Indigo Nightingale
by skyflower51
Summary: From the moment she was born, she was different. From innocent child to Thieves Guild member, from Nightingale to runaway, from exile to hero- this is Karliah's story, from the very beginning, to the very end.
1. Prologue

**My favourite questline in all of Skyrim just has to be the Thieves Guild one, especially the surprise I got during **_**Speaking With Silence. **_**Call me credulous,****but I honestly never saw it coming. After I thought about it for a while, I realised what an intriguing character Karliah is and how little we actually know about her. How did she come to join the Guild? How did her relationship with Gallus begin? How did she survive after she was forced to leave the Guild? **

**Since nobody was about to answer those questions for me, I decided to answer them myself. Here is her life- from innocent child to Thieves Guild member, from Nightingale to runaway, from exile to hero. This is Karliah's story, from the very beginning, to the very end.**

**Please note- not all in-game dialogue will be accurate, and nor will all in-game events. Also, I've had to make up a large chunk of Karliah's past, for fairly obvious reasons. However, I've done as much research as possible. I will say at the start of each chapter how much is made up and how much is accurate.**

**I don't own anything here that was made by the game. But I stake my claim on the story itself.**

**I really hope you like it!**

**-Sky**

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Indigo Nightingale

_Though lovers be lost, love shall not; _

_And death shall have no dominion._

- From _And Death Shall Have No Dominion _by Dylan Thomas

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PROLOGUE

My name is Karliah.

But that tells you nothing about who I am.

Nobody knows who I am. Not really. Not even myself. Sometimes, I try to find a way of knowing myself, a name to go with me that says who I am in a way nothing else does. Nightingale. Thieves Guild member. Agent of Nocturnal. Gallus's lover. Outcast. Exile. Runaway. All of them are true, but none of them say who I am. Because the truth is- I don't know who I am. My life has been so harsh and difficult that I have had to change so many times in order to survive.

There was only ever one person who saw me for who I truly am. And he is long since gone.

I never know whether it makes me happy or sad to remember him. I think of his smile, his laugh, the roguish grin he always gave me before we went running into danger. I think of how, despite his scholarly face and manner, there was always a boyish twinkle in his eyes, a look of mischief that made you feel like anything was possible. I think of how we fell in love, how we swore allegiance to each other no matter what should happen to us. But as soon as I think of the good times, the bad times come back to me. Or rather, the single bad time. Down in that musty, dark tomb, over and over again in my mind, I see Mercer strike, see Gallus fall; hear his final cry echo through the darkness. _'Karliah!'_

And I hear it suddenly cut short as Mercer plunges his sword into his back.

How many times I have hated myself for letting it happen. I should have realised; I should have done something to prevent it. I still remember the words Mercer and I shared as we faced each other after all those years:

'_You always were a quick study.'_

'_Not quick enough, otherwise Gallus might still be alive.'_

And it was true, horribly true. I should have known. I should have known.

But I didn't. And that changed everything.

Now, I start to hear Evergloam calling me. I know that it will not be long before I answer Nocturnal's summons. I do not fear to go. In fact, I welcome it. Some nights I dream of leaving this world behind, moving on to the next one. I am not afraid to do so, knowing that Gallus will be waiting for me there.

When I look back over my life, I often wonder what I could have done to change it. What could I have done better or worse? How could I have made a difference to what happened? Would I be happier now if I had? And most of all… would Gallus still be alive?

So many questions and so few answers.

I don't know if I am happy now. To be sure, Mercer is dead, the Nightingales are restored, and the Guild is flourishing under its new leadership. But can I ever truly be happy, without Gallus?

I doubt it. I gave my soul to Gallus, and part of it died along with him.

That is why I have to tell my story. Sometimes it seems that it almost happened to someone else, I feel so different now to who I was at first. But if I don't tell it, tell it all, every moment, leaving out nothing and saying everything- it will all be forgotten. And it mustn't be forgotten.

And maybe it'll help me, help me to work out who I am. Because I don't know. Even after all these years, after everything that's happened… I still don't know.

That is why I tell this story. Because then maybe, years after I have joined my beloved Gallus in Evergloam, you will chance upon it, on the altar where I left in in Nightingale Hall. You will wipe the dust from its cover, open it to this first page, and begin reading. You will read of how I made my journey, from the naïve young rogue who set out to join the Guild all that time ago, to the woman I am now, bent over this table, writing these words. You will read it, you will remember it. And once you have finished, you will set the book down and decide for yourself who I am.

I am Karliah. Granddaughter of Queen Barenziah and Drayven Indoril. Daughter of Dralsi Indoril. Thief. Archer. Nightingale.

Or am I?

That is for you to decide.


	2. Legends

**In this chapter:**

**Accuracies: I know that Karliah's grandfather lived in Shor's Stone, so it made sense for her to be brought up there.**

**I'm pretty certain that the bit about Azura's curse is right. Every site I looked at said something different but I got it sorted out in the end... hopefully.**

**The bit about Drayven Indoril and Barenziah is true, I hope. Again, I had to look at a number of different sources and almost all of them disagreed with each other!**

**Inaccuracies: Nobody knows who Karliah's father was. Not that I know of, anyway. If you do, please tell me quickly!**

**If you think I've made a mistake, feel free to PM me and I'll do my best to sort it out.**

**I would really, really love it if you could leave a quick review, so I know how I'm doing.**

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BOOK ONE- DAUGHTER

_Blessed be childhood, which brings down something of heaven into the midst of our rough earthliness. _

- Henri Frederic Amiel

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CHAPTER ONE

'From the moment you were born, you were different.'

The flames crackled merrily in the hearth, bathing the whole room in a flickering, warm amber glow. The stars glittered through the thin glass of the window, tiny white specks in the endless black ocean of the night sky. I could hear the wind hurling itself against the house, and I could feel it too, whipping through the walls and chilling the air around me. I shivered and huddled closer to the fire. My mother, kneeling on the floor behind me, ran her hands through my dark auburn hair, twisting it into a plait with her gentle hands.

I pulled it loose and turned my head to face her. 'Different?'

She nodded. 'You will always be different, my love. But that is not something to be condemned. Far too often we are prejudiced towards people who are different. But you, you must take pride in it.'

'Why, mother?' Such deep thinking was not usual for a seven-year-old girl, especially not one who had lived all her life in a small mining town, one whose father had died when she was only three years of age.

My mother smiled and tenderly turned my head around and continued plaiting my hair. 'You know what race we are, Karliah.'

'Dunmer, of course.' I knew very little about the world, but naturally I knew that.

I knew that she smiled again even though my head was facing away from her. 'That's right. We're Dunmer, Dark Elves, the folk of Morrowind. Have you noticed that we're different to the other people who live in our village?'

'Of course,' I told her again. 'Our skin…'

'And our eyes, too. Have you ever wondered why we're like that?'

I nodded, eagerly hanging on her every word. I could tell that a story was coming, and when my mother told stories, it seemed that the whole world stopped to listen, entranced by the magic of her voice. 'Tell me!' I blurted out excitedly, and heard her chuckle.

'Listen, and I will tell you.' It was the way she always began a tale. I have never forgotten the way she used to say those words. It always made my heart flutter like a bird.

'It begins many, many centuries ago, long before the world had been made into the place it is now. In those days, there were no Dunmer, only the Chimer- the Changed Ones. They were people of the Summerset Isles who left their homeland to dwell in Morrowind. I will not tell you all of the trials and hardships they endured there over the years, nor why they first left. Those are different stories, and they would take too long to tell now. But this I will tell you- during a time of disunity among the Chimer, the Nords of Skyrim invaded and took over Morrowind. For many years the Chimer lived under the heavy hand of the Nords, until they allied themselves with the Dwemer and ousted the invaders. Then began the Tribunal.'

'The Tribunal,' I echoed. That was my habit when my mother told her stories- when she reached a word that sounded particularly interesting, I would repeat it, rolling it around my mouth, tasting it to try and share in its magic. I have always believed that words hold magic and nobody will ever persuade me otherwise.

'That's right.' My mother finished my plait and started to tie it in place with a dark blue ribbon. 'This was in the days of the First Council, when the Great House system was being born. And at the head of this system was Indoril Nerevar, and his three advisors- the Tribunal.'

'Indoril?' I turned, accidentally pulling my hair from her grasp, and my mother let out an exasperated sigh as the ribbon slipped from her fingers and my plait came loose. 'But that's-'

'Our surname, yes. Be patient, my little one, and I will explain all.'

I fell silent and turned back to the flickering flames.

'The unity between Chimer and Dwemer did not last long. The War of the First Council came, as the two former allies turned against each other. It looked like the Dwemer would emerge triumphant and the Chimer would be destroyed- but then Indoril Nerevar took up his sword. He headed the great battle at Red Mountain. That was a horrifying battle. The falling bodies shook the ground, and friends turned against each other. Good men turned mad with blood-wrath, and fearless warriors fled in terror. It was not until the ground had been washed red with the blood of thousands, that the Chimer emerged victorious. But at terrible cost. Not just Chimer and Dwemer, but Orcs and Nords too perished in that terrible battle. And the Dwemer were driven to extinction.'

'Extincition?' I frowned.

'It means that they died out completely. There were none left.'

'None?'

'Not one.'

My eyes widened. 'What happened then?'

'The Dwemer lost the battle, but the Chimer lost too. In war, everybody loses. It was the foolishness of the Tribunal that did it. They murdered Indoril Nerevar in a sacrifice, to summon Azura, and ask her what to do now that the battle was over.' My mother shook her head sadly.

'Azura? The Daedric Prince, Azura?'

'Yes.'

'Mother, why is she called a Daedric Prince if she's female? Why isn't she a Daedric Princess?'

She chuckled. 'That's just the way things are, my dearest. Hush now. Let me tell you what Azura did.'

I nodded and looked into the fire again. Gazing into the flames, I allowed my imagination to turn the tongues of fire into people. I almost was able to see them battling, Chimer against Dwemer, friend against friend, kinsman against kinsman, burning into each other, hungry for blood…

My mother was speaking again. 'When Azura came, and saw what they had done, she shook with rage and shrieked a curse to the skies. Her anger shook all Nirn as she cried, 'May the eyes of the Changed Ones be turned as red as this volcanic ash, and may their skin be as blackened as their hearts. The accursed drawn, blood from the master spilled, and a curse shown in the race of these folk, forevermore.' And with that, the Chimer were Chimer no longer. Their skin turned dark, and their eyes turned red, and that was the beginning of all Dunmer.'

'But, Mother-' I turned again, making sure that my plait was well and truly in place this time. 'My eyes…'

She smiled. 'That's right, Karliah. Look at my eyes.' She closed them and tapped them gently. 'Red as flame, red as blood. Your father, do you remember his eyes? Crimson as a ripe snowberry. But you…'

I looked at the window, black as the sky behind it, and saw my questioning gaze reflected in the glass. 'Blue,' I breathed.

'Indigo, really,' my mother corrected me. 'Indigo like the twilight sky.'

Curiously, I looked at her. 'I never knew my eyes were different.'

'They are, my love. You are the only Dunmer in history not to be affected by Azura's curse. Certainly I have never heard of any other.'

'But… why me?'

My mother smiled again. 'It's another story that goes back many, many years, though not so long as the first story. In a way, the two tales are intertwined, so I cannot tell you the first without the second. Listen, and I will tell you.'

I smiled. I never got over the thrill of hearing those words. I never have and I never will.

'Have you ever heard of Queen Barenziah?'

'I… I think so.' My brow furrowed. 'I think you've told me stories about her.'

'I have, and now I will tell you another. Many people have heard the tale of Barenziah and the Nightingale. But there a few, very few, who know the truth about who the Nightingale was.'

'I thought it was a bird.'

'It is. But it was also the alias, the tales say, of a legendary battlemage called Jagar Tharn. It is said that he tricked Barenziah into revealing the location of a powerful artefact named the Staff of Chaos. But this is not true. It was a story spun by Barenziah herself, to hide the truth.'

'What was the truth?' My mother often did that, paused halfway through a tale as if not going to finish it, waiting for me to ask her to continue.

'The truth was that Nightingale was actually a Dunmer thief named Drayven Indoril.'

'Drayven Indoril!' I repeated her words in amazement. 'But-' I quickly snapped off the question forming on my tongue as my mother carried on.

'Drayven Indoril was one of the most accomplished thieves of the time. Jagar Tharn hired him to, well, _seduce _Barenziah so that she would tell him the Staff's location.'

'What's seduce?'

She smiled to herself. 'I'll tell you when you're older.'

I bit my lip. I hated it when adults said that. I was seven, and seven was older than six, so didn't that make me older? 'Mother…'

She gave another of her soft chuckles. 'It means he made her… fall in love with him.'

I blinked in the confusion that seven-year-old innocence can cause. 'How did he do that?'

'When you're older, Karliah. When you're older.'

I could tell there was to be no arguing with her, so I nodded unhappily and allowed her to continue.

'Once Jagar Tharn had the staff, he attempted to kill Drayven. But Drayven was too quick and too clever and was able to escape with ease. Jagar Tharn searched for him, but he could not be found.'

'Where did he go?' I could picture him in my mind, running for his life, trying to find a place of safety, somewhere to hide from the evil that was hunting him down. Little did I know that one day, that would be me. That the time would come when I would be the runaway, the fugitive, the prey.

'At first, he returned to Morrowind, to rejoin his family. He did not stay there long. The war between houses made him decide to leave. He did not wish to fight, and he was positive that Jagar Tharn posed no threat to him anymore. So he left Morrowind behind, and came to Skyrim. He came here. He came to Shor's Stone. Here he found safety and acceptance, and he threw down his weapons and declared that he would run no more. Casting aside his old life and his old identity, he made this place his home, and never again did he raise his sword to fight another creature. But the story does not end there.'

I felt my blue-grey skin prickle with excitement. 'So what happened next?'

'The first thing you need to know, Karliah, is that none living on this world at the time could lie and manipulate like Queen Barenziah. She was like a snake, slithering her way in and out of trouble. You see, Jagar Tharn went on to do a terrible thing. He had planned to become wielder of the Staff of Chaos so that he might use it to imprison the emperor, Uriel Septim VII. He planned to use its power to take the throne for himself. After he had enacted this evil plan, the blame fell on Barenziah for allowing him to take hold of the Staff. Perhaps she was more like a spider than a snake, for she spun a story that imprisoned the truth like a spider snares a fly in its web. She turned the mysterious Nightingale into Jagar Tharn, for who could blame her for falling under the enchantment of a powerful sorcerer? But there was one truth she could not hide, and that was the life that emerged from her… relationship… with Drayven Indoril.'

I sucked in air sharply. 'You mean…'

'That's right. The Queen gave birth to a child, a child whose father was Drayven Indoril.'

Wide-eyed with wonderment, I gazed into the embers of the fire as if hoping to see the secrets of the past dancing in the flames there.

'Barenziah knew that she could not keep the child, or it would be questioned who the father was. And if it was discovered that she had given birth to a child by Drayven Indoril… her cleverly-spun lie would have fallen into pieces. She abandoned the child, leaving her with the midwife who had delivered her. That child grew up knowing who her parents were, knowing her mother did not want her, and not knowing where her father was, or even if he was still alive. Knowing that he was the only one who might show her some kinship, the day she was old enough, she left behind everything she knew and set out alone to find him. She scoured every forest and mountains, every village and town, searching for the tiniest of traces and clues that might lead her to her father. And finally, after many years of searching, her quest led her to the sleepy village of Shor's Stone, where she was united with her father at last. He was in the twilight years of his life by this time, and could easily have turned her away. But he did not. He loved her as any father loves his daughter. He taught her everything he knew, and more too that he did not know. Eventually his daughter married and she too had a child. Seeing the last of his kin safe and happy allowed Drayven to finally leave this world behind, to move on to the next life. And though his daughter grieved for him, she had her family now, and could want no more.'

My mother looked out of the window, to the shimmering stars. 'Her name was, and still is, Dralsi Indoril.'

'But that's you!' I stared at her in astonishment. 'Drayven Indoril was my grandfather!'

She dipped her head.

'You never told me before.'

'No. Even now I have not told you the full story. If I tell you it now, when you are older and it truly matters, you will not understand it all. With every year that passes, Karliah, you will grow wiser. And one day you will be wise enough for me to tell you all.'

Something about the way she spoke made it clear that there was to be no argument. I understood- at least, I thought I understood.

'So do you see now how the two tales are intertwined? For if we were to follow the bloodline of Drayven Indoril, back through his ancestors and the ancestors of his ancestors, we would find it coming to a stop at a single man. Can you guess who?'

I thought back through the story, and the name came to me in a flash. 'Indoril Nerevar!'

'Indeed. Indoril Nerevar, the last true Chimer. That is why you are different, Karliah.'

'So my eyes are funny because they're Chimer eyes, not Dunmer eyes?'

'Yes. The Chimer blood runs through all the Indorils, but only in you has it surfaced strongly enough to break the curse of Azura.'

'The Chimer blood,' I whispered in awe. 'We've got Chimer blood?'

'Yes, but don't look now, because it would hurt, and Chimer blood doesn't have 'Chimer' written on it in big letters,' my mother said, smiling.

I giggled. 'And I'd make a mess all over the floor!'

We both laughed. How I loved those times we shared together by the hearth, with me watching the dancing flames and listening to the magic of my mother's voice. How too painfully short those times were. If only they had lasted longer. If only…

The words slipped from my mouth without my bidding, words from deep within me, far beyond the mind of a girl of only seven years. 'What does it mean?'

My mother frowned. 'What does what mean?'

'You said that my having indigo eyes means that part of Azura's curse hasn't affected me.' I felt a strange emotion within me, something I could not name. 'What does it mean? Resisting the curse? Is it a good thing?'

'It can only mean one thing, dearest.' My mother placed her hands on my shoulders. 'That the curse of Azura is broken by you means that you will have an extraordinary destiny. Some incredible future, written in the stars. I do not know what it is, or why it is you that was chosen. But your fate will be unlike any other. Of that I am certain.'

_Unlike any other. _I repeated the words under my breath, wondering about their true meaning. 'Is it… something good? Or might it be bad?'

'It's impossible to say.' Her voice was soft and gentle, as soothing as a lullaby. 'But remember, Karliah, our destinies are what we make them. Nobody and nothing but us decides our fate. I know that your future has the ability to be one of the most amazing of any man, elf or beast to ever set foot on this world. But only if you make it so.'

I nodded solemnly. 'I will.'

'I know you will, my little Nightingale.'

'Mother… why do you always call me that? Is it because of Drayven?'

Her smile was a secretive one, the sort of smile that hides things away out of sight. 'One day, I'll tell you, love. One day.'

She stood up and looked out of the window. 'It's getting late. Nightingales might be creatures of the night, but you're not.'

It was only then I realised just how tired I was. I nodded, stifling a yawn. 'Goodnight, mother.'

'Goodnight, Karliah.'

I took hold of the wooden mantelpiece and pulled myself to my feet. As I made my sleepy way up the stairs to my room, I heard my mother's voice calling after me. The words were words I knew well, the words she always used to end a tale.

'Remember the story, Karliah. Never forget what you have learned from it. Let it live inside you- in your heart, in your mind, and in your soul. Because maybe, one day yet to come, it will make you a better person than the one you are today.'

As I snuggled down into my bed and pulled the blanket up to my chin, I felt a little smile creep over my face as I recalled what my mother had told me. Could it really be true? Could I really have some incredible future decided by the Divines themselves? Would I really be strong enough to make it a good destiny, one that would change Tamriel, and me, for the better?

I would. I would make it a good destiny, come what may.

As I slipped into the warm darkness of sleep, I allowed a final, exhilarating thought to cross my mind.

_One day, my deeds will be so famous that all Nirn will know my name!_


	3. Learning

**A big thank you to everyone who's reviewed and alerted this story! It means a lot to me.**

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CHAPTER TWO

'Mother, I'm cold.'

I had a right to be. It was snowing. And when it snows in Skyrim, it snows as if the clouds themselves have fallen into pieces which are raining down upon you. Even in the Rift, perhaps the warmest part of the land, it was snowing as if we were in Winterhold. We had been sitting outside our house for the last ten minutes, and now the snow was halfway up my thighs. A group of merchants passing through the village with their horse cart were moving at a snail's pace, stopping every few moments to try and lift the cart from the snow. The poor horse, its head bent as it strained with all its might to try and shift its heavy load, looked like a four-legged, furry icicle.

'I know, love. But this snow is the perfect cover.'

'Cover for what?' I shivered, hugging my arms into my chest to try and reserve a tiny amount of what little warmth I had. The snow got thicker even as I spoke and it was a struggle to see the other side of the road. Everything was white, from the sky, to the ground, to the roofs of the houses. The merchants had unhitched their horse and were now trying to pull the cart themselves. They moved all of about the length of a mudcrab before one of them slipped, knocking all of them into the snow. The cart jolted abruptly to a halt and I bit back a giggle.

'Cover for your first lesson.'

_Lesson? _I blinked up at her in confusion. 'What sort of lesson?'

She chuckled- how well I remember that chuckle. It was a soft, gentle sound, like water pattering over rocks. That was one of the many strange things about my mother- she never laughed. She never did anything loud. Even when she was angry with me, she never shouted. Perhaps that's why I loved her so much.

'A lesson in the art that my father taught me, and his father taught him, and his father taught him. An art that a lot of people see as low-down and dishonourable, but is in fact one of the most worthy and dignified arts in all Tamriel. The art of thievery.'

'Thievery?' I looked at her, my incredulousness showing on my face. 'How is that dignified?'

My mother put her arm around my shoulders. 'A fair questions, Karliah, and a sensible one too. It's a question many people ask, and all too few people know the answer to.' A smile played around the corners of her mouth, as it always did when a joke was imminent. 'In particular the town guards.'

I snorted with slight laughter. 'But stealing is taking other people's stuff. How is that honourable?'

She let out a wistful sigh. 'There are many different sorts of thief, little one. There are the thieves that walk up to you and slit your throat before taking everything you have. There are the thieves that knock you out and do the same. There are the ones that hold you at knifepoint or point an arrow at your back and tell you it's your money or your life. Those are all dishonourable thieves, people that abuse the noble art for their own ends.'

'So what makes a good thief?'

Her gaze was very intense as she looked down at me. 'Are you listening to me, Karliah?'

'Of course!'

'Are you truly listening? Are you not just hearing every word, but taking it in and remembering it? Because one day, your life may well depend on what I am about to tell you now.'

Her seriousness humbled me. I nodded earnestly, trying to look as mature and grown-up as possible. 'I'm listening, mother.'

'Good.' A sheet of snow, too heavy to resist the force of gravity, slid off the roof of the house and fell with a crunch and an explosion of whiteness onto the ground. 'This is a lesson that you must remember all your life, Karliah, and that is what makes an honourable thief. There are several rules that you must always obey, and the first is this: always take enough, and no more.'

'Enough and no more,' I repeated. 'So… enough for you to get by, but never too much?'

'That's exactly it. The true thief never takes everything from another man or woman, never makes it impossible for another to live their life. Neither does he or she take too much for themselves. People who have too much money for the wrong reasons always choose a bad path in the end. Take what you need, and no more. Take when you need it, and never at any other time.'

I let every word she spoke echo in my mind until I was certain I had comprehended it truly. I nodded to show that I had understood. 'What are the other rules?'

She smiled. 'The other rules are all rules for the stealing itself, how to do it properly without being seen. There is only one other rule that is not, and I will not tell you now. When I know you are ready, that is when I will tell you it.'

'Why am I not ready now?'

A strange, unusual sadness flickered in her eyes for a moment. 'One day, you'll understand.'

I wanted to protest, but I could tell it would be useless.

'Do you see those merchants?' My mother pointed at the hunched figures battling through the snow. 'They pass through this village every month, on their way to Riften. They have a successful business and far more money than they need.' She stood up and smiled. 'Do you think you could relieve them of some of it? After all, I think their load's heavy enough.'

Anxiety mixed with eagerness to please her flooded through me. 'Easy!'

'Not as easy as it looks, I'm afraid, even with all this snow to hide you.' I watched as one of the cart wheels caught on a hidden rock and the whole thing crashed onto its side. 'You see, if your hand is just the tiniest bit not light enough, if you don't move as quick as you need to, even if you breathe too loudly, you'll be given away.'

I felt my insides twist uneasily. 'How do I do it?'

'It's a lot simpler than some people make it out to be. But it's hard all the same. One of the most important skills you need to learn as a thief is how to pick your target. Have a look at those traders, Karliah. Which one of them do you think will be the easiest?'

I got to my feet and examined them closely. There were four of them- two men and two women. I studied them all in turn. There was a red-haired Bosmer woman who was holding the reins of the horse and trying to lead it forward. She had a gold necklace and expensive clothing, but I couldn't see her purse, and her pockets were all buttoned up firmly. Heaving with all his strength at the cart, trying to right it again, was a huge, muscular Nord man with a battle-axe strapped to his back. I guessed he was the group's guard, as he was dressed in iron armour and had no jewellery like the others. A second Nord, a woman, was picking fallen packages up from the snow. She had a leather pouch attached to her belt that clinked slightly when she moved, so I guessed that it was full of coins. Finally, there was an Imperial man whose coin purse dangled in plain sight from his belt, tied to it with a piece of string. From the way he was yelling orders at the others, I assumed instantly that he was the leader.

'Remember,' my mother murmured in my ear, 'a good thief sees opportunity everywhere, and always knows when to take a risk.'

My brow creased in concentration, I raised my hand and hesitated for a moment before pointing at the Imperial. 'Him,' I said firmly.

'And why do you say that?'

I nodded at his coin purse. 'Well, the Bosmer's got pockets, but they're all buttoned up, and if I tried to undo them she might notice me. The one with the axe doesn't seem to have anything worthwhile. That one there's got a purse, but it's sewn onto the front of her belt and I couldn't reach it without being seen. But the Imperial, if I could just cut through that piece of string, I could take his whole purse easily.'

'Very good. That's exactly my thinking. You've got talent, my little Nightingale.'

I grinned from ear to ear at her praise. My mother pulled a small knife from her belt and handed it to me. 'Go on, then. Use the snow as cover. Stay hidden. If you think you're going to be caught, back out of it straight away. Light hand, quiet breathing, don't tug on that purse. Just cut the cord and walk away calmly.'

'Mother, what if he sees me?'

'He won't. I believe in you, my love.'

Determination took hold of me and I nodded. Carefully, stepping in the footsteps of others who had walked along the path in order to prevent my feet from crunching on the snow, I began to approach the cart. They had managed to finally get it the right way up, but its contents were scattered everywhere and one of the wheels had snapped off. The Imperial was kneeling, trying to fit it back in place, while the others busied themselves with reloading their goods. That coin purse, my goal, my prize, hung so temptingly from that fragile cord, almost seeming to beckon to me. I cast a nervous glance at my mother, who nodded encouragingly. I took another pace forward, and another. I was nearly directly behind the man now, and if he or any of his companions happened to turn around, I would instantly arouse suspicion. I had to move fast. Shaking slightly, I crouched down. The Imperial cursed as he cut his finger on a splinter of wood and picked up a hammer. With his attention focused on bashing the wheel back into position, and his colleagues bent over their fallen crates and bundles, I knew I had one opportunity, and one opportunity only, to make my theft and clear out. Ever so gently, I took hold of the coin purse and slashed through the string that tied it to my victim's belt in a single quick cut. The string went slack instantly and dropped away, leaving the little cloth pouch in my hand. Exhilaration coursed through me, but I knew I hadn't got away with it yet. I straightened up, slowly, so as not to attract his attention, and took a few paces backwards. Then I slipped the purse into my pocket and walked casually back to where my mother stood waiting for me as if nothing had happened.

She nodded at me as I reached her and opened the door to our house. I followed her inside, shaking the snow from my boots. I waited until the door was firmly shut before yanking the purse from my pocket and waving it above my head.

'I got it! I did it! I actually did it!'

My mother swept me up in her arms and spun me round in a circle. 'You did, my beautiful girl. I couldn't have done it better myself.'

As she set me down, I pulled the purse open and exultantly poured the coins out into my palm. A few spilled into the floor as I counted them as quickly as I could. 'I make it almost fifty!' I declared triumphantly, almost glowing with pride.

'Nobody would ever believe that was your first time. I've seen people who've trained for years who couldn't have done it as well as you.'

I felt that I would burst with happiness. It was a small achievement, but to me, it was the greatest accomplishment of my entire life. I'd grown up knowing that my entire family were thieves, and had always been thieves, and I'd always known I would one day become one myself. But this- this was special. This was a different sort of stealing. It had its own rules, its own code of honour. Thieves with honour- it was a new idea that nearly blew my mind. Surely, there were only a handful of people on Nirn who knew about this. And I was flattered beyond belief to be one of them.

* * *

'What are you making?'

I watched as my mother gently brought down her pestle, crushing the leaves of a small, glowing plant into a find powder. 'I'm making a magic resistance potion,' she informed me, taking a bowl of a grey, ash-like substance, and pouring a little of it onto the crushed leaves.

I was standing on a stool to be able to see. Having only recently passed my eighth birthday, and having always been short for my age, I was still unable to see over the top of my mother's alchemy lab. 'What does that do?'

'Exactly what its name says. It allows anyone who drinks it to resist magic. Imagine you were fighting a mage. Mages use magic to attack, so if you drank one of these potions, you would have an advantage.'

'But mother, you never fight anyone.'

Sadness flickered in her eyes. 'Just because you've never seen me fight, Karliah, doesn't mean that I don't.'

Confused by her cryptic reply, I fell silent for a moment, until the dark blue liquid she was pouring into a small bottle roused my curiosity again. 'So what's in it?'

'Nirnroot, Crimson Nirnroot, and Void Salts.' She gestured to the little bundles of ingredients lying on the shelf next to the lab. 'There are other, better recipes, but ingredients are much in demand at the moment. This snow has made shortages of everything.'

I nodded, watching as she picked up some of the leaves left over from her last brew and started to make a second potion. 'Mother…' I ventured cautiously.

'Yes, love?'

I picked up some small, blue and black round things that looked like some sort of egg. 'What would happen if you put these into the potion, instead of the Void Salts?'

She looked at me in delight, clearly impressed by my question. 'Try it and see,' she invited, handing me the pestle.

I looked at the pestle in amazed disbelief, as if it had turned bright green and sprouted wings. One of the many ways my mother kept us in coin was by creating and selling potions, but never before had she allowed me to use her laboratory. It had always been expressly forbidden. I wasn't even allowed to touch the reagents in her store, as so many were potentially dangerous. 'Really?'

'Of course. It's a well-known saying that alchemy favours those with inquisitive minds. And I've yet to meet someone with a mind more inquisitive than yours.'

Thrilled, I placed the leaves of the Nirnroot and Crimson Nirnroot on top of each other and brought down the pestle. My mother caught my hand. 'Gently. Do it tenderly, otherwise you'll crush them too hard.'

I nodded and tried again, more softly this time. My mother nodded approvingly as the leaves crumpled beneath the wooden tool. 'Good. Now, add in the Chaurus eggs, and see what happens.'

I picked up a few of the little round things and crushed them into the glowing powder made by the leaves. 'Remember, it might not seem as mysterious as enchanting, or as practical as smithing, but alchemy is an art that's invaluable to a true thief,' my mother called from behind me. 'All good thieves know how to defend themselves, but often they can be overmatched by a powerful mage or trained warrior. Potions and poisons can give you an essential edge in combat.'

I nodded again, watching as the three ingredients were ground up and started to blend into each other, forming a clear, shimmering liquid. I stopped grinding up the components and glanced at my mother. 'What does this do?'

She smiled as she picked up the bowl and poured the glistening substance into a vial. 'It's an invisibility potion. And a very well-made one, too. You've got a natural talent for this, I think. It's in your blood.'

I grinned in silent satisfaction. 'Can I try and make something else?'

'Of course, go ahead. You're old enough by far to start learning all of this. I would have started teaching you a long time ago, except…'

I blinked up at her. 'Except what?'

She smiled that secretive smile. 'Nothing.'

No, it wasn't nothing. I could tell it wasn't nothing. It had to be something, or she wouldn't have said it. But I didn't say anything, because my mother was not the sort of person who would reveal secrets, whether they belonged to her or to someone else.

Turning back to the lab, I examined the rows of ingredients. 'How do you find out which of these will work together?'

'The way to make a good potion or poison is to make sure all three ingredients have a similar effect. Nirnroot, Crimson Nirnroot and Chaurus eggs all have the power to make you invisible, as do many other components, such as vampire dust or luna moth wings. So when you combine them together, as you discovered for yourself, you create a potion of invisibility. However, both Nirnroot and its rarer Crimson counterpart also contains the ability to make someone who drinks a potion made from them resistant to magic. So mix them with something else that allows you to resist magic, like Void Salts, and you've got a magic resistance potion.'

I dipped my head to show I was taking it all in. 'But how do you know what effects an ingredient has?'

My mother's familiar chuckle ran through the air. 'By eating them, mostly.'

I stared at her, disgusted. 'What, even the Chaurus eggs?'

'They're really very nice,' she replied, smiling broadly. 'I think you'll find they taste like fish.'

'But…' I gazed at the rows of reagents, stacked in neat little piles. 'What about those?' I pointed at some strange objects that looked suspiciously like the eyes of a sabre cat.

'Even those.'

'And the Dwarven oil? And the Spriggan sap? And the Ectoplasm?'

'Now, Spriggan sap _is _disgusting,' she admitted. 'But when I make them into Fortify Smithing potions, I get a lot of buyers.'

'But what if you eat something poisonous?'

She shrugged. 'Make a potion to cure it, obviously.'

I looked in trepidation at the ingredients shelf. My mother patted my shoulder reassuringly. 'Don't worry, I've sorted them all out and labelled them with their uses. You won't have to go eating Skeever tails just yet.'

Delighted, I picked up the pestle again. 'So, can I use anything?'

'Anything. The best way to learn something is by doing it.'

I stayed at the lab for almost the entire day. It was not until well after night had fallen that I finally stopped.

* * *

I've never told anyone about my childhood before.

I've never told J'shana or Brynjolf, even though they are probably the best friends I have. After all that time I had to spend alone, it is such a wonderful feeling to be with people who I know would give their lives for me. After all we went through together down in Irkgnthand, I suppose it's only natural that we're close. But none of us ever talk much about our lives. Brynjolf isn't the sort to go asking about people's past. I don't think he's ever seen the need. And… to be honest, he's trustworthy, dependable, and loyal through and through, but he's not a particularly deep thinker. Not that I've seen, anyway. J'shana, on the other hand, she is a deep thinker, very deep indeed. She's quiet, but those amber eyes of hers hold secrets and thoughts too private to be imaginable. And she has an uncanny knack of knowing what people are thinking and feeling. I think she knows I don't really want to talk about my past.

Maybe that's why, when she suggested I write this, I listened to her. That Khajiit is one of the wisest people I know. And she's been through a lot. She might not know about my childhood, but I know about hers. And when you consider who she is… yes, J'shana knows more about life than people as young as her should. She told me that writing down my story might help me deal with all the conflicting, confusing emotions stirring within me now. I think she might be right. I've been keeping all these secrets hidden away inside me, and they've been trying to get out for years. Maybe now is the time.

Maybe. I still don't know.

But maybe you do. Maybe that's why you're reading this.

Maybe, if I can't tell even my closest friends about everything that happened, this is the only way anybody will ever find out the truth.

It's strange. I haven't thought about the early years of my life for a long time. But now that I am remembering them again, I am surprised at just how vividly I can recall those long-buried memories. I feel almost as if I was there again, a wide-eyed child, eager to learn everything she could.

Those years, along with the years I spent in the Guild with Gallus, were probably the happiest times of my life. They are a wonderful blur of excitement and discovery and exploration. My mother made my upbringing a child's paradise.

But there were always the moments, few and far between as they were, when my mother's most deeply buried secret would return to haunt her. I have never forgotten that terrifying night. The night I began to realise that there were things she was keeping from me, dark, hidden truths that I was too young to know.

I understand why she guarded those truths from me. I am grateful to her for not telling me. I could never bear any sort of grudge against my mother.

But then the night came when everything changed.

Listen, and I will tell you.


	4. Innocence

**In case anyone's wondering, Book One will be very short. Only a few more chapters until she finds the Guild. So if anyone's waiting for me to pick up the pace slightly (because I know I am) bear with me, please! I'm just as anxious for her to meet Gallus as you are, even though this is only the third chapter!**

* * *

CHAPTER THREE

Someone once told me that the day a child realises that adults are not perfect is the day he or she begins to leave their childhood behind.

I don't know if that's true. You might have found it so. But I still remember now, even after all these years, the moment when I started to grow up. It was the night I nearly died. The night I made my first kill. The night I realised that my mother was lying to me.

No. That's not fair. I shouldn't say that. Not after everything she did for me.

But all the same, even though it was for my own protection, it was true, horribly true.

The moment I woke up, I could feel that something was wrong. It was some sort of gut instinct, some sixth sense that told me instantly that danger was near. My eyes snapped open. My heart was pounding and for a moment I considered that I'd had a nightmare, one I couldn't remember. But the feeling of impending doom was still hanging over me, something that existed in the here and now. I couldn't name the feeling. I just knew that something was very, very wrong.

Kicking back the covers, I swung myself out of bed before I had even stopped to consider why. My gaze travelled out of the open door and along the short corridor which led to my mother's room. It was one of my mother's habits that I have never been able to forget- she always slept with her door open. It had become a custom one night when I was four years old. After a nightmare which had awakened me in the middle of the night, I had tried to run to her for comfort, only to find that I was too small to reach the handle of her door. Even when I was a teenager, even when I was a young woman, she still slept with an open door, simply because it had become a habit. Now, as softly and quietly as I could, I crossed the corridor and peered through that open door, knowing that I would see the slumbering form of my mother through the darkness.

Instead, I saw only an empty bed, the blankets lying on the ground as if they had been flung aside in a hurry. The wooden wardrobe was open and clothes lay on the floor in piles. Most disturbingly, the sleek and beautiful black and silver bow that always rested on the weapon plaque above the bed was gone. As was my mother.

Calling for her, I turned on my heel and raced down the stairs. I found her in the kitchen. She was wearing armour I had never seen before- shining metal that was a strange colour, not silver, grey or black but some sort of mixture between all three. There was a small symbol emblazoned on it at the neck- a bird reaching for the moon with its wings. An ebony black cape flowed down her back. She was in the process of rummaging through her quiver, counting up her arrows, and didn't notice me until I nervously spoke up.

'Mother?'

She spun around, looking as startled as if a wild wolf had called her name. Seeing me, she relaxed. 'Go back to bed, Karliah.'

'Mother, what's wrong?'

She hesitated. I saw worry flickering in her scarlet eyes, as if she was wondering how much to tell me. 'Nothing's wrong. I… I just have to go somewhere, that's all.'

'Where?' I racked my brains, trying to come up with a decent reason for her to suddenly try to run off in the middle of the night, without telling me, and found none.

'It's not far. I'll be back by morning.'

'But where is it?'

If I had been older, I would have noticed the signs. The way she glanced around, as if expecting to be attacked, the way she clenched her fists as if gripping an imaginary weapon, the way she squirmed anxiously as if ready to turn and run at a moment's notice. But I was only nine. I did not see them.

'Listen, I can't say. You go back to bed and don't worry about it. I'll be home soon.'

I stared at her doubtfully. If there was nothing to worry about, why was she sneaking out of the house in the dead of night, fully armed? My mother had never raised a weapon against anyone- not that I had seen, at least. What reason could there possibly be for her to leave? I suddenly felt angry. It was almost like somebody flicked a switch inside me. All my life, I kept hearing the same things. _I'll tell you when you're older. One day, you'll know. I can't tell you, but when I know you're ready, I'll answer your questions._ It was suddenly too much for me.

'How can I not worry about it if I don't know where you're going?' The words burst from me before I could hold them back. 'You keep hiding things from me! Why do you never say? I want to know! I know it's important! But no, it's always _I'll tell you when you're older!_ How much longer do you expect me to wait?'

The moment the words were out of my mouth, I regretted them. I felt a chill run through me. How had I dared to say such things? How could I be so heartless? But it was too late to take them back; they were hanging in the air, echoes of my fury ringing in the silence.

Shocked at myself, I blinked and looked at the floor, feeling my throat grow tight and tears beginning to well up in my eyes. I waited for her to shout back, to lose her temper, to tell me it was for my own good and storm out of the house and leave me alone with my guilt.

Instead, she walked up to me and crouched down to my level, placing her hands on my shoulders.

'My little Nightingale,' she murmured. 'You've got a right to be angry. In your place, I'd be angry too. In fact, I'd be worried if you weren't angry. You're right. I'm keeping secrets from you, secrets you deserve to know. The only reason I haven't told you is because I love you. You have no idea how much danger you would be in if you knew.'

I swallowed back my tears. 'I'm sorry.' The words were barely audible.

'Don't be. I'm the one who needs to be sorry.' She smiled at me, that warm, gentle smile, and I managed to smile back. 'I wish I could tell you where I'm going, and I wish I could tell you why. But I can't. It's something important, something I can't avoid. I've been summoned. There's something I need to protect, me and some friends, and it's my duty to go. It won't take long. I'll be back. I promise.'

I nodded. 'I'll… I'll wait,' I told her, unsure of what else to say.

She straightened up and picked up her bow. 'Don't worry about me. Before you know it, I'll be home.'

With that, she half ran the door and pulled it open. She turned in the frame, as if wanting to say something else, then seemed to think better of it, shaking her head and dashing out into the night.

I felt very alone after the door closed. Silence is a lonely companion.

Tired as I was, something kept me from re-ascending the stairs and returning to my bed. I still had a feeling that something was wrong. She was keeping something from me. There was something, something just out of my reach, that I had let pass before I'd realised its significance. It was like I was a cat that had pounced on a mouse only to have it slip through my paws and whisk away down its hole.

And then it hit me. A realisation so terrible that I groped at the wall to remain standing.

She had lied to me.

And she had been lying to me for a long time.

And she had been prepared to lie to me again.

All right. Maybe that wasn't fair. It wasn't so much lying as hiding the truth, or at least not telling all of it. But she had been ready to leave me alone without saying so much as a word. How did I know she hadn't done this before, slipped out of the house at night in secret? And all my life, she'd told me that we were safe and free. We didn't owe anything to anyone and we didn't have any enemies. That was what she'd always told me. That was what I'd always believed. But if we owed nothing to anyone, who had summoned her, and why had she had to answer that summons? And if we had no enemies, why go armed with bow and dagger? Why would anyone wear armour if they didn't expect to be attacked?

Every time I came within reach of an answer, I was rewarded with nothing but more questions. What was this thing she had gone to protect? Was it even a thing? Was it an object, or a place, or even a person? And the friends she had mentioned, who were they? And what was with the armour? What was that strange symbol, the bird and the moon?

Questions, questions, questions. More and more. That's the trouble with being lied to.

I sat down on the lowest step of the stairs and waited, thoughts teeming in my mind like my head was a nest of angry bees. I watched the window, following the passage of the moons and stars. I don't know how long I spent there, trying to unravel the tangles threads of the mystery my mother had created without warning. I felt so alone, as if by realising that my mother had some secret, some dark, hidden, dangerous secret, I had become the only person in the entire world.

But what was that secret?

An hour crawled by, an hour of anxiety and confusion. Then a second, and a third. With every second that passed I expected the door to open, to reveal my mother returning home. But it didn't. And it didn't. And it still didn't.

Suddenly I was shaking myself awake. How long had I been asleep? Some time, judging by the stiffness in my limbs. I shakily got to my feet. If my mother had returned by now, she would have woken me up. She couldn't be back yet. What was keeping her? What was taking her so long?

What if something had happened to her?

What if she was…?

No! I couldn't think like that. I couldn't. I made the decision in a second. I raced up the stairs and into my room. Grabbing the warmest tunic I had, I pulled it over my head so hurriedly I put it on backwards. Not bothering to turn it around, I finished dressing, sped downstairs again and grabbed my leather boots, shoving them onto my feet as quickly as was possible. Finally, after a moment's hesitation, I picked up by bow and quiver from the rack where they hung. I was forbidden to use my bow unless my mother was there. I had never before actually killed anything with it. I suddenly wondered whether I would have to tonight.

There was no time to dwell on the future. I had to find her. Anything could have happened to her, anything at all. The wilds of Skyrim were perilous and savage and teeming with danger. Bandits, wolves, sabre cats, bears, Spriggans… all thought nothing of attacking lone travellers. I knew that, even though I'd never been more than ten minutes' journey away from home. If something happened to her, I would be completely alone. She was all I had.

It was not until that I was standing outside the house, bow in hand and eyes narrowed in determination, that I realised two things I had overlooked before.

Firstly, my mother had a horse, a night-black stallion named Dusk who ran fast as the wind. I was on foot. Wherever she was, I would take four times as long to get there as she had. And secondly, I had no idea where on Nirn she was.

I didn't even know what direction she had travelled in after leaving the village. She could have gone north, south, east, or west, towards any of the Holds. She could have gone into the wilds or into a city. For the Divines' sake, she could have just walked down the road and into one of the houses! I had nothing to go on, not a thing.

I decided to try and think through all the possibilities. Since she had clearly wanted to get to wherever she had gone quickly, it was fairly safe to assume that she'd gone on horseback. Therefore, the best course of action was to go to the far end of the village, where she always kept Dusk tethered to a tree. With no other options, I ran down the entire length of the street that ran through the village. A single glance at the pine tree where Dusk was usually tied confirmed my suspicions. The horse was gone.

But where to? I walked over to the base of the tree and studied the ground around it. My mother had taught me about tracking, and now I breathed a silent prayer of thanks to the Gods that she had. I could see Dusk's hoofprints scattered around in the wet earth, some old, some relatively fresh. I followed the fresher ones. They led away from the tree, towards the south road, the road that led to Riften. At first they were close and shallow, but suddenly they became deep and far apart. He had started cantering here. Casting a last glance at the slumbering village, I broke into a run, following the hoofprint path.

As I ran, I ran through all the possible options of where my mother might have gone in my mind. The road led to Riften, but what would she want there? She'd always kept away from people, even the other villagers. What other places lay to the south? Having never travelled far from home, I knew no other places in this direction. I would have to just carry on and hope.

Hope. Easy to say. Hard to have when you're lost in the wilds of Skyrim and you can't find the only person who you love.

Maybe I should turn back.

Yes, and abandon her to whatever's befallen her, I told myself bitterly, pulling my thin cloak around me and marching stubbornly on.

The trees, usually so beautiful with their thin white trunks and amber leaves, seemed strangely threatening in the dark, like shadowy sentinels watching my every move. The moons gazed down upon me like two accusing eyes. Every twitch of a leaf, every sound, however quiet, made me think of dark things bursting out of the shadows towards me. I half expected every boulder to come alive and leap upon me, every shadow to reveal an enemy. What was I doing? What had I been thinking, coming out here alone? Nobody ventures into Skyrim's wildernesses alone at night! Even on the roads, it's dangerous. I knew that. How many times had my mother told me? Divines above, what had I done?

I had been trudging onwards, watching my feet on the path for a while, and when I looked up and saw the glint of the fire it took me by surprise. I stopped, clutching my longbow and trying to work out what was up ahead. The orange glow of the flames illuminated the scene. Two men, figures in hide and fur armour, sat beside a fire. They were both armed, one with a war axe, the other with a bow and a sword. Bandits. The word sprung into my mind unbidden and fear shot through me. There was nothing else they could be. I knew that these men cared for nothing but their own wealth and would happily attack a nine-year-old Dunmer girl, especially one who was alone and had never used her bow to kill a living thing. They were utterly callous. They were merciless. And worst of all, they had seen me.

I could tell from the way the grinned, glanced at each other and drew their weapons that this wasn't going to be a friendly chat. My fingers shook as I reached into my quiver. My fingers found the feathered shaft of an arrow. In a fluid movement I had made so many times before, I drew the arrow and notched it to my bowstring, drawing back the thin twine as far as it would go, until the feathers were tickling my cheek. I'd done this so, so many times, but this time it was different. This time, I was aiming at a fellow person.

'Well, ain't this a surprise?' It was the one with the war axe who spoke, grinning from ear to ear.

The second, an Orc with a heavy fur cloak, leaned on his bow, leering at me. 'Get lost, did we?'

'Leave me alone.' I was surprised by how calm my voice sounded. My arrow trembled on the bowstring.

War Axe burst out laughing. 'Ooh, we got a tough one here!'

'I wouldn't say tough.' Fur Cloak leered nastily. 'I'd say either very brave… or very lost.'

'Or just plain stupid,' War Axe smirked, pawing the edge of his weapon.

Fur Cloak reached for an arrow. 'Thinks she can use a bow, too. Want to have a competition, greyskin?'

_Greyskin!_ Fury ripped through me, but I didn't allow it to show on my face. 'I'll kill you,' I told him. 'If you try to kill me, I'll kill you.'

But would I, though? Could I? Could I truly take an arrow, aim it at another person, look him in the eye, and fire?

What would it be like to die? The thought was unasked for, but unavoidable. Like falling asleep, just quicker? Where would I go? If I killed these people- if I really could kill them- what would happen to them?

'I take it back. She's tough all right.' Fur Cloak drew back his shaft, ready to fire. 'Not for long, though.'

That was the moment when I knew my time was up. I had two choices. Kill, or be killed. Either he died, or I did.

I couldn't die.

I had to find my mother.

My fingers slipped from my bowstring.

There was a twang sound, followed by a hiss and a thud. Fur Cloak staggered backwards, his bow and arrow dropping into the mud. He looked in blank shock at my arrow, protruding from his chest as if a strange plant had taken root there. Then he suddenly pitched backwards and lay still on the ground.

War Axe stared at me. I stared at the dead Orc. The dead Orc stared sightlessly at the stars.

The world felt suddenly unreal, as if everything around me was an illusion, except for the bow in my hands and the unmoving figure lying three paces away from me, blood beginning to spread across his chest.

I had killed.

I had just killed.

One moment, Fur Cloak had been a person. He'd been a man with feelings, thoughts and emotions, desires, hopes and dreams. He'd had friends, maybe family. The next moment, he was suddenly nothing. Just an empty shell, an empty shell with an arrow in its stomach. Nothing inside. No heart, no mind, no soul. No life.

I had killed, oh Gods, I had just killed, I was nine years old and I had just killed-

'You killed him.' War Axe's words seemed to jolt everything back to reality. 'You-' here he used a word to describe me that I didn't understand at the time, but now do, and will not write here- 'You killed him.'

My mind was in turmoil. Half of it was saying_ he would have killed you_ and the other half was saying _children aren't meant to be killers._ But most of all it was saying, _that man has an axe, and you killed his friend. He is going to try to kill you. Move. Another arrow. Now!_

I did move. We both moved at the same time. He let out a roar and ran forwards in the same instant that I reached for another arrow. I knew immediately I wasn't going to make it. He could swing that axe a lot faster than I could load my bow.

I was going to die. It was a strangely calm thought, unaccompanied by fear. Just a piece of knowledge, a feeling of unhappy resignation.

War Axe came towards me, weapon raised high in the air. And then suddenly there was another hiss and another thud, and suddenly the man seemed to trip, to fall in mid-step. His body contorted and the axe slipped from his hand. One moment he unstoppable, charging like a sabre cat, the next, he was crashing to the ground.

With an arrow in the back of his neck.

I looked up. Standing ahead of me on the path stood two figures. A black stallion. And a tall, slender woman in armour that was not quite grey, silver or black, her bowstring still vibrating with the force of the shot.

'Karliah!' My mother threw her weapon aside and raced down the slope towards me. A thousand different emotions were flitting across her face- anger, relief, concern, horror, shock, and many others, as if she wasn't sure how she was meant to react to seeing her only daughter out on the Riften road in the middle of the night with a dead bandit at her feet. I know I wouldn't be sure how to react. She reached me and threw her arms around me, her breath coming in short gasps. 'What in the name of Nocturnal are you doing here?'

'I-' Uncertain of what to say, I stopped.

'Don't you know how dangerous it is to go alone into the wilderness? Have I taught you nothing? You could have been killed! You nearly were!'

I found my tongue. 'I know I could have been killed,' I said quietly, and to my surprise I sounded a lot more composed, and a lot older, too, than I was. 'I came because I thought you had.'

My mother froze. She drew back a little, looking right into my eyes.

'Karliah,' she whispered, and for the first time in my life I felt that I was being spoken to as an adult. 'I'm sorry.'

'You just went,' I said quietly, and I felt all the anger and bitterness at her betrayal pouring out into the words. 'You weren't even going to tell me. You were just going to go. Did you do this before? Just sneak off in the middle of the night without telling me?'

'Karliah-'

'I didn't know where you'd gone or what had happened to you. Anything could have. And I wouldn't know.'

'Karliah, please. Hear me out, my little Nightingale.'

I fell silent and waited.

'Karliah, a long time ago, I made a pact with someone.' She spoke in a low voice. 'That pact gave me great gifts, but it also means I have to guard something important, with my life, if necessary. It means that if I'm summoned to its defence, I have to go. And it also swears me to secrecy. If that oath is broken…' She paused and shook her head slightly. 'It cannot be broken. I'm sorry, my love, but I can't tell you. By the Divines, how I wish I could. But I can't. It might be the death of us both.'

I bit my lip. My mother had a way of calming me down when I was angry. Nobody else has ever been able to do that. It was something about her gentle tone and choice of words. All of a sudden I no longer felt furious. I felt guilty, guilty for speaking so angrily, for allowing myself to harbour such resentment against her. I was the one that should be sorry. I muttered something incoherent. To this day I don't know what I was trying to say.

My mother turned and looked at the two dead bodies lying on the path. 'I saw you get that Orc,' she told me. 'You were very brave to do that.'

I didn't remember being brave. I just remembered being scared. 'I… I just sort of did it.'

'I understand. It was the same with me. Kill or be killed. That's the way the world works sometimes.'

She placed a hand on my shoulder. 'Don't let yourself feel guilty, Karliah. He was a murderer and a savage. Look at his bow.'

I picked it up. It was a flimsy weapon, made in the Imperial style.

'Do you see those notches carved on it?'

I nodded.

'Count them.'

I ran a finger along them. 'I make it twenty two.'

My mother took the bow from me and snapped it in half. 'That's a common thing with bandits. Every notch they make in their weapon stands for someone they killed. Twenty two spirits are at peace now, Karliah. This bandit won't be doing any more evil now, because you stopped him.'

I swallowed hard.

'I've never forgotten the first man I killed. Some people like him-' She prodded the limp corpse with her foot- 'kill for fun. But anyone with a heart remembers the people they kill, especially the ones that didn't have to die.' She sighs. 'The first kill stays with you all your life. You'll always wonder about who he was. But remember, Karliah, the twenty two innocent people who died at his hand. The people you've just avenged.'

She led me over to Dusk and helped me up onto his back. Then she mounted herself.

The first rays of the dawn sun were beginning to stretch over the tips of the mountains as we began the journey home.

That was it. No fury, no punishment for jeopardising my life. Nothing but kindness and comfort.

She was a wonderful woman, my mother.

* * *

I tell this tale as I saw it then, as a nine-year-old girl who knew next to nothing of the world in which she lived. Of course, now I bear no bitterness to the secrets she kept from me, for I know now why she kept them. If Gallus had lived, I might have been lucky enough to have a daughter or a son of my own, and I would have had to keep the secret of my Oath to Nocturnal from them, just as my mother did for me. But at the time, it felt like the ultimate betrayal.

That was the day I began to grow up. The day I started to learn about what a savage and cruel place Skyrim can be. Life is harsh sometimes. I know that better than anyone.

My mother was right. I have never forgotten the moment when I made my first kill. Again and again, I see it in my mind. Fur Cloak draws back his string. I let my arrow fly. He freezes to the spot, staring at my shaft. Then he falls, and he falls, and he falls down to Oblivion.

Since then, I've killed more times than I care to count. But only two deaths are stuck into my memory, so that I remember every detail. And one of them is the death of Fur Cloak.

I don't even know his name. I never will. But I'll always remember his face as he fell to the ground. Shock, fury, and terror.

I wonder if he was afraid of where he was going.

I'm not. I will welcome death, when it comes for me. Gallus waits for me in Evergloam, and I yearn to be at his side once again.

He was the only person I've ever told about that first kill, until now.

The story of my life, the story of anyone's life, is the story of the people in it. Gallus and my mother played an all-too-brief part in my story. But I am proud to have taken part in theirs.

I have little more to say about my childhood, for that was the day I left it behind. I had killed; my innocence was gone.

One chapter of my life ended that night. And another began.

* * *

**If you could spare a minute to review, that would be great! I always worry my head off after posting a new chapter in case it's not up to scratch, so if I could have some feedback, I would be in your debt for a LONG time. Thanks!**


	5. Family

CHAPTER FOUR

Summer had come to Skyrim.

The wind was blowing from the east, and the sky was as blue as the sea. Only a few tiny drifts of cloud, looking like fur pulled from an ice wolf's pelt, stained the heavens. The mountains seemed to sparkle in the warm noon sunlight, the snow on the highest peaks tinted yellow-gold. The trees in the forest, with their orange leaves, looked almost as if they were on fire. The breeze stirred their boughs, and it almost seemed that the wood whispered to itself, hissing about the messages the wind carried and tales of secret things.

A bull elk bent its head, tearing a clump of grass from the earth. His herd stood around him, some reaching up with their necks in order to reach the lowest leaves of the trees, others nosing around the roots in order to find grass and green shoots. A wolf watched them from the hill above, but made no move towards them. There were too many for it to take on safely.

A strange scent drifted towards the lead male of the herd on the wind. He raised his head and tasted the air, his delicate ears angling towards the direction of the smell, ready to detect the slightest of noises. The rest of the herd, seeing his movement, looked up too, eyes wide with alarm. Seeing a shadowy figure stir in a nearby thicket, the bull elk bayed a warning and turned to flee.

He never made it three strides. My arrow cut the air, burying itself in the back of his neck. With a pained bellow, he crashed to the ground, thin legs kicking and writhing in agony. The rest of the herd vanished among the trees, their white tails bobbing among the amber leaves long after the rest of their bodies had been lost to sight. The bull remained, screaming in pain as it lay on its side, kicking up earth as it thrashed about on the ground.

Unable to see him suffer, I quickly loaded another arrow and fired into his throat. His chest, which had been heaving as he struggled for air, inflated one more time as he drew in a breath he would never let out again. His legs ceased their struggle against their invisible bonds and his eyes glassed over.

I stood up from my hiding place in the thicket, eyes shining with triumph. I had done it! This was my first big kill of the summer. Up until now, I had only been able to get small prey- mostly rabbits and the occasional chicken I'd stolen from a garden. This elk would feed us for a week, and what was left over could be sold. Unfortunately… my face fell. How in the name of Oblivion was I supposed to drag this thing home?

Deciding I'd manage, somehow, I marched over to it and took hold of one leg. I gave it a sharp tug. The elk moved about a pace and a half and got stuck on a rock. I dragged it around and took a few steps forward. The elk promptly got stuck again and I fell flat on my face. Furious, I jumped to my feet and kicked it in the stomach, causing it to be knocked back the little distance that I'd managed to pull it.

'Having trouble?'

I turned and looked up the gentle rise of the hill to see my mother coming towards me, two dead rabbits hanging from her belt, the streaks of blood on their brown pelts revealing where her arrows had snatched away their lives. She jogged down the slope, reached my side and looked approvingly at the dead elk. 'A good kill.'

I grinned and looked at the ground, trying not to show how pleased with myself I was. 'It was easier than I expected. I was downwind, and I had good cover.'

'Maybe, but there aren't many people with only twelve years of experience who could take down a fully-grown bull elk. You should be proud of yourself.'

I was. She didn't need to tell me. But the problem of how to move the thing still persisted.

Seeing my predicament, my mother chuckled as she pulled out her long hunting knife and used it to cut a long, straight branch from a nearby tree. 'The wise thief does not over-encumber themselves with burdens that are too heavy for them to bear. Lightly loaded means light on your feet.' She was forever spouting rules like that. I have never forgotten a single one, and believe me, there were a great many.

'Enough and no more, yes, I know,' I sighed.

She smiled. 'I'm only teasing. This was a great achievement, Karliah.'

She took the elk's legs and started to tie them to the branch. Instantly I wondered why I hadn't thought of that. Well, I was learning all the time, I thought ruefully.

Together, we heaved our makeshift pole onto our shoulders and began the journey back to our home, the limp form of my kill swaying gently on the pole between us. As we went, I dwelled on what she had said. It was strange, the way she was constantly churning out advice and instructions. As if she was preparing me for something. But what for? And where had she learnt it all? There was far too much for Drayven Indoril, old as he had been, to have taught her in the final years of his life. And some of it was the sort of thing you couldn't possibly pick up from the teachings of an old man. And as for that which she had learned from him- where had he been taught? Who by?

'Mother, where did you learn all that?'

'All what?'

'All those rules and so on. I know your father taught you. But who taught him?'

'What a sensible question.' My mother swapped the pole from her left shoulder to her right to balance its weight before answering. 'My father learned from the people who know all there is to know about the art of the honourable thief. The same people who completed my teaching, and will one day complete yours.'

So she _was _preparing me for something, I thought. 'Who was that?'

She glanced around furtively. We were nearing the village. 'It's not the sort of thing one can talk about freely,' she said quietly.

I understood and nodded. Clearly whatever or whoever she meant to tell me about wasn't for all ears.

As we made our way back through the village, I saw a few heads turn curiously in our direction. The blacksmith, Filnjar, raised his head from the steel sword he was sharpening on his grindstone as we passed. 'Nice catch, Dralsi,' he called.

'Thank you, but it was my daughter,' she corrected him with a smile. I felt myself glow slightly on the inside.

Filnjar raised his eyebrows, looking admiring but surprised. I couldn't blame him. You could be forgiven for thinking that a twelve-year-old Dunmer who _still,_ to my extreme irritation,was as short as she had been when she was nine, would be completely unable to fire a bow with enough force to kill an adult male elk. Still, the proof was dangling on a pole in front of me, and it wasn't half heavy, too.

We reached our house and my mother pulled the two dead rabbits from her belt and threw them to one side. Then she lodged the pole that bore our prize between two tree branches before pulling out her dagger. I sighed as I drew my own. I knew it was necessary, but this was the one downside of hunting- the long, tedious process of skinning and gutting the catch. It would take hours to fully prepare a kill like this, but it was one of my mother's rules. Never waste anything. When an animal gives its life for you, use it with honour. Almost every part of a creature can be used. The meat can be eaten, the pelt made into leather or clothing. The bones can be used for almost anything, if you put your mind to it- fishhooks, knife handles, whistles, needles, even arrowheads if you're desperate. Sinew can be used for thread, if you've nothing else to hand. And as this was an elk, there were the antlers, too- they would fetch a good price. If you put a dead creature to good use, my mother was constantly saying, you honour its memory, and thank it properly for giving its life for you.

If it was dead, I often thought to myself, it wouldn't have a clue whether or not you used it properly, but it was my mother's rule and I stuck to it all my life.

As we set about our work, my mother turned her head to me, and started to speak in a low voice. 'The people who I'm about to tell you about have been teaching thieves from the Indoril bloodline for as long as anyone can remember. I learned from them, my father learned from them, as did his father before him. One day, you'll learn from them too. They're very seldom seen, but they control Skyrim a lot more than the High King does. From the shadows, in the maze of danger that is Skyrim's underworld, they steal and cheat, they pick pockets and locks, they manipulate and make decisions that have shaped all of Tamriel for centuries. Some people think of them as nothing but a gang of organised criminals. But they are far, far more than that. They are the Thieves Guild.'

I drank in her every word, hungry for all the knowledge she could give me. As a child, I loved few things more than to learn about the world from my mother.

'They are exactly what their name says- a Guild of thieves. But they're not ordinary bandits. They're not the usual cutpurses, highwaymen and robbers that menace the roads and attack innocent travellers.' I swallowed, remembering Fur Cloak and War Axe. 'They're not a gang, they're a Guild, and that's what makes the difference.'

I frowned, not really knowing what the difference was, but waited patiently as I could for her to explain it.

'Unlike bandit gangs, they've got a real sense of family. They're a very tightly knitted group. And they've got a hierarchy, an order that a bandit group could never hope to have. There's the Guildmaster- the leader of the Guild, the one who makes all the most important decisions and controls the movements of the members. The current one's an Argonian, name of Draws-His-Blade, Blade for short. I learned a lot from him in the time I spent under his leadership. He's trustworthy and dependable, undyingly loyal to his Guild. He's a master thief, too- what he doesn't know about getting past a locked door and sneaking away with the contents of someone's pocket isn't worth knowing. Most importantly of all, he keeps his wits just as sharp as his sword, and sharper. But he's getting on a bit now. Last I heard, he was considering stepping down. He's done a lot for the Guild, but not even the most powerful Guildmaster of all can hope to turn back time. I assume he'll retire in a few years' time.'

'So who'll take his place?'

'The second in command, naturally. If you want to picture the Guild properly, Karliah, you need to think of it as not a group of people, but as a single person. The Guildmaster is the head, the brain, the maker of decisions. The rest of the body carries out the order the brain gives them, yes? So every Guildmaster has a strong right hand, a deputy, to see that the Guildmaster's orders are carried out and to support his leader in everything he does.'

'And the others?'

'The others… well, everyone has a left hand to back up and support the right hand, hmm? Those are the senior members- the ones who have the most experience and have been in the Guild longest. Then there are the arms and the legs, as it were, the people who do the largest portion of the work. Those are all the newcomers, the inexperienced members who are still learning. So you can see already that this isn't a band of mercenaries that got above themselves. The Thieves Guild has a way of life and a code of honour that the people who brand them as common bandits couldn't possibly imagine.'

She tossed me one of the dead rabbits, and I slit its belly with a deft flick of my knife in order to start cleaning it. 'Not many people realise it, but the Guild is crucial in the life of every man, elf or beast who walks on the surface of Nirn. Up in Solitude, recently, the High King gave a speech about how he aimed to stamp out all thieves and robbers in Skyrim. What I expect he didn't realise is who supplied his jewellers with the gold and precious stones for his crown, or his masons and builders with the wood and stone for his palace, or his tailors with the fabric for his robes, even provided his officers with the money that helped to train his guards. The Guild aren't just thieves, they're businessmen too, entrepreneurs. They're the very meaning of opportunism. They're based in Riften, and it's common knowledge that the power in Riften isn't the Jarl but the Black-Briar family. Who helps eliminate any opposition to the Black-Briars? The Guild. Who buys their mead and sells it on? The Guild. Who sells the Black-Briars practically all of the ingredients they use to make their mead? The Guild. And who, therefore, benefits when the Black-Briars do well?'

'The Guild,' I predicted.

'Exactly. See Filnjar over there? If you asked him if he had any links with the Guild, he'd deny it. In fact, he'd probably put a fist in your nose. But he buys his steel from a company based in Windhelm that just happens to be funded by Draws-His-Blade and his men. The mine just out of town sells quite a lot of the ore it produces to the same company, and they sell it on to the Grey-Mane family in Whiterun, who use it to make the weapons for the Companions. The Companions are sworn enemies of the Guild, but what they don't know is that their weapons couldn't have been made without the help of some of their bitterest rivals. People complain about the Dark Brotherhood, but nobody batted an eyelid when a group of bandit marauders found a deadly poison mixed in with their drinking water near Markath two months ago. And guess who supplied the poison? The Guild. They stole it from Arcadia's Cauldron in Whiterun. If by some disaster the Jarl of Riften managed to pull her act together and get them in jail- which isn't going to happen any time soon- you'd find half of Skyrim collapsed.'

A link was suddenly made inside my mind. 'When you… went off… when I was nine, did you go to see the Guild?'

'Yes and no.' There was an uncomfortable silence, as there always was when that night was mentioned. I decided not to question this. With years had come experience, and I had long since learned not to delve too deeply into my mother's mysterious answers to my questions. I was finally beginning to accept that she would tell me such things when the time was right. I had learned my lesson from that night three years ago, when I had questioned her judgement and nearly been killed for my pains.

'So… are you with the Guild?'

'I used to be.' My mother gave a long sigh. 'But after I met your father, I had to leave. It's not unknown for married men and women to be guild members, but it's hard, unless of course they're in the Guild together. And the Ragged Flagon, the Guild's home, is no place to bring up a child.' She smiled at me.

'Did my father mind?'

'No, he understood the importance of the Guild's place in Skyrim. I loved the Guild, but I loved him more, and when the time came to choose between them, there was only ever one choice, really. Blade and the others understood. And Elrandor loved me all the more for leaving behind the people I had come to think of as my family in order to be with him.'

Elrandor. My father. I wish that I could tell you more of him. Unfortunately, I cannot. It would be a lie to say I never knew him. I did know him, and he knew me. But he died when I was so young I cannot picture his face or remember the sound of his voice. I have only one memory of him, a single scene that plays again and again in my mind whenever I think of him. I am outside the house. He opens the door. I run to him. He laughs as he picks me up and spins me round, holding me high above his head. I squeal with delight. He sets me down and we walk into our house together, my tiny hand clasped in his.

One memory. It's not much, but I value it more than I do the most valuable jewels in the world. And having actually held the world's most valuable jewels in my hand, I know which one I would rather have. Money cannot buy you memories. Treasure cannot purchase love.

'One day, if you so wish, you yourself will take my place in the Guild.' My mother closed her eyes for a second, as if remembering secrets long lost to the passage of the seasons. 'They will finish the teaching I have begun. You have talent that will be invaluable to them, and they have knowledge that will be just as priceless to you.' She smiled. 'If you do choose to join them, they will give you so much. Be sure that you give just as much and more back.'

'I will.' Already, what she had told me had fired my imagination. This Guild sounded like the ideal place for me to find my destiny. I couldn't think of any other place I would rather be.

My mother smiled again. 'I know you will. Nothing but good will come from them having someone like you in their ranks.'

I looked towards the south, where Riften lay beyond the wall of flame-coloured trees. 'How long before I can go?'

'Soon, soon. But the training I can give you is not yet complete, you know. There's still much for me to teach you. When the time is right for you to go, we'll know. We'll both know.'

My mother paused and got to her feet, walking over to the door. She pointed to a small symbol carved on the doorframe. 'I don't suppose you've ever noticed that before.'

I frowned, leaning in for a closer look. She was right, I hadn't, or if I had I had never given it a second look. It was a diamond shape, with two overlapping circles on the outer points. I ran my finger along the narrow lines that formed the shape. 'No, I've never seen it.'

'It's not the sort of thing that's meant to be noticed,' she admitted. 'In fact, it's meant for people to not to notice it unless they're looking for it. Even if a passer-by does happen to see it, ten to one they won't know what it means. In fact, the odds are a lot more than ten to one they won't understand it.'

'It's something to do with the Guild,' I guessed.

'Very much so. It's called a Shadowmark. Shadowmarks are symbols like this one that Guild members leave as signals to other people in their organisation in order to give them information about the place where the mark is carved. The most famous, or perhaps the most infamous, has become the mark of the Guild. A diamond with a circle inside.'

'I've seen that one before,' I told her. 'It's carved onto your bow.'

'Indeed it is. That's to show it belongs to a Guild member and isn't to be stolen. Shadowmarks are vitally important to us. For example, we make the 'loot' Shadowmark when we find a place that contains valuables, and we leave the 'empty' Shadowmark outside a place that has nothing inside worth stealing. That was you don't take the time and effort to break into a house only to find that the only valuable thing its owners possess is a half-eaten sweetroll.'

'So it's a bit like a secret code?'

'It is a secret code. This particular Shadowmark-' She tapped it- 'means, 'protected.' Anyone whose place of residence has this sign outside it is under the Guild's protection. If a Guild member were to break into our house and steal something, they'd be in big trouble with Blade if they were found out.'

There was a sudden flutter of wings from above my head, and a chirping call rang out from above me. I looked up to see a small speckled bird with pale brown feathers settle on the topmost branch of the tree on which we'd hung our kill. My mother looked at it in surprise. 'Now, there's something you don't see every day.'

'A small speckly brown thing?'

'It's a pine thrush. They very rarely come so close to people.' A slow smile spread across her face. 'Funny, really, that one should turn up now. To Guild members, pine thrushes are meant to bring good luck.'

'Why's that?'

'It's because they're so shy. If you've bungled a burglary and you've got the entire city guard on your tail, then usually the only sensible thing to do is hide and pray you're not discovered. If you see a pine thrush while you're hiding, it means there's nobody else in the area, and the guards have given up the chase. They usually fly away at the first sign of people, you see.' She grinned and dipped her hand into the leather pouch at her belt. 'Though I think I know why this one hasn't. Must've seen me put these inside here. They can be remarkably brave, if there's food to be had.'

She tossed a small nut up to the tree, and the thrush caught it deftly in its beak. I laughed as it swallowed it and looked down at us, clearly begging for more.

Instead of reaching for another nut, my mother quietly whistled the first few lines of a song she used to sing to me when I was very young. The thrush listened intently, then tipped its head on one side and imitated the notes perfectly. I felt myself grinning in amused pleasure.

My mother nodded to me. 'You try.'

I looked up at the bird and met its beady black eyes. I've never been able to whistle, so instead I sang the following line of the song. The thrush hopped down a few branches and copied me, chirping the tune in a reedy, piping voice. Delighted, I continued with the verse, my voice, soft with youth, mingling with the flutelike call of the little bird.

As I finished, I heard it take up the song, and then something happened which I have never forgotten. There was a rush of wings, and a second thrush dropped from the sky to land beside the first. It paused for a moment, then it started to chirrup my tune along with the first, its slightly deeper tones harmonising beautifully with the shrill voice of its companion.

'Well, I never.' My mother looked up at the two little birds with amazement. 'In all my years, I've never seen anything like that before.'

'Is that unusual?'

'Very much so. I've never heard of it happening before now. My father taught me to sing to the pine thrushes, but that never happened with him.' She ruffled my hair fondly. 'You must be even more special than we thought, if you can charm the birds from the trees with your singing.'

I looked doubtfully at the two brown-flecked birds perched high above me. For the briefest of seconds we gazed into each other's eyes, then they both spread their wings and lifted away into the air, flying over my head and vanishing among the trees.

I watched them go. Two tiny brown specks against a blue sky and amber trees.

My mother smiled and knelt down to continue with our work. As she did, she murmured something I have always assumed she didn't expect me to hear. Something I did not understand for many, many years.

'You're going to make a wonderful Nightingale.'

* * *

**Thanks again to everyone who's still reading, and to all those who've reviewed!**

**The bit about the Shadowmarks is true. As for the birds, there are birds called pine thrushes in Skyrim, because you can find pine thrush eggs to use in alchemy, but you never actually see the bird itself, so I used artistic licence creating it. In case anyone's interested (though I doubt it) I based the thrush's song imitation on an experience I had myself a few years ago which was really kind of funny and I've wanted to write about ever since. (The bird started imitating car alarms!) Anyway, I decided it would be a nice touch to make Karliah a good singer. It's going to play a major part in the story later, and I think it suits her character. What do you guys think?**

**So, I hope you enjoyed this chapter… the bad news is I won't be able to get any writing done for a few days as I'm going away. I promise to work at double speed when I get back!**


	6. Farewell

CHAPTER FIVE

It was raining. Again.

Rain is something you have to live with in Skyrim, whether it's relentless floods pouring from the sky as if the heavens have been torn open by an unseen hand and an ocean is falling through the hole, pathetic spurts of drizzle that blow into you in great wet waves, or a mixture of rain and snow and hail that soaks you and freezes you and batters you into a pulp at the same time. Some days, the rain is so forceful it bounces twice as it hits the ground. Others, it's hardly worthy of being called rain. Wet air would be a more accurate description.

This time, it was the sort of rain that teases you. The sort of rain that suddenly drops from the sky in a huge showery sheet, drenching you for a few seconds, then shutting off as abruptly as it appeared. For a few minutes, the warm rays of the sun beat down upon me from where I crouched under the boughs of a pine tree, partially evaporating the wetness from my skin, hair and clothes. Then the heavens opened again and the rain came hammering down. Instantly I lost any small amount of dryness I had acquired.

Irritated, I stood up. There was no point waiting for the rain to stop; I could see that immediately. The sky was mottled in grey and white, without a speck of blue to be seen. It looked like the Divines had draped the pelt of a snowy sabre cat across it and pinned it in place. This weather was going to last the entire day. I let out a small groan of frustration. It had been raining a week now, which was only to be expected in the month of Rain's Hand. The ground had turned into a sticky brown sludge of mud and the leaves of the trees were so sodden they crumbled away in my hand when I touched one. The roads were more like rivers and it had almost become a physical impossibility to walk anywhere. You either waded or you slid.

Deciding that the only approach was to just get out and get wet, I stepped out from under the partial shelter of the tree. Instantly I was bombarded by a barrage of raindrops that struck me so hard they almost hurt. Wincing, I ducked back under the tree and hit my head on a branch. The tree instantly shed every raindrop clinging to it onto me.

Angrily, I kicked the ground. This wasn't working. I'd been tracking the bear for a night and a day and hadn't seen hide nor hair of it. It had come in the night and attacked Arjmund, a young boy from the village. It had chased him off into the darkness and neither he nor his attacker hadn't been seen since. I'd set out to find the boy and kill the bear, but the rain was covering their tracks. I was beginning to consider giving up and going home, but I had promised my mother, and the rest of the village, that I would not return without Arjmund and the pelt of the bear as proof of my victory. And I was never a one to break my promises.

Failure was not an option, I told myself firmly. I had sworn to find the child and kill the bear and I would. I shook my head at my own incompetence and strode out into the rain. _You're not a little girl any longer, Karliah, _I chided myself as I studied the ground for signs of the creature I was following. _You're a young woman now. Won't be long before you're leaving home. So act your age! Are you going to be put off by a bit of rain?_

_It's more than a bit of rain, _the rebellious part of me complained mentally, but I ignored it and carried on my search. I could do better than this. I knew about tracking. I'd been too wrapped up in the misery and despondency that the rain was causing me to think straight. Now I narrowed my eyes and fixed my mind on my mission. I swept my gaze around my surroundings, and it came to rest upon a small snowberry bush. Crouching, I saw that several branches were broken and a couple of the bright red berries were crushed slightly. My eyes flicked over to a long, thick brown hair caught on a twig. I pulled it free and felt the corners of my mouth twitch in a smile. Finally, things were going my way. This was from the bear's pelt.

I tossed it aside and examined the ground. There was a large indent in the mud near the foot of the bush, with smaller holes in front of it. Marks, I realised instantly, made by the bear's heavy paw and sharp claws. I straightened up and took a half-pace forward, hoping to find another print. I wasn't disappointed. This one was much clearer and, I deduced from the way the edges were still firm, relatively fresh. The bear couldn't have been here more than a few minutes ago.

I started to walk forward, eyes fixed on the ground, just as I had tracked the path of my mother all those years ago. It seemed like a lifetime had passed since then. I had more than doubled in age and more than tripled in experience, knowledge, and wisdom. Under my mother's patient guidance, I had learned that I could stand right in front of someone and pick their pocket without them seeing me, if I had a mind to. I could pick a lock so quickly and skilfully that my mother couldn't see me do it, even if she watched me. I could take out a butterfly on the wing from long range. I could brew a poison so deadly that it could kill within a few seconds.

But despite all her kindness, despite all my eagerness to learn all that I possibly could, there had been a feeling in the air between myself and my mother of late. Something I had never felt before. It was a feeling of separation. We could tell, both of us could, though neither of us was imprudent enough to say it aloud, that our time together was drawing to a close. It would not be long before I had learned all that I could from her. And then it would be time for me to leave. It was strange. I didn't want to go, but I did. I loved my mother. She was the only living person in the world that I loved. Whenever I thought of leaving her, my heart broke a little. But I was no longer a child. I had left my youth and innocence behind such a long time ago I no longer remembered what innocence felt like. I felt like a fledgling bird, itching to try out my new wings yet terrified to leave the nest for fear that I should fall and smash myself to pieces on the ground below.

But that was the thing about taking leaps of faith. You came to the edge and were too scared to jump. Then you summoned up the courage and leaped out into the air, with nothing to support you. If you believed you would fall, you would fall. And if you were not too badly injured, maybe you could climb up the cliff again and jump a second time. But if you believed, then you would not fall. You would fly.

Another of my mother's lessons.

The pattering on the leaves around me ceased. I felt myself smiling a second time. Finally some things at least were going my way. Shaking water droplets from my eyes, I looked up ahead and followed the trail of prints with my eyes up to a large tree. There were four deep lines scored down the trunk, still oozing sap. Bear claw marks. And they were fresh. I was getting close.

I pulled out my bow and jogged the way up the crest of the hill, scanning the landscape for the shaggy, boulder-like form of the bear. Surely it had to be close now. It was impossible for something as big as it to hide from me.

I reached the top of the hill and stopped dead.

_What in Oblivion?_

I had to look at the scene below me twice. Once to see it. A second time to understand what I was seeing.

And the moment I realised, my eyes widened in horror.

The few rays of the sun that were able to peer through the clouds shone on the crumbling stonework of a partially collapsed fortress. It huddled at the base of the cliff like a malevolent wolf, sheltering from the relentless torrent pouring from the skies. Four towers reared upwards like eerie watchmen, light glinting through their windows like unblinking eyes. A fifth lay in ruins. The dark clusters of pines that surrounded it swayed gently back and forth in the light breeze, stroking the sky as if it were a cat. The shadows they cast on the keep cloaked it in crazy patterns of brightness and darkness.

Squinting at the scene, I was able to make out a host of men and women scurrying like ants down in the courtyard of the keep. Quietly, slowly, as noiselessly as was possible, I started to inch my way down the hill until I was standing at the foot of one of the trees. Putting away my bow, I grabbed hold of the lowest branch and hauled myself up. Being careful to move quickly and quietly, so as not to attract unwanted attention, I clambered up the boughs of the pine until I was standing on a branch that overhung the top of the nearest tower. Lying flat on my stomach, I started to pull myself forward until I had a clear view of what was going on below.

They were bandits. It was clear from the first moment. Everything about them was a ragged patchwork. Their armour was scruffy and mismatched- odd pieces of leather, hide, fur and the occasional iron breastplate or helmet. Their weapons, too, were mixed and cheap- badly made swords and axes, along with a few bows. Even their races were like a crazy stew of men, elves and beasts- Nords, a few Bretons, Redguards, at least one of all the elven races, and a single Argonian. But they all had one thing in common, and that was that the gaze of each and every one of them was fixed on a wooden post at the front of the courtyard. A post to which was bound a Nord child of not more than ten years.

And this was what had made my breath catch in my throat as I saw it. I hadn't been sure at first. But now that my view was unimpaired, I realised with grim certainty that I had been right.

It was Arjmund. The child who had been chased away by the bear. It was all too painfully clear what had happened. The luckless boy had been pursued into the night and become lost. He must have tried to find his way back to the village and found his way into the welcoming arms of the bandits instead. And now he was a prisoner. My blood began to boil. I knew from experience that bandits had no mercy to spare for children, no matter how young. The only fate that awaited Arjmund was death- unless I stepped in.

And I would. There was no way in a million years I was going to let these fiends murder an innocent boy.

The leader of the group, a Redguard man with his matted black hair hanging out from behind his dented iron helmet, was circling the wooden post, prodding Arjmund with the tip of his sword. I was just able to catch his cruel, jeering words, carried towards me on the breeze.

'You picked a bad time to get lost, kid. Long way from mummy, aren't we?'

'Well, I am,' Arjmund replied. I wasn't sure whether he was being cocky, defiant, cheeky, stupid or very, very brave. 'I can't speak for you.'

A few of the bandits laughed, but not from amusement. The Redguard bent down to the boy's level, grinning evilly into his face. 'Ooh, we're a smart one, aren't we?'

'I am,' Arjmund repeated himself, grinning. 'You're not, though.'

The bandit leader spat onto the ground and swung forward with his hand, catching the child in the face. His yelp of pain made me stiffen with anger. What sort of heartless son of a skeever hits a defenceless child? I tugged myself to the end of the branch and silently dropped onto the tower, unsheathing my bow as I did so. I crept forward and crouched behind the battlements, waiting for the right moment.

The leader straightened up and turned to his ragtag bunch of followers. 'How do you think we kill him? Nice and quick, or slow and painful?'

One of the Bretons punched the air with his sword. 'Stick him in the chest and see how long it takes for him to bleed out!'

'High-pitched screams are always the most satisfying.' A Bosmer woman licked the edge of her knife.

The leader let out a nasty chuckle and held up his sword. 'If you're going to wet yourself, kid, now's the time.'

I will not tell you what he said next, what he was about to do to Arjmund. That memory will be my own private nightmare, one that I will take with me to my grave.

Arjmund glared back in response, but I could see that he was shaking and his face was drained of blood. Fury overtook me completely. Before I could even blink, I had drawn an arrow from my quiver and it was slicing through the air faster than the eye could follow.

The Redguard man twirled his sword around in his hand and took a step forward. Then suddenly he stopped. His hand released his blade and it fell to the ground. He let out a sigh, as if tired, and sunk to the ground, unmoving. A trickle of blood started to flow from where my arrow had pierced his throat right through.

Arjmund had closed his eyes and turned his head away, waiting for the blow to fall. When it did not, he lifted his eyelids a fraction. Then his eyes shot wide open, taking in the dead bandit at his feet with shock and confusion. His gaze travelled from the bandit, to the arrow, to the other men and women, who were standing around him, their eyes fixed on their dead leader.

'Chief?' The Breton took a half step forward. My bowstring sang out again, a song that heralded death. The man crumpled in mid-pace, falling backwards onto the ground.

The realisation began to dawn in the tiny minds of the bandits that they were under attack. Arrows were fitted to strings; spells were charged up, and swords were pulled from their sheaths. I picked my next target carefully- the Wood Elf woman, who was standing a little apart from the others, her full body exposed. She dropped without a sound. Her comrades looked around wildly for their attacker for a few seconds- a few seconds in which the _twang _of my weapon rang out again in the air, followed by the agonised scream of a Nord man as he clutched his chest and toppled like a tree in a strong gale.

By a stroke of ill fortune, the Argonian glanced up in time to see the direction that the arrow came from. He looked sharply up at the tower and saw me standing there before I could duck out of sight. 'There!' he roared, firing a lightning bolt spell that I only just dodged. It struck the stone wall, scattering bits of stone and particles of crackling electricity through the air. The bandits started moving at once, sprint towards the steps that led to the tower. I remained where I was, calmly taking out an Altmer woman who bent down to pull the lever that lowered the bridge that led the way from the base of the tower where she stood to the stairs. The next to go was another Nord, gone before he saw my shot coming. I watched them fall and felt no remorse. I had learned over the years that I was simply avenging the lives of many innocents with these kills.

The first few bandits were beginning to reach the stairs up to the tower where I was sniping from. I spun around on my heel and fired twice in quick succession, sending two of them rolling back down the stairs. The Argonian was the first to make it up. He raced towards me with a spell crackling in one hand and his blade raised high in the other. Without time to draw another arrow, I pulled back the hand that held my bow and brought it forwards with all my strength, smashing it into his neck. He staggered backwards and fell, his horned head hitting the stone wall with a loud clack. He slumped, either unconscious or dead. The next to reach me was a Dunmer like myself. I couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness as I sent an arrow into his throat, but it was gone instantly. He would have killed a ten year old boy. He deserved no pity from me.

The rest of the gang was closing in and my bow was a weapon for long ranges. I needed to put some distance between them and me if I was to survive. I glanced down at the tower behind me and a grin flickered over my face.

To the bandits, it must have seemed either that I tried to commit suicide or that I simply vanished. I took two steps backwards and let myself fall back over the edge of the turret. Down I plunged, the air whipping past me, my attackers staring after me in disbelief… straight onto the back of a horse standing beneath the tower.

It reared up with a shrill whinny of terror, but I had only needed it to break my fall. Muttering an apology to it under my breath, I slid off its back and raced over to the wooden post, pulling out my dagger. I reached Arjmund in a few seconds and slashed through his bonds. He shook away the cut ropes and stumbled unsteadily forwards, rubbing his wrists to get the blood flowing in them again. 'Karliah?' he said uncertainly, looking up at me.

His confusion was only natural, I guessed. My mother and I kept ourselves apart from the other villagers, and though they all knew our names they knew nothing about who we really were. I was probably the last person Arjmund expected to come to his rescue. I nodded shortly and whipped around to face the bandits that were beginning to make their way down the stairs to confront me. They were sitting ducks. I had already halved their numbers and they were completely in the open. They didn't stand a chance. Six of them fell before they even made it to the bottom of the stairs. The remaining four ran towards me with their faces masks of hatred, but not one of them even got near to me. Two fell to arrows; the third ran too close to the maddened horse and was rewarded by the receiving of the animal's front hooves meeting in his skull with a nasty crunching sound. The final bandits hesitated, clearly unsure about taking me on when his entire gang lay dead around him, and that was all the time that was needed for Arjmund, on the spur of the moment, to reach down and pull the dagger from the belt of the dead bandit leader. He hurled it through the air and into the final man's chest. He collapsed onto the floor with a shriek of agony. It was simple for me to reach into my quiver and draw what I suddenly realised was my final arrow and shoot it into his throat.

I returned my bow to its holder on my back and Arjmund let out a huge groan, as if he had been holding his breath for at least an hour. 'Thanks,' he muttered weakly, his face pale as he looked at the dead man who lay on the ground in front of him, the dagger still protruding from his chest.

_First kill, _I thought. Even though it had been my arrow that ended the man's life, it had been Arjmund who had thrown the knife that rendered him helpless. His face was pale, but there was a hardness glinting in the boy's eyes. It was only too obvious that he was struggling with the concept of the ending of a man's life, yet knowing what his fate would have been without the deaths of the bandits prevented him from feeling anything more than a small amount of guilt. Yet the shock of the moment was clear and stark on his face, and I hastened to step up to him and gently place an arm around his shoulder. 'Was that the first time you ever killed?'

'I've killed before,' he muttered. 'Wolves. Deer. But…' He trailed off the end of the sentence, and I saw tears threatening him.

'But it's not the same,' I finished for him. 'I understand. I was a year younger than you when I killed for the first time.'

He blinked up at me, surprise showing in his eyes. I shrugged. 'It was another bandit, one who would have killed me if I hadn't struck first. It's stayed with me all my life. But you have to be brave, Arjmund. Don't grieve for that man. You live with the knowledge that you were courageous and strong and fearless, everything he wasn't. You stay strong. You go on.'

His blue eyes shone with hope and determination, and I felt my heart cry out from deep inside me and snap in two. Because that was the moment when I knew it had happened. I had grown up. It seemed like only yesterday, and yet like a million years ago, that my mother had said such a similar thing to me. I had truly left behind the part of me that was a child. And that meant the happy, carefree seasons with my mother were drawing to a close. It was a feeling of finality, yet there was freedom accompanying it. I felt as if the nest had given way beneath me and I was desperately flapping my wings, knowing that I had no choice now but to fly.

I turned away from the child, so that he would not see the tears brimming in my eyes.

That was when I heard it. A low, rumbling growl that made the air hum with a deadly threat. Slowly, my head turned, taking in brown fur and white teeth and eyes that glinted with bloodlust.

Brilliant. Absolutely fantastic. On top of everything else, I'd found the bear.

My hand flew to my quiver, desperate for an arrow, but a low groan escaped me when I realised I had not a single one left. I pulled out my dagger, but it was more to make Arjmund feel that I was going to defend him than as a weapon to use against the beast. A dagger to kill a full grown bear would be like trying to kill a Chaurus with a bunch of flowers.

The bear gave a snarl and took a pace forward. Then it broke into a charge without warning. I threw my dagger, striking it in the side. It halted its run with a pained growl, and spun around. For a moment hope fluttered like a bird inside me. Was it retreating, deciding that this meal was putting up too much of a fight to be worth it? But then my heart sank as I realised it was simply racing up the stairs to the walltops, ready to leap upon us from above.

I looked at the walls and the wooden drawbridge that connected them, and an opportunity occurred to me.

'Follow me!' I shouted to Arjmund, and he obeyed, clearly at a loss for anything else to do. I sprinted up the flight of steps and readied myself next to the lever that operated the drawbridge. The bear, on the other side of the wooden contraption, saw me facing him.

Several things happened very quickly.

The bear charged a second time.

Arjmund yelled and leaped backwards.

The creature's paws started to thump on the wooden slats of the bridge.

I bent down and hurled my weight against the lever.

A weight dropped, a pulley tugged on a rope. The bridge snapped upwards with a creak and a bang.

And the bear was hurled into the air as if from a catapult.

It was almost comical, how it sailed through the air in a crazy arc, limbs flailing madly. It looked more like a broken toy than a ravenous beast. I heard its final, panic-stricken bellow as it struck the unyielding stone side of the tower.

There was a sickening crunching, snapping sound as its bones shattered. Then it tumbled down through the air, limp, lifeless, and suddenly terribly pathetic-looking. It landed with a thud on the ground at the base of the tower, rolled over twice, and lay still.

I allowed a long sigh of relief to escape me, one which Arjmund echoed. 'That was _wicked,' _he whispered, staring in awe at the dead form of the bear. 'It was like… _ker-SPLAT!' _He mimed the bridge throwing the bear into the air with his arms, exhilaration and reverence replacing his earlier shock.

Ker-splat. Right. When a bear is thrown into a tower by a bridge catapult, it goes ker-splat. I decided I'd bear that in mind.

'Come on. It's a long way home,' I told him, fighting back a grin.

We headed for the gates, his excited babble sending birds fluttering up from the trees as we went. 'And those bandits! You just _annihilated _them! It was just awesome! And then you hurl that bear from the bridge, smash, like that…'

The rain started to patter on the stone walls behind us, quickly turning from a drizzle to a torrent, washing the blood of my fallen foes over the muddy earth and far, far away.

* * *

The return journey was indeed a long one, and dawn was breaking after a night spent in the wilderness by the time we saw the thatched roofs of the cluster of houses that was Shor's Stone rising above the tops of the trees. Arjmund let out a whoop of exultation and raced towards them, and I ran after him, a smile creeping over my face as I saw his mother and father stop and turn at the sound of his cry. I watched their expressions change- from confusion to hope to disbelief to pure, unbridled joy. They broke into a run, and the rest of the village broke out cheering and clapping as Arjmund covered the last distance and threw himself into their arms.

His mother sobbed, his father simply closed his eyes and held on tight as if he would never let go, the spectators applauded, and Arjmund started speaking so fast I had to struggle to make out the words. 'It was Karliah, she saved me, I got caught by bandits and they were going to kill me, but she stopped them, and then she threw the bear from the bridge, ker-splat, like that.' The last part was spoken so rapidly it was more like a single word.

His parents looked at me with tears in their eyes, their faces showing an unreadable mix of perplexity, amazement, wonder, joy and gratitude. I shrugged.

'Just doing my duty.'

There was silence for a moment. Then the cheering began again, sending the birds up from the trees, screeching in alarm, echoing and re-echoing off the hills, rising up in tumult to the clouds.

* * *

My mother and I stood alone. The sun was high in the sky above our heads, and from a tree nearby I could hear the piping song of a pine thrush imitating the cooing of a nearby pigeon. The wind slowly ruffled the grass, sending waves through it that made it look like a leafy green ocean.

I glanced up at my mother. She was looking straight ahead, to where the wispy clouds were scattered across the hilly horizon, to where the amber-leaved trees swayed in the breeze like a sea of flames. Despite my attempts to catch her eye, she refused to look at me. I let out a small sigh and clasped my hands together, my fingers fiddling nervously. There was a feeling of uncertainty in the air, a strange doubt that I had never felt before. It was as if someone had dug a canyon between the two of us, one that could not possibly be crossed. It frightened me- in fact, it terrified me. I had never before felt so separate from my mother in all my life.

It was a long time before either of us spoke. And when my mother did speak, there was undisguised sorrow in her voice. 'It's time,' she said, so softly the words were almost inaudible.

I nodded. 'I know.'

'You're ready. I knew you were ready the moment I saw you returning with Arjmund. I've taught you all I can.' She smiled sadly. 'And I've learned all I can from you.'

'I don't want to leave.' The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. Childlike though they sounded, they were true.

'I don't want you to leave either. But neither of us has any choice any longer. Our seasons together have run their course.'

She turned and looked at me. Red met indigo. 'You won't forget what I've taught you, will you?'

'Never,' I vowed forcefully.

'I know. I trust you, my little Nightingale.'

There was silence for a moment, until she spoke again. 'Do you remember when you were a child? I taught you the first law of thievery.'

'Enough and no more,' I said instantly.

'Indeed. And do you remember how there was a second rule which I promised to teach you when I knew you were ready?'

'Yes.' I blinked up at her.

She said nothing for a long moment. There was no disguising the deep sadness in her voice as she whispered the words. 'You are ready now. What you did today was a great and fearless thing. And so I have two gifts for you.'

She reached up and pulled her bow from her back. I stared in disbelief as she held it out to me. 'It's yours now,' she told me firmly. 'I have little further need for it. This bow has been passed down through our family for years. One day the time will come when you too will pass it on, perhaps to a daughter or son of your own. But for now, it belongs in your hands.'

Scarcely able to believe it, I reach out and picked it up. It almost seemed to tremble as I grasped it, as if rejoicing at this union with a new bearer. I ran my hand down its sleek, curved form, tracing the silver spirals engraved into it with my fingers, holding it up so that the sunlight gleamed on its shining black surface. For a few seconds I simply stared at it; then I pulled off my own bow and held it out to my mother. She took it with a smile, a smile that danced in her eyes as well as on her face.

'Thank you. I'll be glad to have something of yours with me in the days to come. And now for the second gift.' She closed her eyes. 'I cannot teach you how to do this, as I can teach you how to pick a pocket and walk unseen in the shadows and pass through a locked door without a key. I can only tell you what it consists of, and hope that you can find its meaning within your own heart, mind and soul.'

I hesitantly inclined my head.

My mother turned her head and looked into my eyes. She no longer had to stoop down to my level. 'Two words, Karliah. Two words that may one day make the difference between life and death. No matter how hard things get, no matter how hopeless things seem, no matter how much you want to simply give up, always remember them.' She blinked. 'Trust yourself.'

_Trust yourself? _I felt a whole universe of questions rise up in my throat, ready to burst out through my mouth, but my mother held up a hand to stop me. 'It's harder than it seems, Karliah. Self-belief isn't something that comes naturally. You can take an entire lifetime trying to build it up within yourself, as if you were constructing a tower inside your mind, only to have the slightest thing, the tiniest wrong decision, bring it crashing down, broken beyond repair. What people do and say can make you feel that it is impossible. But never let anybody steal your dreams. You never know what you're capable of until you try, and as long as you believe and trust in yourself you are capable of anything at all.'

Once again, there was a silence that only lasted for a few seconds but seemed as if it dragged on for a hundred years as she finished speaking. It was in that silence that we both knew that this was it, this was truly the end, that it was time for us to part. And though I knew that we would not be far away, though I knew that I could easily visit her whenever I wanted, I knew in my heart that it would never be the same again.

I was not going to cry, I told myself firmly. I was going to stay strong, just like I had told Arjmund to stay strong, I was not going to cry, but all of a sudden here came the tears. And since my mother was doing nothing to hold back her own I let them come as she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me into her chest. I will never forget the pain of that parting for as long as I live. It was as if somebody had reached into my chest and grabbed hold of my heart and was slowly but surely ripping it in two.

'Look after yourself,' my mother whispered in my ear. 'Remember, you have a great destiny. You have a future like no other. I've watched you grow from a child to a woman and I know that there's never been anybody like you before. No mother could possibly be prouder of her daughter.'

I tried to say something, anything, but my throat was too tight for me to speak.

And so it was that I departed. With my mother's bow strapped to my back and my mind buzzing with the lessons I had learned from her, I left the only home I had ever known to seek my future in a Guild of strangers. The noon sunlight streamed down upon the two of us as I began my journey, with the only blood kin I had left standing at the top of the hill, watching me go, one hand raised in farewell. I turned back as I reached the road, and saw her standing silhouetted against the sun, tall and proud, hair flying about behind her in the breeze. I lifted my own hand and imagined, rather than saw, her smile.

That was the last time I saw her alive.

A bank of cloud drifted across the sun as I turned my back on her, and my home, and my old life, and started out towards where the city of thieves lay slumbering among the fire-coloured trees. The breeze whipped around me, pushing me onwards as if eager to see me on my way, dancing through my hair and over my head and high, high above me, rising up on the wings of the wind, into the endless sky.

* * *

END OF BOOK ONE

* * *

**Sorry it took me so long to get this up! I am ashamed of myself, so you have permission to get cross... I was away for a few days and then I got writer's block. *groans and bashes head against keyboard* Sorry guys, and thanks for your patience! I just hope that this chapter was worth the wait.**

**The keep Karliah finds in this chapter is an actual one from the game, called Mistwatch or something like that. And what she does with the bear and the bridge catapult is actually possible. (I find it works best with dead bodies.) If you haven't done it yet… I recommend you do. I killed myself laughing the first time. Little things please little minds, as they say. **

**So, that's the end of part one. I intended to make it longer, but I just couldn't find any more ideas, and I know better than to try and write something that isn't giving me ideas. It always comes out half-hearted and boring. So I'm just moving swiftly on to part two, which, along with the other parts, will be a lot longer. I hope nobody minds. I may well come back and add more at a later date, so don't give up on me!**


	7. Welcome

BOOK TWO- NIGHTINGALE

_For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul. _

Judy Garland

CHAPTER SIX

Riften.

I had seen it from afar many times, and I had listened to my mother's tales. I had spoken to villagers and merchants who had been there, and I had conjured up a thousand different images in my mind of what it might be like. But no story or far-off glimpse of it could possibly have prepared me for the reality.

It wasn't that it was particularly impressive, exactly. I had heard tell of cities like Solitude, Whiterun and Markath, all staggeringly stunning to look at and amazingly awe-inspiring. Riften looked more like a drowsy little village that had somehow grown in its sleep until it became a town. It wasn't remarkably beautiful, either. Though not unattractive at all, the simple wooden houses and the calm water of the canal had a sort of tired air to them, a run-down feel that made it seem like the entire city was sighing in exhaustion. Even the striking beauty of the autumnal forest that surrounded it couldn't lift the weary look from the place.

But if the scene appeared worn and tired, the city itself most certainly did not. From the top of the hill where I stood, overlooking the town, I had a bird's eye view of the hive of activity that was Riften. The streets were packed with people swarming about them and up and down the alleyways like a bustling colony of ants. The small cargo boats wound their way up and down the canal, stocked with goods bound for every corner of Skyrim- mostly, I knew from what I'd learned through my mother's patient teaching, mead and fish, the principal exports of the city. At least, I thought with a wry grin, the principal _official _exports. There was no avoiding the fact that, though the Jarl was loath to admit it, stolen goods were what Riften produced better than any other town in Skyrim.

And that, of course, was why I was here, I thought to myself as I started to make my way down the hill. I knew that there was an underworld beneath those busy streets, a city under the city. Down in the darkness of the ratways, the true rulers of Riften dwelt. The people I had come here to find. The Thieves Guild. They were where the true power in Riften came from, the backbone of the city, an invisible monarchy that nobody ever saw. The simple thought of becoming one of them was enough to send a quiver of excitement through my body, and I subconsciously started walking faster.

It wasn't long before I was in view of the city gates. I couldn't help a feeling of trepidation creeping over me as I approached. I had lived all my life in a tiny village with no more than a handful of people around me. Would I be able to cope with the sudden transition? The relentless stream of people flowing in and out of the gates didn't encourage me. I had never seen so many people in my life. There was a caravan of Khajiit making their camp outside the city gates, singing a song in their native language of Ta'agra as they built up a fire and pitching their tents. They were the first of their kind I'd seen, and I stared at them for a few moments before turning my attention to the others. There was an entire platoon of Imperial soldiers, their Legate shouting them into order as they marched away from the walls, probably to some camp in the woods. There was a crowd of travelling merchants, bent double under the weight of the heavy packs of goods they carried. A pair of Argonians bearing baskets of fish walked past me, chatting in voices that made my ears prick with curiosity at the sound of their strange accents. I jumped back as a huge cart rolled by, pulled by a pair of stormy grey horses and laden with barrels and crates with the insignia of the Black-Briar family stamped on their sides. Buzzing around the throng of people like bees were the harassed looking guards, desperately trying- and failing- to impose some kind of order.

I swallowed as I approached the two standing watch over the gate, who looked at me through narrowed eyes as I approached. Since most of their faces were invisible behind the visors of their helmets, it was impossible to tell what they were thinking as I neared them.

'Hold there, elf.' One of the two stood up from where he had been leaning against the wall. 'What's your business in the city?'

Somehow I had a feeling that saying I was there to join a Guild of criminals wasn't the best idea. 'Trading,' I said simply. It wasn't a complete lie. It was just I would be receiving the goods without having to pay for them, that was all.

'Then you'll have to pay the visitor's tax.' Though I couldn't see his face, I knew that he was smirking and I frowned.

'Tax? Why in Azura's name would I have to pay a tax to go into the city?'

'For the privilege of carrying out your… trading. Why else?'

I put my hands in my pockets and fixed him with a withering glare. 'I don't suppose you've realised, but this is the most obvious hoax that's ever existed in the history of Nirn.'

The guard didn't seem bothered, fiddling absent-mindedly with the hilt of his sword. 'Is that so? Well, I've got my orders, greyskin, and I'm keeping to them. One hundred septims. Now.'

The greyskin comment sent fury burning through my blood, but I pushed it down and gave a careless shrug as I drew my dagger from my belt. So, he'd decided to be arrogant and difficult, right? Well, two could play at that game.

'Do you see this?' I asked casually, holding up the weapon.

He jerked his head in response.

'What do you think I use it for?'

There was a trace of confusion in his voice as he replied. 'Stabbing things, I guess.'

'Almost. You're half right.' I spun it around in my hand. 'I use it for slicing open my kills after I go hunting so I can rip out their guts.'

I paused, waiting to see the effect on him. When he said nothing, I decided I might as well milk this thing for all it was worth.

'How about I give you a demonstration?' I pulled an apple I had taken with me for the journey from my pocket and threw it up into the air. As it soared upwards, I slashed up with my hand, splitting it into halves. As the two pieces started to fall, I sliced across, severing them neatly. Then I made a third quick flick with the blade, and in less than the time it took for me to blink, the apple landed on the ground in eight separate chunks.

I tossed the dagger from one hand to the other, threw it above my head and caught it again. 'But there'd be other things to slice, if you get my meaning, if I thought certain people were trying to cheat me out of my money.'

There was an extremely awkward silence as the guard shuffled nervously from foot to foot, staring at the pieces of apple and clearly trying to work out whether I meant my threat or not. 'Ok,' he said finally. 'You… you can put that thing away. I'm letting you in.'

'Thank you.' I threw him a winning smile as I tucked my knife back into my belt. 'And what race am I?'

'Dunmer,' he muttered sullenly, scuffing the ground with his boot.

'That's right. Call me greyskin again, and you'll regret it.'

I pushed past him and opened the gate myself, throwing a last parting shot over my shoulder as I entered the city. 'See you around. You know, if you want this hoax of yours to work, maybe you should stop sulking like that. You're so babyish that if I told you to act your age, I think you'd probably disappear. And what's more, you're so stupid you'd try to drown a fish.'

Before he could figure out what I'd said, I darted away out of sight. The gate swung shut behind me, and for the first time in my life I looked out over Riften.

Up close, there was no trace of the squalid feeling it had emanated when I had looked down on it from above. All of a sudden there was an intense beauty about it. Despite the throng of people pushing all around me, it had a lonely, separated feel, an air of secluded harmony. If felt so apart from the rest of Skyrim. The place was well named- it did indeed feel like there was an enormous rift that could not be crossed between this city and every other settlement in the land. Even surrounded by people, it was impossible not to feel strangely alone.

I started to walk into the city centre, unsure of what to do now that I was in. How did one go about finding the Thieves Guild? I doubted that I could just walk up to someone and ask. These people were a shadowy and secretive society. Their line of work demanded that they stay hidden from everything and everyone. If they were easy to find, each and every one of them would either be in jail or dead. How was I supposed to find them?

Maybe I wouldn't need to, I realised suddenly. Maybe they would find me. They had eyes everywhere in this city, I knew that well, eyes that were constantly on the lookout for assets. Any one of the dozens of people surrounding me could be Guild members on the lookout for recruits. From the guards marching up and down the packed streets to the merchants waving their wares above their heads in the marketplace, from the old beggar slouching against the wall next to me to the nobleman haggling with the armour trader- any of them might be my ticket into the Guild.

But first I would have to attract their attention…

The sky was beginning to darken, and I decided to leave any action until the dawn. The events of the previous day, coupled with the long journey and the various wolves, bears, sabre cats and brigands I had encountered along the road had left me exhausted. I turned in a circle, trying to find an inn of some kind where I could spend the night. I was rewarded by the sight of a wooden sign with a picture of a bee and a fishing hook painted on it, along with the name of the Bee and Barb. With a sigh of contented relief, I made my way over to it and pushed open the door. I was greeted by the soft strumming of a lute from nearby, and the calm glow of candlelight.

'Welcome to the Bee and Barb. What can I do for you, land-strider?' The voice was a gentle hiss. I turned to see a male Argonian hurrying over to me, wiping mead from his hand onto his apron. 'We have plenty of free rooms, and if I could interest you in any food or drink, then be sure to let me know.'

'I'd like to rent a room for tonight, please,' I told him.

'Of course.' He and clapped his hands at a young Argonian, probably his son, who was standing nearby sweeping the floor. 'Go and prepare a room for our guest.'

The boy nodded and scurried off. A group of rowdy Nords sitting at the nearest table struck up a loud drinking song, and it was then I realised how thirsty I was. 'You mentioned drinks?' I inquired, looking at the Argonian.

He rubbed his hands together, smiling. 'Ah, yes. We serve all the usuals here- ale, mead, wine… or perhaps I could persuade you to take an interest in some of our… special... drinks?'

'Special?'

'Indeed. My son invented them. He has a particularly inventive mind. First, the Velvet Lechance, which is a mixture of blackberry, honey, spiced wine and a touch of nightshade... perfectly safe, I assure you. Second, we have the White-Gold Tower, which is heavy cream with a layer of blended mead, lavender and dragon's tongue on top. Last, and only for the bravest of souls, we have the Cliff Racer, which is a delightful mixture of Firebrand Wine, Cyrodiilic Brandy, Flin and Sujamma.'

I stared at him, unsure of whether or not he was teasing me. 'I'll pass,' I said firmly. 'Just wine for me, please.'

The Argonian looked slightly disappointed, but dipped his head obediently. 'Very well. That will be ten septims for the room, and seven more for the wine.'

I nodded and counted out seventeen coins. As the Argonian took them and hurried over to the bar, I allowed myself to sink into the nearest free chair with a sigh of exhaustion. Tonight I would rest, and tomorrow, I would find the Thieves Guild- come what may.

* * *

'All meat cheap and guaranteed free from Rockjoint!'

'Jewelry with legendary Argonian craftmanship!'

'Armour guaranteed to stand in the way of any assassin's knife! If it doesn't, you can find some way out of Sovngarde and come back for a refund!'

The calls of the traders blended in with the cacophony of other noises to make a soundscape that was almost like a piece of music. There were the angry yells of the merchants arguing prices with their customers, the pleads of the beggars, the smashing of the blacksmith's hammer, the gentle splashing of the boats making their way down the canal, the scrape of the smith's assistant at the grindstone, the _thunk _of the woodcutter's axe. It was a melody of mortal life, one that was unlike nothing I had ever heard before.

I shook my head. I had no time to stand around. I had a Guild to find and join by the time the sun set. So, the first logical step was to try and find the ratways, the undercity. Being a sewer of sorts, it made sense for the entrance to be low down… so should I look down by the water's edge? Or would it make more sense for me to try and find someone who looked like they were connected with the Guild, and ask them for help? I knew the Black-Briar family had ties with them, but then I had no idea who was Black-Briar and who was not.

At a loss for anything else to do, I decided to wander around the marketplace for a while. The day was still young, and I was confident of success, so I might as well browse the goods for sale. The weapon stall naturally drew my eye first, and I found myself attracted to it like a moth to a flame.

'You gonna buy something? If not, move on.' The Nord woman selling the deadly items lying on her counter glared at me as I approached.

I frowned. 'You say that to all your customers?'

'Look, people have been rough with me for as long as I can remember. So I'm rough with people. Got a problem?'

I shrugged and was about to start examining her collection of daggers when, without warning, a young Bosmer dressed in dark leather armour raced up to the stall and snatched up the coin purse that rested upon it. The Nord woman gave a shout of fury and tried to grab him, but he slipped through her fingers easily and darted away into the crowd. A few guards looked up with expressions of bored curiosity, then looked back down again as the thief vanished. Not a single one of them made any move to go after him.

'Only in Riften!' The armour trader picked up a knife and drove it into her wooden counter. 'Only in this godforsaken hole of a city do people get clean away with stealing just about gods-damn everything! Only in this dump do the guards not give a skeever's ass! Only in this filthy hellhole can your life savings be snatched out from under your nose and nobody could be less bothered! Only in _Riften!'_

I watched the dark blob that was all I could see of the thief duck and weave through the crowd, and an idea occurred to me. A feeling of insuppressible mischief stole over me as I turned on my heel and dashed away from the irate Nord's armour stall, following the Bosmer's progress through the throng. It wasn't long before he rounded a corner into a mostly deserted street. I ducked into the shadows, using them for cover as I crept towards him. He tossed the purse into the air, clapped once and caught it again, grinning delightedly. He tucked it into his pocket and strolled off casually, clearly completley unaware that I was never more than three paces behind him.

As he turned into an alley where the two of us were completely alone, I acted with the speed of a striking snake. Fast as lightning, my hand dipped into his pocket. My fingers closed around the little cloth bag. In the space of half a second I had whipped it from his pocket and placed it in my own. The elf kept on walking, completely oblivious, and I had to suppress a spurt of laughter. Quickly, I dashed away into another dimly lit side-street, and waited until I was definitely out of anyone's earshot before I allowed myself to burst out laughing. Such barefaced robbery was so exhilarating it made me feel like a child again. And to have pickpocketed a pickpocket… the mere thought had be doubled over with mirth. Even better, I had gained myself a decent amount of money. Maybe I could indulge myself. I grinned at the idea of buying a knife from that grouchy Nord with her own money…

I gave a final, self-satisfied smirk, and prepared to return to the marketplace.

'Nicely done.'

I leaped at least a foot into the air as the soft, smooth voice sounded without warning from the shadows. My head whipped from side to side, desperately trying to find the source of the noise, but all I could see were the stone walls of the empty street. I felt my hand straying to my bow.

'Although,' the voice continued, sounding somewhat amused, 'your footwork needs a bit of work. You've got it half right, but you need to balance your weight in exactly the right way, otherwise you put yourself at risk of pulling on the target's purse. And that, as I'm sure you know, is fatal.'

'Look,' I snapped, 'I'm not in the habit of talking to the air. If you're going to lecture me on my thieving skills, at least do it from where I can see you.'

A heartbeat later, I jumped backwards in shock as a man stepped forwards and melted out of the shadows only a metre away from me, chuckling gently. 'No need to ask who you are,' he said in a warm voice. 'With a technique like that, and that feisty way of speaking, you can only be Dralsi's daughter. Karliah, I believe?'

I nodded slowly and warily. With a wide smile, he held out his hand, and, after a moment's hesitation, I took it. 'Gallus,' he said by way of introduction, his dark brown eyes sparkling. 'Gallus Desidenius. Guildmaster of the Riften Thieves Guild.'

He took a half-step backwards, and I swept my eyes over him, examining him. He was an Imperial- tall, dark haired, a few years older than me, startlingly handsome, and with an intelligent face that looked more as if it belonged on a scholar than a thief. He had an air of quiet wisdom and cleverness that would have made him seem out of place in his dark leather armour, if not for the roguish, mischievous glint in his eyes. It makes him look as if he has the nerve, daring and cunning to accomplish just about anything if he put his mind to it.

'How do you know my mother?' There were a thousand questions buzzing around in my mind, but that was the one slipped out first.

There was an enigmatic twinkle in his boyish eyes as he replied. 'It's a long story. Your mother and I go back. Way back.'

'In what way?'

He chuckled again. 'I could never forget that style of pickpocketing. I learned how to steal in the exact same way, from the exact same person.'

I stared at him in disbelief. 'You… you were taught by my mother?'

'For a time, yes. A brief time, but time enough for me to learn more from her than I had from anybody else.'

I let my doubts and suspicions fade away. Any friend of my mother's was a friend of mine. 'Then it's an honour to meet you,' I told him.

'Likewise.' Gallus gave me a winning smile. 'My Guild's been waiting a long time for you to come and join us. Your mother is practically revered among us. The acts she performed in the Guild's service will not be forgotten for centuries to come. When she told us it was her intention to send you here when you came of age…' He shrugged, still smiling. 'I think I can speak for all of us when I say we were quite excited, to say the least. Well, Mercer never lets himself get excited about anything, and I think Elandine would rather die than let anyone think she was looking forward to meeting anybody… but still.'

'Well, that's good.' I folded my arms. 'Because I came here to find you.'

'I know. We've got eyes everywhere in Riften, as I'm sure you're aware. I'm sorry my man on the gate gave you trouble, by the way, but I have to say that you performed admirably.' His smile widened. 'I enjoyed the bit about having other things to slice. Very effective.'

'Thank you.'

There was a moment of silence, before he turned and started to stroll away, beckoning for me to follow him. I obliged, hurrying after him as he made his way through several by-streets and into a cemetery. 'It's good to have a new recruit. I haven't been Guildmaster for long, you see. Our former leader, Draws-His-Blade, passed away recently. He died as he lived, fighting to defend what he held dear. His name will be honoured for as long as the Guild exists. He deserved a bit of peace after more than forty years of leadership, to tell the truth. But the downside was that I was flung into the job without much warning. Still getting used to it, to be honest. But having a capable new member in our ranks can only be an omen of good things.'

He led me down a flight of steps to a large slab of stone before standing to one side. 'Your first mission, should you choose to accept, is to find the way in.'

I frowned and examined the stone slab. My eyes instantly fixed on a symbol carved into it- a circle inside a diamond. The sign of the Thieves Guild. Looking carefully, I saw that the circle was actually a button built into the stone. I pushed it without hesitation, and was rewarded with the sound of rock scraping against rock as the slab drew backwards, revealing a short flight of stairs leading down to a trapdoor.

'Very nice.' Gallus smiled again as he pulled the wooden cover open and swung himself down onto the rickety wooden ladder that stretched down the hole. 'Extremely impressive, in fact. This way.'

He released his hold on the ladder and dropped out of sight without another word. A loud thud echoed up from the bottom of the ladder. Shrugging, I followed suit, clambering down into the darkness. The rungs quivered and buckled beneath my weight and I expected them to give way at any moment, but I gritted my teeth and forced myself to keep going. One rung, after the other, after the other…

My feet touched stone. I hadn't realized that I'd shut my eyes, but now I was opening them, so I must have done. I jumped down the short distance that was left and turned around.

My mouth dropped open.

Gallus stood slightly in front of me, still smiling that gentle smile, the smile that shone in his eyes as well as on his face. The amber glow of lanterns and candles illuminated the scene as I tried to take it in.

I wasn't quite sure what I had been expecting. But whatever it had been, it hadn't been this. When I'd been told that the Guild lived in the sewers, I guess I'd imagined dark, dimly lit tunnels and cramped passageways. But this place… this place was something else. It was vast, for a start. The enormous domed roof was so high that if three people stood on each other's shoulders, they wouldn't have been able to reach it. Bright sunlight streamed down through a hole in the ceiling, drowning out the lanterns and making the dark water in the large, circular pool shine like liquid ebony. There was a circular walkway around the pool, along with four stone bridges that stretched out over the water, meeting in a circle where the beam of daylight shone the strongest.

As I stared in awe at the scene before me, Gallus stepped over to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. Still with that same smile on his face, he whispered two words.

'Welcome home.'

* * *

**I enjoyed writing that first meeting with Gallus. I hope you guys enjoyed reading it! If you can spare a moment, I'd really appreciate it if you could review and tell me what you thought. Please note that I had to use a LOT of artistic license with Gallus, as you never actually see him on the game except as a ghost. So his physical description was entirely made by me. Also, if you think the Flagon sounds slightly different to how it appears in game, that's mostly because of the time gap between the game and this part of the story.**


	8. Home

**I'm back, everyone! I've missed updating SO much while I was away, so can I just say a big thank you to all those who reviewed this story while I wasn't here- it was great to see so much positive feedback, even if it was maddening that I couldn't do any work on the story. So to make up for my absence, I am going to work as hard as possible, and I hope I'll be able to make it worth the wait… . **

**I've introduced a host of new characters for the Guild here, for reasons that will be pretty blindingly obvious. I don't know how many of the Guild members we all know and love from the game were around when Karliah first joined the Guild, so some people you'll recognise, some you won't. **

**Can I take a moment to thank yoyocrazy, who proof-read this chapter for me.**

**I'll shut up now, because Karliah is a lot more interesting than I am, right?**

* * *

CHAPTER SEVEN

I didn't know. How could I have known? How could I, a simple elven girl from Shor's Stone, have possibly have had any idea that this was the man who would steal my heart? The man to whom I would sell my soul? The man who, one day, would be the reason why I fought a secret war against former friends, a war which would end in death and in life, in despair and in hope, in a finish more final than any other and in a beginning brighter than the most dazzling sunrise?

For as long as I live, no matter what might befall me, I will never forget that first moment. The moment when he materialized from the shadows, smiling that gentle smile, that wonderful smile that made me feel like everything was going to be all right. That smile made me feel warm, no matter how frosty the weather, no matter how cold the day. That smile that will be in my mind and heart forever. In the years of my life when survival was a battle to the death with the rest of the world, when staying alive took everything I had from me, the thought of that smile was what kept me going. The thought that I would bring death to the person who had destroyed that smile. The hope that one day, all would be set to rights, and I might see that smile again.

But no. I did not know, could not have known, that the smiling man with the boyish glint in his eyes and the smooth, rich voice, the man who welcomed me into the Guild like a brother welcomes his sister, would one day become the man I loved more than the entire land, more than the entire world, more even than the entire universe, far, far more than it was possible for words to say.

And by the time I truly knew, it was far too late.

All I knew then was that this was the man who was beginning my new life. The man who was opening the door that led to my future. The man who had just welcomed me home.

* * *

Home. Such a small word; such a deep meaning. I wonder what that word means to you. I wonder what you see as you think of it. Perhaps you picture a land like Skyrim- fierce, hostile, untamed, with jagged mountains rearing as if they wished to slice the clouds in two with their snow-shrouded peaks. Maybe your vision is of a desert realm, covered in boundless, endless golden sands stretching away in every direction, further than anyone could possible see. Or perhaps you see forests, or rolling plains, or a city so crowded with people that it seems to never sleep. Or maybe you think of none of these things. Maybe, in your eyes, the whole world is your home. Or perhaps that word means nothing to you. Perhaps you have no place to call your home.

There was a time when I felt that way.

But now, when I think of the word home, I think of two things, two different places. The first picture that comes to my mind is that house in Shor's Stone, surrounded by the amber woodlands. The house where I was like a fledgling bird, cared for and nurtured by my mother, until the day I was old enough to fly. That house with the 'Protected' Shadowmark upon the door. The house where I was indeed protected. The house where I was innocent and safe.

That was my first home.

My second home was the place I found myself looking out over in that moment, as the noise of the rushing water echoed around the cavernous chamber, and the gentle glow of the lanterns bathed it in pale golden light.

'You know,' came Gallus's voice from next to me, 'you might want to close your mouth now.'

I did so, but I couldn't prevent my eyes from staying as wide as the mouth of a river as I gazed around at the scene before me.

'So.' The handsome young Imperial raised one eyebrow. 'What do you think?'

I returned his smile, shaking my head in slight disbelief. 'It's… not exactly what I expected.'

'How so?' Gallus sounded faintly amused.

'Well… I guess I thought it would be smaller.' I frowned. 'Who built this place?'

'Nobody is entirely sure. It's been here for countless generations, as far back as anyone can remember, perhaps as long as Riften itself. Maybe longer. There's a constant argument about whether the city gave birth to the Guild, or whether the Guild gave birth to the city.'

I turned slowly on the spot, taking in every inch of the amazing place that I could. 'How many people live here?'

'About twenty, at the last count. Not as many as I would like, to be completely honest. But a reasonable amount, I believe.'

'Twenty one, Desidenius. Since you've picked up another stray.'

I turned to see an Altmer woman leaning against the wall nearby. Her arms were folded across her chest and her gaze was intense and measuring. I could tell instantly that she was trying to weigh me up, work out how much use I would be, what line of work would suit me best. My skin prickled and I felt myself frowning before I could stop myself. One thing I have never been able to stand, since I was a child, is people judging me before they know who I am.

'I am not in the habit of choosing people from the streets and hoping that I get lucky, Elandine.' Gallus sounded faintly irritated. 'I leave that to the likes of Mercer and Delvin. My protégés tend to be tried and tested before I allow them into the Cistern. And where exactly would you be after the Thalmor banished you, had Draws-His-Blade not taken a chance on you?'

The High Elf looked offended. 'They didn't banish me. I banished myself. I chucked a sweetroll in Elenwen's face and told her to go to Oblivion before I sent her there with my bare hands. Remember?' I felt my frown lifting as my admiration for the woman grew from non-existent to considerable within a few seconds. 'So, you thought the Flagon would be a bit smaller, huh? You're not the only one. And guess who has to do the cleaning?'

'You haven't had to do the cleaning since you were a new recruit, Elandine,' Gallus chuckled, shaking his head in mock despair. He turned to me, laughter twinkling in his eyes. 'This is Elandine, one of our senior members. Expert mage and enchanter, but she'll complain about anything that stays still long enough. Elandine, this is-'

'Dralsi's daughter. I guessed that. She looks like her mother. Except the eyes.' Elandine gave me a look I couldn't read. I wasn't sure whether she approved of my coming to the Guild or not. 'Well, as long as she doesn't interfere with my magic, beg me to enchant her weapon, or refuse to help clean the Flagon, she's welcome.'

And she turned on her heel and sauntered off without another word.

'Typical,' Gallus said, rolling his eyes. 'Never fear, you'll get used to her in time, with any luck. She may have a tongue as sharp as a swordblade but her talents are invaluable.'

He started to walk across the bridge over the pool, and I hurried to keep up with his long strides. 'If you'll just step this way, I'll see if Ahsla has a set of armour for you. She should be-'

He suddenly broke off without warning and spun around. I leaped back in surprise as he grabbed hold of the wrist of a Khajiit who had been standing less than a metre behind him in an iron grip. 'Did you want something, Dar'zha?'

The Khajiit flicked his ears and gave a wide, innocent smile as he slid his hand out of Gallus's pocket. I stood and stared, unable to believe I hadn't noticed him sneaking up on us.

'How many times, brother!' A second Khajiit, who looked almost like and identical copy of Dar'zha, with the same charcoal-coloured fur and green eyes, ran over to us with a panicked expression. 'You don't try to rob the Guildmaster!'

Gallus released Dar'zha's wrist, and the culprit turned to his brother, grinning and making a series of gestures with his hands.

'Ma'rhaz doesn't care if you were just having a bit of fun! This is the third time. This one must apologise for his brother, Guildmaster- he doesn't know what he's doing.'

Dar'zha's eyes widened and he gesticulated vigorously. I realised that for some reason, he must be unable to speak.

'No, brother, you do not! There are no excuses. Your deeds shame us both. And our new friend here- what must she think of us?!' Ma'rhaz turned to me, looking profusely ashamed. 'Ma'rhaz begs you to forgive his brother. He does not fully understand the consequences of his actions.'

'No harm done, Ma'rhaz.' Gallus was clearly struggling to contain his laughter- particularly since Dar'zha was looking extremely indignant and clearly understood the consequences of his actions very well. 'I'm all for my students getting a little practice.'

Ma'rhaz bowed his head. 'Thank you, Guildmaster.' He turned and started to tug his brother away, whilst still bombarding him with admonishments. 'And don't look at me like that! You are getting worse, brother- yesterday you put spriggan sap in Delvin's mead and iced his sweetroll with void salts!' There was a pause. 'No, it was most certainly not funny!' Another pause. 'Well, yes- but it wasn't funny to Delvin!'

Gallus stifled his laughter and beckoned for me to keep following him across the bridge. 'Now, the twins,' he smiled. 'With the twins, I don't think you'll have any problem getting to like them.'

'What's wrong with Dar'zha?'

Gallus's smile faltered slightly, but didn't vanish. I was beginning to wonder if that was the closest to a frown he could manage. 'Dar'zha… a few years ago, he was out on a job. He was spotted trying to pickpocket a citizen and… well. There was a small accident.'

'What sort of accident?'

'One involving a particularly ruthless town guard.'

My horror must have showed on my face, because Gallus nodded grimly. 'His brother arrived in time to rescue him, but he's never been the same since. It's not his fault. Ma'rhaz is a little over-protective of him, but that's only to be expected. They've always been close, and I think Ma'rhaz blames himself for what happened. Whatever you do, don't ask any questions about it to either of them.'

I nodded. 'I wasn't planning on it.'

Gallus led me down a narrow, dimly-lit corridor into a second dome-shaped room. This one had what appeared to be a small bar set out at one end, with several Guild members draped over the seats with mugs of various different drinks clasped in their hands. As we passed, I angled my ears towards them, trying to catch a few snatches of their conversations.

'… but he only gave me five hundred for it, daylight robbery, that is…'

'… seven hundred Septims, two sapphires, and a silver necklace. I'll see if Madesi'll buy them…'

'Can you guys help me get Delvin out of here? Cause if he has one more drink, I dread to think what we're gonna be cleaning off the floor.'

'… and Enthir told me that if I went anywhere near his purse again, he'd give me to the next Destruction magic class to use as target practice…'

Gallus held up a hand for me to wait and walked over to a Redguard woman who was trying to drag a bald, clearly drunk Breton man out of his seat. 'Having trouble, Ahsla?'

'No more than I have every time Del gets his hands on anything with alcohol content,' the Redguard replied blandly.

Gallus frowned. 'I thought Delvin was supposed to be in Falkreath, at that meeting with the Dark Brotherhood.'

'He is. Mercer had to go instead.'

Gallus shook his head in despair. 'If he carries on like this, I'm going to have to ban him from the Flagon.' He leant down onto the table and stared accusingly at the Breton. 'What do you have to say for yourself, Delvin?'

The man opened his eyes and stared blearily at his Guildmaster. 'Butterflies,' he said vaguely, and promptly sank back down onto the table again.

Gallus sighed and snapped his fingers at the nearest Guild members. 'Vex, Thjon. Can you deal with Delvin? Ahsla, I need to borrow you.'

The Redguard woman frowned, but desisted in her efforts to drag the Breton from his seat. 'Sure. What can I do for you?'

'Our latest recruit is going to be needing a set of armour. Could you perhaps do the honours?'

Ahsla turned and looked at me as if seeing me for the first time. I noticed her eyes widen in surprise. 'Why, can this really be-'

_If one more person calls me Dralsi's daughter, I am going to do something violent, _I thought.

'It's Karliah, right? Dralsi's daughter.'

_I'm going to do something violent._

'And Elrandor's daughter, too. You should be proud. Your father was a good man.'

I blinked and looked at her in surprise. Nobody in the Guild had mentioned my father yet. 'You knew my father?'

'I was there the day they met.' Ahsla smiled as if at some distant memory. 'Dralsi was my best friend when she was in the Guild. I knew her well enough to know that from the moment she met Elrandor, we'd lost her.'

Gallus nodded. 'I only knew her for a short while, and I was still a child the day she left us behind, but I knew even that that she was a great loss to the Guild. But it was easy to understand why she went. Her love for her work was strong, but her love for Elrandor- and later for you, too- was far stronger.'

Ahsla dipped her head in agreement. 'It's good to have you here.'

I smiled my thanks, but there were thoughts whirling in my head that made me uneasy. This woman had been a friend of both my mother and my father. And Gallus's mentor had been my mother, for a time. I looked around the chamber with new eyes. How many of these people had known my mother also? How many of them had she taught? How many of them had been her friends?

As I followed Ahsla and Gallus to the armoury, I shivered as an unwelcome thought whispered in the dark corners of my mind.

_Do these strangers know my mother better than I do?_

* * *

I drew back my arm slowly. I felt my arrow quivering on my bowstring, as if it were eager to be unleashed. I pulled with all my strength, until I could feel the dark feathers brushing against my cheek. For a moment I froze where I stood, revelling in the moment before I let my arrow fly, in the silent, deadly power of the weapon that I hold in my hands. I was acutely aware of Gallus's silent, measuring gaze upon me as I released the arrow. It snapped forwards through the air and buried itself in the target with a _thunk_. I grinned. Bullseye.

'Very nice.' I saw Gallus give me an approving nod out of the corner of my eye, and felt a need to show him that it wasn't just a lucky shot. As quickly as it was possible for me to move, I sent another arrow flying into a second target. I had barely acknowledged the fact that it had once again hit dead centre before my third arrow was in the air, striking the middle of a third painted board. Spinning around, I took careful aim at the training dummy that stood mounted on a pole behind me, wielding a roughly made wooden shield and sword and wearing an upturned bucket as a helmet. My fourth arrow sank into the dummy's heart, the fifth into its stomach, the sixth into its throat. Finally, I sent a final shaft smacking into the bucket. It split in two and fell to the ground, leaving the arrow quivering in the middle of the stuffed sack that was the figure's head.

'Very nice indeed.' Gallus was still smiling. _Still. _How was it even possible for someone to smile for that long?

As an encore, I whipped my dagger from my belt and sent it hurtling into the centre of another target. 'So, are my weapon skills up to scratch?' I asked, grinning.

'I think I'd be lynched if I suggested they weren't,' was the reply. 'And I've seen your talent in pickpocketing for myself. One more test. How would you go about putting a mammoth into a cupboard?'

'_What?'_

Gallus was grinning now. 'I said, how do you put a mammoth into a cupboard? It's a quick intelligence test.'

I stared at him. 'I have no idea.'

'Think about it. It's not hard. I just want to see whether you think about simple matters in an overly complicated way.'

'Well…' I frowned. 'If the cupboard was big enough, I guess I could just open the door and stick it in.'

'Correct. And how would you put a sabre cat into said cupboard?'

'Open the door and sti-' I suddenly stopped. 'No. Open the door, take out the mammoth, and then put in the sabre cat.'

'Very good. Finally, someone who can think through the repercussions of their previous actions.'

I was frowning even harder. 'Are you pulling my leg with this?'

'Decide for yourself. Question three- the High King is holding a meeting for all the animals of Skyrim. Only one doesn't come. Which one?'

'You're definitely pulling my leg, Guildmaster.'

'Perhaps. Which one?'

'The sabre cat. I just stuffed him in the cupboard.'

'Correct again. And finally, if you were going to the meeting but needed to cross a river filled with Slaughterfish, and you didn't have a boat, how would you get across?'

I wasn't sure I got the point of this, but I shrugged, thought it over, and answered. 'Jump in and swim. The Slaughterfish are all at the animal meeting, right?'

Gallus shook his head, but from amusement. 'Karliah Indoril, you are the first person who has ever answered all of those questions correctly.'

'You mean you give that quiz to every recruit?'

'Of course. If you can't work out the answer to a simple problem, what use will you be in a job like this?

I felt my frown lifting, but only very slowly. I was beginning to get a feeling that it was going to take me a long time to work out Gallus Desidenius. A very long time.

I was right.

Gallus was counting things off on his fingers. 'So, intelligence, stealth, weapons, stealing and lockpicking, all above average. I'm impressed. Which only leaves…'

'Which leaves what?'

Gallus leaned back against the wall. 'Your final assessment, naturally. I don't think it's necessary. I've seen your skills for myself. But it's the rules.'

I nodded and set about retrieving my arrows as he carried on. 'I've got a job I need doing. We have enemies, as you know. The Jarl of Riften is constantly trying to bring us down. It's my duty to ensure she does not succeed. Unfortunately, she has help.'

'What sort of help?'

I heard him chuckle dryly. 'You may have noticed that thieves are distinctly unpopular here in Riften. Some of the citizens help us, in the hope that we'll leave them alone. Others do their best to ignore us. Others try to destroy us. There's one man in particular who sees it as his duty to see us wiped out. He's been funding the Jarl's efforts to find us for years. We need to send him a reminder of what we can do to him if he doesn't wise up. Taking out those who are helping the Jarl is the first step to making her realise that nobody can stop the Thieves Guild. After all, as I'm constantly telling everyone, in order to ensure your enemy's defeat, you must first undermine their allies.'

I nodded. 'That makes sense. And what's my part in all this?'

'Your part is simple. We don't do things like the Dark Brotherhood, obliterating anyone who stands in our way. We just need to send the man a message.'

'And how do we do that?'

'That's up to you.' Gallus's smile grew a little wider. 'If I show you the target's house, it's up to you to get in and do the job in any way you fancy. There are only two rules. One, nobody is to be killed. Especially not you. And two, you must not be seen.'

I nodded. 'Makes sense.'

'That's your trial. If you can eliminate this potential threat to our Guild, there will always be a place for you here. Do you accept?'

I stared at him. 'Is it even possible to give a negative response to that question?'

'Not really, no.'

* * *

There is something magical about the night. Anything seems possible under the thick shroud of blackness, when the rest of the world is sleeping, and the only eyes upon you are those of the shimmering stars.

And the shadows. The shadows that flow all around, a river of darkness, clustering everywhere the eye can see. The shadows that shield you, protect you, guide you, hide you. They are your cover from spying eyes. No mortal can ever become truly invisible- not without the aid of a potion or spell. But being a thief… that is the closest you will ever come to true invisibility. If you can walk in the shadows, you walk unseen.

Another thing my mother taught me.

Both Gallus and I moved noiselessly, almost seeming to glide over the ground rather than setting foot upon it. Like a pair of cats on the hunt, we crept forward along the base of the wall, impossible to see in our dark, grey-black armour against the dark, grey-black stones. I saw the reflection of the moons flash for a moment in his dark brown eyes as he held up his hand for me to stop, and I drew to a halt behind him, waiting for his orders.

'There'll be a man on guard.' His voice was low, almost inaudible. 'How you get past him is up to you. Once you're in, you can do anything you like to make sure the target gets the message that we're not to be interfered with.'

'Got it.'

'That house you want is that one.' I saw his hand, pale in the silvery moonlight, indicate a tall manor-like building. 'Getting in should be simple enough. Getting out will be a great deal harder.'

'I can handle it,' I told him.

'I certainly hope so.' The boyish twinkle in his eyes was stronger than ever, and I suddenly got the feeling that there was something he wasn't telling me. 'I'll expect to see you in the Flagon tomorrow morning. Hopefully in one piece.'

'Hopefully,' I agreed. I looked at the house, gloomy in the darkness. It looked like the windows were my best way in. I turned to Gallus, about to tell him that I was ready to begin, to find him gone. I blinked, looking in confusion at the place where he had been standing. How had he managed to disappear so quickly?

High above me, a bank of cloud covered the moons, drenching the world in inky blackness. I knew that my moment had come, that I must wait no longer, that I would be near invisible in the shadows now. I reached down to the path and picked up a small stone. After rolling in my hand for a moment, I removed my bow from its holder and placed the pebble against the string as if it were a small, round arrow. Gently I pulled it back, breathing in as I did so. As I let out the breath, I let go of the bowstring. The stone whipped through the air and hit the iron gate with a resounding _clang_.

A heartbeat later, it was wrenched open by a giant of a man wielding no less than five different weapons of various types. His gaze snapped from side to side, seeking the cause of the disturbance. Still hidden by the shroud of night, I selected another pebble and sent it flying down the alley. The man stepped out of the gate as it thumped on the ground, looking from side to side, drawing an axe from his belt. He was clearly waiting for the noise to come again, and I was happy to oblige. At the sound of the third pebble crashing into a pile of crisp, dead leaves, he swore violently, wrenched the gate shut, locked it so violently that he probably bent the key beyond repair, and loped off in the direction of the noise. I smirked as I looked at the now unguarded garden of the manor, judging the distance between my hiding place and the top of the wall. After glancing around quickly to make sure there was nobody watching, I crouched down and leaped with the grace and agility of a cat onto the top of the crumbling stones. My feet skidded a little on a patch of damp moss as I landed, but I grasped hold of an overhanging tree branch in time to stop myself from falling down the other side.I paused for a moment, tense and ready, gathering my strength for the next step.

My second jump carried me up into the branches of the tree. Moving as quickly as I dared, I clambered up the boughs and onto a long, wide branch that jutted out near to the windows of the manner. Trying not to think about the six-metre drop below me, I crept along it until I was in the perfect position. I dug into my potions bag and, after a moment of contemplation, pulled out one for lockpicking and another for invisibility. I wanted to be out of this tree and in the house as quickly as possible, and I didn't fancy my chances of staying unseen if someone walked along the street while I was working on the lock.

In the silence, every click and scrape that the pick made as I gently twisted it into position seemed to rip through the night like the roar of a sabre cat. Even the tiniest noise made me wince and glance around nervously. I was so much on edge that I almost missed the tiny clink that told me I had succeeded. Muttering a prayer to any and all of the Divines that were listening, I shoved the window open and pulled myself through, landing lightly as I could on the other side.

I glanced out of the window, looking at the positions of the moons. It was about eleven o'clock. Good. That gave me plenty of time. The target was probably asleep- and he would, with any luck, stay that way, unless I did something stupid.

Silenty, slyly, softly, I began to creep forwards, into the house. I wasn't sure exactly how to 'send him a message' as Gallus had put it, but I was pretty certain that I'd think of something. I entered the next room- small, dimly lit, with no other door except the one I'd come in by, furnished with only a desk and a cupboard. I was about to back out and continue looking for an opportunity, when an idea occurred to me. Pulling the door shut behind me as quietly as I could, I snuck over to the table, pulled out my dagger and dug it into the wood, dragging it along to form a picture. Then I added a few words beside it, thrust the dagger into the table top, and stepped back to admire my handiwork.

It wasn't exactly a work of art, but I was pretty certain it would have the desired effect. First, there was a small stick-drawing of a man, with my still-quivering dagger cutting it in half. Below it, there was the Guild symbol, along with a stark warning- _Keep messing with us, and there'll be other things to slice than your table._

'I reckon that's becoming my trademark threat,' I muttered to myself, and turned to leave.

That was when I heard the footsteps.

Alarm flashed through me and I froze, thanking the Divines for bestowing the gift of decent hearing upon my race. Backing into a corner, I stood stock still, trying to determine whether or not the footsteps were coming in my direction.

Azura's mercy. They were.

_Please, _I thought as I desperately rummaged through my bag. _Please let me have some invisibility potions left, please, Divines, have mercy for just this once…_

To say I found one just in time would have been an intense understatement. I had literally only just blinked out of sight before the door swung open. The man that entered was a Breton- tall, strong, and surprisingly muscular. Most Bretons chose the path of the mage over that of the warrior. Not that it mattered. All that mattered was that he left the room before my potion wore off. The sound of my breathing seemed to me as loud as the thunder of a waterfall, and I was convinced that at any moment the man would hear it. I bit my lip and sent up a silent plea to the Divines to keep me safe.

I saw his eyes narrow as he saw the message I had left for him. He swore violently and this fist thumped down on the table, making my knife tremble. Without a backwards glance, he turned and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

A moment later, I heard a scrape of metal.

Oh, no. Oh, Gods, no.

I got to my feet and warily gave the door a small push.

It didn't move. It had been bolted from the other side.

There was no getting past it. No other door. No way out.

I was trapped.

* * *

**I hope you're not too annoyed that I made you wait this long, then ended it on a cliffhanger. **

**Before anyone asks, yes, sorry, Brynjolf IS missing, but he will be appearing before long. You don't think I'd leave him out, do you? **

**I'd love to have some feedback on this chapter, especially since I don't think it's all it could be, mostly because I got writer's block while doing it. If my reviewers agree, I'll be sure to come back and edit it later.**

**Any questions about the practicality of Karliah's assessment are going to have to wait, because there's more to it than meets the eye. How? Ha, you'll have to wait for the next chapter!**

**Thank you all for your patience. I am ashamed of myself. I promise I will never make you wait that amount of time again.**


	9. Escape

CHAPTER EIGHT

Fear.

It built up within me in a great, seething wave and crashed over me, flooding into every corner of my mind and body. For a moment, the entire world seemed to stand still, frozen in a moment of horror and despair. I was trapped- trapped like a cornered rat, with no escape, no way out, no hope.

Surely this was the end. In that locked and bolted door, I saw the destruction of everything I had dreamed of. There was no way I could accomplish this mission- not without being seen. And the Guild would never take me. My future, built on such a fragile foundation, would come crashing down and shatter into pieces. I had lost everything. My life with the Guild was over before it had begun.

But my panic only lasted for a moment. As I stood stock still in the shadows, heart racing, breath coming in gasps, I seemed to hear my mother's voice whisper in my mind. _There's no such thing as a hopeless situation. Always have hope, always stay strong, no matter how bleak the horizon, no matter how dark the night, no matter how lost you might be…_

All right. I drew in a deep breath. Panicking wasn't about to get me anywhere. There would be a way out- there was always a way out. Thieves always had a way out. It was here somewhere. All I needed to do was find it.

The door? It was bolted, but could it be got past in some other way? Were the hinges, perhaps, on this side of the door? And if they were, were they weak enough to be undone? And if they were, could I get rid of them and pull the door off its frame without alerting anyone?

But since the answer to the first question turned out to be 'no,' the answer to the other two questions had to be 'no,' too. The door was clearly not going to give me a way out anytime soon. I turned my back on it and started examining the rest of the room. I could rule out the floor and ceiling, since they were sturdily made, and even if I did manage to pull up some floorboards and get into another room, I would definitely make too much noise, and there was no telling whether or not there would be someone in the room I found myself in. I was starting to consider waiting until someone came back into the room, drinking another invisibility potion and sneaking around them, when something caught my eye.

The wardrobe.

Or rather, not the wardrobe itself, but the tiny symbol carved into the door.

I stared at it, convinced that my eyes were trying to play a trick on me. Either that, or Sheogorath had taken over my mind and decided to have some fun.

But it was there. Quite definitely there. Small, insignificant, easy for the casual observer to miss.

But I wasn't in the habit of looking at anything casually. My eyes missed next to nothing. And there was no doubt that it was there.

It had been carved into the wood with a dagger or knife with a light hand. My fingers traced it. A circle with a line through it. And, pointing down from the circle like an arrowhead, a small triangle.

A Shadowmark. And not just any Shadowmark. I had memorised every Mark there was, and I knew this one well. It was the Mark that a desperate thief seeks for most of all, the light in the darkness, the hope in a world of despair. The mark that had saved the life of many a foolish Guild member who'd bungled a mission and found themselves within an inch of death.

Escape. It meant escape.

I stared at it with my heart pounding. Why would a Guild Shadowmark be carved onto a piece of furniture in the house of one of their enemies? It didn't make sense. Gallus had sent me here because the man who owned the house was one of their bitterest rivals. But what reason would someone who wanted to bring down the Guild have to mark their wardrobe with an _escape _symbol? A possibility occurred to me- one that made me frown and begin to feel stirrings of unease.

I shook my head. It hardly mattered. What mattered was getting out of this gods-forsaken place before I was discovered. Whatever the motives of whoever had placed the Mark on the cupboard, what I needed to be concerned about was the fact that it was actually there. If there really was an escape route, a way out… I hardly dared to breathe as I pulled the door open.

At first it looked like an ordinary cupboard. There were several sets of shoes and clothes stacked inside it, and I tugged them out and threw them onto the floor, revealing the back of the wardrobe. I looked at it from the outside, and then from the inside. No doubt about it- the back panel of the cupboard looked further forward than it should be. I felt around in the semi-darkness until I felt a small handle beneath my fingers. I tugged it back, and the back panel slid away with a slight hiss. I was rewarded with the sight of a flight of stairs.

I hurried down them, into some sort of basement. It was lit by candlelight, and as sparsely furnished and the room I had just emerged from, with only a few crates lying in the corner. However, I could tell that I had truck gold the instant I turned to my right. A passage stretched away into the gloom, wreathed in shadows and definitely not looking particularly inviting. It was hardly the most appealing escape route. On the other hand, it was at least _an_ escape route.

I started to creep down it, gently as possible, until it widened out into a room where the floor was covered in strange round tiles. I groaned. I had a horrible suspicion about what they might be. To make sure, I picked up a small piece of rubble from the ground and tossed it onto the floor. Instantly it was covered in a jet of flame. 'Pressure plates,' I muttered unhappily. I was about to turn around and seek another way when I remembered that whoever built the tunnel wouldn't have made it inaccessible. They would have wanted to get down it themselves. Again, there was a way across, and I just had to find it. I scanned the floor and quickly located a few small areas that the plates didn't cover.

A series of quick leaps got be across unscathed, though I did misjudge the final one slightly, sending the floor up in fire as I skidded to safety. Luckily, whatever material the Guild boots were made from seemed pretty tough, and I was lucky enough to escape any burns. I gave a short sigh of relief and continued on.

I was more aware of traps now, and I spotted the pressure plate halfway down the next corridor almost instantly. I loaded an arrow and took careful aim, before sending it smashing into the plate with a _ping. _Instantly I leaped back as a hail of razor-sharp bolts flew from the other end of the wall and smacked into the stonework exactly where I had been standing a moment before. Thank the Divines I'd had the foresight to detonate the plate before I attempted to cross. They could have killed me if they'd caught me in the middle of the corridor, where there was nowhere to leap to safety.

I was beginning to have serious doubts about the sanity of the maker of this passage. These were confirmed a moment later when I rounded a corner and a group of axes started swinging across the corridor. I stepped back in alarm, then dropped down onto my chest and started to crawl underneath them. Why could people in Skyrim not make secret passages that were user-friendly, safe, and easily accessible?

The next room, again, was booby-trapped, and it was with some difficulty that I dodged the barbed spikes that flew up from behind the door the moment I stepped through it. Beginning to get fed up, I stormed across the room, pausing only to wonder why the house owner had a copy of _The Lusty Argonian Maid _sitting on his desk, down the next passage, and flung open the door at the end so hard that the sound reverberated through the entire chamber that I found myself in.

I stopped, my frown deepening. I knew this place. Gallus had taken me on a short tour of the entire secret city that lay beneath Riften. This place was the Ratway Vault, not far from the Ragged Flagon. Why would one of the Guild's bitterest rivals have a passage that led directly from their house to the Guild's headquarters?

I decided that I had no time to stop for idle speculation. What mattered was the fact that I had completed my mission. I had done everything that was required of me. What's more, I had managed to survive a journey down what was in all probability the most ridiculously booby-trapped secret passage in the entire history of Tamriel. If my actions tonight weren't enough to get me into the Guild for life, I didn't know what would be enough. With a self-satisfied grin, I marched over to the door to the flagon and shoved it open.

I emerged into the Flagon, to find it deathly silent. Most of the Guild members were present, but none of them were speaking. Their eyes were fixed on the scene next to the bar. Gallus was standing with his hands in his pockets, still smiling, a mischievous expression on his face. A second man was standing in front of him, practically radiating fury, his fists clenched, and his voice raised so that it echoed around the entire chamber. 'I am _not _going to put up with this! This is the third time! You keep sending them round to rip up my furniture, and I'm going to do something drastic!'

'Calm yourself, please.' Gallus's voice was soothing, but it was filled with barely supressed laughter. 'You cannot deny that she performed exceptionally well.'

'I seems to have escaped your notice, Gallus, that she performed exceptionally well in _my house!'_

'Indeed she did. On the other hand, she managed to get in and get out without being seen- and that has to be admired.'

'Yeah, well, next time, send the new bloods to your house! Have them slice up your own tables!'

'It was only a table, and the Guild is quite happy to cover any costs. However, we did witness her skills in lockpicking, sneaking and tree-climbing, not to mention that fact that she has a considerable amount of ingenuity. All in all, we've gained a fine recruit. I believe she takes after her mother. Though I think she has her father's ears.'

'_Damn _her ingenuity and whether or not she's got her father's ears! Do you remember what happened when you sent Vex on her recruitment mission? She stole all my mead!'

'And a good thing, too. You drink too much, Mercer.'

The man fell silent, spluttering with rage. I suddenly recognised him, and my confusion deepened. It was the Breton from the manor- the one who had bolted me into the room. What was he doing here? My suspicions from before returned- and when I realised that the man was wearing Guild armour, they were instantly confirmed. _Of course, _I thought with a smile.

I coughed loudly. A few Guild members saw me standing there and started to titter audibly. I saw Ma'rhaz nudge Elandine and point in my direction, grinning. Gallus and the man called Mercer, however, were at each other's throats again.

'I've had enough of putting up with my posessions being ruined because you wanted to teach the recruits the important of undermining an enemy's allies in order to ensure his defeat, or whatever it is you keep saying! And who are you to preach to me about my drinking? I'm not as bad as Delvin!'

'Nobody is as bad as Delvin.'

'And what about Thjon? When he did his trial, I seem to remember that he smashed a pair of practically priceless-'

'I know, and I paid for repairs. I also compensated you for everything that Vex stole during her recruitment task. And allow me to remind you that the day that Thjon goes through a mission without breaking something will be the day that you go through a day without a single bottle of mead.'

'I'll have you know that only last week-'

'I didn't realise that stabbing a little stick figure would cause so much controversy,' I called out.

Those heads that were not already turned towards me spun around, and I saw a large amount of relief cross Gallus's face- whether it was because I'd made it out alive or because I'd arrived in time to save him from the argument I wasn't sure.

'See,' he said, raising one eyebrow at the Breton. 'I told you she was good.'

I took a few steps forward, looking at him scathingly. 'You set me up,' I said blandly.

He looked faintly embarrassed. 'Guilty, I'm afraid. It's a routine I go through with most recruits, in order to test their initiative. I wouldn't actually have sent you into the house of one of our real enemies. I'm not keen on having recruits murdured.'

I spread out my arms. 'Well, here I am. I'm alive. Is that enough initiative?'

Dar'zha let out a snort of quickly supressed laughter. Ma'rhaz thumped him. 'Ssh, brother!'

Gallus was nodding. 'It certainly seems that you did an extremely good job.'

The Breton scowled fiercely.

'Lighten up,' Gallus told him with a sigh. 'Karliah, this is Mercer Frey, my second in command. You may find it hard to believe, but he can actually be quite fun on a good day.'

'Hah!' Mercer folded his arms.

'Nice to meet you?' I ventured warily.

The only response was for his scowl to deepen.

'Can I ask you something?' I didn't wait for permission before I ploughed on. 'What is with all the booby-traps? How do you avoid getting killed every time you want to get down that passage?'

Mercer stepped forwards, glowering. 'That is a _secret _escape route!'

'Then don't put the Escape Shadowmark next to the entrance,' I told him. 'Because it could be considered to be a bit of a giveaway.'

He stared at me, seething. Gallus put a hand on his shoulder, as if trying to restrain an angered dog. 'Mercer. Please. You cannot deny the fact that she managed to break into your house and escape down perhaps the most dangerous secret tunnel in Skyrim without a single person laying eyes on her once. And your home isn't exactly lightly guarded. That's pretty impressive.'

Mercer opened his mouth as if to agree, then abruptly shut it again, clearly not wanting to give in.

Gallus ignored him and turned to the other Guild members. 'I'd like a show of hands. After her performance tonight, which of those among you are in favour of allowing Karliah to join our number?'

There are moments in life when the world seems to stand still, as if teasing you. This was one of them. For a moment, everything seemed to freeze, and my heart clenched. Perhaps I hadn't done enough. Perhaps they would never accept me. Perhaps I wasn't worthy, never had been worthy, never would be worthy.

Ahsla was the first to raise her hand. The Khajiit twins lifted theirs so perfectly in unison I almost clapped. Elandine came next, followed, moments later, by Delvin- though he was still so drunk I wasn't convinced he really understood what was going on. Slowly, like a wave running through the ranks of the dark-armoured watchers, each and every one of them raised their hands, their gazes fixed upon me and the two figures that stood in front of me. Gallus, his hand already held above his head, looked at Mercer expectantly. With a sigh, the muscular Breton followed suit. 'Fine. But if I find one more new blood sent around Riftweald Manor…'

Gallus chuckled and walked over to me, his smile widening. 'Welcome to the Guild, Karliah.'

* * *

I will say this for the members of the Thieves Guild. They certainly know how to throw a party.

An alliance with the Black-Briar Meadery has obvious advantages, and the Guild members were making the most of it. Nords are easy to please- a full stomach and a bottle of mead are really all that's required to put them in a good mood. And when are Nord is well-satisfied, it's not long before one of them picks up a lute. Thjon, a tall, fair-haired man who was a Skyrim native through and through, started the revelry with a loud chorus of _The Dragonborn Comes. _For all his surliness, Mercer Frey turned out to be a surprisingly good singer, and a few bottles of ale put him in a good enough mood to join in with _Ragnar the Red._ It wasn't long before the entire Guild was taking part. There was at least one representative of every race in Tamriel there, and the diversity of their cultures gave birth to a wide range of different songs, dances and old stories. Everyone, it seemed, had something to contribute- even Dar'zha, for whom it was obviously impossible to sing, managed to tell a gripping Khajiit folk tale, through Ma'rhaz translating his hand signals. It was impossible not to feel light hearted.

As Gallus laid down the pipe on which he'd been playing a hauntingly beautiful tune, he turned to me, looking inquisitive. 'What about you, Karliah? Does our newest member have anything to offer?'

Mercer nodded. 'Come one. Sing something good for us, and I'll forgive you for all your crimes against my table.'

_This guy is seriously obsessed with that damn table, _I thought, but I smiled nervously and got to my feet. I already knew what I was going to do. It was an old song, one I had been taught by my mother, one my mother had been taught by her father, one that I had often sung to myself while out on my hunting trips alone in the quiet woodlands, a soft, sad and beautiful tune that you never forgot once you had heard it. The one that I had sung to the pine thrushes. I swallowed down my nerves as every eye turned to me. I closed my eyes as I began.

'_Here amid the summer silence_

_Let me stand and close my eyes_

_As the golden strands of sunlight_

_Far above the hills do rise_

_Here I stand among the meadows_

_Dreaming of days long ago_

_In my mind I see their faces_

_All those friends I used to know_

_I recall when we were children_

_How we dreamed of going forth_

_To where battles raged like thunder_

_In the mountains of the north_

_Then the call to war came sounding_

_One that we could not deny_

_Off we marched, beneath the moonlight_

_Answering the battle's cry_

_There upon the field of bloodshed_

_Entered we a living hell_

_Screams and roars, they shook the mountains_

_Comrades all around me fell_

_Love and mercy fled forever _

_Men and women beasts became_

_Oh, I turned and fled the fury_

_Weeping tears of grief and shame_

_Now I dream of that dark nightmare_

_For those days of peace I yearn_

_And I pray for my lost comrades_

_Warriors who'll not return.'_

There was dead silence as I finished. I looked around apprehensively at the rows of unblinking eyes that were fixated on me, waiting for someone to speak. When nobody did, I slowly sank back down into my seat.

Gallus was the first to break the silence.

'I don't think I've ever heard anything so beautiful in my life.'

I blushed furiously.

'Damn onions,' Delvin agreed, and rubbed his eyes.

Silence fell again.

* * *

I always think of Gallus when I sing that song.

I wish there was some way to feed that tune into the pages of this book, so that you might hear its beauty for yourself. But I cannot. Believe me, it is indeed beautiful. Beautiful and sad. Sad because any memory of Gallus is sad. And sad for itself, as well. Its words speak of a harsh truth. There are many who seek war and battle and excitement in their lives, yet come away half destroyed by it.

I sing it sometimes, when I'm alone. I picture the peaceful meadows, golden in the light of the sun. I see the eager young warriors, going forth to what they believe to be glory and wonder. I see them find the truth- Oblivion on Nirn.

For mortals will always fight, always kill, always destroy. This is the truth of the nature of the ten races. Be you elf, man or beast, it cannot be escaped. No matter how many of us there are that seek peace and friendship, there will always be those whose hearts harbour nothing but ambition and greed.

And when greed and ambition picks up a sword, everything ends.

Not just lives.

Love too.

* * *

**That song is completely, utterly and entirely mine. If anyone copies it… I will be very, very angry.**

**I used artistic licence with Riftweald Manor itself, but the tunnel is accurately described.**

**Reviews make me write faster! Hint, hint…**


	10. Trust

CHAPTER NINE

'Karliah! You're on my tail!'

I lifted my foot, and Ma'rhaz pulled his tail away with a pained hiss. 'Sorry,' I whispered, over the sound of Dar'zha's quickly supressed giggling.

'For once, somebody apart from me does something clumsy,' Thjon muttered, grinning.

'Ssh,' I told him, glancing anxiously around at the still, silent woodlands. 'They'll hear us.' This was the first time I'd been put in charge of a mission, and I wanted it to go well. It was essential we were as quiet as possible if we were going to succeed.

'Them?' Thjon scoffed. 'Not likely. Those idiots wouldn't hear a roaring bear if it was standing right in front of them.' He snorted scornfully.

'I'm not taking risks,' I snapped, peering over the top of the bush we were hiding behind warily.

Dar'zha started talking in his strange sign-language, and Ma'rhaz watched him carefully before turning to us. 'He says that he thinks they're in that cluster of trees.' He pointed to a group of dark, shady pines, stark and black against the other trees with their light gold leaves.

'How many?' I asked.

Dar'zha's ears flicked towards the pines for a moment, and his eyes narrowed. After a few moments of fierce concentration, he held up three fingers.

'Three,' I muttered. 'So, they've left it lightly guarded. If we could split them up and lure them off, we could easily get it.'

'Sounds like a plan,' Thjon said. He cracked his knuckles, clearly eager to get going.

'Wait,' I commanded, holding up a hand. 'If most of their force hasn't been left on guard duty, they must be out in the woods somewhere, looking for our base. We need to make sure there isn't anyone near before we try anything.'

Dar'zha shook his head and signalled a few times. 'It's clear,' Ma'rhaz translated. 'The nearest is too far away to bother us.'

Marvelling at Dar'zha's amazing sense of hearing, I ducked down behind the bush again. 'OK, then. A plan of attack. The first thing is to draw some of them away. Any ideas?'

'Make some noise and hope they go towards it,' Thjon suggested instantly.

'Won't they be expecting something like that?' I asked, raising one eyebrow. 'They know how we think, and they're going to be thinking the same way.'

Ma'rhaz looked worried. 'I hope they won't try to pull the same trick on our teammates.'

Thjon shook his head. 'We left Elandine in charge, remember? She's far too smart to fall for something like that.'

'Then _they_ won't be either,' I pointed out, gesturing to the pines.

Dar'zha frowned before sweeping his hands around to indicate the four of us, then making a sharp cutting movement with one hand and raising one eyebrow.

'What does he say?' I asked Ma'rhaz. I was slowly beginning to learn Dar'zha's signal-speak, but beyond a few basic words, nobody in the Guild could understand him, except for his endlessly loyal twin brother.

'He says we could just attack.'

I shook my head. 'That's too haphazard. We outnumber them, but they may have left traps for us.'

'Haphazard never did anyone any harm,' Thjon shrugged.

'Says the man who stuffed up Mercer's mission by breaking a plate and making everyone realise you were there,' I pointed out dryly. 'I seem to remember that you were put on washing-up duty for three weeks after that little incident.'

He blushed. 'That was an accident.'

'Obviously,' I smirked. 'You've got all the stealth skills of a maddened, rampaging sabre cat.'

A frown crossed Thjon's face.

'This one would advise you not to argue. Little as I like to admit it, I'm afraid Karliah speaks the truth,' Ma'rhaz told Thjon apologetically. It was well known in the Guild that though he might be able pick a lock faster than Delvin could down a mug of mead, sneaking was not, and never would be, the clumsy Nord's strong point.

Thjon's frown deepened. Worried that I'd offended him, I was about to apologise for my bluntness, when he spoke up hesitantly. 'Hold on. I think that might work.'

'What?' I asked, confused.

'What you said just now, about the sabre cat.'

'What, we get a maddened, rampaging sabre cat to distract them?' Ma'rhaz looked at him in bafflement, and Dar'zha sniggered.

'No, not a sabre cat,' Thjon said patiently. 'But we could make it sound as if there was one. Or one of us could.' He looked at Dar'zha.

I realised what he meant immediately. Dar'zha might not be able to speak, but it seemed that he could imitate any and every animal that had ever set foot- or hoof, wing or fin, for that matter- on Nirn. It was almost unnerving. On more than one occasion over the year and a half I'd been with the Guild, I'd been rudely awoken or interrupted in my conversation by the sound of a savage roar so realistic it often made me jump, even when I knew it was him.

Dar'zha's eyes lit up as he understood, and a mischievous look stole over his face. Without a backwards glance, he turned and raced off into the woods, vanishing from sight in seconds, Ma'rhaz, as ever, one step behind him. A moment later, an earsplitting roar rang through the forest, sending birds fluttering up in panic and alarm from the trees. I grinned as I saw that one of them was a pine thrush.

'All right,' I murmured to Thjon. 'We'll wait until we're sure some of them have gone to deal with the-' I gave a fake cough- 'sabre cat. Then we sneak up on them and grab the target. Should be simple enough.' My teammate nodded.

We waited until the roar came again, further off this time. I heard the sounds of feet crunching on dead leaves and hoped that Dar'zha and Ma'rhaz were luring our opponents away from the treasure they were guarding, the treasure it was our mission to steal- at any cost.

'All right,' I told Thjon. 'We're going in. Stay low.'

He nodded, and we began to creep forwards, me gliding over the foliage on the ground as silently as a cat, Thjon tramping forwards like a blind, lame beggar.

'Will you stop snapping every twig we come across?' I hissed angrily, before we'd gone three paces.

'Sorry,' he muttered sullenly. 'I'm trying.'

'Try harder!' I snapped shortly. 'I thought you were Delvin's protégé. Didn't he teach you anything?'

'Sure, Delvin taught me everyth-' he began loyally, then suddenly snapped off the word as he stepped on a large, half rotten branch. The loud crack it made echoed through the woods, and I heard the sound of people leaping to their feet up ahead.

'Clearly, 'everything' wasn't enough,' I told Thjon with a heavy sigh. 'You've really done it now.'

A moment later, two dark figures crashed through the trees and, without a moment's hesitation, hurled themselves upon us. I was bowled over as one of them cannoned into me at full speed, but I grabbed hold of my attacker's wrist as I fell and pulled her down with me. For a moment, we rolled over on the ground, then my training in unarmed combat kicked in. As she struggled to get on top of me, I allowed myself to go limp, as if giving up. The moment I felt her relax, I brought up my legs and kicked hard into her stomach, sending her reeling backwards. I followed up the blow by grabbing hold of her arms and throwing her onto her side with a quick twist. As she lay winded, I turned to help Thjon, who was struggling under the weight of his own opponent, who was half his size but double his speed. Grabbing hold of the enemy's shoulders, I pulled him onto the ground and dealt him a sharp kick to the stomach before leaping back, ready to deal whichever of them was quickest to recover. The first of the two got up first, but Thjon jumped into her way as she threw herself at me, pushing her onto the forest floor and pinning her down.

'Hey! Stop! We've got it! We won!'

With a crash of branches, the twins burst from the pines. Dar'zha was brandishing a painted flag above his head, and both were grinning wildly. Ma'rhaz looked at Thjon with mild amusement. 'Ma'rhaz thinks you can let Vex go now, Thjon.'

Thjon got up, brushing dead leaves from his armour. Vex, a feisty teenage Imperial who'd joined us a few weeks before I had, hauled herself up and kicked the ground angrily. 'I told Mercer we should have left it more heavily guarded!' she spat furiously.

'It was only a trainin' exercise,' Delvin told her with a shrug. 'We'll beat 'em next time.' He massaged the place where I'd kicked him and gave me a rueful grin. 'Remind me never to get on your bad side.'

Dar'zha reeled off a series of gestures, and Ma'rhaz nodded. 'I agree, brother. This exercise was most enjoyable.'

'Only because you won!' Vex looked furious- whether with us, with Mercer's bad organisation of her team, or with herself, I wasn't sure.

'It would have been great even if we'd lost,' Thjon pointed out. Clumsy though he might be, he was an expert at pouring oil on troubled waters. 'I mean, it got us working as a team, it tested our planning and organisational skills, and we got some good experience of what might happen when we're out on jobs. You have to admit, Gallus has some pretty good training ideas.'

It was true. Every so often, Gallus would take us all out of the Flagon- new and old members alike. He'd divide us into teams and set us a task that we had to try and complete before the other side. Sometimes it would be carried out in the city, among the unsuspecting citizens- in such cases, we'd be in civilian clothes, and we'd have to steal a certain item without the unwary people of Riften seeing a thing. On other occasions, such as this, we'd be in the woods. Gallus, occasionally with Mercer helping him, would watch us all and judge our skills to see what we were doing well, and what needed improving. This, in my opinion, had been one of the best so far. We'd been split up and stationed at opposite ends of the forest, and a flag had been given to each team. We'd been told that our objective was to capture the opponent's flag before they got ours. The only other rule was that we were not to fight with weapons or magic, for fear of injuring each other. It was a test of our teamwork, organisation and stealth- and best of all, I'd been put in charge of my team.

'Yeah, but he seems to have a new training idea every bloody week,' Delvin grumbled, jolting me out of my thoughts and back to the present. 'When are we ever going to need to steal flags?'

'Well,' came an amused, smooth voice from nearby, 'you may never need to steal flags, but if you're in command of a group mission, then you'll need to be able to take charge of your group and make decisions that decide whether you fail or succeed. If you're a group member, you'll need to be able to put forward your own ideas and know when to obey your leader's orders and when to challenge them. Everyone will need to know how to work together. And it was also a good practice of your stealth skills.'

I looked all around, but couldn't see where the voice was coming from. I sighed. 'Gallus, how many times do I have to tell you? If you're going to talk to us, do it from where we can actually see you,' I called, rolling my eyes.

'As you wish.' There was a rustling of leaves, followed by a loud thump as our Guildmaster dropped to the ground from high above us.

'You always have to make an entrance, don't you?' Delvin folded his arms.

'Of course,' Gallus replied casually. 'Mercer's team should be here soon, by the way.'

A few minutes later, Mercer emerged from the trees, the rest of his defeated team trailing behind him. Elandine and my own team arrived not long after.

'Did we win?' Ahsla's daughter, Tonilia, asked excitedly. She was only about thirteen, but she had skill in the making of the Guild armour that rivalled her mother's.

'We won,' I affirmed, and she punched the air with both fists. Elandine said nothing, but I noticed a small smirk flicker over her face for a fraction of a second.

'I told you it was a bad idea to leave just me, Del and Elruen guarding our flag,' Vex spat at Mercer, glaring at him irately. 'We should've had more people.'

Elruen, a young Bosmer- the one I'd pickpocketed the day I'd joined the Guild- shot a poisonous look at Dar'zha. 'That was you roaring, wasn't it?'

For answer, Dar'zha grinned, and let out a thunderous bellow that made Tonilia leap back in alarm. 'Stop _doing _that!' she hissed, and Dar'zha winked cheekily.

'All right, everyone. Enough squabbling. Skills evaluation.' Gallus sat cross-legged on the ground, and the rest of us did the same. 'First- both teams had good tactics, though I think Mercer showed poor judgement when he left his flag so lightly guarded.'

'All right, I know,' Mercer growled. One of the many things he couldn't stand was being shown up- especially not by me.

'However, you tracked down the position of Karliah's base extremely well, and your plan of attack was well thought through,' Gallus continued, as if he hadn't spoken. 'You would probably have succeeded, had it not been for Elandine's fierce counter-attack.'

'Not to mention the pitfall traps. Those were my idea,' Tonilia chipped in, grinning.

I realised that several members of Mercer's team had large streaks of dirt on their armour. Ahsla, in fact, was still picking roots out of her hair. I grinned. 'Good one, kid,' I whispered, and Tonilia beamed at me.

'They were indeed very effective,' Gallus agreed, his everlasting smile widening slightly.

'They cheated, though. She dug them with magic. You said magic wasn't allowed,' Elruen pointed out.

Mercer nodded. 'So it should be a draw.'

'No, he said that _fighting _with magic wasn't allowed,' Elandine smirked. 'He said nothing about digging holes.'

'True, I'm afraid,' Gallus told Mercer apologetically. The Breton scowled. It always amused me about the two of them. They were the greatest of friends, and yet they could not possibly have been more different. Gallus never seemed to stop smiling. Mercer never seemed to stop scowling. Still, odd match though they were, together they had made the Guild greater than it had ever been before.

'Karliah, your leadership skills were admirable. Enviable, in fact. You organised your team efficiently and you located Mercer's base with ease. You made the right decision when you chose to leave most of your force to guard your flag and take only a small number with you on the attack- after all, the fewer people in your group, the easier it is to stay hidden.'

I smiled. I had been taught that by my mother, and I had no doubt that Gallus had been too.

'She shouldn't have taken me, though,' Thjon muttered unhappily. 'She was right. I've got the sneaking skills of a three-year-old.'

'There's definitely room for improvement,' Gallus agreed gently. 'But your combat skills were commendable.'

'That's why I brought you along with me,' I told him. 'In case we had to do any fighting. And I was right, wasn't I?'

'Maybe, but he's gonna be needing some more lessons when we get back,' Delvin said firmly. 'No student of the master of sneaking blunders around the woods like a fox in a fit.'

Thjon looked even more downcast, and Gallus gave Delvin a warning glance, as if reminding him to go easy on his apprentice. Delvin rolled his eyes.

'You did well too, Vex.' Gallus gave her an encouraging nod. 'And Dar'zha, the sabre cat trick worked wonders. Well done for suggesting it, Thjon.'

Thjon perked up a little at that, and Dar'zha flicked his ears in a self-satisfied way.

'All in all, a most successful mission,' Gallus told us all, getting to his feet. 'I think we had best go back to the Flagon and get ourselves a drink. You've earned it.'

As we collected any equipment we'd left behind, Gallus sauntered over to me. 'Well done,' he murmured. 'For your first time in leading a group, that was an extremely good performance. You've learned well.'

I shrugged. 'I had two very good teachers.'

His smile grew even wider.

'I'm gonna have to play my cards right around you,' Delvin grinned at me as we started the return to Riften. 'If you keep on like this, I've a feelin' I'm gonna be calling you 'Boss' one day.'

* * *

I left the Flagon as the sun reached its zenith, wandering into the marketplace in order to get away from the rowdy Flagon for a while. It was quieter than usual- probably because it was a Sundas, meaning everyone except the most persistent traders was either at home or in the temple of Mara. I cast my eye over the weapons stall, but the bad-tempered merchant appeared to be in an even worse mood than usual, so I decided to make do with what I had for now- even though she did have an exquisitely beautiful glass dagger for sale. I could have stolen it, of course, but I was still slightly tired after the action-packed morning, and couldn't be bothered to make the effort.

Avoiding the town guard who shot me a look of death as I walked past him – it was the one who'd been guarding the gate the day I'd come to Riften, and he'd never forgiven me for the apple-slicing thing- I strolled seemingly aimlessly into a small alley. I smiled as I realised just how well I knew my way around now. I knew everything worth knowing about Riften- which houses were worth breaking into, and which ones didn't have two Septim to be stolen, which guards were willing to turn a blind eye to crimes for a bribe, which guards wouldn't, and which couldn't be less bothered about the actions of thieves- even if their helmets were stolen right from their heads. I knew where all the traders kept their money, which houses had locks that were easily picked, where the safest bolt-holes and hiding places were if you had guards or angry citizens on your trail and were too far away to make it back to the Flagon. I looked around, glowing inside. _This is my home, _I thought with satisfaction. _This is where I belong._

As I walked past the temple, I became aware of a curious feeling, as if I was being watched. I stopped, and just for a moment, I heard footsteps that came to an abrupt halt only an instant after I stopped walking. My skin prickled slightly, and I surreptitiously flicked my ears backwards, trying to pinpoint the location of the sound as I began walking again. Listening with all my strength, I managed to make out the sound of a stealthy yet heavy tread, coming from a few metres behind me. I stopped, pretending to be examining a nearby stall. The footsteps stopped. I began walking again. So did my follower. I smiled slyly and stopped a second time, feigning interest in the wares being sold by Madesi, the Argonian jewellery trader, keeping my ears angled towards whoever was tailing me. This wasn't a Guild member- we never practiced on each other in the open unless we'd been instructed to, and everyone knew me well enough not to mistake me for a citizen. And their sneaking needed a bit of work, too. Still, if I hadn't spent my entire life in the company of thieves, I probably wouldn't have realised they were there.

I realised that the would-be thief was beginning to creep closer to me. I didn't look around until I felt a light touch on my pocket. Then I whirled around and grasped hold of the culprit's wrist, holding on as tight as I could so that he couldn't wriggle away. Gallus had taught me how to do that a long time ago- it was an essential trick to learn, if you were going to live anywhere near Dar'zha. I found myself looking into the defiant gaze of a red-haired Nord, about my own age, who had been about to reach into my pocket. The guards glanced our way for a second, then carried on with their business without giving the scene a second glance.

I love Riften sometimes.

He tried to pull away, but I held firm. On any other day, I'd probably have handed him over to the guards, but I was so pleased about my success that morning that I decided to have a little fun with him instead. 'Something you wanted?' I inquired, raising an eyebrow and smiling sweetly.

To my surprise, his response was to grin widely. 'A hundred Septims or so wouldn't go down badly, lass.'

'Oh, is that so?' I asked, amused. 'I'm afraid your technique needs a little work, if you're planning to get it.'

'Well, I'm always ready to listen to advice,' he replied glibly. 'I'd like that hand back, though.'

I released his wrist, expecting him to dash off without a backwards glance. To my surprise, he stayed, leaning casually against the side of the stall. 'So, spill the beans, then. What's wrong with my _technique?' _He drew out the last word, as if making fun of it.

'How long have you got?' I queried.

'I'm hoping about fifty years or so, lass. More if possible.'

I swallowed back laughter. 'Well, for a start, the whole stopping-whenever-I-stopped thing was a complete giveaway. And you breathed too loudly. And you tread too heavily- you need to be a lot lighter on your feet. And I could feel you trying to get into my pocket. It was empty, by the way.'

'Just my luck.' The Nord gave a pretend sigh.

'Never rely on luck,' I told him warningly. 'You can't depend upon something that fickle.'

He took a step backwards, looking me up and down. I held his gaze, and we stood in silence for a few seconds.

'You're Thieves Guild,' he said finally.

'Perhaps,' I replied evasively.

'I'd like to join.'

I looked at him in surprise. It was unusual for someone to request entry to a Guild member, rather than being approached and asked if they'd like to join. But then again, I thought, as I examined him, this Nord showed promise. Only a professional thief would have noticed him sneaking up on them. If he'd chosen anyone else in the marketplace but me, I doubt he'd have been caught. He had promise, and he had talent- and he had quite a nerve, as well.

'Oh, really?' I crossed my arms across my chest. 'And why's that?'

'Well, if my technique needs a little work, who better to lend a hand?'

I studied him for a moment more, then decided I might as well bring him to the Flagon and see what Gallus and Mercer thought of him. 'I'll take you to our headquarters,' I told him finally. 'But I can't promise anything.'

He dipped his head. 'Fine with me. Lead the way, lass.'

I nodded. 'Name's Karliah, by the way.'

He frowned. I could see him judging me in his head, whether or not to trust me. I understood his motives. For a thief, your name is something valuable, something you don't give away unless you have no choice.

'Brynjolf,' he said at last.

'Pleasure to meet you, Brynjolf,' I told him. 'This way.'

* * *

'So what do you think of him?'

Gallus nodded, looking appreciative. 'A very good find. Skilled with a dagger as well as a lockpick, light touch, and not a bad head on his shoulders, too. You did well to find him.'

I laughed. 'He found me, more like. I caught him trying to pull a Dar'zha on me.'

My leader chuckled. 'The others seem to like him, too,' he commented, watching Brynjolf as he introduced himself to Delvin over a mug of mead. 'It looks like Delvin's found a new drinking partner.'

'So, are you going to keep him?'

He frowned, considering, before nodding. 'Yes, I think so. He's got a lot of potential. I can see a good future for him in the Guild.'

'That's good news. I think he's got a lot to offer us.' I grinned. 'Going to send him round to Riftweald Manor for his recruitment task? Or do you think we should give Mercer a break?'

Gallus laughed. 'I'll see if I can find something else for him. Mercer's never forgiven either of us for what happened to that precious table of his.'

'I'm sure Brynjolf won't have any trouble with whatever you decide to make him do. He seems pretty capable.'

'Indeed.' A thoughtful expression crept into his eyes. 'Presuming, of course, that he gets in, what would you say to taking over the most part of his training?'

I turned to him, eyes wide in astonishment. 'Me? Really?'

'Of course. Who else? Delvin's got his hands full with Thjon, and Mercer's busy with Vex. And I've taught you all you can. You've got the skills of people in the Guild who've been here twice as long as you have. It's about time you had a protégé of your own.'

Stunned and delighted, I nodded vigorously. 'Thank you. I'd be honoured to take him on. I… I won't let you down.'

'I know. I trust you, Karliah.' He gave me a final smile and sauntered away to break the news to Brynjolf.

I stared after him in amazement. I could hardly believe that he'd chosen me for such a big responsibility. And yet he had. To know that he thought me capable was perhaps the greatest privilege I could possibly have been given. To have him trust me like this…

I swallowed hard, resolve flooding through me. I closed my eyes, drew in a deep breath, and made a solemn oath in my mind. An oath that, no matter how hard it might be, no matter what the cost, I would prove myself worthy of his trust.

* * *

**Not so much action this chapter, but I just wanted to give an insight into Guild life. And to bring in Brynjolf, of course. I couldn't leave him out any longer.**

**Please review!**


	11. Lost

CHAPTER TEN

I remember the day everything changed as if it were yesterday.

The day that I lost half of my life.

The day that he helped me to rebuild it.

The day that, with him by my side, I left one life behind, and entered another.

Because it always was like that. We were always together. He was the light that led my way. He comforted me in my grief. He strengthened me in my fear. And I did the same for him.

And that was right.

That was beautiful.

That was how it was meant to be.

That was how it should have been.

That was how it could have been.

And I think, perhaps, it all began that day.

I hear my own cry. I hear it, sharp and clear as it rips from my throat, ringing through the air, echoing on the walls, filled with pain and denial. I see his tears, silent tears, tears shed for my grief as much as for his own. His voice whispers in my ear, soft and gentle as ever, begging forgiveness. _'I'm sorry, Karliah. Believe me. I am truly sorry.'_

I thought then that my entire life had been shattered. That the world had been pulled out from under my feet. That everything I had known- or that I had _thought _I had known- had been a lie. But it had not. For had it not happened, no matter how painful it was, I would never have become who I am…

And had I not, we might never have known each other's hearts.

I might never have loved him.

And I wouldn't exchange his love for anything. Not even for the entire world.

Not even for the life of the only other person I ever loved.

* * *

The sun was setting behind the jagged, fearsome mountains, dappling the beautiful pale evening sky in streaks of golden amber, blood red, rose pink and midnight blue. The delicate wisps of high cloud were stained slate grey and stormy purple, as if the Divines themselves had reached up with giant hands and painted thin, frail lines across the heavens. Dark pines stood like watchmen along the side of the road, seeming to gently stroke the sky with their pointed tips as one might stroke a dog. The quiet, playful breeze whistled through their branches, carrying leaves and flakes of frost into the air.

My horse's hooves sent up clouds of snow into the air as I cantered along the road at full speed. One pace behind me came Brynjolf on his own steed, brow creased in determination. As he neared me, I frowned and urged my mount forward with a gentle squeeze of my legs. 'Go on, Raven, go!'

The stallion tossed his head eagerly and pressed forwards with all the speed he could muster. Brynjolf grinned and slapped his mare on the side of her neck, encouraging her. I twisted around in the saddle and shouted back to him. 'Give it up!'

'Not on your life, lass! I'll be seeing in you in the Flagon!' His dark brown mare, Bryony- so named because everyone liked the sound of Brynjolf and Bryony- put on a burst of speed and managed to overtake me.

'You wish!' I gave Raven a small kick, and he galloped onwards with renewed effort, panting hard. The two horses, bay and black, raced forward, neck and neck, their lithe, muscular bodies gleaming in the light from the dying sun.

The two of us had been training in a snowbound Dawnstar. Everyone was set a mission in a town outside of Riften at some point, for nobody there took any notice of thieves. Thieves were part of the city, just like the mead and the fishing. Stealing had been going on for so long and with such persistence that it was hardly a crime any more. But elsewhere in Skyrim, things were different, and it was the ultimate test of our abilities, stealth, cunning and initiative to pull off a major crime in a city that wasn't so lenient when it came to people who were found breaking the law. This time, it had been simple- Brynjolf had been assigned the task of breaking into a house, stealing an item, and escaping without being caught. With cockiness and overconfidence that was typical Brynjolf all over, he'd chosen the guard house. Somehow- I was still trying to work out exactly how he'd managed to pull it off- he'd gently taken the helmets from the heads of each and every guard without any of them seeing a thing.

I was revelling in my mentoring of Brynjolf. Not only was an able student, succeeding in almost everything he turned his hand to, he was somehow able to make light of even the most grim and tense of situations. He was the source of most of the laughter in the Flagon these days. He still had a lot to learn, but I could tell that it wouldn't take long at all to teach it to him. He learned at lightning speed. He'd be a fully-fledged member before long.

_Quick learner he might be, _I thought grimly, _but I'm not letting him beat me back. _I whispered encouragement into Raven's ear and very slowly, I began to draw ahead.

'You're not winning that easily!' I yelled, and he narrowed his eyes.

The snow grew thicker and thicker and faster and faster with every step our horses took. It wasn't long before it was a full-blown snowstorm. We thundered along the road with it whirling around us, the wind whipping flurries of freezing white flakes into our faces. Hooves pounded and the few birds that were brave enough to leave their nests fluttered away in alarm as we crashed past them.

The lights of the stables started to shine through the blizzard. I pointed. 'First one to make it wins!'

'Challenge accepted, lass!' Brynjolf goaded Bryony on with a light tap and he started to get ahead of me. Thinking fast, I whipped around and pointed at something behind me.

'What's that?' I shouted, sounding panicked.

'What's what?' Bryn twisted around in the saddle, peering through the swirling whiteness, and in the second he was distracted I galloped past him and skidded to a halt on the icy ground outside the stable door. I leaped out of the saddle and slapped the wall, grinning triumphantly at Brynjolf.

'I believe that's a win for me!' I shouted jubilantly.

'Hey, no fair, lass. You tricked me!'

'And you fell for it!'

'Fair enough.'

We led our horses into the stables, making sure they were well sheltered from the howling wind and relentless snow flurries, and started back towards Riften, chatting amiably as we went. I loved these days with the Guild, the days of brightness and peace and happiness. The carefree days, the magical days, the days when I knew who I was and where I belonged.

If only they had lasted longer.

The guards blocked us with their swords as we approached the gates. 'Password?' one of them growled in a voice that couldn't have possibly made it more obvious that he would rather have been anywhere else in all Skyrim than in the middle of this snowstorm.

Clearly this was their newest way of trying to squeeze a few Septim out of gullible travellers. I shot Brynjolf a look of pretend horror. 'Brynjolf, I've forgotten the password!'

He caught on instantly. 'Shor's bones, what are we going to do now?'

'We might just have to guess,' I said. 'How about, 'let us in before we contact the Dark Brotherhood?''

'Good idea, lass, but I don't think that's going to get us through.' Frowning in mock distress, he turned to the guards. 'I've an idea- 'open the gates or we'll have to make you.''

'Mmm, it's good, but it's not quite right.' I grinned at the nearest of the two guards. 'I know. What do you say to, 'I still have other things to slice?'' My hand strayed to my dagger.

'All right, we're letting you in.' The guards fumbled with the bolt. 'No need to get tetchy.'

'Tetchy? Us? What on Nirn gives you that idea, lad?' Brynjolf gave him an innocent smile as we strolled past him and into the snow-coated streets.

There is something magical about a snowbound city. It is as if a place normally bustling and crowded has fallen under an enchantment. The streets were silent, the soft, newly-fallen blanket of snow pure and unbroken. Apart from a crow sitting preening itself upon the roof of the temple of Mara- its black feathers stark against the ivory-coloured landscape- nothing was moving. It was as if all of Riften had been frozen in time as well as in ice.

Our feet crunching as we went, we made our way through the deserted marketplace and into the graveyard. The silence was even deeper here, unbroken by anything except for our footsteps. It was almost eerie, to be in a place belonging to the dead, with twilight fast wrapping the world in a deep indigo blanket and hardly any sound at all disturbing the peace.

And then the stillness was shattered without warning by a desperate cry of mingled relief and fright.

'Karliah! Brynjolf! Thank Talos you're back!'

Thjon emerged from the secret entrance, eyes wide with panic. He was breathing hard and I could tell instantly that something was deeply, terribly wrong.

'Thjon? What's up?' Brynjolf reached for his knife- clearly, he had drawn the same conclusion as I had.

'We need you in the Flagon. Now.' Thjon swallowed. 'It's Gallus and Mercer.'

I felt a chill sweep over me. 'What about them? What's happened?'

Thjon's green eyes were alight with anxiety. 'They've gone missing.'

I stared at him in horror. 'What… what do you mean?'

'I _mean,_ they're gone. As in, not here. Vanished. Disappeared. Departed. Dematerialised._ I mean they've gone missing!'_

The young Nord was beginning to get hysterical, and I felt my insides clenching. 'All right. We're coming.'

I pulled open the trapdoor and jumped down, not bothering to climb the ladder. I had expected the Cistern to be in an uproar, but instead, a deathly hush had fallen over it. The younger members were standing around the edges, fidgeting nervously, while the more senior members were huddled in the centre where the four bridges met, whispering urgently.

'What's happened? Where did they go?' I demanded, striding forwards.

'We don't know.' Elandine's usually expressionless face was clouded with worry.

'Who saw them last?' I was surprised at my own fear. Gallus and Mercer were skilled warriors. They could look after themselves. And they almost certainly weren't in any danger- were they?

'I did.' It was Ahsla, standing slightly separate to the other senior members, her arm around Tonilia's shoulers.

'And where were they?'

Ahsla bit her lip. 'I was out with them on a small break-in. They told me to stand guard while they went to investigate the area, in case there were any guards around. They were taking some time, so I went to look for them- and they'd gone.'

'And nobody's seen them since then?'

They all shook their heads.

I turned to Ahsla. 'Was this before or after the snow settled?'

'Before,' she said ruefully.

I responded with nothing more than a terse nod, but mentally I was groaning. If they had left after the snow, they might have left tracks.

'There were no signs of a struggle? You didn't hear any fighting?'

'No, and there was nobody around except for the three of us. There was nothing. I'm telling you, it was like they just vanished.'

I nodded slowly. 'So… if they're both gone, who's in charge?'

I looked expectantly at Elandine, Ahsla and Delvin, waiting for one of them to start giving orders. When nobody spoke up, I noticed they were all staring in the same direction. I turned around to see who they were looking at.

There was nobody there.

I looked back at them.

'Why are you all staring at me?' I asked nervously.

They kept on staring.

'No.' I shook my head firmly. 'No, you cannot be serious.'

Still staring. In fact, the entire Cistern was staring at me.

'Stop looking at me like that! There is no way I am taking charge. I've only been here-'

'Two years,' Elandine interrupted, 'two years during which Gallus has done practically nothing except sing your praises.' There was not a trace of resentment in her voice, just mild statement of the facts.

'She's right, Karliah,' Ahsla agreed quietly. 'And don't forget all the times that Gallus and Mercer have asked your advice. And every mission you've taken charge of has exceeded expectations without exception.'

'Try saying that when you're drunk,' Delvin muttered.

'Seeing as you've managed to function whilst drunk for most of your life, that shouldn't be too hard for you,' Elandine hissed back.

Usually I'd have laughed, but right now I didn't think I'd ever been in a less funny situation. 'But practically everyone here has more experience than me.'

'With the Guild, maybe. But remind me who your mother was? Remind me how old you were when you started learning the art of stealing?' Ahsla raised an eyebrow slightly. 'The Guild's not about age, nor is it about how long someone's been a member. It's about intelligence and talent and skill.'

I looked around at the others for appeal. But none of them- not the twins, not Thjon, not Vex, not Elruen, not any of the others- did anything except continue looking expectantly at me.

It was Brynjolf that finally persuaded me. 'Lass, we all trust you. I may not have been here long, but I think I can speak for all of us when I say that we respect you and look to you for guidance. If Gallus isn't here and Mercer is missing, you're giving the orders.'

I drew in a deep, shaky breath, composed myself, and nodded. 'All right. OK. Right. Ma'rhaz and Dar'zha, go out into the city. Ahsla, go with them. Go to where you last saw Gallus and Mercer and look for tracks, signs, anything that might give us some clue as to where they've gone. Stay alert and don't take any risks. Come back the moment you find anything. Don't stay out for more than an hour.'

I waited for them to question this, but to my surprise they simply nodded and departed without a backwards glance. I turned to the others. 'Brynjolf, go and guard the Ratway entrance. Thjon, you take the one in the graveyard. I don't think we're in danger, but we can't be too careful.'

The two Nords nodded briefly and dashed off in opposite directions.

'The rest of you…' I swallowed and turned to face them. 'You're not doing any good standing around. Get back to whatever it was you were doing- but if anyone knows anything about where Gallus and Mercer might have gone, tell me now.'

They all shook their heads.

'All right. Go and get a drink or something.'

'Karliah.' As the others began to disperse, Elandine's voice came from behind me, quiet and uncertain. This was unheard of from the confident High Elf, and it was with trepidation that I turned to look at her.

'Elandine? What is it?'

She looked nervous. I was growing more concerned with every passing second. When Elandine is nervous, you know there is a cause for worry.

'It might be nothing.' She looked at the floor. 'But this isn't the first time.'

I stared at her. 'Not the first…? What do you mean?'

'It's happened before. Back when Draws-His-Blade was leading us. Sometimes, he and Gallus would just leave. They never said anything about why, though they often said that they would be back soon and there wasn't any cause for worry. Sometimes, when they came back, they were injured. We asked them about it. They never said anything except that it was nothing to worry about.' Her face was grim. 'In fact, they did it the day that Blade died. They went off, and when Gallus came back, he was carrying Blade's body.'

My heart began to race. 'How many times did this happen?'

'I don't know. Three, four, maybe five. Not often. I thought maybe they were training. I mean, Blade was Gallus's mentor. I didn't think it'd happen again after he died.'

I buried my face in my hands for a moment, trying to seek a momentary escape from reality while I gathered my thoughts. 'All right. This might or might not be connected. We can't rule anything in or anything out.'

Elandine nodded. 'What do you think we should do?'

I shrugged, shaking my head slightly. 'I'm not sure there's anything that we _can_ do, except wait and pray that they're all right and that they come back. With luck, Ahsla and the twins will find something.'

'I hope so.' Elandine nodded. In a lower voice, she added, 'If we can't find them, you mustn't blame yourself. You're handling this as well as anyone could, and no one is going to hold you responsible for this.'

I nodded, grateful for her support.

'Is there anything else I can do?' she asked after a moment of silence.

'Yeah,' I said wearily. 'Go and get me a drink. Mug of ale or something.'

Elandine laughed, clapped me on the back and set of for the bar. I collapsed onto one of the crates that lay in piles around the room. Thoughts were teeming inside my mind, so hard and fast it was hard to separate one from the other.

Why? Why would Gallus and Mercer just leave, without a word to anyone? I felt like I was nine years old again, watching my mother sneak away. It was as if my memories had returned to haunt me. I trusted Gallus, and Mercer too, just as I trusted my mother. Gallus was our leader, and Mercer was our second. We all depended on them. Why would they abandon us?

An hour crawled by, slow, monotonous, as if taunting me by trying to last as long as it could, with my worry increasing with every minute. It seemed like years before Dar'zha, Ma'rhaz and Ahsla returned, covered in a fine dusting of snow and shivering with cold.

'Did you find anything?' I demanded, leaping to my feet.

I could tell what their answer would be from their dejected expressions before any of them said a word. 'There was nothing. We looked all over Riften. The snow's covering everything.' Ahsla spoke the words softly, but they were filled with bitterness and dissapointment.

I crumpled back down onto the crate with my head in my hands. Could it really have only been little more than an hour ago that I had been racing Brynjolf back to the stables, laughing, carefree, with no worries at all?

'Karliah?' Ma'rhaz sounded worried, and I quickly looked up.

'Don't worry. I'm sure you did all you could. Thank you for trying.'

They all nodded and turned to leave. Ahsla gave me a sad smile as she started to walk away and I suddenly remembered that she had been in the Guild for longer than anyone else here. If anyone knew about Gallus's strange vanishings with Blade, it would be her.

'Ahsla? Can I have a word?'

The Redguard woman looked at me in mingled confusion and surprise, but nodded and took a seat on the crate next to me.

'Elandine told me that this has happened before,' I began. 'Back when Draws-His-Blade was Guildmaster. Apparently he and Gallus disappeared like this quite a few times, and they were often wounded when they returned. Blade died on one of these… outings. Can you confirm that?'

She nodded. 'We just assumed they were training, or else on jobs. Gallus told us Blade was killed by mercenaries, so everyone just took it for granted they were ambushed or something. But…'

'But what?'

She drew in a long, slow breath. 'It's been going on for longer than that. And your mother was involved, too.'

I stared at her in blank shock. It seemed to take every scrap of strength I could muster to choke out, 'What?'

Ahsla's gaze was firmly fixed on the floor. 'It was happening when Blade was second and your mother was still with us. They used to go out with Sereniel. She was our leader then. Wood Elf. And it was just like you said- they'd disappear without warning, and come back injured. And they never told anyone where they'd gone.'

I sat stock still, staring at Ahsla without really seeing her. I suddenly remembered that day outside our house, when she had told me about the Guild. The question I had asked her. The answer I had received.

'_When you… went off… when I was nine, did you go to see the Guild?'_

_'Yes and no.'_

And that night when I lost my innocence, what she told me before she left.

'_It's something important, something I can't avoid. I've been summoned. There's something I need to protect, me and some friends, and it's my duty to go…'_

And what she had said to me after I had found her.

_'Karliah, a long time ago, I made a pact with someone. That pact gave me great gifts, but it also means I have to guard something important, with my life, if necessary. It means that if I'm summoned to its defence, I have to go. And it also swears me to secrecy. If that oath is broken… it cannot be broken. I'm sorry, my love, but I can't tell you. By the Divines, how I wish I could. But I can't. It might be the death of us both.'_

This had been what she meant. Whatever 'this' was.

I felt my fists clenching. Anger, dark and bitter, was beginning to stir within me. I was going to have a few questions for Gallus Desidenius when he returned.

If he returned.

'Thanks, Ahsla.' I nodded to her. She seemed to understand the silent words hidden in the gesture. _Please go. I need a moment alone. _She stood up, hesitated, as if considering saying something, then turned and walked away.

What was this? What was going on? What great secret would Gallus, Mercer and my mother have that was so important that they would hide the truth even from their own Guild? From me?

How many more of the people I trusted were going to betray me?

I felt a sob threatening to rise in my throat and angrily pushed it back down. That wasn't going to help. I had to stay strong and focused. The Guild was looking to me.

But what could I do?

'Gallus,' I whispered, though I knew that, wherever he was, he could not hear me. 'Please. We need you back here. Please come back to us. Please come back.'

_Please come back to me, _I added silently, and blinked in surprise at myself.

But before I could contemplate on why I had thought those words, the Divines chose that moment to answer my prayer.

I heard the _click _of the latch of the Cistern door being lifted. With a gasp, I jumped to my feet. I saw the heads of the other Guild members turn, and I followed their gazes.

Brynjolf entered first. I could tell instantly something was wrong- as wrong as it could possibly be. His face was pale and taut with shock. His eyes met mine for the briefest of moments, then he quickly looked away.

Mercer came next. He was limping, and his dwarven sword was clutched tightly in his hand, so tightly that his knuckles had turned white. It was coated with blood. Blood. I felt my own beginning to pound in my veins.

As he entered the room, he, too, looked directly at me. His mouth opened, as if there was something he wanted to say to me. Then he swallowed hard and turned away.

Something was wrong. Something was very, very, wrong.

Gallus entered the Cistern.

His head was bowed, and he was moving slowly. A cut above one eye was seeping blood. And in his arms-

The work jerked beneath my feet. It trembled. Then it shattered into a thousand pieces and fell away.

No. No, no, no, no, no, _no-_

This could not be. This _could not be._

Gallus raised his head. He looked up at me. But unlike Mercer and Brynjolf, he did not look away. His dark brown eyes stared into mine, and for once there was no twinkle in them, no roguish glint. Only guilt and sorrow, deep, deep sorrow. And, most chillingly of all, he wasn't smiling.

I felt a cry tear itself from my throat. Completely involuntary. No words. Just a cry. A cry of horror, rage, shock, denial, and grief so deep it was beyond being grief.

Because in Gallus's arms lay a body. Unmoving. Limp. Lifeless.

And I didn't need to see the face to know who it was.

I knew from Ahsla's gasp, from the horrified expressions of those around me, from the stunned gazes of my friends, gazes that travelled away from the body and fixed themselves on me.

I knew from the way my world had just fallen apart.

I knew from the way I was breaking into pieces inside.

Because in that instant when I looked upon that body, I realised that I had just lost the only person who had ever cared for me.

I had lost the only person I had ever cared for.

I had lost my mother.


	12. Secrets

**So, here we are with Chapter Eleven. I wouldn't have made it this far without the encouragement of my reviewers, so thank you to: kiwipixel77, NvonHelvete, ay1234, YoYocrazy, Itchy-rat, writeitandsmiteit, Moojuice Nne of the Mayonnaise, The Storm-Mist account, RukiaoftheBloodMoon, Chris The Cat and a couple of guests. You guys are all amazing! And thanks to everyone who's put this story on their favourites and alerts, and in fact to anyone who's read it. You have no idea how much I appreciate it.**

**The information about Nocturnal, Evergloam and the Nightingales in this chapter comes from the Elder Scrolls Wiki. The exception is Gallus's explanation of what happens in Evergloam, which was said by Karliah at some point during gameplay. I've tried to make it all accurate, but it might not be. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me and I'll do my best to answer them.**

* * *

CHAPTER ELEVEN

I didn't realise I had started running until I stopped.

It was as if the world was beginning to shut down around me, bit by bit, shrinking until it contained only the Cistern. But it was an empty Cistern, with only three people inside it.

Two living. One dead.

I could see Gallus laying her gently down onto the floor. But it was as if I saw it from a mile away. Two miles. Ten miles. A hundred miles. It could have been an entire world away from me.

I fell to my knees beside her. There was some small part of me that was still in denial. Some part of me that expected her to open her eyes and smile up at me as I reached her.

But in my heart of hearts I knew she would not. That I had lost her forever. That she had gone, gone to where there could be no calling her back.

Gone. Lost. Nowhere to be found. The only person I loved. The only person I ever would love. Nobody would ever hold me in their arms again. Nobody would ever comfort me in times of sadness or fear. Nobody would ever call me their little Nightingale. Nobody. Never again.

Never, never, never.

'No.' The word was so warped and twisted that it was barely audible. It took me some time to work out who had said it. Then I realised that it had been me.

'Karliah.' Gallus's soft voice came from behind me. I hardly heard him say my name. 'Karliah. I'm sorry.'

I did not even look at him. There was nothing to say. What could be said? All the words in the world could not bring her back to me. Nothing could.

'No!' The word was shouted this time, echoing around the silent Cistern. I was dimly aware of the eyes of every Guild member on me as I reached forward and grasped my mother's hand. It was cold. Ice cold. Cold with death. 'Please. Mother. No.'

There was no answer. There would never be an answer. No matter how much I denied it, no matter how much I begged or pleaded, she was lost.

I had lost her.

I could feel myself crying. I did not try to stop myself. My eyes never left her face- so calm, so impossibly peaceful, as if she was merely sleeping- as I choked out the words. 'How did this happen?'

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Gallus and Mercer exchange a swift glance- so swift I almost missed it. Gallus opened his mouth, but he said nothing.

'What happened to her_?' _My head snapped around as I snarled question at Gallus, my fists clenched so tightly it hurt.

He took a half-step backwards, holding up his hands slightly, as one might do to calm an enraged beast. 'Karliah-'

'_I said what happened?' _I screamed the sentence. The words bounced off the walls, until it seemed like the air itself was asking the question. _What happened? Happened? Happened? _

'Karliah, please.' Gallus crouched down beside me and gently placed his hand on my shoulder. I moved as if to shrug it off, then fell still. What would be the point?

'I'm sorry, Karliah. Believe me. I am truly sorry.' It was then that I noticed that he was crying. Crying silently, but crying. His voice was so soft, so tender, so soothing. It didn't seem quite real, that anything could be so gentle. Not here. Not now.

I didn't look at him. Because something had caught my eye. Something strange. The armour my mother was wearing. I knew it. I had seen it before. Shining metal, neither black nor grey nor silver but a mix between all three, with a flowing ebony coloured cloak. A small symbol decorating it below the neck. An intricately carved bird, reaching up to touch the disc of the moon in its wings.

This was the armour she had worn that night. The night she tried to sneak away.

And I knew then that Ahsla had been right.

Wherever it was that Gallus and Mercer had gone, my mother had gone with them.

They led her to her death.

I stood up. I felt fury flashing within me. Rage like nothing I had ever felt before.

I saw Gallus looking at me in worry. I knew then that he knew exactly what I was thinking.

'Where did you take her?' I spoke quietly, but the threat in my voice was clear, blunt and stark.

Mercer fidgeted uneasily. Gallus bit his lip. Neither of them spoke. Hatred built up inside me like flames rising up from embers.

'Where did you take her?' I repeated the words, breathing hard. 'I know you took her. I know you did.'

Mercer was looking fixedly at the floor. Gallus swallowed hard. 'Yes.' he said quietly. 'We did.'

I looked at the wound that had killed her. Killed my mother. Deep. Bloodied. Fatal. Made by a sword- a sword that had managed to penetrate the armour and pierce her heart. The wound that would not be there if they hadn't taken her.

'This is your fault!' I tried to stop the half-sobbed words from bursting from me, filled with anger and loathing, but I felt as if I was no longer in control of a single word I uttered or a single move I made. And once they were said, they were said. There was no reclaiming them. And they did not ease my pain. They only worsened it. It was as if someone had driven a knife between my ribs and was slowly, slowly driving it deeper inside me. The fire beginning to smoulder in my heart leaped into flame and grew into a raging inferno.

'I trusted you!' I made no effort to restrain my fury. 'And you took her to her death! You might as well have stabbed her yourself!'

Something glinted in Mercer's eyes. Gallus looked stricken.

'Why did you do it?' Trembling with rage, I took a step towards them. 'Why?'

Gallus looked directly at me and I was forced to meet his calm dark tawny gaze. 'You're right,' he murmured. 'And I will tell you why. I promise. I swear on everything I hold dear that I will tell you. But not now. Not here.'

'Why?' It didn't sound like a word that I had spoken. More like the snarl of a sabre cat.

Gallus didn't answer. Instead, his gaze flicked around the Flagon, at the watchers who stared at us with wide, horrified eyes. I understood the hidden meaning in the motion. _This is not for them to hear. _

I narrowed my eyes. My thoughts must have shown on my face because he took a step forward. His whisper sounded next to my ear, too soft for anyone else to hear it but me. 'Meet me outside Riften at midnight. Then I'll explain everything. I promise.'

My fury began to subside, as if someone were slowly but surely trickling water onto the blaze within me. As it faded, it left nothing in its place. Nothing but a dull, aching emptiness. Like somebody had reached inside my soul and ripped out my emotions. And suddenly I could no longer find it within me to be angry with them. What did it matter why she had died? All that mattered was that she was dead.

And there and then, with the eyes of the entire Guild upon me, I broke down and wept.

* * *

The streets of Riften seemed even more still and silent then they had when I had returned to them as dusk first started to creep over the land. It seemed like a millions years had passed since then. All the beauty of the scene was lost on me now.

It was midnight now. It was winter- not only winter, but the heart of the month we know as Evening Star. The days were grey and short, the nights dark and long, and almost a quarter of the day passed between the setting of the sun and the night reaching its shadowy heart. The hours between the moment Gallus entered the Cistern bearing my mother's body in his arms and midnight seemed like a long, slow dream. Nothing seemed quite real. Nothing at all. I couldn't decide whether it was more like an entire week or a few seconds before the moons were at their highest points, and it was time for me to leave.

Gallus was waiting by the gates, as he had promised. He was on horseback, and holding the reins of a second horse. And my eyes widened in curiosity- not surprise, though. I felt like nothing could surprise me anymore- as I realised that I knew the other horse, knew him well. It was Dusk. My mother's steed. He snorted as I approached, clearly recognising me, and nuzzled me in a fond manner.

Nearby, Mercer watched me with eyes like a hawk. He was seated upon his own mount, Flint, a dappled grey stallion that looked like a storm cloud given form and life. He gave me a curt nod as I looked at him, but said nothing.

'I'm here,' I said, looking at Gallus.

He nodded. 'Thank you for coming.'

'You never said we were going anywhere.'

Gallus looked me unflinchingly in the eye. 'You want to know the truth, Karliah. We're here because you have a right to know the truth. And I do want to tell you the truth. Indeed, I _will _tell you the truth. But first, there is somewhere we must go, and something that must be done.'

Mercer answered the questions forming on my lips before I could ask them. 'We're going to the standing stone not far from the city. And we'll explain what we're doing on the way.'

'Does the Guild know we're going this time?' I made no effort to keep the accusation out of my voice, and Gallus winced, as if the question had slapped him across the face.

'We are truly sorry for leaving you.' He was clearly trying to not let his anguish show, but I detected it all the same. 'We had no choice.' He paused, then added, 'Just as your mother had no choice when you were nine.'

I stared at him. 'How do you know about that?'

He reached down and passed Dusk's reins to me. 'Karliah, I have to ask you to trust us. Please. We'll tell you everything.'

I stared at him for a moment longer, then relented and swung myself up into Dusk's saddle. 'Lead the way,' I told them quietly.

Gallus nodded and turned his mare, Ebony, out onto the road. 'Where would you like us to start?'

'I want to know why my mother is dead.' I poured all the bitterness and grief I felt into the words, and I saw both my companions swallow uneasily.

Gallus was silent for a few moments before he began to speak. 'Dralsi died because of a secret, one that she kept from you all your life. She had no choice in this. If she had told you the truth, she could have been killed. The only reason I am able to tell you know is that before long, you too will be sworn to secrecy.'

I opened my mouth to protest, but he interrupted me. 'Please, let me finish. It was your mother's wish that you should take her place after her death. The secret we are about to entrust you with is a secret the Guild has guarded so closely for so long that all but a few have forgotten it. As far as I know, Mercer and I are the only people in Skyrim who know the full truth.'

'Then what is the full truth?' I demanded.

'The truth,' Gallus said quietly, 'is that Mercer and myself are Nightingales. So was your mother. And you will be too, before this night is out.'

Nightingales.

Without warning, I was jerked backwards, into my hazy memories of the past.

_I am twelve years old. My mother has just told me about the Guild. Above my head, two pine thrushes wing their way into the woods. My mother smiles. She whispers the words, the words she doesn't think I'll hear._

'_You're going to make a wonderful Nightingale.'_

_And now I am seven, sitting by the fireside. The tale of Drayven Indoril, my grandfather, and the battle of Red Mountain still sparks my blood with excitement. My mother explains Azura's curse. How I have somehow resisted it. How this can only mean I have a great destiny- if I choose to make it so._

'_I will,' I vow._

'_I know you will, my little Nightingale.'_

'_Mother… why do you always call me that? Is it because of Drayven?'_

_She smiles that secretive smile. 'One day, I'll tell you, love. One day.'_

And then the present rushed back to me, and I was staring at Gallus and Mercer with blank shock written plainly on my face.

'Surprised?' Mercer asked drily, a hint of that familiar smirk on his face.

'I've heard of them,' I said quietly.

'I don't doubt it.' Gallus nodded. 'It was inevitable that you could grow up with Dralsi and not know anything about the Nightingales.'

'I don't know anything,' I snapped. 'I just know the name.'

His response was to slowly incline his head. 'Nocturnal. Have you heard of Nocturnal?'

I hesitated. Yes. I had heard of Nocturnal. In a way. How many times had my mother botched a potion and exclaimed in frustration, 'Nocturnal's mercy!' Or when we were hunting, how many times had I heard her murmur, 'Nocturnal, guide my hand!' before loosing her arrow? How many times had I heard her whisper as I left on some mission- whether it be a burglary or a hunt- 'Nocturnal go with you,' in a voice that should have been too soft for me to hear?

'Again, I know the name,' I told him.

'No more than that?'

'Only that she's a Daedric Prince.'

'Then we've got our work cut out,' Mercer muttered.

Gallus glared at him. 'Nocturnal is the Daedric Prince of luck, darkness and the night. You may have heard of her by other names. The Empress of Murk. The Daughter of Twilight. Many have tried to understand her, but all of have failed. You cannot understand Nocturnal. Her mystery is as much a part of her as madness is to Sheogorath. The Nightingales are but a part of that mystery. They are the three mortals who serve her.'

'I don't want to pick holes in your arithmetic,' I told him wryly, 'but I'm only counting two.'

'Your mother was the third.' He was silent for a while. Finally, he took a deep breath and continued.

'Every Nightingale that has ever existed takes an Oath with Nocturnal. It is an Oath that binds forever. And the terms are simple. We serve her directly. She watches over us, guides us, and gives us a share in her considerable power.'

'I don't know much about Daedric princes,' I said with a mirthless smile, 'but I know enough to be able to guess that all of that comes at a price.'

'It does indeed- but it is a price that anyone with an ounce of loyalty to the Guild should be willing to pay. In return for her guidance, upon death, a Nightingale's soul cannot pass to Aetherius. Instead, it is sent to Nocturnal's temple, the Twilight Sepulchre. And there it will remain, a guardian of the temple, until Nocturnal feels that the Nightingale's debt to her has been repaid. That may take a hundred years; it might take no time at all. It all depends on how loyal the Nightingale's service was during their life, and what works they did in Nocturnal's name.'

I felt my eyes widening. Gallus saw my expression and smiled. Inside me, I felt some part of me sigh with relief. Gallus didn't look right unless he was smiling.

'To answer the question I can see you begging to ask, yes. Your mother is in the Sepulchre now. She is not dead. She never truly will be.'

Deep within me, I felt the yawning emptiness close a little. And perhaps, deeper still, so far down it was bareley there... was that a spark of relieved, delighted joy?

'And when her debt to Nocturnal is repaid, what happens then?'

It was Mercer who answered this time. 'When all they owe has been returned to Nocturnal, they are given the ultimate reward.'

'And what's that?' I felt a small grin beginning to creep over my face. The knowledge that my mother was not lost after all, that her soul still lived, that I might see her again one day, was returning my feelings to me again. Perhaps I still had it in me to laugh and smile. 'A lifetime supply of sweetrolls or something?'

They both laughed. 'That's more like the Karliah Indoril I know,' Gallus chuckled. 'And no, nice as it would be, sweetrolls play no part in the Nightingale's reward, I'm afraid.'

'Hold on. I know this bit by heart, thanks to someone who never stops repeating it.' Mercer shot Gallus a look and continued, sounding as if he was reading from a textbook. 'In the heart of Nocturnal's temple lies the Ebonmere, the conduit to her realm of Evergloam. Keeping the Ebonmere open is the Skeleton Key, an immensely powerful Daedric artefact that holds the ability to unlock both physical and metaphysical barriers, both in the world and within the one who carries it.' His eyes glinted.

'Nobody is supposed to carry the Key, Mercer,' Gallus reminded him warningly. 'Tempting though it is, the Skeleton Key's power is far too mighty to be controlled by a mere mortal. It has destroyed many who have tried to wield it. It belongs to Nocturnal, and to Nocturnal alone.' He looked at me intently. 'You must understand this before you take the Oath. The Skeleton Key is not to be underestimated, not under any circumstances. Its power is not for us to bear.'

I nodded. 'I understand.'

'Good.' Gallus cleared his throat and carried on. 'After the debt is fulfilled, a Nightingale's soul passes to Evergloam. There, they receive the greatest honour that can be bestowed upon them- they become one with the shadows.'

My confusion must have showed, for he explained hurriedly. 'All our lives, the shadows are our friends and our allies. They shield us, guide us, hide our presence. In becoming one with them, we aid the thieves of the future, and become part of that which has protected us for all our lives.'

I nodded, and I couldn't help smiling. I had not lost my mother after all. She still lived. And one day, she would receive her just reward. She had been a loyal and loving mother to me, a wise and patient teacher, and a true Guild member.

Gallus was still speaking. 'But there's more to the Ebonmere than that. It is how Nocturnal influences this world. Through it, she supplies us all with something that we take for granted- luck.'

I heard Mercer snort, and Gallus glared at him again. 'This is your only failing as a Nightingale, Mercer. You overestimate the power of the key and you underestimate the power of luck. You say that the art of the thief is about skill- and that is true. Your talents come from you, and you alone. However, luck decides the fates of us all.' He turned to me. 'Have you ever been in a situation where everything has been going to plan, and then suddenly chaos breaks out? A lockpick breaks at just the wrong moment, the man you are trying to rob hears a noise behind him and turns just as you reach for his purse? Or perhaps it has gone the other way. Maybe the guards have been on your tail, there has been nowhere to hide, and quite by chance a cloud has covered the moons and smothered you in shadow for a few vital moments?'

'Plenty of times.'

'Then you should understand what I'm trying to tell you. Nocturnal supplies us all with luck. She can choose to hinder or help us, depending on how she sees fit.' He grinned. 'Though it is Thjon's own natural clumsiness, for example, that causes him to drop plates and accidentally pull doors of their hinges, it is Nocturnal's blessing that stops others from hearing the noise and investigating.'

'And a good thing too, otherwise that butterfingers would have been in jail a long time ago,' Mercer growled.

'Perhaps, perhaps not.' Gallus's amused smile was visible even in the dark.

'You still haven't answered my question,' I told him. 'My mother. Why did she die?'

'It's part of the Oath,' Mercer grunted. 'Guard the Sepulchre, guard the Key, guard Nightingale Hall.'

'He's right. We guard Nocturnal in life as well as in death. There are many who seek to penetrate her sacred sanctuary. As Nightingales, it is our duty to defend it. When Nocturnal summons us, we must go. We have no choice but to go.'

Understanding flooded through me. 'So that's why you left.'

'Indeed. There was a mercenary attack on Nightingale Hall, and we were summoned to its defence without a moment's delay. Nocturnal can contact us whenever she chooses, and she chose a most inconvenient time.' His smile had a hint of sadness to it. 'I can only pray that you will forgive us.'

The knowledge of why he had gone, why my mother had gone all those years ago, sent shame creeping through me. I had resented them, hated them, held them responsible, both Gallus and Mercer and my mother. And they had only ever been doing what was best for the Guild.

In an attempt to take my mind off my guilt, I looked up into the shadowy forests we were riding through. 'So where exactly are we headed?'

'Nightingale Hall. Our headquarters. This is where you will take the Oath and receive the status of Nightingale- should you choose to.'

I looked incredulously at Gallus. 'What makes you think I'd refuse? You've told me all this. I don't see that I've got much choice.'

'There is always a choice. This is a decision that will shape the rest of your life.'

I had only to think for a second. 'My mother was preparing me my whole life for this,' I said quietly. 'Everything she ever taught me was in preparation for the taking of this Oath. Refusal is not an option.'

'You got that right,' Mercer muttered. 'And anyway, it's too late to back out now. We're here.'

'Indeed we are.' Gallus gave Ebony's reins a gentle tug, drawing her to a halt, and I followed his example. We had arrived at an open area at the base of a cliff, next to a tall finger of stone at least four times the height of a man. At its tip was carved that symbol- the bird and the moon.

'That's the symbol of the Nightingales. Isn't it?' I dismounted and walked over to the base of the standing stone, looking up at the emblem.

Gallus nodded. 'Its origins are a mystery, and there are none but the Nightingales that know its meaning. Everything to do with our Order is a closely guarded secret.'

_So secret that even my mother kept it from me, _I thought. But I could not find it in my heart to bear any anger against her for it.

'This way.' Gallus and Mercer led the way over to a small wooden door hidden in the side of the cliff. A casual observer would never have realised it was there. It was the sort of door only found if one was looking for it.

The entrance led into a tunnel carved out of the rock. The walls were lined with clumps of green ferns, and it was dark- too dark to make out the way ahead. Gallus took a torch from a bracket on the wall, lit it, and took the lead.

The passage led out into a wide, open chamber, with a small, rushing stream running through the middle. It looked like people had lived in there at some point- there were beds and bookshelves on a raised area nearby. But now it stood empty and deserted. I couldn't help but wondering what sort of people might have dwelt in a place like this. What it might have been like all those years ago, when whoever had lived there still lived there. It must have been a glorious place. It would have had a quiet sense of nobility about it, I decided, rather than the sombre, weary feel that hung around it now.

In the next room, beneath a trio of tattered banners decorated with the Nightingale symbol painted on them in worn colouring, stood three cube-shaped blocks of stone. A strange feeling emanated from them. Magic. I recognised it instantly.

Gallus approached the centre stone, while Mercer walked over to the one on the right. I hung back, unsure of whether or not to follow their example.

'Watch,' Gallus told me simply, laying his hands on the top of the stone. As I looked on in astonishment, a black glow surrounded his body, as if he had become wreathed in the darkest shadow that ever existed. When it faded, his Guild armour had been replaced with that mysterious silver-black armour that my mother had been wearing.

'It's kind of fun,' Mercer said with a smirk, doing the same.

Gallus laughed kindly at my expression. 'Don't ask either of us how it works, just be glad it does. It's supple enough to let you run as fast as a galloping horse, and tough enough to stand against any blade-' He stopped, looking mortified as he realised what he'd just said.

'_Almost _any blade,' Mercer growled, as if trying to clarify.

'Karliah, I'm sorry-' Gallus began.

'Doesn't matter,' I told him shortly, pushing past the pair of them to the third stone. 'I guess her set was old.'

As I placed my hands on top of the stone, I'm almost certain I heard Mercer mutter, 'Way to dig a hole and jump in it, Desidenius.'

The stone was cold and hard against my hands, and I shivered despite myself. But as the black light started to swirl around me, the cold faded, to be replaced by a feeling I think I will never be able to truly describe. It was as if someone was pouring a jug of some icy liquid over me, and it was slowly flowing over my entire body. The chilling sensation faded as the light went, leaving me standing in the armour of the Nightingales.

To be wearing armour that is said to have been created in Evergloam itself is a feeling that is impossible to imagine if you have never experienced it yourself. It is as if the night itself is covering your body, as if shadows have been forged into metal and cloth. Should you ever be lucky enough to take on the mantle of Nightingale, then you will perhaps understand. Perhaps already you have taken up your blade in defence of the Twilight Sepulchre, clad in the armour of the Lady of Night herself…

I stepped away from the stone and turned to Gallus and Mercer. They nodded.

'You're ready,' Mercer said brusquely, and turned to leave.

'She's ready if she says she is,' Gallus told him in a low voice. His face was mostly obscured by the visor of his hood, but I could see the question in his gaze.

'I'm ready,' I assured him. And it was true. I was.

Gallus nodded at me, and it would have been an impossibility to miss the depth of pity, sorrow and compassion in his eyes. For a moment, I wasn't sure whether to be resentful or not. I didn't want to be pitied- not by anyone. But any anger I had faded as I suddenly remembered how he had cried back in the Flagon. He had shed tears for my grief. I had no right to be angry with him. Neither he nor Mercer had caused my mother's death. Nor could they have prevented it. It would be an injustice and an act of spite and cruelty to bear any grudge against either of them. Especially when Gallus was trying so hard to comfort me.

Unable to let him feel that he was unforgiven for a crime he had never committed, I returned his anxious gaze with a smile. He could not have seen my mouth move, not with the hood covering my face, but my expression must have showed in my eyes, for a look of relief washed over him.

We set off together, Gallus walking slightly ahead of Mercer and myself, towards a gate made of barbed spears that stood in front of us. Gallus took hold of an iron pull chain hanging from the wall and yanked it sharply downwards. The spears retreated into the ground with a hiss and a clunk, revealing perhaps the most breathtaking sight I had ever seen in my life.

We were standing before a vast, cavernous chamber, so tall that if three giants had stood on each other's shoulders, I doubt they would have been able to touch the domed roof. In the centre was a large, circular stone platform, with three smaller ones connected to it by stone bridges. All four of the platforms had that now familiar symbol stamped upon them. I stared open mouthed as I stood in the doorway, unable to supress my astonishment. I don't know what I had been expecting, but it hadn't been this. There was a sense of grandeur and mystery about the place that was almost impossible to take in.

Water dripped from the ceiling as we took up our places- Gallus on the centre circle, Mercer on the eastern one, me on the west. We stood in silence for a moment, none of us moving or speaking. Gallus turned his head towards me and I saw a questioning look in his eyes. I knew that he was giving me a final chance to back out. But I was going nowhere. This was my duty. I owed it to my mother, who I had loved so dearly and who had taught me so much.

I nodded. Just a tiny dip of the head. A miniscule movement that determined the fates of us all.

Gallus raised his arms into the air, looked to the ceiling, and called out loudly, clearly, and fearlessly.

'I call upon you, Lady Nocturnal, Queen of Murk and Empress of Shadow… hear my voice!'

* * *

**And let the newest Nightingale arise… in the next chapter.**

**Is there anyone else apart from me who thinks it's kind of funny that when you're playing Bryn and Karliah walk over to the stones and then are just suddenly wearing the armour? So yeah, I used a healthy portion of artistic licence there. Hope nobody minds.**

**Again, thank you to all my readers and reviewers. Your support is very, very much appreciated.**


	13. Oath

CHAPTER TWELVE

For a moment, nothing happened. Then another moment. Strange how moments can become millennia.

And then the room began to darken, like a day in Sun's Height darkens when a cloud covers the sun. A chill swept over all three of us, as if an icy breeze was playing around us, though the air was still and calm. The air above the large platform in the centre of the room began to warp and distort, as if an invisible entity stood there.

A voice filled the cavern without warning, seeming to come from nowhere and everywhere at once. Calm, soft, lulling… but there was a dangerous tone to it that sent a cold shiver down my spine.

_Welcome back, Gallus. And you, Mercer. I believe you called? _There was a mocking tone to the voice. _For what reason do you call upon me so soon after your… struggle?_

I felt my heart began to beat faster as I realised that I was in the presence of the most powerful being I had ever met or ever would meet again. I was in the presence of the Daedric prince Nocturnal. If I had harboured any doubts about the truth of what Gallus and Mercer had told me, they vanished in that instant.

'My Lady,' Gallus murmured, his head lowered respectfully, 'we are here to present you with one who is willing to take the sacred Oath, to fill the place among us that stands empty now that Dralsi Indoril is dead.'

_Indeed._ I suddenly felt as if I was being stared at, as if the invisible presence in the centre of the cave was focusing on me, and me only. _And who, pray might this be?_

Swallowing down my fear, I raised my head and looked directly at the shimmering patch of air. 'I am Karliah,' I announced, desperately trying to keep the fear from my voice. 'Daughter of Dralsi.'

The reply was so long in coming that I feared it would never come. But it did. And I do not think I imagined the warm tone in that smooth, mocking voice.

_Ah… Karliah. Yes, you are Dralsi's daughter. I know your name._ There was a second of silence, then she spoke again, and her words sent a tremor running through me. _I've been waiting for you._

I glanced at Gallus. He gave me a tiny nod, as if encouraging me.

_I have… watched you for some time. I seldom take interest in the actions of mortals, but your mother was a valiant fighter, and I have always seen much of her in you. _Nocturnal's voice was full of appraisal- whether for me or for my mother I wasn't sure- and I felt that all-too-familiar surge of self-doubt build up within me. How could I ever hope to achieve the things that my mother had? I shook myself angrily and kept listening as the shimmering patch of air went on. _She was a great Nightingale, born of a great Nightingale. Her services to me were undyingly loyal. Can you offer me as much?_

'I hope so, my Lady,' I told her uncertainly.

_Hope? Hope is not good enough. What I ask from you is commitment. Commitment to your fellow Nightingales and to me with devotion that never wavers. If you are not willing to strive with heart and mind and soul to do my bidding, you are not worthy to take the Oath._

Panic rose up within me, and I struggled to find the right words to reply. Then Gallus's voice echoed through the chamber, calm and clear as ever.

'I have had the honour of working alongside Karliah for two years now. She has courage and determination that is seldom seen in anyone, she has learned quickly and she has achieved great things. I have never doubted her loyalty to the Guild for a single moment. There is no question that she will serve the Nightingales, and you, just as faithfully.' He looked at me, and I saw his eyes smile.

_Is that so? _The intense, invisible gaze returned to me, scrutinising me closely. _And can you… confirm this?_

Thanking every Divine in existence for the eloquent tongue of my Guildmaster, I nodded. 'I cannot make any assurance that I will never let you down,' I admitted. 'But I will do everything that lies within my power to make sure that I do not.'

_A wise and honest answer. _I felt courage flicker inside me as I detected the impressed tone in the echoing voice. _I deem you worthy of the sacred name of Nightingale. _

Relief washed over me. I felt, rather than saw, the unseen eyes of our observer turn away from me and onto my two companions. _Before Karliah affirms her allegiance, you must make vows of your own. Have you made certain that she understands the terms of this agreement?_

'We have,' Gallus assured her, with Mercer echoing him only a moment later.

_Do you swear to offer her any help and guidance that she requires as embarks on the path of the Nightingale?_

'We do.' Mercer crossed his arms as he spoke and shot me a look that could have meant anything.

_And are you prepared to guard your fellow Nightingale with every ounce of strength that you possess, and, should the need arise, to give your lives in order to save hers?_

'We are,' Gallus answered instantly, and there could be no doubting the conviction in his voice. Mercer was silent for a moment, and I feared he was not going to respond. But finally, his gaze fixed on me, he gave a curt nod and repeated Gallus's words.

_Good. And now, daughter of Dralsi. Your friends have made their vows. Are you prepared to undertake your own?_

I swallowed hard, but raised my head and nodded. 'I am.'

The darkness in the cavern seemed to intensify. _Then, Karliah Indoril, do you swear to defend with your life the Twilight Sepulchre and the treasure it contains, as well as the secret of your existence, no matter what might befall you?_

My heart racing so fast it was a miracle I was still standing steady, I dipped my head. 'I do.'

_And do you vow to protect the lives of your fellow Nightingales with all of your strength and honour, and, if necessary, your blood?_

'I do.'

_And do you accept that from this moment forth your life is bound to mine, and that in both this world and the next, you must defend my sanctuary and the Skeleton Key- whatever the cost?_

Clenching my fists in an attempt to stop myself from trembling, I drew in a deep breath. 'I do.'

_Then, Karliah Indoril, daughter of Dralsi Indoril, I name you Nightingale._

I let out the breath I had been holding in and closed my eyes. I wasn't sure how I was supposed to feel. Honoured. Excited. Afraid. But in truth, I felt exactly the same as before... with one difference. I felt filled with sudden purpose, and a desperate, burning desire to prove myself.

If Nocturnal's eyes had been visible, I was almost certain they would have been narrowed as she spoke again. _Remember, Nightingale- this Oath is not to be taken lightly. You have pledged your very being to me. The Oath is struck, and your fate awaits you in Evergloam._

I looked at the others, uncertain of what I should say. But before I could so much as open my mouth, words were whispering through the chamber again- words that would come back to haunt me in days to come.

_Your Oath is binding, Karliah, but it is not unbreakable. Should you betray me or your companions, or fail in your duty as a Nightingale, then it will be shattered into pieces. And be warned- if it is ever broken, your Nightingale status will be gone, and you will be nothing in my eyes. Break the Oath, and you betray your fellow Nightingales, betray your Guild, betray your honour, and- most dangerous of all- you betray me. Is this understood?_

I could not have known what was coming. What fate, love, hated, ambition and treachery would bring my way. Yet as she spoke those words, I felt as if the already cold room had become colder, cold enough to chill me right down to the bone.

My mother believed in fate. I know that. And in a way, I do as well. But I have always said that your fate is what you make it. Our futures lie in our own hands, not in those of the Divines. There are some who have the potential to make their destinies great. But it is we who must build those destinies if we want to fulfil them. That was what my mother taught me. And she never told me a lie. But I don't think I was imagining what I felt in that moment. And I felt as if ill omen had been personified in the words Nocturnal had just said to me.

And yet I raised my head and told her, 'I understand.'

Perhaps I did understand. But I could not have foreseen what was to come.

_Very well. Then the trinity is restored once more. Gallus, Mercer, Karliah- you are the Nightingales. The Sacred Three have risen again._

The light began to return to the chamber, slowly beginning to shine into every corner. The warped patch of air began to return to normal, and the smoot voice began to fade away, with Nocturnal's last words echoing faintly in our ears.

_Fair fortune, Nightingales. Eyes open. Walk with the shadows._

And then she was gone, gone like a breath of wind.

I suddenly felt exhausted, as tired if I had just run from one end of Skyrim to the other without stopping to rest. It was only then that I realised I had not slept at all that night. As I slowly made my way down to the central circle to rejoin the others, I felt like all I wanted to do was to collapse into the first bed I found and sleep for about a year.

'Are you all right?' Gallus pushed back his hood as I approached, and looked at me with his deep brown eyes clouded with worry.

'I'm fine,' I told him, surprised at how worn my voice sounded. 'Just tired.'

'That's only to be expected. I doubt you've slept since yesterday.'

I shook my head. Mercer's sardonic jibe cut through the air. 'Guess it's hard work, selling your soul to a Daedric Prince?'

Somehow, it comforted me. Since sundown, my world had been changed beyond all recognition. The only thing that could have made my life even more alien to how it had been only a day before was if Mercer stopped making sarcastic comments. I gave him a brief nod, and we stood in silence for a moment.

Finally, Gallus spoke. 'We should get back. Our friends will be worried about us.'

I nodded. 'And there's something else we have to do.'

* * *

Dawn was approaching.

Pale streaks of amber light were beginning to show on the horizon, and the sky was starting to turn from indigo to azure blue. A light snow was still falling from the woolly clouds, settling on everything in sight, making the whole world shimmer as if it were coated in tiny, shining white diamonds. It made everything seem slightly unreal, too bright to look at. The world of mortals almost looked Divine.

I had no eyes for the beauty of the scene. I had eyes only for one thing. The smooth grey stone in front of me, covered in its fine dusting of frost, standing a little apart from the other graves, with the first light of the sun illuminating the words newly-carved onto its surface. Words that could not have been closer to the truth in a thousand years. Words that made my heart clench as if someone was clutching it in their fist in a crushing grip.

_Dralsi Indoril_

_A loving mother_

_A wise teacher_

_A loyal friend_

_And a true warrior_

And beneath the words, the symbol of the Nightingales glistened in the morning light. The pale sunlight dappling the shape of the bird made it almost look alive, as if it were about to spread its wings against the sky and take flight.

Around me, the other members of the Guild stepped forward one by one, the snow crunching under their feet.

'She was my friend from the moment I joined the Guild.' Ahsla's voice was low and laden with grief. 'Together, we stole from anyone who stayed still long enough, we broke into the Mistveil Keep and pickpocketed the Jarl, we ran from what seems like every city guard in Skyrim.' She smiled through her tears. 'She will never be forgotten.'

Murmurs of agreement ran through the watchers as Elandine stepped forward. 'She used to sing,' the High Elf remembered, a sad smile crossing her face. 'When she'd been out all day, and she'd done a job well, she'd come into the Flagon and she'd sing as she counted her money, or as she got on with her work. And everyone would stop to listen to her, and it was like we were under a spell until she stopped.' She swallowed. 'I didn't know her that well. But I felt like we'd lost something when she left. And now she's gone, I'm going to miss her.'

It was so unheard of for Elandine to admit to such a thing that there was dead silence for a moment. Then Mercer started to speak. 'She died as she lived. Fighting for the Guild. I don't think she'd have wanted it any other way.' He fidgeted, as if unwilling to say more, but feeling that, with all eyes upon him, he should. 'Um… I'm honoured to have known her.'

Gallus closed his eyes as he spoke. 'Dralsi taught many of us,' he began. 'Without her patience, kindness and wisdom, many of those here among us would not be here. Her determination, her courage, her loyalty and her compassion touched the hearts of all who had the honour of knowing her. She died fighting for everything she valued, and she will be received with joy by her fellow warriors of ages past.' He let out a long sigh. 'The Guild will never forget Dralsi Indoril. Her spirit lives on, and she has left her legacy among us. We will treasure her memory, and perhaps the day will come when we meet her again.'

As he stepped backwards, I felt the eyes of each and every one of my friends turn to me. I swallowed. The moment seemed to call for a speech as intricate and beautiful as Gallus's- but there was only one thing I could say that would possibly mean anything.

'I don't know how you all remember her,' I said hesitantly. 'As a comrade, a colleague. A mentor and teacher. A friend. A warrior. She deserves all of those names, and more. But… for me, there is only one thing that can be said about her. Anything else would be a lie.'

I bowed my head. 'She was my mother,' I told them simply. 'And I loved her.'

* * *

I stood alone. I had not moved from the place where I stood for what seemed like years. The sun was well and truly up now, shedding its golden light upon the entire land. The snow still fell, like tears of ice from the sky, as if the Divines themselves were weeping. The city was almost silent, and though the rational part of my mind knew that anyone who was awake at this early hour would be trapped inside by the great, billowing snowdrifts, it seemed to me that the entire world had been stunned into morning for my mother.

I slowly became aware of the fact that I was no longer alone. I turned my head to see Gallus standing next to me, unshed tears glistening in his eyes.

'I wish I had known her for longer,' he murmured, undisguised sorrow plain and clear in his voice. 'She taught me so much.'

'I think that goes for us both,' I told him bitterly. 'I hadn't spoken to her for two years. We hadn't even seen each other since I left for Riften. If I'd known that would be the last time I'd see her…' My voice trailed off as I remembered how she had stood upon the crest of the hill, the breeze whipping her hair out behind her, the noon sun shining down upon her, as I left her behind forever. Gallus gently placed a hand on my shoulder, and I let him. I needed some support at that moment.

'You could not have known what would happen,' he said softly. 'Dralsi died defending everything she held dear- her Guild, her honour, the Nightingales… Nocturnal will receive her with open arms. Few ever served her for so long, and so faithfully.'

He was silent for a long moment. Then, very hesitantly, he added, 'Karliah… I didn't want to tell you this at first. I was afraid that you would hate me for it. But you have the right to know.' He let out a long, long sigh. 'You mother died saving my life.'

I stared at him, my eyes wide with shock. 'What?'

His gaze was fixed firmly on the snow-covered ground, as if he were afraid to meet my gaze, or else too ashamed. 'She sacrificed herself so that I might live. She stepped in front of me at the last second and took a sword thrust intended for me. Had I been killed, you would not have lost your mother.'

Conflicting emotions rose up within me, as if someone was poking a fire within me with a stick, sending embers dancing upwards. My gaze travelled from the stone that marked my mother's resting place, to the man standing beside me, and back again.

Gallus watched me intently, anxiety written all over his features, waiting for my response. I wasn't sure if I could find anything to say.

If he had died, my mother would have lived.

But if she had lived, he would have died.

The moment seemed to drag on, for a thousand years.

And then finally, I managed to speak.

'Oh,' I said quietly.

Gallus raised his eyebrows, as if waiting for me to continue. Suddenly, seeing the concern in his eyes, the words I wanted to say flooded into my mouth like water released from a dam.

'It wasn't your fault,' I blurted out. 'She knew what she was doing. And I'm sorry for what I said earlier. It was nothing to do with you. I didn't mean it.'

He nodded, and I was relieved to see that familiar smile return to his face. 'I know. You were angry. You had every right to be angry.' He sighed and looked at the ground. 'Perhaps I should have told you the truth a long time ago. It was inevitable that you would stumble upon it sooner or later. I only wish it had not been so painful for you.'

I shook my head. 'That would have broken your Oath. My mother kept her secret from me for a reason. She knew that it would be best for me.'

Gallus's smile grew a little wider. 'She only ever wanted the best for you.'

'I know.'

'She must have been a wonderful person to have been brought up by.'

I smiled as bittersweet memories flooded me. 'She was.'

I closed my eyes. In my mind I saw her, plaiting my hair by the fireside as she wove her entrancing stories, teaching me the art of the honourable thief, patiently instructing me in archery and alchemy, teaching me to hunt, fight and survive, and, finally, saying her farewell as I left to begin my new life…

'She was the best mother anyone could have asked for,' I said suddenly. It was as if everything I had been unable to say earlier had been bottled up inside me and was now leaking out in an unrelenting torrent of words. 'She taught me so much about the world, about how to survive. She could tell a story so real you'd think you were there. She could shoot a bird on the wing without looking. She could make a healing potion powerful enough to save someone on the brink of death. She took care of me through thick and thin. Nobody ever cared for me so much in all my life.'

Gallus's smile shrank but did not fade, and the expression in his eyes grew solemn. 'The Divines must have blessed us both by allowing us to be part of her life.'

I felt as if the sobs threatening to rise in my throat would choke me. 'I'll never be half the woman she was. Not even if I live for a thousand years.'

Gallus said nothing for a while. Then he shook his head. 'No. That's true. You won't. Because you're not your mother, Karliah. You're you. Nobody else. Trying to become somebody else is useless. The only person you should try to be is yourself.'

I looked at him in surprise. 'I don't properly know who I am. If I spent the rest of my life trying to figure it out, I doubt I'd manage it.'

His smile widened again. 'Who wants to discover who they are? The only person I want to find is the person I aspire to be.'

I blinked, looking at him with new eyes. 'I… I don't think I've ever thought of it like that before.'

'Maybe now's the time to start.' His eyes seemed to twinkle, like a pair of chocolate-coloured stars. 'We shape our own futures. It is our dreams that make us who we are.'

He gave me a final smile, turned, and walked back towards the Flagon.

As I watched him go, two thoughts occurred to me, one after the other.

The first was that it could have been my mother speaking his final words.

The second was that I had never in all of my life found it so easy and so comforting to talk to anyone.

The huge wave of confusion that loomed over me made me finally submit to my fatigue. 'Farewell, mother. May Evergloam receive you with honour,' I murmured. Then I turned and made my way back to the Flagon, my tears burning holes in the snow as I went.

The moment I reached my bed, I collapsed onto it, and crashed into a deep and dreamless sleep.

* * *

It began that day.

That was the day that I left my old life behind. I took on the sacred duty of the Nightingale.

But that was not all that began beneath that snow-filled sky.

Even as I write this, I can hear his words playing over and over in my mind. _We shape our own futures. It is our dreams that make us who we are._

I had lost my mother. I had lost the person who I always thought would be the only person I would ever love.

I was wrong.

There would be another person. One man who I would have walked to the end of the universe to protect. One man who would become the entire reason for my existence. One man who I would have given my life for.

One man whose love for me could have stood against the fiercest of storms. And my love for him could have done the same.

And, though I did not know it, it began that day.

* * *

**I changed the ceremony slightly for two reasons: the ceremony in the game and Karliah's one are under completely different circumstances, and secondly I thought the in-game one was ever so slightly anticlimactic. Anyway, I hope you liked it.**

**I really, really, really, really (lots of reallys here) want to know how I did with this chapter, so… yep, you guessed it. Review! Please!**


	14. Moment

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Times change, and the hearts of mortals are not made of stone. One broken, they can be healed.

As the seasons turned from winter to spring, and from springtime to summer, the pain of my mother's loss slowly became easier to bear. The loss of a loved one is something that you can never truly recover from. For the first few days, it felt as if I were carrying a stone around in my stomach. The murmurs of my friends wherever I went, the countless sympathies and condolences from everyone I spoke to, the uneasy refusal of every man, elf and beast in the Guild to meet my eyes, cut me like a knife to the heart. But to my surprise, Gallus stuck by me. Alone of everyone, he neither behaved as if I was in need of endless pity and help nor acted as if it had never happened. To my relief, he treated me with kindness and concern, yet no more than necessary. Mercer, too, though I could never confide in him the way I found I somehow could with Gallus, stayed realistic and reasonable throughout. And very slowly, the scars began to heal. Every time I thought of her I felt a deep pain inside me, but every time it was less. And finally, though it still saddened me to think of her, I found that I could at last move on.

Brynjolf finished his training as the month of Mid Year began, leaving me free to strike out on my own a little more. I found it easier to tear my mind away from my grief if I was on a mission. Whether I was causing havoc on a Bedlam job, practicing my pickpocketing on a Fishing job, or doing the typical break-ins that I adored so much, I only really felt at ease if I was doing my bit for the Guild. Perhaps it was this that persuaded Gallus to take me on the Windhelm mission. I think he knew I needed something to do.

But then we all needed something to do. Business was good, but for some reason it was slow. Not that we were having any trouble- the coin was rolling in in vast amounts, just as it always did. But Skyrim seemed to be going out of its way to make us all as bored as was physically possible. Throughout all of the spring and the first few weeks of the summer, hardly any jobs at all came our way.

So it was a welcome break when Gallus strolled up to me as I was sitting in the Flagon, browsing a copy of _The Book of the Dragonborn. _Even as a child, I had always adored the ancient legends of Skyrim. When I was not practicing my alchemy or archery, or trying out my stealing skills on an unsuspecting citizen, I could almost always be found with my nose stuck in a book. This was a legend that had enchanted me from the moment I had first encountered it.

_Lastly, we come to the question of the true meaning of being Dragonborn_, the book proclaimed._ The connection with dragons is so obvious that it has almost been forgotten - in these days when dragons are a distant memory, we forget that in the early days being Dragonborn meant having "the dragon blood". Some scholars believe that was meant quite literally, although the exact significance is not known. The Nords tell tales of Dragonborn heroes who were great dragonslayers, able to steal the power of the dragons they killed…_

'Karliah, can I borrow you?'

I glanced up in surprise. Gallus was standing next to me with a glint in his eye that I knew well by now. It was the excited glint, the glint that meant he was about to do something either reckless, dangerous, stupid, amazing, or all four. I cast the book aside with a wistful glance and stood up, knowing that however thrilling the tales of the Dragonborn was, the glint meant that whatever Gallus had in mind would be more thrilling still. 'Depends what it is.'

'I've got a job at last.' Gallus was almost bouncing up and down with barely supressed eagerness. 'In Windhelm. It's nothing big- just a break in- but the target is immensely valuable, and if we want to get the Guild's name feared in Eastmarch, it's the perfect opportunity. There haven't been any Bedlam jobs in Windhelm for a while and this is exactly what we need. Quite apart from which, I don't know about you, but I'm in desperate need of something to do. What's more, I personally am of the opinion…'

This was a habit with Gallus- get him excited, and he'd babble on for five minutes solid unless you interrupted. I broke in before I could find out what his opinion was. 'Of course. It sounds good. Who else is coming?'

Gallus snapped off his sentence and took a breath before launching himself back into an excited lecture. 'Just us, it's really a two-man job. Mercer's elected to stay behind and take charge, and since we haven't been making much use of our-' He lowered his voice and glanced around before carrying on- 'Nightingale abilities of late, I thought this would be the perfect chance. And since you have such a love of break-ins I thought I should ask you, and since Vex broke her leg trying to climb that chimney there's nobody better in the Guild for a mission like this-'

'Gallus! You're doing it again!'

He broke off, looking slightly embarrassed. 'Ah. Sorry. But in all seriousness, I'd be gratified if you would come.'

I picked up my bow. 'I'm coming. Anything to break the monotony.'

Gallus rubbed his hands together. 'Excellent! I've got to make a few arrangements before we leave, so I'll meet you at the stables in ten minutes.'

Before long, we were galloping at full speed towards Windhelm, the twin black pelts of Ebony and Dusk gleaming like polished obsidian in the sunlight. It would have taken us about nine hours to get to Windhelm on foot, but with the horses, the journey was less than half that long. The only things that held us up were a wolf pack and a group of bandits that, mistakenly, thought we would make easy targets. Both were easy to deal with, and the sky was only just beginning to darken as we arrived.

'We should wait until nightfall before we start work,' Gallus muttered in my ear as we tethered the horses and made our way over to the city gates. 'Perhaps we should stop at the inn and have a drink first.'

'Sounds good to me,' I told him wearily. I had been riding for almost as long as I had been stealing, but several hours in the saddle were enough to tire anyone, even the most experienced of riders.

We approached the gates, only to find our path blocked by the guards' swords. 'Halt there,' the nearest one barked commandingly.

I stopped and glanced uneasily at Gallus. We were wearing civilian clothes over our Guild armour, so I couldn't think of any reason why they would want to stop us. Gallus answered my unspoken question with a slight shake of his head, indicating that he was as mystified as I was.

The guard took a step forward and pointed his blade at me. 'What's your business here? I've not seen you in these parts before.'

_You probably have, _I thought with a small amount of smug satisfaction. _But I doubt you remember me as the woman that led you five times around the city trying to catch her after she stole practically every valuable item in Clan Shatter-Shield's house. That's my job, I'm afraid._

'We're here on business,' Gallus told him calmly, which wasn't a complete lie. 'And no, we haven't been here before.' Which _was_ a complete lie.

'I couldn't give a rotten horker carcass why you're here, Imperial.' The guard spat out the final word. 'I care why _she's_ here. We've got enough of her kind polluting the city with their filthy greyskin stink.'

_Here we go, _I thought with a sigh. _Nords…_

Before I could say anything, to my complete and utter astonishment, Gallus drew his sword and lunged forward. Slamming the guard against the wall with one hand, he held the tip of his blade at the man's throat with the other.

'Gallus!' I shouted, shocked.

The other guard hesitated, unwilling to attack for fear of injuring his friend. Gallus made no move to either attack or concede, but simply stood where he was, quivering with rage.

'How dare you,' he snarled. 'How dare you judge her- or anyone- for something she was not able to choose? How can any man, elf or beast on Nirn decide their race before their birth? Only the Divines can do that. You have no right- _none- _to insult her or threaten her simply because she happens to be a Dunmer. If you don't want to take a quick trip to Sovngarde within the next ten seconds, I suggest you apologise and let us into the city before I reach zero. Ten, nine, eight…'

'I'm sorry,' the guard squeaked, all his aggression gone. His eyes flicked over to the other guard. 'Open the gate for them, Hulgard.'

The other guard hesitated, narrowing his eyes. 'I've a good mind to call for reinforcements and you both spending the night in the dungeons,' he growled.

'You do that, and see where it gets you,' Gallus said warningly. 'Or rather, see where it gets your friend here.'

Hulgard dithered a moment longer, then relented and shoved it open. Gallus sheathed his sword and stepped away, and the guard quickly wriggled away from him as if he were a poisonous snake.

'Thank you,' Gallus snapped. 'I think we can now consider the matter closed. Come on, Karliah.'

Without a backwards glance, he spun on his heel and marched into the city before the shell-shocked guards could make any move to stop him. I hurried after him, eyes wide.

He walked on in silence for a minute, his face like a thundercloud. He was clearly irate, and I decided not to say anything until he did. Finally he shook his head despondently. 'I'm sorry you had to see me lose my temper like that, Karliah,' he sighed.

'It's fine,' I told him, though I was still slightly stunned by seeing the usually calm and even-tempered Gallus flip out like that. 'You nearly got us both arrested, but it's fine. I think the Guild makes a habit of terrorising the local guard no matter where we go.'

Gallus let out a shaky laugh. 'I shouldn't have done it. I was just so angry at him for insulting you like that. There was no call for what he said to you. None.'

'This is Windhelm. I didn't expect any less,' I shrugged. 'In this place, _Dunmer _is pretty much synonymous with _mud.'_

'It doesn't have to be that way,' Gallus growled, but I could see his anger fading.

'I've got used to it. Being called greyskin and all that only gets to you if you let it.'

He stared at me, horrified. 'Karliah, that's not the sort of thing anyone should have to get used to.'

'It's fine. Honestly.' In an attempt to lighten the mood a little, I added, 'And 'greyskin' is completely inaccurate anyway. Any fool knows that we can have light green skin, or pale blue, or…'

Gallus shook his head in mock despair. 'Nobody likes a pedant, Karliah.'

I shot him a grin. 'I'm a pedant, and you like me.'

Gallus burst out laughing, and to my relief, the last of the anger left his eyes.

As we walked on, I couldn't help thinking about how lucky I was to live in a Guild where race was meaningless. There was a representative from almost every race there- Gallus was Imperial, Mercer was Breton, I was Dunmer, the twins were Khajiit, Elandine was Altmer, Thjon and Brynjolf were Nords, Ahsla and Tonilia were Redguards, Elruen was Bosmer, and there were plenty of others too. If any of us paid any attention to our races, many of us would have been mortal enemies. But we simply didn't care about such things. Why should we? What good would it do us? With a revolution threatening to brew in Skyrim, the guard's aggression was natural, I supposed. But not everyone wanted to be involved. As far as I was concerned, both sides had equal right to be angry. What reason was there for picking unnecessary battles?

Trying to fathom the complicated motives of the whole thing gained me nothing except a headache. I decided to let it pass. No real harm had been done.

But there was one thing. One tiny, nagging thought that wouldn't let go.

Was it wrong for me to feel so flattered that Gallus had defended me so fiercely?

* * *

Night came, as soft as silent as a summer breeze.

Slowly, slyly, unseen in the shadows, Gallus and I crept along the deserted streets. We moved as if we were invisible. The few people was passed didn't so much as glance at us. The twin moons, both full and round, stared down upon us like a pair of inquisitive eyes.

We drew to a halt outside a tall house in Valunstrad, the oldest quarter of the city. There was nobody around, and the house was located on the outskirts of the city, meaning that it was almost impossible for us to be observed. The easiest way in looked to be the upstairs windows- the doors were bolted, and even from where we were standing, it was clear the window locks were relatively simple. Though Gallus was marginally better than I was when it came to lockpicking, I was easily the best climber out of the pair of us, so Gallus stayed on the ground while I tried to find a safe way up the side of the building. Failing that, I'd unlock the window, creep through the house, unbolt the door and let Gallus in that way.

It was an easy climb, and I was able to make it in near complete silence. It wasn't long before I was balancing on the window ledge, fiddling with the lock. It clicked open within a few seconds. I gingerly stuck my head into the room, but it was deserted. 'All clear,' I called down, as quietly as I could. 'You can climb up by using those ledges there.'

Gallus took a lot longer than I had to make it up, and I watched the streets with trepidation, terrified that someone might happen by and see us there. There would be no hiding if anyone did. However, Nocturnal must have been smiling upon us, for Gallus clambered up the side of the house and into the room without incident.

'I'm going to have to ask the twins for some lessons,' he grumbled. 'It's embarrassing, that everyone else in the Guild except Thjon can scale a two-storey building in a matter of seconds while I take as long as a pregnant horker with rockjoint.'

'Our noble Guildmaster, asking his students for help?' I gave a gasp of fake horror. 'What in the Lady's name is the world coming to?'

He gave me a light, friendly punch on the arm and started to lead the way into the house, his steps as silent as a cat's. I followed just as quietly.

'What exactly are we looking for?' I whispered.

'Apparently, it's a solid gold statue of Dibella. Family heirloom, passed down through countless generations and all that.' He rolled his eyes. 'Vulwulf Snow-Shod in the Bee and Barb was foolish enough to speak a little too freely about it, without realising who was listening.'

I chuckled. 'Loose tongues cost lives anywhere, but especially in the Bee and Barb. In particular if the Thieves Guild is taking an interest in the conversation.'

Finding the statue was about as hard as finding an assassin is in the Sanctuary of the Dark Brotherhood. Some idiot had had the wonderful idea of putting it in pride of place on the mantelpiece of the next room we came to.

'These people are just begging to have that stolen,' Gallus smiled, as he lifted it down and slipped it into his bag.

'All of Skyrim's a free-for-all, as long as you know where to look and the right way to go about it,' I commented. 'Or did my mother already teach that to you as well as me?' I felt a slight twinge inside me, but it was less painful than it had ever been before.'

'She did indeed.' Gallus walked over to the window and peered out. 'It's quite a drop. We're going to have to climb down.' He sighed resignedly and set about picking the lock.

'Do you want me to go first?' I asked as he pushed the window open and started to clamber up onto the sill.

'No, don't worry. If I want anyone in the Guild to take me seriously, I'm going to have to learn how to get up and down buildings properly, and I've going to have to learn quickly.'

'Suit yourself. Don't blame me if you fall.'

Gallus nodded and inched his way out of the window, before turning and starting to lower himself down. I watched as he reached for a small lantern holder, ready to use it as a handhold for the first step.

'Careful,' I said warningly. 'I don't think that's quite strong enough to-'

Gallus released his hold on the windowsill and grabbed hold of it. There was a resounding snap. It came away in his hand.

Time seemed to freeze for a second, as if Skyrim itself had caught its breath in horror. Then he fell.

Forgetting all about stealth, I shouted his name. I couldn't help it.

Down he fell, eyes wide with shock, plummeting down towards the hard stone street-

Where he landed with a loud thump on the considerably large stomach of a drunken Norn slumped against the side of the building.

Looking dazed but otherwise unharmed, Gallus rolled away and staggered to his feet. The Nord leapt up with a yell, winded and practically steaming with rage.

For a moment, the two of them stared at each other, while I watched with bated breath. Then Gallus broke into the biggest of grins, turned his head towards me, and shouted, 'It's all right, Karliah! It's a soft landing! You can jump!'

Without hesitation, I swung myself out of the window, climbed halfway down the house and jumped the rest. _'It's a soft landing?' _I repeated, staring at him incredulously.

'I just couldn't resist,' he smiled.

I pointed at the Nord, who was staring at us as if we were both crazy. 'You do realise, if he calls the guards, we are probably going to die?'

'GUARDS!'

I shook my head. 'I amend my statement. We are _definitely _going to die.'

Gallus reached out an grasped my hand. His eyes were shining, and there was boyish delight written all over his face. 'Run!'

And so we ran.

Through the snow-covered streets, past the startled citizens, no more than twenty metres ahead of the pack of blue-sashed guards who thundered after us like a group of ungainly, two-legged wolves. As we ran, I realised that Gallus was almost choking with exhilarated laughter. It was infectious, and before we were even in sight of the gates I was laughing too.

'I think,' I gasped breathlessly, ducking past someone who threw themself at me, 'that's the… stupidest way… to bungle a job… possible.'

'Highly likely.' Gallus fumbled with the bolt on the gates, while I kept the guards at bay with a few arrows carefully aimed to scare instead of kill. 'I've a feeling we're going to have a few stories to tell about this one when we get back to the Flagon.'

The bolt slid back with a ping, and we raced out of the city and towards the stables, where Dusk and Ebony stood waiting. 'Remind me not to come back to Windhelm for at least, ooh, twenty years,' I panted as we reached them.

'Or indeed at all,' Gallus replied, slashing through the horse's tethers to save untying them. He leaped up into Ebony's saddle with a single athletic bound.

I hauled myself up onto Dusk's back and kicked my heels into his sides. 'Go on, Dusk! Show them how you can run!'

Dusk tossed his head and gave an eager whinny. Gallus, still bent double with laughter, steered Ebony in front of me and we broke into a gallop.

We thundered along the road until we could no longer here the running footsteps of the guards. Gallus gave a gentle tug on his reins, slowing Ebony to a walk. I did the same with Dusk, patting his neck as I did so. 'Whoah, there, boy.'

Gallus stroked Ebony fondly. 'Well run, my girl.' He finally managed to control his laugher and turned to me with a smile almost too big for his face. 'I think, all things considered, that was a job well done.'

'A job well done?' I echoed, grinning. 'You got the entire Windhelm guard chasing us!'

'I did appear to make that unfortunate error, didn't I? Ah, can't be helped. All's well that ends well.'

I rolled my eyes. 'Life's never dull in the Guild.'

'I should most certainly hope not.' Gallus's eyes glowed delightedly. "Dull' is a word that does not appear in my vocabulary.'

* * *

We arrived back at the Flagon breathless, exhausted, and ready to drop, but well satisfied with our day's work. Almost the second we showed the others our prize, Ahsla, our fence, whipped it out of our hands and ran off to consult with Delvin about how much it might be worth. An hour or so later, she strolled over to where we were sitting and recounting our escapade to Mercer, and upended a huge pile of gold coins onto the table.

'Count them. You won't regret it,' she said indulgently.

Gallus cracked his knuckles in a self-satisfied sort of way. Mercer gave us his usual smirking grin. 'Looks like you two did well. I'm off to get a drink.'

'You didn't have any trouble while we were away, did you?' Gallus asked him, raising his eyebrows slightly.

Mercer looked taken aback, as if the question had caught him off guard. 'No. Not a bit,' he said edgily.

He didn't meet Gallus's eyes as he spoke.

'Very well.' Gallus gave him a nod and turned back to the heap of Septims. He pushed roughly a half over to me. 'You count that lot, and I'll count these.'

We started to sift through them, setting each coin aside into neat stacks as we numbered it. The stacks grew steadily larger while the piles grew smaller and smaller.

It was as I was pushing aside my four hundred and fourteenth coin that I noticed a single Septim lying in the middle of the table, separate from any of the piles. Gallus must have missed it. I reached out for it, muttering, 'four hundred and fifteen,' as I did so. At the same moment, Gallus noticed it too, and went to pick it up.

His hand came down on top of mine.

I looked up. He looked up. Brown met indigo.

For a moment, we stared awkwardly at each other. Then Gallus's seemingly immortal smile grew a little wider, and he gave my hand the tiniest squeeze.

Then he turned away and carried on with his counting, absorbed in the shining heap of gold. I was left looking with wide eyes at my Guildmaster, wondering if I had imagined that moment.

But I didn't think I had. I couldn't see any reason why I would imagine such a thing. I could still feel my hand tingling slightly from his touch.

And the strangest thing of all was… I hadn't wanted that moment to end.

I hadn't wanted him to let go.

* * *

**I just love writing bits like this! They make me grin like an idiot.**

**The house they burgle isn't meant to be a real one from the game or anything, if anyone was wondering.**

**So… what did you think of this chapter? **


	15. Quest

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

There were many sides to my Gallus.

They came and went like the changing of the wind. You never knew which one would be the next to appear. Each one was different. Each one was a part of him, yet all were entire worlds apart from each other. If I didn't know better, I might have said that he was four different people, all mixed into a single body, and they were constantly fighting for dominance.

First and foremost, there was the Guildmaster- the responsible one, the calm one, the one who valued his Guild before anything else. Not one of his decisions was made without deep, careful thought. The Gallus that was Guildmaster would never take a risk. If there was the slightest chance of failure, he would never take a chance. Not of it jeopardised the life of one of the Guild. Because to him, we were family- his brothers and his sisters. And it could not have been plainer that he could not have been able to bear it had he lost a single one of us- from the sweet, shy Tonilia to the loud, coarse, uncouth Delvin.

Then there was the Gallus that would emerge when we were on a job or mission or quest. Any adventure, however slight and small, was enough to bring him to the surface. This was the man that took me with him to Windhelm. This was the Gallus that came with that boyish grin and the mischievous twinkle in his eyes. He feared no living creature. He was not afraid of failure. To this part of him, every risk was a challenge. And he never backed down from a challenge.

There was only one part of him that I did not like to see. The angry one. The dark one. The vengeful one. When the smile dropped from his face, and his eyes narrowed, and his hands clenched into fists, you would have to be a fool not be realise that danger was brewing, that stormclouds were gathering on a dark horizon. It was this man that had held the Windhelm guard at the tip of his sword. It was this man, that, years later, confronted a traitor in a dark tomb. On occasion, in battle, this Gallus would appear, tearing into his foes with frightening ferocity. I know he never wanted it. He tried with all his might to contain it. But there was never any denying the fact that when his anger began to burn in earnest, even I feared him.

But then, there is good and evil in everyone, and sometimes it is hard to tell the difference…

And finally, there was the one that appeared all too little. The true Gallus. The one I believe nobody ever truly saw but me. Perhaps that is an honour.

If it is, then it is a great honour. And it is an honour that I do not deserve. Not after I failed him.

The real Gallus… how can I describe him to one who has never met him? One who has never seen that beautiful smile, listened to that rich, smooth voice or that chuckling laugh, or looked into the depths of those brown eyes that captured my soul? It is not possible for simple words to do him justice. But I will try my best. I owe it to him.

He was perfect. Of course I would say that. I loved him. I still do love him. I always will. But it was, and is, the simple truth. Gallus Desidenius was as close to perfection as any mortal can be. He was a thief, maybe. But an honourable one. Honour was everything to him. He never stole from a beggar or a poor citizen. And he never took more than necessary, no matter how rich the target.

And he always knew the right thing to say. Always. When Thjon and Vex started arguing over the brewing Civil War, who but Gallus would peacefully step between them and calm them down with nothing more than a few gentle words? Whenever Ma'rhaz sat in the shadowy corners of the Cistern, watching his brother with guilty, unhappy eyes, only Gallus could ever convince him that no, what happened to Dar'zha was not his fault, and no, there was nothing he could have done, and yes, there would always be a place for both him and his twin here, no matter what. When Delvin got himself abominably drunk- which wasn't the slightest bit uncommon- there was nobody except Gallus who would be able to drag him out of the Flagon and off into a corner where he could sober up in private. Anyone else who tried got a fist in the face. But Gallus, with his steady, commanding tones, somehow got through.

And when I fell to my knees on the cold stone, my heart tearing itself in two inside me, staring in pain and denial at the limp form that had once been my mother, it was he that whispered those words in my ear. _'I'm sorry, Karliah. Believe me. I am truly sorry.'_

Not you, Gallus. I should be sorry.

But that was him. Always gentle, always kind, with an open mind an open heart.

And when you truly knew him, when you looked right into his soul, that was the man you saw.

A good man. A kind man. A loyal man. A brave man. A man who loved his Guild, and his friends, and was fiercely committed to them. Come what may, he was always there for them.

And that was the man I fell in love with.

That was the man that fell in love with me.

Because on one cold, miserable day, deep underground in an abandoned, evil place, I saw him truly for the first time.

And maybe, he saw me.

There, in a dark, cold ruin, surrounded by creatures that wanted nothing more than to see both of us dead, each of us saw the other for how they truly were.

I saw him. I saw his soul. Courageous. Honourable. Devoted. Loyal to the last.

And I loved him for it.

* * *

It began the same way as the Windhelm mission. A moment of careless talk at a moment when Gallus happened to be listening.

It's a saying in Skyrim. 'If you want information, go into any inn in Skyrim. If you want information that'll make you rich, go into any inn in Riften.' And it's true. The Bee and Barb has led the Guild to more successful missions than it's possible to count. They say that walls have ears. In the Bee and Barb, it's true. One slip of the tongue within the walls of that tavern, and half your fortune could- and often would- vanish without warning.

We were there, all three Nightingales, enjoying a few well-earned comforts after a particularly brutal mercenary attack on the Sepulchre had nearly claimed all our lives. The bandits had managed to push us back all the way to the inner sanctum before I'd taken out their leader with a lucky shot. After that, to our considerable relief, they'd lost face and retreated. We'd seen to our wounds, mostly thanks to my healing potions, and traipsed back to Riften in a state of complete exhaustion. And since we weren't quite in the mood to answer a whole lot of difficult questions from our fellow Guild members about where we'd been and how we'd been injured, we decided to give the Flagon a miss until everyone was asleep, and drop into the Bee and Barb.

'One Nord mead,' Gallus told the Argonian innkeeper who hurried over to us as we sat down. 'An Alto wine… and I think I'll have a Velvet Lechance this time.' He tipped the money into the Argonian's palm.

'How can you even touch that stuff?' I asked in disbelief.

'It's good. You should try it some time. And it really is perfectly safe.'

Mercer rolled his eyes, grinned at me, and mouthed something that looked suspiciously like _loony._

As we waited for our drinks to arrive, I noticed the pair sitting at the next table glance conspiratorially around, before starting to whisper in low voices. I pricked up my ears and listened intently. I stayed only half interested until one of them mentioned the words _unimaginable fortune. _Then, naturally, I became very interested indeed.

'It's a legend, Phinias,' growled the first, an Orc in armour so heavy it was a wonder he could move around. 'They don't exist.'

'It's not a legend, Groth. Why would anyone want to dream up something like that? My ancestors delved into that ruin, and they would have found them, had it not been for the Falmer.' The second, a Breton, folded his arms.

'All they'd have found would be some cobwebs and mushrooms.'

'The Eyes of the Falmer are real. Tales have been told about them for centuries. They're the most valuable jewels in existence- think of the reward if we were to find them!'

The Orc narrowed his eyes. 'Phinias, mate, we've been travelling together for a while now. I'm happy delving into ancient Nordic tombs and wiping out bandits, but Dwemer ruins is where I draw the line.'

'Gallus. Mercer.' I nudged them gently and nodded in the direction of the squabbling pair. 'Are you hearing this?'

Gallus's gaze didn't shift from his drink, but I could see the excited gleam beginning to form in his eyes. 'I'm hearing it.'

'But why? Dozens of adventurers just like us have gone into them and come out alive. Nobody's ever made it out of Irkgnthand before, but why on Nirn does that mean we can't be the first?'

'Phin, seriously. Two of us against Falmer, Chaurus, Dwemer guardians… have you lost your senses? We'd be dead in minutes. Remember what happened in Mzulft?'

'That was different. We were much less experienced then.'

'We got Arjna killed.'

'Then the best way to honour her memory is to not let ourselves be put off by what happened to her! Please, Groth… it's not even that long a journey, just west of Windhelm.'

Groth grunted. 'Are you more concerned about the adventure or the money?'

'Both,' the Breton admitted. 'Come on, Groth. It would be the adventure of a lifetime. And they're as valuable as valuable can be!'

The Orc groaned and put his head in his hands. 'You want us both to risk getting killed for the sake of two gemstones that may not even exist?'

Gallus was beginning to grin.

'Well, if you put it like that…'

'Come on, Phin. It's just begging to get killed. Let's leave it until we're more experienced and we've got more people on our side. Then maybe I'll think about it.'

There was a pause. Then finally the Breton relented. 'All right. I can see your heart's not in it. We could always try that place near Riverwood, Bleak Falls Barrow…'

As the two adventurers started discussing the risks of Draugr and ancient ruins, Gallus put down his drink and turned to us, beaming.

Mercer let out a groan and thumped his head on the table.

* * *

'Mercer, please. Come with us.'

'I said no.'

'It'll be a quest like no other. It'll be a Guild legend, told for centuries after our deaths. If you don't go, you'll be missing out on an honour greater than any other.'

'Well, that just breaks my heart. I'm not going.'

I supressed a long sigh. I should have known better than to hope that either of them would let the subject drop. Now the whole Flagon was staring at us. After Mercer's less-than-appreciative reaction, we had walked back to the Flagon in frosty silence- Gallus jittering with excitement, Mercer quietly smouldering with anger, and me silently praying for them both to come to their senses. I had hoped with all my heart that they would leave it there. But it appeared my wishes were not to be fulfilled.

'Mercer, you're as bad as that Orc! We stand less of a chance of getting killed if you come with us.' The eagerness was fading from Gallus's voice, to be replaced by bewilderment and unhappiness. Unhappiness. It sounded wrong in his mouth.

'No, no, and no again.' Mercer slammed his fist down on the bar, making the mugs lying on top of it quiver and jump a little way into the air. 'Even if the things do exist-'

'They do! I've heard about them before, but I never knew where they were. If I had, I'd have gone after them long ago.'

'Gallus, listen to me. We'd never make it all the way through with just three of us.' Mercer glared at him. 'And even if by some miracle we managed it, and it turned out they weren't there-'

'They'll be there.'

'They won't. And anyway, who's going to keep the Guild in order if we go off on some wild goose chase after a pair of jewels that don't exi-' He saw Gallus's expression and corrected himself. 'That may or may not exist.'

'Then you can stay behind and take charge.' The Flagon was near silent, and every eye was fixed on the three of us. 'And you can leave us to the Falmer.' Gallus looked at me, and I could see a spark of desperation in his eyes. 'And you, Karliah. What do you say? Are you coming with me?'

I swallowed. In all honesty, I had no real desire to go. But this was the risk-taker side of Gallus, the side that craved adventure, and it was clear he was determined to go, whether or not I decided to accompany him. And though I had never been to a Dwemer ruin myself, I had heard a million and one stories about the dark dangers that lurked within their halls. Gallus was a formidable warrior, fearless and bold, and his skill with a blade was unmatched by almost anyone in the Guild. Only Mercer could defeat him in training, and even when he did it was rare. But surely even Gallus could not do such a thing alone.

'I'm coming,' I told him firmly.

A look of relief crossed his face. 'Are you sure?'

_Definitely not,_ I thought with a silent sigh.

'Positive,' I told him, with a determined nod.

'Then we'll leave at dawn.' Gallus turned his head, looking at the others. 'Anyone else who wants to come is welcome.'

The others glanced uneasily at each other. Elandine folded her arms and looked straight ahead. Delvin drained his mead mug and set it down on the table, staring into it wordlessly. Brynjolf shuffled his feet. Ahsla put her arm around her daughter's shoulders. Elruen muttered something into Vex's ear, shooting a hostile glance in our direction- which of us it was intended for I will never know. Dar'zha started to raise his hand, but Ma'rhaz hissed something at him in Ta'agra and shoved it back down. Dar'zha looked at his twin mutinously, but made no protest.

Gallus turned to Mercer with a final, imploring look. But the Guild's second simply shook his head and looked away.

'All right.' Gallus turned away, hurt clear in his eyes. 'If any of you changes your mind, you've got until tomorrow.'

Nobody said anything. The silence seemed loud and almost painful, as he turned his back and walked away.

* * *

I found him outside on the bridge, looking into the water of the canal. The twin moons shone overhead, reflected in the black water along with the stars. The streets were quiet, disturbed only by a few wandering citizens and a couple of stray dogs. The sky was the colour of a raven's feathers, unbroken by clouds.

His face was covered in a mixture of anger, sorrow, and determination. As I walked quietly over to him and stood by his side, he gave me a small smile. 'Thank you,' he said softly.

'Well, someone has to go with you.'

'I didn't just mean that.'

Confused, I fell silent. We both stared into the shimmering surface of the starlit water, watching as it rippled gently in the calm, still air.

'I suppose someone has to keep an eye on the Flagon while we're gone.' I wasn't sure who Gallus was trying to convince, me, or himself. 'And it really has to be one of the three of us. We're Nightingales, after all, so it shouldn't be too hard for us to make it by ourselves. And Mercer doesn't have to go if he doesn't want to.'

'That's considerate of you,' I said. 'Now tell me what you really think.'

Gallus sighed. He stooped and picked up a small, round pebble lying on the path. Turning it over in his fingers, he kept his eyes fixated on it as he replied. 'Really, I'm being a fool. I should have got this... eager part of me under control a long time ago. And I can understand why he doesn't want to go. I can understand why none of them want to go. But… it hurts.' He sighed again in a bitter way and tossed the stone into the water. It struck the water in the centre of the reflection of the moon Masser, making its shining disc dissolve in blood-red ripples.

'Because you hoped they were more loyal to you than that?' I asked him, raising my eyebrows.

'Partly.'

'They're loyal to you, Gallus. We all are. We always will be.'

How often I look back on those words now, and weep at how foolish and naïve they were…

He smiled sadly. 'Oh, I know. None of them would ever betray me, I am almost certain of it. And yet… I would follow them to Oblivion and back. I cannot help but feel… wounded… that only one of them is prepared to do the same for me.'

I felt my insides twist with pity. Gallus had made us his whole life. He organised us, led us, looked after us, kept us together as a Guild, rather than a group of thieves. Was this how we repaid him? 'Gallus, they would. I'm sure they would. If Mercer of any of the others saw you in danger, they would help. They just…' I trailed off. They could see him in danger, right here, and right now. He was walking into the jaws of death, for no other reason than the thrill of adventure. Yet only I was standing at his side.

He blinked. 'It's all right, Karliah. It's not my place to ask them to risk their lives for me, and I'm being selfish. I'll get over it.'

I smiled. 'Nobody in their right mind would ever accuse you of being selfish.'

He snorted. 'If I was not, why would I be leading you into a place from where you might never return? Mercer's right. I have no right to ask you to come with me, nor any right to endanger the lives of others. It's a fool's errand. The Eyes can stay where they are.'

I stared at him, stunned. 'No!'

Surprised, he turned to look at me.

'I'm not having that,' I told him firmly. 'I'm not having you giving up because nobody else thought they were up to it. You never give up.'

He swallowed. 'Karliah… if something happened to you because I was foolish enough to lead you into a place of death, I would never forgive myself. I can't risk it.'

The responsible Guildmaster was back, cautious and wary. I hastened to console him. 'Gallus, I believe in you. I know that we can do this. We're Nightingales- Nocturnal will watch over us. If we didn't go to Irkgnthand, you know we'd regret it for the rest of our lives.'

He closed his eyes. 'Please, Karliah. Please stop. You're ripping me in half.'

I frowned. 'What do you mean?'

He screwed up his face for a moment, as if trying to stop himself from crying. 'Half of me is saying exactly the same thing that you're saying. It's saying that it'll be an adventure, and we'll pull through it fine, and we've got nothing to worry about, and that I shouldn't take it to heart that nobody else wants to come. And the other half of me thinks I'm insane. It agrees with Mercer. It's saying that if we go to Irkgnthand, we'll both be killed. We'll be slaughtered down in the darkness there and nobody will ever know. And it's saying that I've got no right to do that to you.'

He buried his head in his hands. 'It's impossible! How am I meant to win an argument with myself? Sometimes I wish I'd never become Guildmaster- or a Nightingale.'

'Gallus!' I gasped, shocked. 'Don't say that! You're the best Guildmaster we could possibly have. You've always looked after us, no matter what. And we are _all _loyal to you. And you are loyal to us. But you don't have to be so loyal that you can't rise to a challenge every now and again! And you should be glad you're a Nightingale. Nocturnal looks after her own, right?'

He looked up at me, and I shivered despite the fact that the evening was warm without a trace of a breeze. It was as if he was looking right inside me, seeing into the very depths of my spirit and soul. 'Karliah, please be honest with me now. Tell me. Do you think I should go, or not?'

I took a deep breath, intensely aware that what I was about to say could determine our fates. If we were to stay, the Guild would be relieved. They'd be glad that we weren't going to endanger our lives. But there would be some- Elruen, perhaps, and maybe Vex- who would be disappointed. Cowards. That's how they might well see us. Backing out of a commitment.

But would it be worth it, if we were to go? Gallus was right, Mercer had been right, and the Orc in the Bee and Barb had been right too. It was too risky, to dangerous. Too likely that we would be killed. And what would the Guild do then? How would Mercer find two new Nightingales?

But what if we did survive? What if we both made it out alive after all? What if we found the Eyes? The Guild would be given a fortune. We would achieve something no man, elf or beast had ever achieved before. It would be the quest of a lifetime.

Even as I thought that, a quiver of excitement ran through me. And I knew in that moment that we had to go.

'Yes,' I said softly. 'I think you should go.' I smiled at him. 'And I'm coming with you.'

There was a moment of silence. Then he smiled- not his usual smile, but a real, heartfelt smile of gratitude. And as that smile returned to his face, I saw the roguish glint return to his eyes. The unhappy, uncertain man was gone. Once again, he was the Gallus I knew.

'Thank you,' he said.

And I think we both knew he wasn't only talking about Irkgnthand.

* * *

**I originally intended for this chapter to go right into Irkgnthand but… I decided to have a cliffhanger, of sorts. Plus, I didn't want to take the focus away from the Gallus/Karliah moment by lots of action, adventure, Falmer killing, etc. Sorry for the shortness of this chapter, but I decided having two slightly shorter chapters would be better than one long one that would send everybody to sleep. Hope I was right!**

**Now, can I point you hopefully towards that little box at the bottom of the screen? The one that says 'Type your review for this chapter here,' on it? Because I seriously adore reading your reviews- it's almost as fun as writing the story. Maybe more fun. It's been absolutely wonderful to see so much positive feedback from so many people. And I would like nothing better than to have even more from even more people! So please, since we're about to reach a turning point in the story, I'd love to know what you think I've done well, what bits you thought could be improved, and what your favourite bit has been so far. Thank you!**


	16. Fear

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

One of the many, many lessons that my mother taught me is that belief is harder than it seems.

If you wish to believe in yourself, then first, you must be believed in by others.

And when one person believes in you, perhaps another will too.

And then another.

And another.

And finally, you'll look at the hordes of people who believe in you, who are prepared to follow you to the gates of Oblivion, and you'll realise that now, at last, you believe in yourself.

Why else would she tell me what she did, as I prepared to leave her behind forever?

'_Two words, Karliah. Two words that may one day make the difference between life and death. No matter how hard things get, no matter how hopeless things seem, no matter how much you want to simply give up, always remember them. Trust yourself. It's harder than it seems, Karliah. Self-belief isn't something that comes naturally. You can take an entire lifetime trying to build it up within yourself, as if you were constructing a tower inside your mind, only to have the slightest thing, the tiniest wrong decision, bring it crashing down, broken beyond repair. What people do and say can make you feel that it is impossible. But never let anybody steal your dreams. You never know what you're capable of until you try, and as long as you believe and trust in yourself you are capable of anything at all…'_

Yes, I remember every word. I do not only remember them- they are burned into my memory. Her final gift to me.

As I led Dusk out of the stables, I was thinking of those words. Gallus, standing by the side of the path, was preparing his horse with his usual small smile on his face. Neither of us had spoken about our conversation last night. It was as if we had made some unspoken, mutual agreement that the words we had shared belonged in the time that they had been said, not in the present. Yet it was clear that what I had said to him had helped. He was quietly humming an old Guild ditty as he adjusted his stirrups and tightened Ebony's girth, and the quest-seeking gleam had returned to his eyes.

That was good. He looked wrong without it.

I was glad he had managed to find confidence in himself again. My pledge to stand at his side, along with my insistence that the Guild believed in him, had helped him to believe in himself once more. And to give them their due, the Guild had been going out of their way to help us prepare for our mission. Ahsla and Tonilia donated an entire pile of books on Irkngthand and the Eyes of the Falmer, which Gallus and I had spent several hours poring over the night before. The twins had unexpectedly revealed that they had once ventured a little way into a Dwemer ruin and spent the most part of the morning listing the various hazards we should look out for. Delvin had given us a gruff, 'You better come back,' as we'd passed him. Mercer had taken it upon himself to deliver our weapons to Balimund, the blacksmith, in order to make sure they were honed to perfection before we set out. The moment he'd arrived back, Elandine practically snatched them out of his hand and marched over to her enchanting table. Five minutes later, she was thrusting them back into our hands, proclaiming, 'The sword will absorb your enemy's health and stamina, and the bow will freeze them and shock them. Take some soul gems in case they need recharging. And try not to get killed.'

It wasn't exactly an apology, but we could both tell it was as good as we were going to get.

The prospect of a mysterious quest and unknown danger had aroused Gallus's sense of adventure again, and he was practically buzzing with excitement as he leaped gracefully into Ebony's saddle. 'All ready to go?' he asked, trotting over to me.

I mounted and double-checked that I had everything I needed. Bow, plenty of arrows, dagger, potion satchel… I couldn't think of anything else we would need. 'Ready as I'll ever be,' I told him with a nod.

He cast a final, wistful glance in the direction of the city, as if hoping that he'd see Mercer running to join us at the last minute, then admitted defeat and turned Ebony's head towards the road. 'Then let's be on our way.'

After much consideration, it had been decided that we would stop at Nightingale Hall first, in order to equip our Nightingale armour. We would be better protected by the enchanted metal than by our leather Guild armour, however tough Ahsla and Tonilia had made it. And the special abilities the armour granted us would be invaluable once we were in the ruins. What was more, though no Nightingale had ever managed to fathom how Nocturnal's mind worked, it might make her reasonably more well-disposed to us if we ventured into Irkngthand as Nightingales rather than ordinary thieves- even if there was no third Nightingale riding beside us. I looked with a small sigh at the empty space where Mercer and Flint should have been. It seemed somehow wrong, I thought, as we pulled up outside the standing stone, not to have the smoky-grey stallion cantering beside the two black ones.

'There should be three of us.' It was almost as if Gallus had been reading my mind as we made our way to the armour stones. 'I've never been here before with less than three. It seems wrong, somehow.'

My brow furrowed as question I'd never thought to ask occurred to me. 'How long have you been a Nightingale?'

Somehow, my words seemed to catch Gallus off guard. 'I was initiated when I was seventeen,' he told me, looking slightly surprised.

I frowned. 'That seems young to give your soul to a Daedric prince.'

He nodded. 'I know. It was my own curiosity that got me into it.' He chuckled at some distant memory. 'When I was a child, fairly new to the Guild, and your mother was still with us, I noticed her slipping out one day with Blade and Sereniel. They were acting rather suspiciously, and, naturally, my interest was piqued, and…'

'You followed them?' I gasped.

'I'm afraid so. All the way into Nightingale Hall and into a pitched battle with a group of Blackblood Marauders- though what they wanted with the Skeleton Key and how they found out about it I'll never know.'

I gave a wry smile. 'I imagine they were less than pleased to see you.'

'Well, they weren't exactly delighted. On the other hand, I could handle myself in a fight well enough even at that age, so they were glad for a helping hand- even if it was a very small one. And after that, of course, they had to explain exactly what they were doing several miles away from Riften in a secret underground hideout in strange armour fighting bandits without telling a soul. They told me as little as they could possibly get away with and told me that my life depended on my not telling anyone.'

'And you didn't?'

'Of course I didn't. Sereniel told me that if I breathed so much as a word of it to a single living creature, I'd be out on the streets again before I could open my mouth to protest.' He bit his lip. 'Any street child in Riften ends up in the Honorhall sooner or later. I wasn't keen on going there.'

I snorted. 'Can you give me the name of anyone who would be?'

'I don't know.' Gallus smiled mirthlessly. 'I don't think the children would be too unhappy to see a Dark Brotherhood assassin stroll through the door one day.'

I nodded slowly. Speaking of this... it made me wonder. What might my Guildmaster have been like when he had been a child? I knew that he had been young, very young, when he had joined the Guild, and I knew what had brought him to join us, too. I had only spoken to him about it once, some months ago, when we had been on a mission. I could remember the exchange now. Every detail was burned into my memory.

_ 'Gallus, can I ask you something?'_

_'Of course.'_

_'Sure?'_

_'Of course.'_

_'How did you end up in the Guild in the first place?'_

He was silent for a long time. At first I thought he wasn't going to reply. But he did, speaking in a hesitant, bitter voice.

_'I think there are still places in Skyrim - maybe even in other places in Tamriel - where if you said the name 'Desidenius' to someone in the Guild, they'd be more likely to say 'academic' than 'thief.' My parents were scholars. Quite widely known, too. Experts in anything guaranteed to send a young, energetic, danger-seeking child to sleep within seconds. As were their parents. And their parents. And to be perfectly honest, I hated almost the entire self-satisfied bunch of them. My mother loved me dearly, but she died when I was very young, and my father always resented me. I was just too different from him. From all of them.'_

_'So, you ran away?'_

_'Perceptive as ever. Things came to a head with my father and I one night, and I just ran. I didn't look back, and I doubt my family shed a tear for me. I was always the renegade, the uncontrollable child. I never loved them, and they never loved me.__ I ended up in Riften, without a single Septim, or a home or any knowledge of the Guild. I had no desire of falling to that witch from the Honourhall, so I hid. I taught myself how to hide in the shadows, and steal. It was the only way I could survive.'_

_'Until you found the Guild?'_

_'Until the Guild found me. Your mother found me, in fact. She told me I had talent- talent, nerve, daring and brains. She brought me into the Flagon. And the rest is history.'_

_'How old were you?'_

_'Young.'_

_'How young?'_

_'Very young.'_

_'How very young?'_

_'Young enough.'_

I remember sensing the invisible barrier that sometimes surrounded him beginning to appear. I nodded and gave it up. It was clear that I would have to be satisfied with the answers that I had received.

Forcing myself back into the present, I saw that we had reached the armour stones. Though I was dimly, unhappily aware of the third stone standing deserted, I barely paid any attention to the feeling of the mysterious armour melting form the air onto my body as I rested my hands upon it. Why had he told me all of that? As far as I knew, he had never breathed a word of it to anyone else in the Guild.

In the silence that followed, we turned to face each other. Two figures in Nightingale armour. An elf and a man. Two brown eyes. Two indigo.

'Are you ready?' Gallus's voice sounded more concerned than I had expected. Just as he had on that freezing midwinter's day, as I prepared to take the Oath, he was giving me a final chance to back out.

But I had promised him I would stay with him. And I would. I would.

'Always.'

* * *

Irkgnthand.

One moment, we were cantering through a haze of snow and pine trees, unable to see further than few metres ahead of us. The next moment, we were desperately yanking on the reins as it reared up ahead of us without warning. Huge. Formidable. Wreathed in snow.

And swarming with bandits.

Perfect.

Gallus and I dismounted wordlessly and tied Ebony and Dusk to the nearest trees. 'That's all we need,' I spat furiously, kicking the snow in irritation. 'We come all this way, and the damn place is seething with brigands!'

'Are we sure this is it?' Gallus pulled one of the books from the small library Ahsla had insisted we take with us from his pack and started riffling through it.

'Yes, this is it.' I snatched the book from him and flipped to the page that held the map. 'We're here.' I tapped the crinkled page. 'West of Windhelm, south of Yorgrim Overlook. Right on top of the little dot that has _Irkgnthand _written next to it. Did you fail to notice that or something?'

'OK!' Gallus laughed as quietly as he could and held up his hands. 'I was just checking again to be sure. It would be, to say the least, mildly irritating to reach the end of the ruin and find it wasn't Irkgnthand after all.'

I gave him a mock glare. 'Do you doubt my navigational skills?'

'How many bruises would I receive if I said yes?'

I grinned at him and flicked to the next page, where the author had sketched the exterior of the ruins. I held the book up in front of me and squinted through the trees, comparing the drawing sketched onto it with the sight ahead of us. 'This is most definitely Irkgnthand.'

'Thank the Divines for that.' Gallus patted Ebony's nose. 'I was beginning to get saddle-sore.'

'Then let's get moving.' I pulled my bow from my back and gave the string a tweak to make sure it was in working order. 'It appears we have a bandit camp to clear out.'

We crept through the trees as silently as ghosts, with some magic possessed by the Nightingale armour preventing us from sinking into the snow. I looked up at the outside of the ruins. There weren't actually as many bandits as I'd first thought- four or five sitting around a fire, cooking what looked like a dead goat, with a few more scattered around the outside, either keeping watch- and doing a particularly bad job of it- or simply loitering around.

'How many?' Gallus hissed.

Listening intently, I picked up four different voices around the fire, and counted three more sitting around the towers. 'I make it seven,' I whispered back, 'but those are just the ones I can see and hear. There may be more.'

Gallus inched forward until he had a clear view. 'Could you take out that one?' he asked, pointing at a man standing alone on top of the tallest tower, a distance away from the others, looking out over the woods to our left. From where we were, he looked about the size of a butterfly.

I gave Gallus a withering look. 'You really do ask some stupid questions sometimes,' I told him.

He gave me an apologetic grin and looked away, embarrassed. 'Sorry. I can see it's a tricky shot. I was just hoping-'

My arrow took the man cleanly through the throat, and he dropped without any sound other than a slight crunch of snow. I smiled and patted my bow in a fond sort of way. 'Now that was quite a good shot, even if I say so myself.'

Gallus gaped at me. '… Karliah, you may be a Nightingale, but I think eagle would have been more appropriate! How on Nirn did you do that?'

'That?' I snorted scornfully. 'That wasn't even tricky. See him?' I pointed at a second bandit, even farther away.

Gallus laughed. 'All right, Karliah. I'm impressed, honestly. But there's no need. Nobody could get that one, he's much too far awa-'

The word died on his lips as the man toppled from the tower.

'Nocturnal's mercy,' Gallus breathed. 'The Falmer are going to have to watch once you get inside there!'

I smiled at him and ducked behind the nearest tree. 'I don't want to go for those ones around the fire, they're too close together. It'd be better to pull this off by stealth, if we can.'

'Agreed.' Gallus nodded and took the lead, turning right under what looked like a collapsed turret. 'If we try to get that gate open,' he muttered, pointing at it, 'we'd alert the whole pack. We'll see if we can find a side way up.'

I dipped my head. 'If we jump over this pile of rubble, I think we can get to those stairs.'

'Indeed we can. One problem.' Gallus pointed to the Redguard standing on the top of the ramparts. His back was to us, and it was easy to take him out. He collapsed backwards off the walltops and slid down the stairs, coming to a stop at our feet. I pulled my arrow out of his stomach and replaced it on my bowstring. Gallus shook his head in admiration.

We warily made our way up the steps and along the parapet, stealthily creeping closer to the bandits' campfire. They were still there, and though none of them had seen us, it was clear that attacking in secret would be impossible. We ducked behind the wall, praying that we wouldn't be spotted.

'How do we get past that lot?' I hissed.

'I've got a plan,' Gallus murmured, grinning mischievously.

'You do?'

'Yes.' He chuckled and drew his sword. 'Improvise.'

'Sounds good to me.' I carefully loaded my bow and prepared to leap out of my hiding place.

The nearest bandit, a burly Nord, was quietly musing to his fellows. 'Might surrender myself to the guards and pay off my bounty… walk into a city as a free man at last…'

'Wouldn't blame you if you did,' an Orc woman agreed, nodding. 'The whole 'you have committed crimes against Skyrim and her people, what say you in your defence,' gets a bit tedious after the two hundredth time, right?'

'Tell me about it,' the Nord grunted. 'Remember that time I was in Markath and I stole a –'

His friends would never find out what it was he had stolen. He suddenly went stiff. Blinking in confusion, he reached a shaking hand around to the back of his neck, where he found my arrow still quivering in his flesh. His eyes widened, then he let out a soft moan and collapsed backwards onto the stone. There was a loud snap as he landed on the arrow and snapped it in two.

The bandits sat staring.

'Really!' Gallus took a step forward, twirling his sword around in his hand. 'Couldn't he have fallen the other way? That was a waste of a perfectly good arrow!'

The bandits leaped to their feet, snatched up their weapons and raced towards us.

I grinned at Gallus- his carefree mood was infectious. 'Half for you and half for me?'

'Seems fair!'

The first bandit had hardly gone three paces before he twisted in mid-step and crashed to the ground, his hands clutched around the well-aimed shaft that had ended his life. Gallus ran forward to engage the second. The orc woman brought up her blade to counter his attack. There was a resounding clang of metal on metal, then her cheap iron sword snapped in two and fell with a crunch onto the snow. As she stared in shock at the broken weapon in her hand, Gallus leaped backwards and slashed open her throat in a single, fluid movement. Crimson blood spattered onto the pure white ground.

There was a hiss of air, and an arrow bounced of Gallus's armoured chest with a clatter. I saw a third bandit- he looked like a mix between a Nord and a Bosmer- spitting with displeasure as he readied a second shot.

'How about a lesson in decent aim?' I shouted, sending an arrow into his neck. His bow dropped from his hands and onto the ground, and his body followed a moment later. The final enemy backed away, eye wide in fear, then turned tail and ran, almost falling down the steps in his haste to escape. I reached for my quiver, but Gallus was already racing after him. 'You've had six already! This one's mine!'

A few moments later, there was a terrified scream from the bottom of the stairs. Gallus reappeared a moment later, flicking blood from his blade. 'That was easier than I'd aniticipated.'

'Onwards and upwards?' I asked, pointing to the ramshackle set of wooden steps that to the roof of the tower.

'Onwards and upwards,' he confirmed.

Trying not to think about the dizzying drop that lay beneath us, we ascended the stairs to the next level. The wooden slats creaked under our feet and I could see Gallus wincing every time he put his feet down. Heights had never been his strong point.

'If you're so good at spying at us from the trees when you watched our assessments,' I muttered to him, 'how come you're so hopeless whenever it comes to climbing buildings?'

'Trees are different,' he retorted indignantly. 'There are branches to break your fall.'

I rolled my eyes.

As we reached the wide ledge, I noticed a small tent made of sewn-together hide standing at to the side of the towering building, next to a small fire. I pointed it out to Gallus, and he nodded. 'Does it look like anyone's in?'

The question was answered a moment later as the tent flaps were ripped back and a figure in heavy iron armour emerged. He took one look at us and whipped an enormous battleaxe from his back, racing towards us with a roar.

Gallus sprang forward without a moment's hesitation, and I cursed under my breath. It would be harder to get a clear shot if he was in the way. Narrowing my eyes, I took aim and fired. The arrow buried itself in the man's arm, but he growled and kept coming.

_Must be the chief, _I thought grimly. _And therefore, the most likely to have the best weapons and armour, and the least likely to retreat._

'Tell you what. You start running so I can stab you in the back.' The man swung savagely at Gallus, who leaped out of the axe's reach just in time. The vicious blade sliced through the snow, sending up a spray of shimmering white flakes.

'The thing about bandits,' Gallus said with a sweet smile, 'is that they never pay heed to their own warnings.' He lunged in, delivering a stinging blow to the man's leg.

'Son of a – ' The bandit chief sprung backwards. I realised he was trying to put some distance between himself and his attacker, as his weapon had further reach than Gallus's. Gritting my teeth, I took aim carefully and risked another shot. A moment later I was rewarded with an agonised howl as my shaft struck the man's hand, armoured with nothing more than a thin fur glove. He dropped his axe instinctively, reeling backwards. Gallus needed nothing more. He jumped a little way into the air and swung his blade. I realised what was about to happen and looked away with a sharp intake of breath. A moment later, the man's head dropped to the ground, rolled over the snow and fell from the ledge. His body slumped onto the snow a moment later.

Gallus stood still for a moment, breathing hard, staring at the corpse of his fallen foe. 'I hate doing that,' he said softly.

I put away my bow and walked over to him. 'Decapitating bandits?'

'Killing. Any killing.' He sighed. 'If these men and women had chosen a life of honesty and decency, they'd still be alive.'

I couldn't help but laugh. 'We're thieves, Gallus. Who are we to preach to anyone about choosing a life of honesty and decency?'

He chuckled. 'You could put it that way.' Sheathing his sword, he rubbed his hands together, and pointed to the fire. 'And since we're thieves, are you thinking what I'm thinking?'

I looked at the fire, and saw a few venison sausages pierced on a spit over it. I grinned. 'I'm thinking that this looks like Mr Bandit Chief's dinner. And I'm also thinking that it's now ours.'

We hadn't eaten anything more than a few mouthfuls of crusty bread since we'd set out, and the journey had taken several hours, so it was with some relish that we sat down to eat. The sun was beginning to slide down the horizon, and I found myself wondering whether we'd have to end up spending the night in the ruins. It was most certainly not a notion that appealed to me.

'So, shall we continue?' Gallus helped himself to a final sausage and a drink of the chief's ale, and got to his feet.

'Coming.' I kicked some snow onto the fire and nodded to him. 'Let's be on our way.'

Clambering up another pair of rickety walkways brought us to the engraved golden doors. Gallus put his hand on them and turned to me. 'If you're going to turn back, Karliah, now's the time.'

I put my hands on my hips. 'Gallus, what part of _I'm coming with you _didn't you understand?'

His smile was filled with warmth as he pushed open the door.

The room we found ourselves in was wide, tall and cold, made with walls of bronze-coloured metal. It was lit by a small fire in the centre-clearly, this was the bandits' main camp. It was deserted, though, so we hurried through it and down the corridor that led away from it without meeting any opposition.

Gallus was practically bouncing with eagerness. 'I can hardly believe we're actually here,' he whispered, eyes shining. 'After everything I've heard about it. It's almost too amazing to be real.'

'Amazing it may be, but from what the others have said and what was in those books, it's going to be dangerous,' I reminded him, warily fitting an arrow to my bow. 'The twins said these places were packed full of Falmer, and Chaurus, and those machine things.' I frowned. 'Antimonopolies, or whatever they're called.'

Gallus laughed. 'Animunculi,' he corrected me. 'Steam-powered mechanical automatons. The Dwarves invented them to guard their ruins, and even though their masters are long gone, they continue to protect the ancient Dwemer halls.' He grinned. 'One of the many things my tedious family drummed into my head. The most common is the Dwarven Sphere. Apparently those are actually the ones you have to look out for, because they're tougher than the smaller Spiders and faster and more manoeuvrable than the far larger Centurions, which are easy to take down from long distance.'

'Have you ever seen one?'

'No, this is the first Dwemer ruin I've ever been to.' We emerged into a large room with fencing around the walls as he spoke. 'But from what the twins said, and what was written in those books, they roll around in a metal sphere, and emerge from them if they sense an intruder. And they look like-'

'Like that?' I interrupted abruptly, pointing with my bow.

'Yes,' Gallus said, drawing his sword. He pulled up his hood and clipped his face mask into place. 'Exactly like that.'

The Sphere started clanking towards us with a lurching roll. Its sword swept through the air with a threatening swish, as if warning us to back off. It trundled to a halt, and its head clinked as it turned from side to side. I shivered. It was as if it was deciding which of us to attack. Even though it had no eyes, no brain, no mind, it was the way that it acted like a living thing that made it so terrifying.

I copied Gallus, shoving up my hood and mask to protect my face. 'Gallus! Get round the other side!'

My shout seemed to attract the machine's attention to me, for it started lurching towards me with its weapon raised high. Could it somehow hear me? I didn't stop to consider it as I sent an arrow smashing into it, followed quickly by a second. The first one struck between the metal plates on its chest, knocking it backwards for a second, but the second bounced uselessly off its casing.

'Aim for the weak spots!' Gallus darted round its back, distracting it momentarily. 'Try and get it between the armour!'

_Easier said than done, _I thought, ducking quickly as it sent a bolt from a crossbow built onto its arm at my head. It smashed into the wall behind me with a loud pinging sound.

It rolled towards me with its sword readied, exposing its back to my companion. Gallus's sword sunk deep into the gap between its neck and torso. Its metal plates screeched as it turned to face him- a noise that sounded eerily like a scream. It swung its arm, sending Gallus flying back against the wall. He collided with a loud thump.

'Gallus!' Adrenaline coursed through me as I fired a third time. This shot was luckier than my others- it hit the Sphere's sword arm. There was an odd popping noise as it ripped several cogs and screws from their places. The thing tried to lift its weapon, but it wouldn't move. If it was possible for a machine to look baffled, then it did.

Its confusion lasted no longer than an instant. It lifted its crossbow and aimed it directly at me. Fear coursed through me as I realised that this would be a shot impossible for it to miss. I readied myself, desperately trying to decide which way to jump to avoid the attack.

But the shot never came. Even as the Sphere was clicking its bolt into place to fire, Gallus grabbed hold of the wall, pulled himself to his feet, and leaped in front of me. For a moment, my heart clenched in horror, and I waited for the bolt to hit him. Instead, there was a resounding ping as the bolt deflected off his sword, which he brought up in front of himself with less than a moment to spare. Only a second after the useless shaft clattered to the floor, Gallus stepped forward and thrust his blade with all his strength into where the Sphere's heart would have been had it been a creature of flesh and blood. Steam poured out of the metal like blood from a wound as his razor-sharp blade pierced the casing. A final screech issued from it, then it fell to pieces without warning, clanging onto the floor with smoke gushing from its body in clouds.

Gallus lowered his sword. I let out a sigh of relief. 'Thanks,' I told him weakly.

'Don't mention it.' He winced and leaned back against the wall.

I looked at him in concern. 'Are you hurt?'

He shook his head. 'No, not a bit. Just a little dazed, that's all.'

I frowned. 'Are you sure? It looked like it threw you pretty hard.'

He patted his armour. 'This stuff's a lot tougher than it looks.'

I gave a small sigh of relief. 'Please, don't do that again. You nearly gave me a heart attack.'

'What, save your life?' he asked innocently.

I couldn't help but laugh. It seemed that it was impossible not to be light-hearted when in his company. 'I've got no problems with that. Just don't be so… reckless next time. If you hadn't got your sword in the way in time, that shot could have killed you.'

'Yes, but it didn't.'

I let out a huff of exasperation. 'I know, but-'

'Karliah. Listen to me. I got you into this.' His voice suddenly grew serious. 'And I'm getting you out, too. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. _Anything.'_

Without another word, he turned and led the way into the next chamber.

I stood where I was for a moment, staring after his retreating back. Then I shook myself and ran after him.

It was strange. If it had been anyone else, I'd have been angry. Irritated, at the very least. _I can take care of myself. _That's what I would have said.

But with Gallus… it was somehow different. As if he knew that I could fight my own battles, but he wanted to defend me all the same.

It was confusing. But I felt safe around him. Like I could trust him to protect me.

_It must be because he's my Guildmaster, _I thought. _He feels responsible for me. And I naturally trust him. That must be it._

And yet…

And yet there was something else. Something I couldn't name.

I shook the troubling thoughts from my mind, and hurried on.

* * *

For all of my life, I had always thought of the darkness as my friend. Something to shield me, hide me, protect me. Not an enemy. Not as something I would fear and avoid. To a thief, darkness is as valuable- and more valuable- than a lockpick.

But here, it was different. In this place, the darkness was not like the darkness back on the surface of the world. It was somehow more threatening, more menacing. The shadows I would usually welcome were ominous and reeked of danger. It was unnerving, unnatural. For a thief to avoid the shadows? To fear them, even? It was unheard of. Unthought of. And a Nightingale of all people? How could a Nightingale live in fear of the shadows that guided them?

Yet I could not change how I felt. And I could tell that Gallus felt the same way. There was an uneasiness behind every word he spoke and every move he made. And after a group of Falmer burst without warning from behind a pillar and nearly killed us both, it was somehow confirmed. We could not trust the shadows.

We could only trust ourselves and each other.

And so it was with some trepidation that we emerged into the enormous cavern. It was filled with collapsed and partially collapsed towers and turrets, and dotted with the dome-shaped huts of Falmer. We drew our weapons without a word, preparing for the battle that would inevitably come within minutes.

It began as we passed the first hut. By some stroke of ill fortune, the pale, hunchbacked creature crouching inside it turned at exactly the wrong moment. We both froze, praying that, blind as it was, it would not notice we were there. I will never know what alerted it- perhaps the sound of our frightened breathing. But a second later, it was letting out a piercing hiss and scuttling towards us with its sword drawn.

My arrow felled it before it could reach us, but the damage had been done. Everywhere, the feral creatures were beginning to emerge from their shelters, their ears pricked and their weapons at the ready. There were more than I had anticipated- twenty at the least. And they knew where we were. And they were hungry for blood.

The first few reached us within seconds. I stood rooted to the spot, sending arrow after arrow into them and watching them fall before me. Gallus's eyes glinted- whether from rage or excitement I couldn't be certain- and tore into them with a roared battle cry. 'I bring death from the shadows!' The Falmer surrounded him and lunged in, only to fall before his slashing blade like wheat before the scythe.

But immediately the last of their comrades fell, the second wave of foes gave out guttural snarls and raced towards us. Three of them fell before they reached us. Gallus brought down another two. I leaped back a pace, counting my remaining arrows.

Seven.

I gritted my teeth. I had to make every shot count. If we could hold them off for long enough, I could retrieve some from the bodies. 'I'm running out of arrows!' I shouted.

'I'll try and keep them off!' Gallus nodded and jumped into the midst of their ranks with savage ferocity. Surprised by the viciousness of his attack, the creatures drew back a little way. One of them jumped on top of a boulder and screeched furiously.

'Didn't you say something a minute ago about knowing the Falmer language?' I yelled. 'What's he saying?'

He shook his head. 'I can read and write it- thanks to a certain family of mine- but I'm next to useless at understanding it.' He frowned. 'Um… kill, tear, feast, blood… I can't make head or tail of most of it, but I think the general idea is pretty obvious.'

The Falmer atop the rock lifted his crudely- made axe above his head and shrieked. The others hissed, growled, grunted and bellowed as they broke ranks and leaped towards us.

'Don't tell me,' I shouted. 'That meant, 'attack.''

I slowed my breathing and let calm run through my body. Seven arrows. I had to make them count.

The one on the boulder was first to fall. If I had believed they would stop without their leader, I was mistaken. I took out a second as it leaped for Gallus. It twisted in mid-air and crashed to the ground. A third was scampering towards me with its blade glinting in the weak light. My arrow struck its heart, and it let out a final scream before falling silent and still.

Four arrows left.

At least ten Falmer.

An arrow ricocheted of the rock behind me. I turned my head, located the one that fired it, and took it out with a single shot to the neck. A frostbite spell iced the ground ahead of me. Gallus's sword took the caster through the stomach. An axe came towards me. Another shot fired; another foe dead.

Two arrows left.

_Make them count, Karliah. _I repeated the mantra over and over in my head as I selected my next target._ Make them count._

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw one scuttling over a fallen tower, readying itself to leap on Gallus from behind. I fired without hesitating for a fraction of a second. It slumped instantly.

One more arrow.

_Make it count._

And here came another Falmer. Blind eyes gleaming with hated. Sharp, broken teeth bared in a savage snarl. Sword raised. No mercy, no fear.

I reached for my final arrow. I took aim. I fired-

It raised its shield. A clack. And the arrow fell to the ground.

And the Falmer kept coming.

I reached for my dagger. Whipped it from its sheath. Crouched in readiness.

The Falmer tossed aside its shield. Two metres away from me, it leaped into the air. Cannoned into me at full force.

I cried out as my legs gave way. We both fell. I landed with a thud on the ground. The Falmer landed with a triumphant screech on top of me.

I pulled my arm free. It swung its sword at my neck. My knife blocked the blow just in time. It growled and drew back its arm to strike again. Terror, pure terror, shot through me. For his weapon was longer, stronger, and deadlier than mine, and though I was quicker and cleverer than him in every way, he would always be far stronger.

'Gallus!' I shouted his name as the creature lunged again. I twisted my head to the side, and the tip of the sword slashed into the ground. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Gallus's head turn. His eyes widened in horror. He tossed a limp, dead body from his sword and began to run towards me.

The Falmer brought back his arm, exposing his white, unarmoured chest. It was all the opportunity I needed. I drove my arm upwards, plunging my dagger into his stomach, burying the blade up to the hilt. He stiffened, bloodshot eyes widening. A strangled, choking sound issued from his throat.

I pulled out my knife. The Falmer let out a soft groan. His sightless eyes began to cloud with the mists of death.

But even as I collapsed backwards with a moan of relief, he summoned up the last of his strength, and drove his sword down towards my chest.

Panic coursed through me as I saw the blow coming. I raised my dagger, though I knew there was nothing I could do to stop it.

The sword collided with my armour. The dark metal twisted and buckled under the razor-sharp tip-

And gave way.

And instantly, the entire world erupted with pain as the blade sank down into my flesh.

It was agony like nothing I had ever experienced before, the pain to end all pains. I felt as if my very bones were on fire, as if my blood had turned to boiling water that scalded my flesh. I writhed and squirmed, yet nothing I could do could escape the vicious barbed weapon, as it slowly sank into me, seeking out my heart…

A wordless cry of anguish split the air, ripping from my mouth before I could stop it. The Falmer stared at me for a second longer. Then it let out a small sigh, and slumped over my body, limp and lifeless.

I felt as if the world was falling away, slowly coming to pieces beneath me. Darkness was moving in, slowly consuming everything that I'd thought I'd known. I felt someone shove the twisted carcass of the Falmer from me, and for a split second I found myself gazing into a pair of deep brown eyes.

Then my own flickered shut.

I let the shadows take me as the world melted away, and waited for death to end the pain.

As if from a million miles away, I heard a voice calling my name. 'Karliah! _Karliah!'_

Then blackness.

* * *

**Heh, and you thought my last cliffhanger was evil… *wicked laugh***

**Gallus's past was partially made up by me. I thought it made sense.**

**And those of you who keep pestering me for fluff... well, the next chapter has a nice healthy dose.**


	17. Promises

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

A golden sun is rising above the dark, whispering pines, streaking the pale azure sky with wisps of gilded cloud. A flock of birds, their voices shrill and piercing in the still dawn air, take to the wing, rising in a thick, dense cloud from the gently swaying trees. The amber leaves dapple the ground in every shade of grey imaginable. With wide eyes, I turn slowly, surveying the beautiful scene.

I hear the creak of a door swinging open behind me. I turn, a smile beginning to form on my face. Two blood-red eyes meet mine, and my smile is met with another.

I begin to run, my feet pounding on the leaf-covered ground. I find his arms, warm and welcoming. His deep, proud laugh mixes with my squealing, delighted one as he lifts me into the air and spins me around, holding me high above his head.

As he sets me down on the ground again, it is as if everything changes from a hazy memory to a reality. I am suddenly a child no longer, but a young woman. I have lost my innocence, but I have found wisdom. I have found a home and a family. I have found my true self.

A man I recognise looks at me, his eyes dancing with joy.

'Father,' I say, and his smile widens.

'Karliah,' he murmurs. 'I'm so proud of you.'

His hand strokes my cheek, and I close my eyes, rejoicing in his touch. Then he turns, and begins to walk away.

'Don't go!' I cry, rushing forward. 'Don't leave me! Father!'

His eyes sparkle with warmth. 'I will never leave you,' he tells me. 'I'll always be with you. I promise.'

And with that, he begins to fade. The rest of the world fades with him, the sun, the sky, the clouds, even the twittering birds. All of it melts away and is gone. And I am left standing alone.

No. Not alone. I sense her in the darkness before I see her. Her soft footsteps sound behind me, and I feel her hand on my shoulder.

'Karliah,' she whispers, and her voice is so gentle. I want nothing more than to turn around and throw myself into her arms, but I cannot move. It is as if a tyrant spell has bound me where I stand.

'Mother…'

'Do not grieve for me, Karliah.' I can only see her from the corner of my eye, but I know that she is smiling, smiling through unshed tears glistening in her crimson eyes. 'I lived and then gave my life for what I held dear. You have taken my place as Nightingale. I know you will bear it well.'

'This is a dream, isn't it?' I cannot keep the sorrow from my voice.

Her sigh sounds like water gently flowing in a stream. 'Yes, it is a dream,' she tells me softly. 'But why should that mean it is not real?'

Her touch begins to lighten and I realise that she, too is fading. 'Please,' I gasp. 'Stay with me.'

The fading stops. 'You have flown the nest, my little Nightingale,' she murmurs. 'You are flying into a brilliant, bright sky. You have no further need of me.'

'But I do.' I know I cannot possibly voice these fears to anyone. But here, in this dream, I can at last speak the truth. 'I do need you.'

'But why?' She sounds not confused, but maybe slightly intrigued. 'You are young and strong and wise. I have given you all I can.'

I do not think I can say the answer even to her. _Because I'm alone without you, _I find myself thinking. _You were the only person who loved me. And now you're gone._

'No, Karliah.' I blink in surprise. Did I speak out loud without realising it, or has she somehow heard my thoughts? 'Your Guild values you and trusts you. And there is someone who is willing to care for you, to cherish you and to love you. He is more than willing. He wishes for nothing more. And perhaps he is closer at hand than you think.'

I find I can move again, and I turn my head and stare at her. 'He is?'

'You do not need to find him. He has already found you.'

'But… Mother, how can that be?' I shake my head. 'That Falmer… didn't it kill me?'

Her eyes are filled with warmth and love. 'No, my beloved. Many years will come and go before you join me in the shadows. It is not yet your time.'

And she starts to fade again. This time I do not try to stop her, or if I do, I do not succeed. Soon she has vanished, and all that remains is her voice, soothing and soft in the darkness.

'Farewell for now, my love. Eyes open. Walk with the shadows.'

'Goodbye.' The word sounds small, somehow weak. There is so much more to be said, so much more I need to say, but I somehow know this is not the time to say it.

And now I am alone. Truly and utterly alone in the blackness.

But wait… there is a light, the tiniest speck of light. I squint at it, unsure whether or not it is really there. It _is _there- it is so bright, almost too bright to look at. And it is growing, growing by the second. Suddenly there is more light than there is darkness. And now it is surrounding me, drowning me in dazzling whiteness.

I feel as if the light is a river, a river flowing faster than the wind. And it is pulling me with it, up and forward. I cannot resist. I do not want to resist. The shadows hide me, but now, I know that the light is my friend…

And then there is a burst of light brighter than any other. And any last remaining trace of darkness is gone. And I am suddenly weightless, rising upwards in a swirl of rainbow colours…

I open my eyes.

* * *

It was cold. So cold. The air, the ground, everything around me- cold as ice, and colder.

The world was so bright it burned my eyes, and I shut them again instantly. Taking refuge in the shadows like a small animal, hiding in its burrow.

My whole body screamed with pain. I felt as if my chest were on fire- cold fire. Icy fire. Fire that licked away at my strength with greedy, flickering tongues. It consumed everything. My entire world was nothing but pain, pure, ruthless, merciless pain. I felt a sob break from my throat before I could stop it.

I heard a noise. Two noises. A rustle and a crunch. The rustle of someone moving without standing up, and the crunch of snow.

_Snow? _I thought in confusion.

'Karliah?' A smooth, rich voice, filled with worry. 'Karliah, can you hear me?'

The words sounded as if they had been spoken from a million miles away, but I heard them. I nodded, and the tiny movement sent agony shooting through me. I let out another involuntary cry.

I felt warm, gentle hands upon me. Hesitantly, I opened my eyes a second time. Everything was white and shining, and for a moment I thought that I had died after all. But no. The pain would not exist in death.

Slowly, my eyes made sense of the scene before me. I was lying on the stone floor outside the ruins. Dawn was breaking on a pale horizon. A light snow was falling, so softly that it was almost on-existant. A fire crackled nearby, but somehow I felt none of its heat.

Gallus was on his knees next to me, his dark brown eyes alight with concern. One hand rested on my shoulder, the other clasped mine in a warm, tender grip. Glad of something to hold on to, something to be a lifeline, I curled my fingers around his gloved hand and held tight.

A wave of relief flooded over his face as I gave him a weak smile. 'Are you all right?' His voice sounded slightly choked, as if he'd been crying. 'Oh, Gods, Karliah. Please tell me you're all right.'

Despite everything, I felt a spark of amusement glimmer inside me. 'I'm not supposed… to lie to my Guildmaster,' I whispered hoarsely. My voice scratched in the back of my throat as if it hadn't been used in days, and I found myself struggling to get the words out. Every syllable I uttered felt like it was tearing my chest in two.

'Ssh.' Gallus gave my hand a small squeeze. 'Don't speak if it hurts.'

I swallowed. It did hurt to speak. It hurt beyond compare. But there were things that needed to be said.

'You carried me out,' I told him.

He dipped his head.

'Thank you.'

The look in his eyes could have meant anything. 'What else could I have done?'

I tried to shrug, but only achieved in making the pain even worse. I tried to keep it from showing on my face, but Gallus wasn't deceived.

'Listen,' he told me, and there was a hint of desperation in his voice. 'I don't know the first thing about healing, or plants, or potions, or anything. I don't know how to help you. You're going to have to tell me.'

I let out a small groan. I wasn't sure I was up to talking someone through how to keep me from dying. But I gritted my teeth and nodded. 'Look in my satchel,' I told him. 'It should have everything you need.'

He nodded and snatched it up. 'I've got it here. I already used a few potions. The healing ones.'

So that was how I was still alive. I breathed a sigh of relief. That at least meant I wasn't in any real danger, and though it would be painful, the wound could at least be cured. 'All right. Can you see any blue mountain flowers?'

'These?' He held up a handful of small, light blue flowers with wilted leaves.

I nodded, and instantly regretted it. After pausing a moment to control the agonised tears springing to my eyes, I managed to choke out, 'They're good for painkillers.'

He nodded in understanding and pressed them into my palm. He watched with undisguised anguish as, infinitely slowly, I lifted the flowers to my mouth. The juices from the leaves were an instant balm and I let out a long sigh as some of the burning pain in my chest lessened.

'Now what?' There was a world of fear in Gallus's eyes, and I couldn't help but feel sorry for him. It must be awful to be so helpless.

'How deep is it?' I asked him.

'Um…' He hesitated. 'I don't know.'

I stared at him. I was about to ask _what do you mean you don't know? _but I think it showed on my face without my having to say a word, because he blushed furiously and said, 'Well… I was worried about making it worse, and, um, I wasn't exactly comfortable about taking off your armour without your permission.'

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't help but feel a little amused. 'Gallus, there's such thing as being over-chivalrous.'

His face grew even redder. 'Sorry.'

'Idiot,' I said, but I smiled so that he knew I didn't mean it.

His expression of relief at being forgiven quickly changed to anxiety as- after a few minutes of me biting down on the flowers with all my strength in order to stop myself from crying aloud with the pain- we managed to remove my armoured tunic, revealing the ugly wound that lay beneath. I couldn't see it properly- quite apart from the fact that Gallus was in the way, just raising my head seemed to take up as much energy as climbing the Throat of the World. 'Ok. How deep, and how long?'

He swallowed hard. I don't think it was because he was squeamish. It was far more to do with the fact that he couldn't bear seeing me in pain. 'Um, about that long…' He held his thumb and index finger about six centimetres apart. 'And… about so deep.' He shortened the gap between his fingers by slightly less than half.

I blinked in surprise. I had thought that the blade had gone much further in than that. At the time, it had felt like it had gone right through me. But then, of course it would have seemed worse than it actually was, and the healing potions would have partially mended it. Despite the biting cold, I felt warmth flood through me as I realised I had Gallus to thank for that. Clearly, I had been lucky- my armour must have prevented the sword from going in deep, and it must have missed piercing anything vital. But I would surely have bled to death within minutes had he not been there.

I forced myself to focus and let out a shaky breath. 'OK. A few more potions should be enough to fix the wound.'

He didn't seem to be able to move quickly enough as he dived back into my bag and brought out a handful of small, tough glass vials filled with bright crimson liquid. 'These are the right ones, aren't they?'

I nodded. 'That one in the round bottle is most effective.'

He uncorked it and held it to my lips. Swallowing the remainder of the flower, I allowed myself to relax as the cool, sweet liquid trickled into my mouth. I felt my strength returning with every swallow.

As I ran my tongue over my lips, desperate to find the last few drops, I found that at last I could move without the pain becoming unbearable. Slowly and warily, I lifted myself up bit by bit, wincing but determined to ignore the throbbing ache in my stomach, until I was finally able to examine the wound that the Falmer's blade had inflicted upon me. I had been afraid to look, but the potions had done their work. Though it was still encrusted with blood, it had at least closed up, leaving an angry red line. I had a feeling that it would leave a permanent scar- but at least it would not claim my life. I shuddered as I thought back to the moment that the sword had entered my body, down in the darkness of the ruin. I had truly thought then that my time on Nirn was over for good.

'How long do you think that will take to mend?' Gallus clutched the potion bottle so hard that his knuckles were probably turning white beneath his gloves.

'Hard to say.' I leaned back against the snow. 'It depends on how well the potions work.'

'We can't stay here.' Gallus cast an anxious look at the woods. 'It's too dangerous. Wolves, bears, bandits…'

_And only one of us is in a fit state to fight. _Neither of us said it, but I knew we both thought it.

I noticed that he winced as he turned to replace the potion bottles in their bag, and I narrowed my eyes. 'You're hurt.'

He shook his head. 'It's fine.'

I rolled my eyes. 'A Guildmaster isn't supposed to lie to his charges.'

'I took an arrow to the shoulder, that's all. It stings, but it's not much.'

I pointed to the small pile of potions. 'You need one too.'

'You need them more.'

'Haven't we already worked out that over-chivalry is a bad idea?'

He relented and uncorked one of them. 'All right. But I'm only taking one.'

I sighed softly and closed my eyes. Now that I was no longer in danger, exhaustion hit me like a blow from a sabre cat's paw. I wanted nothing more than to sleep for a week. It must have shown in my eyes because Gallus placed his hand on my shoulder. 'I'll keep a lookout. You get some rest.'

I smiled gratefully at him. 'Gallus… thank you.'

His smile died, to be replaced with a fierce intensity that almost made me afraid. 'I promised you I wouldn't let anything happen to you,' he said bitterly. 'I broke that promise. I don't know if I will ever be able to make it up to you.'

I blinked at him in confusion. 'It wasn't your fault.'

He didn't reply, so I continued. 'There was nothing you could have done to stop it. Please, don't blame yourself.'

He shook his head. 'I can't help it, Karliah. I never break my promises. This was one of the most important promises I ever made in my life and I _broke it.' _He sounded utterly furious with himself. 'You could have been killed. That Falmer nearly _did_ kill you.'

'Yes, but it didn't,' I told him, unable to keep a smirk from my face as I remembered what he had told me after his brush with death at the hands of the Dwarven Sphere.

He looked slightly taken aback as he recognised his own words. 'Karliah, please, listen. You nearly died, and as it is you were badly injured. If you had died, I would never have forgiven myself.'

I winced as I pushed myself up until I was leaning against the wall of the ruins. 'All right, Gallus. You're right; I nearly died. But why didn't I?'

He blinked, opened his mouth to reply, and closed it again.

'I didn't die because of you, Gallus. You _did _keep your promise. You _saved _my _life.' _I stressed the words, wanting to be sure that they hit home. 'If you hadn't been there, I'd be lying in a cave right now, being cut up by Falmer. And you know it. So thank you, Gallus Desidenius. And never let me hear you say again that you failed me.'

He stared at me for a few seconds, before breaking into a smile. It was a smile I had never seen on him before- a smile that extended not only to his eyes but to every part of him. As if pure happiness had taken him over for a fraction of a second.

'Twice now,' he said quietly. 'Two times now in as many days you have made me believe in myself when I was on the verge of losing hope.' He chuckled quietly. 'You're a most remarkable woman, Karliah Indoril.'

He kept smiling at me. And I smiled back until my exhaustion finally won its battle with my body. Sleep took hold of me with gentle hands, and pulled me down into its peaceful depths, with his final words ringing in my ears.

'Sleep now. I won't let anything happen to you, Karliah. Anything. I promise.'

And as I welcomed the soothing, painless darkness, I knew that he was right.

Because there was something in that intense dark gaze that made me certain that I could trust him with my life.

* * *

I didn't want to wake up.

In sleep, there was no pain. There was no fear. Only dreams, dreams I could never remember when I awoke. But they were peaceful dreams, dreams that somehow made me content and calm inside.

But when I was awake, there was pain. And it was pain that worsened with every passing minute.

From the moment I opened my eyes, I could tell that something was wrong. Not just something, in fact- several things. To begin with, I was cold, far colder than I should have been, even with the chill breeze whipping through the trees and the blanket of snow covering the ground. Gallus built up the fire until it was practically an inferno, and went over the bodies of the bandits with a proverbial fine-toothed comb, gathering up their fur cloaks to drape around me, and yet it did nothing for me. What I knew, yet feared to say, was that this was not a coldness that came from the outside. It came from within me, as if my blood had been turned to ice.

And the other thing that was wrong… the potions weren't working. The wound had healed, leaving nothing but a jagged scar. But it hurt- more than that, it burned like cold fire. Nothing seemed to work. Even the mountain flowers only provided temporary relief. They supressed the pain for a short while, but it always returned, burning even more fiercely than before.

And my strength was ebbing. As the sun set on that day, I found I was almost too weak to speak. Gallus was at his wit's end. I could see him panicking behind his calm mask, trying desperately to find some way to help me. But nothing was working. Nothing.

'It doesn't make sense.' Gallus was sitting with his head in his hands. 'We've tried everything. The wound's healed. You shouldn't still be in pain!' There was no hiding the anger in his voice- anger at himself, at his helplessness.

'It'll stop.' Just saying the words seemed to take everything I had out of me, and Gallus saw it.

'You don't believe that any more than I do. You need help, and I can't give you any.' He sighed, and took hold of my hand. 'The sword was poisoned, wasn't it?'

'Seems so.' I had suspected for a while. I think he had too. But neither of us had wanted to say it.

'Then we have to get help. Serious help. We can't stay here. But you're in no fit state to travel.' He slammed a fist down on the snow, sending up a shower of icy flakes. 'This is my fault! Everyone knows that people on missions should go in threes, for this exact reason! If there was someone else here, they could find someone to help us, and I could stay here with you…'

'But there isn't anyone else here. And for the last time, it's _not your fault.' _The words were barely audible, and they brought on a burst of pain that felt as if I was being stabbed all over again.

'No. There's no one else here.' Gallus got to his feet. 'Which means we're just going to have to do what we can.'

_You finally worked it out, _I wanted to say, but I couldn't summon the strength.

He looked at me, and there was an expression in his eyes I couldn't understand. All I knew was that it made my heart twist inside me.

Kneeling down beside me, he grasped my hand again. 'Do you think you could make it to Winterhold, if I took you on Ebony? I know that there are closer places, but I have a friend at the College. Enthir. He knows about the Nightingales. And he knows about healing magic too. He'll help us.'

'Winterhold.' I managed to smile. 'Sounds good to me.'

He nodded. 'Then I'm going to get Ebony. I'm coming back. I swear to the Divines, I'm coming back.'

He got to his feet again before I could reply and ran, ran through the snow towards the woods. I felt something within me cry out in protest as I saw him vanish. But I knew he would return. I knew he would look after me. He had promised. And he never broke his promises…

I closed my eyes for a long time then.

I did not open them as I heard the sound of hooves crunching in the snow. I did not open them as I felt Gallus gather me up in his arms and gently lay me upon Ebony's back. I did not open them as I heard his voice, filled with desperation. 'Stay with me, Karliah. Please, stay with me. I will see you safe, you have my word. I _will_ save you. I promise. Please, trust me.'

I did not open my eyes.

But I opened my mouth, and I let the words slip out. Words almost too soft to hear.

'I trust you, Gallus.'

* * *

**I can't help but feel that it's wrong for me to enjoy creating a chapter where my protagonist is on the brink of death and another character is suffering intense emotional turmoil, etc etc, but… I just loved writing this. Not because I enjoy making my characters suffer, but 'cause Gallus and Karliah are just so wonderful to write about.**

**This scene was originally going to be a lot fluffier, but I decided to save it up for what will either be the next chapter or the one after it. So, thanks for reading. Any questions, PM me, and thanks in advance to everyone whose next move is going to be typing something in that little box… because I really want to know whether you guys enjoyed reading the chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. :)**


	18. Moonlight

**Hello, readers! Welcome to Chapter Seventeen. Please accept my sincerest apologies for taking so long- I had the whole thing nearly written, then my computer crashed and I lost the lot. I am so so so sorry. I've had to rewrite the whole thing, so if it feels a little rushed and strained, that's why. Also, from now on I'm going to have very limited computer access, so I'm afraid it's going to be two updates maximum a week from now on… I am so sorry. **

**I hope you'll enjoy it anyway!**

* * *

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

The light was gentle this time, pulling me out of the darkness with a soft and tender touch. I let it take me; let it pull me upwards towards the world of the living.

The feelings came first. A feeling of warmth, wonderful, delicious warmth that spread over my entire body, banishing the evil cold. A feeling of tiredness- not the tiredness from before, where it had felt as if every ounce of strength I possessed had been sucked from my body, but a different sort of tiredness. The sort of tiredness one feels as they drift to sleep after a long, hard day. It was a good tiredness, a content tiredness. And then there was another feeling- the feeling that I was safe.

Then came the sounds. They came in layers, one by one. The wind, blowing, howling and shrieking like a wild beast. But I did not feel it, which meant I must be inside a building… and yes, there was the crackling of flames in a hearth. I could hear a low murmuring of voices, too quiet for me to make out any words. There was one voice I recognised… a rich, smooth, voice.

I felt a smile flicker over my face. I knew that he wouldn't leave me.

I heard the creak of a door opening, followed by a soft clunk as someone gently pushed it shut. Footsteps, quiet and slow, crossed the floor, making the floorboards squeak slightly. And then I felt a warm hand on my shoulder.

My smile widened.

'Enthir.' I heard him turn his head and call over his shoulder. 'I think she's awake.'

'You think right,' I murmured, and I heard a long sigh of relief.

'Oh, thank the Divines.' His voice was thick with joy. 'For a while back then, I thought I'd lost you.'

I blinked open my eyes and met his. 'You're not getting rid of me that easily.'

His eyes were so bright with happiness they could have illuminated the darkest night. 'So, how are you feeling?'

'Tired,' I told him truthfully.

He gave a small snort of amusement. 'Is that all?'

I nodded. 'Tired, and a whole load better.'

'Thank Enthir for that.' Gallus's immortal smile was wider than ever. 'I'm no mage, so I can't tell you what exactly he did, but I'm pretty certain it saved your life.'

'How long have I been out?'

'A whole night, and half the day.'

I looked around. It looked like we were in a tavern or inn of some sort. There was a thin coating of frost on the window, but I could vaguely make out a pale sky behind it. 'Where are we?' I asked, looking at him quizzically.

'The Frozen Hearth, in Winterhold. I was worried you weren't going to last the journey- you were unconscious all the way here. But it appears you're indestructible.'

'Indestructible she may be,' came a jaunty voice, and I looked up from the bed I was lying on to see a Bosmer man in blue robes enter the room. 'But I want to check her before she gets up.' He gave me a lopsided smile. 'Name's Enthir, by the way.'

I returned his smile. 'Thanks for helping out.'

'Pleasure. Any friend of Gallus's is a friend of mine.'

He pulled up a small wooden stool and sat down beside me. 'You know what I'm going to ask, Gallus,' he said blandly, without looking at him.

'No,' Gallus replied firmly. 'I'm her Guildmaster. I'm staying with her.'

'I understand you're concerned. But I need some space. Clear out.'

'Enthir…' My Guildmaster's plea was echoed in the begging expression in his eyes.

'Gallus, I'm fine,' I assured him. 'Thank you for everything you did. But you don't need to stay with me. Really.'

'You heard her. Out,' Enthir told him, pointing meaningfully at the door.

He got up slowly. 'All right. I'll be right outside if you need me.'

Enthir chuckled as Gallus reluctantly pulled the door shut. 'Sometimes, I think Gallus is never going to change. Too smart for his own good, so quick at stealing you miss him if you blink, best Guildmaster the Guild could wish for, and absolutely bloody hopeless in any sort of social situation.'

I grinned, realising that the Wood Elf couldn't have painted a better picture of Gallus if he'd tried. 'So, you know him well?'

'Sure I do. We've been friends since I was a new College graduate.'

'How did you meet him?'

He gave a short, bark-like laugh. 'Ha! How does anyone meet a thief? I caught him breaking into my laboratory!'

I burst out laughing, sending pain shooting through my body- but it was a weak pain, easy to bear. 'Didn't you call the guards?'

'I was about to. But then he made a comment that intrigued me. Lift up your tunic, will you? I need to check that the wound's properly clean.'

I obliged. 'What did he say?'

The Wood Elf grinned. 'He picked up a book lying on my desk and said, 'I see you've got a copy of _Notes on Racial Phylogeny and Biology, Seventh Edition. _An extremely informative and interesting read, though personally I disagree with what the author says in chapter nine, in the section about the Khajiit biology. The Cathay form of Khajiit is far more likely to occur during a waxing Masser and a full Secunda, not when Masser is waning- though of course, it may simply be a printing error.'

I laughed again, and the pain was so weak as to nearly not be there at all. 'That sounds very like him. So what did you say to that?'

Enthir chuckled. 'Well, after I'd got over my shock that the thief who was rummaging through my possessions had not only read _Racial Phylogeny, _but was smart enough to be able to point out the mistakes in it, I couldn't resist asking, 'So what's your opinion on the section on the Argonian immune system, where it says that Argonians are completely immune to disease? I've always been dubious about that.' He didn't even hesitate. 'Oh, they're by no means completely immune, though they are a lot more resistant than other races. You should read _An In-Depth Study of Racial Traits and Characteristics. _It contains a careful examination of all the races and their different abilities…' Enthir grinned. 'And so we got talking, and before we knew it, we were best of friends.'

He finished his examination and gave me another quick grin. 'That's healed up a treat. You'll need to rest for now, but you should be ready to go by this evening.'

I nodded. 'Thank you, Enthir.'

'Don't mention it. Anyway, it's Gallus you should be thanking. He turned up in the dead of night practically hammering on my laboratory door and yelling at me to help. If he hadn't acted as quickly as he had, there'd have been nothing I could have done.'

I nodded again. 'I know. I owe him my life.'

'He's an odd guy,' Enthir said fondly, 'but there's no denying that he's got a big heart and it's in the right place.' He tipped his head on one side slightly. 'He seems very fond of you, you know.'

I felt as if someone had punched me in the chest. I looked up at him sharply. 'What?'

The Bosmer shrugged. 'I don't know. But he seemed to be a lot more concerned about you than befits any ordinary injured friend. He didn't leave your side once while you were unconscious. And he seemed pretty damn happy when I told him you were going to be fine.'

I lifted myself up, staring at him as if he'd grown an extra head. 'You… you think so?'

'I know Gallus pretty well.' Enthir stood up. 'And trust me, he doesn't usually get this worked up about his friends getting hurt. He tends to deal with this sort of thing a lot more calmly. It takes a lot to make him loose his cool.'

He shrugged again and got to his feet. 'I'd best leave you to get a bit of peace. Call if you need me.'

I watched him with wide eyes as he slipped out of the door.

He was right. Every word he had said had been true. Gallus was usually calm, unruffled, and level-headed, no matter what. I hadn't noticed it when he had been caring for me outside of the ruins, but I had never seen him so panicked about anything.

_It's just because you were hurt, _a voice whispered in my mind. _He'd worry about anyone who was injured._

But would he, though? Once, Thjon had been caught by a guard whilst breaking into a house, and had staggered back into the Flagon with a deep sword wound in his arm. Gallus had dealt with it without batting an eyelid, without his cool, careful competence showing any cracks. He had calmed the Guild within second with nothing more than a few soothing words, and in less than five minutes the wound had been treated. Not once had the look of desperation I had seen in him last night entered his eyes.

_But I could have died, _the rational part of my mind told me firmly. _Thjon was never really in danger. It was only because I was so close to death._

But was it, really?

Could it really have been something more?

And hadn't I felt so certain that I could trust him to save me?

Hadn't I trusted him to protect me, down in Irkgnthand?

Hadn't I always trusted him, right from the moment I met him?

I had.

And my trust was hard to win.

What was it about Gallus Desidenius that had made it so easy to trust him?

And then there was that botched job in Windhelm. He had held a town guard at the tip of his sword, simply because the man had insulted me. And I should have been embarrassed, but I wasn't. I was flattered. Honoured, even.

And then that moment after we arrived back… that moment when he had squeezed my hand. That moment that some small part of me had wanted to last forever.

Confusion began to rage inside my mind. I… I didn't understand.

And when he decided to embark on that quest to Irkngthand, I had wanted to go with him. I had known that it was a perilous mission, a dangerous decision to make- but the simple truth was, I hadn't been able to bear the thought of his going alone.

And after I was injured, he cared for me so tenderly, so kindly… so affectionately.

Gallus was kind to everyone. He was always ready with a smile and a compassionate word for those who needed one.

But… affectionate? _Loving_, even?

Those were words I would never have thought I would use to describe him.

But what other words were there?

'Divines above,' I whispered.

What in the name of Mara was happening to me?

* * *

It was midnight, or else so close to midnight that it made no difference. The blanket of darkness was smothering the entire world, broken only by the shimmering starlight and the silver and russet beams of the moons. The Cistern was filled with silence, except for Delvin's thunderous snores, and the slight sound of Dar'zha purring in his sleep.

We had arrived back a little more than an hour ago. Gallus had quietly related everything that had happened to Mercer, who, to his credit, never once uttered the words, 'I told you so.' Instead, he told us he was sorry he hadn't come and that he was glad we were back, and firmly ordered us both to get some rest.

And I should have got some rest. I should have been asleep. The ill-fated mission, my injury, and the long journey back from Winterhold had left me so exhausted that I should have been so deep in the ocean of dreams that it would have taken a herd of mammoths trumpeting in my ears to awaken me. Even the noise that Delvin was making shouldn't have been enough to keep me from sleep.

But no matter how hard I tried to let go of the world, sleep simply would not come to me.

My thoughts were in turmoil. They seethed so furiously inside my head I could not separate one form the other. They were impossible to ignore. It would have been easier to ignore a horker sitting on my head than it would have been to block out the confusion that raged within me. It was as if someone had been stirring my emotions too vigorously, and they had started to swirl and churn and spill over.

But there was one thing they all had in common. And that was that each and every one of them led back to the exact same person.

Gallus.

Every time I closed my eyes, I saw his smile and heard his deep, soft chuckle. Every time I turned over, pulled my blankets around me and tried to block out the universe, I'd see his eyes shining with joy and warmth. Memories played over and over in my mind, words echoing inside my brain, refusing to be silent.

_He seemed to be a lot more concerned about you than befits any ordinary injured friend._

_I swore an oath to guard you with my life and I swear to the Gods I will._

_You're a most remarkable woman, Karliah Indoril._

It was impossible. How could I sleep with this turmoil going on in my head?

I let out a soft groan. I simply didn't understand. I could hit a sparrow on the wing without looking at it. I could pick a lock within ten seconds. I could steal the entire contents of someone's pockets without them noticing a thing. I could make myself invisible in the shadows, I could make a poison so deadly it could kill a man the moment it touched his lips, I could even charm the birds from the trees with a song. But faced with these conflicting emotions, I was as lost and helpless as a child.

Delvin let out a snore so loud it could have woken the dead, and I gave up. Kicking back the covers, I swung myself out of bed and pulled on my boots. I cast a swift glance to the bed where Gallus usually slept. It was empty. Had he decided to sleep at home tonight? He had a house in Riften- Honeyside, I think it was called- but he hardly ever stayed there. He preferred to stay in the Flagon with the rest of us. I couldn't see any reason why he would want to be there now.

Or, like me, was he unable to sleep?

Shaking my head in a futile attempt to clear it, I got to my feet and started creeping slowly around the slumbering Guild members towards the back entrance. I needed to get outside, let the night breeze blow the perplexity from my mind and let the gentle light of the moon calm me. Perhaps everything would make sense then.

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. Why could nothing be certain?

Lost in thought, I accidentally knocked Delvin's bed with my foot. He jerked awake and lifted his head.

'Uh? Karliah? Where you goin'?' he grunted groggily.

'Nowhere. Go back to sleep.'

He flopped back down onto his pillow. 'Sweetrolls,' he murmured sleepily, already half back in his dream.

I breathed a sigh of relief and made my way over to the ladder. The worn wood was cold and smooth under my fingers as I clambered up to the surface. Closing my eyes, I could imagine myself climbing out of the raging sea of confusion and into clarity and understanding…

No such luck.

I reached the top, shoved open the trapdoor and tugged on the chain to open the secret entrance. It slid back, bathing me in moonlight. I stood there for a moment, gazing up into the two bright eyes, one large and red, one small and silvery-white, hanging in the heavens above me.

A cloud drifted across them, hiding them from view. I wandered out into the graveyard. For a few seconds, I stood there among the stones, before making my way over to the newest of them all.

I reached down, rubbing a few creeping bits of moss from the moonlit stone. 'Mother,' I whispered. 'Why aren't you here for me? I need you.'

It was sudden- very sudden, as if my mind had been struck by a bolt of lightning.

The dream. I remembered the dream. The dream I had dreamt while in the oblivion of near-death. The dream of darkness, darkness that had turned into brightest light. The dream where I had seen her again.

_'You have flown the nest, my little Nightingale. You are flying into a brilliant, bright sky. You have no further need of me.'_

_'But I do. I do need you.'_

_'But why? You are young and strong and wise. I have given you all I can.'_

_Because I'm alone without you. _I remembered them then, the words I was not certain whether or not I spoke them aloud. _You were the only person who loved me. And now you're gone._

_'No, Karliah. Your Guild values you and trusts you. And there is someone who is willing to care for you, to cherish you and to love you. He is more than willing. He wishes for nothing more. And perhaps he is closer at hand than you think.'_

I stood stock still, staring at the pale grey stone.

Could it be true? Could she have been right? Could there truly be someone who was willing…

And… was it him?

I don't know how I ended up there. All I know is that one moment, I was standing by my mother's grave, and the next, I was standing by the side of the lake. My feet took me there, through the sleeping city and down to the shore, as if I had been sleepwalking.

I looked into the water. It was jet black, reflecting the infinite sky above, looking like a pool of liquid ebony. A pool of liquid ebony that somebody had thrown a handful of stardust into. I looked up at the twinkling lights, tiny specks of glittering gold in the dark sky.

I gazed at the reflection of the sky in the water, and saw myself looking back. I blinked. The image in the water blinked. I looked at her- a young Dark Elf woman, lithe and slender, with indigo eyes like two pools of twilight sky. She looked so serene, so calm… so certain. How could that be, when such a storm was raging inside me, a storm of emotions I could not name?

I closed my eyes and drew in a long, shaky breath. And when I opened them, I had to struggle not to jump in surprise. A second figure was looking calmly back at me from the black water- a figure with dark tawny hair, a small, calm smile, and deep brown eyes that seem wise, sad, joyful and hopeful all at once.

'What are you doing out here at this hour?' His voice sent a quiver running through me, and something inside me started dancing. I pushed it down.

'I could ask the same question of you.' My voice was steady, even, not the slightest bit confused. I knew how to keep my emotions hidden.

'I couldn't sleep,' he admitted. He stooped and picked up a pebble, then threw it into the water. Just as he had on the bridge what seemed like a million lifetimes ago, he struck the red disc of Masser dead centre.

'Why not? I'd have thought you'd be tired.'

'I'd have thought _you'd _be tired.'

There was something strange about the way I was speaking to his reflection in the water, and not to him. Since when had I been afraid to look him in the eye?

'I am tired. I just couldn't sleep.'

'Same here.' His smile twisted slightly. 'Actually, I was worried about you.'

I smiled. 'I keep telling you, I'm _fine.'_

'I know you keep telling me. But it's my job to worry. And you're not supposed to lie to your Guildmaster, remember?'

'Gallus. I'm fine.' And it was true. Physically, I was fine. The wound was healed, the poison cleansed from my body. But my mind? I knew that it would never recover from the events of the last few days.

'If I try to apologise again, will you tell me not to be ridiculous?'

'Yes.'

'I'm sorry.'

'Don't be ridiculous.'

'Karliah. Please, listen. I'm sorry.'

'Don't be. There's nothing to be sorry for. You saved my life, Gallus.'

'But I nearly didn't.'

'But you did.'

'Yes, but-'

'But nothing. Enthir healed me, but you brought me to him. Who kept the Falmer from me when I was unconscious? You did. Who stopped me from dying with those potions? You did. Who carried me all the way to Winterhold? You did. So for the love of the Divines, stop apologising.'

We stood there in silence for a few moments. Then he spoke. Hesitantly. Carefully. As if he was selecting every word with the utmost care.

'I thought you were going to die, Karliah.'

I blinked. I already knew that. We had both thought I was going to die.

When I didn't answer, he went on. 'If you had, I would never have forgiven myself.'

'How many times am I going to have to tell you to stop beating yourself up?'

'Karliah- no. Listen. Please. Listen to me.'

There was an intensity in his voice, a tone of quiet demand that allowed no refusal. I tore my eyes away from the shimmering stretch of water and met his dark brown gaze.

'I'm listening, Gallus.'

He drew in a deep breath. 'There are things I've needed to say to you for a long time now. And I don't think I'll get another opportunity after this. My father used to tell me that you should never let a chance go by, because you never know if you'll get another one.' He smiled ruefully. 'Of course, he meant chances to read the most boring books written in the history of Nirn… but the point still stands.'

He looked down at the ground. 'The thing is… if it had been anyone else, Karliah, it would have been different. If any other member of this Guild had died down in the darkness of that ancient ruin, it would have been terrible. I would have blamed myself for the rest of my life; I would have hated myself for letting it happen. But you, Karliah? If you had been killed, it would have torn me apart.'

My heart was hammering against my ribs, and my breathing was quickening. The confusion in my mind was beginning to fade away, leaving a warm glow that slowly spread throughout my entire body. It was as if the softly spoke words were untangling a pile of knotted threads inside my mind, pulling them free one by one.

'It started… I think it was after Dralsi died. I saw how it affected you and… I don't know. It was like I felt some of your pain myself. And after we buried her, and I told you that she gave her life to save mine- I don't know what I expected. But I suppose I thought you would be angry. But you weren't. You forgave me.'

'There was nothing to forgive.' The words sounded so small, so empty.

He carried on. 'You know, I always admired you. But that was for your skills and your inner strength. Not so much for who you were. But I always felt comfortable around you. Like I could let my guard down. And after that day… there were so many things that changed. I… I was flattered by the way that you trusted me with your true thoughts. And I couldn't look at you in the same way after that.'

_Nor I you. _I wanted to say it, I meant to say it, I had to say it- but my mouth would not open, and the words would not come.

'And after I decided I wanted to go to Irkgnthand-' He stopped for a moment, and I don't think he was making any effort to hide the bitterness in his voice- 'You alone of everyone decided you would go with me. I know I've said this a thousand and one times, but you made me believe. You made me believe it was possible. Only you. Not even Mercer, who's been my greatest friend almost from the day he joined the Guild, could do it. But you, Karliah? You could.'

Everything had gone so silent. Even the sound of the waves had lessened, as if the entire world were waiting on tenterhooks to see what would happen.

'When I saw that Falmer stab you, I felt like I had been stabbed myself. That whole time that you were unconscious, I kept on thinking that if you were to die, it would leave a wound that would never heal. And when you woke up, and I saw how much pain you were in- I felt as if I would have done anything to have changed places with you, to have taken on the burden of that pain myself. And… I did feel it, Karliah. In a different way, to be sure, but I felt it.'

His gaze was still fixed on the pebbles. A black wave whispered over the stones, lapping around our feet.

'And when I brought you to Enthir, and he said that you were going to make it… it was like the sun had just come out from behind a cloud. It's impossible to describe. But I felt like… like there was hope again.'

He looked up again, meeting my eyes. There was a world of desperation and hope and warmth in his gaze, yet stronger than everything else was fear. Fear that I would dismiss him again. Fear that I would turn him away.

But I was not going to turn him away.

_There is someone who is willing to care for you, to cherish you and to love you. He is more than willing. He wishes for nothing more. And perhaps he is closer at hand than you think._ _You do not need to find him. He has already found you._

I knew in that moment that I had found him.

He was standing right in front of me.

I opened my mouth. I wanted to say everything that was in my mind- how I always felt safe around him, how I trusted him like I had trusted nobody before, how I had always wanted to prove myself to him, how much he had begun to mean to me- but somehow, the words would not come.

And so I said nothing.

I looked out at the lake, at the shimmering expanse of shadowy water, spangled with the twinkling, myriad stars. An owl swept across the sky above us like a feathered ghost, and the waves whispered and hissed as they ran over the pebbles.

I did not speak.

I sang.

A song my mother had taught me, one that she and my father had made together. One that always made something quiver inside me when I heard it. One that seemed to have some sort of magic about it- as if the words had been enchanted.

My voice was clear and fearless in the silence of the night as I began.

_Can you hear the sound of the sighing breezes?_

_Blowing soft and gentle, blowing to the sky?_

_Can you see the birds, dancing in the heavens?_

_Let us go and join them, spread our wings and fly._

_Can you hear the cries of their blissful laughter?_

_Let us wait no longer; we have stayed too long-_

_Let us take to the skies above_

_On the wings we've been lent by love_

_Let us go and join them in their song._

I was dimly aware of Gallus's wide-eyed gaze upon me as I paused for breath. I did not look at him; I fixed my eyes on the water, the liquid ebony lake. A wave broke against the stones, blurring the reflection of the stars, smudging the crinkled surface of the water with pale light.

_Can you hear the roar of the endless oceans?_

_Rolling on forever, far from lands we know?_

_Can you see the clouds, floating high above us?_

_Scattered in the sea wind, like icy drifts of snow?_

_Can you hear the whisper of the wind's soft breathing?_

_Come and ride it with me, for you make me strong-_

_Let us take to the skies above_

_One the wings we've been lent by love_

_Let us go and join them in their song._

I turned back to Gallus. His eyes were sparkling- I think perhaps there were tears glistening in them. He stepped up to me, and we gazed at each other for a second. Brown into indigo. Indigo into brown.

I drew in a deep breath. My gaze never left his face as I began the final verse.

_Can you see the stars in the sea of midnight?_

_Like a million bright jewels, set in night's dark crown?_

_Can you see their light, glowing all around us?_

_Beautiful and wondrous, forever shining down?_

_Can you hear their music, so sweet and peaceful?_

_In this joyful heaven, I know we belong-_

_Let us take to the skies above_

_On the wings we've been lent by love_

_Let us go and join them in their song._

As the final notes melted away into the silence of the night, we stood there on the shore. Everything seemed to freeze, as if the universe had stopped to catch its breath. Neither of us spoke; neither of us moved. I could not say how long that moment lasted. It could have been as short as a single second, or as long as a thousand years.

When Gallus leaned in towards me, he did it slowly, hesitantly, carefully. And I knew that, just as he had before I took the Oath, just as he had before we entered Irkngthand, he was giving me a final chance to back out and turn away.

But there was no chance in the entire world that I would turn away from this.

I had made my decision. I had made my choice.

And my choice was Gallus Desidenius.

I felt his hand on my shoulder. Soft, soothing and warm. My whole body tingled, as if rejoicing in his touch. Gently he pulled me in towards him, and I let him.

Because this was right.

This was wonderful.

This was how it was meant to be.

And a moment later, his lips met mine.

How can I describe such a feeling with mere words? Magic though they are, even the power that they hold cannot hope to tell of the burst of joy I felt in that moment. For words were invented by mortals.

But love?

Love came from the Divines.

I felt… I felt as if I was flying. As if we had truly grown wings and taken to the skies. As if we really were on our way to join the birds and the wind and the stars. As if the beautiful warmth that burned inside me like bright, glowing fire was lifting me up into the air.

But I was not flying. I was in his embrace. He held me close, and there we stayed, under the light of the moons and the stars, as the night-black water lapped around our feet.

It felt so beautiful. It was pure happiness, pure love- so beautiful, so perfect… so _right._

I did not want it to end. I wanted to freeze that moment, right there and right then, and live in it forever. For there was no confusion now, no hesitation, merely a plain and simple truth.

The truth that I loved him. The truth that he loved me.

I knew it for certain in that moment.

But every moment must end eventually. The boughs of the golden-leafed tree that stood behind us began stirring again, the waves recommenced their gentle whispering hiss, the breeze howled softly high above us once more. We broke apart, staring at each other with mingled bliss and disbelief. Disbelief that such a wonderful miracle could ever have happened to us.

But it had happened.

The proof stood right in front of me, his hand stroking my cheek.

'Gallus,' I breathed.

'Karliah,' he replied, his voice the softest whisper.

No more words were said, but no more words were needed. It was enough to simply look into each other's eyes. It was more than enough.

'I should have told you before.' His words were so quiet I could barely hear them.

'It doesn't matter.' I leaned forward, resting my head on his chest. His fingers played tenderly with my hair. 'We're here now. That's all that matters.'

'I had to tell you.' His voice is muffled, but I drink in every word. 'I came so close to losing you. If you'd died without ever knowing how I felt-' He broke of the sentence, and I think he was choking back tears.

I raised my head and met his eyes again. 'But I didn't. You saved me. And now we've got the rest of our lives.'

His smile was a thousand times brighter than the sun. 'The rest of our lives,' he echoed. 'And beyond that.'

I felt delight burst inside me as I suddenly realised. We had forever. We had all of our time on Nirn- and after that, we will both make our way to Evergloam. We had an eternity together. I could spend the rest of time without end with the wise, handsome thief who had saved my life, and stolen my heart…

There seemed to be no need for words. We simply stood there, hand in hand, looking out over the water, for what seemed like a century of ecstasy.

Finally, Gallus turned to me. 'You should get some sleep,' he said softly.

Something within me cried out in pain. I did not want to leave him yet. I did not want to be parted from him. I did not want this time of magic to end.

But I knew that he was right. Now that the perplexity in my mind had faded, leaving a calm certainty, there was nothing to keep me from sleep, and exhaustion was flooding over me in a thick, dark wave, so much so that I was suddenly finding it hard to stay on my feet. And something in me told me that he felt the same.

I nodded, and smiled at him. 'I'll see you in the morning.'

His eyes glowed. 'It can't come quickly enough.' He paused, biting his lip, then nodded. 'Goodnight, Karliah.'

'Goodnight, Gallus.'

Turning my back on him was the hardest thing I had ever done. Every step I took away from him felt like it was ripping my heart from my chest…

'Karliah. Wait.'

I turned arouned, looking at him quizzically. He took a step forward, until he was standing beneath the whispering leaves of the tree.

'It… It gets cold and night in the Cistern sometimes,' he told me quietly. 'Come home with me tonight.'

For a moment, I stood staring at him. Then a spark leapt into flame inside me. _Let's see how long this magic will last, _I thought.

I walked back over to him and nodded. His smile widened still further.

As we turned our backs on the shadowy water, drenched in the shimmering light of the moons and stars, a nightingale swept over our heads and alighted in the branches of the golden tree. It paused for a moment, ruffled its feathers, and began to sing.

* * *

**And finally… after seventeen long chapters and a prologue… they get together! *Cheers ecstatically***

**The song's mine. I spent a lot of time on those rhymes... please nobody copy it.**

**I've got all nervous now, because I spent so long on this chapter (twice) and it's a big turning point. So… reviews! Please please please please pleeeeease!**


	19. Miracle

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

I had always known that belief is a concept that few understand.

But I had never thought that it would come so reluctantly to me.

I knew how to believe in myself. To trust in my instincts, my skills, and my judgements. I knew how to believe in that way.

I knew how to believe in others. Trust in strangers did not come naturally to me, but I had learned it. I knew how to trust that Gallus would watch over us and look after us and keep us together. I could believe that Mercer would always, underneath his hard, snappish exterior, be ready to defend us, and be on the lookout for danger. I could believe that each and every man, elf and beast who lived and worked in the Flagon alongside me was ready to raise their weapon in my defence, should they ever need to.

I knew how to believe in so many things.

But there were two things, that, until that magical moment down at the edge of the lake of liquid ebony, I had never truly had to believe in.

One was perfection.

And the other was love.

Perfection. To be perfect… why would I ever have needed to understand that, to believe in that? Why would I ever need to believe that it even existed in the mortal world? Nobody was perfect. Everyone had their flaws. Mercer's short temper, my natural reluctance to trust, Gallus's inner rage that he tried so hard to contain… perfection was something that did not exist in the hearts of mortals. There were those who strove for it, those who dedicated their entire lives to the search for it- but there was nobody who would ever reach it, who could ever reach it.

Or so I had thought.

Until then.

Because, I realised, as I lay in the darkness, there were different types of perfection. Only the Divines could understand the meaning of true perfection- to live without the tiniest shred of evil in your heart. Mortals could not hope to comprehend such a thing- it didn't matter whether you were a priest, a warrior, a mage, a thief or an assassin.

But there was a different sort of perfection.

In the eyes of another, you could be perfect.

And in my eyes, Gallus Desidenius was as perfect as anyone could possibly hope to be.

It was not because he had led a blameless, crimeless life. Of course he hadn't. He was a thief. It was because he had opened up his heart and his soul to me. And I could see him- everything about him. I knew him in a way I knew nobody else. And I knew what flaws and faults he had, and I knew what gifts lay within him. I knew every imperfection he had- and I knew that I loved him despite them all.

And that was what made him so perfect. Because I _knew _that he was not perfect- and I didn't care.

Perfection. I finally understood it that night.

No mortal could be truly perfect. And the acknowledgement of that fact was the first step on the path that led to perfection.

_Confusing,_ I thought with a smile. _But true._

And the second thing…

Love. I knew what love was. I had felt it for my mother, and for my father too, for however short a time. And I felt it for every member of the Guild. I loved the twins for their bright smiles and their enthusiasm and their loyalty to Gallus and to each other. I loved Brynjolf for his easy laugh and his dedication. I loved Elandine's fierce commitment, Ahsla's quiet encouragement, Thjon's good-naturedness, Mercer's perseverance and team skills. We were a family- and what kind of a family is one whose members do not love each other?

But this was a different sort of love entirely. It was a love that consumed everything within me. It was a love that made me feel as if the most important thing in my entire life was the man who was lying next to me, his eyes slowly moving behind his eyelids as he dreamed. It was a love that came with so many other emotions- devotion, dedication, fierce loyalty, and a passionate adoration that was unlike anything I had ever felt before.

It was a love that made everything feel right. As if this was what the entire world had been made for. As if we had always been heading for this.

And who was to say we weren't? Who was to say that, from the moment that the world of Nirn was created, Mara did not look upon us and decide that we should be together? Who indeed?

_Our destinies are what we make them. Nobody and nothing but us decides our fate, _my mother's voice murmured in my mind.

But what was there to stop this from being my fate?

If I could choose my fate, then I chose Gallus.

And if Mara had chosen my fate for me…

Then I was glad she had.

She had made the right choice.

As I lay there, listening to the sound of his soft breathing, somehow loud in the silence of the night, watching his chest gently rise and fall, I felt a wave of happiness build up inside me, so bright and warm I nearly laughed aloud from sheer joy. The hardest thing to believe of all was that this was truly happening. It seemed so impossible that this could happen. Of all the people in Skyirm, in all of Tamriel, even on all of Nirn- how had it happened that I, and no other, had been granted this beautiful miracle? There was an entire world out there. But out of every Nord, Redguard, Breton, Imperial, Altmer, Bosmer, Dunmer, Orsimer, Argonian and Khajiit that had ever set foot on the planet, I – I, who was nothing more than a Dark Elf thief – had been given the sacred gift that was Gallus Desidenius.

He let out a soft sigh, turning slightly in his sleep, and I felt a smile creep over my face. What did it matter how or why he had come to me? All that mattered was that we were together. He loved me, and I loved him- loved him with every scrap of strength I possessed.

_Who would have thought it? _I chuckled mentally. _And to think only a few days ago I didn't even believe in this kind of love._

Such a naïve thing to think. But that was the truth. I had seen people- people who had fallen in love and married and given birth to children together. And had I not been born out of my parents' love? Yet, though I had believed in its existence, it was a sort of love I had never believed would come to me. Why would it? I was always the wary one, the cautious one, the one who never gave out my trust to any who had not earned it.

But being with him… it had changed that. It had changed _me._ I hadn't realised it, but I had begun to change from the moment he stepped out of the shadows on that dark street corner. His presence- simply his presence, accompanied with those shining eyes and that smooth voice and that calm smile- had been enough to open my heart, to open my mind, to open up my very soul…

And this was the result.

The result was that I was happier than I had ever been before in my life. So happy that _happy _was no longer the right word to describe how I felt. Joyful, blissful, elated, euphoric… I could have lain there listing words forever, but I knew I would never have come anywhere close to how I felt. It was as if pure light was shining inside me, and it was dancing with joy and glowing with calm peace at the same time.

It didn't seem possible.

But it was possible.

The proof lay next to me, his hand still buried in my hair.

And so I questioned no longer.

Because what point was there in questioning it? It _was._ I _was _in love with Gallus Desidenius. And he w_as _in love with me. That was the truth- the plain, honest and simple truth.

I should have been tired. In truth, I was. I had slept, but only for a few hours. I was uncertain as to what had awoken me. But somehow… I was grateful. Because I was content to just lie there and watch him. I could have lain there for a thousand years, just watching him sleep.

It was a beautiful realisation for me, that even when he slept, he smiled.

And somehow, it was easier for me to smile, when he was.

The light in the room shifted slightly, from deepest blackness to darkness with a hint of light. Something inside me cried out with sorrow. The light meant that dawn was on the way. And dawn meant that we would have to return to the rest of the world, leave behind this realm of magic that had been created for the two of us. I did not want this to end. I did not want to leave this behind. It was a haven, a heaven even, one that contained nothing and nobody else in the world except for me and him.

I think perhaps the word for it was… paradise.

And I did not want to leave it.

Not now.

Not so soon.

Not ever.

No. I wanted to freeze this moment, freeze this magic, freeze this heavenly paradise- and live in it for the rest of eternity.

I heard a slight sound next to me, and realised that Gallus was stirring in his sleep, as if the steadily growing light was drawing him back to the world of the living. Pulling him up to the surface, the same way that light had brought me out of that deathlike sleep only… why, could it be less than a day ago?

I shuddered, despite myself. Less than a day ago, I had been so clueless. So… alone. It seemed impossible now, that I had managed to live so many years without him. And even more impossible that I had lived so long _with _him and yet had not realised. How had I survived?

It was… something I didn't want to think about.

But had I really been without him for so long, after all? Had it not begun so much longer ago that I had realised? He had been right. It had begun the day my mother had died. The very same day that the person I loved more than anything else in the world left Nirn behind, I had begun, though I hadn't realised it, to feel for another.

Because had he not been a shoulder to lean upon, a friend at hand, through it all? Had he not revealed every secret she had kept from me? Had he not guided me through my ceremony with patience, compassion, and understanding? Had he not been the only person I had found myself able to talk to, to reveal my true feelings to, as we stood by my mother's grave with that light, feathery snow gently falling upon our heads? Had the simple act of speaking with him not comforted me when nothing else had? Had he not found the courage to confess to me the truth of how she had died, despite his fear that I would be enraged?

Perhaps a spark of love had been in me even then, too small to be noticed, yet still there. Waiting, like every spark, for the right gust of air to make it burst into flame…

And all it took to make it come to life was for me to come an inch away from death. I couldn't help but grin at myself. Really, I could be so… _dense._

Gallus stirred again, and as I looked at him I sensed rather than saw that sleep had relinquished its hold on him. He did not open his eyes, but the rhythm of his breathing changed slightly, and a look of sudden uncertainty and fear crossed his face.

'Karliah?' he whispered, as if afraid to say it.

I found his hand and gripped it tightly. 'Gallus,' I replied softly.

His smile, which had been wavering, practically doubled in size, and he let out a sigh of relief. 'I was afraid that-' He hesitated.

'That what?'

His eyes flickered open, and I felt as if my heart would burst with bliss as they met mine once more. 'It… it might seem foolish to you. But… I was afraid that it had been a dream.'

It sounded like something from a story, one of the tales my mother had told me as we sat beside the fire, watching the flames dance and flicker in the hearth. And yet it was not a story. The words were ringing in the air around me. I could hear them, I could feel the tremor that they had induced running through me. But somehow, it was a thousand times more magical than any story. Because it was true. Because it was real.

And when I kissed him again, it made it more magical still.

Have you any idea how it feels to love someone so much that you wish for nothing more than to live the rest of your life by their side? To love them so utterly and completely that you would take an arrow through the heart for them without a second of hesitation? To love them with such strength that you have given not just your heart, but your life and your soul to them?

If you have, then perhaps you will understand how I felt in that instant.

And if you have not, then I pray for your sake that one day you will be blessed enough to experience that magic.

It was a different sort of magic to the one that had burned through us as we kissed down on the shore. That kiss was so much more passionate, so much more desperate. This one was gentle and tender, and somehow more peaceful. Like… like joy sleeping. Or like peace itself, singing a quiet song.

As we broke apart- and it pained me to do so- I noticed that the light of dawn was intensifying, steadily filling the room with brightness. But somehow, the light that shone in his eyes was brighter than the most dazzling sun.

'Did that feel like a dream?' I murmured, and his smile grew wider still.

'No,' he whispered. 'And if it was a dream, then… I'd rather live in a dream world where we were together than a real world when we were alone.'

Again, they were words from a fairytale. But this was a living fairytale.

'So would I,' I told him, and I poured every last drop of conviction and honesty I contained into the words. 'So would I.'

He kept on gazing into my eyes. We lay there in the brightening light, each of us simply staring at the other, and delighting in the knowledge that we were together.

'Has anyone ever told you how beautiful your eyes are?' Gallus murmured, after a few minutes.

I laughed. 'Not really.'

'Then I'm telling you now.' He squeezed my hand. 'They are the most beautiful eyes in the history of Nirn.'

I felt the warm glow within me tingle with pleasure at his words. 'You think so?'

'I know so. I've never seen any quite like them. Unusual colour. Blue, I suppose. Or violet.'

'Indigo,' I told him, smiling.

'Indigo.' His own eyes twinkled as he rolled the word around his mouth, as if trying to drink in the sound. 'Indigo. That suits you.'

I grinned. Silence fell again, and stretched on.

'Gallus,' I whispered suddenly.

'Hmm?'

I drew in a deep breath. The words I had wanted to say for so long, words I had nearly said down by the lake but had not been able to say, words that I had replaced with a song, slipped from my mouth before I could stop them.

Not that I would have wanted to stop them.

'Gallus,' I told him, so softly I could barely hear my own voice. 'I love you.'

And there. It was said. He knew already, I knew that- but it had to be said. So that it was certain, definite, and binding. So that he knew that I would not turn my back and walk away. So that he knew for certain how I felt.

His smile grew so wide it was almost too big for his face. He gently took my face in his hand and planted the most tender of kisses on my forehead. And the words he spoke made me feel like I could fly.

'I love you too, my little Nightingale.'

I laughed, deep inside. _My little Nightingale, _I thought.

I could get used to that.

* * *

I remember once, when I was little more than eight years old, I asked my mother how she met my father.

I remember to this day the look that came over her face. Joyful sorrow. Sad happiness. Her eye shone with a grieved delight as she told me the story.

'Listen,' she said quietly, 'and I will tell you.'

_Listen, and I will tell you. _The storytelling words, the words that heralded the coming of a new dream.

And so I listened, and she told me.

She told me how she, a young Guild member, out on some routine job, failed in the most basic instruction of all, the instruction that every man, elf and beast who enters the Flagon is taught to remember above all else. _Look behind you. _Never let anyone creep up on you. Never forget that just because you cannot see something, it does not mean that it does not pose a threat. And never overlook anything or anyone, no matter what or who it is.

She forgot that day. She did not notice the stray dog that lay slumped against the wall, its coat matted and its single eye closed. Easy to overlook. Easy to ignore.

She did not see it, and she very nearly paid the price.

For as she reached for her target's purse- the purse that hung so loosely, so temptingly- it opened its eyes and let out a bark.

One single sound. So short. Only existing in the world for a second.

But it determined the fates of so many.

Because, at the sound of that bark, the man, the man whose purse was so nearly within her grasp, turned around. And saw her.

And so she ran.

Through the city. Out of the gates. Stopping only to grab Dusk and leap onto his back. She ran, with the entire city guard on her tail- just like Gallus and I had ran, in Windhelm all that time ago.

With one difference. As she turned the black stallion towards the open road, the road that led to safety, an arrow struck her steed in the leg.

He ran, but every stride was weaker than the last. Every step, a struggle, every inch of distance covered, a triumph. But they both knew he could not hold out for long.

And then, as she passed a small, thatched house- small, insignificant, hardly worth a second glance- she heard a voice.

'_Hey!' _called the voice, low and urgent. _'Over here!'_

She pulled Dusk to a halt and saw him. A Dunmer like herself, standing by the side of the path.

'_Get round the back. Hurry!' _The urgency in his voice allowed no refusal. Knowing that she was putting her life into a stranger's hands, yet knowing too that her only other option was to ride on until Dusk fell, and that if he did they would be caught for certain- she wheeled him around, dismounted, and led him around the back of the house, the stranger leading the way. He snatched the horse's reins from her hands and led him behind the wall where he was out of sight, and showed her a hiding place behind a stack of hay bales. There she crouched, hidden and panting from anxiety, fear and apprehension, and heard the conversation that floated towards her on the wind from the road.

'_Hey, you. Dark Elf. You seen one of your kind go past here? Woman on a black horse?'_

'_Is it important?'_

'_She's with the Thieves Guild. We know from the armour. She's committed crimes against Skyrim and her people and it's our duty to bring her to justice.'_

'_Ah. I see. Yes, she passed here not a minute ago. She left the road just over there, and went into the woods. To the west.'_

'_Hah. We've got her now. She won't get far, with her horse injured like that. What's your name, Elf?'_

'_Elrandor.'_

Elrandor, she thought, and smiled to herself. That was quite a name.

'_Thank you for your help, Elrandor. Should we catch her, you won't go unrewarded. Come on, men.'_

And she listened with bated breath as she heard the thump of feet and clink of swords and shields as they set off running, the thud of their boots on the stone path soon turning to the crunch of leaved under their feet. She waited, and waited, until finally they faded into silence.

The next she knew, a warm, steady hand was pulling her to her feet, and a pair of eyes the colour of ripe snowberries were gazing into hers.

'_All right, friend?'_

'_Yes. Thanks to you. Why'd you help me?'_

She paused in her tale for a moment then, and I saw a light dancing in her eyes.

'_My mother always told me to go out of my way to help a lady.'_

'_Even a thief?'_

'_Even a thief. Maybe even especially a thief. If she happens to be a thief with eyes like yours.'_

I could imagine them as she said the words, standing beside the golden haystacks, the sun beaming down upon them, as if the Divines themselves were smiling upon their first meeting.

'_I think you just saved my life.'_

_'It appears so. But think nothing of it. It was an honour and a pleasure.'_

_'Does that make me the damsel in distress, then?'_

'_Only if I can be your handsome prince.'_

'_You're half there. You only need the prince part.'_

'_Why, thank you.'_

'_My pleasure.'_

She rode off soon after, she told me, and he watched her go. Both of them thought that they would never again see the other.

They were wrong.

'_What are you doing here?'_

'_I was passing by. And I realised something.'_

'_Is that so?'_

'_Mmm-hmm. I never told you my name.'_

She smiled as he chuckled. _'True. You didn't.'_

A pause.

'_Well?'_

'_Dralsi. I'm Dralsi.'_

'_I'm Elrandor.'_

'_A pleasure to meet you, Elrandor.'_

'_Same to you, Dralsi.'_

But it did not end there.

'_Well, look who it is.'_

'_It's nice to see you too, Elrandor.'_

'_What brings you here, Dralsi?'_

'_Oh, I was just happening by. I thought I'd say hello. Hello.'_

'_Hello.'_

And so it went on.

'_Greetings.'_

'_Greetings. Fancy seeing you here.'_

'_I _do_ live here.'_

_'Yes, __I know.'_

'_Is this going to become regular, hmm?'_

'_Only if you want it to.'_

'_Dear me. Do you really want my attention so badly?'_

'_Depends if you're willing to give it.'_

'_Oh, I am, Dralsi. I am.'_

I tore my gaze away from the dancing flames then, and looked up at her. 'So when did you realise you loved him?'

I will never forget her reply, for as long as I live.

'When I realised I was living in a dream.'

Living in a dream. They lived in a dream. My parents. My mother, who I knew for all too short a time. My father, who I hardly knew at all.

I have only one memory of his life, yet somehow the day of his death is burned into my memory. It was a fever that took him. No potion, philtre, or remedy my mother brewed could defeat it. Every day, he seemed weaker. And one night, I woke up to the sound of her crying.

I found him in the room they had shared, weeping over his body. 'He's gone, Karliah,' she sobbed, and I remember a coldness flooding over me, as if my blood had turned to ice. 'Your father's gone.'

My father. I remembered that dream, the one where memory had become reality, or something so close to reality it could be nothing else. I saw him there. I saw both of them.

I understood how my mother had come to me. She was in the Twilight Sepulchre now, fulfilling her Oath. There were countless, numberless, innumerable tales of the spirits of the dead straying into the dreams of the living. But my father? Where was he? How had he visited my dream? Had it been no more than a dream? Or had he somehow found me, found me again after so long?

One thing was for sure. I let my mother's words play over in my head. _'Yes, it is a dream. But why should that mean it is not real?'_

Through my love for Gallus, I was living in a dream. Just as she had said.

But just because it was a dream… why should that prevent it from being real?

* * *

**And there you have it. You asked for fluff. I supplied fluff. In fact, I piled as much fluff as I could into it without being scared that I'd used too much… I hope I got the right amount! X-D**

**Reviews, as always, will be much appreciated. Honestly, they make my day. Thank you so much, to all of you. You make me SO happy when I read them! Everyone who has given up their time to give me their opinion, I am unbelievably grateful.**

**I warn you now, the next chapter may be some time in coming- but please bear with me. It will come. Promise.**


	20. Gift

**Author's note- according to the Elder Scrolls wiki, there are two events called New Life Festival. One takes place on the 1****st**** of Morning Star (January) and the other is on the 25****th**** of Evening Star. I think this might be a mistake, because I can't see why two different festivals would have the same name. Anyway, to clarify, the one in this chapter is the one in Evening Star, and is a ceremony of parties and gift giving- basically the Tamriel equivalent of Christmas. (The other one is usually the day a new tax is introduced, so I thought it would be slightly less popular) Most of the traditions described here are made by me. Artistic licence- I love it! :D**

**Oh, and sorry this took so long. I was away for a few days, plus, SO unbelievably busy. Sorrrrrryyyyy… *shuffles feet awkwardly***

* * *

CHAPTER NINETEEN

The snow fell more heavily than usual that year, heavier even that that fateful winter that had seen my mother's death. The shower of glistening white flakes fell relentlessly, smothering houses, forests and mountains in shimmering whiteness, and chilling the air so deeply that the fringes of the vast, black watered lake began to freeze- to freeze so hard and stiff that the children of the city were able to walk about freely upon its surface. The sky was constantly obscured by snow, and washed the colour of ivory, and the snowdrifts were deep enough for any who attempted to walk through them to sink up to their knees- sometimes even deeper.

Yet, despite the bitter cold, a feeling of high spirits hung over us all. And it was not just the Guild members. Nearly every man, elf and beast I saw walked through the snow-laden streets with a wide smile and a cheery greeting for all who crossed their path. Indeed, on one walk from the Flagon to the marketplace, I was wished a good day by so many different voices that I very quickly lost count. The citizens, who usually would have been shovelling the snow away from their doors with bad-tempered grumbles about how this weather was keeping them away from their work and therefore away from their wages, went about their business with easy-going merriment, humming lilting tunes to themselves as they stomped happily through the freezing carpet of white flakes that lay thick and dazzling upon the frosted ground.

For the end of the year was approaching, the month of Evening Star was close to dying, and the heart of winter had very nearly reached its peak- and that meant that New Life Festival was well and truly on its way. The day that heralded the end of the old year and the coming of the new year would be greeted with joy, laughter, celebration and wild festivity, just as it always was. As ever, parties would be thrown, gifts would be exchanged between friends and family, songs of joy would be sung, and gallons of mead would be drunk- the latter in particular if your name happened to be Delvin Mallory. The Flagon had been decked out in colourful ribbons and glowing lanterns, Gallus had given us all the rest of the month off, and even Mercer and Elandine found themselves inexplicably affected by the infectious good mood, their usual surly scowls replaced by grins as large as those of everyone else. Regardless of age, race or anything else, the season's joyful spell had, as it never failed to do, found its way into the hearts of us all.

What with our family of thieves being so large, it was clearly impossible that we should find presents for everyone- so instead we'd written down our names, put them into a mead flask, and taken turns in drawing them out. Or rather, I thought with a smile as I made my way through the crowded streets, _most _of us had written down our names. I didn't think I'd ever stop laughing when I thought of how Thjon had tentatively approached me and asked if I could help him with writing his name down.

'You don't know how to spell your own name?' I'd asked incredulously, and he'd shuffled his feet in an awkward manner.

'I don't know how to spell _anything.'_

'Try T-H-J-O-N.'

'Sure.' He'd hesitated, his quill hovering over the scrap of paper. 'Um, how do you write a letter _T_ again? Is that the curly one?'

Eventually, everyone's names had ended up in the flask and been pulled out one by one. Of course, I'd been hoping to get Gallus, but I'd ended up with the twins, who had insisted on receiving a joint present. In a way, I thought secretly that was a good thing, as it meant that whatever I bought for Gallus could be received in secret, without the whole Guild watching. And, as it happened, finding something for the twins had been easy. Since they were forever complaining about being desert creatures unsuited to Skyrim's harsh and cold climate, I'd settled with getting each of them a pair of warm leather boots, lined with fur so soft it could barely be felt. But, perhaps unsurprisingly, finding something for Gallus was proving considerably harder.

The months that had passed since he first revealed his true feelings to me felt like a long and beautiful dream. Every time he so much as glanced at me, I felt myself flushing, and felt thankful that the colour of my Dunmer skin helped to hide it. Every smile he gave me made my whole body tremble. And the nights we spent together, whether down by the lake, or in his house in the quiet backstreets, were pure magic. Not, to the dismay of us both, that there had been many. We both knew full well that the Guild would start to suspect something if we repeatedly disappeared together night after night, and we had both made some sort of silent, mutual agreement that we did not yet want them to know. Our relationship, what we felt for each other, the love we shared… it was a tiny, wonderful piece of magic that, for now, at least, we were keeping firmly to ourselves. And I think we both worried, both feared, that were we to tell anyone, they wouldn't understand. Most of them, with the possible exception of Ahsla, who had never seen fit to reveal the identity of Tonilia's father, had never had this kind of relationship. Delvin boasted about his harem of lovers, but that was different. Love wasn't a part of that sort of thing- it was fuelled by lust and desire. But Gallus and I, we were… we were made for each other. He had stolen my heart under the moons that beautiful, silent night, and what I felt for him- what I knew he felt in return for me- was pure and genuine love.

Nothing more. Nothing less. Love.

And that, I thought ruefully, as I pushed past a pair of fishery workers and wandered over to Madesi's jewellery stall, was why I was so determined to find something perfect for him. Something that would show him how much I cared for him. Just how much he meant to me. But it was proving tricky, seeing as most of Riften was trying to do the exact same thing for all of their loved ones.

'Greetings, land-strider.' Madesi beamed at me over the top of his display case. 'You are seeking gifts for New Life Festival, yes?'

I nodded absently, running my eyes over his wares in a critical manner. They were all, without exception, beautifully crafted and expertly made, but somehow nothing was quite right- and for Gallus, whatever I gave him had to be perfect. As perfect as him.

I shook my head and let out a long sigh. It looked like I was going to have to seek elsewhere. In truth, I was worried I wouldn't be able to find anything.

'Having trouble, friend?' Madesi said suddenly, making me glance upwards. I nodded at him.

'If you find nothing here that catches your eye, you might want to continue your search outside of the city.' The Argonian leaned against his counter. 'I believe one of the Khajiit trading caravans has set up their camp there.'

I couldn't help but supress a sigh of relief. The Khajiit traders were bound to have something good. They travelled all over the land, and found treasures from every place imaginable, from the cold mountains of the pale to the rolling plains of Whiterun to the golden woods of the Rift. If they didn't have something I could give to Gallus, then in all likeliness, no one could.

Thanking Madesi, I made my way through the snowbound streets towards the city gates. I had to leap back as I left the marketplace, to avoid a group of children who came dashing through the snow, their peals of laughter loud enough to wake the dead, sending snowballs flying at each other. I smiled to myself. They were so young, so innocent, so ignorant of the harsh brutality of life. It was hard to believe that there had once been a time when I had been the same.

I reached the gates to find one of the guards slumped against the wall, surrounded by empty mead mugs, clearly lost in a drunken sleep. The other was desperately trying to shake him awake, muttering about how they'd both loose a week's wages if he didn't get up. Neither of them seemed to notice me was I walked past- just as well, I realised suddenly, since I'd stolen the second guard's purse a few weeks ago. Bad habit, really. But it had been just so tempting…

I opened the gates and saw instantly that Madesi had been true to his word. The caravan was camped not far away, with a horde of people flocking around it, like a gang of birds trying to get to a piece of grain. Unsurprising, really- it looked like the whole town had had the same idea as me, and the merchants were looking distinctly flustered as they scurried back and forth, trying to see to everyone at once. It looked like I was going to be waiting for quite some time.

As I watched the queue slowly shorten, I noticed one of the traders standing a little way apart from the others, her fur bristling as a huge Nord man loomed over her, fists clenched. I frowned and turned towards the pair of them, trying to catch the words exchanged between them.

'This one has stolen nothing! Neither have her kinsmen! I know nothing of what has become of your precious ring!'

'Don't lie to me, cat! I had it before I came down here, and now it's gone. I know one of you beastmen took it. Where is it?'

'Nothing has been stolen from you, you smooth-skin fool!'

'Open your furry ears, you walking rug. If you don't tell me where my ring is within twenty seconds I'm calling the guards.'

_And a whole load of use they'll be, _I thought sarcastically.

'Khajiit is telling you-'

'And I'm telling you to shut the Oblivion up and get my ring before I put a fist in your nose!'

Unable to bear watching them any longer, I pushed through the crowd and strolled over to them. 'Need any help?' I asked.

'No help that you can give me, greyskin,' the Nord snapped instantly, but the Khajiit breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

'Khajiit would be honoured if you would help her. This thick-brained fool insists I have stolen something, and I have not laid so much as a claw upon something that did not belong to me!'

'As if. Your kind are all the same. Thieves, murderers, smugglers, Skooma dealers-'

I had to grab hold of the Khajiit quickly as she lunged forwards, teeth bared and ears flat back against her head in rage. 'You dare to accuse me without proof, you-'

I pulled her back and stepped between them. 'Why don't you both just try to calm down and talk this through?'

The Nord continued to glare at me, but stepped back and unclenched his fists. 'I came down here with a whole load of stuff to sell. The cats wouldn't give me a decent price for the ring, so I kept it. And just a minute ago, I put my hand in my pocket and it was gone.'

'That doesn't necessarily mean it was stolen.'

'It does if you're around Khajiit.'

The Khajiit woman bared her teeth again, tail lashing. I held up a hand in an attempt to calm her. 'All right. And what do you say happened?'

She folded her arms. 'I was selling my wares as always, and this idiot comes up to me and demands to know where his precious ring is. I say again, I have stolen nothing! And my fellow traders have taken nothing either.'

'Then what do you think happened to the ring? Just vanished into thin air, did it?'

'Your pocket doesn't have a hole in it, does it?' I asked quietly.

'A hole? Of course it…' The man's voice trailed off as he dipped his hand into his pocket to prove his point. 'Um… actually… as a matter of fact, it does…'

It was all I could do to stop myself from laughing as the Khajiit let out a snort of mingled triumph, anger and amusement.

'So it's possible that it just fell out, and wasn't stolen?' I pressed.

'Possible,' the Nord grunted, his face bright red.

'Indeed, likely?' I insisted.

'Maybe.' He scuffed the ground with his boot.

'All right. So shall we look for it, then?'

His only reply was to nod, with a small grunt.

We found it within ten seconds, lying in the snow with the sunlight glinting on it. I picked it up and handed it to the Nord.

'I think,' I told him sternly, 'that an apology is in order from you.'

He muttered something about smart-assed greyskins and mumbled something to the Khajiit that definitely wasn't an apology, but was clearly the best she was getting.

'Don't mention it,' she hissed. 'And next time, think before you accuse me because I happen to have fur and a tail!'

He spat onto the snow and slouched off. I rolled my eyes. 'Talk about ruining the New Life Festival spirit.'

The Khajiit laughed. 'This one cannot thank you enough for your help, friend. Had you not stopped that icebrain, the situation could have become difficult for me to handle.'

'My pleasure.'

She flicked her ears. 'Sometimes I think the only thing in this land colder than its weather is its people.'

'You mustn't think that,' I gasped, horrified. 'Most of the Nords are nothing like that idiot. There'll always be a few like him, no matter where you go. But for every one that's like him, there's a hundred that aren't.'

She smiled, twining her tail around her legs. 'Indeed, friend. As long as there is a pawful of people who think the same way as you, Khajiit will be happy.' Her whiskers twitched. 'You must be repaid for your kindness. Come and see my wares. Whatever you choose is yours for free.'

I shook my head. 'I didn't do it for any reward.'

'This one insists,' she said firmly. 'Are you not here in the search for Festival gifts?'

I relented and nodded. 'What have you got?'

She gestured to her stall. 'Take a look. Mostly trinkets, odds and ends, that sort of thing.'

I glanced down at them. There was a mixed bunch of items- daggers in every style, amulets of every Divine you could think of, and probably some you couldn't, rings, circlets, necklaces…

I paused as I noticed a small amulet lying smothered by another. I gently pulled it away from the others, and a smile flitted over my face. Threaded onto a string were pair of small crystals- one white, one black, carved into the shape of two birds in flight, their wings forming a perfect circle. I lifted it up, holding it against the blue and white horizon, and I could imagine the tiny creatures dancing through the sky.

'Perfect,' I said in satisfaction.

'Then it's yours,' the Khajiit smiled.

'Are you sure?'

'Never surer.'

I slipped the amulet into my pocket with a grin. 'Thank you.'

'Thank you, my friend. May your road lead you to warm sands.'

I laughed. 'In this weather? Not likely.'

She chuckled as she turned away. 'Well then, I shall at least wish you a happy New Life Festival.'

I rubbed my hands together- partly from triumph at my success, partly to warm them. 'Now that,' I told her warmly, 'I will be able to do.'

* * *

'_With the death of the season, a new year is born_

_The snow turns to sunlight, the frost turns to rain_

_The ice dies forever, the rivers break free_

_As the turn of the seasons comes to us again.'_

The rest of the Guild joined in the old song with me, their raucous voices echoing around the walls of the Flagon.

'_We gather together to meet the New Life_

_Under the lamplight, beside the warm hearth_

_For midwinter's here, and the spring shall soon come-_

_Glad blessings upon you, and Divines light your path!'_

Gallus chuckled softly. 'Good song, that,' he murmured in my ear. 'One of my favourites. Although technically-'

'Oh, Gods, no,' I groaned. 'Not the dreaded word 'technically.''

'Technically, it's incorrect. Or at least, it is at the moment,' he continued undaunted, a hint of mischief creeping into his eyes. 'The 25th of Evening Star is far from being midwinter. Nowhere near it, in fact. In truth, midwinter comes at some point during Morning Star. And it's several months yet until spring.'

I thumped my head on the table. 'Gallus, please. Do you have to ruin the fun?'

'Can we do the presents now?' Tonilia was practically bouncing up and down with excitement. 'Please? Please, please, please, please, pleeeeease?'

Several people let out amused titters, and Ahsla nudged her daughter fondly. 'Hush, Tonilia. Everything has to go in the right order; it's tradition. Gallus has to make the speech of New Life first.'

The Redguard girl pouted indignantly, putting her hands on her hips. 'Tradition, huh. As far as I'm concerned, presents are more important than anything else.'

Brynjolf raised his hand into the air, like a nervous schoolchild with a question. 'Am I allowed to second that?'

Dar'zha grinned and signalled something to Ma'rhaz, who burst out laughing instantly. 'This one's brother is in agreement,' he grinned. 'And Ma'rhaz is too!'

Gallus shook his head in pretend despair and got to his feet. 'To be honest, I feel exactly the same way. But we have to honour the ancient traditions. I'll be sure to make it as quick as I can.'

He stepped up onto his chair and lifted his mug into the air. Instantly, a deathly silence fell across the entire company. 'This year is close to death,' he announced, in a clear voice that rebounded off the walls.

'But a new one is soon to be born,' we all chorused, repeating the words that we knew were being spoken in every house, farm, and even palace across all of Skyrim, and most of Tamriel.

'The sun is setting upon the final days of this year,' Gallus continued.'

'But it will rise again, brighter than ever before.'

'The heart of winter is coming upon us.'

'But the spring will be filled with colour and warmth.'

'We gather here today, under the eyes of the Divines who guard us, to honour the year that is past.'

'To remember the times we have shared together.'

'To dream of the year that is soon to come.'

'To learn from the past and to hope for the future.'

Gallus cast a swift glance at me as he spoke again. 'And to ask the Gods to bless us with courage, loyalty... and love.'

I felt my smile widening, and I had eyes for Gallus only as I murmured the reply. 'May it be so.'

'Go forth with honour, and may the-' Gallus hesitated.

'Eight,' Elandine and Vex growled together.

'Nine!' Thjon yelled indignantly.

I quickly brought my hands up to my mouth to hide a snigger.

'And may all the Divines walk with you,' Gallus sighed wearily, but there was no missing the hint of amusement in his voice, and I was almost certain I heard him mutter, 'However many of them there may be.'

'And also with you,' we intoned as one.

'Hail the dying year! Hail the New Life!'

'Hail the New Life!' As one, we lifted our mugs into the air and drank. Most of us only took a sip, but Mercer, Thjon, Brynjolf and the twins both tipped their heads right back, intent on draining their cups in a single go. They finished at the same time and set them back on the table in such perfect unison that we couldn't help clapping.

'There we are, the boring part's over.' Gallus hopped back down onto the floor. 'Next time, please keep your religious differences to yourself.'

Tonilia jumped up. 'So are we doing presents now?'

Gallus beamed at her. 'Yes, why not?'

There was a scraping of chairs as we leaped to our feet and dashed off, searching the place like a group of hunters looking for animal tracks. The Guild had its own tradition of hiding the various gifts around the Flagon, and in truth, I think most of us secretly looked forwards to the hunt more than they did to the actual receiving of the presents. It was the strange thing about New Life festival- it made us all feel like we were children again. Perhaps that was why it was so eagerly awaited. I couldn't help but cast a swift glance at the stack of mead barrels that hid the twin's boots as I joined the others.

Five minutes into the frantic search, Elruen gave a shout from behind the bar. 'Hey, Elandine. I've found yours.'

'You're not supposed to say that!' Tonilia glared at him furiously. 'It ruins it!'

Elandine shrugged. 'I'm not complaining. I'm rubbish at finding things.' She disappeared behind the bar and emerged a moment later with a broad smile on her face and a small bag filled with soul gems clasped in her hands.

As I checked underneath the nearest table, Delvin let out a grunt. 'Mead again,' he complained indignantly. 'Why do I get mead every year?'

'I can't imagine,' I called, as I abandoned my search of the tables and moved on to checking under the chairs. 'And anyway, last year you got that mead for yourself.'

'That was different,' he said defensively. 'Everyone kept swapping names. It wasn't my fault I ended up with myself.'

The twins found theirs next, followed by Tonilia. Mercer and Thjon managed to unearth theirs in quick succession. Not wanting to be the last one, I decided that the chairs were too obvious and started checking the more obscure places. Glancing up, I caught sight of a small bag tied to a candle holder. I stood on a table in order to reach it, and saw instantly that it had my name written on the side in slightly wonky letters.

I tugged it free and pulled it open. To my delight, it was filled with a trio of books on the ancient legends of Tamriel.

'Hey, Brynjolf!' I shouted. 'Thanks!'

He looked up at me, baffled. 'How'd you know it was me, lass?'

'Well,' I told him, jumping back down, 'Partly because I told you only last week I had been trying to find these in every shop in Skyrim, and also because my name was written on them in your handwriting.'

'Damn it,' he muttered unhappily, but a moment later his frown turned into the biggest of grins. 'Hey, who got me these pickpocketing potions?'

_New Life Festival,_ I thought with a smile, as I watched the rest of the Guild scurry back and forth, the room filled with smiles and cheers and laughter. _The day when we're all children again._

I heard a quiet voice by my ear. 'I've got something for you, for later.'

I smiled. 'I've got something for you, too. Meet you down by the lake at twilight?'

'Definitely.' Gallus glanced around to make sure nobody was looking, and planted a quick kiss on my forehead. 'Happy New Life Festival.'

I felt something glowing inside me. 'And you.'

* * *

Twilight couldn't come quickly enough.

I found myself running outside to check the sky every few minutes. The moment it was a slightly darker shade of blue than it had been before, I took off running. I knew that tonight was the one night that nobody would question it if both Gallus and I were absent from the Cistern- mainly because everyone else would be too, or else too drunk to notice that we were gone. My feet seemed to cover the ground as if winged as I raced through the streets, hardly noticing as I sank into the snow with every step. All I was aware of was the man who I knew would be waiting for me at the fringes of the lake. He'd been absent from the Flagon all evening. I couldn't decide whether it was because he was teasing me, drawing out the time before I could be alone with him, or because he had simply been too impatient to wait. And to be honest, I didn't mind much.

The gate was unguarded. It wasn't supposed to be, but I knew that the guards would either be taking a well-earned break and spending some time with their families, or slumped in a corner somewhere with several empty mead flasks heaped around them. My fingers slipped on the frosted metal of the handle as I flung the gate open and dashed through the snow.

There he was, as I knew he would be, with his back to me and his eyes on the stars, standing ankle-deep in the snow, with flakes of frost whirling through the air around him.

'Are you early?' I called. 'Or am I late?'

He turned, and I felt my heart twist inside me as I realised just how much I'd missed that smile in the few hours that had passed since I'd last seen it. 'Both,' he replied.

I forced myself to walk down to his side, though I wanted nothing more than to run to him at full speed. 'Forgive me,' I said teasingly. 'I do hate to disappoint my Guildmaster.'

We stood there for a moment, simply smiling at each other. Then he opened his arms wide, and I was only too happy to fall into them.

He held me in his embrace for a few moments, then stepped backwards, a sudden expression of concern on his face. 'Are you all right with all of this, Karliah?'

Baffled, I frowned. 'What do you mean? All what?'

He shuffled his feet in the snow. 'With… you know. All this snatching moments alone. Are you sure you don't want to tell the others?'

I rasied my eyebrows. 'Do you?'

He shook his head.

'Nor do I,' I murmured, taking his hand and clutching it tightly. 'I know they'll find out sooner or later, whether we tell them or not. But for now… I'm happy with the way things are.' I grinned. 'More than happy.'

'So am I.' His eye burned into mine for a few seconds longer. 'So, which of us is going first?'

I dipped my hand into my pocket and closed it around the amulet hidden inside. He held out his hand, and I tipped it into his palm.

He opened his hand, and his smile grew wider still. I watched delight spread over his face as he held it up, until the circle of the birds' wings seemed to be a reflection of the circle of the smaller of the two moons.

'Beautiful,' he murmured, running his hand over it.

I could see from the look in those wonderful brown eyes that he understood the true meaning of the gift. It was far more than just an amulet. It was us. The white bird was me- a woman from the cold, frozen northlands. The black bird was him- a man of the shadows. In those two carved crystals, cold, smooth and almost velvety to the touch, I had seen far more than mere beauty. I had seen the freedom in their wings. I had seen love and protection in the way they circled each other. And in that circle, I had seen eternity.

He reached up and slipped it around his neck, cradling it in one hand as if it were the most precious thing he had ever known. 'Thank you,' he murmured.

'My pleasure,' I told him, and I think it would have been impossible for me to have meant it more.

We stood there for a few seconds, then he reached down into his pocket and pulled out something long and thin, wrapped in soft fabric. 'Mine's nowhere near as good as yours,' he said quietly, pressing it into my hand. 'But all the same, I hope you'll like it. I just hope you won't have to use it too often.'

Intrigued, I slowly turned the strange object over in my hand, feeling cold metal through the material. With a delicate twist, I pulled the cloth away, and a stunning ebony dagger, black as the quickly darkening sky above us, fell into my palm.

'Gallus!' I breathed in sheer amazement, lifting it up until the light of the moons and the first few stars glinted on the blade. I stared at him open-mouthed, at a loss for words.

'I had it made to match mine,' he said, ever so slightly self-consciously. He touched his own dagger, an identical twin of the one I held in my hand. 'So… so that we'll always be connected. And since you lost your one in Irkngthand, I thought…' His voice trailed off, and he looked down at the snow uncertainly.

'Gallus,' I told him, finding my tongue, 'it's wonderful.'

He looked up, and oh, Divines above, that smile was so impossibly beautiful.

There was silence then, and it stretched on for so long that I felt it needed to be broken urgently. 'I've got something else for you as well,' I told him.

He frowned. 'You do?'

'Yes.' I grinned, reached down, grabbed a handful of snow and hurled it into his face. 'That!'

He reeled back, shaking his head, sending a shower of white flakes flying from his hair. His eyes narrowed, and a cunning expression crept into them. I decided it would be best to beat a hasty retreat.

Turning, I started running for the partial shelter of the nearest trees- not before, however, a snowball of his own thumped against the back of my head. Within seconds, the air was filled with flying snow. He was far from being a good shot, whereas almost every throw I made scored a direct hit, but he made up for it by firing so rapidly that I quickly found it near impossible to dodge. Grabbing as much snow as I could, I smashed it into shape and ducked out from behind the trees, instantly exposing myself to three consecutive shorts- one of which hit me in the chest, while the other two thumped onto the bark of the tree. I took aim as quickly yet as carefully as I could and hurled my missile. A moment later I was rewarded with a surprised yelp.

We fought on and on, laughing, shouting, making dire threats and hardly noticing the cold, until finally we both collapsed into the snow down by the edge of the frozen water, breathing hard and laughing fit to burst.

We lay there, joy burning through us, watching the last few stars twinkle into sight. 'I make it thirty three times I hit you,' Gallus grinned presently.

'You wish. It wasn't half that. And I make it forty-two times I got you, including ten headshots.'

'One of those didn't count. You only got my ear.'

'That's part of your head.'

'Yes, but,' he said, just to tease me, and suddenly I was overcome by a feeling of love so deep it made me quiver involuntarily. It suddenly struck me how much I needed this man, how much I belonged with him. Now that I had his love, and he had mine, I could not live without him. It would be impossible. I belonged by his side, for the rest of all eternity.

'Gallus,' I murmured.

'Mmm?'

I closed my eyes. 'Don't ever leave me.'

He turned his head to face me, and I will never forget the words he spoke then.

'I'll always be with you.'

'Always?' I whispered, opening my eyes and meeting his.

He reached out and took hold of my hand. 'Always.'

He drew in a deep breath. 'I don't care what anybody thinks or says or does. Nothing is going to stop us from being together.'

The feeling of warmth within me intensified tenfold.

'Gallus,' I breathed, 'you have no idea how much I love you.'

He chuckled softly, and I closed my eyes once more and drank in the sound. 'Perhaps about as much as I love you, my little Nightingale.'

* * *

Of all the days in my life, that day is one of the few that is burned into my memory so firmly and strongly that there is hardly a single detail that has escaped me over the unchangeable course of the years. I sometimes wonder why that is. Perhaps it is because it shows so clearly the difference between Gallus and his successor. In the dark days of the Guild, they say, not a song was sung, not a festival celebrated, not a single day was set aside for merriment and laughter and joy.

But I know the true reason why I will never forget that day.

Because that was one of the last times we would share together.

Because soon after, a twist of fate would destroy everything I had ever loved.

Because greed and ambition was about to pick up a sword.

I have said it before. I will say it again. When greed and ambition takes its blade it hand, everything- e_verything_- ends.

I remember that day because it was one of the last days of pure happiness.

That was the day that darkness began to rise.

That was the day that evil came to be.

That was the day when the end began.

* * *

**I wasn't going to write this chapter, but suddenly it just strolled into my brain and demanded to be written, so I thought I might as well. I wanted to include a little more Gallus/Karliah fluff because it's just so much fun to write. Plus, once I'd got the idea of the Thieves Guild playing secret Santa, and Karliah and Gallus having a snowball fight… I just couldn't make it go away. So yeah, I was basically just having fun here. Things will get a little more serious next chapter.**

**You would do me an immense kindness if you reviewed, because I've had a really tough week, I'm so tired right now it's unbelievable, and I'm killing myself for not getting this up sooner. So reviewing would really cheer me up! :) **


	21. Betrayal

**This was originally going to be separated into two different chapters, but for some reason when I tried writing them, they just wouldn't come out, so I made them into one longer chapter. Apologies for the sudden turn of events. If anyone thinks it's a little too abrupt, I might come back later and have another go and making this into two chapters. Anyway, thanks to everyone who's read this far, and here's chapter twenty. I'm not going to put an author's note at the end of this one, because I don't want to spoil the mood at the end, so I'm going to explain the loose ends (because there are a few) at the start of the next one. If you think you can't wait until then, PM me, and I'll see what I can do to explain everything.**

**So, here we go...**

* * *

CHAPTER TWENTY

I wish with all my heart and mind and soul that this could be avoided.

I wish it had never happened. Oh, by each and every one of the Divines, however many of them there may be, how many times I have wished it had never happened. That it was all some terrible nightmare, some cruel and evil dark dream.

I wish that I did not have to write it. To put it down in words will be to set it down on this page forever. The ink will soak into the paper forever and it will be irreversible. Irreversible and official. There will be no taking those words back.

But it did happen. And there is no going back in time to try and rectify it. To try and put it right. To stop it from having happened.

To try and save him.

No matter how hard I wish, it cannot be changed or altered now. Whether we were always heading for the darkness of that ancient ruin, or whether our own decisions led us there, the paths of my lover and I led into that sanctum. And only one path led out again. Surely I should have known? In tales, as an evil time approaches, there is always some warning. A premonition dream. A feeling of danger. Some knowledge, deep within, that dark times are on the way.

Yet I had no warning. None at all.

No. That is a lie. There was warning. And yet I was too blind to see it! Too deaf to listen! Too foolish to realise! Too sure of my place in the paradise he had created for me to ever believe that it could be destroyed! How could I have not realised, not seen…?

Ah, I forget myself. So many times I have told myself there was nothing I could have done. And my friends have told me the same. And if what Nocturnal hinted at the day it all ended was true… then there was truly no way it could have been avoided.

And yet… all my life, I had been told the same thing by the two people I cared about most.

_Our destinies are what we make them. Nobody and nothing but us decides our fate._

_We shape our own futures. It is our dreams that make us who we are._

I do not know the truth. Maybe one day, after my death, I will know if I could, somehow, have prevented it.

All that matters is that I did not prevent it. And it happened. Whether through our following the paths that destiny had laid out for us, through my own fault, through Gallus's unwillingness to accept the truth, through the greed of that murderer- it happened.

It happened and… and I couldn't stop it.

I have hated myself over the years. Why am I alive? That is the question I have asked so, so many times. Of my friends, of the Gods, of myself. Why should I have survived when he is dead?

And for twenty five years, upon the asking of that question, I laughed mirthlessly to myself and said, no. I am not alive. I died when he did. What life is this, a life without him? It is not a life; it is merely an existence. Something to be endured, and not enjoyed.

And then, as the twenty-fifth year came to a close, she came. She came, and hope returned, on the wings of a Nightingale…

But I stray from my point. The truth is simple- I do not want to write about that day. I have sat here for some time, staring at this empty page, knowing that the time has come to place words upon it that I would far rather leave unwritten for all eternity.

But even if the evil of what happened that day is unremembered after my death, it cannot be made untrue.

And that day cannot be forgotten. To forget what he sacrificed for me would be a dishonour and an insult to his memory.

I have no choice. So far, the words that I have spilled out of my soul and into this book have been painful. Yet the pain that they contained is now stored within these pages, and no longer within my heart. My fellow Nightingale was right. Thus far, at least, telling my story has helped me, has eased some of the burden I have carried for so, so many agonised years.

But can I truly live through that night again? The night when my life ended? The night I lost everything I loved?

I have spent a quarter of a century trying to keep it from my mind. I am not certain I can bear the agony of remembering it all again.

But I have got this far. I must continue. For this is the story of my life, and that was the night that changed everything in it.

So I shall tell you the tale I do not want to tell. The tale of the night that stole everything from me.

This is the story of how my world ended.

This is the story of how I lost all my hope.

This is the story of how I died.

* * *

I knew something was wrong from the moment I set eyes on him.

It was just another day, just another afternoon, just another mission. Just one more routine break-in. The air was full of birdsong, the snows had melted, and the whole country was flushed with green. Springtime was upon us. A time of life and rebirth. A few days later, had my heart not been broken beyond repair, I might have laughed at the bitter irony. But as it was, I was clueless, utterly ignorant of what a betrayal beyond all betrayals was about to bring my way. The only thoughts in my head as I entered the Flagon then were ones of happiness. Happiness that I had succeeded in my mission, happiness that spring had come at last, and, above all, the happiness that had been burning in me since the night by the lake. The happiness that whispered within me, every second of every minute of every hour of every day, _you have found the man you love!_

Gods above. So much happiness. How could a single second turn it into grief beyond anything I had ever felt before?

I dropped down from the ladder, and I saw him straight away. He was sitting at his desk at the side of the Cistern. It was deserted, apart from him- everyone was either out on missions, treating themselves to a drink in the Flagon, or out enjoying the sunlight. The silence was almost painful.

And something was wrong.

Not drastically wrong. Not the sort of wrong it had been when I'd walked into the Flagon a year ago, to find him missing. But still wrong. It was written all over him- the furrowed brow, the anxious expression in his eyes, the way he was holding his head in his hands, and most disturbingly of all, the fact that he wasn't smiling.

'Gallus?' I asked. 'What's up?'

He started, like a deer grazing in a forest that has just heard the snap of a twig under a predator's foot. 'What's up? No, nothing. Just a headache.'

I stared at him. If I hadn't been certain before, I was sure now. He was lying. I could see it in his eyes. Something was definitely wrong.

I sat down beside him. 'Something's up, isn't it? I can tell. I know you too well.'

He shook his head. 'It's nothing.'

I blinked in confusion. What… what was going on? Why was he lying to me? Gallus hardly ever lied to anyone, and to me least of all. What reason could he possibly have to keep the truth from me? Didn't he know that if there was something troubling him, I would be the first person to try and help? Hadn't he realised by now that if he needed advice, I would give any I could without a second's thought? Surely he knew that I hated to see him in distress, that I would do anything that lay within my power to do what I could for him?

'It's not nothing,' I said quietly. 'Or you wouldn't be like this. What is it?'

He refused to meet my eyes. 'I'm sorry, Karliah. I can't tell you.'

His words chilled me, right down to the bone, as if my blood had been turned to ice. He could tell me anything. He could trust me with any secret. Why would he…

'Have I done something wrong?' The words slipped from my mouth before I could stop and think about them. They sounded small and weak, and I bit my lip.

His eyes widened in instant horror, as if the words had stabbed him in the heart. 'No!' he shouted forcefully, and the word shattered the quietness like a blow from a sword shatters a sheet of ice. I could not help but flinch, taken aback by his vehemence.

'No,' he repeated more softly, and there was fear in his eyes. 'No, my little Nightingale. You have done nothing wrong. You _can _do nothing wrong.' He shook his head, and somehow the distress in his expression calmed the conflicting emotions- mingled concern, anger, hurt and anxiety- that had been stirring within me. 'I'm sorry. Please, you mustn't think…' His voice trailed off, as if he were searching for words, and suddenly I felt a twinge of guilt. Whatever was troubling him, he had every right to keep it to himself, if he chose to. It was selfish of me to expect him to share every secret he had with me.

'Gallus,' I said quietly, putting my arm around his shoulders. I felt a little of the tension drain from his body. 'Gallus, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to.'

'That's just it,' he said, and I was shocked to hear a hint of tears in his voice. 'I do want to tell you. I just can't.'

'That's fine,' I told him gently. 'When you're ready to tell, I'm ready to listen.'

He swallowed. 'It's nothing to do with you, I promise. And I will tell you. It's just… I'm not sure about it. Not yet. And I can't tell you until I'm sure.'

I nodded. 'Then don't tell me. But Gallus- you know you can trust me with anything, don't you?'

To my intense relief, he broke into a smile. 'I know.' He drew in a long, deep breath. 'I hope I'm wrong. I don't think I am, but I hope I am. If the Lady's kind, in a few days, all will be put to rights, and all this will have been unnecessary.' He shuddered. 'If not… I don't want to think that…'

'That what?' I frowned.

'That such a thing could be possible,' he said, and I had to strain my ears to make out the words.

There was a world of fear and anguish and sorrow in those words, and I shivered, despite myself.

He shook his head. 'Ignore me,' he shrugged. 'It's nothing, I hope… you couldn't go and see Elandine, could you? She was looking for you earlier. I think she wants you for some job on Goldenglow Estate.'

I could tell that the change of subject was an unspoken plea for me to leave him in peace. Any other day, perhaps, I would have been offended, but I could tell that something had him deeply distraught, and I quickly decided that the least I could do for him was to get out of his way for a while.

'Sure,' I told him, getting up. 'Call me if you need me.'

My words, too, carried an unsaid meaning. _If you need me, I'm here._

He nodded. 'I will.' He gave me a final smile and turned back to his desk, picking up his journal and flicking through the pages of neat, careful writing. I turned and started towards the Flagon, but not before I caught his final, whispered words- words I doubt he knew that I heard.

'Lady, protect her. If I'm right, if it's true… please, I beg you, keep her safe.'

* * *

The moment I closed the door of the Cistern, I leaned against it, letting out a long breath I never knew I'd been holding in.

_Protect her_, he'd said. _Keep her safe. _What reason could there be for him to say such a thing? Were we in danger? Was something threatening us, something to terrible for him to speak of? And if so- why in Nocturnal's name couldn't he tell me? He'd said it was because he was scared that he was wrong… but Gallus was seldom wrong about anything.

One thing was for sure. If something had Gallus so worried, there was almost certainly some danger brewing on the horizon. And he needed help. Gods, _I _needed help. I needed help to help him.

I made my way down the corridor and into the Flagon. Elandine wasn't there, and I made the decision not to try and find her. The matter of Gallus was the most pressing right now- far more important than some Goldenglow Estate job. I looked around at the others- drinking, reading, counting their takings. Could I confide in one of them? Maybe- after all, Gallus hadn't actually asked me not to tell anyone- but whom? Was there anyone who knew Gallus well enough to perhaps know what had him so distressed? My initial thought was Ahsla, since she'd been with the Guild for so many years, but then I remembered she was still in Markath, on some business concerning the Silver-Bloods. And Delvin was with her. The twins were here, but somehow I didn't think they'd be much help. Brynjolf was chatting to Thjon over by the bar, but I'd been in the Guild for longer than Bryn, and I knew that Thjon didn't know Gallus as well as I did. I let out a groan, trying to resist the temptation to bash my head against the wall.

'You all right there?'

I turned, and found myself meeting Mercer's curious grey gaze. It was as if a lantern had been lit inside my head. Mercer! Why in the name of all the Divines hadn't I thought of sharing my troubles with Mercer? He'd been Gallus's best friend for as long as anyone could remember, and what was more, he was a Nightingale. If anyone knew what was behind Gallus's worries, it would be him.

'_I'm _fine,' I told him. 'But I don't think Gallus is.'

He frowned. 'What's up with him?'

I shrugged. 'I don't know. That's the problem.'

'You think something's wrong?'

'I know something is.'

'You spoken to him?'

'Yes. He said he wanted to tell me about it but he couldn't.'

Mercer frowned, and his gaze travelled to the nearest empty table. I took the hint and went and sat down. He slumped into the chair opposite me, eyebrows raised a fraction, as if waiting for me to explain.

I took a deep breath and plunged into my story, the way that an Argonian plunges into a pool of water- though in my case, I took the plunge a great deal more reluctantly. 'I found him in the Cistern, and I could tell just by looking at him something was wrong. I asked him, and first he said nothing was wrong. Then he said something was wrong but he couldn't tell me what. Then he said he wanted to tell me but he was scared that he was wrong.'

Mercer was looking worried. 'Wrong about what?'

I shrugged. 'Search me. He just said that he didn't want to think that such a thing could be possible.' I looked at him pleadingly. 'Do you know what he's talking about?'

To my disappointment and frustration, the Breton shook his head. 'Sounds like we're in some sort of danger.'

'That's what I thought. But I don't see why he'd want to keep it to himself if we were.'

My fellow Nightingale shook his head. 'No. Neither can I. Perhaps he doesn't want to make a fuss about nothing if he's wrong.'

'But what if he's not wrong? What if we really are in trouble?'

Mercer nodded slowly. 'I think the only thing we can do is to wait and see what happens. But we'll have to keep an eye on him, just in case anything really is wrong.' He got to his feet. 'Don't you worry. This'll get sorted out.'

I smiled gratefully at him as he walked away. But I couldn't help but feel that I'd overlooked something. Something important. Something dangerous.

I had overlooked something. And in a few days' time, I would be wishing with all my heart that I hadn't. Because I would pay the highest possible price for my negligence.

* * *

I found him at the stables.

The sun had set twice since that encounter in the Cistern and the talk with Mercer, yet neither of us had been able to work out what might be troubling our Guildmaster. Mercer was getting increasingly edgy, and I felt more nervous with every minute that passed. Gallus was smiling less and less. Sometimes I would have to say his name several times before he looked at me. It was as if something evil was eating away at him from the inside. It seemed to me that I was losing him with every second that went by. I was watching the man I loved more than anything else in the entire world fade away before me and there was nothing I could do. I had tried to talk to him about it, but he had always changed the subject before he ever gave me an answer.

As I watched him sneak out of the Flagon, casting a quick glance over his shoulder as if to make sure nobody was looking, I averted my eyes, hoping that he hadn't realised I had seen him. I waited for a few minutes- or perhaps it was only a few seconds. I couldn't have discerned any difference, in my anxiety. Then I got to my feet and followed him.

I didn't look back as I left the Cistern. If I had known that I would set foot there again for a quarter of a century, I would have stopped. I would have taken a moment to say farewell, to remember all that had happened there, to honour my home.

But I did not know.

And so I left. And I didn't look back.

He was at the stables. Something within me told me that he would be there, and he was, adjusting the straps of Ebony's saddle, his body rigid with tension. Anxiety flooded from him in thick, hot waves, and I knew instantly that whatever was troubling him had just come to a head.

'And where do you think you're going?' I asked accusingly, leaning against the stable wall.

He jumped so hard that Ebony skittered away from him with a slight whinny of annoyance. He grabbed hold of her reins and span around, guilt written all over his face.

'Karliah-' he began, but I didn't give him a chance to finish.

'Is it just me, or does everybody I know seem intent on sneaking off without telling me? First my mother, now you too.' I suddenly found myself unable to contain my anger. 'Come on. Where were you going this time? You can hardly use Nightingale Hall as an excuse.'

His eyes burned with anguish. 'I-'

'You what? I thought I said that you could talk to me about this. And even if you don't want to talk about it, whatever it is, you might at least say something before you go dashing off into the wilderness on some secret mission without so much as a single word _again?'_

'Please!' He took a step forward, his voice cracking with fear. 'I'm sorry- truly, I am! I was going to leave without telling you- but only because I was worried that you would follow me if you knew that I'd gone and- and I just couldn't bear the thought of losing you!'

The words were blurted out with such uncharacteristic desperation that my anger faded instantly, to be replaced by concern. 'Losing me?' I asked, frowning. 'What… what are you talking about?'

'I can't lose you,' he whispered, and there were tears threatening his eyes. 'I can't. I love you more than anything. I just can't lose you.'

I had seen him upset before, yet never had I witnessed him so terrified, so frantic, so close to despair. Any anger left in me was no longer directed at him, but at myself. How could I have been so pitiless, so heartless and unforgiving? Without hesitation, I pulled him into my arms and held him close, and he relaxed into my embrace, his whole body trembling.

'I'm sorry,' he whispered, again and again. 'I'm sorry.'

'So am I,' I told him gently.

He pulled away from me, shaking his head. 'No, you've nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one to blame. I should have told you- but I knew that you'd try to follow, and I can't take you with me into danger.'

'What danger, Gallus?' I could feel a little voice inside me shouting at me to stop, to leave it there, to take his word for it and walk away. But I stayed.

'I don't know.' He swallowed. 'Or rather, I do know, but I hope I'm wrong.'

My confusion must have shown on my face because he shook his head. 'You've got a right to know,' he sighed. 'But please, Karliah, if I tell you where I'm going- you have to promise me that you won't follow.'

'I'm not promising any such thing,' I told him firmly. 'If you're in danger-'

'Snow Veil Sanctum,' he said suddenly.

I blinked, staring at him in confusion. 'What?'

'Snow Veil Sanctum,' he repeated, his gaze fixed on the ground. I could see him trying to compose himself, to rein in his emotions. 'I'm going to Snow Veil Sanctum.'

'I've heard of it,' I said. 'You mean the ancient Nordic burial site?'

He nodded. 'Mercer's waiting for me there. He says he's found something- something that might mean that the very survival of the Guild is in jeopardy. He sent me a message, saying he needs my help.'

I should have listened to that little voice. The one that was now whispering, _why should that mean he's this worried? Of course that's bad. But not so bad that he'd run off without telling you._

But I ignored it.

'Then I'm coming,' I told him. 'We're all Nightingales. In case you and Mercer have forgotten, I made an Oath to protect you. _With my life. _And Gods above, Gallus, I swear to Oblivion I will.'

'_No.' _I could see the Guildmaster part of him taking control. His voice was firm now, allowing no refusal, hiding his emotions behind a stern mask. 'Karliah, you cannot come with me. And you must not follow me. I don't know for sure what I'm going to be facing at Snow Veil. But you mean more to me than anything in the world- and I would rather die than see you come to harm.'

Oh, Divines, Gallus. Why did you say that? Why did you have to say that? Didn't you know what was coming?

'But surely if there's danger, three people is better than two-'

'Usually, yes. But not this time. Please, Karliah. You have to stay. For my sake, if not for your own. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if anything happened to you. Surely you understand that?'

I stared at him for a moment longer. A plan formed in my mind. And I made my decision.

Had I known that my decision would destroy my world, I would have made it differently.

But I did not know.

'Of course I understand that,' I told him gently. 'Go on, Gallus. Do what you have to do.'

His whole body sagged with relief. 'I'm sorry,' he said quietly. 'But I have to do my duty.'

'You've always done your duty,' I replied. 'And you've always done it brilliantly.'

He kissed me then, long and hard, as they say. And I kissed him back with as much tenderness and loyalty and devotion and love as I could possibly hold within me.

Had I known that would be the last time, I would have held it for longer, rejoiced in it more.

But I did not know.

His eyes met mine as we broke apart, and I stared deep into them, as if I were trying to look right into his soul and see the answers to all of our troubles within it. For a moment we simply stared into each other's eyes, and the rest of the world ceased to exist.

Had I known that we would not share such a moment again for a quarter century, I would have treasured it far more.

But I did not know.

'I have to go,' he whispered finally, raw grief in his voice.

'It's all right,' I told him. 'I understand. Go.'

'I'll be back.' His eyes narrowed, the way they always did when he made a solemn vow. 'I will be back for you, my little Nightingale. I promise.'

Gallus never broke a promise in his life.

Except for one.

That was it.

He leaped up into Ebony's saddle, gathering her reins and turning her towards the road. He reached down and grasped my hand. 'Take care of yourself,' he murmured.

'_You _take care of _yourself_.' I squeezed his hand. 'Because I don't want to lose you any more than you want to lose me.'

'Fair fortune, Karliah,' he said softly, releasing my hand and straightening up in the saddle. 'Eyes open. Walk with the shadows.'

'Nocturnal guide you, Gallus,' I replied.

He smiled at me, and as he stood there with the afternoon sunlight streaming down upon him I thought he had rarely looked more dazzling in all the time I'd known him.

Had I known that would be the last smile he would give me for twenty five years, I would have smiled back far harder than I did.

But I did not know.

He tugged at his reins in the sunlight, and galloped away down the road, a dark speck on the bright horizon, until he vanished into the golden trees.

I watched him go. I waited for what seemed like a minute, yet was probably only a few seconds. Then I turned and ran up to the stables and practically dragged Dusk from his stall.

'I said I understood, Gallus,' I muttered. 'But I never said I gave in.'

* * *

'_Dir volaan!'_

I leaped to the side with a panicked, involuntary yelp as the Draugr's axe blade cleaved the air in the exact place where I had been standing only an instant before. Its eyes, hollows of bitterness and madness, met mine for a split second before it lunged again, even more viciously than before. Narrowly escaping the jagged edge of the weapon, I wrenched an arrow onto my bowstring and sent it hurtling into the creature's heart- if it had one. It let out an agonised screech, followed by a hideous rasping sound, before collapsing to the cold floor in a heap of withered bones and dust.

I let out the breath I had been holding, retrieved my arrow, and pressed on. My breath formed clouds of silvery mist in the cold air as I descended a flight of steps, trying to creep past the figures lying on the indents in the walls all around me without making any noise. I did not want to disturb them. If they were dead, to disturb their slumber would be a dishonour to their memories. If they were undead, to alert them to my presence would be death.

I had been in the sanctum about an hour now, and though I had found both Ebony and Flint tethered to trees outside the tomb, I had found no trace of either of my fellow Nightingales so far- except for the countless corpses that lay scattered around the ruin, their cursed half- lives cut short by the gaping sword wounds they bore. Though some instinct deep within me told me that I was getting close, my worry for Gallus and Mercer- Gallus especially- was increasing with every corner I turned and every step I took. Every time I heard a noise, I jumped at least a foot into the air and turned towards it, hoping that it would be one of them- but it never was. Every time I rounded a turn, I prayed to the Divines that I would see them standing there- but I never did. I did not want to admit it, not even to myself, but I was terrified. The fear ran all the way through me- in my blood, in my gut, and in my bones.

_I'll find them, _I told myself. _I think I'll find them. I hope I'll find them_

_But what if I don't?_

Shivering, I rounded a corner, and stopped dead.

I was standing in a chamber decorated with carvings- so many that even my sharp eyes had to strain to make them out. I could see all sorts of creatures imaginable- men, elves, beastfolk and Draugr, feasting, fighting and dancing, as well as doing a whole manner of other things I couldn't discern. And dragons- everywhere dragons. Breathing fire, flying, battling the mortals that faced them. There was one carving repeated many times- a lone figure standing before the dead body of a dragon, with swirling lines flowing between them.

But I had no time to examine the decoration.

There was a doorway ahead of me. I could tell that once it had been filled with a door- one the enormous puzzle doors that were frequent finds in Nordic tombs such as this one, perhaps- but it was empty now. A yawning blackness lay ahead of me, lit by only the faintest few shafts of light.

And they were there.

I heard them before I saw them. At first, their voices were too quiet to make out. But as I warily approached the open doorway, the nonsensical sounds morphed into words.

Words that made me freeze where I stood. Words that made my eyes widen. Words that made my mouth drop open in horror.

'I think you know why I brought you here.'

'Yes, I know why. I hoped I was wrong.'

'Then if you knew, it was rather unwise to come.'

'Like I said, Mercer. I had hope.'

'Hope? Hope for what?'

'Hope for you, old friend.' Gallus's voice was filled with sorrow, and I felt myself shaking. And not just from the cold. 'Hope that I might have been wrong. And even though it seems I am not wrong, I hoped that I might at least be able to make you see that what you've done, what you're doing, what you're going to do- you can't do it, Mercer.'

'Gallus, you don't understand.' There was suddenly a plea in that brash, sarcastic voice I knew so well, and suddenly the man it belonged to became a stranger to me. Mercer? Pleading? What in the name of the Divines was going on?

'I do understand, Mercer. I know why you've done what you've done. And I know why you're going to try to do what you want to do. But you can't. You simply can't.'

'Why?' The single word hung in the air.

'For the sake of us all. For me, for you, for Nocturnal, for the Nightingales, for the Guild.'

Suddenly, Mercer was angry, and I stepped backwards despite myself. 'Nocturnal? Don't you see? She doesn't care about us, Gallus. She doesn't care about the Guild. She only cares about her own power.'

'You're wrong, Mercer. Nocturnal guides me. Nocturnal guides us all.'

'She guides you, huh? But not me?'

'You've made your choice, Mercer. But it's not too late to change. Those that say that the Dark Lady knows no mercy are wrong.'

'You're not going to change my mind.'

'No, I can't. But _you_ can change your mind, Mercer. Think about this. Is this really about the power? About the money? About the Guild?'

'What do you mean?' The Breton's voice was a low growl, and I could tell that the question was one he already knew the answer to.

'Karliah. I know how you feel about her, and I'm sorry.'

I had been about to take a step forwards. But now I froze rigid.

'How I _used _to feel about her, you mean.'

'It's not her fault.'

'Oh, I know. It's not her fault she was stolen from me by my supposed best friend.'

'Mercer-'

'Enough.' It was an order. Sharp. Commanding. Angry. And Gallus fell silent.

I stayed where I stood in the darkness, my heart racing within me.

'You know why we're here.' Mercer's voice was suddenly so filled with hatred it almost burned my ears to listen to it.

'Please, Mercer. Please. This isn't you. You're a good man. A brave man. My friend.'

'Not anymore.'

'If I can't persuade you to stop this for your own sake, or for my sake, or for her sake, then do it for the Guild. You've always been loyal to the Guild.'

'Not anymore.'

'Mercer, Nocturnal won't forgive you for this. She has mercy- but she abhors betrayal above all else. If you go through with this, you will never be forgiven. She will kill you. Have you no respect left for her?'

'Not anymore.'

'Mercer-'

'I said _enough.'_

Deep within me, something kicked into action. I did not understand. Not one single word. But I suddenly knew with an awful, sickening certainty that Gallus was in danger-

And so I ran. I ran forward, into the chamber, into the shadows. Their heads turned towards me and I saw them, standing facing each other, both their swords drawn, both their faces pale as ice.

I stared at the two men who stood in the room before me. Gallus stared at me. Mercer stared at Gallus.

Gallus opened his mouth, and I saw words beginning to form on his lips. But whatever they were, they were never said.

Because suddenly Mercer's eyes narrowed, a smile that can be described as nothing else but evil spread over his face, and he took a single step forward and moved like lightning.

And he lunged faster than the eye could follow-

And the golden metal of his blade caught the weak, watery light for the briefest of moments-

And his hand grasped hold of Gallus's shoulder in a grip of iron-

And Gallus began to turn, his eyes widening in horror and shock-

And I cried out and reached for an arrow, ready to fire-

But too late.

Time slowed to a crawl.

A wordless cry of pure agony ripped through the darkness.

And as it faded, the silence was so deep and profound that it was as if all three of us had been turned to ice where we stood.

Very slowly, that same cruel smile on his face and in his eyes, Mercer withdrew his sword.

Withdrew it from Gallus's chest.

He stood there for a moment, his beautiful brown eyes wide as day. His face was even paler than before, white in the blackness. His sword slipped from his hand, and its bright blade shone as if it were made of moonlight as it clattered to the ground with a noise that sounded like the end of the world. Infinitely slowly, he brought his hand up to the rip in his armour-

And he brought it away coated with blood.

Blood. Bright, wet, and crimson as the poisonous berry of a yew tree. His blood.

He blinked, as if incapable of taking it in. I stood in stunned silence, unable to speak, unable to move. I felt as if I was seeing everything from a million miles away.

Gallus swayed slightly, as a young tree sways when caught in a strong wind. Then, without warning, he pitched forward and fell to his knees. A slight gasp escaped his mouth. And then he sank, slowly, so slowly, as if the Divines were trying to torture me for as long as was possible, down onto the floor.

Mercer stepped backwards, blood dripping from the end of his blade.

I stared and stared.

It was a dream. It had to be a dream. A dark, cruel, evil dream, one that Vaermina had whispered into my ears as I slept. This could not be real. This could not be happening. This could not be true. That wasn't Mercer, his sword painted bright scarlet. That wasn't Gallus, unmoving on the cold hard stone floor, lying in a steadily growing pool of dark blood…

But it was.

It was real.

_It was real._

Gods above, it was real-

No, it couldn't be real-

Not him-

No-

It couldn't be him-

Not Gallus, oh Gods, no-

Not Gallus _please _not Gallus-

Not Gallus not Gallus not Gallus not Gallus-

Anyone but-

'GALLUS!' The scream burst from me as if a hand had reached inside me and torn it from my throat. It smashed through the silence and stillness, and Mercer looked up at me with death in his eyes. 'GALLUS!'

To my amazement, he stirred. Hope shot through me. He was alive, still alive! Could he possibly- maybe- was there any chance at all that-

He lifted his head. His eyes met mine. And suddenly it was as if I was looking right into his soul, right back through the years we had known each other. Once more, he melted out of the shadows of the alleyway. For a second time, he guided me patiently, wisely, gently, through my training. He comforted me as I wept over my mother's body. He led me through my Nightingale ceremony. He squeezed my hand as we counted the heap of golden coins. He cried my name as I fell to the ground in Irkgnthand. He carried me to Winterhold, pleading with me to live. He watched with wide eyes as I sang to him down on the shore. He pressed my gift into my hand on the evening of New Life Festival. He stood outside the stables, begging me not to follow him, because he couldn't bear to lose me-

But he had been wrong.

I had followed him.

And he had not lost me after all.

I had lost him.

It hit me like a physical blow. More than that, it ripped me open like a blade, tearing me apart, deep down to the core.

_I had lost him._

_Lost him._

_Lost him lost him lost him lost him lost him-_

'GALLUS!' His name ripped from my mouth again. His gaze burned into mine- and he was crying.

And a single word dropped from his lips.

'Karliah!'

It echoed and re-echoed and echoed again from the walls of the chamber- a final farewell, a final pledge of love. For a moment, time stood still.

Then Mercer spat onto the ground. His eyes burned with hatred as he took a pace forward and raised his sword again. I cried out, but I was still frozen where I stood, and I could make no move to stop him as he brought his blade smashing down through the air-

Gallus stiffened. A long, low, rasping breath issued from his throat. His hands clutched at the air. His eyes never left mine- gazing at me with so much horror and pain and fear and love that I could hardly bear to keep looking- yet I could not turn away.

The once bright brown eyes, eyes that had always gleamed with excitement and friendship and joy, stared into mine for a second more.

And then-

Without warning-

Before I could say a word or move a muscle-

They flickered shut.

And he lay still.

I felt the world jerk beneath my feet, tremble- and shatter into a thousand pieces. The ground was gone from under me, and I was falling, falling through the empty blackness of Oblivion, falling, falling, falling…

Mercer pulled his sword out from the limp body. His eyes- two cold chips of grey stone- looked up at me.

I stared back. The blood was roaring in my ears, and my heart was pounding, and nothing made sense, and the thoughts were flying through my head to fast to control, and the world had ended, and Gallus was lying on the floor, not moving, not speaking, not breathing, his blood pooling in a thick scarlet lake around him, and Mercer killed him, and Mercer betrayed him, and Mercer betrayed everything, and Gallus was dead dead dead dead dead-

But through all of my confusion, I suddenly realised one thing.

There was still an arrow, waiting patiently on my bowstring.

I let out a scream- no words, just rage. My arms no longer felt like a part of me- nothing did- and yet they moved, seemingly of their own accord, carrying out the simple movement they had performed so many countless times before. I felt the feathers brushing my cheek and released the arrow- at the exact same moment that Mercer wrenched his dagger from his belt and hurled it at my head.

The two weapons sailed through the air. Both struck home, and two cries of pain split the air. Mercer staggered backwards, clutching his side, the feathered shaft protruding from his armour. I felt a sudden, burning pain in my left shoulder, as if someone had clasped a flaming torch to it, as the dagger ripped through my armour, opening up a long, bright red wound, and continued on its flight, clattering into the wall behind me and skidding onto the floor.

We both stood there, our hands pressed to our wounds. Eye burned in the darkness. One pair, deep indigo, wide with horror, the other, cold grey, smouldering with hatred. A still, unmoving form huddled on the floor at our feet, the brown eyes that had once shone with love sealed tightly shut forever.

From what seemed to be a whole world away, I saw Mercer lift his sword.

And so I turned, and I ran.

And ran.

And ran.

Through the tunnels and passageways. Up the stairs. Past the Draugr that hurled themselves at me as if they simply did not exist.

Because they did not exist.

If Gallus was dead, then nothing was real any more.

_Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead-_

I kept running.

My feet seemed to fly up the steps. My breath came in short, shallow gasps. Suddenly I was emerging into light- so bright and dazzling that I covered my eyes as it blinded me for a moment. Drops of scarlet blood fell onto the pure white snow.

_He's dead he's dead he's dead he's dead he's dead-_

Still running. Running. Running through the trees that loomed up ahead of me, as if deliberately trying to block my path. Running through snow that seemed to grab at my feet with every stride, sucking me down. Running under a sky that was deepest black, spangled with the beautiful, peaceful lights of the stars…

_Dead gone lost forever Gallus my Gallus my Gallus-_

I fell. Fell down into the snow. It was cold, so cold, yet somehow I barely felt it. I was dimly aware of my rasping breaths, yet they seemed to be coming from far away. Everything seemed far away, unreal…

The world was beginning to spin, to distort, to fade away. The trees were being torn up from the ground, the heavens were breaking into pieces, and the stars were falling from the sky.

And he was gone.

I lifted my head. I looked towards the stars. They looked back with cold, unfeeling eyes.

'Gallus!' I cried, and the word echoed around the woods, as if the whole world were shouting his name, trying to call him back.

But there was no reply.

And there would never be a reply.

Never. Never, never, never, never, never.

He was gone.

A black wave crashed over me and dragged me down into Oblivion, and I knew no more.

* * *

END OF BOOK TWO


	22. Gone

**Hello there, readers! Good to see you're still following the story. We've reached Book Three, so I'd like to take this opportunity to thank all my lovely reviewers. I'm unbelievably grateful for all your support. And everyone who's put this story on their alerts and favourites is also very much appreciated. And in fact, anyone who's here, now, reading these words- the fact that you're reading my story makes me SO HAPPY! THANK YOU!**

**Aplogies again for taking so long. My workload right now is so big I'm practically drowning in it.**

**Chapter Twenty One. Here it is. As for the loose end I promised I'd clear up- It's implied, but never confirmed, that Mercer had a thing for Karliah. Before I wrote the previous chapter, I sat down and thought. For a long time. I was trying to work out what Mercer would say to the man he was about to kill. I wanted to make it really clear _why _he made the decision to murder Gallus. Because I think that in truth, he was a good man deep down. Or he used to be. Surely just the promise of wealth and power wouldn't be enough to make him betray his best friend? So I thought about what it might have taken to completely destroy his morals- and I realised that the same thing that nearly destroys Karliah would be the exact same thing that might destroy Mercer- the loss of a loved one. And then I thought about what Mercer says to her in the quest _Speaking With Silence, _about how, 'Gallus had his wealth and he had you.' Which, to me, implies that Mercer _didn't _have her. And I realised that the realisation that there would never be anyone for Karliah except Gallus might well be enough to set Mercer on the path that led to treachery and murder.**

**Wow. Long-winded explanation. Sorry, guys. But there we are, that (coupled with a few other things) is what I think made Mercer turn bad. You might disagree, and you're perfectly entitled to. But there's what I think, anyway. So now I'm going to shut up, because you don't to hear from me, you want to hear from my character. Over to you, Karliah.**

* * *

BOOK THREE- EXILE

_The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved._

Mother Teresa

* * *

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

'_I'll always be with you.'_

'_Always?'_

'_Always.'_

Briars scratched my face and hands as I stumbled through the snow-coated bushes, my feet pounding on the hard, icy rock.

_We'll be together forever. Nothing will separate us.'_

My feet slipped and slid on the loose stones as I scrambled up the slope, branches and twigs catching in my hair.

'_I don't care what anybody thinks or says or does. __Nothing is going to stop us from being together.__'_

His words sounded in my head as I reached the top of the rise and staggered on.

'_I love you, Gallus.'_

'_I love you too, my little Nightingale.'_

My feet lost their grip on the hard, rocky ground, and I found myself sliding over the icy stones, scrabbling to find a purchase. I felt my foot slide free, and I fell, landing hard, face-first on the rocks. I tasted blood in my mouth.

_He's gone._

I staggered to my feet and battled on. I sank into snow now with every stride, and the blood that still dripped from my wounded shoulder painted it with spots of scarlet. Some deep-buried part of me told me that I was leaving a trail, that _he_ would be able to follow me- but let him find me.

_He's gone._

Let him find me. Let him kill me. Let him murder me like he murdered Gallus. Let me join him.

_I've lost him._

Mountains around me. White snow beneath me. Endless black sky above, filled with clouds of stormy grey. Golden stars. Moons made of ruby and silver. Such serenity. Such silence. It couldn't be real. How could the world go on as normal if Gallus was gone?

_He's gone. _

I kept running. Running without intent or purpose. I did not know why I ran, only that I ran, and that I had to keep running. The rest of the world had dimmed and disappeared, and all that was left was the pain in my shoulder and the deep, agonising knowledge that Gallus was lost.

_Forever._

The howl of a wolf, in the distance. The cry of a hawk, far above. My own breath, coming in rapid, rasping gasps. They were the only sounds in the silence- a silence otherwise so deep and complete it almost seemed that the whole world had died down in that dark, ancient tomb.

_Smiles. Laughter. Love. Where has it gone? How has it come to this? _

Snow, whirling in my face, blinding me. Wind whipping around me, pushing me back. I fought on, on through the storm, but every stride was weaker than the last. I knew that soon I would fall, and I would not be able to get up again.

_Mercer, smiling as he strikes. Gallus cries out. The cry is cut short. He falls. He falls. The life is gone, the smile is gone, the laughter is gone, the love is gone. Gallus is gone._

Lights, pale yellow lights on the horizon, barely visible through the clouds of whiteness and the darkness of the night. I pushed through the bank of snow that blocked my path and kept going, and kept going, and kept going and going and going…

_His final shout rings through the air, echoing in my ears and pounding in my brain, terrified and desperate. 'Karliah!'_

_Gallus._

_Why, how, why is this happening? _

_How can you be gone? _

_Where are you? _

_Why did you leave me? _

_Are you there? Gallus?_

_Gallus?_

_Gallus?_

And suddenly I was among the lights, standing alone on an empty street. How did I get there? Why was I there? There was a reason, I was certain- I had come here seeking something. Or someone. But now, I couldn't remember, couldn't find it in my mind. Why?

I had to keep going. I couldn't let him find me. There was a reason… I couldn't let him find me because… there was something I had to do.

But… but who couldn't I let find me?

And who was I anyway?

I could feel the world falling apart beneath me. My whole mind was coming to pieces. Nothing made sense any more, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing-

A man emerged from behind a house. I saw that his face was familiar, and, deep in the back of what was left of my mind, a connection was made. I found myself walking forwards, stumbling with every stride.

A pair of eyes I recognised widened in surprise. A voice that I knew called out my name. I looked up and met his gaze.

'Karliah? What are you doing here? Are you hurt?'

What? What did he say? The words, they weren't making sense. Nothing was. Had Sheogorath claimed me? Had the Prince of Madness taken my mind for his own? Had I lost my wits as well as my lover?

I could hear his voice, saying my name again and again, every time with more urgency. But it was hardly my name any more. It meant nothing to me. Nothing did. There was only one name that made sense.

Gallus.

I blinked, and the world swam back into focus for a fraction of a second.

Somehow, I managed to choke out two words.

'He's dead.'

And then everything was gone.

* * *

Darkness. All was darkness. I could see nothing, hear nothing, feel nothing. I was alone, lost and alone in a universe of blackness.

I knew that the light would come. But this time I fought it. I did not want to go back. Here in the darkness, I was lost, but I was safe. To go back would be to be alone. Maybe he was here, somewhere in this world of shadows. But he wasn't in the light. He never would be again.

_Don't take me! _I shouted the words inside my head, desperate to fight away the brightness and warmth. _I can't go back! Not if he's not there! Please! _

But it could not hear me. It was only light. And it was taking me, slowly but surely, dragging up to the surface as if hauling me out of water. But I did not want to go. I wanted to drown here in the darkness.

That would be easier. Death would be better than a life without him.

But slowly, unstoppably, the world began to return. Just as they had done before, it came in pieces. First the feelings, then the sounds. But this time there was no sensation of safety. No warm, smooth voice, gently coaxing me back towards the light. Nothing but dark desolation. Because he was gone.

I didn't want to open my eyes, because that would be surrender. That would be to accept that I was alive, and that he was dead. That would be to give in, to begin a life- no, an existence- without him.

And I couldn't do that. I'd given everything to Gallus. My heart, my mind, my soul. What was I without him?

Nothing. That was what I was. Nothing.

Nothing and nobody.

'I sincerely hope that this isn't going to become a regular occurrence. For your sake as much as mine.'

The words were softly spoken, but they hit my head like blows from a hammer. I winced.

'Twice now. Twice now you've arrived in Winterhold with a poisoned wound, and I've had to fix you up. What was it this time? Rabid sabre cats? Dragons? Town guards who finally decided they'd had enough? Or did you pay the price for calling a Khajiit a furry cat?'

'Enthir,' I said, and my voice scratched in my throat as if it didn't want to be used. There was so much more to say, but it pained me too much to say it. _Enthir, _I wanted to say, _Gallus is dead. Enthir, Mercer's betrayed us. Enthir, you shouldn't have saved me. You should have let me die. It would have been easier for me to die. I was ready to die._

_I wanted to die._

I opened my eyes. As I had thought, I was back in the Frozen Hearth. Enthir stood by me, eyebrows raised inquisitively. The pain in my shoulder had gone, and I could see that it had been bandaged- but nothing could cure the wound that Mercer's sword had left on my soul as it took the life of the man I loved.

'Enthir,' I said again. 'What happened?'

'You don't remember?'

I shook my head. I dimly remembered somehow staggering into Winterhold, and finding Enthir there, but after that… nothing.

Enthir grabbed a nearby stool, yanked it over to the bedside, and sat down. 'I found you on the streets in the middle of the night,' he explained. 'Or rather, you found me. Hardly surprising you don't remember anything, 'cause you said two words and collapsed there and then. I had to carry you in here. Luckily nobody saw, or they might've started asking awkward questions. You've been here a whole day, floating between life and death. Several times I wondered if you were gonna make it. But it looks like you're stronger than you look.'

_You said two words and collapsed… _I felt tears welling up in my eyes. Fighting them back, I swallowed and whispered those two words- the two words that were just about all I understood at that moment. 'He's dead.'

Instantly a serious, worried expression crept over the Wood Elf's face, and he nodded slowly. 'You said that before. I thought you might just have been hallucinating or something. Who's dead, Karliah?'

Suddenly, I didn't want to say it out loud. If I did, it would make it irreversible. I didn't want to surrender to the cruel, cruel Gods who had taken him away from me, by admitting to myself and to them and to the world that he was gone.

But Enthir's eyebrows were still raised, and he was waiting for the answer.

I felt my voice waver with unshed tears as I forced out the name. 'Gallus.'

The Bosmer stared in shock and horror, his face slowly draining of blood and turning the colour of pale ash. 'You're sure?'

'I saw it.' It played over again in my head as I said the words. His last cry echoed in my ears, and I knew then that I would never be able to escape the sound of it. _'Karliah! Karliah! Karliah!'_

Enthir bowed his head, sorrow brimming in his eyes. 'How did it happen?' he said softly.

If I hadn't wanted to merely confirm that he was gone- _he was gone oh Gods above he was really truly gone- _to say how was harder still.

But it had to be said.

They had to know. Enthir had to know. And the Guild had to know. Suddenly it hit me- the Guild was leaderless. Gallus was gone- _how could you do this to me, Divines, how could you take him- _and Mercer had turned traitor. It staggered belief. Our leader was dead and our second had betrayed us. It didn't seem quite real. There was some small part of me that still, despite everything, believed that at any moment now the door would open and Mercer and Gallus would stroll in, apologising for having scared me.

But most of me knew that it would never happen. Mercer was gone, gone beyond all reason. And Gallus was gone beyond all reclaiming.

_Gone. He's gone, gone, gone._

'It…' I swallowed. 'It was Mercer.' The words caught in my throat and it was a battle with my own body to force them out. 'Mercer killed him.'

Enthir stiffened- stiffened in just the same way that Gallus had as Mercer's blade plunged into his back. 'No,' he whispered.

I nodded. 'I couldn't stop him,' I choked. 'He said that he didn't have any loyalty left and that he didn't care about the Nightingales and that he wasn't Gallus's friend any longer and then he _killed him-' _I could feel a scream rising in my throat, desperate to be let loose. _'He killed Gallus!' _I practically screeched, and there was no longer any holding back my tears. Enthir's stony gaze filled with compassion, and he rested a hand on my shoulder.

'Tell me everything,' he said quietly.

And so I let the tears come, and I told him.

I told him how Gallus had been acting the way he had- worried, flustered… afraid. How I had known something was wrong the moment he refused to tell me anything. How he had said that he didn't want to think that 'such a thing could be possible.' What his words had been, as I walked away. _'Lady, protect her. If I'm right, if it's true… please, I beg you, keep her safe.'_

Just thinking about it made me fall apart inside. Nocturnal heard his prayer; she had protected me. But she hadn't protected him.

I told him how I had spoken to Mercer, told him everything. Told him how Gallus was acting so strangely. How Mercer had promised me that 'this'll get sorted out.' And that feeling as he left, of how I had overlooked something dangerous…

'How could I not have seen it?' I sobbed. 'It's my fault he's dead! If I hadn't told Mercer…'

Enthir shook his head. 'No, it was Mercer's fault. Not yours. It seems Mercer was plotting this for a long time.' He sighed. 'I only met him a few times. I always thought he was ambitious, but ambitious in a good way. Ambitious to try and make the Guild great. Not… not like this.'

We were silent for a moment.

Struggling to retain my senses now, I told him how Gallus had tried to sneak away. How I had found him. How he had told me that I couldn't come with him, because he didn't want to lose me. How he galloped off into the perfect bright sky, how I, despite his pleas, had followed after. How I had fought my way through the Sanctum. How I had arrived in its heart. How Gallus had met with Mercer in the centre of the tomb… and died in the darkness there.

I could go no further, because along with the words came the rush of memories, evil, dark memories filled with cruelty and pain and blood. I saw Mercer's blade flash in the dusty grey light. I heard Gallus's agonised cry crash through the air. I watched him fall to the ground. Like watching a beautiful, majestic tree fall as an axe cuts through its trunk, cutting through its life.

I didn't understand how he could be gone. All I understood was that he was gone.

And if he was gone, I decided, then so was I.

I didn't want to live any more.

* * *

A day crawled by slowly. Perhaps it was longer than that; I cannot say. Time had lost meaning for me. Everything had lost meaning for me.

There was a dull ache inside me; a yawning emptiness where Gallus was supposed to be. I had cried until there were no tears left in me to cry. Whether they were tears for me or for him or for both of us I could not say. There was no reasoning behind my grief. It was grief so deep and so terrible that the word _grief _could not describe it. It was as if a void had opened in my soul; as if someone had torn open my chest and ripped out my heart.

Which, of course, they had. How else could I describe what Mercer had done? Gallus _was_ my heart. He was my light, my life, my soul. He was my refuge, my shelter, and my champion; he was my guide, my pathway star. He was my reason for living, my joy and my wonder. He was the beautiful miracle given to me by the Divines. He was the song of my heart.

And now he was gone.

Forever.

I had no reason for living any more. Life was nothing without him. To endure an existence where he wasn't there was impossible. It was a living death.

And so I did not look up as Enthir entered the room. I was beyond caring.

'Karliah,' he said, and though I didn't look at him, he carried on. 'I think you should read this.'

He held out a piece of paper. I looked at it, without really seeing it. _A piece of paper, _something sighed in my mind. _What does a piece of paper matter? What does anything matter?_

But I reached out and took it from him, all the same.

His face was grim. 'A courier delivered it just now. It came from Riften.'

Riften. I froze. The Guild. I had almost forgotten about my family of thieves. Why would they be contacting Enthir?

Dreading what I would see, I unfolded the parchment.

_Enthir, _the letter said, in a scruffy, ragged scrawl. A scrawl I recognised. The mere sight made my teeth grind and my breath catch in my throat. Because I knew this hadnwriting.

It was Mercer's.

Rage already brimming inside me, I forced myself to read on.

I had been expecting the worst. But what I read was worse than the worst.

_I understand that you are a long-time friend of our respected Guildmaster, Gallus Desidenius. He spoke very highly of you on many occasions and I know for a fact that your friendship meant a great deal to him. Therefore it is with great sorrow and regret that I must inform you that Gallus is dead._

_Gallus was a man who I was proud to have called my friend, and I feel obliged to you, seeing as you were also close to him, to tell you the cause of his death. With utmost loathing I must tell you that Gallus was murdered, murdered, it pains me to say, by one of our own number. I believe you will remember Karliah, who accompanied Gallus on his ill-fated mission to Irkngthand. She has always been one of our most loyal and accomplished members and, in all honesty, I cannot truly understand what reason she would have to turn against both Gallus and our Guild. However, turn against us she has, and now our leader lies dead at her hand. I was witness to this event and saw for myself how far she has descended into treachery and cruelty._

_These unhappy events transpired in this way. Karliah requested that Gallus meet her at a Nordic burial site named Snow Veil Sanctum- you may have heard of it. She claimed that this was urgent Guild business; however, it was in fact a cleverly-made trap. Her plan was to lure Gallus away from the Guild and murder him in such a secluded place that her crime might never be discovered. She clearly did not anticipate, though, that I would follow Gallus to the sanctum- which, worried by his recent behaviour, I did. I arrived in time to see her kill him in cold blood. _

_It pains me to think that such a noble man should have died in such a way, but I can assure you that I and my Guild- for I have now taken over its leadership- will not let this monstrous crime go unavenged. I managed to wound Karliah in our confrontation and- since my blade was poisoned at the time, ironically with a brew she supplied to me herself- it may be likely that she is already dead. However, this cannot be confirmed, and so I would ask you to be on your guard. Should you see her, I would advise you to keep your distance and notify the Guild as soon as possible. She has proven to be utterly without morals and I doubt she would think twice about murdering you. I have ordered my Guild to kill her on sight. We have no interest in taking her alive. Justice must be swift and our philosophy is an eye for an eye, blood for blood, a death for a death. She is no longer welcome within our number and we are currently scouring Skyrim in search of her. Should you have any knowledge regarding her location, I would ask you to inform me as soon as possible. It is essential that Gallus's murder is paid for with the death of the man who killed him. _

_With luck, the traitor will soon be found and brought to justice. She should be easy enough to find. She stands out, after all, being the only Dunmer in existence with blue eyes. If the Divines are kind, we will soon be able to avenge the death of the Guildmaster we so respected and loved._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Mercer Frey_

_Guildmaster of the Riften Thieves Guild._

Below that, the Guild symbol lay in thick black ink upon the parchment, bold and strong, as if mocking me.

Slowly, I read through the letter again. There was a roaring in my ears. I heard Mercer's sardonic voice echo in my mind, leering the words.

_Gallus was a man who I was proud to have called my friend._

_Gallus was murdered, murdered, it pains me to say, by one of our own number._

_I believe you will remember Karliah… our leader lies dead at her hand._

_I can assure you that I and my Guild- for I have now taken over its leadership- will not let this monstrous crime go unavenged._

_I have ordered my Guild to kill her on sight._

_She is no longer welcome within our number and we are currently scouring Skyrim in search of her._

_With luck we will soon be able to avenge the death of the Guildmaster we so respected and loved._

I sat motionless, staring, staring, staring. So many emotions were rising up alongside my grief- fear, hatred, and most of all, anger. Bitter, burning rage, consuming every part of me.

The letter sat there in my hands, and I stared at it with all the loathing I felt for the man who composed it. I wanted to rip it to shreds, to tear it apart, to scrunch it up and hurl it into the fire.

Instead, my hands released it, and it slowly fluttered to the floor with the tiniest rustling sound.

Mercer.

Liar.

Traitor.

Murderer.

_LIAR!_I screamed the word soundlessly inside my mind, again and again and again._ LIAR! LIAR! LIAR!_

_You-_

_You dare-_

_You evil-_

_Evil-_

_Mercer-_

_You-_

_You-_

_I'LL KILL YOU!_

'I'll kill him!' The words ripped from my mouth before I could stop them. 'He dares- he- he killed- he –'

I could form no intelligible sentence. I could complete no thought. My rage would not let me. Fury raged inside me like a fire. I looked up at Enthir, still standing beside me, his face blank. 'You don't believe this, do you?' The words were snarled so menacingly I barely recognised my own voice. 'You don't believe this… this…'

I couldn't find a name for it.

Enthir sat down beside me and placed a hand on my shoulder, as he had before, as if he were trying to hold back a ravenous, maddened, enraged animal. 'Karliah,' he said, and somehow the calmness with which he spoke the single word was enough to make the flames within me die down slightly. 'Listen to me.'

His eyes narrowed as he went on. 'You turned up half dead on the streets of Winterhold in the middle of the night. You fainted practically in my arms. By the Eight, you nearly died. And I know how you felt for Gallus. And how he felt for you. Of course I don't believe this. I've listened to your story, and I've heard the truth in it. I don't think you'd ever be capable of something like that. And quite apart from the fact that I know you wouldn't do such a thing in a million years, nobody is this good an actor.'

'I'll kill him.' Somehow, the fact that I said the words quietly made them seem all the more dangerous, made the vow they carried all the more menacing. 'I will. I will kill him.'

Enthir said nothing.

I looked down at the parchment that had been sent to me from Oblivion, where it lay on the floor, and suddenly a sentence caught my eye.

'He's ordered them to kill me on sight,' I said, my voice cracking. 'I can't go back.'

_I can't go back. _There was such a sudden finality about the words. In that moment, my life was ripped apart in front of my eyes.

'Oh, Gods,' I choked. 'I can't go back. They'll kill me.'

Enthir closed his eyes.

'They're the only family I have!' I could feel my voice rising, and though I knew that I was nearing hysteria, somehow I didn't care. 'The Guild's the only home I know! _How can I not go back?'_

Enthir let out a long sigh.

'What am I going to do?' The words burst from me in ragged sobs. 'Divines. What am I going to do?'

_Nothing, _a voice in my mind whispered. _What can I do? What's the point in anything?_

For a few seconds, there was silence.

Then, very slowly, Enthir raised his head and met my eyes. 'I'll tell you what you're going to do,' he said firmly. 'You're going to make this right. You're going to bring Mercer to justice. You're going to reveal the truth to the Guild. 'You're going to avenge Gallus's death. You're going to stay strong and keep fighting, 'cause there's no one else who can fight this battle.'

Somehow, his words reached deep down inside me and touched my heart. In my mind, I saw the fear and horror and anguish and pain and despair in Gallus's eyes as he fell.

I heard his last cry.

And I knew in that moment, that this was why I had to keep going.

Something gripped my heart. A feeling cold as ice.

Enthir was right.

This was the point in carrying on.

This was what I was going to do.

This was my reason for living.

Vengeance.

At any cost.

* * *

**Why, Mercer? WHYYYYY?**

**We're about halfway through now. 58 reviews! I'm sooo happy about that. You know what would be really great? If we could reach 100 before the end. Of course, you don't have to review if you don't want to, and I fully appreciate that. But if you'd like to take a moment to review, as I've said before, that would please me immensely, especially as I really want to know how I did with these scenes. I found it really hard to convey all the emotions and I'd really like to know if I did it well.**

**Thanks for reading! **


	23. Broken

CHAPTER TWENTY TWO

Neither of us wanted to say it.

It hung in the air between us, unavoidable, but unsaid. It loomed over us like a dark, menacing shadow. Enthir knew it. And I knew it. But neither of us said it.

He did not say it out of kindness. I did not say it out of fear.

But the truth was simple, and unavoidable. And the truth was that I simply could not stay.

It was an impossibility. If those awful, cruel, words in Mercer's letter had been true, if the Guild – my Guild, my home, my _family – _was really hunting me down like prey, intent on finding me and killing me, then… then every second I stayed, I was putting Enthir in more and more danger. I was endangering his life, and I had no right. If the Guild found that he was sheltering me, then they would kill us both. Nothing we could say or do would make a difference, would calm their anger, would make them see the truth. They had all loved Gallus. Though nobody, nobody on all Nirn, would never love him in the way I had, or as strongly, he had been our leader. And we had trusted him, respected him, obeyed him without question.

And they thought I had killed him.

Gods above. Would I ever get used to referring him to the past tense? Would I ever be able to call the Guild 'they,' instead of 'we?'

I couldn't bear thinking about it. In my mind's eye, I kept seeing Mercer announcing his lie to the Guild. I saw the twins staring in disbelief, saw Brynjolf shaking his head in horror, saw Ahsla's tears and Vex's fists clenching with rage. I heard their yells of anger and fury, heard their voices calling for my blood. I saw Mercer sitting at Gallus's desk, reading Gallus's books, helping himself to Gallus's money, leading Gallus's Guild. And there was no one to stop him.

Except me.

And there was nothing I could do.

Mercer. My hatred for him was so strong that it consumed me utterly. I could not close my eyes without seeing his cold, sneering grey gaze in my mind. I could not rest, not with the image of his blade flashing in the dim light as he thrust it forward refusing to leave my mind. As I listened to the voices that sounded in the Frozen Hearth, unfamiliar voices that merged into each other in a never ending blur of noise, I sought out particular voices above all the others. In dread, I strained my ears for Mercer's sarcastic tones. In apprehension, I listened for the Guild members who would always be my brothers and sisters and friends, no matter what they thought of me. And in vain, cruel hope, I wished above all to hear that smooth, rich, velvety voice, the voice that always made my skin tingle, the voice that calmed my soul, the voice of love and hope and joy.

A voice that I would never hear again.

Never again would I hear that little chuckle. Never again would I gaze into those beautiful brown eyes as they shone with warmth and love. Never again would I see him smile- not the roguish grin, nor the proud beam, nor the heartfelt smile of pure love that he reserved only for me. Never again would I feel his arms around me, and know that I was safe in his embrace. Never again would he call me his little Nightingale.

The thought would have brought me to tears. If I had any tears left to cry. If my grief had not gone far beyond tears.

Again and again, I read through the letter. The words were burned into my memory, but still, I read them again. Perhaps I hoped that the next time I looked at it, it might say something different. Say something that would not rip my life apart.

Desperation inspires the most foolish of hopes within us all.

After what must have been the fortieth time, something within me snapped. Despite the fact that Enthir was standing right beside me, I let my anger loose. With a twisted roar, I tore the paper in two. 'I'll kill you,' I snarled.

Enthir stood staring at me, with an expression of calm sorrow on his face.

I tore it into quarters. 'Slowly,' I growled. 'Painfully.'

Enthir didn't so much as blink.

I tore it into eighths. A few bits slipped through my fingers and fluttered to the floor. I ignored them. 'And I'm going to enjoy doing it,' I hissed.

Enthir let out something that was not quite a sigh but was more than silence.

I grabbed the remaining bits of paper, crushed them in my fist, and hurled them into the fire. The flames leaped up to consume them, devouring them greedily. I watched with my hands bunched into fists as they crinkled in the heat, flushed bright red, and fell apart into tiny mounds of black and white ash. The last thing I saw of the letter that determined my fate was the Guild symbol falling apart in the shrouding smoke and roaring flames.

'And my eyes are not _blue,_' I spat. It was a small thing. But somehow it was more than I could take. 'They're indigo. They're Gods-damn indigo.'

Enthir stood in silence for a moment, then spoke with the air of someone who hasn't really considered what they're about to say. 'They're indigo when you're in shadow, but if you're standing in the light, they look a little lighter, I think,' he said finally. 'Purple, perhaps. Or violet.'

'Shut up,' I snarled, without thinking. I expected him to be offended, but instead he just gave a long sigh and sat down.

'I'm sorry,' he said quietly. 'I speak without thinking sometimes.'

I nodded. 'Me too.' I lifted and lowered one shoulder, not being able to summon the strength to shrug. 'I'm sorry, Enthir.'

'Nothing to be sorry for,' he told me, shaking his head.

'Nothing?' I asked dryly. 'So I don't need to be sorry for putting your life at risk because my own Guild-' My voice caught on the words, and I tried again. 'Because my own Guild are willing to kill me and anyone who shelters me?'

'No, you don't.' He folded his arms. 'I owe it to Gallus to give you whatever help I can.'

Silence fell as deeply as the night falls. I closed my eyes.

'You've done enough for me,' I said softly. 'I've no right to stay here any longer.'

'You're hurt.'

'I'm fine.' It was a lie. Or partly a lie. I was sound in body. But my mind, my heart and my soul were lost beyond all reclaiming.

'No, you're damn well not.'

'Enthir, sooner or later they'll come here. Mercer knows you were Gallus's friend, and he knows I might have come here. Why else send _that?' _I jerked my head at the hearth, where the last scraps of paper that had fallen short of the flames were shrivelling in the heat. 'If they find me here, they'll kill you.'

'I'm willing to risk that.'

'But I'm not.' I swung my legs out of the narrow bed and glared at him. 'You've done all you can. And I'm more grateful than you can imagine. But if anything happened to you because you were trying to help me, I would never forgive myself.'

I got to my feet before he could reply and walked over to the small table where my gear rested. 'I have to leave, and I have to leave now. Before they come.'

'They might not come,' he objected, standing up.

'Like I said. I'm not risking it.' I slung my quiver over my shoulder, strapped my potion satchel around my waist and tucked my dagger into my belt. My heart clenched as I did so, remembering that night down on the snowbound shore when he had pressed it into my hand…

I shook my head firmly. I mustn't think about that. Not now.

I picked up my bow, weighing it in my hands. I stroked its sleek, curved form, and plucked the bowstring. It pinged into place with a vibrating _twang _I knew so well. Somehow, the tiny fragment of something I knew and trusted gave me strength. I shoved it into its holder and turned to face Enthir.

He sighed. 'I can't stop you, can I?'

'No.'

'Then is there anything I can give you?'

I blinked. 'Nothing except a promise.'

His eyebrows lifted a fraction. 'What sort of promise?'

I narrowed my eyes and met his gaze. 'A promise that you will not put yourself in any more danger. Not for my sake.'

He hesitated.

'You've done too much for me, Enthir. You mustn't, you can't, do any more. I don't want your death on my conscience as well as everything else.'

He was still for a second; then he nodded. 'All right. I promise.'

'Thank you.'

Enthir dipped his head. 'If anyone asks, by the way, you were never here.'

I smiled at him. It was a forced smile- I think perhaps I had lost the ability to smile- but it was a smile, nonetheless. 'Thank you,' I said again.

'Don't mention it. One thing, though- how exactly are you planning to leave? You can't exactly stroll out via the door, seeing as nobody knows you're even here.'

I snorted and marched over to the window. 'Enthir, am I a thief or not?'

I pushed it open and grabbed hold of the frame. 'If I don't see you again,' I told him, as the cold air flooded into the room, 'then know this, Enthir. I'll never forget what you've done for me. Never.'

He gave me his usual lopsided smile. 'Take care of yourself, Karliah.'

I nodded. 'I'll try.'

I hauled myself up into the window frame and looked back at him one final time. Then I turned away and jumped down into the snow.

The landing was cold. As was the realisation.

There was no going back now. I had no home any longer. The Guild was no sanctuary, not any more. Soon, all of Skyrim's criminal underworld would be hunting me down. Perhaps they were already.

I had nowhere to go. No place to hide. Only one person I could trust, and he could not help me now.

I was outcast. Exiled. Alone.

* * *

I don't know how long I wandered for. It could have been as little as thirty minutes, yet it could have been many hours. I kept away from the roads, staying among the cover of the snowy pines, where the predators were many, but the people at least were few. I could not risk being seen by anyone, no matter who they were. The word would soon be out that the Guild was searching for me, and soon there would be eyes all over Skyrim searching for a Dark Elf woman with indigo eyes.

There was nowhere I would be safe. To allow anyone to see me might well be my death.

My mind filled with grief that tore me apart with every step, and my heart barren with desolation, I walked on and on and on. I was not trying to get anywhere. In fact, I hoped I never would get anywhere. I just wanted to walk until I walked off the edge of the world and fell into the welcoming darkness below. Perhaps, if I kept on walking, I would manage to escape it all, to leave it all behind- the grief, the desolation, the great, yawning emptiness inside me, the memories that kept repeating in my mind. If I kept walking, maybe I would escape the sound of that final cry, the cry that was still ringing in my ears, and was sure to keep ringing in my ears forever more.

But I knew that, no matter how far I walked, I would never walk far enough to escape the truth.

I kept walking.

I think perhaps I was grateful when I heard the howls. I don't know why. Maybe it was because I was longing for something I could understand- and fighting, I understood. Or maybe it was because I hoped that there would be too many of them, and they would rip me to pieces and tear my life apart and leave me to die, alone, here in the coldness of the snow.

But there was still enough left of me to fight back.

As I watched the sleek, grey bodies hurtling towards me over the frosted ground, their snarls echoing off the trunks of the silently watching trees, I felt a calm settle inside me. There was something so reassuring in drawing back my bowstring, picking out my target, feeling the pent-up power in the taut string, the power that begged to be let loose. And I let it go, let the arrow cut the air, watched it as it buried itself in the first wolf's throat. I watched with cold, emotionless eyes as its limp form thumped down into the snow, as its blood trickled out onto its pelt, matting the thick grey fur. I think that in some dark corner of my mind, it was not a wolf, but a man, who lay unmoving on the snow, slain by my shaft. A grey-eyed Breton I had once called my friend.

The beasts did not falter, and so I stood there, my feet rooted to the spot and my arms repeating the same movement, again and again. Not one of the creatures even neared me. One by one, they twisted in mid-stride, let out snarls of rage and anguish and fell to the ground, transfixed by my arrows, to kick and growl and breathe their last. Every arrow I fired was not merely an arrow but a portion of my anger, my grief, my despair. I had kept it bottled up inside me for so long, for too long, and now, as the wolves fell and died around me, I felt my fury slowly draining from me, to be replaced by emptiness. An emptiness that finally let sense penetrate my ravaged thoughts.

As the eyes of the final wolf misted over, my mind at last seemed to gain control of itself. And that was when the thought struck me; the thought that should have occurred to me long ago.

I was not quite alone.

There was one who was still with me. One who knew the truth. One who might yet be able to right the wrongs.

I knew that she would not be able to bring Gallus back.

Nothing could. Nothing ever would.

But I was still a Nightingale of Nocturnal. My Oath still bound me to her. She would know of Mercer's treachery. He broke his Oath to her, betrayed her completely. Had the Dark Lady not said on the day I had made my vows to her that any Nightingale who betrayed their Oath became nothing to her? Gallus had served her well and faithfully for many, many years. There was no doubt that Nocturnal would hunger for his blood as much as I did.

I had been wrong. There was one place for me to go.

As I let out the breath I had been holding in, I heard a crunch from behind me, the crunch of a foot on snow. In a heartbeat, I had an arrow aiming between the trees in the direction of the sound, ready to fire at a moment's notice. Another crunch. Too heavy for a wolf. Too heavy for a man. A sabre cat, perhaps? Or a bear?

But as a dark figure emerged from the trees I relaxed as I saw that neither guess was right. I felt a spark of what might have been happiness, had I not lost the ability to be happy. I wasn't as lost as friendless as it seemed, after all.

'Dusk,' I murmured, stepping forward. 'How did you find me?'

The black stallion snorted and pushed his velvety soft muzzle into my chest. I smiled sadly and stroked his nose. A tiny amount of warmth flickered into being inside the coldness within me. It was comforting to know that there was one person who would never abandon me- even if it was only a horse.

I took hold of his reins and swung myself up into the saddle. I drew in a deep, long breath, and turned him towards the south-west.

'Come on, boy,' I whispered, digging my heels into his sides. 'We're going to Nightingale Hall.'

His hooves flung up clouds of snow and ice as I urged him into a canter, towards the distant mountains.

_She will help me, _I told myself. _I will kill Mercer. I will avenge Gallus. I will put everything I can to rights. And if I can't…_

_Then at least I'll meet him again in Evergloam._

* * *

Never before had I set foot in Nightingale Hall alone. Gallus and Mercer had always been with me, leading the way. Just the thought was enough to make a sob rise up in my throat. I swallowed it down, but had to pause in the darkness, gathering my thoughts and controlling the emotions churning within me.

How had it come to this? It seemed impossible. All those times, we had come to this place on Nocturnal's orders, answering her summons. We had gone as fellow Nightingales, as warriors and comrades, as friends. Gallus and Mercer had looked out for me, defended me, and I had done the same for them. We had fought side by side. Treachery was the last thing in any of our minds. And yet one of the Three lay dead in the darkness of an ancient ruin, a second had turned traitor, and the third was an exile.

I didn't understand. All those missions I'd shared with Mercer. All the years he and Gallus had been friends. For all the time I'd known him, I'd never doubted his loyalty to the Guild. What could possibly have made him stray onto the path of hatred and murder and betrayal?

Gallus's voice echoed unbidden in my mind. '_Is this really about the power? About the money? About the Guild?'_

_'What do you mean?' _

_'Karliah. I know how you feel about her, and I'm sorry.'_

_'How I __used __to feel about her, you mean.'_

_'It's not her fault.'_

_'Oh, I know. It's not her fault she was stolen from me by my supposed best friend.'_

Could it be true? Could Mercer have really…? Surely not. Surely I would have seen if he had.

But if he had… It would make sense. I knew that I would kill anyone who stole Gallus from me.

That was why Mercer had to die.

I pushed the thoughts from my mind and forced myself to walk forwards into the hall. _Don't think about that, _I told myself. _Don't think about Gallus. Think about Nocturnal. Think about what you have to do._

My feet felt as if they were made of rock as I made my way over to the armour stones. I barely noticed the feeling I usually loved so much as the Nightingale armour took form on my body. All I could think of was Gallus and Mercer, standing by the stones on the day I took the Oath.

'_It's kind of fun,' Mercer says, grinning, and Gallus laughs. His eyes are shining…_

'Stop it,' I snapped at myself. 'Don't think about him. _Don't.'_

Through the spear gate. Into the central chamber. I had no eyes now for its beauty. I hesitated on the centre stone, unsure of where to go. I had always stood on the western stone. But Gallus had always called to Nocturnal from the central platform. So where should I stand? Would it be disrespectful to Gallus's memory- _don't think about him! – _to take his place? But I didn't see that I had much choice. If the central stone was the one where you summoned the Dark Lady, that was where I would have to go.

_Gallus takes his place. He turns to look at me, raising his eyebrows. Giving me, as always, a chance to turn away. But I won't abandon him…_

I raised my arms, just as he had done so many times, looked towards the platform in the centre of the room, and called out the words I remembered so well. Words I had never thought I would have to say.

'I call upon you, Lady Nocturnal, Queen of Murk and Empress of Shadow… hear my voice!'

For a second, I thought she wasn't coming, for the chamber did not darken and the silence stayed profound and unbroken. Fear gripped me. Did there have to be three Nightingales present for her to come? Had she somehow not heard? Or would she answer only to Gallus?

But then the shadows began to fill the room, and the air grew icy cold. The air flickered in the centre of the room, and I lowered my eyes, knowing that I was in my Lady's presence. She had come, after all. I had been enough. She would hear me, and she would help. She would help me to save the Guild and avenge Gallus and bring Mercer to justice. She would. She had to.

_Karliah. _Her voice was so cold that I felt fear flood me instantly. _Daughter of Dralsi. You have either the largest amount of courage I've ever seen in a mortal, or the largest amount of stupidity._

I frowned. What did she mean? 'My Lady?' I said uncertainly. 'I… I've come to-'

_I know why you've come. _She sounded impatient. Almost bored. _What I want to know is how you dared to._

I hesitated, and I could feel myself shaking. I knew it wasn't because of the cold. 'My Lady,' I said again, but she cut across me, her voice as icy as the air.

_You call yourself my Nightingale. Then would you like to explain why one of your fellow Nightingales now lies dead, slain at the hand of your other comrade- who is even now betraying every last portion of his Oath?_

My voice was shaking. 'I didn't know what Mercer was planning. I couldn't stop what happened to Gallus. You know I would have done if I could.'

_Oh, I know. I am well aware of the fact that you and he were, shall we say, intimate. But what angers me, Karliah, is not that you did not know, but that you should have._

My initial anger at the word _intimate _– Divines above, she knew we had been so much more than that- quickly gave way to all-consuming guilt that engulfed me in a thick, deep wave. 'I know I should have.' The words sounded so weak, so… frightened. I never let myself sound weak, never. Was this what Mercer had done to me? Had he truly destroyed me so completely?

_Indeed you should. And you should have known the full extent of what Mercer has done. You should have prevented his betrayal, and you should have prevented his true crime._

His true crime? What crime could be worse than what he had done to Gallus? He betrayed him! He took him away from me! He murdered him! What could be worse than that? What on all Nirn, what in the name of all the Divines, could possibly be worse than that?

'His… his true crime?' I wavered uncertainly.

_His true crime, _she affirmed frostily. _Do you remember what you promised me, Karliah, on the day you made your Oath?_

My throat too tight for me to speak, I merely nodded.

_Then tell me. Tell me the Oath of the Nightingale._

Gods, why wouldn't my voice stop shaking as I replied? 'To defend with my life the Twilight Sepulchre and the treasure it contains, as well as the secret of my existence, no matter what might befall me. To protect the lives of my fellow Nightingales with all of my strength and honour, and, if necessary, my blood. And to accept that my life is bound to yours, and that in both this world and the next, I must defend my sanctuary and the Skeleton Key- whatever the cost.'

_Good. Very good. _Her tone was mocking, contemptuous. _If it is so easy to remember, then why have you found it so hard to act upon it, Karliah? There are but three terms, and they are simple. Defend the Skeleton Key. Protect your fellow Nightingales. Give all your life and your death to mine. _I could imagine her arms folding and her eyes narrowing. _You have broken your Oath. You have failed in all your duties._

It was like being frozen in ice, or having my heart torn from my chest, or watching Gallus fall to the ground all over again. What? What could she mean? How… how could I have failed so utterly? I knew that I should have saved Gallus- _I should have saved him, I could have saved him, why didn't I save him- _and that I should have stopped Mercer. But the others?

And then the realisation hit home. It was as if I had been shot in the heart.

'No,' I choked, my voice barely audible. 'He can't have.'

_He has, _was the cool reply. _He has taken his Oath and ripped it to pieces with his bare, bloodstained hands. He has murdered his fellow Nightingale, betrayed the trust I placed in him, and desecrated the Twilight Sepulchre. He has destroyed the very meaning of what it means to be a Nightingale._

'He's taken it,' I whispered. 'He's stolen the Skeleton Key.'

And suddenly it all made sense. Why Mercer had betrayed us. Why he had scorned his Oath. How had had managed to fool us so completely without us realising. Why my love was dead.

He had stolen the Key. He had stolen the sacred artefact he had been charged with protecting. He had taken it, and taken with it its power.

_We ride towards Nightingale Hall, the three of us together. Mercer's eyes glint as he explains. __'In the heart of Nocturnal's temple lies the Ebonmere, the conduit to her realm of Evergloam. Keeping the Ebonmere open is the Skeleton Key, an immensely powerful Daedric artefact that holds the ability to unlock both physical and metaphysical barriers, both in the world and within the one who carries it.'_

_Gallus shakes his head. __'Nobody is supposed to carry the Key, Mercer. Tempting though it is, the Skeleton Key's power is far too mighty to be controlled by a mere mortal. It has destroyed many who have tried to wield it. It belongs to Nocturnal, and to Nocturnal alone.' His eyes meet mine. 'You must understand this before you take the Oath. The Skeleton Key is not to be underestimated, not under any circumstances. Its power is not for us to bear.'_

And all that power, all that hidden potential, was in Mercer's hands. In the hands of the liar. The traitor. The murderer.

'No,' I sobbed. It was as if I was seeing the entire world fall apart right in front of me. 'No, no, no.'

_Yes. _Nocturnal spoke without emotion. _The Skeleton Key, the item you were meant to guard with your life, is gone. What excuse do you have for this failure? How do you explain your ineptitude? _

'Please,' I begged her desperately. 'I didn't know. I'm sorry…'

_Sorry? Sorry? What use is sorry? Can 'sorry' bring Gallus Desidenius back from the dead? Can 'sorry' reclaim my Nightingale sentinels, who, without the Key to keep the Evergloam conduit open, are forgetting their identities and turning feral? Can 'sorry' bring Mercer Frey back to me? Can 'sorry' return the Skeleton Key? Can 'sorry' mend your incompetence? Can 'sorry' put right that fact that you have failed in your duty to me?_

I could feel tears rising up within me, and as hard as a tried to battle them down, they would not stop. This couldn't be happening. She couldn't be saying this to me. She had to help, she had to!

But there was no sympathy from her. _Can you have forgotten, Karliah, what I told you the day you took your Oath? It seems you have. I will say it again. __Your Oath is binding, but it is not unbreakable. Should you betray me or your companions, or fail in your duty as a Nightingale, then it will be shattered into pieces. And be warned- if it is ever broken, your Nightingale status will be gone, and you will be nothing in my eyes. Break the Oath, and you betray your fellow Nightingales, betray your Guild, betray your honour, and- most dangerous of all- you betray me. I believe that was what I said. Do you deny it?_

'No, my Lady.' I could hardly get the words out.

_I asked you if you understood this. You said you did. But it appears you did not…_

'I didn't know!' I shouted the words without thinking, my hands bunching into fists. 'I'm _sorry! _I know it's no use, but I am! There was no way I could have known what Mercer was doing! I trusted him! I thought he was my friend! How could I have known? Why should I have ever suspected that he would betray us?'

Nocturnal made no reply. I carried on, almost hysterical, all the anger I had been storing inside me finally breaking free. 'I watched him die! I loved him and I _watched him die! _Do you think I wouldn't have tried to save him if I could? Do you think I wouldn't have tried to stop Mercer from taking the Key if I'd damn well known he was taking it? How can I have failed if I didn't even know I was failing? How can I have broken the Oath without even knowing that it was being broken? I didn't break it, Mercer broke it for me! How's that my fault? I came here because I thought you'd be as eager to bring Mercer to justice as I am! But no, all you're interested in is telling me I've failed because _the man I loved was murdered right in front of me!'_

For a moment, there was no response. Then the reply finally came, very quiet, and very, very cold.

_Your Oath is broken. I warned you that if it was broken, you would be nothing to me. It was a warning you did not heed. You are no longer worthy of the name of Nightingale. Be gone. And do not dare to return, Karliah. Never before has a Nightingale failed in their duty so utterly. You are nothing in my eyes from this moment forth. And you always will be._

'No!' I screamed the word even as the light began to return, as the invisible presence faded, as the cold air warmed, as the sound of that callous voice died away. 'No! Please!_ No! No! No!'_

But the only reply was silence.

* * *

**How did Dusk find her? You tell me. My horse on Skyrim always seems to be able to find me, so I guess horses on Nirn are just smart like that.**

**What is it with Daedric princes and being utterly mean to perfectly nice people? *sigh* This bit always just breaks my heart. When I first learned about how Nocturnal banished Karliah just because she wasn't able to stop Mercer taking the Key, I spent a long time yelling at the screen. Something along the lines of 'you heartless Daedric !*?!*' I doubt I was the only one. So I worked quite hard on making this scene as good as I could get it. How'd I do?**


	24. Alone

CHAPER TWENTY THREE

I don't know how long I stayed there in the darkness. At some point I had fallen to my knees, and I could feel the cold stone freezing my legs. I was barely aware of it. I was barely aware of anything anymore.

The silence was unbearable. It seemed to be mocking me, scorning me, trying to make sure I knew just how alone I truly was. Because I was alone. Completely alone. I had lost Gallus, my place in the Guild, and now I had even lost my calling as a Nightingale. I was alone. Lost and alone. Exiled from my home, accused of a murder I would never have committed in a thousand years. The only man I would ever love dead. Everything I had ever taken pride in destroyed. My Oath broken. My title gone. Friendless and lost.

And alone.

Alone, alone, alone.

I stayed there on my knees on the platform. To my left and to my right, the other platforms stood empty. Platforms which would never again be filled.

The Nightingales were gone. I had failed Gallus, failed my Guild, failed Nocturnal- failed myself.

Mercer was not the traitor. I was the traitor.

I felt a sob break unbidden from my throat. It echoed from the walls of the chamber, loud and desperate. I buried my face in my hands, trying to block out the sight of those empty platforms, to lose myself in darkness, to return to the shadows where I knew I would be safe.

But I never would be safe in the shadows again. I had been outcast from the shadows. The spirits of the Nightingales of old would never walk with me again. And not just because my status as Nightingale had been ripped away from me. The Key was gone. The Nightingale Sentinels were lost, Nocturnal had told me. Turned feral.

My mother. Was she one of those spirits? Had she forgotten her identity, turned against the world? Had she lost all memory of herself? Of my father? Of me?

And… Divines above. Gallus. Had he passed to the Sepulchre? Had Gallus lost his binding to Nocturnal? Had he forgotten who he was? Could he truly have forgotten me?

I didn't want to believe that he had. But if he had, it was because of me.

All of this was because of me.

I should have known. Nocturnal was right. I should have known. I should have known what Mercer was planning. I should have stopped him. I should have saved Gallus, saved the Key, saved the Nightingales. Saved myself.

But I hadn't.

I had failed.

But… how could Nocturnal have been so callous? Surely she knew how hard I had tried?

But no. I hadn't tried hard enough. I'd become wrapped up in my grief. I'd allowed myself to forget my duty.

And this was my punishment.

It was a punishment I deserved.

I knelt there in the darkness and cried. I had thought that there were no tears left in me to cry, but I had been wrong. I might have wept enough to fill a river there and then. They were tears of grief, tears of anger, and, most of all, they were tears of emptiness. A strange thing to say, perhaps, but true. So painfully true. There were only three feelings inside me at that moment. There was rage, rage for Mercer and for Nocturnal and for myself, bitter, burning, hate-filled rage. There was grief. Grief for everything I had lost. For I had lost everything. In the course of two evil days, two days of betrayal and loss and treachery, I had seen everything that had meant something in my life destroyed in front of my eyes. The only family I had left was hunting for me, eager to soak their hands in my blood. I had been outcast forever from the only home I knew. My Nightingale status, a secret I had taken such pride in, had been ripped away from me. And the only person left who I loved was dead.

He was dead. Gallus was dead. He was gone forever.

And that was why the third feeling was emptiness. I would never see him again. Not even in death. I was no longer a Nightingale. I would never guard the Sepulchre, never pass to Evergloam. My soul would join the millions of other souls that simply fade into the mists of time, forgotten. Gallus and I would never be together again.

Never.

It was such a cruel word. _Never. _My one comfort had been that I would, one day, see him again. But I never would. Never. Never. Never. I thought back to the night when I had finally learned his heart. How blind I had been, to think that we would always be together.

'_I had to tell you. I came so close to losing you.' Gallus is swallowing back tears of joy. 'If you'd died without ever knowing how I felt-'_

'_But I didn't,' I murmur, gazing into those beautiful, love-filled eyes. 'You saved me. And now we've got the rest of our lives.'_

_I feel as if I could look at his smile forever as he replies. 'The rest of our lives. And beyond that.'_

_My heart nearly bursts with joy then, because he is right. I can spend the rest of my life by his side, and when it ends, we will go to Evergloam together. And there, we can spend an eternity with each other. We will never be parted. We shall be with each other until the end of the world and the deaths of the Divines…_

I had been wrong. I had been so wrong.

'_Gallus,' I whisper. The moons shine down, strong and bright, upon us._

'_Mmm?' He raises his eyebrows._

'_Don't ever leave me,' I tell him, and his reply is so full of love and certainty I nearly die of joy there and then._

'_I'll always be with you.'_

'_Always?' I ask, treasuring the sound and feel of the word of my tongue._

'_Always,' he confirms, taking my hand in his. 'I don't care what anybody thinks or says or does. Nothing is going to stop us from being together.'_

Nothing,_ I think to myself, and I believe it. 'Gallus, you have no idea how much I love you.'_

_His quiet laughter sends a shiver of delight down my spine. 'Perhaps about as much as I love you, my little Nightingale…'_

A terrible thought crept into my mind, and fear gripped my heart in an icy hand. What if Gallus's spirit had not passed to the Sepulchre? Would it even be possible for it to, without the Key? If the Key was gone, if the conduit to Evergloam was closed, then… Gods, what had happened to him? Was his soul lost somewhere, in the darkness of the night?

I got to my feet, staring at the blank space in front of me. 'How could you do this to me?' I screamed, knowing that she was listening, wanting her to answer. But I knew the only response would be cold, cruel silence, and I was right, all too painfully right.

I felt myself breaking into a run. The whole world seemed to flicker out of sight and reach as I fled down the hall. I barely registered the feeling of my armour melting away from my body as I slammed my hand down on the armour stone, nor the sudden rush of cold night air that hit me as I stumbled out of the door to the hall. Everything faded away as I sank to my knees outside the cliff, the chill of the night icing my tears, my sobs echoing off the towering stone walls of the cliffs.

The moons and the starts filled the sky with light and beauty. The trees were painted silver in their glow. The sky was not quite black, but a rich deep blue. Indigo. An indigo sky glittering with silver stars. A whole world, mocking me with its beauty.

I hauled myself to my feet and fought my way over to where Dusk stood in the shelter of a cluster of dark trees. He nuzzled me as I reached him, his soulful brown eyes seemed to be filled with sorrow, as if he somehow sensed my grief. I stroked his sleek black coat for a moment, then pulled myself up into his saddle.

I let the world go. I let everything drift away except the sound of my steed's hooves pounding on the ground. I allowed myself to drift into the misty darkness of something that was not quite sleep, but was definitely not consciousness. It was more a sort of daze, a hazy half-waking half-sleeping, that blocked out the rest of the world and left me alone with my raging inner turmoil of guilt and grief and loss and rage and fear.

I don't think I was trying to end up there. Maybe Dusk knew that the place meant so much to me and found his way there. Perhaps the Gods had not deserted me after all and guided me to the place. Maybe my mind led me there without my realising. But however it came to pass, I found myself down by the shore of the lake, with the great stretch of shimmering water lying between me and the place where Gallus and I had met each other so many times. It was the wrong side of the lake, the wrong shore. But it was the same lake, and it still had the same magic.

But I knew that it was not true. The magic had not come from the lake itself. It had come from us. Me and Gallus, Gallus and me. He was gone. He was dead. And the magic had died alongside him.

I slipped from the saddle and forced myself back into the world. Once more, I heard the waves' whisper and the wind's song. Once more, I gazed upon the light of the stars and the ebony-coloured water. I returned to reality, and it was painful. So painful.

All my hurt and anger faded away as I walked down to the water's edge, and by the time I stood by the side of the lake, with the water lapping at the toes of my boots, there was once again nothing in me but emptiness and wrenching grief.

Behind me, I heard Dusk paw the ground. I listened to the scrape of his hoof on the earth. It sounded like someone digging a grave.

I bit my lip and looked out over the water. The stars shone high above me, and shadows clustered around the bases of the golden-leaved trees. I looked at the patches of darkness, the spirits of the Nightingales that had given up their lives in the service of Nocturnal. I would never join with them. I would never know that honour.

But maybe Gallus would. Maybe Gallus was one of them. Maybe he was not lost after all.

Hesitantly, I looked across the lake, and began to speak.

'Gallus,' I said softly.

There was no reply except the rustling of wind as it stirred the leaves of the trees. I took a deep breath.

'Gallus,' I said again. 'Are you there?'

Silence.

'I know you're probably not there,' I continued, fixing my gaze on the stars. 'I know you probably can't hear me. But… there's things I need to say to you, and I can't keep them locked up inside me forever. So I'm going to say them now, just on the chance that you're really there, you're really listening, and you'll hear me.'

Was it my imagination, or did the shadows grow deeper, the night darker? 'There's three things,' I murmured, picking up a pebble from the shore and turning it over in my fingers. An image of him down by the shore on the other side of the lake, tossing a pebble into the centre of Masser's red reflection, stole into my mind and my throat tightened. I looked over the expanse of water and was just able to make out, on the other side of the island, a smudged blur of light. Riften. My home. My Guild were there somewhere, beneath those bustling, lamp-lit streets. They would be mourning Gallus. They would be making their plans about how they could find me. About how slowly and painfully they could kill me.

I swallowed. 'Three things,' I repeated. 'And I hope you can hear me, because they're going to be the three most important things I've ever said in my life.'

The trees whispered to each other. A cloud covered Secunda.

'The first thing is,' I said, gripping the pebble tightly in my hands, as if it were a lifeline, 'The first thing is, I love you. I have for a long time, and you know that, Gallus. And I always will love you. Even if I never see you again, I'll love you forever. That's a promise. I know you loved me, Gallus, and I hope and pray that you still do. I don't know where you are- whether you're in the Sepulchre or in the shadows or whether you're lost somewhere in the night- but I want you to know that I still love you and I will for the rest of my life and all of my death. I've never felt the same way about anyone as I do for you, and you know that. Maybe we will see each other again someday. But if we don't, then know this- I will always love you.'

I was not expecting a reply, and I received none, but for the sighing of the wind. It was a sad sound. It was as if even the breeze was mourning the death of the best man who ever lived.

'And the second thing I need to say is...' Just thinking the words made a sob rise up in my throat and break from my mouth. 'I'm sorry,' I cried, and the words echoed around the silence. 'I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.'

More silence, deep and lonely.

'I could have saved you,' I wept, my face buried in my hands. 'I would have saved you. I should have saved you.'

No answer.

'_I should have saved you!' _I screamed, and a startled bird took flight from the boughs of a nearby tree. Some dim memory at the back of my mind told me that it was a nightingale.

'I should have saved you,' I whispered. 'And I'm sorry. I should have known, I should have stopped him, I… I shouldn't have let you die. Forgive me, Gallus. Please. If you ever can.'

It made it better, a little, to say it aloud. Even if he was not listening, it eased some of the guilt I carried, to share all the love in my heart, to say all the things I needed to say. To say them loud and clear, for the whole world to listen to.

A little.

But not much.

'And the third thing…' I lifted my head and looked up at the stars. They were the same stars that had bathed us in their light that beautiful night all that time ago. They were constant, faithful, unfailing. I drew strength from the knowledge. 'The third thing is this. I will avenge you.'

I clenched my fists and repeated the words, letting them ring out clear and strong through the night. 'I _will _avenge you. I swear on my bow, and on my honour, and on all the love I have for you, Gallus, I will not rest until I have avenged your death. I don't care how long it takes, or how far I have to go, or what the cost might be. I. Will. Avenge. You.'

And even as I said it, I knew in my heart that it was true. I would avenge him. I would go to the end of the world if I had to. I would hear my bowstring sing and I would watch Mercer die. I would avenge the death of Gallus, or I would die trying.

It was not a pact with the Daedra, as my Nightingale Oath had been. But somehow it was a vow that seemed stronger than the Oath, a vow that was sworn from the very depths of my heart. And I knew that it would bind me forever.

I didn't try to stop my tears from coming, for what kind of a lover was I if I did not cry? I remember how, back in the Frozen Heart, I had wondered whether my tears were for Gallus or for myself. Now I knew they were for both of us. They were for me, left alone in a hostile world with no warm smiles or shining eyes to guide my way, nobody to love. They were for him, for my Gallus, his soul perhaps lost and unreachable, or else turned feral and wild. They were for the two of us, for the beautiful little world that existed when we were together. They were for the times we had shared, for all our laughter and smiles. They were for all the times that had been lost, the days that we would never see through together, the nights we would never spend wrapped in each other's arms. They were for the feeling of his lips meeting mine, for the warmth of our clasped hands, for all the moments we would never again share and the feelings that were dead forever. They were for the love that had been lost. They were for the future that had been so bright and had suddenly been plunged into darkness. They were for all the words that would never be said. They were for all the moments that would never be enjoyed. Maybe, even, they were for the children that would never be born.

I blinked and thought of my mother's kindness, her unfailing devotion to me. If all this had never come to pass, might I have chosen that path one day? Might I have some day borne Gallus's children?

Perhaps. Perhaps not. I did not know. And now I never would.

I slowly got to my feet. I think perhaps I had finally come to terms with the truth. I was an outcast now. I had nowhere to go. Gallus was gone, my friends were baying for my blood, and Nocturnal had forsaken me. I was truly alone now.

I turned my back on the lake, on my home, on my past life. Slowly, I made my way back towards where Dusk stood waiting, and mounted with a quiet sigh.

I turned my horse's head towards the woods, and he hesitantly moved forwards. I kicked him into a trot, and then into a canter, and by the time I reached the top of the rise that led away from the lake I was riding at a gallop among the amber-leaved trees.

We vanished into the darkness. And Karliah Indoril, member of the Thieves Guild, Nightingale of Nocturnal, was no more.

* * *

**This chapter is a little shorter than normal, but I didn't want to spoil it by adding anything else to it because I think it's nice as it is. Sorry about that. I'll try to make the next one longer. See you next chapter! :)**


	25. Outcast

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

_Twenty Four Years Later_

I was awoken by an eagle's cry.

My eyes snapped open instantly, and my ears angled instinctively towards the sound as it ripped through the cold air. The wild, fierce call sent a shiver through me. In my mind's eye, I could see the bird spreading its wings and lifting away from the crag where it perched, soaring up, free and happy, into a clear, bright sky. In that moment, as its screech faded away, I wanted to nothing more than spread wings of my own and take off into the heavens, to leave behind the world of mortals and all the pain and anger and hatred and suffering that dwelt in it.

But I had no wings. No freedom.

I lay in my shelter for a few seconds, listening to the chirrups of birds and the sound of trees swaying in the wind, trying to work out the time. From the sound of birdsong, and the bright light falling through the walls of my tent, it must be early morning. I let out a short gasp. I'd slept too long.

I leaped to my feet and ran outside. I was right- the great golden circle of the sun had just lifted itself above the horizon. The sky was swamped with thick, woolly clouds, clearly laden with snow. The dew on the trees had frozen, and some bore icicles on their branches. The air was thick with mist and cold, cold that instantly chilled me right down to the bone. I shivered, wishing I had something warmer to wear than my Guild armour. Years of wear and tear had done little to make it cold resistant.

A songbird chirruped in a tree above me, and burst into song. I knew that song well. Twenty five years in the wild had made me alert to the ways of nature. It was the song of a male proclaiming the coming of the morning. And it was the dead of winter. The birds woke with the sun, and the sun woke later and later in the day. It must be at least seven o'clock. I'd definitely slept too long. Sleeping too long was dangerous- it put you at risk. Wolves. Bandits. Bears. Sabre cats. The occasional Frostbite spider, in this, the northern part of Skyrim. I'd been lucky. Nothing had found me. But I shouldn't have put myself at risk. I should have slept lightly and for a few hours at most. That was what was safest. But I'd been asleep the whole night. Deeply, too. How could I have been so foolish?

I would have to get moving. Quickly. I'd learned from bitter experience never to stay in the same place for too long. I started to run through the list of tasks I'd have to do before I could leave. One- dismantle my shelter. Make it look like no one had ever been there. If I were to leave traces, it could be my death. This first task was simple- my tent was nothing more than a bear's pelt strapped to a few poles. I ducked inside and pulled out my sleeping bag- if a few sewn-together horse hides make a sleeping bag- rolled it up, and set it aside. Then I set about pulling my shelter apart. In less than a minute- years of practice had made me swift at this task- my camp was no more than another clearing in the forest, with no sign of ever having been approached by a mortal, except for the charred black patch where I'd lit a fire last night. Tired as I had been, I must have forgotten to cover it. I quickly kicked some snow over the ashes until it was invisible. Now not a trace of me remained but for the footprints in the snow.

Well, that couldn't be helped. And it looked like there was more snow on the way. I paused for a moment, eyeing the large, thick cloud that was slowly making its way over the mountains. The wind was blowing in my direction. That meant the snow cloud would pass over here soon. With luck, that would cover any traces I had left. Next task. Gather equipment. That also wasn't hard, as there was hardly any of it. Bow. Quiver. Dagger. The satchel that contained my herbs and potions. A needle and thread. The piece of steel and shard of flint I used for lighting fires. I tucked my bed roll into my pack, which apart from the remnants of my tent, was empty. And that was it. Those were all the things I possessed.

Still. They weren't much, admittedly, but then again, they were all I needed. And I had survived so far, hadn't I? I had survived, and I would go on surviving. Because that was what my life was about now. Surviving.

From the moment I woke up every morning, I had no other goal but to still be alive at the end of the day. At first, it had been difficult. The first few months had been the hardest. Never before had I been so utterly lost, so completely alone. I had been homeless, helpless, friendless. Constantly hungry, constantly exhausted, constantly afraid. So many times I had come within an inch of death- be it by starvation, dehydration, exposure, or in battle with bandits or predators. But I had learned something about myself during the beginning of my life as an exile. I was an indomitable survivor.

The will to live was strong enough within me to see me through, every time. Over those first months, it had urged me to see the glint of sunlight on water up ahead just as I had been ready to die of thirst. I had given me the strength to keep fighting the bear that wanted nothing more than to feast on my flesh, even though my bowstring had been broken and my knife blunt as a piece of wood. It had seen me through blizzards and storms, floods and wildfire. It had kept me going, despite everything. Despite all the hardship. Despite all the suffering. Despite all the pain I had been carrying in my heart…

_No. Don't think about that. Don't think about him. _

I swung my pack over my shoulder and turned to face the rising sun. I walked a little way towards its shining face, before turning back and taking in the clearing, examining every inch of it meticulously. I didn't think I'd left any traces, but you could never be too careful. Luckily, though, I had done a good job, and even now the snow was beginning to fall, filling in my footsteps.

I nodded appreciatively and picked a random direction, walking off into the gently swaying pine trees. I dug my hand into my pocket and pulled out the remainder of last night's meal- a few nuts. Not much, but enough to keep me going until I found something more substantial.

My senses, as always, were on full alert now, keeping watch for enemies and for prey at the same time. I was searching for food now, despite having only just woken. That was how my days went. They were regular as clockwork. That was best. It meant there was little to surprise me, and I didn't have to be constantly trying to work out what to do next. My routine was simple. Wake up. Clear camp. Get moving. Find food. Eat. Keep moving. Find food again. Find a safe place to stay the night. Make camp. Build a fire, if it was safe to do so. Eat. Put out the fire. Sleep. And that was the way things were.

It might seem strange that most of the day was consumed by the acquisition of food. But it was harder than it seemed, especially in the Pale, where I was now. Finding prey meant hours of tracking, stalking, and hunting. And then, of course, there was the matter of finding the right sort of prey. Rabbits, birds, fish and, if I was really desperate, squirrels were about perfect. Occasionally I'd risk stealing a chicken from some farm, though I avoided this as often as I could. I could never eat the whole bird, and it keeping the meat fresh was an uphill struggle. What was more, kill a chicken, and for some reason the people of whatever town you'd killed it in acted like you'd murdered a beloved child. What I avoided like Rockjoint was taking down big kills, like deer or elk. There was just no point. To be sure, it was tempting, but it was useless. There was no way of using up all that meat, and the scent of such a big carcass attracted predators.

I tramped on through the snow, casting my eyes around for any hint of prey. One of the things my mother had repeatedly drummed into me as a child was that the land told a story. It kept a diary of all the animals that passed through it, in the form of what trackers called 'sign' – any indication of an animal's presence. Scat. Prints. Hairs caught on thorns. Right now, all I could see was snow. Unsurprising, really. This was the worst sort of place for prey. Quite apart from the thick layer of snow, pine forests had little undergrowth and poor cover for animals. I stopped and thought. I wasn't too far away from the Pale's border with Whiterun. If I travelled south, I would come to the places where the snow vanished, and prey was far more plentiful. I turned to the nearest tree. Moss only grew on the north side of trees, so whichever side was opposite the mossy one would be facing south. Within seconds, I had changed direction, and was travelling with my back to the mountains of the north.

It wasn't long before I knew that I had made the right decision. As the whiteness began to thin around me, I found a trail leading through the snow, made by some animal pushing through it. The only question was what sort of animal it was. Various species used trails like this one. I dug my hands beneath the snow and grabbed a handful of the pine needles that lay beneath. I breathed in their scent, and picked up the musky smell of a fox. Cursing under my breath, I got to my feet and carried on. A fox run was no use to me.

A few minutes later, I crouched down again to examine a patch of vegetation that had been clipped by an animal's teeth. This time, I allowed myself a small smile. The stems had been clipped at an angle, a clear sign of some sort of rodent. It could be just a vole or wood mouse, but I hoped it was a rabbit or hare. That would make a good meal.

Further on, I caught sight of a hole in the trunk of a tree. I scraped aside the half-melted snow beneath it, revealing something dark and sticky, made of bones and hair. An owl pellet. Owls regurgitated what they couldn't digest of their meals. Examining their pellets was an easy way to find out what prey the land offered. To my delight, I was able to identify a rabbit bone among this one. I was getting close.

And finally, about an hour before midday, I discovered what every tracker seeks above all other form of sign. Tracks. A trail of pawprints in the snow.

Tracks tell you about an animal more than anything else. The size, the shape, the pattern of the steps. I bent down until I could see them properly. I knew what had made them instantly, from the small size, the style of the print, and the way it was moving. It had been running at a gallop, with the front paws falling first, then the hind feet coming through and landing a little way ahead. Most rodents ran in this way, but the giveaway was the fact that the front feet had landed at a diagonal, the mark of a ground-living creature. Tree dwellers such as squirrels landed with their front feet together. No, judging from the pattern, size and shape, there was only one animal that could have made these tracks. 'Rabbit,' I said in satisfaction, and got to my feet and followed them, making my steps as light and silent as I could.

I knew when I had found the right place. It was in a small, grassy clearing, mostly devoid of snow. The plants were cropped short, and the ground was littered with rabbit scat. Most animals only left scat in places they felt safe. The fact that it was here in plentiful supply meant that the creatures frequented this place. I tested the air, making sure I was downwind, so that it would be harder for them to smell me. I pulled my bow from my shoulder, notched an arrow to it, and sat down on a tree stump a little way away from the clearing to wait.

I had to wait some time. In cold weather like this, most rabbits would be in their burrows, sheltering. But they would have to come up for food sometime. All I had to do was wait until then.

The sun was very nearly at its zenith before I saw a flash of brown fur moving in the bushes. I pulled back my arrow slowly and carefully, making my movements steadily. There was a moment's pause, then the rabbit hopped forwards into the clearing, revealing its whole body. I didn't hesitate for a second before releasing my bowstring. The arrow snapped through the air and into the soft brown form. It collapsed instantly, dead before it had time to run or squeal. I saw white tails bobbing away in a mad, panicked dash as the creature's fellows took flight, and smiled to myself. Today was one day I would not go hungry.

Well, it was one day I would not get as hungry as usual. I hadn't eaten a proper meal since the day it happened.

I took the limp body and tied it to my belt. I would have to put some distance between this place and myself before I could stop and eat. I set off again, heading into the densest part of the wood, knowing that this would be the safest place to make a fire. It was a risky business, fire making in the wilderness. It was all too easy for the smoke to give you away. Still, I was in the middle of one of the most remote parts of the land, and the rabbit wasn't going to cook itself. Most days I would have taken the time to build a fire pit, which would hide the flames and release minimal smoke- but quite apart from the fact that there would probably be nobody around for miles, digging a hole in the frozen-solid ground would have been a near impossibility. I would just have to risk it. Anyway, I could defend myself against anything that might come.

Probably. Hopefully.

I knew I'd found the right place when I reached a slope, a depression in the ground. It was almost as if one of the Divines had scooped a lump out from the hillside. It was a near perfect place- the slopes surrounding it meant that the smoke would be less visible. What was more, it was in an area where the trees were thin, and the snow was thin enough to not pose a problem. I made my way down to the bottom and began gathering firewood- first small twigs and dead leaves, then slightly larger bits of wood, then finally large chunks. I pushed aside the small kindling and pulled out the flint pebble and the piece of steel that were all I would need to set it alight. It was almost failsafe- this was a method that would nearly always work even in the coldest and wettest of condition. I kept my ears pricked for danger as I knelt down, holding my fire starting equipment over the little heap of twigs. I brought the steel and flint smashing into each other, sending up a shower of sparks and a loud _clink. _Several times I repeated the action, until finally the sparks settled on the brushwood and built up into a glow. I tossed aside my tools and bent down, blowing on the glow until it leaped into a tiny golden flame. I quickly started laying the larger bits of wood over the top, followed by the logs. I let out a sigh of contentment as the warmth began to rise up from the blaze and into the freezing air.

Now the trickier and far less enjoyable task of skinning and preparing the rabbit carcass began, but years of practice, along with the mentoring I had been given from my mother, had made me swift at this task. It took only a few minutes, by which time the fire had built up well enough to be ready to cook with. It wasn't too big, either. Cooking over a ridiculously huge blaze was both idiotic and impossible.

I turned my back on the fire and jogged up the slope towards where the trees began again. I quickly found two sticks of similar size that ended in forks, and a slightly longer, thicker one. I brought them back down to the fire and crushed snow onto them. This would make it harder for the fire to catch them. I pushed the two forked sticks down into the ground on either side of the fire, with the v-shapes pointing up. I pulled my knife from my belt, sharpened the end of the third branch, and impaled the rabbit meat on it, before gently and carefully balancing on top of the other sticks, over the fire.

I gave a satisfied smile. Everything had gone as smoothly as cream. Now all I had to do was wait for it to cook. One of the most fundamental rules of lone survival was never, never to eat undercooked meat. It could, and often would, be deadly.

But for once in my life, the Gods were being kind.

Seeing as there was enough meat on the animal to last the day, I decided to make my camp here for the night. It was sheltered, and the thick curtain of trees hid it from prying eyes. The ground was mostly soft and free of stones and branches, making for a reasonably comfortable place to sleep. It was on a slight slope, too, meaning that if the snow melted, I wouldn't be sleeping in a pond. I stood up and stayed still for a moment, until I had established the wind direction. It was essential to pitch my tent with the entrance facing the wind. Since it was open at both the front and the back, the first strong gust was less likely to knock it over. Back when I had first been exiled, I had done the opposite, trying to avoid the cold wind. But after numerous collapsed tents, I'd finally learned my lesson. I hardly felt the cold any more, anyway.

By the time I had pitched my shelter, my meal was finally ready. I tested it carefully for any traces of raw meat before daring to eat. I relaxed a little as I felt myself gaining strength with every bite. _No matter what hardships I face_, I thought, _no matter how bleak the horizon may be, no matter how much I feel like giving up, I will survive. I owe it to him to survive._

I tossed away a few bones and picked up my quiver, counting my arrows as I ate. I had plenty left, though I would need to make some more soon. I laid them aside and checked the rest of my gear. I had to make sure everything was in good condition, all the time. My bed roll had a hole in it. I'd need to patch that up. And my knife needed sharpening. Well, I'd do that this evening. I had plenty of time before it got dark.

The sun began to sink slowly on the horizon as I got to work. It was calming, sitting there beside the warmth of my fire, quietly mending my equipment. It allowed me to focus solely on the task at hand, and stop caring about the rest of the world. After all, the rest of the world was getting rather… excitable… recently, and I preferred to not be a part of it.

I didn't see other people much. I seldom strayed onto the roads, and I never entered towns or villages. Anyone, anyone at all, might have the nerve and the knowledge to betray me to the Guild. I didn't know for sure, but I was pretty certain they thought I was dead, either from my injury at Mercer's hands or as a result of my life as an outcast. I couldn't resist a derisive snort. If they truly thought that, they didn't know me. It would take more than a knife wound and a lack of shelter and friendship to kill me. Still, I was happy with them thinking it. I was safest if they thought it. So I rarely saw anyone, and even more rarely spoke to them.

But if I did meet someone - a travelling trader, perhaps, or a roving hunter – the talk was always of the recent events in Skyrim. There was no doubt that it had been an interesting few years. The questions, the conversations, they were always the same. _Did you hear about what happened at Helgen? They say a dragon attacked Whiterun- a real, live dragon. Have you heard the news? The Dragonborn has come to Skyrim at last! Kynesgrove, do you know what happened at Kynesgrove? The Dragonborn's arranged a peace between the Imperials and the Stormcloaks, until the dragon problem is over. How long do you reckon they'll last before they're at each other's throats again? _And finally, always spoken with delight and excitement- _The Dragonborn has triumphed! Alduin has fallen! Skyrim is free!_

To be perfectly honest, I couldn't possibly have cared less. Dragons rarely bothered me and I never bothered them. Leave it to people with suicidal death wishes, and those with destinies given by Akatosh to fight them. I had no desire to.

But that wasn't all. _The Emperor! Have you heard what happened to the Emperor? He's dead, murdered! The Dark Brotherhood is back, really back. At first it was thought the Stormcloaks were behind it, but the Brotherhood was alone, apparently. Can you believe it?_

I could well believe it. I'd had to deal with the Dark Brotherhood a few times during my time with the Guild. So, the Emperor was dead. Like it was important. It didn't affect me. Nothing in the outside world affected me. I lived in my own protective shell, a little world of my own that was made for me only and shut out everything else. That was easiest. That was best. That way, nothing could hurt me.

I looked down at the dagger I was sharpening, and a vague memory flitted across my mind of the man who gave it to me.

_Stop, Karliah. Don't think about him. Shut out the memories. They don't matter. All that matters is that you stay alive._

A moment later, the walls were back in place, shutting out all the pain and fear and hurt and anger and even the happiness of the world that I no longer belonged to.

Because I didn't need any of it, and I didn't want any of it. I never would want any of it. This was my life now.

I looked up. Night was drawing in. I shuddered despite myself. I was not, of course, afraid of the dark. No self-respecting thief could be afraid of the dark. I loved the dark. It hid me, it guided me, it sheltered me. The dark was my friend. It always had been. It always would be. I wasn't afraid of the night.

I was afraid of what came with the night.

And I didn't mean predators.

The fire burned low; the sun burned still lower. I ate the remainder of the rabbit and kicked snow over the fire, sending up clouds of white steam and black smoke. The embers glowed for a few more seconds and faded to black. The light shifted from blue to indigo, and I knew that I had to get some sleep.

_Lightly, _I reminded myself. _You slept too deeply last night. You put yourself in danger._

I nodded, as if another person had been speaking to me and I was indicating that I had heard. I unfolded my newly-repaired sleeping bag and checked for danger a final time.

All clear. I could sleep. Little as I wanted to, I had to.

I didn't want to close my eyes. I didn't want to let sleep take me.

It wasn't just because I was afraid of sleeping too long. It wasn't just because I didn't want to put myself at risk from wolves and bears and bandits. It wasn't just because I wanted to keep moving, to make sure I was safe in my closed-off world.

It was because I knew what came with the night.

It was because when I slept, the walls came down.

It was because when darkness fell, my past returned to haunt me.

I closed my eyes. Fatigue pulled me down. I fought to stay awake. No use.

Darkness took me. And the nightmares began.

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**Did I overdo the survival tips? I don't know. Obviously I had to do some research to write this chapter, and it was so fascinating I almost forgot to write… anyway, I wanted to show, through the way Karliah's constantly listing the ways she survives, how far she's gone from who she used to be, and how she's currently only focused on staying alive. (note the 'currently,' because it's not staying that way…) Anyway, I hope she taught you guys something, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter! There'll be a bit more action in the next ones.**


	26. Dream

**By the Divines, guys! SEVENTY REVIEWS! You guys have made me sooo happy. And I don't know about you, but I think I write better when I'm happy. **

**So, because I'm bouncing up and down with glee right now, I'll give you the next chapter! **

* * *

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

I was falling.

I was falling through darkness, through light, through darkness again. I was falling through a whirlpool of colour that shifted and changed and swirled and glowed brighter than a thousand suns. I was falling through blackness, profound, impenetrable blackness, dark as ebony and deep as the sea. I fell past stars, past moons, past suns and worlds. I fell through the emptiness of space, and into the merciless hands of my nightmares.

They brought me happiness first. They always did. It was always, always the same. They tempted me, with the light and the warmth and the joy, tempted me to believe that it had never happened, that he was still with me.

And then they pulled me back down into darkness and despair.

But it always began with happiness, and so it did again tonight.

Someone was singing. Perhaps it was me.

_Here amid the summer silence, let me stand and close my eyes…_

Yes, it was me. It was my song, my mother's song. All around me, pine thrushes perched on golden trees, whistling it back to me. Countless voices echoed around the mountains, until the whole land was overflowing with the sound. I felt joy burning in my heart, but I knew it would not last.

The sun was rising above the mountains, bright and golden, flooding the land with shimmering light. Suddenly it was as if I had the wings of a nightingale, and I was flying up, rising into the sky to meet the sun. I watched the land falling away beneath me, the trees shrinking, the mountains dwindling and fading away, and suddenly I was alone in a clear blue sky.

My song grew louder.

No. I was not singing louder, but it seemed to, for another was riding up on the wings of the wind to meet me. A voice rich and deep and velvety joined mine, and together, we danced through the heavens.

The song changed.

_Can you see the birds, dancing in the heavens?_

_Let us go and join them, spread our wings and fly…_

We were there, there in the sky, obeying the command of our song.

It would not last. The part of me that was still awake told me that soon, all too soon, the song of joy would end, and bitter sorrow would replace it.

I had dreamed these dreams so many, many times. Almost every night for twenty four years and seven months. I knew how they went. I knew their tricks and their hidden weapons.

I knew that every morning, I would awaken with my heart broken a little bit more.

Snow began to fall. I was no longer flying, but standing alone. Alone beneath white clouds, on white ground, among white-coated houses. And graves. Gravestones dusted with shining white.

I heard him. And I heard my own voice replying. I did not need to listen to know what we say to each other. I had dreamed this so many times.

But no matter what it was I said, the words flowed so easily. I could talk to him in a way I had never found myself able to talk to anyone before, but for the person whose grave we stood before. I could tell him what was in my heart, and I could trust him with the knowledge.

He turned his head towards me, and I saw him smile.

Just for a moment, my fear of what was to come melted away. Because maybe I could endure all the nightmares that Vaermina, mistress of evil dreams, was inflicting upon me, for the sake of seeing his smile again.

But then the scene changed, and that smile was gone, and my fears returned.

Why did it always have to be like this? Why couldn't the past stay in the past? Why did these memories have to return?

Windhelm. I saw it again, as I saw it all those years ago, cold and grey and menacing. At the gates, the guards blocked our path. One jeered at me, uttering the words that incense my companion. As I watched him lunge forward, I once again felt shock and amazement, and, beneath them both, a flash of gratitude. Gratitude and… pleasure. Pleasure that he had defended me with such ferocity.

Again, the world shifted around me. 'Guards!' roared the man who stood next to us, the man who had just bee rudely awoken by a certain Imperial dropping from the window of the house next to us and landing on top of him. I glanced at my Guildmaster, and mischief sparkled in his eyes as he took hold of my hand. 'Run!' he grinned, and we did.

And suddenly we had returned to our home. _Home. _The word had so nearly lost meaning for me, after all this time. But this was a place I would always know as my home. Here in the Flagon, with my Guild around me.

I saw the bright gleam of gold. I felt the coldness of the coins as we counted them. And I felt his hand, so soft, so warm, as he squeezed it, gently, kindly, lovingly. Smiling.

Gods. That voice. Those eyes. That smile.

Even in my dreams, I never saw or heard him clearly. Every night, my longing to see his face and hear his laughter grew worse and worse. That was why I tried so hard to fight off these nightmares.

But it was a battle impossible to win.

The dream changed, the world blurring around me. Now I was back in a place I know well. I saw two skies stretching ahead of me, as far as I could see. Both black and filled with stars. One was above me, the other was reflected in the shimmering drift of water in front of me. Calm, peaceful, filled with magic.

I was back where I belonged.

By the lake. By his side.

Though it was a dream, I felt the warmth of his hand in mine. I heard the soft murmur of his voice. I heard my own voice as I raised it in song.

_Let us take to the skies above, on the wings we've been lent by love…_

I saw his tears of joy, and I felt my heart glowing within me.

But I knew what was coming next.

And I was right.

The darkness of the night shuddered and trembled, becoming a different sort of darkness completely. The darkness of a tomb. The darkness of a place of death.

A place of death… where three living souls stood alone in the darkness.

And I heard it again. The words from Oblivion.

_'I think you know why I brought you here.'_

_'Yes, I know why. I hoped I was wrong.'_

_'Then if you knew, it was rather unwise to come.'_

_'Like I said, Mercer. I had hope.'_

_'Hope? Hope for what?'_

_'Hope for you, old friend.'_

'He isn't your friend!' I cried out the words, though I knew he could not hear me. 'You can't trust him! He's gone beyond your help! He's going to kill you! You have to run!'

I don't know why I cried out these words every time. Perhaps I hoped that someday, he would hear, and he would live.

A false hope is the cruellest hope of all.

_'Hope that I might have been wrong.' _His voice was so sorrowful it pained me to listen._ 'And even though it seems I am not wrong, I hoped that I might at least be able to make you see that what you've done, what you're doing, what you're going to do- you can't do it, Mercer.'_

'He can! And he will!' I was running forwards until I stood next to him. 'Run!'

But he either does not listen, or does not hear.

_'You know why we're here,'_ the traitor hissed.

_'Please, Mercer. Please. This isn't you. You're a good man. A brave man. My friend.'_

_'Not anymore.'_

_'If I can't persuade you to stop this for your own sake, or for my sake, or for her sake, then do it for the Guild. You've always been loyal to the Guild.'_

_'Not anymore.'_

_'Mercer, Nocturnal won't forgive you for this. She has mercy- but she abhors betrayal above all else. If you go through with this, you will never be forgiven. She will kill you. Have you no respect left for her?'_

_'Not anymore.'_

_'Mercer-'_

_'I said enough.'_

And I watched yet again, as his blade cut the air. I watched yet again, as the man I loved more than my life and my honour cried out and fell. I watched yet again as his blood flowed out onto the stones.

I heard my own voice, shouting his name, again and again and again.

And I heard his reply. _'Karliah!'_

And then, just like that, he was gone. Gone forever. Gone beyond all reach.

Gone from me.

I closed my eyes.

And then I opened them again. Something was not right. This wasn't how it went. I always woke up, after this. Always. I watched him die, and then my own cries awoke me.

But I was still dreaming. I knew I was still dreaming, however real it seemed. How was I still dreaming? And why?

I frowned, and as I did so I realised I was not alone. There was someone standing a little way in front of me, in the inky darkness, someone dressed in Thieves Guild armour. I took a few steps forward, until I stood next to them. The darkness nearly obscured their features, but suddenly their head was turned towards me, and their eyes were burning into mine. It was a Khajiit, a young female, with silky grey fur and eyes the colour of fire. She was small, yet she radiated confidence and dominance, and when she spoke, there was a power in her voice that made me tremble.

She said three words, in a soft voice that seemed louder than thunder.

'Seek for me,' she said.

Then she blinked out of sight, simply vanished, and the scene changed again. As the sound of her words faded away, I heard a loud bellow tear through the air, as if some mighty beast were roaring.

I blinked as the sound echoed into silence, and turned slowly, taking in the place where I now stood. Some sort of temple. The walls were old, crumbling in some places. They were high, and the ceiling was swathed in shadows. In fact, shadows clustered the whole place, deep and dark and ominous.

As I looked around, trying to work out where I could be, I caught a flash of movement behind me. I turned. There was a figure standing alone nearby, a figure that was translucent glowing blue. I was about to think _ghost_, but someway on the way to my mind the word became _spirit, _and that in turn warped so that by the time I was finally putting a name to the luminous figure, it was neither ghost nor spirit but _sentinel._

I stepped forwards, and my footsteps echoed off the walls. I waited for the sentinel- for that was the only word I could put with it- to hear them and turn around, but it did not. So, as before, I was unseen and unheard.

But wait. That figure. I knew it. The height, the build, the shape, the armour-

Gods, I knew who this was.

But how…

How could this be?

'Karliah,' said the spirit of the man I had once loved more than my whole world.

'Gallus?' I whispered, hardly able to believe it. 'Gallus, is that you?'

He did not even so much as turn his head. Even when I stood right in front of him, he looked right through me. I stared at him, trying to find some trace of the man I remembered in him, but I could not. His hood and mask hid his face, and I could not see his eyes.

_How could this be?_

This was a dream! How could I see him if this was a dream?

He sighed. I felt myself trembling at the sound. 'Karliah,' he said again. 'Gods, I miss you.'

He sat down on the steps, blue mist clustering around him. 'I know you're not here, but it makes things better to speak to you, even if you can't hear me. I don't know how long it's been since I last saw you,' he murmured. 'Twenty years, twenty five… it makes no difference, really. You're still gone. I've been alone for such a long time. It feels like forever.'

'I know!' I blurted out the words. 'Gallus, it's been so long. Too long.'

He did not answer. How could he not hear me? Why could he not hear me?

'I'm sorry, Karliah.' He shivered.'It's my fault that this happened. All of this happened because of me.'

'No, it didn't.' I was staring right at him, but still, he did not see me. 'It was my fault, Gallus. It was mine.'

'I should have told you my suspicions. Please don't think I didn't trust you. I just didn't want to put you in any danger.' He gave a mirthless laugh. 'And of course, by doing so, I put you in more danger than I could possibly have foreseen.'

'You didn't know. Gallus, please, it wasn't you.'

His voice was choked with tears. 'Oh, Karliah, can you ever forgive me?'

'What for?' I shouted the words. 'It's you who should be forgiving me!'

Was I really only dreaming this? Or had I somehow entered the Twilight Sepulchre? For that was where I was, I was sure. But was this real, or only a dream?

'I don't know what's happened to you, my Karliah. You may be alive. I don't know. Gods above, you don't know how much I pray that you're alive. But I know that you're probably gone. Lost somewhere in the dark, just another victim of Mercer's treachery.' He buried his face in his hands.

'No, Gallus! I'm here. I'm alive.' I reached out, trying to take his hand, to touch him, to make sure he knew I was there, but my hand passed right through him. 'I survived, Gallus. I wouldn't have let him find me. Please, Gallus. Why can't you hear me?'

'They're gone, most of them. The others. The other sentinels.' Gallus let out a long sigh. 'Lost. Unreachable. They don't remember themselves, Karliah. They've forgotten their Oaths, their names, their identities. I'm the only one still truly here. The only guardian.'

'Oh, Gods, Gallus.' I felt tears threatening me. 'I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.'

'It's getting worse, you know. Every day, I think I fade a little more. It won't be long now. Soon I'll have lost everything. I'll be one of them.'

I found it impossible to speak.

'Are you one of them?' He let out a soft sob. 'Are you one of them, Karliah? Have you lost your bindings to Nirn, forgotten who you are? Have you forgotten me?' He drew in a long, shuddering breath. 'I can bear all this… this waiting. Waiting for either someone to deliver me from this torment, or to simply forget myself and the world and become one of _them. _But I can't stand thinking that I'll forget you. Because you mean more to be than anything else. And I know that…' He paused, and though I couldn't see his face, I knew that he was biting his lip. 'I know that if you are one of them, then you'll have forgotten me, my little Nightingale.'

'No! Gallus, no!' My eyes widened in shock and horror. 'I wouldn't forget you, Gallus! How could I forget you? I couldn't forget you, I won't, I-'

And then I stopped. My heart was racing so hard I almost thought it was about to burst from my chest. My words echoed around the Sepulchre, as if taunting me.

_I wouldn't forget you, Gallus._ That was what I had said.

And I had lied.

I felt myself backing away from him. He was saying something else now, but I could not hear it. All I could hear was the blood pounding in my ears.

'No,' I whispered. 'No. No, no, no! Please, no!'

Silence.

'NO!' I cried, and the word jerked me without warning from the land of dreams, back into the world of the living. The cry still echoed in my ears as my eyes snapped open, and I knew that I had shouted it aloud. Instantly I felt the cold of the snow, saw the darkness of the night, heard my own, panicked gasps mingling with my shout of denial.

I scrambled out of my sleeping bag so hastily that I opened up the rip I had spent the evening repairing. My hands flung aside my gear, rummaging through my equipment for one item. I saw a flash of black and silver, and snatched it up. My dagger, the dagger he had pressed into my hand that night on New Life festival, lay in my hands, the moonlight glittering on the blade. I ran my hand down its smooth, shining surface, and my fingers traced the Nightingale mark engraved in silver at the base. A cloud drifted across one of the moons, dappling the symbol in a way that almost made it look like it was moving, ruffling its feathers, about to take flight into the jet-black sky.

'No,' I whispered again, staring at the blade.

But I could still hear my words, ringing in my head. I could almost taste them on my tongue. And in that moment, I knew that no matter how many times I said no, the answer would always, always be yes.

The dagger dropped from my hands, falling to the ground with a tiny thud. I stared at it without seeing it, my eyes wide with horror.

'What have I done?' My voice sounded so small, so weak. 'Gods. Gallus. _What have I done?'_

I didn't need to ask the question of myself. I already knew the answer. I had done something terrible. I had done something I had promised not to do.

I had not forgotten Gallus. That much had been true. But I had done something worse.

I had forgotten that I loved him.

A single tear fell from my eye, splashing onto the black and silver blade.

Twenty four years. Twenty four years in exile. I had thought I had survived. But I hadn't.

These years had not strengthened me. They had destroyed me.

I had forgotten. How could I forget? I had all but forgotten the sound of his voice, the warmness in his eyes. I had forgotten why I was surviving. I had forgotten those oaths I had made on the day I had been exiled, those oaths I had meant to keep forever.

_I love you,_ I had told him. _I'm sorry. And I will avenge you._

I had forgotten the first, and I had destroyed the third. I had not avenged him. For twenty four years, I'd simply… endured.

I had forgotten I loved him, and in doing so, I had forgotten myself.

I sank down onto my knees and wept.

I don't know how long I stayed there for. I simply cried and cried, until I had no more tears left. And even then I did not move, but stayed staring at his gift to me, hatred for myself burning inside me.

I had betrayed him. It was the simple truth. He had trusted me. He had loved me. And in that one dream, a dream I wasn't even certain was real, I had finally seen the truth of what I had done.

I got to my feet. I picked up the dagger and slipped it into its sheath. I swung my bow and quiver over my shoulder and started to pack up my tent. And as I did so, I whispered under my breath.

'Gallus,' I said, 'I dreamed of you tonight. I think it was real. I think somehow my mind found its way to the Sepulchre. And I don't know how, but I saw you there, and you made me realise something I've been trying to avoid for twenty four years.'

I rolled up my sleeping bag and shoved it into my pack. 'I realised that I had forgotten you, my love. Or if I had not, I had forgotten what we shared together. All these years, I've been telling myself to survive, but I couldn't remember why I had to survive. Couldn't remember, or didn't want to know.'

I shouldered my pack. 'I swear to you now- and this is an oath that I will keep- it will never happen again. I'll not forget you again. After all this time, you've not forgotten me, and I…' I swallowed. 'I hate myself, Gallus, for having forgotten you. But now I am going to make it right. I am.'

My hands clenched into fists. 'I don't know how I'm going to do it. But somehow, I'm going to put an end to this. I'm going to right all the wrongs Mercer has done to us for good. I'm going to return to the Guild and tell them the truth. I'm going to make Mercer pay. I will find the Key and return it to the Sepulchre. I will put your spirit at rest.'

I turned my back on my old camp, not bothering to check to see if I had left traces. I no longer cared.

I had no plan, no home, no friends. I had no family, nobody to trust, and no place I could go safely. But there was something I still did have, and that was my love for Gallus. After twenty four years, I remembered it again, and now I was going to make the one who had come so close to destroying it pay with his blood.

As I disappeared among the trees, the sun rose above the mountains. It shone bright and amber, just like the eyes of the Khajiit from my dream. And as the wind whistled around me, I could almost hear it whispering three words in my ears.

_Seek for me. Seek for me. Seek for me…_

* * *

**My OC will be making her entrance before long. You got a sneak peak at her here. I'd like to point out now that once we get into in-game events, not all the dialogue will be completley accurate to the game. I hope nobody minds this, but I decided to change a few things slightly, because sometimes my character wouldn't say the scripted things, and I don't want to ruin her character by having her saying things that don't suit her. The in-game events, however, will be the same.**

**So, I hope you liked this chapter. I'll be getting the next one up as soon as I can. Thanks for reading! :D**


	27. Trap

CHAPTER TWENTY SIX

The sun was rising over Solitude.

Solitude has always been one of my favourite cities. I'm not entirely sure why. I think maybe it's something to do with the fact that the city guard there is a pushover. Once, I was careless enough to allow myself to be caught whilst carrying so much stolen goods it was a struggle to move. All I had to do was to shove a gold necklace into my captor's hands and raise my eyebrow slightly. No more problem.

It wasn't like that in a lot of places. Markarth, for example. The Markarth city guard is, without a doubt, the most bad-tempered one in Skyrim. Probably something to do with having to defend the city against Forsworn so often. But the city guards in Solitude were- there was no way around it- a bunch of incompetent fools. And today, I thought with a smirk, they were not going to know what had hit them.

There was no denying that I was uneasy as I stepped through the gates. This was the first time in twenty four years I'd been inside a city- inside any settlement at all, in fact. The risk had always been too high. But now, after a month of careful planning, I was ready to take that risk. I knew where I was going. I knew what I was doing. I knew who I was trying to find.

My plan was simple. I knew how to get Mercer to do what I wanted. I knew how he thought. I knew full well that he hoped I was dead. Because I was the only witness to his treachery, and his security depended on there being no witnesses.

He wanted me dead. And that was my plan.

I was going to set a trap so subtle and deadly that nobody except Mercer would understand it. Nobody except Mercer would rise to the bait. And nobody except Mercer would walk into the trap.

He would not be walking out of it again.

And the bait? I was the bait. The one and only witness to his crime. If he had a chance to kill me, however slim, he would take it. No matter what the dangers were, he would risk them for a chance to end my life. And I knew that. I knew that he would come.

I would have him exactly where I wanted him. Snared like a skeever.

I knew where I wanted him to be. The only question was how to get him there.

But by careful scouring of the criminal underworld, listening to the rumours of the brigands and mercenaries I met along my way, and weeks of planning, plotting and preparation, I had finally answered that question. I had to lure him in a way that would arouse Mercer's suspicion, but no one else's. And how? That was easy. By exploiting a secret that only Mercer and I knew.

That of the Nightingales.

I smiled to myself. There was no way this could fail.

All right. There were plenty of ways it could fail. But I wasn't going to let any of them happen.

Nobody who looked at me as I passed through the streets gave me a second glance. I'd dressed in civilian clothes, and my Guild armour was tucked away inside my bag. I looked for all the world like any other law-abiding citizen. The only problem was my eyes. If anyone who was involved too closely with the Guild got a proper look at them… But I'd managed to find a way around that, too. By a stroke of luck, the weather was still icy cold, and most people were going around in gloves, scarves and hats. I'd managed to get my hands on a hat which, if I pulled it down low enough, cast a shadow over my eyes so that it was hard to make out their colour. Anyway, I wasn't planning on making eye contact with anyone- except for one person.

I couldn't help but smile as I made my way over to a corner of the marketplace. After all these years of running and hiding, I was finally fighting back. I was about to start fighting a secret war.

And my battle plan was deadly.

I leaned against a wall and waited. I wasn't looking for anyone in particular. The only flaw in my plan was that it needed money- something that had been worthless to me over the last twenty four years. And so I was going to get my hands on it in the only way I could.

I just hoped my thieving skills weren't out of shape.

I stayed there, trying to look casual and inconspicuous, watching the people pass by. Most of them were of no use to me- a one-eyed beggar, several guards, a few merchants and customers. Gallus and my mother had both taught me how to judge a person from just looking at them. The Argonian on the other side of the market, for example, was clearly a nasty piece of work. I could tell from the way he was constantly running his hands over the hilt of his weapon, and the way he glanced around with a shift expression on his face. The Nord in the iron armour browsing the food stall was a fighter, probably a mercenary- it was clear from his confident stride, the many marks on his iron chestplate, the battle scars on his face and arms. And the High Elf woman crossing the street right now- she was exactly what I was looking for. I smirked and straightened up. She was wearing expensive clothing and jewellery- the sure sign of a rich trader. She didn't just own a stall, she probably ran some sort of shop. And that meant she would have money on her.

Well, if she was a rich trader, then surely the loss of a few hundred Septim wouldn't hurt her too badly, would it?

My eyes narrowed. I quietly dropped behind her and followed her. This was another art that the Guild had taught me. I knew how to stalk someone while making no more noise than a cat's footsteps. I didn't even need to use the shadows to my advantage. To be sure, if she turned around and saw me standing behind her several times, she'd become suspicious. But a woman walking through the streets of her home city does not turn around several times. It just wouldn't occur to her that someone had picked her out as their target.

That was one of the reasons I had chosen Solitude. In Riften, you were constantly on the lookout for thieves. In some cities, cities like Markarth and Windhelm, just walking across the street was risky, and everyone watched their back. But the people of Solitude lived safely and well within their walls. There were few thieves here, and no reason to suspect a perfectly respectable-looking Dark Elf of being one.

Well, maybe that was going a little far. I wouldn't describe myself as perfectly respectable looking. But there was still no reason for the Altmer to have any suspicions about me, even if she did see me. Which she wouldn't.

I kept following her. And I was right. She never once so much as glanced my way. And soon, we were walking down a deserted street, and I had the perfect opportunity.

One moment, her pocket contained a coin purse, a small silver necklace, a gold ring, an amethyst, and for some strange reason, a carrot.

The next, it didn't.

Munching on the carrot- well, if nothing else, it'd help me see in the dark, I thought with a grin- I made my way back through the streets, two hundred Septim richer than before. And once I'd sold that jewellery, I'd be richer still.

It was going to take a lot more than this, though, before I could carry out my plan. It might even take months of thievery to earn the money I needed.

But I knew how to wait.

And I definitely knew how to steal.

* * *

A month later, I knew from the moment I woke that I was ready.

I had been right, that first morning. The first stage of my plan was taking as long as I had expected, and longer. Many, many days had come and gone since I had begun my vendetta against the people of Solitude. I had become a one-woman crime wave, and every day the guards seemed to look more and more harassed. Of course, I hadn't only stayed in Solitude. Dragon Bridge, Dawnstar and many other nearby places had all fallen victim to me over the past weeks. I didn't regret the theft of a single coin. This was for Gallus, and for the Guild.

I'd been selling the goods to the Khajiit caravans. That had been a risk, but again, determination had made me fearless. I knew that the Khajiit caravans had links with the Guild, but I also knew that they respected the privacy of their clients. I'd made it clear to them that I didn't want the Guild to know about it. And I'd also had a stroke of luck. One of the most frequently visiting caravans was the one that had visited Riften that New Life festival twenty four years ago. And its leader was the Khajiit who I'd helped. Better still, she remembered me. She had accepted my ill-gotten goods, no questions asked. Fortune had smiled upon me.

Luck. I'd been having a large amount of it recently. So much so that I was beginning to wonder if it was really luck.

But I no longer walked with Nocturnal. What reason would she have for helping me?

I shook the thoughts from my mind. That wasn't important right now. What was important was moving on to the next stage of my plan.

There was a reason I needed money. And the reason was inside the Winking Skeever inn.

I'd not been idle in the weeks leading up to my return to society. There was a reason I'd chosen Solitude, apart from its hopeless guard and its unwary citizens. Rumours I'd picked up, from the Khajiit traders, from listening to the conversations of those I passed, from beggars and thieves and brigands and even bandits, had pointed me in the direction of someone so completely without honour that he was perfect for my plan.

I needed to get Mercer suspicious. And to do that, I had to employ the first lesson Gallus had ever taught me. _To ensure an enemy's defeat, you must first undermine his allies. _And to do that, I had to find someone so completely untrustworthy that I could trust them to betray me.

And if the rumours I'd heard were enough to go on, I needed to find Gulum-Ei.

_You can trust Gulum-Ei to be untrustworthy, _the Khajiit woman had told me. _I wouldn't trust that Argonian as far as I could kick him. He's a fool, and he's a coward. He'll work with you for as long as he sees a benefit in it for him. But the moment he no longer needs you, there'll be a dagger between your ribs._

And that was exactly what I needed. I needed him to work with me, against the Guild, until Mercer began to suspect me. And I needed him to tell Mercer everything, the moment he was threatened. I needed him to betray me.

And that would draw Mercer into my trap.

I knew who he was immediately. Quite apart from the fact that the man sitting in the corner, quietly sipping from a tankard of what looked like firebrand wine, was the only Argonian in the inn, it was clear from his demeanour. I could tell from his face, his clothes, his expression. Everything about him spoke of a fence, a corrupt businessman, someone who cared only for himself, someone who exploited others without a care. He was just what I needed.

Yes, I felt guilty about manipulating and taking advantage of him. But I would have felt far guiltier had I backed out of my plan for such a small reason. I owed this to my Gallus.

He looked up as I approached. 'You have… questions?' he asked slowly, frowning.

I folded my arms. 'Might I have the slightly questionable pleasure of speaking to a certain… Gajul-Lei?'

I used one of his many aliases. According to the Khajiit merchants, what name you addressed him by told him what you wanted him for. My use of this name signified that I wanted to do business. Business that wasn't to be talked about to anyone.

The Argonian gave a sly, toothy smile. I couldn't help but be reminded of a slaughterfish. 'And if you were addressing Gajul-Lei,' he said, pressing the tips of his fingers together in a thoughtful manner, 'what exactly would you be wanting with him?'

I reached into my pocket, a large one that I had sewn onto the inside of my jacket to prevent anyone from being able to steal this. 'I'd be wanting business,' I replied. 'Business that you could carry out for me without anyone knowing.' I narrowed my eyes. 'Especially not Mercer Frey.'

That, of course, was intentional. Saying that I didn't want Mercer to know was a sure way of making sure that Gulum-Ei told Mercer everything.

'Indeed?' He chuckled. 'You have… special reasons for not wanting the Guild to find out about this?'

'You'll understand once I tell you what I want you to do.' I spoke without the slightest trace of doubt. Because I knew that he would do everything I wanted. I knew how people like him worked. I had worked with them for all the years of my life that had meant anything.

'Very well.' He got to his feet, clearly not wanting to have to look up at me. _Eye contact is important in business. _Gallus's voice echoed in my mind. 'So, what is it you want?'

I removed my hand from my pocket and held out a slip of paper. 'I think that'll tell you everything you want to know.'

Gulum-Ei delicately plucked it from my hand and unfolded it. His eyes scanned it closely, slowly growing wider and wider as they travelled down it.

'This can't be done,' he said finally, glancing up as he reached the end.

'I understood you were a man who knew how to get everything done,' I said quietly.

'Well, yes… but this? This is dangerous. Don't you know how dangerous it is to provoke the Guild- not to mention Maven Black-Briar- like this? What you are asking me to do is impossible. It is like walking into an Imperial camp dressed in Stormcloak armour. Suicidal.'

'I know,' I told him. 'I know it's dangerous. I also know exactly what I'm doing.'

He laughed scornfully. 'I don't think you do, Dark Elf. Fund the Honningbrew meadery? You're asking me to fund the Black-Briars' greatest rivals?'

'Yes,' I said simply.

'And… buy Goldenglow Estate? Ask Aringoth to cut all ties with the Guild? I think perhaps your mind has been claimed by Sheogorath.'

'Why are you worried? What happens to me is nothing to do with you. I have my reasons for wanting this. Even if the Guild does get angry, then it'll be me they want. You're just the salesman. And you're more useful to them alive than dead.'

He let out a long, low hiss. 'A comfort to me, I'm sure.'

I smiled. 'Well, if that won't persuade you… might this?'

I pulled a cloth bag from my pocket- a bag that contained the reward I had reaped from a month's hard work. 'Any more questions?' I asked.

There was a moment of silence, as the Argonian's gaze travelled from me, to the bag of gold, and back to me again. 'I have one,' the he said slowly, eyes wide. 'How much is in there?'

I dangled it temptingly in front of his nose. 'More than enough.'

He smirked and reached for it, but I yanked it back. 'Do we have a deal, Gajul-Lei?'

He frowned. 'A deal? Yes. I believe it is a deal under these conditions. I use this money to buy Goldenglow estate and to fund Honningbrew, both in your name. I order Sabjorn and Aringoth to sever all and any ties with the Thieves Guild, and not to breath a word to them about why. I deliver them some letters...'

I pushed them into his hands. He nodded. 'I keep any leftover money for myself, and say nothing of it to anyone. That is what this requests.' He waved my instructions in the air. 'I say nothing to the Guild. And you, you become Honningbrew's sponsor and Goldenglow's owner. And then we go our separate ways.'

'Agreed,' I told him, and held the bag of money. 'But don't even think about double-crossing me. If you do, I will make you pay.' I spoke the last sentence with such intensity that he flinched.

'I don't doubt it,' he said nervously. 'And I would not dream of betraying a client.'

_Liar, _I thought.

He opened the bag and dipped a hand inside, letting the gold fall through his fingers. 'This will be adequate,' he said, smiling. 'You have yourself a deal, elf.'

He held out his hand. I shook it. But my gaze never left his face, and I saw the glitter of greed in his eyes.

'Wait.' His eyes were narrow slits again as I turned to leave. 'Might I enquire as to your name?'

I had known this was coming, and I had already decided on my answer. It was too risky to tell him straight away. But I needed him to be intrigued. I needed him to work out what my name was. I needed to make sure he let the Guild know.

'You know my name,' I replied.

He blinked. 'I'm not sure I do.'

'You do.'

I marched towards the door, waiting for the last question that he was sure to ask.

'Wait… if I need to contact you again-'

'You won't.'

'But if I do. Where are you going?'

I turned and looked him right in the eyes, holding the shifty gaze until he flinched and looked away.

'Where the end began,' I muttered, turning away from him, knowing that I spoke just loud enough for him to hear me. 'Where the end began.'

I didn't wait any longer. I strode out of the inn without a backwards glance.

This was just another hunt. But this time I was not hunting rabbits or elk. I was hunting down a murderer and a traitor.

My trap was sprung. The bait had been laid down.

All I had to do was wait for my prey to come.

* * *

**I am dying from happiness. Look at the number of reviews, people! THANK YOU SO MUCH!**

**She makes complicated plans, doesn't she, Karliah? Wouldn't it have been a lot easier just to write Mercer a letter saying, 'Hi, meet me at Snow Veil Sanctum' or something like that? Ah well, I guess she had her reasons, and it makes for a more interesting questline. Even so, this bit confuses me so much. Hope I did OK. Apologies for the shortness, but I didn't think there was much else to be said. Also, I'm sorry if this feels a little rushed. I'm going away tomorrow (only for a few days, don't worry) so I wanted to get this up before I left, so as not to make the wait too long.**

**Since I like to think ahead, there's a poll on my profile for my next Elder Scrolls story, which I'll be starting not long after I finish this one. I've got plenty of ideas, I just don't know which ne to do yet. I'd appreciate it if you guys could vote!**

**Thanks again for reading! **


	28. Time

CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN

I am walking through the forests, listening to the sound of the leaves whispering to each other and the birds' voices raised in carefree song. Snow is dusted on the high peaks, but the sun is bright and warm, shining down on me from a cloudless sky. The shadows of the leaves dapple all around me, making a beautiful pattern of black and gold on the crisp, dry ground.

He walks by my side, humming the song I sang to him beside the lake, his eyes shining with joy. His smile is neither his usual calm one nor his boyish, mischievous one, but the one I have come to know so well, the one I love the most, because it is a smile that he only ever shares with me. It is a smile I never hesitate to return.

We walk on in silence for a while after he finishes the tune, content to simply walk side by side, hand in hand, alone together in the quiet happiness of the woodlands. At times like this, there is no need for words. All either of us needs is the knowledge that the other is there.

He speaks at last, glancing up at the roof of golden leaves above our heads, and the brilliant azure sky beyond. 'I love days like this,' he tells me quietly, his voice making my skin tingle. 'I love the Guild, but sometimes it's good to escape, if just for a while.'

I nod. We stop walking and look up to the skies as if we expect to see the answer to life written there. 'I know what you mean,' I say. 'It's nice just to get a bit of peace once in a while.'

He chuckles. 'Hmm, yes. Peace is very often hard to find in the Flagon.' He gives me a sad sort of smile and sits down on a tree stump. 'And of course, I can never talk to you properly when the others are around.'

I suddenly find myself feeling an unexpected twinge of anxiety. His words worry me. 'Gallus, you don't want to tell the others about us, do you?'

He hesitates, then shakes his head. 'No, I don't think so. They'll find out sooner or later, after all, and for now…' He beams at me, and I can see the unspoken words on his face. _Right now, what we share belongs to us, and to us alone._

We both lie down on the warm earth, hands behind our heads, gazing up into the depths of the sky, somehow unable to stop smiling. A bird wheels across the sky, and a light breeze plays through the branches of the trees. I smile to myself. We told the Guild this morning, as we left, that we were going on a job in Whiterun. In truth, all we had wanted was a few hours to enjoy each other's company, and to talk freely with no one listening.

His next question takes me by surprise. 'Do you ever wish you hadn't chosen the life of a thief, Karliah?'

I blink, unable not to feel confusion. 'Why? Do you think I do?'

He sighs. 'We're criminals. There's no way around it. We break the law for a living; it's all we do. We're loathed by the people of Skyrim, all the folk who call themselves honest people. There's plenty of ways that you and I could have made ourselves decent livings. Do you sometimes wonder whether we should have?'

I frown. The thought has simply never occurred to me. I was born to a thief, and was brought up as a thief. I never considered anything else. I've never considered anything else, and I've never had any regrets. Living by my mother's golden rule of enough and no more, I had never caused lasting harm to anyone. I had no reason to feel guilty about my actions. I was happy in the Guild. I always had been. I always would be. What reason would I have to regret my chosen path?

I shake my head. 'No. I think I was born for the life of a thief. I couldn't imagine doing anything else. And I've never done anything that I've regretted later. I don't think I've ever really hurt anyone by what I've done to them.' Apart, of course, from the handful of bandits and brigands, who will never be recovering from what I did to them.

Gallus nods. 'I agree. I could never conform to what other people call a decent life. Too dull, for a start. I think I proved that by leaving my family. There's just something in me that seeks more in life. I always was a rebel, I suppose.'

I laugh. 'I guess you just feel more comfortable searching through the contents of someone's pocket than you do when searching through the contents of some dusty old tome.'

His eyes sparkle. 'Oh, there's little that pleases me more than a good book, naturally. But I still think I'll never have any regrets about leaving my old life behind. I doubt my family ever missed me, and I know I've never missed them.' He turns his head towards me. 'And of course, had I not come to the Guild, I should never have met you.'

I feel like I could die of happiness, right here and right now. 'I wouldn't exchange you for anything,' I tell him.

'Nor I you,' he replies, and his face takes on a serious expression despite his smile. 'I couldn't live without you,' he says, and I can see the truth of his words on his face. 'I would die for you, Karliah.'

I take his hand, caressing it in my own. 'And I'd die for you,' I reply, without a second of hesitation.

'Don't,' he murmurs, closing his eyes. 'Promise me you won't. I want you with me forever.'

We lie there in the summer silence, as the golden strands of sunlight rise far above the hills.

I have eyes only for his face. So much for looking into the sky as if searching for the answer to life there. The answer to life is lying by my side, and I don't ever want him to leave.

'I wish we could just stay here for the rest of our lives,' he murmurs softly.

I smile. 'Fine with me.'

He reaches out and strokes my cheek, and I close my eyes with pleasure. 'Good,' he whispers. 'Because I think I could get lost in your eyes.' His smile widens. 'You know, I think it might have been your eyes I fell in love with first.'

I have only one reply to that. I gently take his face in my hands and lean in towards me. He runs his hand through my hair as our lips meet.

In the peace of the quiet forest, I find his embrace, and we lie there without a shred of sorrow in our hearts, bathed in the golden light of the sun.

* * *

My eyes snapped open and I lay still in silence. The chorus of bird voices outside my shelter told me that it was morning, but I did not move. I wanted to lie there forever, just as I would have done with Gallus all that time ago. I wanted to stay here, savouring the last bits of magic of the dream.

It was so strange. Since I had made my decision to come back to the world, since I had determined to keep my vow to Gallus, I had been having these dreams. Dreams of the past. Peaceful dreams. Happy dreams. Dreams that cast a feeling of serenity over me when I awoke. I was still haunted and plagued by nightmares, but every few nights, I would be lulled by the calmness of one of these visions of days gone by.

In a way, it was painful. I didn't want to be reminded of all that I had lost. But they reminded me why I was fighting, and who I was fighting for. And in these dreams I had experienced joy again for the first time in almost a quarter century.

Joy. A feeling I had all but forgotten.

I wasn't sure why these dreams were only coming to me now. Perhaps, having turned away from my life as an exile, having determined to fight for the vengeance I deserved, I was carrying less shame and guilt in my heart, and my mind was no longer tormenting me as much. Maybe the Divines had taken pity on me now that I had finally kept my promise to Gallus. Or maybe Gallus's spirit had somehow sensed that I was on my way to deliver him from his torment, and the dreams were his way of thanking me.

I smiled sadly. I didn't know if that dream that had come to me that night, that dream of him, was real. I wasn't sure whether I wanted it to be true or not. I hated the thought that he might be in such pain, such agony in his mind. But I wanted him to not be lost. I wanted him to be in the Sepulchre, because at least then I knew that he was there, and not lost forever. And whether the dream was true or not, it had at least opened my eyes. And if it was true, if my Gallus was really lost in the Sepulchre, slowly forgetting the world, forgetting himself, forgetting me… then I had to save him. I had to. He would have done the same for me.

_Except, _I thought bitterly, _he wouldn't have taken nearly twenty five years to do it._

But I had realised now. I had come back to the world. Gallus was not the only person who had forgotten who they were over the past years. But now I had remembered, and I was going to keep that oath I had sworn to him. I would keep it or die in the attempt.

_I won't give up, _I determined as I got to my feet and began packing up my shelter. _I've never been the sort of person to give up._

But then I hesitated, knowing that it was not completely true. There had been one time I had come so close to giving up. Giving up on my quest, giving up on myself, giving up on life.

I shuddered to remember it.

It had been, perhaps, a year after my banishment. I had been struggling to hard to survive. Every day was a battle, every minute that I was still alive a triumph. But as winter set in, and food became scarce, I had found myself desperate. Desperate, angry, and afraid.

And finally it had become too much. I closed my eyes, wincing as I remembered. I saw it in my mind, clear and painful.

In my mind's eye, I stumbled away from the body of the bear that had nearly killed me. My left arm was bleeding where it had clawed me, and pain shot through my body with every move I made. The beast lay still, my arrow in its throat, its glazed eyes still glowing with rage and hated and hunger, its claws digging into the snow as if, even in death, it longed for blood. The snow was stained with scarlet as I staggered away, my tears of fear and agony turning to ice on my face. I sank down against a pine tree, hugging my knees into my chest and trying to block out the pain. I might as well have been trying to block out the moonlight.

My sobs echoed through the night, and the wind howled over the mountains like a wounded beast. The cold bit into my body like sharp, hungry teeth, and my bow slipped from my numb fingers, falling with a crunch onto the snow. I closed my stinging eyes and huddled against the meagre shelter that the tree trunk provided, desperately trying to shield myself from the wind and cold.

I reached for my potion bag. I had to battle with the clasp for a full five minutes before I finally managed to pull it open. The cold bottles knocked against my fingers as I shoved them aside, trying to seek out the one I desired most. My frantic, frozen fingers finally found it. A resist cold potion. I scrabbled to uncork it. I lifted it to my mouth with a gasp of relief- but nothing came out. I shook the bottle desperately. Ot couldn't be empty, it just couldn't!

It wasn't empty. The liquid had frozen solid.

I threw it aside with a cry of mingled agony and fury. The wind's howling sounded like laughter, cruel, mocking laughter. I let out a long, wordless cry of pure grief and pain. All my heartache and sorrow and desperation and rage was poured into that cry, a cry that rebounded off the mountains and sent birds fluttering up in panic from the trees. A cry that rang in my mind long after it faded away.

Gallus was dead. I was an exile. My Nightingale status was gone forever.

What was the use? What was the point in this? What was the point in anything? What was the point in living?

I wasn't quite certain how it happened at the time, and I never have been since. All I know is that one moment, my hands were pressed together as if in prayer, clutching each other in a futile attempt to retain some warmth. The next, they were holding my dagger, and the tip was at my throat.

I was shaking now. I wasn't sure whether it was from the cold, or from fear. I looked at my blade, the blade that Gallus had given me, the blade that was about to end my life. I felt another sob break from my throat, but I shook the tears from my eyes and swallowed down my terror. I would stay strong. I would die with dignity. It would be painful, but it would be quick. I would suffer for a short while, but then it would be over. It would all be over. I would not have to carry on. I could just let go, set myself free.

The thought made me feel relieved. In a minute's time, it would all be over, ended forever. I would never have to suffer again. I would be free.

And I would see him again.

I sucked in air, and took my last look at the world. The shadows, the forests, the mountains, the moons, the stars. I had loved them so much. It pained me to leave them behind. But I had no choice.

I wanted to die. I had to die. It would be easier to die.

I was going to join him. I was coming back to him. I was going back to Gallus, and in death, nothing would be able to keep us apart.

I brought back my hands, ready to strike the final blow. _Please, Divines, _I thought. _If you ever had any mercy, then let my death be swift._

My eyes closed, and my hands moved, moved forwards, and I felt the cold metal touch my throat-

And then I flung the dagger away with a cry. It spun through the air and landed on the snow, black against white.

I kneeled there, breathing hard, unable to believe how close I had come to surrender.

How could I have been so foolish? Killing myself would not set me free. It would condemn me to an eternity of torment. Without the title of Nightingale, I would never be able to rejoin Gallus when I died. If his soul was still out there, it would be in the Sepulchre. If I was to join him, ever, I would have to go to the Sepulchre too. And more than that. I was the only witness to Mercer's betrayal. If I died, who would prove my innocence? Who would punish Mercer? Who would avenge Gallus?

Nobody. Nobody could, and nobody would. Everything depended on me.

Slowly, I got to my feet and picked up my bow and dagger. I would not give in. I could not give in. I would keep fighting, and I would fight until Mercer was dead at my hand, and Gallus's death was avenged.

My hands still numb with cold, I staggered off into the woods, as the wind howled and wailed around me…

I came back to the present with a wince. It was almost a physical pain, to think about how close I had come to breaking my promise to Gallus. It was a promise I had to keep, because it was a promise I had pledged my soul to.

I sighed and sat down on a rock, surveying the woodlands. It was nearly time. I knew that now. I had heard the news from Whiterun and Riften. Goldenglow estate had been virtually wiped out. The mercenaries that had been guarding it had been killed, and Aringoth, the former owner, had been found bound and trapped in his own wardrobe, yelling furiously and blaming everyone except for himself. The Honningbrew meadery was under new management. Apparently the leader of the Whiterun guard had tasted their mead, and it had tasted like a seven-month-old horker carcass. It was rumoured that the Guild had found a way to slip skeever poison into the mead. I had to admire their nerve and their ingenuity.

All I was waiting for now was the news from Tsumata –that was the Khajiit woman - and her caravan. They had promised to send me word when the Guild came for Gulum-Ei. Because they would. I knew they would. And then Gulum-Ei would tell them everything. And then I would be ready.

The thought that after all this time- it would be a full quarter century in less than a week- I finally had vengeance within my grasp was enough to make me stop dead and shake my head in amazement. I was so close to victory now. So many years had passed, and so much suffering had been undergone, but now, at last, I was going to avenge my lover.

I was not going to kill Mercer. He didn't deserve the mercy of a quick death. He needed to know what he had condemned me to with his lies and his treachery. He needed to be taken before the Guild alive, with his betrayal clear for all to see. He needed to know what it was to be hated by all the people who you called your friends. He needed to know how it felt to see your life fall to pieces around you. Not until I saw the fear and pain in his eyes would I kill him. Only once he felt my pain would I finally have vengeance. For myself as well as for Gallus.

And I had a weapon. A secret weapon. When I had started to make it, I had not had this in mind. I had planned to make a poison I could use on predators, one that would paralyse them before they reached me, so that I could escape them before it came to a head-on battle. But that did not concern me now. After an entire year of painstaking work, I had finally perfected it. A poison that would paralyse my foe almost the instant they reached me, slowing their heartbeat, rendering them helpless until the antidote was applied. This was my weapon, the weapon that I would use one Mercer. All it would take was a single shot. Which was good, because I only had enough for a single shot.

I knew that I wouldn't miss. With Mercer, I would not miss. I hated him too much to miss.

And that was not all. I remembered how, back when I was with the Guild, in the evenings, Gallus would sit apart from the rest of us, scribbling in his journal. He carried it with him everywhere. He would almost certainly have taken it to the sanctum. And if he had written about his suspicions in there, then I would have everything I needed. Mercer would be at my mercy, and I would have proof of his treachery.

I heard a crunch of snow behind me. I reached for my bow.

'It is Tsumata, friend. With news.'

I relaxed and turned around. She was standing at the top of the slope, clasping her furred hands together uneasily. 'Well?' I asked. 'Did they find him? Has he told them?'

The Khajiit hesitated, then dipped her head. 'He told them everything. A Guild member wiped out half the guard of the East Empire company to find him. He didn't care about betraying you, as long as he saved his own slimy skin.'

'I didn't expect anything different from him.' I reached into my pocket and pulled out a coin purse, which I tossed to her. 'That's yours. I don't need it, and it's far less than you deserve for helping me.

Tsumata pocketed it. 'Thank you. But… where are you going now?'

'To put an end to this. For good,' I replied simply.

She nodded slowly. 'This one does not think we will see each other again.'

I blinked. 'Maybe we will, if all goes well. But if not, then thank you for everything you've done.'

She smiled at me. 'Tsuamata does not know what drives you towards your goal, nor what that goal may be. But she wishes you all the best of luck.'

'Thank you. I'm going to need it.'

We looked at each other for a moment more, then Tsumata nodded and turned back towards the distant city. 'May you walk on warm sands,' she murmured, and vanished among the trees.

I breathed in deeply. It was time to go.

I gathered my gear. Dusk stepped forwards from where he stood beneath the trees. He was old now, his muzzle streaked with grey, but I had left him in Enthir's care for the past years, and he was still loyal, still strong. He would take me to the Sanctum, to the goal of which Tsumata had spoken. Snow Veil Sanctum. My trap, my cage. Gallus's final resting place.

I would go there. I would lay him to rest. I would take my revenge.

All would be set to rights. Or Mercer's sword would taste Nightingale blood once again.

* * *

**Thank you to the peope who voted on the poll for what my next story should be! If you haven't, please do, because I need to know which one I need to start planning... **

**I don't have much else to say, apart from the usual thanks for reading and please review!**


	29. Hope

CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT

It was so strange. After all this time, after all these years waiting for vengeance. After all the pain and suffering and grief and rage and despair. After everything I had been through. After everything I had lost. After all the plans I had made. After all the waiting. After it all, I was scared to take the first step into the Sanctum. The first step towards victory.

It wasn't that I feared the darkness, or the traps, or the Draugr. I did not fear them at all. I feared two things.

I feared failure. And I feared success.

If I were to fail, then it would be my death. I knew that. It was the simple truth. If my shot missed, if I could not find proof of Mercer's treachery, if anything, anything at all went wrong, then I would fail. And then I would die. In my mind, I heard Gallus's cry, saw him fall to the floor with blood coating his tunic, thick and red. If I failed, if I could not triumph over Mercer this night, that would be me.

I could not fail. Too much depended on my success. The Guild could not carry on under the leadership of a traitor. They had to be told the truth. The Skeleton Key had to be returned. Gallus had to be saved. The Nightingales had to be restored. And I had to keep my promise.

But the truth was that I was afraid of what success would bring.

Even if I were able to capture Mercer today, would I be able to prove his treachery? Even if I could find proof, would the Guild believe it? Even if they did, would I be able to find any among them who were worthy of the name of Nightingale? Because the trinity had to be restored. If it wasn't, the Key could never be returned. And even if I were able to find two Guild members who were ready and willing to take the Oath, then what of me? Would Nocturnal forgive my failure? Would she take me back?

But even if everything went to plan, I was still afraid. Because for twenty five years now, minus a day or two, I had been alone. I had been an outcast, an exile, a runaway. I wasn't ready to return, even after all these months of planning and preparing myself. I feared what would come with Mercer's death and my forgiveness. I feared the Guild. I feared my home. I feared my family.

And yet I knew that I still had to return. Because I had promised Gallus. Because I had to take revenge. Because I had to fulfil my Oath as a Nightingale, even if I wasn't a Nightingale any more. I had to save the Guild, and my friends who lived there.

It was my duty.

I had made a promise. And I intended to keep it.

I thought back to Irkngthand, to those moments when we had both thought I was falling into the hands of death. I heard his voice, full of fear and pain. _'Stay with me, Karliah. Please, stay with me. I will see you safe, you have my word. I __will__ save you. I promise. Please, trust me.' _I had trusted him to save me, and he had. He had kept his promise. I had made a promise to him, to avenge him. And I had also promised, maybe not in words, but in my mind for sure, that I would save him.

I had trusted him to save me, and he had saved me. He almost certainly did not know of my promise to him. But if he did, then he was trusting me to save him. And I had to save him.

Because Gallus never once broke a promise to me, apart from one. He promised to come back to me, and he never did.

But that was Mercer's fault. And Mercer would pay for it. He would pay for it a hundred, a thousand, a million times over. I would make him pay.

And so, no matter how much I feared what this day and the days that came after it would bring, I had to face it. Be it victory, failure, triumph, pain, misery, joy, or death, I would face it. Because my honour and my love for Gallus would not allow me to back out now.

I stood facing the door of the sanctum. It was locked up tight as a drum, but I would not be a thief if I could not pass through a locked door. It was calming, quietly slipping my pick into the lock and carefully twisting it around, finally finding the right position and listening to the satisfying click as the door swung open. It felt so normal, to be stealing and lockpicking again. Almost as if the last twenty five years had never happened.

But they had. And that was why I was here.

I pushed open the door.

I was faced with a passage, dark and long. The place smelled of ancient cloth, dust and blood. It was a smell I could not help but associate with death. I lit a torch and held it up before me, watching the clouds of dust pour through the pool of light. I took a step forward, and the bones of some small, long dead creature crunched beneath my feet. I shivered. The cold of the outside swept in an icy gust into the tomb, and the wind whistling through the gloomy tunnels sounded like a mournful wail of grief.

I walked forwards, into the darkness, keeping one hand on my dagger, ready to fight at a moment's notice. I looked carefully at all the mouldering bodies that lined the walls as I passed them, trying to block out the foul stench long enough to make sure that none of them were Draugr. Every step I took, I expected something to leap out from the shadows and attack me. Every foreign sound made me flinch. This was the place where my Gallus had died, and I knew that it might well be the place where I died also. I could not help but be afraid.

I had only been moving for about three minutes when I heard a noise that made me drop my torch and leap back into the shadows, readying my bow. The torch fell onto the floor, sending up a shower of embers. It rolled over, hitting the side of an urn and sending it toppling to the ground, crushing the flame into nothingness. In the blackness that fell instantly, I heard the sound clearly now. The sound of feet, feet that sounded as if they were made of wet paper, steadily padding towards me. I knew that there was no hiding from it. It would have heard the crash as the urn fell, and it knew where I was. I had no choice but to face it.

It appeared from around the corner like some ghastly apparition from the darkest of nightmares. Its flaky, rotting skin looked like it was made of thin parchment, and its bones poked through, stark and white. Just the sight of it made me want to drop my bow and run, but I had to face it, had to stay strong, for Gallus's sake.

The draugr's eyes glowed with malice as it neared me, its ancient, rusty greatsword raised high. Its first blow was clumsy and easy to dodge. The huge blade smashed against the floor with a clang. It turned its head towards me and hissed, its voice scratching in its throat. '_Bolog aaz, mal mey, ahrk aav dilon!'_

Even without knowing what the words meant, the creature's intention was clear. I fired my arrow without hesitation, watching as the shaft buried itself in the draugr's neck. It staggered back with a growl, but quickly recovered and lashed out, swinging its sword forwards in a powerful lunge I only just managed to evade. I fired again, this time hitting it directly in the heart- if it even had one. It howled, dropped its weapon, and toppled backwards with a crash onto the floor, to die for the second time.

I stood still, standing over its body, breathing hard.

So much death in one place. So many lives ended here in this tomb. In the heart of this Sanctum, my lover lay in the darkness. Soon, I would face his killer.

And one of us was sure to die. Just one more death, here in the shadows.

I shivered, pulled my arrows from the corpse, replaced them in my quiver, and hurried on, into the glooming darkness.

* * *

I arrived at the heart of the Sanctum as night fell.

Of course, deep underground as I was, I could not see the sky darkening, but I had lived in the wild long enough to be able to know instinctively what the time was, even without being outside. Naturally, the setting of the sun made no difference here, where little or no light reached anyway.

My footsteps sounded loud as thunder as I emerged into a chamber I recognized. It was the one where the walls were carved with pictures, intricate patterns that stretched all along its length, from the ceiling to the floor. Ahead of me was the doorway through which I had emerged into the central chamber, but this time it was not open. The puzzle door stood firmly in my path, round and tight, blocking me from going any further.

I knew how to deal with these, though. I had been into an ancient Nordic ruin before, back with the Guild. The twins. Elruen and I had delved into a place called Korvanjund in search of some ancient, valuable artifact. We had found one of these doors there. All you needed to do was to unlock it with the matching dragon claw. I had been fortunate enough to find the claw on the body of a powerful Draugr Overlord in the last chamber, and now I turned the rings on the door to match the pattern onto the claw's palm, and inserted it into the centre plate. All it took was a simple twist to make the door click as it unlocked, and to slide slowly into the ground with a long, low grinding sound.

I stepped over the threshold and into the central chamber.

I stopped dead after only three paces, staring into the gloom. This was the place where the end began; the place where, on the blade of a friend, the man I had loved more than life itself had breathed his last. I had visited this place so, so many times in my nightmares. Never had I thought that I would return here once more.

I heard the door sliding back into position behind me. I wasn't worried about that. Mercer had the Skeleton Key. He could pass through any door he wanted to. He would come. He would come here, into the very heart of the ruin. He would walk right into the jaws of my trap, and then, I would be ready for him.

But there was something I had to do first.

I waited until my eyes became accustomed to the darkness before I stepped forwards. My throat was tight, as if it was being squeezed by an invisible hand, and my feet felt as if they were made of lead. But I walked forwards, into the blackness, until finally I saw him.

Or what was left of him.

I had expected no less. Twenty five years had come one gone since he had fallen to the ground, here in this ancient tomb. Time had taken its unflinching course, and now all that was left of the man who had meant more to me than the entire universe was a few scraps of ruined leather armour, and bones. Dry bones.

I felt a sob rising in my throat. It pained me beyond measure to look, but somehow I could not tear my eyes away. It was the most terrible sight I had ever seen in my entire life, and yet somehow it was impossible to stop looking. I think maybe something deep inside me thought that to flinch away from the truth would be a dishonour to his memory.

Two shaky steps took me to where he lay. I stared with wide eyes filled with tears at the unmoving form. I had thought that my heart was as utterly broken as it was possible for a heart to be broken, but now, looking at what little was left of my Gallus, I felt the last few invisible threads that held it together shatter into pieces.

I knelt down beside him, buried my face in my hands, and tried to choke back my tears. It was like trying to hold back the tide, and in the end I simply let them come.

Mercer. Mercer Frey. Once one of my greatest friends, a man I would have trusted with my life. My fellow Nightingale, someone who had thought beside me in so many battles I could no longer remember how many there had been. A man who I had once thought of as a member of my family. A man who had once been as close to me as a brother.

He had brought this upon us, upon us all. He had brought me to this, he had brought Gallus to this. He had destroyed the Nightingales, betrayed the Guild, exiled me and murdered his best friend. He, who had once been a comrade and a friend, had destroyed my love with his hatred, had ripped apart my life with his bitterness and greed. I clenched my fists. He had done this, done this to all of us, and I was going to make him pay. I was going to make him pay so dearly that he would forever regret the life he had taken within this tomb.

I would kill him. I would.

Because he did this. Because _this… _I looked at the remains of the man I loved for a second, then hid my face in my hands again. This used to be my Gallus. This used to be a wise man, a brave man, an honourable man. A man who cared for his Guild and his friends above all else. A man whose laugh was music, whose eyes were works of art, whose smile was pure light. This used to be a man who used to talk and laugh and steal and smile and love. He used to love. He used to love _me._

But no longer. This was not Gallus, not anymore. Gallus was gone forever. His soul had left his body, his spirit was gone. The man I loved was lost until I could save him.

I breathed in, shuddering slightly as I did so. I had to harden my heart and do what I came here to do. I didn't know how much time I had before Mercer came. It had been early morning when Tsumata had brought me the news that Gulum-Ei had been found. I had travelled straight here from Solitude, whereas whichever Guild member had located the Argonian would have had to travel back to Riften first. I was probably a few hours ahead of him.

I still had to be quick. I needed to be ready in case anything went wrong.

I had to think for some time before I remembered the next stage of the plan. Gallus's journal. Did he have it? He had to. He always had it with him. It would be in the pocket of his tunic, as it always was.

The slight bulge in the pocket told me that I was right. I had to close my eyes as I gently tugged it free. It seemed so disrespectful to him, to take his diary from his dead body. But I knew that he would understand. If things had been the other way around, if our places had been reversed, then I would have understood, if it was me.

And it was the only way. I had no choice.

I clutched it tightly in both hands and straightened up. 'Thank you, Gallus,' I whispered. 'And… I'm sorry.'

I breathed in sharply as I flicked it open-

And my eyes widened with horror.

I leafed through the pages quickly, my eyes growing wider and wider still as I progressed through. I glanced at each page for no longer than a second. I did not need to look at them for an longer, because I could not understand a single word. He had written the entire thing in a foreign language. Not only that, it was a language with a different script. I stared at the outlandish, weirdly shaped letters, written with the precise strokes of Gallus's neat, careful hand. I was sure, I was certain, so absolutely certain that it was painful, that they contained the proof I needed. But unless I could find out their meaning, I would never be able to prove my innocence.

'Oh, Gallus,' I whispered, unsure whether to laugh or cry. 'Isn't that just like you?'

I turned away from him, heading further into the darkness of the tomb. I ascended the steps at the back of the chamber and sat down to wait.

I would find some way to translate the journal. But I would have to wait until Mercer was in my power before I did. I did not have the time to find a way to read it now. This complicated my plans, but it did not change them. I would just have to wait until Mercer came.

He would come. I had laid my plans to cleverly for him not to come. All I had to do was prepare myself, and wait.

I drew an arrow from my quiver, the one with the straightest shaft, the sharpest tip, the neatest fletching. Laying it down beside me, I pulled a small potion bottle from my pouch. I held it up in front of me. I couldn't hold back a small shake of my head as I thought about how the tiny amount of liquid in the bottom of this vial held power over my life and death.

I uncorked the bottle and swirled the liquid around inside it, making sure that all the ingredients were thoroughly mixed together. I rubbed the tip of my arrow on my tunic to clean it before dipping it into the poison. Despite the fact that I had only made a few drops, I knew that it would be enough- maybe even more than enough. It would only take a few seconds to take effect. I had enough confidence in my skills as an alchemist to be sure that it would work.

Everything depended on it working. Everything. All my well laid plans would be wasted in a second if this failed. If my shot misfired, if the poison did not take effect quickly enough, if Mercer did not come…

I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. He would come. And I would be ready for him.

An hour passed, crawling by agonisingly slowly. Then two. Then a third. Soon I was pacing up and down to try and wear out the stiffness in my limbs, and to try and give myself something to do. Boredom was by no means a foreign concept to me. Much of the last quarter century that had not been spent acquiring food had been used for sitting around and doing absolutely nothing. But right now, when the moment for which I had been waiting for so long was just around the corner, just out of my reach, the wait was agonising.

Just as I was beginning to wonder whether my plans had gone wrong, whether I had overlooked something, whether he was not coming after all, I heard the door click.

Instantly I was standing at the top of the steps, my heart racing like a wild horse and my hand shaking so much I could barely fit the poisoned arrow to my bowstring. I breathed in deeply, then breathed out again, trying to calm myself. I had to stay focused. This was the moment I either succeeded or failed. I would only get a single shot at this- in more ways than one. I had to concentrate harder than ever before, because if I made just one single mistake, everything was lost.

And I could not fail now. For my sake, for Gallus's sake, for the sake of the Nightingales, for the sake of the Guild.

I drew back my arrow until the feathers were brushing against my cheeks, looked down its length, and waited. The rest of the world seemed to drop away, and the universe shrank to the size of this chamber.

It was time. After all the waiting, after all the pain and the suffering. After everything I had endured, it was time, finally time-

The door twisted. I could hear the rings grinding against each other. Slowly, so slowly, it began to slide away, down into the floor. The final barrier between me and the vengeance I had dreamed of for so long sank out of sight, and for a moment, all was silent.

Then a figure appeared in the doorway. A figure in the armour of the Thieves Guild.

I tensed, and was an inch from letting my arrow fly, when I realised with a feeling of growing horror, that this was not Mercer.

It was too dark to see the person properly, but I knew that they were far too small in stature to be him. Their footsteps were quieter and lighter, their entire demeanour somehow softer. And- I could only see by squinting through the darkness- I hadn't known Mercer as well as I'd thought I'd known him, but I knew he definitely did not have a tail.

No. Mercer was not, and never had been, a Khajiit. And this stranger was without a doubt, a young female Khajiit.

But how could that be? Who was she? What was she doing here? Surely only Mercer could have understood the trail I had laid. Surely only he could have come here, could have known to come here. Surely only he-

And then it hit me. He had been one step ahead of me. He had known that this was a trap. Of course he had known. How could he not have known? And so he had lured this Khajiit here with him, made her take the lead, made sure that any shot I fired would hit her before it hit me. And if it came to a fight, she would not know the truth. She would fight for her Guildmaster. And I would be outnumbered. There would be no chance of victory.

I saw him. For the first time in almost twenty five years, I saw him. Lurking in the shadows, shielded by his oblivious Guild member. The sight of me sent a wave of hatred flowing through me, so strong that it almost knocked me clean off my feet. He had let me taste victory, and then he had snatched it away. I knew what he was thinking. _Come on, Karliah. Make your choice. Kill an innocent girl, and have a chance of taking me? Or spare her, and lose your one and only chance of vengeance? _I could almost see his smirking smile…

_Oh, Divines, _I thought despairingly. _How could you be so cruel?_

But there was still one option. It was a tiny hope, the tiniest hope that had ever existed. But it was a hope. And it was my only hope.

Because I knew this Khajiit. I had seen her before. For a moment, my mind struggled to make the connection; and then I realised. I had seen her in my dream, the dream that had led me to realise how I had forgotten my love for Gallus. I had seen here there. I had looked into her eyes. I had heard her voice. _'Seek for me,' _she had said. _'Seek for me.'_

I did not need to seek her. She had sought out me, and she had found me. And now, she was my only hope.

All these thoughts flew through my head in less than a single second. In the single moment it took for the young Khajiit to cross the threshold of the doorway, I made my decision.

I breathed in, and breathed out. I picked my target. I whispered Gallus's name.

And I fired.

* * *

END OF BOOK THREE


	30. Friend

**Hi, people! Welcome to the fourth and final book of 'Indigo Nightingale.' Thanks to everyone who's reviewed, alerted, favourited, and read it so far. You guys are amazing. Seriously. **

**I forgot to say in the last chapter, sorry. What the Draugr said to Karliah was, '**_**Bolog aaz, mal mey, ahrk aav dilon!' **_**which, loosely translated, means, 'beg for mercy, little fool, and join the dead.' **

**Anyway, here's chapter twenty nine. Enjoy! ;D**

* * *

BOOK FOUR – AVENGER

_Revenge is an act of passion; vengeance of justice. Injuries are revenged; crimes are avenged._

Samuel Johnson

* * *

CHAPTER TWENTY NINE

Hope.

Hope is both the cruellest and the kindest emotion that exists on this world. It is a powerful thing, so powerful that it can make the difference between life and death. Whilst you have hope, even the mortal who has endured suffering beyond imagination and pain beyond belief can cling to life, can keep going. Hope can keep a mortal alive when nothing else can. But take away the hope, and there is no reason for living. Take away the hope, destroy the faith, and all that is left is despair. And then there is no barrier between life and death any more.

In the twenty five years I lived without Gallus, without a home, without a family, it was hope that kept me going. It was a forgotten hope. It was a hope so tiny I had forgotten what it was I was hoping for. But it had been enough to keep me going, even after I had forgotten why I had to keep going, even when I gone beyond caring what became of me. There was enough of it in me to keep me fighting.

And so it had come to this.

For months, I had been hoping for this. I had been waiting for Mercer to walk into my trap. I had truly believed that he would blunder into my grasp like a skeever into a baited snare.

I had been right, in a way. He had taken the bait. But he had lured another into the trap.

I knew that I had no choice. I had only a single arrow, a single shot. I was never going to get a chance to use it on Mercer before it was too late. I had only a single option.

And I took it. Because even now, even when the plans I had put such faith into had been shattered into pieces, I had hope.

And so I fired.

I watched as my arrow cut the air. My eyes followed it as it flew fast as a diving falcon across the chamber. I heard the hiss and twang of my bowstring, and the whistling of air in the feathered fletching.

It was a sound I had heard so many times before, a sight I had seen countless times. But never before had I aimed at an innocent person.

The arrow struck home.

The Khajiit stopped dead, as if she had suddenly walked into an invisible wall. I saw her stagger backwards. She looked almost confused as she slowly reached up to where my arrow had torn through her armour and embedded itself in her shoulder. Her eyes widened as her hand closed around the shaft. Then she suddenly went limp and crashed to the ground, like a tree whose trunk had been severed with a single blow from a woodman's axe.

Well. Looked like my alchemy skills were in good shape, at least.

There was a loud thump as she hit the floor. I could see that she was still conscious, but her body was refusing to move at her will. The poison had paralysed her completely. Unless she was given the antidote I had spent weeks making, she would never move again.

I had taken a huge risk. And I had sacrificed so much. That arrow, the arrow that was still quivering in the flesh of her shoulder, had been the source of all my hope. I had dreamed for so long of using it on Mercer. And now I never would. This time, he had escaped my trap. I would not have vengeance this day.

I gritted my teeth. Twice now, here in this ruin, he had stolen something precious from me. First my love, and now my vengeance. How much more was he going to take from me?

But I had no choice. If I were to survive this encounter, if I were to have my revenge at all, no matter how long I had to wait for it, this had been my only option. With no idea of how the Khajiit would react to what she was about to hear, the safest- and only- option had been to remove her from the equation. For now. There was no way around the fact that she was about to see and hear everything. Whether I liked it or not, this stranger was soon to know secrets so deeply buried that they were hardly even true anymore.

But maybe… maybe it was meant to be this way. Why else would she have appeared in my dream, if she were not meant to be here?

I didn't know. I didn't understand anything. All I understood was that there was no going back now. I had made my choice, because it had been the only choice open to me. I just hoped- yes, I had hope, I still had hope, even now- that it would prove the right choice.

I looked at her prone body, and felt my heart clench in sadness. Somehow, I knew that she was not Mercer's partner in crime, merely an innocent Guild member he had lured here in order to save himself. She no more knew the truth than a jar of honey knows the history of the Goldenglow estate. I was about to turn her entire world upside down, and there would be no going back. Not for any of us.

But the cards had been set on the table now. I had no choice but to try and play them right from now on. My only option was to face what came.

This time, Mercer had beaten me. But it would not happen again. I would not let it happen again. Somehow, I would make him pay for everything he had done. Even if it took me the rest of my life, I would see him answer for his crimes.

_I will have my vengeance, _I vowed silently. _I will avenge Gallus's death. I will kill you, Mercer. Not today. But soon._

And for now, I would just have to face him. But I would not fight him. That would be my death. But there was another way. My fingers reached into my potion bag, closing around one of my invisibility potions. I had a feeling I was going to be needing it.

Very slowly, I descended the steps. My footsteps, light and soft as they were, echoed off the walls of the chamber as if someone were beating a drum. I kept my eyes on the doorway, and a moment later, Mercer melted from the shadows. My fingers gripped my bow even more tightly as I looked on the face that had haunted my nightmares for twenty five years. He looked… older. His hair was flecked with grey, and his face looked like a chunk of rock that had once been smooth and polished but had been weathered by wind and rain and time until it was rough and rigid. But then, almost twenty five years had passed since I had last seen him. Of course he had aged. He could lie and run and hide and steal and murder as much as he wanted, but even he could not turn back the years. Even the mighty Guildmaster, I thought with a sneer, could not stand in the way of the turn of the seasons. But the arrogance in his eyes was unchanged, and as I looked at him, I forgot that this was a man who had once been my friend. All I could see as I looked at him was the traitor who had murdered my love.

And now he had to answer for it. Even if I could not make him pay now, there was no way I was going to allow him to walk away from this place without answering for his crimes.

I watched as he stepped over the body of the fallen Khajiit. Despite my frustration, my heart went out to her. What must she be thinking? Her Guildmaster, a man she would have trusted, respected and honoured up until now, was standing by and leaving her defenceless as she lay helpless. Her confusion must be terrible.

Mercer looked up, his flint-coloured eyes scouring the shadows for me. 'Karliah!' he called, and my skin prickled at the sound of that sneering, hatred-filled voice that I remembered so well and loathed so much.

'Mercer,' I hissed, and my free hand clenched into a fist, so tightly that had it not been for my gloves, I think I would have made myself bleed.

He strode forwards, radiating confidence and contempt. I stepped down from the stairs to meet him, and we faced each other at last, for the first time in so many years. I think both of us knew how long the other had been waiting for this moment, how much they had dreamed of it, how eagerly they had anticipated its arrival.

'Do you honestly think your arrow will reach me before my blade finds your heart?' His face twisted into a sneer.

I narrowed my eyes, knowing that all the rage and hatred I felt for him burned in them like indigo fire. 'Give me a reason to try.'

He smiled a mirthless, cruel smile. It was the sort of smile you might expect to find on a man who had just enjoyed eating a raw kitten.'You're a clever girl, Karliah. Buying Goldenglow estate and funding Honningbrew meadery was inspired.'

So, he had worked it out, after all. _Yes, Mercer, _I thought. _I made you look like a fool in front of Maven Black-Briar, and I put your position at risk. How are you going to undo that? Did you never listen to what Gallus told us?_

I straightened up, returning my bow to its holder and glaring fearlessly across the room at him. 'To ensure an enemy's defeat, you must first undermine his allies,' I told him, meeting his cold grey gaze. 'It was the first lesson Gallus taught us.' I heard the bitter words ringing around the chamber, and I wished that Mercer would give some sign, however small, that he grieved for the man he had killed, that he showed some remorse.

But I knew that he had killed without hesitation and without guilt. He had forgotten the meaning of pity.

He took a step forwards, his voice loud and clear in the quiet of the tomb. 'You always were a quick study,' he said mockingly.

I felt my whole body tremble with fury, and the words broke from my mouth before I could bite them back. 'Not quick enough, otherwise Gallus would still be alive.'

Mercer's expression changed abruptly, from scorn to anger. 'Gallus had his wealth and he had you,' he growled. 'All he needed to do was look the other way.'

I blinked. _Gallus had his wealth and he had you. _And Mercer had not had me. Was this truly what all this was about? I felt my rage building up inside me until it was a strain to keep it contained. Gallus's death, the theft of the Key, the shattering of the Nightingale Oath- that had all been because it was Gallus, and not Mercer, who'd _had _me?

'Did you forget the Oath we took as Nightingales?' I took a step towards him, my teeth clenched so tightly together it was painful. 'Did you expect him to simply ignore your methods?'

'Enough of this mindless banter!' With a scraping swish, Mercer drew his sword. The blade flashed in the pale light, and he dropped into a fighting stance, his body quivering with anticipation. 'Come, Karliah,' he snarled, twisting my name into the ugliest sound I had ever heard. 'It's time for you and Gallus to become reunited!'

I stared at him, without fear, without rising to his challenge. He was wrong. The time would come when I could go back to him, when I could be at his side again. But not here, and not today.

Without speaking, I reached down to my belt and pulled out the invisibility potion. I tipped back my head and poured the tasteless liquid down my throat. I heard Mercer's furious hiss and saw him lurch forward, as if trying to reach me before I vanished- but no sooner had I wiped my mouth with my sleeve and swallowed the last few drops, I blinked out of sight.

'I'm no fool, Mercer.' I felt my lip curl with hatred. 'Crossing blades with you would be a death sentence. But I can promise the next time we meet, it _will _be your undoing.'

I saw his face constrict with loathing and fury, but I did not wait for him to reply. I turned on my heel and made my way up the steps, trying to stop myself from crying tears of rage. I waited to hear the sound of Mercer leaving, for he must know that he could not catch me now, but to my surprise, I heard his voice again.

'How interesting,' he said, and I spun around, forgetting that he could not see me, and that even if I were not invisible, I was out of sight in the shadows, behind the pillars at the back of the chamber. For a moment, I was uncertain who he was addressing. And then I saw him, saw him standing over the limp form of the Khajiit woman, his voice filled with derision. 'It appears Gallus's history has repeated itself.'

I stiffened with shock.

'Karliah has provided me with the means to be rid of you,' Mercer continued, as casually as if he were telling her the weather. 'And this old tomb becomes your final resting place.'

I gasped in horror. He meant to kill her. He had not only brought her here under false pretences, he had intended that this place should be her death. And now, because of what I had done, she was at his mercy. There was no saving her.

'But do you know what intrigues me the most? The fact that this was all possible because of you.' Mercer sounded almost delighted. And I realised that I was not the only person who had laid down a plan that had only half worked. Mercer had planned to lead the Khajiit to her death, and then kill me. I had evaded him this time. But the Khajiit? Fortune had not smiled upon her.

Mercer had sheathed his sword, but now he drew it again. I looked at the blade that had murdered Gallus, the blade that had destroyed my life. And I knew in that instant that I would not let that blade destroy the world of another, nor let it take the life of another innocent mortal, a mortal who had trusted him.

'Farewell,' Mercer sneered, twirling his sword around in his hand. 'I'll be sure to give Brynjolf your regards.'

Several emotions flew through my head at once as he said the words. The first was amazement. Brynjolf? He was still alive? He was still with the Guild? The second was determination. As long as I had breath in my body, I would not let another innocent die at Mercer Frey's hand because I could not save them. And the third, strange as it may seem, was triumph. Mercer had come here expecting to see two people die. And neither of them would die. Both I and this young stranger would live- live to destroy the man who had betrayed us.

The Khajiit may have spoiled my plans, but that was not through any fault of her own. If there was even a slim chance that I could save her, then I would.

Mercer stepped up to her side, and raised his sword a little way, brandishing it in front of her face, as if trying to torture her as much as possible by showing off the weapon that would end her life. Then he brought back his arm and lunged forwards, driving the sword through her armour and deep into her chest.

I winced, closing my eyes and turning away. I knew from experience the agony that came with a wound like this. And it would not just be pain that tortured her, but confusion, fear and horror. I almost drew my bow and shot Mercer there and then. But I would not shoot a man in the back, even a man like him. That would be to descend to his level, and that was something I would never, never do.

He withdrew his blade and held it up in front of him, as if admiring its coating of blood. He turned his head towards the back of the chamber, and called out to me, victory written on his features.

'Keep running, Karliah!' he called. 'Because I'll find you. And then you'll suffer the same fate as this fool.'

He kicked the Khajiit scornfully, turned his back, and strode from the chamber, in such a business-like he looked more like he had stamped on a spider than stabbed a helpless woman. He turned back as he reached the doorway, as if he wanted to say something more to me, then shook his head and marched off into the darkness.

The shadows swallowed him. And my chance of vengeance was gone.

But he had been wrong. I was not going to keep running. I had run for too long, and too far. I had finally stopped, and I would never run again. I was fighting back, and I would not stop fighting back until he was dead.

Very slowly, I emerged from my hiding place and descended the steps towards the Khajiit. She lay motionless on the cold floor of the tomb. There was a gaping wound in her chest, but only a tiny amount of blood was seeping from it. For a moment, I was confused; then I remembered that my potion had slowed her heartbeat. I blinked. Had my decision to get her out of the way saved her life? It certainly seemed so. That was, if she was even still alive.

I knelt down beside her. 'Forgive me,' I murmured, as I carefully pulled the arrow from her shoulder. 'It was because of me that that happened to you.'

I pressed two fingers to the inside of her neck, seeking her pulse. At first I felt nothing, and my heart clenched as I realised that I might be too late. But after a few seconds, I gave a short sigh of relief as I felt a slow, slow beat beneath her soft, velvety grey fur. She was still alive.

But she wouldn't be for long, unless I helped her.

I reached into my potion bag yet again and pulled out one of my healing brews. It was the most powerful one I possessed- if it wasn't enough to heal the injury that Mercer had dealt her, I doubted that anything would be. As gently as I could, I lifted her head and tipped the potion down her throat. She did not react, but as I watched, the sides of the wound began to merge together, leaving only a thin scar coloured an angry red. The fur around the wound was matted with blood, but at least she had not lost much. She would recover. She would live.

Since she was no longer in any immediate danger, I decided that, for now, I would leave her. There was one more thing I had to do before I left.

I slowly straightened up and forced myself to return to Gallus's… I shuddered. I didn't want to call it a skeleton, even though that was what it was. It seemed so… wrong, somehow. As if I were betraying him by admitting so utterly that he was gone.

I knelt down beside him. It. I tried not to look too closely. I sought only three things. They were all I needed. Then I could go.

With shaking fingers, I unbuckled his belt and placed it on one side. I saw his weapons tucked into their sheathes- the dagger that matched mine, and the sword. I reached down and drew it. Even after all this time, not a speck of rust clung to the blade. It was clear and bright as the day it had been forged. I ran my eyes down its length. It was a wonderful weapon- as strong and beautiful, and, yes, as deadly, as he had been. I returned it to its scabbard and tucked it into my own belt, along with his dagger.

And finally… I looked towards his neck, and gasped.

It wasn't there. The amulet, the one with the black and white birds, the one I had given to him on that New Life festival evening all those years ago. It was gone.

'Mercer,' I whispered, clenching my fists. He must have taken it. What other explanation could there be?

I got to my feet. How dare he? How dare he take it? It belonged to Gallus, and if he was dead, then it belonged to me. What right did he have to take it? How dare he steal it from the body of the friend he had just murdered? Did he truly have no pity, no morals or honour at all?

I let out a long breath. There was no point in dwelling on it. I would get it back soon. When I found him, when I killed him, then it would be returned to me.

And for now, I would have to forget about the past, and not dwell on the future. At this moment in time it was the present that mattered. And at present, there was someone who needed my help.

I bent down beside the Khajiit and lifted her up in my arms. She was lighter than I had expected, but still a deadweight that made it hard to walk and harder still to walk silently. But I had to get her out of these ruins. Neither of us was safe here. That, and I didn't want to spend another second in this place of my nightmares.

I turned my back on the chamber that was the closest thing I had ever countered to Oblivion on Nirn, and began the long trek back to the surface.

* * *

To this day, I don't know how we made it. Of course, three people had passed through the dungeon, and there were few Draugr left living. If 'living' was the right word. But despite that, I still expected something to leap out and attack me with every move I made and every step I took.

But somehow, I finally emerged into the outside world. The night was dark, but dawn was on the way. With the last of my strength fading fast, I staggered over to where I had made my camp and laid the Khajiit down on the snow. She still had not stirred. Clearly, my poison had been just as effective as I had hoped. But now I pulled out another potion vial, the one that contained the antidote. I carefully rubbed it into the wound, then sat back to wait for her to awaken.

I removed Gallus's sword from my belt and laid it on the rocks nearby. I had made a fire earlier, and though it was long dead now, there were still a few bits of dry wood nestled among the ashes. I was reaching into my belt for the shards of flint and steel I carried with me in order to relight it, when I saw something lying on the ground a little way away.

I stood up and walked slowly towards it, a large, dark shape, sprawled motionless on the snow. Snow that was stained crimson. I did not want it to be what I thought it was.

But it was.

'Dusk,' I whispered. My horse lay stretched out on the ground, his throat slashed open, his shining black pelt spattered with blood. His blood. I stared in shock and horror, hardly able to believe what I was seeing. Was Mercer truly ruthless enough to murder a dumb beast?

_Well, of course, _I thought bitterly. _He didn't want me using him to escape, did he?_

I fell to my knees with a wordless cry of pure rage. My horse, the steed that had borne me away from danger so many times, the beast that had been one of my last links with my mother, the only creature who I had been able to trust over the last twenty five years, was dead. Mercer had taken away my home, my family, my lover, and now one of the only friends I had. How much more was he going to take from me?

It was a small thing. Dusk was already old, and he could not have been expected to live much longer anyway. But somehow, it was as if by losing my horse, I had reached the very limit of what a mortal could lose.

I closed my eyes. Mercer had taken yet another innocent life. This, I swore silently, would be his last!

I tore my eyes away from my fallen steed, and looked back at the Khajiit. She still hadn't moved, but somehow I sensed that the antidote was already taking effect. It would not be long before she awakened.

I hadn't taken a proper look at her before, but now I sat down on the rocks again to examine her properly.

I didn't know how the Khajiit rated beauty. Sometimes, when I'd been with Dar'zha and Ma'rhaz, they'd whistled and goggled at a woman of their kind who, to me, looked about as attractive as a dead skeever. But looking at this stranger, I had a feeling that she'd be beautiful no matter what race the beholder was. Her fur was pale grey, nearly white but not quite- the colour of ash. It was thick and downy, and had a smooth, almost silky appearance. It was patterned in a striking array of thin, jet-black stripes, stripes which contrasted starkly to her pale pelt. The tip of her long, velvety-furred tail was white as ice. There was a tiny scar, shaped like a crescent moon, crossing her left eye, and there was a v-shaped nick in her right ear. I had seen in the Sanctum that she wasn't particularly tall, and she didn't look like she possessed much in the area of physical strength- unsurprising, really, as she looked to be fresh out of her teens. But she was slim and wiry, without an ounce of spare flesh on her lithe frame, and I could tell that in battle it would be her speed, not her strength, that brought down her foes.

Because she was a fighter. That was obvious. Not just from the scars, but from her weapons. Strapped to her back was, I noted with some approval, a quiver of ebony arrows, and a bow in the ancient Nord style that had clearly been treated in some way to make it stronger. It had a slight orange glow, as if it were on fire from the inside. Enchanted with fire, I guessed. There was a beautiful glass dagger tucked into her belt, also enchanted- this time with a health absorbing spell. I thought of Elandine with a wistful smile. Could my old friend have been the one to place the magic within these weapons? I shook my head, dismissing the thought. No, Elandine had been in her forties when I joined the Guild. She would be nearly seventy by now. Very few people in Skyrim lived to such an age, and even less people would survive that long in the Guild.

The sound of footfalls on the snow made me get to my feet and turn around. I reached for my bow as I saw a dark grey shape flying over the snow towards me. At first I thought it was a wolf, but as it grew nearer, I felt confusion stir within me as I saw that it was a dog. I lowered my bow with a frown. The dog didn't so much as glance at me, but ran straight to the Khajiit's side, pushing his nose into her fur, clearly desperate to wake her.

I tried to nudge him away, but he bared his teeth at me with a threatening growl, and I stepped backwards. The Khajiit must be his mistress. A cat owning a dog, I thought. Slightly ironic.

Eventually, he gave up his efforts to awaken his owner and flopped down on the snow nearby, keeping his gaze fixed on her. He shot a look at me every so often, and I could tell that if I showed any sign of being a threat to his owner, he would attack instantly. I found myself hoping that she awoke soon. Those teeth looked sharp.

The sky paled slowly, and the stars began to blink out, one by one. And finally, as the first rays of the sun appeared above the hills, the snow-white tip of the Khajiit's tail twitched.

I got to my feet and stood a little way off, watching her. Her ears flicked, and her whiskers trembled slightly. The antidote was finally working.

Her eyes snapped open suddenly, and I felt something stir within me. They were bright amber- the colour of fire, the colour of the sun that even now was beginning to streak the sky with light. The colour of the eyes of the Khajiit in my dream. If I had ever harboured doubts for a second that this stranger was the one, they vanished in that moment.

She moved abruptly, grabbing hold of a tree branch and hauling herself to her feet. I took a half step back, instantly worried. She shouldn't be moving so fast. She could hurt herself.

'Easy, easy,' I told her, and was dimly aware that these were the first words I had spoken to anyone but Enthir, Gulum-Ei, Tsumata, Dusk and Mercer for twenty five years. 'Don't get up so quickly.'

Her head snapped around, and the flame-coloured eyes burned into mine. I resisted the urge to blink, evenly meeting her gaze. She swayed on her feet unsteadily for a moment, then righted herself and placed her hands on her hips, tail still twitching. Instantly the dog jumped to his feet and ran over to her with a joyful bark. She smiled and bent down to his level, stroking his head and crooning in his ears.

'How are you feeling?' I asked, unsure of what else to say.

She turned her head and, giving her dog a final pat, straightened up and looked at me. And to my amazement and confusion, she smiled.

'How am I feeling?' My ears pricked at the sound of her voice. It was soft, light and gentle, with a strange sound to it I could only describe as freedom. 'I'm feeling like a Khajiit who's been shot, poisoned, paralysed and stabbed.'

She had a faint Elsweyr accent- every _r _slightly growled, every _s_ lightly hissed. Despite feeling faintly amused at her response, I didn't smile.

'You shot me.' There was no accusation or anger in her words, merely mild statement of the facts.

For some reason this annoyed me, even if it was true. After all that time I spent making that poison, after all those days I spent dreaming of sending it into Mercer's flesh. I wasted it on her and all she can say is _you shot me? _'No, I saved your life,' I told her- perhaps a little more abruptly than I should have done.

She nodded slowly. 'I know,' she replied. 'The arrow… it was tipped with a paralytic poison?'

I nodded. 'Yes. A unique one. It slowed your heartbeat and prevented you from bleeding out. If I'd intended to kill you, we wouldn't be having this conversation.'

I realised how brash I'd sounded, and mentally kicked myself.

The Khajiit didn't reply at first. She nodded slowly, and touched her shoulder, where my arrow had struck home. Then she lifted up her leather tunic and ran a talon along the thin red line where Mercer's sword had penetrated her flesh.

'You healed me,' she said quietly, letting her tunic drop back down and fixing me with her intense orange gaze.

I nodded shortly.

'And you carried me out.'

I nodded again.

She dipped her head, very, very slowly. Then she crossed her fists over her heart and bowed low.

'Then I'm in your debt,' she told me, closing her eyes.

I frowned. This was a gesture I had seen occasionally from the twins. It was commonly used among their race. It meant respect, it meant admiration, and most of all, it meant gratitude.

'More than you realise,' I told her. 'The poison on that arrow took a year to perfect. I only had enough for a single shot.'

'Oh,' she said, her eyes widening.

I felt rage bubble up inside me. 'All I had hoped was to capture Mercer alive,' I told her, and I heard my own despair in my voice. All of the plans I had made, all that I had been through… and my vengeance was still far, far away.

The Khajiit blinked. 'You didn't kill Gallus,' she said quietly, and again, it was not a question but a statement, a truth. 'It was him. It was Mercer.'

I nodded, knowing that there were no words to say all the things I wanted to say.

'You should have killed him,' she told me, and I saw her ears flatten against her head. Her tail lashed back and forth.

I shook my head. 'Death is too easy for him. He must be brought before the Guild to answer for what he's done. He needs to pay for Gallus's murder.'

The Khajiit's eyes were wide as day. 'He lied to me,' she whispered. 'He lied to all of us. Everything he said… it was all lies.' Her tail still lashed, but the anger in her eyes was mingled with sorrow. 'I trusted him. I never liked him, but I trusted him. I looked up to him, I respected him. He was my Guildmaster. I honoured him.' She sounded amazed. 'And all along, he was lying to us.'

She looked up at me sharply. 'The Guild,' she said abruptly. 'They need to know.'

I nodded. 'Of course they do.'

'But how can we prove it?' Her gaze was fixed on the snow, not on me, as she spoke, and I wasn't sure if she was speaking to herself or to me. I answered anyway.

'My purpose in using Snow Veil Sanctum to ambush Mercer wasn't simply for irony's sake,' I told her. 'This was where Mercer murdered Gallus. The day after tomorrow, it'll be twenty five years since it happened.'

Her eyes were burning into mine now, and her face was serious. She gave me the impression of a solemn student, listening to her teacher.

I fished into my pocket and brought out Gallus's journal. 'Before you and Mercer arrived, I recovered this from Gallus's-' I tried not to stumble over the word- 'remains. His journal.'

Her whiskers twitched. 'And he's written about… about all this?'

I snorted. 'I wish I knew,' I said, holding it out to her so that she could see the inside.

She took it from me and silently turned a few pages. 'It looks familiar,' she said thoughtfully, running a talon down one of the weird symbols. 'It doesn't mean anything to me, but I think I've seen it before.' She glanced up at me, frowning. 'Maybe it could be translated.'

I dipped my head, but despite agreeing with her, I couldn't think of any way we could get it translated. Who was there with the knowledge and the expertise that we could trust?

And then it hit me.

'Enthir!' I gasped.

Her frown deepened. 'Who?'

'Enthir. Gallus's friend at the College of Winterhold.' I shook my head in disbelief that I hadn't thought of him before. 'He was the only outsider Gallus trusted with the knowledge of his Nightingale identity.'

I had said the words without thinking, and now there was no reclaiming them. The Khajiit snapped the journal shut and chewed her lip musingly. 'Nightingales,' she murmured. 'You said that to Mercer. In the tomb. Something about him forgetting his Oath.'

For a moment, I hesitated. I wasn't ready to trust this stranger with the secret. But I had revealed too much already to go back now.

And if I was going to restore the trinity… something told me that this woman, young as she was, would not be the worst choice I could make. Not by a long way.

'There were three of us,' I told her finally. 'Myself, Gallus, and Mercer. We were…' I paused, looking for the right words. 'We were an anonymous splinter of the Thieves Guild in Riften.'

She inclined her head, and seeing a million questions rise in her eyes, I quickly spoke again before she could ask them. 'Perhaps I'll tell you more about it later. For now, you should head to Winterhold with the journal and get the translation.'

I was worried that she would refuse, that she would insist I told her more. But she simply nodded.

'OK,' she said. 'I take it, then, that you're not coming with me.'

I felt a lump rise in my throat as I shook my head. 'I can't. I still have business to attend to here.'

'Gallus,' she said softly, as if she had read my mind.

'He needs to be laid to rest.'

'Of course.' She smiled sadly. 'The other spoke very highly of him, back in the Guild.'

'Of course they did. He was a scholar, a master thief, and a natural leader.' For the first time, I found it an ease to speak to her. Of course I did- I was speaking about Gallus. 'Everyone respected him and obeyed him without question. It was Gallus who inducted me into the Guild, and then into the Nightingales, and honed my skills to a razor sharp point.' I dropped my gaze. 'I owe everything to him,' I whispered, my voice barely audible. And then, after a pause, I added four more words, without knowing why I said them, why I trusted her with them.

'We were…' Again, I searched for the right words. 'Very close.'

The Khajiit's eyes widened with horror. 'Oh,' she whispered. 'I'm so sorry.'

I bit my lip as a wave of emotion swept over me. Sorrow, anger, pain, desperation and hope welled up inside me, and I had to struggle to keep the contained.

'No more sorry than I am,' I told her. I closed my eyes, remembering that night by the lake when he had told me his heart. 'Gallus once said he felt comfortable around me; able to let his guard down. I can't help but think that's I'm responsible for what happened to him.'

That was an understatement. Every second of every minute of every hour of every day, I lived with the knowledge that I could, and should have saved him, and I hadn't.

The Khajiit shook her head. 'How can it be your fault? Mercer did this. How could anyone have stopped him?'

I sighed. 'You weren't there.'

For a moment, we stood in silence. Then the Khajiit spoke up quietly.

'I'm sorry that this happened to you,' she told me, her voice low. 'Please, forgive me any ill thoughts I ever had of you. And know this. You saved my life. I am bound to stand by you for as long as I draw breath.'

She glanced down at her dog. 'Come on, Meeko,' she told him, and he jumped to his feet. 'I'll go straight to Winterhold,' she said. 'I'll find your friend and ask him to translate the journal. And then we'll return to the Guild and tell them the truth.'

I nodded. 'Thank you.'

She dipped her head to me. 'No. Thank you.'

She turned and started to walk away over the snow.

As I turned to gather my gear and head back into the Sanctum, I heard her voice again from behind me.

'J'shana.'

I turned back to her, frowning. 'What?'

She shrugged. 'You didn't ask my name,' she told me. 'But I thought you might like to know it.' She smiled. 'It's J'shana.'

I looked into those amber eyes, and returned her smile.

'An honour to meet you, J'shana.'

'And you.' The tip of her tail flicked, and she spun around and raced away through the trees, her dog bounding at her side.

As I started to head back towards the ruins, I realised something. I was still an exile, a runaway, with no home, no family, no lover, and no vengeance. Not even a horse.

But there was one thing I did have. And that was a friend.

* * *

**So, I hope you enjoyed this introduction to J'shana, and I hope you liked her character. If you didn't, um, sorry. Can't please everyone. I try my best.**

**RIP Dusk. Were there any other horse lovers who got really annoyed with Mercer for that?**

**I actually found it really hard writing this chapter, as it was the first time I've tried to write a scene from the game. It was trickier than I'd expected trying to make everything fit in with what the characters said and did, and then I had to edit what J'shana said so it suited her character, which naturally meant I had to alter Karliah's speech too… so, did I do ok? Please reassure me if you can, because I'm not sure if it's good enough.**

**Anyway, see you next chapter, and thanks for reading!**


	31. Answers

CHAPTER THIRTY

Stop here, as you read these words, stranger. And take a deep, deep look into the hidden places of your heart.

There are many, many people in this world. There are elves, men, and beastfolk. There are mages, warriors and thieves. There are heroes, whose names are honoured, and there are people who work for evil, whose names are despised and feared. There are fighters and there are cowards. There are children, men, women and elders. There are people whose names are written forever in history, and there are people whose names slip from all knowledge, unremembered for all eternity. There are those who live for others, there are those who live for themselves, there are those who live for freedom, there are those who live for despair. And there are some who live for nothing at all.

So many people. Countless tens of hundreds of thousands of millions of people. Nords, Bretons, Redguards and Imperials. Dunmer, Bosmer, Altmer and Orsimer. Argonians and Khajiit. Innumerable, myriad, untold numbers of people.

I am one. Or perhaps, I _was_ one. I may well be gone to join Gallus in Evergloam by the time you read this.

But whether I have or whether I have not, it makes little difference. Of all the people who walk on the surface of this world, I am one, and you are another.

Think about that. Treasure that knowledge. You have life.

And now consider this.

There are so many people in this world, and we will only ever know a handful of them. But a few among that tiny group of people, there are people who we know, who we trust, who we love. People who we can call our friends.

Friend. What does that word mean to you? Does it mean anything at all? Do you understand its meaning?

Do you possess friends? Are there people in your life who you would trust with all that you hold dear? Are there people whom you would follow into the depths of Oblivion? Are there people for whom you would take an arrow or a sword thrust, for whom you would lay down your life without a moment's thought?

Perhaps you do not consider it so deeply as I considered it that morning, as I made my way back through the tomb towards that dim chamber where Gallus lay. Perhaps you take your friends, if you have them, for granted. They are simply always there, and you have never wondered about how they came to be there. You have never realised what a great gift they are to you.

So who am I, you think, to challenge this? I am nobody, of course. I do not know your name, nor who you are, nor where you come from. I do not know how you see the people who are closest to you. But I speak with the voice of someone, who, for many, many years, had not a single friend.

Or perhaps I did. But then, many of them thought me a murderer and a traitor. I would always be their friend, but they were mine no longer. There was Enthir, but he could not help me, for fear of endangering his own life. I had no right to put him in danger. I had Dusk, but, much as I loved him, loyal as he was, he was only a horse. He could not speak to me, comfort me, or understand how I felt. He could not relieve my pain.

No. For twenty five years, my friends were either dead, or I was dead to them.

And that was why it was one of the most joyous moments of my life to know that after a quarter century, there was at last someone who I could trust. Someone who could, and would, and did, trust me. Someone who would not judge me, someone who would not hate me, someone who would stand by me, no matter what might befall us.

If I had lost hope when I sent that arrow flying towards J'shana, it was rekindled as she smiled at me, and told me her name.

Perhaps you think that I am being foolish. But you cannot know until you have experienced it what it is to be friendless and alone.

Imagine yourself without anyone to love you. Imagine yourself without a single friend.

What sort of a life is one where other people who you care for do not play a part? That was the life I lived in between those two visits to Snow Veil Sanctum. When I look back on it, all these years later, I think perhaps that was why I was able to forget my love for Gallus, to forget my purpose for living. Because there was nobody there who could remind me, who could help to set my feet back on the right path.

If there had been someone by my side throughout those dark years, I think perhaps I would have had my vengeance long, long before I did.

I cannot know now. I will never know.

But I do know this. The knowledge that I was no longer alone eased some of the pain I carried in my heart, and gave me life again. My mind was clear, my resolve strong. I knew, as I saw the tip of that snow-white tail vanish among the trees, that I had not only gained a friend. I had gained a future once again. Until I met J'shana of Elsweyr, I had never looked beyond the death of Mercer Frey. My dreams had taken me, so many times, to some distant moment when I stood over his body. But after that, they had shown nothing but darkness.

But the knowledge that I was no longer alone in my quest allowed me to look beyond that. I saw the Nightingales rebuilt, the Key returned, the Guild flourishing. I saw myself back with my friends from former days, forgiven and welcomed home. I saw Gallus set free, allowed to finally be given the reward he so deserved. I saw the day when I would die, and returned once more to him.

I still do see that day. It draws closer with every passing hour. I do not know when it will be. I only hope that I will see him again when it comes.

* * *

I will not tell you of the struggle that followed after we parted. I will not speak of my struggle to carry what little was left of Gallus from the ruins, out of the darkness where he had lain for far, far too long. It was perhaps one of the darkest times of my life, and certainly the time that I wept most. But finally, I carried him into the light, into the golden dawn, and set him down on the snow.

I had neither the time nor the tools to bury him, to lay him to rest properly. There was only one way that I could put his spirit at peace.

Very slowly, the last of my tears turning to ice on my cheeks as I worked, I managed to drag a heap of branches together. It was a struggle to find wood, and I knew that it would be hard to light it, wet with snow as it was. But I did not consider giving up for a moment. I had to do this. For Gallus, I had to do it. He needed to be laid to rest. My honour and my love for him demanded that I saw his remains treated with honour at last, after all those years they had spent lying in the dust of an evil, shadowy tomb.

Finally, I managed to lift him onto the pyre, along with the body of my fallen steed. It seemed like hours before I managed to light a branch, for every time I managed to make a spark, it was instantly blown out of existence by the icy wind. But finally, I held a burning branch in my hand, and I stood before the pile of wood, staring wordlessly at the bodies of the friend who had, though he could not speak nor understand me, had stood by me when no others had, and the man who had stolen my soul and ran off with my heart, the man who I had loved far, far more than life itself.

I closed my eyes and tossed the branch onto the pyre. For a moment, little happened. Then the fire spread across the wood, slowly because of the wetness, but finally building up into a roaring inferno.

I stood before it, gazing into the dancing flames. I watched the embers rising and falling, and it was almost, for a few moments, as if I stood beside the hearth in that house where I had lived with my mother, listening to the magic of one of her tales.

I did not cry as I watched the fire take them. I had no tears left to cry. There was such emptiness in my heart that I could not have shed any even if I'd had any.

What I did do was speak.

'Dusk,' I said quietly. 'Thank you for staying true to me. Even after I left you with Enthir, it was a comfort, however small to know that you were still there, still loyal, still faithful to me.' I sighed. 'You served both my mother and I with courage and loyalty. You did not deserve a death like this. I don't know where animals go when they die. But I'm certain that the Divines will lead you to happiness. It's no more than you deserve.'

The fire leaped around his dark form. I closed my eyes.

'Gallus,' I murmured. 'What can I say that I have not already said to you before? I'm so, so sorry that it has to be this way. This is not good enough for you. If I could, I would give you a proper funeral, with all the honours you deserve. But that cannot be.'

I bowed my head. 'I don't think I can say anything else. I know that you cannot hear me. But remember, please, wherever you are, that I love you, and that I am sorry, and that I will avenge you. And one more thing. Never, never again, will I forget that I love you. Never.'

The snow fell. The fire burned. My words echoed around the woodlands.

I turned my back on the blaze, and began the long journey towards Winterhold.

* * *

I arrived as the sun reached its peak on the horizon.

The citizens of Winterhold glanced curiously as I passed, and I silently prayed to the Divines that they would not recognise my battered Guild armour. The last thing I needed now was to be stopped and challenged by some idiot do-gooder.

I wasn't sure where Enthir would be. He'd probably be either in the College or the Frozen Hearth. I didn't dare enter the College- nobody did, without invitation. I had no desire to be torn apart by flame atronachs, so I decided to try the inn first. It was more likely that he'd be there- after all, J'shana would have told him, if she had found him, that I was coming, which meant that he would be waiting for me in a place that I would be able to get to.

I walked over to the Frozen Hearth and pushed open the door. I shook snow from my boots as I looked around for Enthir. He would be here somewhere, I was sure- probably enjoying a warm drink. I know that would be what I'd do on a freezing day like this.

I took a few steps inside. I couldn't see him, and was wondering if I should ask the innkeeper if he'd seen him when I heard his voice behind me.

'We can't talk here. It's too open. Come down to the basement.'

I nodded and followed him past the bar. The innkeeper looked at is inquisitively as we walked by him. 'Who's your friend, Enthir?'

_Shut up, _I thought.

'Old acquaintance. Helping me out with my research. She's not staying,' Enthir said briskly.

'Pity. I could do with the coin. If she's planning on helping you out with your spells, make sure you cast the fancy magic someplace else.'

'That won't be a problem,' Enthir told him firmly, leading the way down the stairs.

The moment the door was shut and we were out of sight, Enthir let out a sigh of relief and gave me one of his wonky grins. 'Well, looks like your madcap scheme worked after all.'

I laughed. 'It's good to see you again, Enthir.' I had visited him not long ago, when I went to get Dusk, and I'd told him of my plans then. It had warmed my heart to see him again, but even then I had known that I was putting him at risk. Soon, I hoped, I would be able to visit him without the fear that he'd end up with a dagger in his back.

'And you.' He rubbed his hands together. 'Looks like you've made a friend.'

I nodded. 'J'shana. Is she here?'

To my surprise, he shook his head. 'No. She's gone.'

I blinked. Why would she leave? 'Gone? Gone where?'

'She hasn't abandoned you, if that's what you're thinking.' Enthir pulled Gallus's journal from his pocket and held it up. 'She's gone to Markarth.'

'Markarth?' I stared at him in confusion. 'Why Markarth of all places?'

'Long story.' Enthir opened the journal and turned it around so that I could see the writing. 'You don't know what language this is, right?'

'No. Gallus was always the scholar, not me.'

'Wouldn't expect you to know.' Enthir wandered over to a nearby desk and set the journal down on top of it. 'It's Falmer,' he told me. 'This was the script they used before they became the creatures they are today. It's not much use to them now, since they can't see to write.'

Falmer. Of course. I remembered how, back in Irkgnthand, Gallus had told me how he had learned to read and write the long-forgotten language. 'I should have guessed,' I said resignedly.

'Typical Gallus, huh?' Enthir gave a wry grin. 'Now, I can't translate this. Far as I'm concerned, it's gibberish. Makes as much sense as a sword made of sweetrolls. I could translate if it were Aldmer, or Orcish, or Ta'agra, or Yoku, or even Jel, but I never saw fit to learn Falmer. But there is someone who might be able to translate it. Calcelmo, the court mage in Understone Keep. Which means Markarth.'

I nodded slowly. 'Calcelmo. I'm guessing a High Elf, with a name like that.'

Enthir nodded. 'An Altmer, yes, and an expert on the Dwemer. He's been researching them for years. He's even making a Dwemer museum. And I'm certain that he knows more about the Falmer language than anyone else- apart, of course, from our departed friend Gallus.'

He sat down and leaned back on his chair. 'Your young Khajiit friend's been gone a few hours now. I've no idea how long she'll be. It's a long journey from here to Markarth.'

Silence fell. And we waited.

We waited. We talked, a little. Of Gallus, of the Guild, of days gone by. Enthir let me borrow the copy of _Racial Phylogeny _that Gallus had found a mistake in. The hours stretched by. I slept, for a while, exhausted by the events of the previous night and from my recent lack of sleep. Enthir practiced a few spells. I fiddled with the buckles of my tunic. Time passed. And we waited.

'J'shana must be nearly back by now,' Enthir said eventually, as the sun set.

I bit my lip. 'Divines grant that she's safe.'

He frowned at me. 'How'd you pick her up? She wouldn't say, just that she knew the truth and that she needed my help.'

I sighed. 'My plan didn't work,' I said quietly. 'Or it did. Just not in the way I'd planned.'

'So you didn't get your hands on Mercer?'

'No. I didn't get my hands on Mercer. When I do, they'll be round his throat.'

We sat in an uneasy silence for a moment.

'He was one step ahead. As usual,' I said finally. 'He'd already worked out my plan. He lured J'shana there so that I couldn't attack him without hurting her. I had to shoot her instead of him.'

Enthir winced. 'That's a promising start to a friendship,' he said sarcastically.

I snorted. 'Maybe not, but it saved her life. Mercer tried to murder her. She knew too much; she had to be silenced. So he put his sword through her chest when she couldn't fight back. Just like he did with Gallus.'

Enthir's fists clenched.

'I carried her out of the ruins and healed her. The poison stopped her dying of blood loss. She agreed to help me reveal the truth to the Guild. So here we are.'

'Here we are,' Enthir agreed.

'Yes,' came a weary voice, 'Here we are.'

I jumped up and spun around, to see J'shana standing in the doorway, Meeko by her side. There were specks of blood on her silver fur, and as she walked towards us, her paces were unsteady. But it was her, and she was alive. And, I thought with a quiver of excitement, she would have the answers.

'That was quicker than I'd expected,' Enthir said, getting to his feet.

J'shana smiled. 'I have a fast horse.'

'You must,' I told her.

She shrugged. 'Are you OK?' she asked. 'You didn't have any trouble on the way here?'

'None,' I told her. 'But what about you? You're hurt.'

She shook her head. 'It's nothing.'

'So, how was our friend Calcelmo?' Enthir asked, raising an eyebrow.

'He pretty much refused to let me look at his museum,' she said grimly. 'So I had to live up to my name as Thieves Guild member.'

'Meaning you broke in,' Enthir commented dryly.

The corner of her mouth twitched. 'I might have done. Anyway, this should help translate Gallus's journal.'

She held out a grubby roll of paper. I blinked at it, not quite able to believe that this scrap of parchment was our only hope.

'I suppose it would be inappropriate to ask how exactly you obtained this,' Enthir told her, taking it from her hand, 'so I simply won't.' He unrolled it, and frowned. 'A rubbing, eh? Odd. I expected notes.'

'It's a long story,' J'shana replied. 'Quite the tale, in fact.' She smiled as if at some secret joke.

'I can imagine,' Enthir said wryly. 'Now, let me take a good look at this. Over here, if you please.'

He marched over to his desk, pinned the scroll flat with a few books, and picked up Gallus's journal. Slowly, he started flicking through it, scribbling down the translation on a clean piece of parchment as he went.

'You should only need the last few pages,' I told him.

He nodded. 'Yes, I'm aware of that.' His eyes narrowed. 'Well. This is intriguing, but highly disturbing.'

I shivered, suddenly aware that I was holding my breath.

'It appears,' Enthir continued, 'that Gallus had suspicions about Mercer Frey's allegiance to the Guild for months.'

'I know that,' I told him quietly.

He didn't look up. 'Gallus had begun to uncover what he calls…' He checked his notes. ''An unduly lavish lifestyle replete with spending vast amounts of gold on personal pleasures.''

'Replete?' J'shana muttered.

'Filled with,' Enthir explained.

J'shana's tail flicked. 'Well, if he meant filled with, why didn't he say filled with?'

I couldn't hold back a chuckle. 'Because that was Gallus.' I took a step forward. 'Does the journal say anything about where the wealth came from?'

Enthir jotted down a few more sentences, spraying us all with ink in his haste. 'Yes,' he said grimly. 'Gallus seems certain that Mercer had been removing funds from the Guild's treasury without anyone's knowledge.'

J'shana gasped. 'He's stolen from the Guild?'

Her horror was matched by my own. This was news to me. Hadn't it been enough for Mercer to murder Gallus and take over the Guild, without robbing my family of every Septim as well? And yet, I felt a flicker of triumph. This was the proof we needed. The Guild would be able to recognise Gallus's handwriting, even if it was written in Falmer. They would have no choice but to accept the truth once we showed them this. I forced myself to restrain my fury and excitement. 'Anything else, Enthir?' I asked, trying my best to keep my voice steady. 'Anything about… the Nightingales?'

I saw J'shana's amber eyes narrow.

'Hmm. Yes, here it is.' Enthir turned a few pages. 'The last few pages seem to describe 'the failure of the Nightingales' although it doesn't go into great detail.' He frowned with confusion. 'Gallus also repeatedly mentions his strong belief that Mercer had desecrated something known as the…' He glanced at his translation. 'The Twilight Sepulchre.'

'Shadows preserve us.' My heart missed a beat. 'So it's true.'

Of course it was true. Why would Nocturnal have lied to me? I just hadn't wanted to believe it.

'I'm… I'm not familiar with the Twilight Sepulchre.' Enthir put down the journal, looking perplexed. 'What is it? What's Mercer Frey done?' He snarled the name, his voice rising with anger.

I shook my head, suddenly unable to meet his gaze. 'I'm sorry, Enthir. I can't say. All that matters is that we deliver your translation to the Guild immediately.'

I swallowed down my anger and fear. 'Farewell, Enthir,' I told him, my voice low. 'Words can't express…'

Clearly they couldn't, because my voice trailed off.

There was understanding in his eyes when I looked up. 'It's all right, Karliah,' he told me, in the manner of a teacher comforting his favourite student. 'You don't have to say a word.'

He turned to J'shana, his gaze intense. 'Listen up, kid,' he told her. 'All I want is for the truth to be revealed to the Guild.' He glanced at me, then added, 'They respected Karliah, and she deserves better than this. Do whatever you can, and I'll consider it a personal favour. For Gallus's sake, as well as our own.'

I smiled sadly, touched by his sympathy and kindness.

'Of course.' J'shana dipped her head. 'Thank you, Enthir.'

'Don't mention it,' he replied, his lopsided smile back on his face. 'Fortune smile on you both.'

I nodded, but deep inside I knew that fortune came only from one person. And until I regained her favour, luck would not be on our side.

* * *

We started on the road to Riften in silence. Night was settling fast, and the air was cold as ice, but we walked quickly- so quickly that Meeko, bounding along beside us, had to struggle to keep up. Both of us shared the other's desperation to return to the Guild before Mercer could do any more damage to them.

We had been walking for about an hour when J'shana spoke up. 'Karliah…'

'J'shana?'

She hurried forwards to walk beside me. 'Gallus's journal. It mentioned Twilight Sepulchre. What is it?'

I sighed. 'You've come this far,' I told her. 'I don't suppose there's any harm in telling you.'

'You can trust me,' she said firmly. 'And if you can't trust me, trust my loyalty to the Guild. They're practically the only family I have. I'll die before I see them fall to Mercer's treachery.

I hesitated, uncertain of how, and indeed how much, to tell her. I did trust her. I trusted her completely, in a way I had trusted no one for twenty five years. But this was a dangerous secret. Telling her too much could put the life of my only current ally at risk.

'The Twilight Sepulchre is the temple to Nocturnal,' I said finally. 'It's what the Nightingales are sworn to protect with their lives.' _Among other things, _I added silently.

'Nocturnal?' J'shana sounded surprised. 'The Daedric Prince, Nocturnal?'

I nodded.

'Not again,' the Khajiit muttered.

'What do you mean?'

'I seem to have a way of making Daedra hate me.'

She didn't elaborate, so I shrugged and continued. 'Everything that represents Nocturnal's influence is contained within the walls of the Sepulchre. That's why it requires such a large amount of protection. Now it seems Mercer's broken his Oath to Nocturnal and defiled the very thing he swore to protect.'

'Thieves and temples.' The tip of my companion's tail twitched. 'I don't know much about this, but I know enough to know that thieves are generally not particularly religious.'

I smiled. 'I felt the same way when Gallus first revealed these things to me,' I told her, remembering my initial confusion as we rode towards Nightingale Hall. 'I think, given time, you'll understand what I mean.'

She gave me a look that could have had a thousand meanings. 'I think I might understand better if less mystery were involved,' she said frankly.

I couldn't help but admire her spirit. But I couldn't tell her any more. Even if I was no longer a Nightingale, it seemed wrong to break my Oath and divulge the full secret. 'As a Nightingale, I was sworn to secrecy regarding the Sepulchre. I know our line of work doesn't do much to inspire faith, but I'm going to have to ask that you continue to trust me.'

I expected her to protest, but to my surprise she simply nodded. 'OK. I can understand that.'

She smiled at me, seeing my surprise. 'You saved my life, and it's not for me to question your motives.' She paused, then added, 'What's more, what Mercer has done, is doing, and is trying to do is wrong. It's the most wrong thing I've ever known. He's betrayed the Guild and murdered his Guildmaster. I'm not asking questions. I'm serving my family and bringing him to justice.'

I stopped and looked at her. I looked at her honest, determined face, and the glint of purpose in those flame-coloured eyes. And I made a decision.

'J'shana,' I said quietly, 'I'd like you to have this.'

I reached down to my belt and undid the clasps that held the sheath of Gallus's sword in place. I pulled it free and held it out to her.

Her eyes widened. Carefully, she took it from my hands and drew the sword. The light of the twin moons reflected on the blade as she held it up, admiring its sleek, deadly form.

'It was Gallus's,' she said softly. It was a question, but the way she said it, flat and certain, made it clear that she already knew the answer.

'Yes,' I replied. 'Given the circumstances, I think he'd like you to have it.'

I didn't just think, I was sure. I knew that Gallus would have liked this fierce, quiet, serious Khajiit. She was wise yet brave, loyal yet independent. She had all the virtues he had valued.

She twirled it around in her hand and swung it a few times. I could tell instantly from the way she balanced and moved with the swings that she knew how to use a sword. The blade cut through the moonlight with a whistle of wind. J'shana smiled, fastened the scabbard to her belt, and sheathed the sword.

'Thank you,' she said, smiling. 'I'll put it to good use.'

Her words couldn't help but set of a spark of unease inside me. 'If the Guild won't listen to reason, you may have to.'

Her face grew grim.

As we moved off again, I couldn't stop myself from wondering about what I had just said. If the evidence we had obtained wasn't enough, if the Guild didn't believe us, then they would attack for certain. And could either of us raise our weapons against our friends?

I shivered, but swallowed down my anxiety. I had to go on believing. I had to have faith that this would work. I had to place my fate in the hands of the Divines and trust that they would do the right thing.

At least I wouldn't be doing it alone.

The night grew deeper still, and we walked on.

* * *

**Hey, people! Thanks for reading, as usual. :D**

**If anyone's wondering why J'shana doesn't speak in the typical Khajiit way, it's because after she arrived in Skyrim, she made an effort to learn how to speak the way other races do, in order to make herself more accepted.**

**So, the return to the Guild next chapter. I promise to get it up soon! **


	32. Return

**Hello again, readers!**

**Heavy editing has taken place with the events of this chapter. I'm sure I'm not alone in thinking that the scripted conversation that happens when Karliah returns to the guild is, well, a little rushed. I've always thought that the others believed too readily. And also, like I've already said, it doesn't fit with J'shana's character, so I've changed it quite a bit. I hope nobody minds.**

**Anyway, here it is!**

* * *

CHAPTER THIRTY ONE

'We're here.'

J'shana's tail swished with eagerness as the dark smudge of the city loomed up ahead of us, and I couldn't miss the anticipation in her words. I couldn't share her excitement. The knowledge that I was about to face the people I'd been running from for a quarter century, the people who thought of me as a traitor and a murderer, the people who would gladly kill me the moment they saw me, was more than enough to blight my desire to return to my home, and reveal the truth.

I hadn't realised that I'd been staying clear of Riften until I saw it appear on the horizon. Strange, really. I'd been wandering the wilderness of Skyrim for twenty five years, and yet, somehow, despite it being my home, I'd always avoided Riften, without really thinking about it. My fear of encountering any Guild members had always subconsciously kept me away… that, and my reluctance to face my past.

But now, I had finally stopped trying to outrun everything I'd left behind. I had returned. And I would put things right.

We made our way over to the gates. The sun was beginning to show above the horizon, and my skin prickled as I realised something.

'Tomorrow,' I said quietly.

J'shana looked at me in confusion. 'What about tomorrow?'

I bit my lip. 'Tomorrow, it'll be exactly twenty five years since Mercer killed Gallus.'

The Khajiit looked thoughtful. 'Strange. We might bring Mercer to justice on the anniversary of the day that he chose to betray us all.'

'Fate's artistic,' I told her, and she shrugged.

We neared the gates. The guards were leaning against the walls, talking to each other. Despite their helmets, which obscured their faces, I recognised their stances and their voices. I groaned.

'It would have to be them,' I muttered.

'Who? The guards?' J'shana looked at them in confusion. 'What's your problem with them?'

'I'm fine with guards, as long as they look away when I steal. It's just those two.'

J'shana's whiskers twitched. 'Why those two in particular?'

I pointed at the one on the left. 'That one's in the pay of the Guild. I had a slight disagreement with him when I first came to Riften.'

'What sort of disagreement?'

'It involved an apple and a dagger. Long story. And that one,' I added, pointing at the second, 'I encountered asleep in the wilderness back when I was with the Guild. It was too good an opportunity to miss, so I stole his purse. Unfortunately he woke up and chased me, so I shot him in the knee. And then, for some reason, he became a Hold guard.'

J'shana stopped dead. 'You're not serious.'

I frowned. 'What?'

'Every time,' she hissed, 'and I mean _every _damn time I come through this gate, that idiot tells me he used to be an adventurer like me, and then he took an arrow in the knee. I don't care, I don't want to know, and it's not even funny. Have I stopped being a thief because I've been stabbed in the chest? No! It's ridiculous! All because of you!'

'Sorry,' I said dryly. 'I don't think I was considering whether or not he'd go on to infuriate the Guild members of the future when I tried to stop him from killing me.'

She laughed, and for a moment, the tension that hung over us both lifted.

We pointedly ignored the guards as we opened the gate and strode forwards into the city, but it didn't stop the one on the left from calling out after me. 'Wait. I know you!'

'You know nothing!' J'shana snapped, and slammed the gate shut.

For the first time in twenty five years, I stood in the city that had become my home.

But it had changed so much I barely recognised it.

When I had first entered it, all those years before, it had taken my breath away. Having grown up among a small mining village, I had never seen so many people in my life. The sounds, the colours, the never-ending flow of people, the crowds that had clustered the streets and made it hard to move… they were gone. All gone.

The marketplace stood almost deserted. Only a few lone people wandered amongst the stalls, and they hardly even glanced at the goods on sale. The merchants stood silently over their wares, not shouting, not calling out, not advertising their merchandise to the world, as they always had done. Their faces were taut and grim, as if they were witnessing their lives falling apart in front of their eyes. The streets, which had always been packed with people, were empty. The never-ending babble of voices and laughter had faded into nothingness, and there was almost no sound apart from the steady gurgling of the canal, the clang of the blacksmith's hammer, and the swish and _thunk _of a woodcutter's axe. A few low murmurs in soft voices, feet thumping on the wooden walkways, the occasional call of a bird, high above. That was all.

The city had died.

I stood stock still, staring in shock at the scene that lay before me. How could this have happened? What misfortunes had befallen my city to make this happen to it?

J'shana realised I was no longer following and turned around, her expression concerned. 'Are you all right?'

I wasn't certain whether to nod or shake my head. 'What… what happened to this place?'

'What do you mean?' She looked confused.

'It… it was never like this before. Never. It was crammed with people. You could hardly hear yourself think, let alone speak. Why has it died?'

'The city?' J'shana shook her head. 'I don't know. The others talked about times when it was full of life and everyone was happy, but I've never known anything different. I've only been with the Guild a few years. Riften was like this when I came here.'

I shook my head in disbelief. 'It's dead,' I told her softly. 'Dead.'

She swallowed, and I could see she didn't know what to say.

'Let's go,' I told her finally, tearing my eyes away from the heartbreaking scene. 'The ratways are still there, aren't they?'

'Of course.' She sounded faintly amused.

'Sorry. It's just, after seeing this, I wouldn't be surprised if you told me that the Thalmor had just decided to start worshipping Talos.'

She chuckled. 'No, the ratways are there, all right.'

I nodded. 'Then let's go.'

We made our way down to the pier that stretched along the side of the canal, where a dim torch lit up the ratway entrance. I hesitated as I reached for the handle. There was no denying that I was afraid of what we would find waiting for us in the Flagon.

'It'll be OK,' J'shana said from behind me, as if she had somehow heard my thoughts. 'I know you walking into the Cistern won't go down well with the others. But I'm with you. No matter what.'

I turned around to look at her properly. Amber and indigo met.

'J'shana,' I said softly. 'I'm sorry for putting you in danger like this. I've no right to ask you to risk your life for me.' I bowed my head. 'I'll never be able to stop owing you for this.'

'You saved me from Mercer. You owe me nothing. And it's not just for you; it's for the Guild. My home. My family.' J'shana placed her hands on her hips. 'I couldn't live with myself if I let Mercer do this to them. What's more, it's my life to risk, isn't it?'

I had no argument to that. All I could do was smile, nod, and push open the door to the ratway.

We moved off into the darkness together, Meeko racing a little way ahead of us. Every so often he stopped and turned around, as if to make sure we were still following. I was glad he was with us. It was hard to get from one end of the ratway to the other without being molested by skeevers. The presence of a large, shaggy war-dog might dissuade the vermin from coming near us.

It was darker than I remembered, and I had almost forgotten the way through the winding passages. J'shana, to whom darkness made no difference, went before me. I noticed that her footsteps were noiseless. She almost seemed to glide over the ground. I could see why the Guild had wanted her.

'How exactly did you come to join the Guild?' I asked her, as we rounded a corner.

She smiled. 'Brynjolf.'

'He's still with the Guild?' I remembered what Mercer had said in the Sanctum, about giving Brynjolf J'shana's regards. _I wonder what he'll have told them happened to her._

J'shana nodded. 'Acutally, he's second in command.'

I blinked. 'Brynjolf's second?' I couldn't help but blink in disbelief.

'Yes.' J'shana smiled. 'I guess that means he'll be Guildmaster now. And as a matter of fact, I'm his protégé.'

'You are?'

'Yes. You know him?'

'I was his mentor.'

She looked at me thoughtfully. 'Brynjolf trained me, and you trained Brynjolf. So in a way, that means you trained me.'

I smiled. It was a nice thought, the notion that I had played a part in honing her skills. 'Gallus taught me, too,' I added. 'So some of the skills you know came from him.' My mother, too, I thought, though I didn't say it out loud.

J'shana nodded. 'The way you balance your weight when you sneak,' she said musingly. 'I do it that way too. Bryn taught me. I guess you taught him.'

'And Gallus taught me.' I remember his patient voice. '_Slowly, Karliah. Gently. Focus on where you're putting your feet. Shift your weight slightly to the left… that's perfect. I defy the sharpest-eared guard in Skyrim to hear you now.'_

Meeko let out a soft bark, and I looked up to see that we had reached the door of the Flagon. All my fears came flooding back. What if they didn't believe us? What if Mercer was there to deny it? What if they simply killed us both?

J'shana stepped in front of me. 'I should go first,' she said quietly. 'That way, if anyone tries to get at you, they won't be able to for fear of hurting me.'

I stared at her. 'I can't ask you to do that.'

'You don't need to ask. It's common sense. I'm doing it whether you like it or not.' Her eyes narrowed. 'Anyone who wants to hurt you has to go through me first.' She glanced down at the dog beside her with a grin. 'And Meeko.'

I nodded. 'Are you ready to face them?'

'More than ready. But what if… what if Mercer's there?'

She had asked the question I had been asking myself, the question I had hoped she wouldn't ask. 'Then we show them Gallus's journal and hope for the best. Remember, we have proof, and all he's got is his word.'

_And the entire Guild at his back, _I thought uneasily.

J'shana's tail lashed. 'Then let's go.'

She pushed open the door.

To my relief, the Flagon was largely deserted. A few Guild members, people I didn't recognise, sat around, but they were mostly deep in conversation or distracted at the bar. My eyes sought out familiar faces, but all I saw were strangers.

'We should find Bryn,' J'shana said quietly. 'He's the most likely to believe us. Maybe he's in the Cistern.'

'Whatever we do,' I told her, keeping my voice low, 'we have to do it quickly, before anyone works out who I am.'

'Then let's just go to the Cistern. That's where he's most likely to be.'

'Keep your eyes open,' I told her. 'I'm not sure what to expect when we go inside.'

Even Meeko walked slowly and warily as we made our way past the Guild members, towards the Cistern door. I think he somehow sensed our tension, our anxiety. We were so, so near to success, but one wrong move, one foolish decision, could destroy everything instantly.

I don't know how we arrived at the Cistern door without being stopped. Perhaps because the Guild members were mostly too engrossed in what they were doing to notice us. At one point, my heart nearly stopped when a young Breton cast a curious look at us, but before he could say anything someone called to him from the other side of the Flagon, and he turned away.

J'shana hesitated, just as I had at the entrance to the ratways, as she turned the handle. 'I guess this is it.'

'This is it,' I agreed. 'Whatever happens now, you should know that I can never thank you enough for what you've done.'

'Nor I you,' she replied simply. She breathed in deeply. 'Divines guide us, and the twin moons light our path,' she murmured, and shoved the door open.

I had been truthful with J'shana. I did not know what to expect when we entered the Cistern.

All I knew was that I had to face whatever came with courage and honour.

J'shana walked ahead of me, Meeko, as ever, by her side. I followed, resisting the urge to draw my dagger, into the great chamber where I had spent so many joyful days.

I saw them straight away. Their heads turned as they heard the door open, and I found myself looking into three faces I had never expected to see again. Those of Delvin, Vex and Brynjolf.

Delvin had changed little, though the passing of the years was clear on his face, and there was a haunted expression in his eyes. Vex bore little resemblance to the feisty, scruffy teenager I remembered from the days when Mercer had brought her to the Flagon for the first time. She was taller, her eyes like chips of ice, and she had become startlingly pretty. I would have said that she was attractive if not for the ferocious glint in her eyes and the leer of hatred that came over her face the moment she saw me. Brynjolf was taller than I remembered him, and his dark ginger hair had grown longer. But it was definitely him. It was definitely all of them. Three people I had worked with, lived with, laughed with, trained with, sung with, and smiled with. My Guild siblings. My friends.

I saw joy spark in Brynjolf's eyes as he saw J'shana and amazement on the faces of Delvin and Vex. Mercer must have told them that I had killed her. But as they turned their faces towards me, I saw them recognise me, saw their smiles drop, saw cold, pure hatred creep over their faces. As one, they reached down to their belts and drew their daggers. Three blades glinted in the torchlight.

I resisted the desire to reach for my own, and forced myself to stand firm. J'shana subtly moved herself in front of me, shielding me with her body. Meeko crouched down, his hackles raised. He was growling.

Vex and Delvin glared at me as if unable to believe that I could have the daring to walk right into their home. Brynjolf, however, only glanced at me for a second before stepping forwards and fixing J'shana with a furious, hard gaze. 'You'd better have a damn good reason for coming back here with that _murderer,' _he snarled, spitting out the final word. His hand gripped his dagger so tightly that I was surprised he didn't shatter the handle.

'Bryn, stop!' J'shana's ears were flat back against her head. 'You don't understand.'

Meeko let out a low, threatening bark.

I swallowed and took a pace towards them. 'Please,' I said, trying to keep the desperation from my voice, 'lower your weapons so that we can speak.'

Vex's face twisted into a sneer, and Delvin stared at me as if I were some sort of mutant skeever. But very slowly, Brynjolf returned his dagger to its sheath and nodded. I breathed again.

'No tricks, Karliah,' he growled, staring at me with eyes like flint, 'or I'll cut you down where you stand.'

I shivered. _He would, too, _I thought. _Right now, he hates me enough to kill me without a moment's hesitation. _

'You'll do no such thing.' There was such vehemence in J'shana's voice that I blinked in surprise. Never before had I heard her sound so fierce. 'Anyone who wants to lay a finger on Karliah does it over my dead body.'

Expressions of incredulousness came over the faces of my three former Guildmates, and they looked at each other as hoping they would see the cure to their confusion written on the faces of their friends.

'Mercer said you were dead.' Delvin was looking at J'shana now. His bafflement was clearly mixed with suspicion, and though his knife was sheathed, there was danger in his every movement. 'Why'd he lie?'

'Because everything that Mercer told you was a lie,' I told them, looking into their hate-filled eyes without blinking.

Brynjolf's brow creased. 'You're right, lass,' he said, frowning at J'shana. 'I sure as Oblivion don't understand.'

J'shana glanced at me, then turned back to the others and spoke clearly and fearlessly. 'Mercer didn't lie,' she said. 'At least, he thought it was true. He thought I was dead, because he was the one who tried to kill me.'

Brynjolf stared at her as if she'd sprouted an extra head. Vex's eyes narrowed into slits, and her grip on the dagger she still held tightened. Delvin looked as if we'd just told him that the Dark Brotherhood had changed their emblem to a fluffy rabbit.

The silence stretched on and on, until finally Brynjolf voiced what they were all clearly thinking. 'What?'

'You heard me. Mercer tried to kill me.'

Brynjolf swallowed hard. 'Lass, surely you're mistaken-'

She fixed him with a withering look. 'Bryn, do you think I can't tell when someone tries to murder me?'

'But lass, why-?'

J'shana lifted her head. 'I saw and heard too much,' she replied evenly. 'So I had to be silenced.'

'Silenced?' Brynjolf shook his head in perplexity. 'Lass-'

'Karliah didn't kill Gallus,' J'shana broke in, folding her arms.

I nodded and stepped up to her side.

'Mercer did,' I said.

And silence fell, so deep and so profound that it could have been cut with a knife.

As I watched the faces of my former friends, I knew that this was it. This was the moment we either succeeded or failed. I waited for them to respond, knowing that they would either demand an explanation… or tear us to pieces.

Meeko's growl shattered the silence, and as if it had been a trigger, Brynjolf slowly shook his head. 'No,' he said simply, and I knew that I had just taken his world in my hands and flipped it upside down. 'No.'

'Yes,' J'shana replied.

'No!' Brynjolf was angry now, and his anger was directed at me. 'What have you been saying to her?' he snarled, his voice filled with loathing. 'What lies have you been filling her head with?'

'She's not lied about anything!' J'shana's voice was rising now. 'She's told me nothing but the truth!'

'And how do we know that you weren't in league with her from the start, if you're defending her now?' If Vex's eyes narrowed any further, they would probably have disappeared. Her accusation angered me. Out of all of us, J'shana was the only person innocent in all this. What right did she have to say such a thing?

'Before you accuse J'shana of lying,' I snapped, stepping forwards, 'I think you ought to read this.'

And I held out Gallus's journal.

Brynjolf hesitated, then took it from my hand in a way that suggested he expected it to explode in his face. 'What's this supposed to be?'

'It's Gallus's journal,' I replied. 'I think you'll find its contents… disturbing.'

_Disturbing? _That didn't even being to explain it. _More like, life changing. Trust abolishing. World destroying. _

Brynjolf opened it. 'It's written in gobbledegook.'

'Hmm. Gobbledegook. That's a new word,' J'shana murmured absently. 'Might have to use that more often…'

'He wrote it in Falmer,' I told Brynjolf, ignoring J'shana's comment. 'Enthir at the College of Winterhold did the translation.'

My old apprentice nodded slowly. 'It's Gallus's writing.'

He plucked out the scrap of paper on which Enthir had written his translation. 'How do I know this is an actual translation?'

J'shana's fur stood on end. 'Because I say so,' she snapped. 'Just read it, Bryn!'

Her amber eyes burned with rage, and it was Brynjolf who blinked and looked away first. His gaze travelled to the parchment, slowly taking in Enthir's words. His eyes grew slowly wider and wider, and my heart started to race as I thought about what must be going through his mind. 'No, it… it can't be.' All his anger was fading as he read it, to be replaced by horror and blank shock. He snapped the book shut and looked up at us, his eyes empty of loathing and filled instead with raw fear. 'This can't be true. I've known Mercer too long…'

'You didn't know him, Brynjolf. None of us did,' I told him quietly. 'It's true, every word. All he ever cared about was his own greed. He's been stealing from the Guild for years, right under your noses.'

'It was Mercer that murdered Gallus. Not Karliah.' J'shana's anger seemed to have faded as she saw Brynjolf's reaction. 'He brought me to the sanctum because I'd learned too much from Honningbrew and Goldenglow, and from Gulum-Ei. He risked me stumbling on the truth, so he lured me there hoping that Karliah would kill me for him.' She turned to me, a slight smile on her face. 'But she didn't. She saved my life. I'd be dead if not for her.'

For a moment, Brynjolf was silent, and Delvin and Vex simply stared at him, waiting for his answer.

Finally, the Nord nodded and turned to them. 'There's only one way to find out if what the lasses say is true. Delvin, I'll need you to open the Vault.'

My heart did a backflip. The Vault, where the Guild placed all its winnings. What if Gallus had been wrong? What if Mercer had not stolen from us at all? Then everything would collapse, and J'shana and I would die.

Vex nodded curtly, but didn't put away her blade. Delvin started walking towards the Vault, very pointedly not looking at J'shana and I. 'Wait just a blessed moment, Bryn. What's in that book? What's it say?'

'It says Mercer's been stealing from our vault for years. Gallus was looking into it before he was murdered.' Brynjolf had turned his back on us and was walking alongside the others, leaving J'shana and I to cast an apprehensive glance at each other and follow, Meeko padding beside us, his hackles still up.

'How could Mercer open up a vault that needs two keys? It's impossible. Could he pick his way in?' I couldn't help but notice that Delvin didn't ask the question scornfully, as if he didn't believe it could be possible. He sounded genuinely confused, as if he might actually accept our story. Hope rose within me.

'That door has the best puzzle locks money can buy,' Vex retorted. 'There's no way it can be picked open.'

'He didn't need to pick the lock,' I said softly, before I could stop myself.

All four of them cast me sharp looks. Even Meeko looked intrigued.

'What's she on about?' Delvin stared at me in bafflement.

I stared coolly at them. I was not going to reveal the truth just yet.

'Use your key on the Vault, Delvin,' Brynjolf commanded finally, seeing that no answers were forthcoming from my direction. 'We'll open it up and find out the truth.'

'We've told you the truth,' J'shana hissed, quietly enough for only me to hear.

Delvin pulled his key from the pocket of his tunic and slipped it into the lock. There was a pause, followed by a slight click.

'There.' The Breton stepped back. 'I've used my key, but the Vault's still locked up tighter than a drum.' He nodded at Brynjolf. 'Now use yours.'

I heard J'shana take a deep breath in, and gritted my teeth. If Gallus had been mistaken, I thought, as Brynjolf turned his key, all was lost.

But even in death, Gallus was not about to let me down.

The door swung open, and Brynjolf froze as if he had been turned to ice.

'By… by the Gods!' he choked out. 'It's gone- everything's gone! Get in here, all of you!'

J'shana sagged with relief, and I let out a breath I'd only just realised I'd been holding. I don't think I'd ever expected to be glad that someone had stolen all my family's money.

Delvin and Vex ran forwards, while J'shana and I followed behind more slowly. Brynjolf had been right. Every chest stood empty, the great pile of gold that had always lain heaped on the floor was gone, and the shelves were bare. Despite my joy at knowing that we were safe, I felt my fists clench in anger. Mercer was going to pay for this.

'The gold, the jewels…' Delvin was staring about him as if he was witnessing the destruction of everything he'd known. Which, of course, he was. 'It's all gone!'

Brynjolf slowly turned his head towards us. 'Gods above, lass,' he whispered. I wasn't sure whether he was referring to me or J'shana, but it hardly mattered. 'You were telling the truth.'

J'shana's talons shot out of her paws like ten tiny, deadly daggers.

'Mercer did this,' she hissed, her eyes alight with rage. 'He betrayed us. He betrayed us all.'

* * *

**So, I hope you liked what I did with this scene. I was slightly worried about changing it so much, but eventually I decided just to go for it.**

**As usual, thanks for reading, favouriting, alerting, reviewing, etc. By the way, a few people have been asking me if I'm planning to write a sequel for this story. The answer is yes. It's one of the options on the poll on my profile for my next story. **

**Hope you liked the chapter!**


	33. Regrets

CHAPTER THIRTY TWO

We stood like statues, still and silent, the darkness of the vault swathing us all in shadow. The silence stretched on and on, none of us moving a muscle or saying a word. It was as if we had all been turned to stone. J'shana's words hung in the air and rebounded off the walls, echoing through the chamber, as if the whole world had determined to make my former Guildmates understand the truth. _He betrayed us. He betrayed us. He betrayed us all…_

It was Vex, of course, who shattered the stillness and silence first.

'That son of a bitch!' she spat, whipping out the dagger she had only a moment ago replaced in its sheath. 'I'll kill him!'

_No. That's my job, _I thought, though I said nothing.

'Vex!' Brynjolf took a step towards her, his hand raised. There was a bleak look in his eyes, but his voice was firm. 'Put it away… right now.' He glanced at J'shana, her tail lashing, her fur bristling, her talons glinting in the weak torchlight. 'You put those claws away too, lass. We can't afford to lose our heads. We need to calm down and focus.'

Delvin nodded. 'Do what he says, girls. This ain't helping right now.'

'Perhaps not.' J'shana sheathed her talons and let her fur lie flat. 'But it's very satisfying.'

Vex stared at Brynjolf for a moment longer, her face taut with rage, then finally slid her dagger back into her belt. 'Fine. We do it your way. For now.'

Brynjolf drew in a long breath, as if trying to steel himself to take charge. 'Delvin, Vex,' he said finally. 'Go and watch the Flagon. If you see Mercer, come tell me right away.'

J'shana flicked her tail. 'Don't make it obvious that you know what he's done. And make sure the others head about this. We have to be ready.'

They glanced at Brynjolf, and he nodded. 'She's right.'

Vex snorted. 'I'm telling you, if I see Frey, I'll pluck his eyes from his skull with my bare hands!'

She turned on her heal and marched off like a small, blonde thunderstorm. Delvin huffed, cast me a look filled with guilt and shock, and hurried after her, leaving J'shana, Meeko, Brynjolf and I standing alone in the empty vault.

There was a lengthy, awkward pause.

'I see Vex's temper hasn't improved,' I said at last, raising my eyebrows. 'She's not changed from the days when she used to push the twins into the pool when they tried flirting with her.'

Brynjolf looked as if he wanted to laugh, but couldn't summon the strength. 'Gods,' he said shakily. 'We've been so wrong.'

My insides twisted. J'shana folded her arms and took a half-pace towards him.

'We can lay blame on ourselves and on each other later,' she said firmly, and I was surprised at how unruffled she seemed. Of course, she had known the truth beforehand, but she had learned it in a far harder way than the others. On the end of a blade.

'We don't have time for regrets,' she continued. 'That can come later. Just like you said, Bryn, we need to focus. The only thing that matter right now is finding Mercer.'

I couldn't help but admire the firmness with which she spoke. Her head wasn't just quick, it was clear and even as well. I felt a pang of sorrow as I realised that she had just said the exact same words that Gallus would have spoken in this situation.

Brynjolf looked at her for a moment, then nodded. 'You're right, lass. We work out where Mercer is first. The rest can be dealt with afterwards.' He glanced up at me. 'Agreed?'

I nodded shortly.

He breathed in again. 'All right. Before I have you two help me track Mercer down, I need to know what you know. And I mean everything.'

I'd had an awful feeling that he would ask that, and from the way J'shana's eyes flicked over to me, I could tell she knew that I did not want to tell him everything. The Nightingales, the Skeleton Key, the Twilight Sepulchre- it was not for him to know. It was not for anyone to know but me.

'First things first,' J'shana declared. 'Mercer killed Gallus, not Karliah.'

He placed his hands on his hips and shifted his weight uneasily from foot to foot. 'Yes, lass, so you said. And from that last entry in Gallus's diary, it looked like he was getting close to exposing Mercer to the Guild.' He looked down at the floor for a moment. 'Anything else?'

I felt I had to admit to some of my sins. 'I was behind Goldenglow and Honningbrew,' I told him. 'Gulum-Ei was acting on my request.'

Brynjolf's mouth twitched. 'Trying to make Mercer look bad in front of Maven, eh? Clever lass. You've not changed.'

'In order to ensure your enemy's defeat-' I began.

'You must first undermine his allies,' Brynjolf finished with a small chuckle. 'Gallus would be proud of you if he could see you now.'

I saw J'shana wince. Clearly she had realised how his words would affect me. And they had affected me. Would Gallus truly be proud of me, if he knew all I had done in his name? Would he admire my cunning, my determination, my fierce desire to succeed? I could almost see his eyes sparkling, and I could hear his voice in my mind, that beautiful voice what he always used when something amused him, the one that was half words and half a chuckle. _'That's my girl, Karliah.'_

Brynjolf's voice jolted me out of my bittersweet thoughts. 'Is that it?'

'Isn't that enough?' J'shana stared at him and I felt a wave of gratitude sweep over me. She was helping me, covering for me, making sure I didn't have to reveal any of the secrets I had insisted on keeping for so long. She was sharper than I'd thought. Not many people could gauge my emotions so easily. None except for Gallus had ever been so quick to pick up on my feelings.

But somehow, the knowledge that I had the option to keep the secrets suddenly made me realise that I had to reveal them. Brynjolf had always been a true friend to me, and I could not blame him for believing Mercer's lie. I could see his guilt and regret on his face, and I had no reason to hold his actions against him. He was in charge now, and he needed to know the truth. And J'shana? She had supported me, fought on my behalf, returned to the Guild by my side, faced down her friends in order to clear my name. I would never stop owing her, never. They both deserved the right to know.

'We were Nightingales,' I declared. 'Gallus, Mercer and I. We were the Nightingales.'

Brynjolf looked as stunned as if I'd slapped him in the face. J'shana's eyes widened.

'What? Nightingales?' The Nord's words were filled with amazement. 'They're real?'

'We're real,' I affirmed.

He shook his head in a mixture of astonishment and disbelief. 'I always assumed they were just a tale… a way to keep the young footpads in line.'

I had heard the name of my order murmured among the other Guild members sometimes. His reaction didn't surprise me. Gallus had told me many times why it was so important for them to believe that we did not exist. _The Guild no more believes the Nightingales are real than an adult believes the myths his mother told him when he was a child. As long as they go on believing that we're just a children's story, they'll never question our existence or our true nature. Even though we live among them, they would never suspect us. And secrecy is everything to the Nightingale._

'Nobody believed that dragons were real,' J'shana said softly. 'Nobody wanted to believe that they could be real. And that was why nobody was ready for them when they came back. Why shouldn't this be the same?'

Brynjolf stared at us both for a moment longer, then finally nodded. 'All right. Was there anything else?'

We both shook our heads in unison.

'If that's all, then I have a task for you.' Brynjolf turned to J'shana, and she flicked her ears to show that she was listening. 'Lass, I'm going to need you to break into Mercer's home, and search for anything that could tell us where he's gone.'

My eyes widened. J'shana? In Mercer's house, with nobody but Meeko to help her? She didn't stand a chance. Had Brynjolf taken leave of his senses?

The young Khajiit spoke up before I could protest. 'He has a house? Here in Riften?'

Brynjolf dipped his head. 'Aye. A gift from the Black-Briars after they kicked the previous family out… place called Riftweald Manor. He never stays there, just pays for the upkeep. Hired some loud called Vald to guard the place.'

'Just one guard?'

'No.' I shook my head. 'He always kept it well guarded. Mercenaries, both inside and out. I was sent there for my recruitment task. It's more dangerous than the cave of a starving sabre cat. There's a secret passage in the basement- you get in through a cupboard- but you can scarcely move for booby-traps. I barely made it out alive.'

J'shana looked at me intently, as if drinking in my every word. 'I can handle that,' she said softly. 'I've faced far worse.'

'Be careful, lass.' Brynjolf looked genuinely concerned. 'This is the last place in Skyrim I'd ever want to send you. But we can't spare anyone else at the moment. You know the truth, and you're one of the best infiltrators we have.'

She laughed. 'I wouldn't let Vex hear you say that.' She rubbed her hands together.

'Just find a way in,' Brynjolf told her, 'find the information if you can, and leave. And you have permission to kill anyone that stands in your way.'

I stared at him. Gallus had never, no matter what the circumstances, permitted us to kill on a mission. We could injure our opponents if we needed to make an escape without being caught- hence my shooting the former adventurer in the knee- but we never killed. Never. He seldom enforced any punishments, but the knowledge that we had disobeyed him and betrayed his trust was penance enough if we ever broke one of his rules. None of us ever wanted to let him down.

But then… this was different.

'I'll be back by noon, at the latest,' J'shana promised. 'If I'm not, you have permission to worry. Come on, Meeko.'

Her dog jumped up and bounded to her side. She nodded to Brynjolf and I, turned, and raced away without a backwards glance.

'Careful at Mercer's place! I don't want to lose anyone else to that madman!' Brynjolf called after her.

_Shadows guide her, _I pleaded silently. _Let her return safely._

Brynjolf sat down on one of the empty chests with a heavy sigh. 'I feel like I've been kicked by a horse.'

'And you think you're alone?' I asked, sitting down next to him.

He ran his hands through his hair. 'By the Eight, lass. I feel like someone's taken hold of my life in their hands, pounded it into pieces, ripped it to shreds and thrown it to a bear.'

'That would be me,' I said, unable to supress a smirk.

He glanced at me and swallowed. 'Karliah,' he said uncertainly, and the fact that he used my name instead of calling me 'lass' made me realise instantly that he was speaking right from his heart. 'Listen, I know this doesn't make anything better. But I'm sorry.'

I said nothing. What was there to say?

'Oblivion, lass.' Brynjolf swallowed hard. 'All these years, I've hated you. I've dreamed of shedding your blood. When Mercer told us what you'd done, I was angrier than I'd ever been in my whole life. And all along, it was nothing but a damned lie.'

I let out a long sigh.

'There's no way I can apologise enough for what we've done. But on behalf of all of us, I'd beg you to forgive us, even though there's no reason why you should.' He looked at the floor.

'It's not your fault, Bryn,' I said heavily, my gaze also fixed on the bare stones. 'I've no need to forgive you. There's nothing to forgive. Mercer was the one who did this. To all of us. He's the one that should be sorry, not you.'

He laughed mirthlessly. 'I'll tell you now, lass, when we catch up with him, he'll be very sorry indeed.'

He would be. I would make sure of that.

'It's so hard to believe.' Brynjolf placed his head in his hands. 'Mercer, of all people… When he came back to the Flagon and claimed you'd killed Gallus, I didn't believe him. Not at first, anyway. It just didn't seem right. Now I know why. Never thought I'd have to go through all that again. Knowing that I'd trusted someone, and they'd never deserved it.'

I winced. I had thought that I had suffered over the last twenty five years, but I hadn't realised how much my Guild would have suffered as well. Living unaware of Mercer's treachery, trying to come to terms with the fact that their friend was a murderer...

They had been through just as much hardship as I had. They needed to forgive me far more than I needed to forgive them.

With no idea what to say, I sat in silence for a moment.

'Byrnjolf,' I said finally, 'can I ask you something?'

He raised his eyebrows. 'Fire away, lass.'

I didn't ask what I wanted to for some time. Instead I got to my feet and walked out into the Cistern, then through into the Flagon. It was dimly lit, far darker than I remembered it. And it was all but deserted. A few Guild members huddled around the bar- Delvin was there, unsurprisingly, clutching a mug of mead with both hands and staring into its depths- and a few more sat on crates around the walls. A couple were practicing sword swings, and there was a wood elf shooting a few arrows at the targets. For a moment, I thought it might be Elruen, but it wasn't. And the people… hardly any of them were speaking, and none of them were smiling.

Brynjolf stepped up beside me with a grim expression, and I could tell he knew what was coming.

'What happened to this place, Brynjolf?' I asked, staring bleakly out at the place that had once been packed with song and laughter and joy and was now filled with nothing but sorrow, shock and gloom. 'The city's dead. The Flagon's in a mess. And the Guild itself…' I gestured around at them. 'How has this happened?'

Brynjolf sat down on one of the crates with a long sigh, and I took a seat next to him. 'I don't know how exactly it came to this. I didn't really notice it changing. Not till I looked back and realised how different everything was under Gallus. How much we'd lost.' He shook his head. 'Mercer… he couldn't run us, not in the way Gallus did. With Gallus, we followed him because we trusted him, and we loved him. Life was good. But with Mercer, all that was gone. He was like a wagoner trying to whip on a horse that had lost the spirit and the strength to run.'

I could well believe it. 'So everything just… died?'

He nodded. 'Twenty five years, I tried to help Mercer keep them all together, but nobody could do anything. I just had to watch helplessly as everything fell to pieces. You saw what's happened up on the surface, lass? As the Guild died, the city died with it. They complain about us, but they never realised just how much we kept them together.'

I felt a chill creep over me. 'Bryn. How many are gone? From before? How many of us are left?'

He looked at me, and the desolation in his eyes almost made my heart stop. 'If we're not counting Mercer, then it's just you, me, Del, Vex, and Tonilia.'

I stared in shock, unable to move or speak for a second. _'Five?' _I gasped, feeling as if someone had ripped out my insides. 'Out of all of us?'

'Just us,' he said grimly.

I realised my mouth was hanging open. 'What… what happened to them?' I choked out, fearing the answer. 'Ahsla? Elandine? The twins? Thjon, Elruen…'

He was silent for a long time.

'Elandine was killed,' he said finally, and I clasped my hands over my mouth. 'You remember how she used to talk about how she walked out of the Thalmor?'

I nodded. 'She chucked a sweetroll in Elenwen's face and told her to go to Oblivion…'

'Those damn elves never forget an injury, never. Vex was with her, out on a job in Dawnstar. The Thalmor found them. They'd been hunting Elandine for years. They let Vex go, but they said they were taking El, taking her to face justice.' Brynjolf sighed. 'And she told them they'd never take her alive. She cut down six of them before they finally got her.'

I felt tears welling up in my eyes. Elandine. The second Guild member I had met, after Gallus. I remembered the many jobs I had undertaken by her side. I thought of her hard, sharp, exterior, and how it masked a woman who was undyingly faithful to all of us, someone who we could trust with our lives. I lifted my bow from my back and held it in my hands. It quivered with the magic that smouldered within it, and a tear fell onto its sleek black surface as I recalled that it had been Elandine who had enchanted it.

'And the others?' I whispered.

'Elruen walked out.' Brynjolf said heavily, shrugging. 'Can't say I blame him. He said the whole place was going to the dogs, and he was right. One day, he just walked up to Mercer, told him he was out, and quit without another word.'

I said nothing. I'd never got on with Elruen as well as I had with some of the others, but I'd been his friend, and he'd been mine, just like all the Guild members. We'd worked side by side, exchanged archery tips, sniped at town guards when the chased us. And now he could be anywhere. Almost certainly he was dead.

'What about Ahsla?'

'You remember those damn skeevers that set up in the Warrens?' Brynjolf's teeth clenched. 'She went to try and clear them out, and one of them bit her.'

'Gods, no,' I gasped, and I knew that my face paled. 'Please don't tell me she got Ataxia.'

He nodded. 'Aye. Carried her off in less than a month.' He looked at me sharply. 'Your pa died of Ataxia, right?'

'We thought it was that,' I murmured. 'We were never sure. Nothing seemed to cure it.'

He sighed. 'Nothing seemed to cure this, either. You know what she said as she was dying? She said, 'I wish Dralsi were here. She could cure me.''

My hands clenched into tight fists. 'I should have been there,' I hissed. 'I might have been able to help.'

Brynjolf said nothing. I stared at the floor without seeing it. Ahsla, my mother's greatest friend. Ahsla, who had always been kind and gentle and patient. Ahsla, who had made every set of Guild armour with love and care, who had raised Tonilia with undying devotion, who had always been one of the Guild's most valuable members. She was gone.

'And… Thjon?'

He slowly shook his head. 'The lad had a big heart, but he always was a clumsy fool. I was with him. We were breaking into Understone Keep. He knocked over an urn. It shattered. The guards found us.' He was crying now, silent tears, and I knew that he was reliving the memory. 'We were trapped, and fighting for our lives. They kept on pushing us back. Every time one of them fell, another took his place. And then we found a window.'

He smiled through his tears. 'Clumsy he might have been, but he could pick a lock like lightning, and he had the strength of a bear. Before I knew it, he'd opened the window and thrown me out of it. I landed in the river. I kept waiting for him to jump after me, but he never did. He was surrounded, and those guards just kept coming. There could only have been one end to that fight.'

I didn't try to stop myself crying. It would have seemed wrong if I had. As if I would have been betraying Thjon's memory. I saw his friendly grin inside my mind. I thought of all the times we'd shared, the jokes he'd told me and the ones I'd told to him, the songs we'd sung, the happiness we'd shared together. Thjon, a true friend. Dead. Such a noble, selfless sacrifice. I smiled as I thought of how he'd always insisted that there were nine Divines. He'd be in Sovngarde for sure now, and they would receive him with honour, thief or no.

I nodded slowly. 'The twins?' I whispered.

Brynjolf's eyes widned. 'Shor's beard! How could I have been so blind?'

'What?'

He shook his head in disbelief. 'The twins. I don't think they ever believed for a moment that you were guilty. We kept on insisting that there could be no other explanation-' He snorted- 'but they just refused to believe it. They said- well, Ma'rhaz said, Dar'zha couldn't say anything much- that they knew you, and they knew you'd never do such a thing, especially not to Gallus. They kept on telling Mercer, again and again, that you'd never betray Gallus and you'd never betray the Guild. Eventually he lost his temper. Said he'd seen Gallus die with his own eyes and if they didn't shut up he'd rip them both apart.'

I closed my eyes.

'The day after that, we woke up, and Ma'rhaz was gone. We looked everywhere. Nobody could believe that he'd just abandon us, especially not if it meant leaving his brother behind. Of course, it's obvious what happened to him now.'

'Mercer,' I snarled.

'Aye. Mercer,' he confirmed.

'So what happened to Dar'zha?'

He shrugged. 'I don't know why Mercer would've let him live. Maybe he just thought it would be too suspicious. But anyway, none of us could understand him, and he just got more and more depressed. We did everything we could, but losing Ma'rhaz was like losing half of himself. We all knew where it was going, and turned out we were right. One day he vanished. We found him by the grave we made for his brother. Dead. With an empty poison bottle in his hand.' He looked at his shoes. 'One of your poisons, actually.'

I buried my face in my hands. It was hard enough to know that all the other were gone, but the twins? They had been adored by all of us- Dar'zha for his wit and mischief, Ma'rhaz for his loyalty and bright smiles. They had served us with all their strength, and they had always been there with their cheeky grins and their laughter and their eagerness to please. And the knowledge that they had stayed true to me, that they had known me well enough to be certain that I was innocent, that it was because of their loyalty to me that they had died… it was almost too much to bear.

'I thought killing Gallus was bad enough.' I could hardly get the words out. 'But he killed all of them as well.'

A frown crossed Brynjolf's face. 'Only the twins, surely, lass. He didn't have anything to do with the others.'

_That's what you think. _Mercer was responsible. He'd had everything to do with what had become of my friends. He had stolen the key, and he'd stolen their futures with it. Why? Why had he done it? How could he have taken the Key, knowing that with it he was taking the Guild's luck, and therefore the lives of his friends?

'I think we all knew as we buried Dar'zha that it was over,' Bryn said wearily. 'Our golden age had come and gone and now we were next to nothing. This last quarter century, we've been hanging onto the memory of what we were, hoping that something might come along and save us.' He clasped his hands together. 'And then… everything changed.'

'Changed? What do you mean?'

Brynjolf shook his head slightly. 'You know what Delvin says? He says we were cursed. He says that the fact that one of our own murdered our Guildmaster doomed us all.' He shrugged. 'Maybe that's true, maybe not. I couldn't tell you. But if there was a curse, about two years ago, it was lifted.'

I searched for a reply, found none, and waited for him to go on.

'We got new members. People actually sought us out to join us, like Ravyn and Garthar over there. That lad there, Etienne,' Brynjolf told me, nodding towards a young Breton nearby, 'he went missing for a month. Nobody knew what happened to him. And suddenly he came back. Wouldn't say a word about what happened, but he came back. And gold started coming in again. Jobs succeeded, missions went to plan, and people actually started to enjoy working here. It was gradual, for sure, but it was like we'd been given new life. If you'd come back two years ago, you'd have seen us in an even worse state than this.'

He glanced around to make sure nobody else was listening. 'And you know what's weird, lass? It may just be coincidence. But the day everything started going uphill again… it was the day J'shana joined the Guild.'

My eyes widened. 'Do you think she's the reason?'

He shrugged. 'I only ever spoke to Del about it. He thinks she is, but he agreed not to mention it to her, nor to any of the others. Both us think it's not just because she's a master thief. She is, but that's not it. Delvin says she's like our lucky charm.'

I turned my head towards the door, where J'shana had disappeared. Could she really be the cause of the Guild's new-found streak of luck? And if so, why?

I only needed to think about it for a few moments. The answers were clear. The Guild had deteriorated because Mercer had the Skeleton Key. Their luck had run dry, and they had slowly fallen into ruin. I should have suspected something like this. It was only to be expected.

It was too much of a coincidence that everything changed the day J'shana entered the Flagon. It was impossible that these events weren't connected to her in some way. And… had she not shown a mysterious amount on luck in the short time I'd known her? Had she not survived Mercer? To be sure, I had fire the arrow that saved her life, but she had still been absurdly fortunate. She had infiltrated Calcelmo's museum without any problems. She'd been injured, but only a little. And from the moment I'd met her, everything had started going right for me.

And that meant…

I drew in a sharp breath. There could be only one reason why one mortal could possibly have so much uncanny luck.

J'shana had Nocturnal's favour.

She was born to be a Nightingale.

* * *

**Ok, author's note time!**

**Firstly, I am sorry for killing off all the Guild members. I think we could all see that coming really, but it didn't make it any less sad to write. So RIP to Elandine, Ahsla, Dar'zha, Thjon, and Ma'rhaz. And Elruen's probably dead too, so RIP Elruen as well. In fact, I'll just say RIP to everyone who's died in the story so far.**

**Secondly, thank you to SimonStormcloak for coming up with the idea of what happened to Elandine (I was out of ideas by that point and the idea of the Thalmor finding her made perfect sense) and to all you readers, for generally being awesome. **

**Thirdly, thanks as ever for reading, and hope you liked it!**


	34. Luck

CHAPTER THIRTY THREE

An hour passed slowly.

I stood to one side of the Cistern, hidden in the shadows, calmly sending arrow after arrow into the hearts of the stuffed training dummies. With every shot, bittersweet memories threatened to engulf me. Every time I closed my eyes, I half expected to see Elruen standing beside me when I opened them again, carefully picking his next target. He always used to shoot left-handed, I remembered with a sad smile. Every time I hit a bullseye, I could almost hear the sound of the twins clapping and cheering, just as they always used to. If I shut out the sound of my bow's song and focused instead on the noises of the Cistern, I half heard the sounds of Thjon laughing, Ahsla humming to herself as she put the finishing touches on a new set of armour, Elandine letting loose a string of colourful oaths as she placed the wrong enchantment on a weapon. Voices I had known so well floated around my ears, and faces I had missed so much swam in front of my eyes. But it only ever lasted a second. The moment my concentration lapsed, the sounds would fade, the invisible presences of my friends would be gone.

I knew that they were watching me. Several times, I heard my name murmured in low voices, heard whispers inform strangers that it was all a lie. Several times, I glanced up and met the eyes of a Guild member who had been watching me- a Guild member who invariably flushed as red as a snowberry and turned away instantly. They gave me a wide berth, and I didn't blame them. For the last twenty five years, they'd been taught to hate me. And now, just as they had finally learned how to do that, I returned and revealed that they had to start learning to stop hating me instead, and begin hating the man that they had trusted to keep them together.

I didn't mind that they avoided me. I understood why. Brynjolf sought me out a few times to make sure I was all right, but the others stayed away. Delvin made a move towards me at one point, but I saw him shake his head and walk off, as if his nerve had failed him. Tonilia watched me with sorrowful eyes, but said nothing. In a way, I was glad. I didn't think I could bear speaking to her, knowing what had become of her mother. I had been through the pain of losing my own mother and I did not want to think about how she must be feeling. The quiet, softly spoken young woman she had become bore little resemblance to the energetic, playful child I had known all that time ago, the child who had begged Gallus if we could start our treasure hunt on New Life Festival. As for Vex, she simply acted as if I wasn't there. I didn't know whether that was because she wasn't ready to stop hating me yet, or because she wasn't ready to face me.

I watched the Guild members come and go as I collected my arrows and moved back to start a new round of shooting. I caught a few of them looking back from time to time, and they either regarded me with curiosity, guilt, sadness or hostility. The Bosmer I had noticed earlier surveyed my archery with narrowed eyes, occasionally nodding appreciatively after I made a particularly difficult shot. A few of the younger-looking members huddled together and hissed to each other, shooting glances in my direction. Vex snapped at anyone who came near her. Delvin gazed into a mug of mead, refusing to meet anyone's gaze. Brynjolf sat behind the Guildmaster's desk, pored over books and scrolls of parchment, held whispered conversations with Guild members who ran up to him to tell him that there was still no sign of Mercer, and sighed frequently.

It was strange, seeing him behind Gallus's desk. It was near impossible to imagine Brynjolf of all people, the man I had mentored, taking leadership of the Guild. He just didn't seem to be the type to take command. I could see in his eyes he didn't have the heart for it either. If anyone else had betrayed the Guild, perhaps he would have been able to cope. But being told twice that someone he trusted had betrayed him seemed to have drained his strength.

It was a daunting prospect. I would have to earn the trust of all of these strangers, and re-earn the trust of those who had once been my friends. I would have to help Brynjolf rebuild the Guild.

And I would also need to restore the Nightingales.

I feared that the most. I already knew who to choose- the only two people I trusted enough. Brynjolf might not be particularly deep, I thought to myself, but he was a fierce fighter, and a loyal Guild member. And he, at least, trusted me. He was not the ideal choice. But there was no other. And he definitely wasn't the worst choice I could make.

As for the other, there was no need to think twice about it. It was obvious who I had to choose. J'shana could not have been more obviously marked with Nocturnal's approval. She might as well be wearing a sign above her head saying, 'pick me!' Luck was following her around like a hired mercenary.

But even with J'shana and Brynjolf on my side, I still feared facing Nocturnal, after my failure. I had no idea- none- how she would react to my returning. She might forgive me. She must have been watching me, she must know all I had done, she must be as hungry for Mercer's end as I was. Why else would she have sent J'shana to me?

And yet… I could not forget what she had told me. Those cruel, cold words that had ripped my life apart.

_Your Oath is broken. I warned you that if it was broken, you would be nothing to me. It was a warning you did not heed. You are no longer worthy of the name of Nightingale. Be gone. And do not dare to return, Karliah. Never before has a Nightingale failed in their duty so utterly. You are nothing in my eyes from this moment forth. And you always will be._

Just thinking of them was enough to make me have to bite my lip to supress a sob. The Nightingales had meant to so much to me. She had known that; she must have known that. And yet she had cast me out when I needed her most, branded me as a failure, a foolish mortal unworthy, careless and incompetent enough to allow the Oath of the Nightingales to be shattered, and the Skeleton Key to be stolen.

_Never before has a Nightingale failed in their duty so utterly. _That was what hurt the most. I had loved serving the Sepulchre, loved the thrill of facing down mercenaries and bandits with Gallus and Mercer by my side. I had poured my heart into my duty. I had served Nocturnal with every scrap of strength I had possessed. I had tried so hard, and it had all come to nothing. She had surely seen my heartbreak, and yet she had not cared. She had said those awful, callous words, and turned her face away from me forever.

I winced as I remembered how my temper had frayed and snapped. I'd had the audacity to shout at her, at Nocturnal, at the Lady of Shadows. I had- I shuddered to think of it- blamed her for what had happened. I had said such terrible things. Surely she would never take me back after that. Surely I had betrayed her too much.

But I had to try. For Gallus, and for the Guild.

I drew back my bowstring and fired again. Another arrow hit home.

If she did not accept my plea for mercy, I did not know what I would do. In a few words, she could rip all my newfound hopes apart. If she rejected me, then everything would be lost. Mercer would escape, the Key would never be returned, Gallus would never be set free, and I would be an exile once more.

Surely Nocturnal would understand that I had to be taken back, for the sake of us all? Surely she could forgive me, if I brought her two new Nightingales to serve her? Surely she would realise the depth of my loyalty to her? Surely…

A thought struck me, a thought that made me frown. Her casting me out, stripping me of my Nightingale status, banishing me from Nightingale Hall on pain of death… what if all that had been a test? What if she had been merely trying to assess the loyalty of her last remaining Nightingale? Nocturnal was utterly unpredictable, and mystery was a part of her being. What was it that Gallus had said? _'Many have tried to understand her, but all of have failed. You cannot understand Nocturnal. Her mystery is as much a part of her as madness is to Sheogorath.' _It was the sort of thing she would do, to bring my hopes crashing down, to banish me from everything I had held dear, to tear my life into pieces, and watch, waiting to see whether or not I attempted to return to her?

It would make sense, for certain. If one Nightingale was dead and the other had betrayed her… who could blame her for wanting to be sure that her final Nightingale was truly loyal?

If that was the case, I had truly failed her. For twenty five years, I had run from my duty. For twenty five years, I had cursed her name. For twenty five years, I had turned my back on her and on my true self.

But if this was a test, if she was really waiting to see whether I was a true Nightingale…

Then I had only one option. I had to raise my head high, gather my courage, and throw my life into her hands, and into the hands of fate. If I were to stand any chance of reclaiming her favour, then I had to stay strong and face her, without fear, without pleading, without hatred. I had to admit that I had failed her. I had to let her judge me, and pray that she would find it in whatever heart she had to forgive me.

She would either accept my admission of guilt, and my request for forgiveness. Or she would destroy me there and then.

But whatever happened would happen. And I would just have to face it when it did.

I fired again, hitting the dummy between its painted eyes.

'You've not lost any talent, lass.'

My mouth twitched in a half-smile as Brynjolf's voice came from behind me. 'Being hunted down by my family is no excuse to get out of practice.'

I sensed, rather than saw or heard, that he tensed, and was instantly sorry for make him feel so guilty. 'Did you need to speak to me?' I asked, quickly changing the subject.

He nodded. 'Lass, I need a word. Somewhere where the others won't be able to hear us.'

I nodded, gathered up my arrows and shouldered my bow. 'The treasury,' I said.

He nodded, and we made our way past the intrigued stares of the Guild members, into the small chamber. Brynjolf took a seat again on one of the empty chests, and shuffled in an uncertain sort of way.

'Lass, I might as well go straight to the point,' he began. 'Mercer's a liar, a traitor, and a murderer, but there's no avoiding the fact that he was also our Guildmaster. He's been keeping the Guild together these last years.' He held up his hand before I could cut in. 'I don't like that fact any more than you do, but there it is. And now he's gone, we're needing a new leader.'

I frowned. I didn't see why that merited a private council with me. 'Of course we do. The Guild doesn't work without a Guildmaster. And if you're second in command, Brynjolf, then that's you.'

He shook his head. 'Aye, there's no arguing that it's my duty to accept the position. I could do it if I tried, no doubt. It'd be hard, whipping this lot into shape after all this. But I could do it.' He sighed. 'The fact is, lass, I don't want to.'

'What do you mean?'

'I'm sure I could make myself a Guildmaster if I put my mind to it. But I don't think I can become the leader these people need right now. I can't be the person they need me to be if my heart's not in it. I know it's expected of me, but I simply don't want it.'

I sat down beside him. To be honest, his declaration didn't surprise me. Brynjolf had never struck me as a natural leader. He was a perfect choice for Guild Second, there was no denying that. He had just the right amount of independence and obedience in him to make him a strong and reliable deputy. But he didn't have the skills that Gallus had possessed- the deep mind, the careful sense of responsibility, the profound devotion to us all. Not that I doubted Brynjolf's loyalty. I never had and I never would. But Gallus had been like a father to us. And- through no fault of his own- Brynjolf simply didn't possess that ability to make all of us rely on him completely, and love him so fiercely that we almost never failed a mission for fear of disappointing him.

Of course, there was no way of conveying all that to him. 'I can understand that,' I told him simply.

He nodded. 'Listen, I know who I want to take Mercer's place. I thought I should discuss it with you before I break the news to them.'

I gave him an incredulous look. 'Brynjolf, I hardly know any of these people, and I don't know how the Guild is working right now. How can I-'

He interrupted me. 'Hear me out, lass. Thing is, there's only one real choice. All the senior members- Del, Vex, Tonilia- they're just not the type. Some of the younger ones could be trained for it, but right now none of them could take charge of this place in a thousand years. Only one of them's got the mind and the skill and the heart for it.' He raised his eyebrows. 'I think you can guess who I mean.'

The answer was obvious. 'J'shana,' I said softly, without thinking about it for more than a second.

He dipped his head. 'She's strong, she's brave, and she's got a damn good head on her shoulders. She knows how to fight, and I've never known her make a bad decision in all the time I've known her. Only problem is, I'm not sure how anyone would react to it, her especially. She's always been quiet. She keeps to herself a fair bit. She might not want it any more than I do. And some of the others might well be jealous.' He snorted. 'Scrap that, they would be jealous. Vex and Sapphire and Ravyn would have a fit. Dirge would probably blow his nut.'

'Why's that?'

He shook his head, smiling in a sorrowful sort of way. 'The lass's only been here a few years. To be sure, they all respect her. She's brought us the luck we've been missing ever since Gallus died, and they know it. But a junior member being promoted over all of us?'

I gave a long sigh and closed my eyes for a moment. J'shana was clearly the right choice. I had seen her skill, bravery and loyalty for myself. Her reason was sound and, though I'd never seen her fight, I was certain she could handle herself well in battle. I knew that she had everything it would take to put herself in charge of this ragtag band of thieves and turn them into a proper Guild again. She had all the skills that Gallus once had. But I understood Brynjolf's concern. There were plenty of Guild members who would resent the fact that a reasonably new member was being chosen over many far more experienced thieves.

But then…

'Do you remember what Ahsla told me, the night Gallus and Mercer went missing and I had to take charge?' I asked Brynjolf quietly. 'She saud, 'The Guild's not about age, nor is it about how long someone's been a member. It's about intelligence and talent and skill.' J'shana is the right choice, Brynjolf. Everyone will be able to see it. Don't let the fact that the other might disagree at first put you off. She can be the Guildmaster we need, and the others will come to see it. After she's been leader for a while, people will come to respect her judgement and her decisions, just as they did with Gallus.'

He gave a sharp jerk of his head, as if making a final confirmation of his decision to himself. 'You're right, lass. I'll ask her after everything's dealt with. If she says yes, then all the better. If she says no, then I'll just have to do the best I can.'

There was a sharp rap on the treasury door. We stood up, and Bryjolf tugged the door open, so sharply that he almost over the Breton that he had pointed out to me before, who had still been gripping the handle.

'Sorry, Etienne. Did you need us, lad?'

The Breton nodded. 'J'shana's back.'

I dashed past him instantly, into the Cistern, Brynjolf only a few paces behind me. I saw her instantly, standing in the centre where the four bridges joined, standing tall and proud, Meeko at her side, the biggest of grins plastered all over her face. There was a slight cut on her neck- probably caused by one of Mercer's traps- but otherwise, she seemed unharmed. And from her expression, it looked like she had been successful.

'Well,' she said, beaming at us both, 'I'm back.'

'I can see that, lass.' Brynjolf folded his arms. 'Listen up. While you were gone we've scoured the town and spoken to every contact we have left. No sign of Mercer. Any luck on your end?'

There was no need to ask the question. Even if the Khajiit's face hadn't displayed the answer, she was certainly in no short supply of luck.

'He wasn't there,' she shrugged. 'Didn't expect him to be. But I found a…' She frowned. 'Sort of a map. Of his plans. In his basement.'

She pulled a shabby, slightly torn scroll of parchment from her pocket and waved it in the air.

'Well? What's it say?' Brynjolf stiffened slightly, his whole body rigid with anticipation.

She unrolled the scroll and held it up in front of her. 'His handwriting is completely atrocious,' she said disdainfully, 'and his drawing's even worse. I could have done better than this when I was a kitten. But anyway, from this, it looks like he's cut and run. He's left us behind for good and he's planning to start up a new life for himself with the money he stole from us.' Her voice was bitter, packed with rage and scorn.

_Coward, _I thought, my fists clenching. _You're a thief, Mercer, and you're a traitor, a murderer and a liar, and now you're a coward on top of all of that. You always were._

'That it, lass?'

'No.' J'shana glanced up at us over the top of the scroll. 'He plans to do one final heist before he vanishes. Make sure he's got plenty of money before he sets himself up a new identity.'

'What sort of heist?'

J'shana's tail flicked. 'A theft, though not a conventional one. I don't know exactly what they are, but…' She rolled up the map and tucked it back into her pocket. She shrugged slightly and looked at us, and said the words that nearly made my heart stop right there and right then.

'He's going after the Eyes of the Falmer.'

* * *

**... well, Karliah's going to be happy about that, not.**

**It's now time for a very long author's note. PLEASE READ IT! I apologise for the length but PLEASE read it anyway.**

**Firstly, as you'll have noticed, I took the liberty of having Karliah present during J'shana's talk with Brynjolf about Mercer's plans. I thought it would be better to have her there when the revelation about the Eyes of the Falmer was made. Hope no one minds.**

**Secondly, apologies for the slight shortness of this chapter. It was either have one ridiculously long one or two shortish ones, and I chose the latter option.**

**Thirdly, I DESPERATLEY need some opinions on the following questions:**

**1. This is very important. To me, J'shana will always be Dragonborn. But I'm slightly worried that if I put her identity as Dragonborn into the story it might take some of the focus off Karliah's emotions, thoughts, feelings, etc. I'd love to have her as Dragonborn myself, but I'm concerned that it might not fit the story. So, first question: Should I put her Dragonborn status into the story, or leave it out?**

**2. The Nightingale Ceremony in the game is a little lacking, I think. You might disagree, but I was very disappointed that I didn't actually even open my mouth during the whole thing. So should I keep to the game script, or alter J'shana and Brynjolf's ceremony to make it a little more like Karliah's one in Chapter 13?**

**3. J'shana mentioned in Chapter 31 that she had a 'fast horse.' So, should it be Shadowmere or Frost? I mentioned in Chapter 25 that the Emperor had been assassinated, but it needn't have been by J'shana. If you think being Listener doesn't suit her, then please tell me. If she is, it won't come into the story except for the fact that she owns Shadowmere. If she isn't, then her 'fast horse' will be Frost.**

**Please, please, please, take the time to answer them. I really need answers in order to write the following chapters.**

**Finally, two cool (well, I think they're cool) facts I discovered while writing this chapter. Firstly, the collective noun for a group of nightingales (as in the birds) is called a watch. I don't know about you, but I think that 'a watch of nightingales' is slightly awesome. Also, anyone here who speaks French will know that **_**rossignol **_**is French for 'nightingale.' As we all know, the Nightingales of Skyrim guard the Skeleton Key. Interestingly enough, **_**rossignol, **_**apparently,****has another translation… 'skeleton key.' Anyone else have a feeling that it isn't a coincidence?**

**Well, thanks for reading, and for putting up with my stupidly long author's note. Until next chapter, guys! :D**


	35. Courage

**Hello again, readers! **

**Thanks to everyone who took the time to answer my questions. I am really grateful. I took everyone's opinion into account, but I had to go with the majority decision, so apologies to anyone who I dissapoint.**

**OK, I think that's all for now. Here's the chapter. Hope you like it!**

* * *

CHAPTER THIRTY FOUR

'_He's going after the Eyes of the Falmer.'_

The words echoed inside my head, as if a thousand tiny, evil voices were trying to drive the message home. The Eyes of the Falmer. The jewels that Gallus and I had risked our lives to find. The jewels which had nearly caused my death. The jewels that might well have been responsible for my finding out how Gallus felt about me.

I stood there in stunned silence, staring at J'shana. The Eyes of the Falmer. The words were being roared inside my mind by something invisible and quite suddenly I was no longer standing in the Cistern.

I was down in the darkness of a crumbling, ancient ruin. The darkness was menacing and almost unbroken. The shadows that I trusted so well were no longer my friends, but my enemies. I could not trust them here.

Everywhere I turned, there were creatures who wished for nothing more than to kill me. Given the chance, they would sink their blades into my body and laugh as my life's blood stained their hands. They would take delight in my agony. To them, I was an intruder, an enemy, a thief. And maybe I was. I was there to steal. But I did not wish to fight these creatures, and I wished to kill them even less. I could not forget that they were people once, in a lost time long ago.

But I was not alone in my fear. I could feel his steady, comforting presence beside me. His eyes were wary, cautious, scanning the darkness for foes, and his grip on his sword was tight. He felt the same way as I- I could tell. He, too, could not be at ease in a place where the shadows could not be trusted.

We moved forwards slowly, cautiously, aware of the malevolent blind eyes that watched us from every corner. Our footsteps sound like the beating of a drum, no matter how softly we try to move. And suddenly, without warning, the uneasy stillness was shattered. They leaped forwards, coming from every direction, falling over themselves to reach us. Their hisses and shrieks echoed off the walls of the cavernous chamber, and they waved their weapons in the air like crazed, rabid animals, their pale skin streaked with dirt and blood, their faces twisted with hatred.

We stood together as they came for us. His sword blade gleamed, my arrows flew. One by one, our foes fell to the sound of his blade slicing through the air, my bowstring singing out again and again. But for every one we killed, two more ran forwards take their place, and we simply could not stop them. They kept on coming, and coming, and coming. They were closing in, surrounding us, pushing us back. And I had but one arrow left.

One of the creatures broke ranks. I saw his maddened, sightless, bloodshot eyes burning with rage and bloodlust. I fired, but the arrow did not strike, falling uselessly off his shield. And suddenly he was onto me, his greater weight throwing me to the ground. I landed hard, struggling to fend off his sword thrusts with my dagger. I lunged, parried, blocked, and lunged again, slashing at him with all my strength, but I could not land a blow. He pulled back his arm, ready to drive his blade into my heart, exposing himself to me. I needed nothing more. I drove my knife upwards, seeking out his heart, and thrust into it with all the power I possessed. His blood ran down the blade, onto my silver-black gauntlets, like a sticky red river. He stared at me in astonishment, with the disbelief that all living creatures know as they realise that their death is at hand. Then he slumped forward, over my body, able to keep himself up no longer.

But with the last of his strength, he struck.

I knew instantly that there was no blocking this blow, no avoiding it. I could only watch helplessly as it smashed through my armour and sunk into my flesh, sending agony like nothing I had ever experienced before burning over my body. Triumph gleamed in those evil eyes for one more moment. Then something slipped away from him, some force, some power of nature, and he was no longer living. Only an empty shell. His life had fled him.

And I knew that soon, my life would flee from me. I felt so tired. The world was dropping away, bit by bit, as if it were made of ice that was slowly melting. The pain was lessening… no, I was losing my hold on my body, and I could no longer feel the pain. It existed in a separate part of me. I was falling, falling down into Oblivion.

Someone pushed the limp corpse of my fallen foe from me, and I felt arms around me. For a moment, I caught a glimpse of a pair of beautiful, deep, soulful brown eyes. And then all was darkness.

'Karliah!' I could hear him, calling to me, trying to call me back from the grip of death. 'Karliah! _Karliah!'_

'Karliah? Are you all right?'

I blinked, and my head jerked up, meeting the concerned, confused stares of my friends. J'shana's amber eyes were alight with worry and anxiety, but there was perplexity in them too, as if she could understand how her words could have affected me so much. Brynjolf's gaze was stunned, shocked. I could see he knew why I had reacted the way I had. He had been there the day Gallus and I had left for Irkngthand. He had seen us return, me half dead from exhaustion, Gallus so tired it was a miracle he was still standing. He had heard of how I had nearly died in the darkness there. I could see on his face that he understood my horror.

'The Eyes of the Falmer?' My voice almost squeaked like a child's, and I had to pause and swallow in order to control it. 'You're sure?'

J'shana nodded. 'He'd drawn a statue, and he'd written a name. Irkngthand. I think it sounds like a Dwemer ruin.' Her whiskers twitched. 'Is that… is that bad?'

'That's bad, lass,' Brynjolf told her grimly. 'That was Gallus's pet project.'

'They're gemstones, right?' J'shana was frowning.

I nodded. 'Perhaps the most valuable gemstones in the world,' I hissed, struggling to get the words out.

Brynjolf clenched and unclenched his fists. 'If he gets his hands on them, you can be certain he'll be gone for good and set up for life.'

I gritted my teeth. Brynjolf's words were all too painfully true. If he could get the Eyes, and the money that would come with them, we would never find him. He could go anywhere on Tamriel, and we'd never know where he was. He would have the money to build himself an entire new identity.

'Ok. That's bad.' J'shana's tail lashed. 'If that's the case, we have to stop him.'

'Agreed,' Brynjolf growled, folding his arms. 'He's taken everything the Guild has left, and to go after one of the last greatest heists is just an insult.'

'He's mocking us,' I snarled. 'He's trying to prove that he can do anything he likes and we can't stop him.'

J'shana's hand tightened around the hilt of Gallus's sword. 'Then it's time to prove him wrong.'

I nodded. 'Brynjolf,' I said, turning to the Nord, 'the time has come to decide Mercer's fate. Until a new Guildmaster is officially chosen, the decision falls to you.'

Brynjolf glanced quickly at J'shana. For a moment, I wondered if he would choose this moment to reveal his plans for her, but instead he placed his hands on his hips and narrowed his eyes. 'Aye, lass… and I've come to a decision.'

There could only be one option. We all knew that. If we were going to stop Mercer from escaping us forever, if we were going to safeguard our Guild, if we were going to avenge Gallus, there was no other option.

'Mercer Frey tried to kill both of you,' Brynjolf continued. 'He betrayed the Guild, murdered Gallus, and made us question our future.' His eyes narrowed. 'He needs to die.'

I couldn't resist allowing a small smile to flit over my face. So, it was decided. Mercer would die. We would hunt him into Irkgnthand. He could run from us, but there was no refuge for him in the shadows. We would find him. And I would kill him.

'I agree,' J'shana said, her ears flat back against her head. 'While Mercer lives, all of us are in danger.'

'We have to be careful,' I warned them. I took a deep breath before continuing. 'Mercer is a Nightingale, an Agent of Nocturnal. He may have broken his Oath, but he still possesses his power.'

Brynjolf whistled slightly in amazement. 'Then it's all true… everything I heard in the stories. The Nightingales, their allegiance to Nocturnal, and the Twilight Sepulchre…'

It didn't worry me that he knew the names, especially since I knew he didn't understand their meanings. But maybe the time had come for him to learn them. I looked from him to J'shana, at the grim, determined faces of the Nord and the Khajiit, and made my decision.

'Yes,' I said finally. 'That's why we need to prepare ourselves and meet Mercer on equal footing.'

J'shana looked hard at me, clearly intrigued, while Brynjolf's brow creased in puzzlement.

'Just outside of Riften,' I told them, 'beyond the southeast gate, is a small path cut up the mountainside. At the end of that path is an old standing stone. I need you two to come there with me. There's things I haven't told you… things I can't tell you. But I promise, all your questions will be answered.' I closed my eyes. 'You just need to trust me.'

J'shana and Brynjolf glanced at each other, their gazes curious and bewildered. The Khajiit chewed on her lip in a thoughtful manner, then nodded.

'I trust you,' she said simply.

Brynjolf dipped his head to me. 'So do I.'

I felt like my heart would break right there and right then. To be hated so hard for so long, and then, after so much pain and suffering, to have two people turn to me and tell me right to my face that they believed in me, that they were willing to place their lives in my hands… it was a feeling almost too unexpected and incredible to bear.

'Thank you,' I told them. 'Thank you.'

J'shana smiled at me, but her face quickly grew serious. 'We don't have much time,' she said grimly. 'Mercer came back to Riften, then probably went straight to Irkngthand. We had to go to Winterhold and back. He's got several hours on us. We can't waste any time.'

Brynjolf nodded. 'She's right.'

I felt touched, encouraged, by my friends, by their faith. I felt something shining deep inside of me as I looked into those eyes, green and amber, filled with determination and courage. And I knew in that moment that we were ready. They were ready, and I was ready. Suddenly, I no longer feared Nocturnal, and I definitely no longer feared Mercer Frey.

I looked them both in the eyes.

'Let's go.'

* * *

At noon, we arrived.

The standing stone shone in the light of the sun, its smooth surface glowing until it looked as if it were made from diamonds. A group of birds- pine thrushes, I realised with a smile- took off from the trees as we neared the base of the cliff, their wings flashing in the bright golden rays of the sun. J'shana, ahead of me, pulled gently on the reins of her horse, a spirited palomino stallion named Frost- who she had, apparently, stolen from Maven Black-Briar, and who she'd sent on ahead of her from Winterhold- and slowed from a canter to a trot. 'Is this the place?' she called, twisting around in the saddle to look at me.

I nodded and drew to a halt. 'We're here.'

My steed snorted and tossed her head. With Dusk dead, Brynjolf had been forced to find me a replacement horse- and to my joy, he had revealed that Ebony was still alive. She was a smooth ride, and hardly ever tugged too hard on the reins or shied away from my touch. But then, of course, it had been Gallus who had trained her, and he had almost certainly inspired the same trust and obedience in his horse as he had in his Guild.

Brynjolf cantered up beside us and tugged on Bryony's reins until she stopped. 'All right, then, lass. What now?'

J'shana was already tying up Frost with quick, deft movements. 'Yes, what now? What's the significance of this place?' She looked up at the tall monolith, taking in the symbol carved at its tip.

I dismounted and led Ebony over to a tree, tethering her to the trunk. 'This is the headquarters of the Nightingales, cut into the mountainside by the first of our kind,' I told them, remembering what Gallus had told me, all that time ago. 'We've come here to seek the edge we need to defeat Mercer Frey.'

I don't think I was imagining the trace of fear in J'shana's eyes as she bent down to stroke Meeko. 'What kind of an edge?'

I stroked Ebony's muzzle and turned to the young Khajiit. 'If you'll follow me, I'll try to explain on the way.'

I started walking towards the door to the Hall. All my fears had come flooding back now. What if Nocturnal simply destroyed me the moment I stepped inside? It was well within her power to do so. What if she refused to restore my Nightingale status? What if she simply turned away from me again, or never answered when I called to her at all?

As I made my way over to the door, I heard the whispered conversation of my companions behind me. 'Well, this is enough to make your head spin, eh?'

'You've said it.' There was an edge of trepidation in J'shana's voice. 'I don't like not knowing what's going on.'

'Well, we'll know soon enough.' I could feel Brynjolf's gaze burning into my back. 'If Karliah ever stops with all the secrecy.'

J'shana's voice was low and serious as she replied. 'I think there's a reason for all the secrecy, Bryn. I don't know what it is any more than you do. But I'm willing to wait for the answers.'

Brynjolf murmured something unintelligible. I slowly approached the small wooden door and reached out for the handle. For a moment, I feared that it would not move- but it turned smoothly in my hand, and the door swung open.

I gathered all the courage I possessed and stepped inside.

The passage beyond was just as dark and gloomy as I remembered it, and I wished I'd had the foresight to bring a torch. Brynjolf stopped as he entered and blinked a few times in order to become accustomed to the darkness, but J'shana simply strolled forwards as if she were in bright daylight. I'd always thought that, despite their natural stealth and agility, it would be awful to be a Khajiit- all that fur to keep clean- but I changed my mind as I saw how easily she moved through the shadows. My night vision was as good as any Dunmer's could be, but I envied the ease with which J'shana could see through the murk.

'So,' Brynjolf said, looking around the passage with awe as I took the lead. 'This is Nightingale Hall. I heard about this place when I joined the Guild, but I never believed it existed.'

I moved onwards through the passageway. Despite my impaired vision, it was comforting to be surrounded in the deep shadows again. I felt like a true thief once more. 'The assumption that the Nightingales were just a myth was seeded within the Guild on purpose,' I explained. 'It helped avert attention from our true nature.'

'Which was?' I heard J'shana murmur, so quietly that she clearly didn't expect an answer. Brynjolf made no reply, but I didn't need to have to turn around and look at him to know his confusion.

'What's wrong, Brynjolf?' I asked as we rounded a corner. 'I can almost hear your brow furrowing.'

He shrugged. 'I'm trying to understand why I'm here, lass,' he said, with a mixture of confusion and earnestness. 'I'm no priest, and I'm certainly not religious. Why pick me?'

I smiled, remembering how Gallus had explained the same things to me. 'This isn't about religion, Brynjolf… it's business. The powers a Nightingale receives improves their skills in almost every way. And we use those powers to serve our Guild.'

'That sounds… promising,' J'shana said softly. 'But Mercer had those powers too. And he used them to murder and steal.'

'Mercer's a traitor,' I replied simply. 'He abused his power.'

J'shana sighed. 'Power,' she murmured. 'Sought by so many, used rightly by so few.'

We walked on in silence, until we emerged into the central chamber. 'Here we are,' I announced, gazing around at the crumbling walls, dusty bookshelves and steadily trickling river that I remembered so well. 'This is Nightingale Hall. You're the first of the uninitiated to set foot inside in over a century.'

J'shana stared around in wondering rapture, her fire-coloured eyes wide. Meeko huddled closer to her, as if he sensed and feared the ancient power of the place. Brynjolf looked around with a mixture of admiration and bafflement. I allowed them a moment to take in the sight, before moving onwards to the armoury. The three armour stones stood as if they had been waiting for us, still emanating their powerful, magic-filled aura. Suddenly I ached to lay my hands on my stone again, to feel the rush of freedom that came over me as my Nightingale armour took form on my body, to feel the forged darkness cover me once more.

J'shana ran ahead of me as she saw the stones. She bent crouched down beside the centre stone and sniffed it, breathing in its scent. 'Magic,' she murmured. 'Daedric magic. I can smell it.'

I nodded. 'These are the armour stones. I'll show you.'

I laid my hands again on the stone on the left. My whole body tingled, and the dark light began to swirl around me, as it had so many times before. That familiar sensation of ice-cold water being poured over me slowly flooded over my body, and as it faded, and the black shadow that surrounded me gradually melted away, I was standing in my Nightingale armour once again.

I turned to my companions, suddenly feeling like a new elf. It was as if I had drawn some lost strength from the armour, or as if a part of me that had been forgotten for years had been awakened once more. Brynjolf and J'shana stared at me, their amazement and awe plain on their faces. Even Meeko looked reverent.

'Shor's beard,' Brynjolf whistled. 'That's some fancy armour.'

He jogged up the steps to the rightmost stone, the one Mercer had always used, and tentatively rested his hands on it. I watched as the armour slowly covered him, cloaking him in darkness and shadow. He held up an arm in front of himself and ran his other hand down the gauntlet that covered it, flexing his fingers in an approving sort of way.

I noticed that J'shana was hanging back. 'J'shana?' I asked.

She was still gazing thoughtfully at the stone. 'Sorry,' she said quietly. 'I was just thinking. About… what all this means.'

She stepped up to the stone- the centre stone, Gallus's stone- and closed her eyes as she let the armour cover her silver-grey fur. 'By the twin moons,' she murmured as the black glow faded. 'It's like wearing shadows.'

Brynjolf inclined his head to her. 'Couldn't have put it better myself, lass.'

We stood there for a moment; then I turned and led them along the corridor, into the circular room just before the main cavern. I stopped, waiting for them, and Brynjolf looked at me inquisitively, fingering the hem of his night-coloured cape. 'Okay, lass, we've got these getups on… now what?'

I gestured to the passage ahead of us. 'Beyond this gate is the first step in becoming a Nightingale.'

'Whoa there, lass.' Brynjolf held up his hands slightly. 'I appreciate the armour, but becoming a Nightingale? That was never discussed.'

'But it was pretty obvious, wasn't it?' J'shana muttered, a slight grin sparkling in her eyes.

I couldn't resist a smile. 'To hold any hope of defeating Mercer, we must have Nocturnal at our backs,' I explained. 'We need the power she can offer us. If she's to accept you as one of her own, an arrangement must be struck.'

Brynjolf's eyes narrowed, though the gesture was barely visible behind the shadow cast by his hood. 'What sort of arrangement?' he asked warily, like a fox uncertain of whether or not to pounce on its prey. 'I need to know the terms.'

I sighed. Of course I hadn't been expecting Brynjolf and J'shana to simply accept everything I told them, and take the Oath without questioning its consequences. But I had been trying to avoid telling them all this. Partly because it was so hard to explain. Partly because I felt so guilty about determining their fates for them.

'The terms are quite simple, Brynjolf,' I told him. 'Nocturnal will allow you to become a Nightingale and use your abilities for whatever you wish. She will favour you over other mortals, and guide you when you need her.' I bit my lip, knowing that the next part would be the hardest for them to accept. 'And in return, both in life and in death, you must serve her as a guardian of the Twilight Sepulchre.'

Brynjolf chuckled ruefully. 'Aye, there's always a catch. But at this point, I suppose there isn't much to lose.' He nodded his head in a final manner. 'If it means the end of Mercer Frey, you can count me in.'

I felt a burst of relief inside me. I had been almost certain that Brynjolf would prove the hardest of the two to convince, and he had agreed. But J'shana was still remaining silent, and I turned to her with trepidation. 'What about you? Are you ready to transact the Oath with Nocturnal?'

J'shana looked at me uncertainly. 'What would happen if…' She frowned, and went on hesitantly. 'What if… your soul was already- promised- to someone or somewhere else?'

'Is it, lass?' Brynjolf looked at her in a puzzled manner.

Her tail curled nervously. 'I… I'm not sure. It might be.'

My brow creased worriedly. This was a complication I hadn't foreseen. I could see in J'shana's eyes, though, that she was not going to offer any more explanation. 'Then we'll just have to keep our fingers crossed and hope that Nocturnal will accept you. If you're willing.'

She raised her head and lifted her tail slightly. 'I'm willing.'

'Then it's time,' I said, and even as I said the words, I was gripped by fear once more, so much so that my whole body trembled and my heart beat against my chest as if a bird were trapped inside it, fluttering its wings to try and break free.

J'shana's eyes narrowed. 'You're worried she won't accept you.'

I nodded. 'I failed her, and she doesn't forgive easily.'

J'shana looked bewildered. 'How did you fail her?'

'It doesn't matter,' I said quickly, turning away and walking over to the gate. 'Not at the moment, at least. You'll find out soon.'

They both hesitated a moment before hurrying after me. I yanked on the pull chain and the barbed spears slid down into the ground, opening the way into the cavernous chamber beyond. I heard Brynjolf's sharp intake of breath and J'shana's gasp as they looked upon the sight that lay before them, but I felt nothing but fear.

'Stay there, Meeko,' J'shana murmured to her dog, and strode forwards into the chamber. 'Where do we go?'

I knew that I would have to take the centre circle, as the one who would call to Nocturnal. 'Brynjolf, you take the eastern circle. J'shana, you need to stand on the west.' For some reason, it felt important that J'shana should take my old place.

Nord and Khajiit nodded and walked forwards over the stone bridges. I followed, heart hammering, my whole body tense and numb. I knew that this was the moment we either succeeded or failed. Nocturnal would either help me, or she would cast me into Oblivion.

I drew in a long, deep breath and turned to face the centre circle. I had no choice. We had come too far to turn back now.

I had to stay strong. I had to believe in myself. Trust myself, just as my mother had always told me. I was afraid, but I would see this through. I just needed to have courage, and all would be well. It had to be.

I spread out my arms, looked to the ceiling, and called out, trying to keep my voice from shaking.

'I call upon you, Lady Nocturnal, Queen of Murk and Empress of Shadow… hear my voice!'

There was dead silence for a moment, and I saw Brynjolf glance at me uneasily, J'shana curl up her tail anxiously. Time seemed to freeze and for a terrible, terrible moment I thought that she had not heard, or else did not want to hear-

But then the room darkened, just as I had known deep within me that it would, and the pale, purplish mists began to swirl over the central platform, and that invisible presence was suddenly there, watching us all with an eagle's eyes, seeing right inside us, knowing all our secrets and looking right into our hearts and minds and souls. Brynjolf stiffened, and J'shana gasped again, but I simple stood still and waited.

I felt Nocturnal's full attention on me immediately. _Ah, Karliah, _her voice said mockingly. _I was wondering when I'd hear from you again. Lose something, did we?_

For a moment, her words infuriated me. I almost lost my temper there and then, nearly screamed at her with all the rage that the years of suffering had sparked inside me. I wanted to shout, _yes. Yes, you heartless Daedric filth, I have lost something. I've lost everything. I've lost my lover, my home, my family, my friends, my whole world. Is that enough for you?_

But I didn't. I took another deep breath and lowered myself onto one knee, keeping my head bowed. It was only half out of respect. I was afraid to look at her.

'My Lady, I've come before you to throw myself upon your mercy and to accept responsibility for my failure,' I told her, trying hard to keep my voice steady.

She laughed; a scornful, derisive sound. _You're already mine, Karliah. Your terms were struck long ago. What could you possibly offer me now?_

I swallowed hard and lifted my head, forcing myself to stare into that unflinching gaze. I opened my hands, gesturing to Brynjolf and J'shana. 'I have two others who wish to transact the Oath, to serve you both in life and in death' I told her carefully. 'We have come to rebuild the Nightingales; to bring justice to the one who betrayed us, and to return the treasure I failed to protect.'

The contempt was still clear in her voice as it sounded again. _Tell me, Karliah, why have you risked my anger in returning? Did I not tell you, twenty five years ago, that your Nightingale status was gone, that you were nothing to me any longer, that you were not to return… on pain of death?'_

I felt like an injured bird that cannot fly away must feel before a cat pounces upon it. 'I know, my Lady. I failed, and I have come to seek forgiveness.'

'Hold on a moment!' My head jerked around in surprise as J'shana's indignant voice came from my right. 'How did she fail you? How can she have failed by not knowing that Mercer was planning to kill Gallus? How can that be her fault?'

I sensed the unseen gaze turn away from me, and from the way J'shana' shivered, I could tell that she was focused on the Khajiit now. _Why, you have sprit, mortal. _There was a hint of menace in her tone. _But very often, spirit can be just another word for impertinence._

J'shana lifted her head and gazed ahead at the shimmering mist. Her fear was clear in her eyes, but I could see the fur on her tail bristling, and I knew that anger had made her bold. 'You banished her and destroyed her life in doing so,' she hissed. 'What right do you have to condemn her because of something she couldn't prevent?'

'J'shana, no!' I hissed. Speaking like that to a Daedric Prince could be fatal.

But Nocturnal seemed more amused than angry. _There is fire within you, Khajiit. In more ways than one._

J'shana gasped slightly. I gave her a searching look. What could Nocturnal mean?

I felt Nocturnal's power concentrate on me once again. _Do you deny your failure, Karliah? Or do you truly accept responsibility?_

I nodded. 'I do.' I bit my lip. 'If we are to defeat Mercer Frey, the traitor Nightingale, then the trinity must be restored. My pride is unimportant now.'

_Indeed. But for twenty five years, you have fled from your past, your responsibility, the acknowledgement of your failure. Why now do you come back to me? You surprise me- the offer you have made me is definitely weighted in my favour. What do you seek in return?_

'I seek only vengeance for Gallus,' I replied, and I could hear the loathing and fury in my words. 'My appetite for Mercer's demise far exceeds my craving for wealth, your Grace.'

_Not that I ever craved wealth in the first place, _I thought bitterly. _I became a thief because it was the right path for me to take, not because I sought a fortune. I served my Guild because I loved them. I became a Nightingale because it was what I was born to be._

_Revenge? How interesting. _Nocturnal's focus turned away from me, and I could tell from the way Brynjolf suddenly tensed that it was he who was now under her scrutiny. _And you, Nord? You've been very quiet. Who might you be? What do you have to offer me? Why do you seek the sacred name of Nightingale?_

I saw Brynjolf swallow and take a moment to compose himself. 'Name's Brynjolf, ma'am. I'm here for my Guild.' he announced carefully.

_Ma'am? _I thought, amused. _That's new. But he was hardly going to call her 'lass.'_

_Is that so? _The invisible entity's words rebounded off the walls, and Brynjolf looked even tenser.

'Mercer betrayed the Guild, stole the wealth we'd been creating for years, and murdered Gallus. Our leader.' The burly Nord shuffled his feet slightly. 'I'm here because my Guild is in danger, and they're relying on me to help them. If that means becoming a Nightingale…' He shrugged. 'If I didn't do this, I couldn't face them again.'

_Dedication? Duty? Fascinating… _Brynjolf relaxed a little, but J'shana shivered again and I knew that now Nocturnal's gaze was fixed on her. _And you, the fiery, feisty one?_

J'shana wrapped her tail around her legs in a defensive manner. When she spoke, her voice was hesitant, wary, as if she was picking every word with the greatest care.

'I am J'shana, daughter of Ri'khan, child of both Elsweyr and Skyrim,' she said slowly. 'And I am willing to make this Oath because of the people who are here to take it with me. It was Brynjolf who brought me into the Guild. He trained me, and he gave me a home when no one else would. And Karliah…' The Khajiit shot a swift glance at me. 'She saved my life. She didn't do it for any personal gain, only that I might live. And the Guild, all of them, even the ones that I don't get one with, they're my friends, my family. They're all I have. I have to do this. For them.'

I sensed that Nocturnal was about to speak, but to my surprise J'shana carried on. 'And I know there's something more to this whole business. I knew Mercer's more dangerous than he seems. It's not just the Guild that's in danger if we fail; it's all of Skyrim, all of Tamriel, maybe even all of Nirn. I don't know how I know that. I just know it. And I'll die before I see one more innocent slain at the hands of Mercer Frey.'

We were all silent as she finished speaking- so much so that it seemed that even Nocturnal was impressed by J'shana's speech.

_Devotion? Very quaint, _she said finally. _Vengeance, honour and loyalty. Those are all worthy reasons. _There was a slight pause. _Very well, the conditions are acceptable. You may proceed._

Relief was not a strong enough word for what I felt in that moment. It was as if I had been carrying the weight of a mountain on my back for the years of my exile, and suddenly that weight was gone, shattered into pieces.

'Lady Nocturnal,' I announced, getting to my feet and placing one hand over my heart, 'we accept your terms. We are ready to dedicate ourselves to you as both your avengers and your sentinels. We will honour this agreement in both life and death until your terms have been met.'

_Very well. _The feeling that I was being stared into increased. _Have you made certain that your associates understand the terms of this agreement?_

_Not completely. But as well as I can, without telling them too much, _I thought. 'I have,' I declared, remembering how Gallus and Mercer had once promise the same about me.

_Do you swear to offer them any help and guidance that they require as they embark on the path of the Nightingale?_

'I do.'

_And are you prepared to guard your fellow Nightingales with every ounce of strength that you possess, and, should the need arise, to give your lives in order to save theirs?_

I did not hesitate for a second. 'I do.'

_Good. And now, all of you. __Do you swear to defend with your life the Twilight Sepulchre and the treasure it contains, as well as the secret of your existence, no matter what might befall you?_

I had never thought that I would ever get the chance to make this vow again, to restore my Nightingale status and receive Nocturnal's blessing once again. 'I do,' I proclaimed, and the voices of my friends echoed me only a heartbeat later.

_And do you vow to protect the lives of your fellow Nightingales with all of your strength and honour, and, if necessary, your blood?_

We spoke together, our voices ringing out clear and strong. 'I do.'

_And do you accept that from this moment forth your life is bound to mine, and that in both this world and the next, you must defend my sanctuary and the Skeleton Key- whatever the cost?_

My heart clenched. The Key. The others did not know about it. What if they demanded to know more? But to my surprise, while I hesitated, J'shana spoke up fearlessly. 'I do.'

I repeated her words, as, after a moment's pause, did Brynjolf.

Three shafts of purple light surrounded the three of us as Nocturnal spoke again. _Then, J'shana and Brynjolf, I name you Nightingales, and I restore your status to the same, Karliah._

I felt joy burst inside me. I had not realised how much this had meant to me. My last hopes had been torn away with the loss of my calling as a Nightingale. And now they had returned once more.

_And in the future, _Nocturnal added warningly, _I'd suggest you refrain from disappointing me again._

The light faded, the room lightened, and we were left standing alone, the three new Nightingales, Nocturnal's last words echoing in our ears.

_Fair fortune, Nightingales. Eyes open. Walk with the shadows._

* * *

**Most people seemed to want me to edit the ceremony. It was a lot harder than I expected. I sat in front of the computer for a long time going 'um...' but eventually I just let it flow. This is the result- I hope you enjoyed it. :)**

**See you next chapter! Walk with the shadows!**


	36. Trinity

**Hello and welcome to chapter 35!**

**I am sorry if the chapters come a little slowly. I have an unbelievable amount of work to do. Plus, I am also a major procrastinator, so you have permission to get mad at me.**

* * *

CHAPTER THIRTY FIVE

Imagine it, stranger. Imagine that it was you.

Imagine that it was your lover who was drawn into a dark, ruined tomb, and murdered there in the shadows, by one he had called a friend. Imagine that you were banished from your home, and that your family spoke your name with rage and loathing, and swore to find you and murder you. Imagine that you were forced to run, to run from everything you loved, to run so far and so hopelessly that you ran away from yourself, until you lost all track of who you were. Imagine that you returned to your path and found your way again, knowing that the road you walked led either to success or death.

And imagine that you went down on your knees in front of the one who banished you, who scorned you, who manipulated and betrayed you, and begged for mercy, for forgiveness. Imagine pleading for that, knowing that you did not fail, knowing that you could not have changed or prevented what happened. Imagine making that plea to a cool, cold being who no more cared for you than she did for an insect. Imagine that you received the reply, no. No, you are not forgiven. Your failure is unacceptable. I will never forget what you did, and I will certainly never forgive it. You are not pardoned. You will never be pardoned. But you are permitted to return… if you make sure that you never, never, fail again.

Imagine that.

Would you be afraid? Angry? Guilty? Shocked?

I was. I felt all those emotions, and more.

Imagine that you had one chance and one chance only to save yourself. And to do so, you would have to venture into a pit of Oblivion, a place you had never thought to see again, had hoped never to see again. You would have to battle your way through monsters from the dark and machines that could fight and almost think like mortal beings. You would have to face a man who had once been your friend, and you would have to kill him. Your only help would be two friends and a dog. And you must all survive, or everything would be lost.

You would have to take an item more powerful and more deadly than anything else in Tamriel and return it to a forbidden temple, a place where no mortal was permitted to enter. You would have to face down the spirits of men and women who were once mortals like you, but had forgotten who they were, who they used to be. You would have to face the one you failed and tell her, I have succeeded. I fought for you and I returned the treasure that was stolen from you. Have I done enough? Can I ever, ever be forgiven now?

And you would know in your heart that the answer would almost certainly be, no. You can never be forgiven. Even if you spend the rest of your life in my service, you can never, never, never, be forgiven for what you have done.

I do not know who you are. I do not know how deeply you think. I do not know anything about you. But I do know that, unless you have somehow been through this yourself, you will never understand. It is not your fault. You cannot understand what I felt then. I could ask you to imagine it all I liked, and you could sit there and close your eyes and imagine it for the rest of eternity. But you could never feel what I felt, know what I knew, think what I thought. You could never feel all that pain, all that joy, all that rage, all that relief, all that hope, all that despair, all that gratitude, all that hatred. You could never know that burning mixture of emotions, emotions so strong they nearly destroyed me where I stood with their raw, unleashed power.

But that is what comes with a life like mine. When you are betrayed and banished and turned away from, and everything you love is lost, and then just when you think that everything is gone forever, hope returns without warning, and everything changes forever and eternity.

Over time, I have come to accept that I shall bear this pain forever. It is hard to bear, to be sure. But I can bear it. And I will. What other choice do I have, after all?

But there is light in the darkness, hope in the despair, joy in the suffering. Whenever the shadows become too deep for me to see, the pain too much for me to cope with, I focus on that. I focus on the times we shared together. I focus on the memories of his smile and his eyes, the sound of his voice, the music of his laughter. I think of the warm comfort of his embrace, and I can almost, almost feel his arms around me. I can so nearly hear his voice murmur my name.

The thoughts of Gallus, the memories I have of him, they are what keeps me going. As long as I have them, I have hope, and I have a reason to fight, a reason to survive. Better still, I have a reason to smile, and laugh, and sing.

And as long as I can smile and laugh and sing, I think nothing will ever be quite as bad as it sometimes seems to be.

* * *

I made my way down the bridge that connected my platform to the centre circle with legs that felt like they were no longer a part of me. To my left and to my right, I saw J'shana and Brynjolf slowly doing the same. I felt as tired as I had felt after my first ceremony. Perhaps it was because of the lack of sleep I'd had recently, or maybe it was something about the ceremony itself, the transaction of such a powerful and binding Oath, that had sapped my strength.

_Gallus is looking at me with concern, but Mercer grins, his eyes glinting with amusement. '__Guess it's hard work, selling your soul to a Daedric Prince?' he teases me, and I nod, biting back a smile. I look at them, Imperial and Breton, the two men who are now my fellow Nightingales, and I know that I am prepared to fight until I am cut to pieces in order to defend them…_

'Nightingales.' J'shana's voice jolted me out of the painful memory. She seemed to be almost tasting the word. 'We're Nightingales now.'

Brynjolf shook his head wonderingly and pushed down his hood. 'Shor's beard, lass, if you'd told us it'd take that much out of us, I'd have had second thoughts.'

'No going back now, Bryn.' J'shana's voice was weary, but carried an edge of excitement. 'We've made our Oath. We're bound to Nocturnal now.' She, too, shook her head free of her hood, and I could see the anticipation on her face.

I nodded and looked at them both. Three pairs of eyes- amber, green and indigo- gleamed in the shadows of the cave, and the three of us, an elf, a man and a beast, stood together, and I knew then that we were siblings. Despite the differences between us in age and race and past, we were all Nightingales now. We had no secrets from each other. We were the Three, the Trinity. We might as well be one and the same.

And so I could not hide the truth from them. Not anymore. I had no right. Brynjolf and J'shana had left behind everything to do this for me. They had believed me, trusted me, followed me, even given up their souls for me. I had no reason to keep them in the dark any longer.

'And now I need to apologise,' I said quietly.

Their eyes narrowed in perfect unison. 'For what?' they both said together, and J'shana grinned in amusement.

'For keeping the truth from you,' I told them. 'But now you've transacted the Oath, it's time to reveal the final piece of the puzzle to you: Mercer's true crime.'

Brynjolf looked as if my words had slapped him in the face, and J'shana's tail stiffened until it looked like a furry, striped spear. 'What?' she gasped, staring at me in horror. 'He's done more?'

'What could be worse than what he's already done?' Brynjolf was clearly gritting his teeth.

I took a deep breath before I began. 'Mercer was able to open the Guild's vault without two keys because of what he stole from the Twilight Sepulchre- the Skeleton Key.'

J'shana hissed. 'Nocturnal mentioned that. She said we had to guard it. What is it?'

'Raw power,' I told her grimly.

The Khajiit held up a hand. 'Let's get going to Irknghtand. We've no time to lose. You can explain on the way.'

Brynjolf murmured agreement. I could easily detect the hidden message in J'shana's words. _Please, explain in a minute when I've had some time to cope with all this. I can't take any more right now._

We walked back to the entrance in silence. Meeko jumped up eagerly as we reached him, but he instantly became subdued, as if he could sense our exhaustion. He padded along behind us, his tail hanging low. Even the horses, when we reached them, did not pull eagerly at their tethers to get to us, or nuzzle their velvety noses into our faces or swish their tails in anticipation. They simply stood and stared at us a we untied them and mounted. They dashed forwards instantly as we dug our heels into their sides, but it seemed that they did so only from obedience. There was an impenetrable serious feeling hanging over all of us.

After a few minutes, J'shana spoke up at last. 'Go on, then. The Skeleton Key. What is it?'

I closed my eyes for a moment, then took the decision to begin at the end. 'When Mercer stole the Key, he compromised our ties to Nocturnal and, in essence, caused our luck to run dry.' I sighed. 'That was why I failed Nocturnal. Not only because I wasn't able to stop Mercer killing Gallus, but because I allowed him to take the key.'

I could see a question forming on the lips of both my companions, and I knew what it was. _What exactly is the Skeleton Key?_

'The Skeleton Key is what keeps open the Ebonmere, our conduit to Nocturnal's realm of Evergloam,' I told them, before they could interrupt. 'As long as the Ebonmere is open, Nocturnal's power can reach Nirn. Now that it's been taken, her influence can hardly reach us at all.'

Brynjolf's fists tightened around his reins. 'That son of a skeever! So that's why the Guild started to fall apart.'

'He didn't just steal the Key,' I said grimly. 'He stole the Guild's luck with it. He took all of the Key's power for himself.'

'It's a key that unlocks any door, then.' J'shana was chewing on her lip in a thoughtful manner.

'Well, yes.' I hesitated, a little uncertain of how to explain. 'But the Key isn't only restricted to physical barriers.'

J'shana tipped her head on one side. I wasn't sure whether she was confused, or just thinking deeply. Brynjolf muttered something that sounded like, 'No, you've lost me.'

I pursed my lips, trying to think of how to explain. Gallus and Mercer had had a relatively simple job when it came to explaining these things to me, since I'd already had first-hand experience with the Nightingales. But J'shana and Brynjolf were as ignorant as newborns.

'All of us possess untapped abilities,' I said finally, 'the potential to wield great power, securely sealed within our minds. Once you realise the Key can access these traits, the potential becomes limitless.'

Brynjolf's face paled, and J'shana's fur started to bristle. 'So he succeeds in almost everything he does,' she hissed. 'The Key makes him stronger, faster, bolder, wiser. He possesses the power to do practically everything he sets his mind to.'

'That's the idea,' I said bitterly.

I saw her talons slide out from the tips of her fingers. 'Sounds like no one should possess it. A thing like that? It's…' She swallowed and shook her head in disbelief. 'It's bringing chaos from the depths of Oblivion itself, into Nirn and into you.'

I looked at her, and for the first time, I think I looked at her properly. I didn't just take in her appearance now. I looked past the silver fur and the ebony stripes and the amber eyes, and into her soul. And I liked what I saw. She could not be far into her twenties, and yet there was wisdom inside her mind that some mortals more than three times her age could not have hoped to possess. She had her flaws- she was young, slightly impulsive, innocent and occasionally naïve, and she still had much to learn. And I could tell that she was keeping secrets from us. It was clear in her voice, in her eyes, in the way she looked at us. But whatever those secrets were, she had a right to keep them. Every mortal had secrets.

And despite her youth, she was strong, and she was dependable and true. There was something fierce and firm inside her, and her mind was as sharp as her talons. She understood the true danger of the situation, and she had taken on all that I had told her with patience and determination. And there was something else about her too, something I couldn't quite name.

It hit me suddenly, like a physical blow. She reminded me of Gallus. And she reminded me of myself.

She had Gallus's patience and wisdom, his calm and his reason. She had his firm resolve and unwavering loyalty to the Guild. And she had that fierce streak inside her that he had possessed as well. She had my inner fire and perseverance, my wariness and independence. She had my determination. And from what I'd seen of her, she was not only a skilled thief, but was a fearsome warrior, capable with both the bow and the sword. It was as if someone had gleaned the best parts of both Gallus and myself and meshed them into a different being.

Of course, she had her own traits as well. The way she spoke some things that should be questions as flat statements, as if she was already certain of the answer, was something unique to her. The slight air of vulnerability about her, and her shyness, was not something ever seen in Gallus or me. And the way she gave off an air of… I blinked. I had not noticed it until now. But there was a sense of calm confidence about her, a sensation I could only describe as an inner power.

I knew who it was who had shaped her birth. Nocturnal herself had given her these skills. I was sure of it. But that wasn't the only reason why she was the ideal Nightingale. She had a depth of soul to her, and an understanding of the world that so many other mortals lacked.

'Then you understand why this is about more than Mercer's lust for power,' I told her, forcing myself out of my thoughts. 'If the Key isn't returned to its position in the Twilight Sepulchre, things will never be the same for the Guild.'

That was a considerable understatement, to be honest, but J'shana seemed to understand. 'We'd be destroyed utterly.'

I nodded. 'As time passed, our luck would diminish to the point of non-existence. And whether you know it or not, our uncanny luck defines our trade.'

Brynjolf's eyes narrowed with determination. 'So now we kill Mercer, and we take the Key back to where it belongs.'

J'shana laughed, a bright and merry sound that somehow lifted my spirits instantly. 'First time I ever set out to return something!'

I couldn't help but grin. 'Very true. In our line of work, it's quite rare that we set out to return a stolen item to its rightful owner.'

'Desperate times call for desperate measures. Things don't always work out the way you expect.' Brynjolf shrugged. 'Talking of which, lass, I need to discuss a few things with you.'

J'shana twisted around in the saddle, reining Frost back slightly so that she could talk to Brynjolf properly. 'Fire away.'

'There's one last piece of business we need to sort out,' the Nord told her. 'The leadership of the Guild.'

So now was the time to tell her, I thought. I wasn't sure how she was going to take the news. She was the right choice, there was no doubt about it, but there was every chance that the young, fairly inexperienced Khajiit girl might not want the unexpected- not to mention difficult and dangerous- responsibility.

J'shana blinked, looking a little confused. 'What's to sort out? You're deputy; you succeed that traitorous snake.' She hissed the final two words. 'That's all there is to it.'

Brynjolf shook his head. 'Karliah and I had a long discussion while you were paying your little visit on Riftweald Manor. It's thanks to your efforts that Mercer's treachery has been exposed. After we deal with him, all that remains is restoring the Guild to its full strength.' He paused. 'As a result, we both feel that you have the potential of replacing Mercer as leader of the Thieves Guild.'

J'shana looked so stunned that it was a miracle she didn't fall out of her saddle. 'Me?' she squeaked, her eyes wide as two suns. 'But… what about you?'

Brynjolf gave her a lopsided grin. 'I've been at this game a long time, my young friend. A long time. I've stolen trinkets from nobles and framed priests for murder. I'm good at what I do-' He shrugged slightly- 'maybe one of the best. But it's all I know.'

He let out a long sigh of resignation. 'I'm not one to lead. Never desired it, never cared for it. Don't want it. I can't be the leader that the Guild leads right now. But you can.'

J'shana stared at him for a few more moments, then hesitantly dipped her head. 'I… I've never thought of myself as much of a leader. But if you think I can do it, then I trust your judgement.' She swallowed. 'I can't promise everything, but I'll do everything I can.'

'Well, we can't ask for more than that, lass.' Brynjolf's slight grin turned to a warm smile, one which I copied. 'Mind you, we have a bit of an errand to run before your coronation, so don't go getting sentimental on us now.'

I very nearly laughed, despite the sombre feeling that still lay deep inside me. 'He's right. You'd make as good a Guildmaster as any, and better than most,' I told her.

'The others might not like it. The ones who've been in the Guild longer than me. Vex. Vipir.' She grinned uneasily. 'I think Dirge might throw me into the canal.'

'He'll have to get past me first, lass. And this isn't about years. It's about being the right person.'

'You're the right person, J'shana,' I said softly. 'They'll know that.'

She smiled back at us, with a mixture of shyness and gratitude and eagerness and delight. 'Well, I hope I am,' she replied. 'And if I'm not the right person yet, then I'll make myself the right person. For the sake of us all.'

* * *

I have always hated rain. I expect I always will. I know it's necessary, to clean the land and give water to all the things that live upon it, but that has never stopped me loathing it. It tangles my hair, blows into my eyes, and soaks me to the skin. Whenever I hunt, rain smudges the tracks of my prey, making it harder to discern them. A little rain can create just the right amount of mud to make tracking a breeze, but too much can make hunting near impossible. Quite apart from that, it's such a miserable feeling, huddling into my clothes and hunching my shoulders and hanging my head to try and keep my warmth and fend of the relentless ocean pouring from the heavens.

I could tell that my companions were no keener on the weather than I was. The horses still ran doggedly onwards, but their pelts were soaked through, and they were sending water flying with almost every step. Meeko was bounding along beside Frost, but his shaggy coat poured with water, and his unhappiness was obvious. Brynjolf was faring the best of all of us, being a Nord, and therefore more resistant to the cold and the wet. J'shana, on the other hand, looked as miserable as it was possible for any mortal to be. Her fur was completely saturated, and her whiskers were drooping- both from discomfort and the raindrops that were weighing down their ends.

'I hate the rain,' she said suddenly, making Brynjolf and I glance at her. 'I grew up in a rainforest. But the rain in Skyrim's not like the rain in Elsweyr. Back home, it made everything seem richer and brighter and clearer, like the Divines were washing the world clean. But here, it just gets in the way. And it confuses all the scents. It's like being made half blind.'

'We must be nearly there by now,' Brynjolf said, glancing at me. 'I don't think any of us can put up with this much longer.'

'Not far,' I told them. 'We'll reach it any moment now.'

I certainly hoped so. Brynjolf was right. A few more minutes of this, and I might die of sheer misery.

We reached a break in the trees, and we all instantly reined back our horses to a halt. We had all seen the same sight at the same moment- the spires and towers of Irkgnthand rearing up above the treetops.

I shivered. I remembered how Gallus and I had come here before, so confident, so sure of ourselves, smiling, laughing, squabbling over who killed more bandits. And we had emerged with me half dead.

I just hoped that things would be different this time. Mercer would have gone before us; with the power of the Skeleton Key shielding from almost all harm, he might have cleared some of the opposition, making our task a little easier. And there was three of us now- four, if you counted Meeko. And we were going as a trinity- three Nightingales, delving into this gods-forsaken ruin in the name of our Lady, Nocturnal.

We would not fail. We could not fail. Too many lives depended on it.

We dismounted, tied up our horses, and slowly started to creep towards the ruins. If I had been harbouring any hopes that the outer towers were no longer a bandit camp, they were dashed a moment later as the orange glow of a campfire became visible in the dim light of the gathering dusk. I glanced up at the sky. It was beginning to turn from blue to a dusky indigo. Tomorrow, twenty five years would have passes since Gallus's murder. And tomorrow, we would avenge his killer.

J'shana breathed in deeply, tasting the air. 'Bandits,' she murmured. 'I think maybe nine or ten. I can't really tell.' She sniffed again. 'Damn this rain!'

I drew my bow and peered through the trees. There was a light breeze stirring the branches of the pines, and I didn't want to risk a long-range shot, in case the arrow was blown off course and alerted the bandits to our presence. 'We need to get a bit closer before we can attack.'

They both nodded. J'shana pulled out her own bow, and Brynjolf slid his dagger from its sheath. We crept forwards slowly, up to the foot of the ruins, all of us quivering with anticipation. I could almost see Gallus slinking silently along beside me, his eyes gleaming with excitement, his sword drawn, his whole body tensed in readiness…

I shook my head. _Forget the past for now, Karliah. The present's what matters. _I couldn't allow myself to become distracted.

As we reached the open space at the entrance, I caught sight of two of the bandits sitting alone, engrossed in a game of cards. J'shana glanced at me as she fitted an arrow to her bow, flicking her ears towards the one on the right, indicating her target. I nodded to show I had understood and took aim at the second. We both paused, standing still as statues for a heartbeat- then we released our arrows in unison. It was a simple shot, one that neither of us could have missed. Two arrows cut the air; two barbed tips hit home. Two bandits stiffened, blinked in confusion, then collapsed onto the half-melted snow with two soft thuds.

'Nice shot,' J'shana murmured quietly.

'And you,' I replied.

We started to inch forwards again, making our way over piles of rubble and up a flight of stairs. A Breton bandit standing on the ramparts whirled around as we reached the top, but Brynjolf lunged forwards, slicing his throat open in a swift movement. J'shana caught the Breton as he fell and lowered him to the ground slowly, making sure that the noise of him falling did not alert the others. Carefully and warily we made our way across the walltops, towards where the main group was gathered around the fire.

J'shana licked the tip of one clawed finger and held it into the air, testing the air. 'Slight breeze, blowing to the west,' she whispered. 'Should be simple enough.'

I dipped my head and carefully picked out my target- a woman who looked to be either an Imperial or a Breton. It was hard to tell in the rain. It was hard, looking at the face of the person I was just about to kill. But years of killing had hardened my heart when it came to bandits. They did not deserve my pity, nor any mercy.

I fired.

The Imperial-or-Breton woman fell with hardly a sound, my arrow embedded in her throat. Her fellows jumped to their feet and spun around, seeing us instantly. Brynjolf and Meeko ran forwards to meet them as they came, the Nord burying his dagger in the stomach of the first up to the hilt, the dog leaping at the neck of the Argonian woman who was too late to raise her sword. His teeth met in her neck, and a snarl came from him as he buried his fangs deeper. His victim let out a final, despairing scream of rage and agony before falling still.

There was a splintering sound as an ice spike collided with the wall above my head. I saw a Dunmer like myself readying another spell and fired. The wind blew my arrow slightly away from my target, and it was his arm, rather than his heart, that I struck, but as he collapsed to the ground with a yell of pain, J'shana hit him in his exposed side. The force of the shot threw him onto his back, and he gasped for a few more moments before the life was wiped from his body. Brynjolf was making short work of a Nord, whose warhammer might have had longer reach, but was slow and clumsy, and no match for my fellow Nightingale's quick, deadly strikes. A Bosmer, another Nord, and a Redguard were closing in on J'shana. Her first arrow missed the Wood Elf, albeit only by a hair's breadth, and she hissed with frustration. As they neared her, she slung her bow over her back and drew her sword- Gallus's sword. With a fearsome roar, she hurled herself upon them.

I had not seen J'shana fight before, not properly. I had seen the evidence that she could fight- she had survived the Draugr in Snow Veil Sanctum and the guards of Calcelmo's museum and Mercer's house to prove it- but I had never been witness to her skill in battle. Watching her now, I understood how she had surpassed the obstacles she had met so easily. She was like a blur of silver-grey lightning, stabbing, lunging, leaping back and swiping again, so quickly that both her opponents lay dead at her feet before either of them were able to make sense of what had happened. It wasn't just that she was skilled with a blade. She clearly was, but there she didn't fight with the grace and precision that Gallus had. No, it was something different that made her so powerful. There was a terrifying ferocity about the way that J'shana battled her foes. Her fur bristling, her tail lashing, her ears flat against her head and her teeth bared, she burned through them like fire, cutting them down as if they offered no more resistance than blades of grass. The innocent, vulnerable-seeming youngster she had always appeared to be to me was suddenly gone, replaced with a ferocious warrior who knew no fear and no mercy. There was an unsuppressed fury about the way she wielded her blade, as if she was taking out the anger she felt over every wrong that had ever been done to her on her hapless foes.

A strange silence fell as the last of them toppled to the ground. Dunmer, Nord, Khajiit and war-dog looked slowly and carefully at each other, as if they had learned new things about their companions by watching them fight.

J'shana let her sword arm drop to her side, and she placed her other hand over her heart. 'Thanks be to you, mighty Alkosh, for this victory,' she murmured. 'Bless this battle, and send the spirits of our fallen foes to the rest they deserve. Watch over us and guide our footsteps as we journey onwards in your name, towards the coming war. May the twin moons light our path.'

I looked at her with new eyes for the second time that day. Here was a warrior who slaughtered her enemies as if they were cattle, yet was so shy, so quiet, in all else. There was a mystery surrounding this Khajiit that I could not make out.

She looked up at Brynjolf and I, and I was almost certain that I saw sorrow in those flame-coloured eyes.

'I think that's all of them,' she said softly. 'Let's go.'

I decided that my questions for her would have to wait until later. Now was not the time to ask them, nor for J'shana to answer them.

We crossed the narrow wooden bridges carefully and slowly- or rather, Brynjolf and I did. J'shana bounded across them with ease, using her tail to keep her balanced. It seemed like only seconds before we were standing before the enormous golden gates, the gates that led either to death or to victory.

We stood there for a second, simply staring at them.

Finally, J'shana stepped up to them. 'It's time, then,' she murmured.

Time. Time to venture forwards into the dark. Time to find the traitor and bring about his destruction. Time to repair the damage that my failure had done. Time to save our Guild. Time for justice. Time for battle. Time for the end of a betrayal.

'Yes,' I confirmed quietly. 'It's time.'

J'shana's tail flicked. Her amber eyes narrowed. She drew in a deep, long breath- and flung open the doors.

* * *

**Another chapter down! It's actually scaring me when I think about how close I'm getting to the end. I just realised that yesterday marked five months since the beginning of the story. Thank you to everyone who's read this since then!**

**As usual, please review and thanks for reading. Next chapter will probably be up in about four days, sooner if possible. See you then! :)**


	37. Pursuit

CHAPTER THIRTY SIX

Every step we took echoed like the bellow of a maddened bear through the silence. The slight rustling of our capes sounded like the rush of a raging river. Even the sound of our breathing seemed loud as a gale roaring through the mountains.

We walked only a little way forwards, our eyes uneasily scanning the shadows, when J'shana stopped dead with a sharp intake of breath, and a low hiss. 'Look.'

She pointed, and I followed her outstretched arm with my eyes. I stiffened instantly, tightening my grip on my bow. The air smelt of blood and death, and as I looked at the ground, I realised why.

The bandits had died horribly. It was clear at once. The floor at the foot of the steps we stood at the top of was smothered in blood. One or two of them lay on their bedrolls, gaping wounds through their stomachs. One lay with his arm outstretched, still reaching for his sword in death. A third was stretched out a little way up the set of steps ahead of us, his back ripped apart. There was a smear of blood leading from the top of the steps to where he lay, as if he had tried to flee and been cut down, and had rolled or been kicked to his final resting place. A fourth was huddled against a wall, as if she had made a pitiful attempt to hide, one that could only ever have failed.

For a while, none of us spoke. None of us moved; except for Meeko, who warily padded over to the nearest body and sniffed it. He bared his teeth and snarled, his hackles rising. None of us needed to ask whose scent he had detected on the corpse, even if he had been able to reply. Only one person would do something like this.

'I don't understand,' J'shana whispered. Her eyes were wide with shock and horror. 'The bandits outside were all alive. He must have just snuck past them. This lot were asleep. Why couldn't he have just let them be?'

'Because he's Mercer,' I told her bitterly. 'He didn't care that they were helpless.' I knew that we might well have killed these men and women too, but only if they had woken and seen us. We would have kept to the shadows and crept past them, letting them live as long as they did not attempt to stop us. But Mercer had simply murdered them all.

Brynjolf bent down by one of them, tentatively touching his blood-streaked skin. 'He's still warm,' he said, with a mixture of excitement and anxiety. 'Mercer can't be far ahead of us.'

J'shana lashed her tail back and forth. 'You know what he's trying to do, don't you?'

Of course I did. 'He's trying to tell us that this is what he's going to do to us.' I looked at the bodies, slumped where they had fallen, their faces twisted with fear and agony. He could have killed them quickly, quietly and painlessly, or else not killed them at all. But he had done this to them. And he intended to do the same with us.

'He can try,' Brynjolf growled.

'He will try,' J'shana muttered, stroking the hilt of her sword. 'But he will not succeed. Not as long as I stand in his path.'

Her fierce courage, and the certainty with which she spoke, gave me strength. I had no reason to fear Mercer, I told myself firmly. Even with all the power of the Skeleton Key, he could not defeat me. Not when I had two such loyal friends, a Daedric Prince and my will to avenge Gallus giving me the spirit to go on.

_He will die, _I thought, and I knew that it was true. _Twenty five years since he betrayed us all, he will face justice for what he has done._

We left the chamber, eager to escape from the terrible sight and the bitter, sour scent of the bandits' blood. I could see rage plain in J'shana's eyes, and I knew that she felt all of my anger. Even when it came to bandits, the one thing a mortal never did, if they had even the slightest knowledge of the meaning of honour, was to murder a helpless victim who was not ready for them. And even if you had no choice but to take the life of someone who could not fight back, then you should at least feel some remorse. But Mercer had clearly shown as much guilt as he had restraint or pity.

'Have either of you two ever been to a Dwemer ruin before?' I asked, as we emerged into a second chamber.

I had expected Brynjolf to shake his head, as indeed he did. On the other hand, to my surprise, J'shana nodded grimly. 'This is my fourth.'

'Your fourth?' I exclaimed in disbelief, staring at her with wide eyes. 'You've been into three Dwemer ruins before?'

She dipped her head.

'And you survived them all?' For all her skill in combat and her bravery and spirit, I couldn't believe that J'shana could venture into three Dwarven halls and come out alive. They were simply too dangerous.

'I wasn't alone,' she shrugged. Her tone was light, casual, but I could detect a hint of trepidation in her eyes. 'I had Meeko with me. And…' She suddenly trailed off, as if she thought she had been about to reveal too much. 'So, you went to Irkgnthand before?' she asked me, swiftly and skilfully changing the subject. 'To find the Eyes?'

I nodded. 'Gallus and I came here looking for them. Mercer wouldn't come. We only got about halfway through. Then I took a sword through the chest.'

J'shana winced, and Brynjolf swallowed. 'Falmer?' the Khajiit asked edgily.

I nodded. 'I'd have died if Gallus hadn't been here. I hope things will be different for us.'

'Well, you were unprepared, lass.' Brynjolf shrugged slightly. 'At least we know what we'll be facing.'

'And Mercer will have gone before us,' J'shana added. 'He'll have taken out some of them.'

Meeko suddenly let out a soft, warning bark. We glanced at each other, then as one, we readied our weapons. Two arrows and two daggers glinted in the pale light, and a set of sharp white teeth shone.

J'shana angled her ears forwards, her sensitive nose drawing in the scents. 'Sphere,' she hissed, her fur bushing up.

I swore mentally, and Brynjolf's eyes narrowed in determination. A moment later I heard the all too familiar hiss of steam and clank of metal that heralded the Sphere's approach. I pulled back my arrow until the fletching brushed against my cheeks, every muscle in my body tensed in anticipation. A flash of bronze-coloured metal caught my eye, and I fired instantly. A moment later, J'shana's arrow rushed past me. Both arrow struck home, one in the Sphere's head, the other where its heart would have been had it been a creature of flesh and blood. It reeled back, steam gushing from the holes in its metal plating, yet quickly righted itself and continued to clank towards us. Brynjolf struck quickly, dashing up to it and jabbing first one dagger and then the other into its chest. It struck out with its sword-arm, but though the blow knocked Brynjolf back, it did not penetrate his armour. J'shana leaped back a pace and whipped her dagger from her belt. Her eyes narrowed as she took aim; then her arm snapped forwards, sending the blade hurtling through the air. It struck the Sphere in the hole where her arrow had already weakened its armour. There was a smashing sound, and the Sphere fell back with a clash of metal. I sent a final arrow into its head to make sure that it was well and truly destroyed.

'Damn. Just as I was getting warmed up,' Brynjolf said with a wry grin.

'And how long exactly does it take you to get warmed up, Brynjolf?' I asked, smirking.

J'shana gave the pile of useless machinery a contemptuous kick as she bent down to retrieve our weapons. 'I. Hate. Dwemer,' she hissed, handing my arrows back to me.

'Having seen this thing, I'll second that, lass,' Brynjolf said with a grimace.

I replaced the arrows in my quiver. 'We'll be seeing plenty more of them,' I warned them. 'Though if I remember rightly, they were only really on the first few chambers last time. It was mostly Falmer, further on.'

J'shana's ears flicked uneasily. 'That's no better. I hate killing Falmer. I just can't forget that they used to be people like us.'

'Well, they're not anymore,' I replied shortly. I had little pity for the Falmer after what I had been through at their hands.

We kept moving, through more large chambers where every word we spoke bounced off the walls a hundred times before fading into silence. Several times, we passed the empty husks of metal that had once been Spheres or Dwarven Spiders, until they had encountered Mercer. All bore gaping holes in their armour, and some had been completely torn to pieces. The sight of them made me tremble inwardly, though I didn't let my fear show on the outside. _How can we hope to overcome someone who can do all this? _I thought. It had been hard enough for us to take down the first Sphere, even with all of us working together.

The light grew weaker as we progressed through the corridors, and I glanced at J'shana. 'Maybe you should take the lead. You can see better than Brynjolf or I.'

She frowned. 'But you've been here before-'

'I don't remember it well enough to lead you. I tried to forget as much about this place as I could,' I said tersely.

The Khajiit looked uncertain, but nodded and stepped in front of me, her ears pointing forwards in order to detect any sounds that might signify the approach of a foe. She held up her hand for us to stop as we approached the next room. 'Fire traps,' she said apprehensively, pointing with her bow.

I looked ahead of us and saw that she was right. Several revolving columns filled the next room, steadily spraying out jets of flame as they turned around. I remembered this place dimly from when I had been here before with Gallus. We'd managed to get past them, though Gallus had singed the hem of his cape slightly.

We moved forwards slowly. 'Maybe we should go one at a time,' Brynjolf suggested. 'Test which way is easiest.'

J'shana nodded and put away her bow, facing up to the first column. 'Sounds like a plan.'

I shook my head at her. 'No, I'll go first. I think there was a pile of rubble we climbed over last time. If we can find that, it'll be easier.' Seeing J'shana's hesitation, I added, 'Don't forget, burnt fur smells far worse than burnt flesh.'

She laughed and nodded. 'Okay, but be careful.'

She didn't have to tell me that, I thought grimly. I warily edged forwards into the room. The moment the first stream of flame passed me, I dashed past the column to a safe patch near the wall. I tried to make my footsteps as quiet as possible. There were holes on the wall that Spheres might well emerge from, and the last thing we needed was a fight in this place.

'It's safe here,' I called, and moved forwards to the next one. I heard my companions following behind me, J'shana first, then Brynjolf. The second trap was harder to avoid, and I felt its heat against my skin as I ducked past it, but I made it to the rubble pile without injury. It was easy to make it past the third column by clambering over the fallen section of the stone stairs, but there was no avoiding the final trap, which stood directly between us and the door to the next room. I tensed, gathering my nerve, then sprinted for the gate. I fumbled with the latch for a moment as the fire jet slowly wound towards me, but just as I was bracing myself for the pain, the bolt slid back and the door swung open. I leapt through with a gasp of relief. Meeko, short enough to simply duck under the flames, bounded over to join me, while J'shana and Brynjolf followed more slowly. Finally, we all stood together on the other side.

'This is what I mean about the Dwemer,' J'shana said crankily, though there was amusement in her voice as well. 'They really weren't keen on visitors, were they?'

A narrow, winding corridor led to another flight of steps, and then to a circular platform with cogs lining the edge, and a lever positioned in the middle. J'shana twitched her whiskers as she stepped onto it. 'I've found these things before. You pull the lever, and it takes you down. The Dwemer might have been antisocial, but they were pretty ingenious.'

I joined her on the metal circle, but Brynjolf hung back warily. 'How do we know this contraption won't break down halfway and send us plummeting on a one-way trip to Evergloam?'

J'shana shrugged. 'It seems safe enough to me. And how else are we going to get down?'

'On your own head be it, lass,' Brynjolf said, raising and lowering one shoulder as he came to join us.

J'shana thrust her weight against the lever, and the cogs started winding with a screech of ancient metal and a low hiss. Brynjolf grasped hold of the lever to steady himself. The platform lurched a little way downwards abruptly, making us all stagger, then started to sink more sedately. The entrance to the lift rose up and out of sight until the walls surrounded us, and I suddenly realised how terrible it would be if the platform stopped working now. We would be completely trapped. No way out.

But the Dwemer had known what they were doing when they made it, and despite being ancient, the mechanism still worked. I saw light shining from beneath us, and suddenly a doorway was rising up ahead of us. As we reached it, the lift suddenly snapped to a stop so suddenly that it sent Brynjolf- who'd had his eyes screwed tightly shut- stumbling backwards into a wall. There was a clunk of machinery, another quiet hiss of air, and we ground to a halt.

J'shana stepped warily out into the corridor ahead of us, sniffing the air. 'I think it's clear,' she announced. 'Let's keep moving.'

The corridor led down yet another stairway and up to a set of tall golden doors. J'shana kicked them open, then jumped back with a yowl of alarm as a spiked ball swung through the air towards her, missing her head by inches. She stood stock still, trembling with shock, until it lost its momentum and fell still.

'S'rendarr's mercy!' she gasped. 'That thing nearly took my head off!'

'Mercer's doing,' I growled. 'We should tread carefully. I wouldn't be surprised if he'd left behind a few more surprises for us.'

'He has.' Brynjolf pointed to a small table standing by the wall. Set on top of it were a trio of lockpicks and a small bottle of Black-Briar reserve.

J'shana snorted scornfully. 'Mercer has an atrocious sense of humour.'

'Maybe so,' I said dryly. 'But right now, he holds the power of the Gods in his hands.'

J'shana shuddered slightly and took the lead again. We made our way through the small room, past the mangled form of a Spider that had met its end on the point of Mercer's blade, and into a vast cavern. We were standing on a ledge surrounded by tall bronze fencing, and the rest of the chamber was sprawled out far below us. I stepped up to the fence, peering through the bars, and a sudden flash of movement caught my eye. I gasped a I took in a dark figure- only the size of a beetle from where we were standing, creeping towards a set of Falmer huts, a gold-coloured sword in its hand.

'It's Mercer!' I gasped, and the others spun around abruptly, drawing their weapons. 'Look- down there!'

'I'm on it, lass,' Brynjolf barked, and J'shana let out a snarl. They rushed over to the grating, squinting through the bars. J'shana whipped an arrow from her quiver and desperately tried to take aim through the fence. As I watched, Mercer suddenly dashed forwards. His sword caught the light for a moment; then a faint squeal of pain came from below us, and the pale form of a Falmer slipped from the ledge and fell to the bottom of the chamber. Mercer sheathed his sword and turned his back on the ledge where we stood, striding confidently into the gloom.

'Damn it!' Brynjolf yelled from behind me. 'There's no way through.'

J'shana pointed her arrow through the bars, but I placed a hand on her bow and gently lowered it. 'There's no point, J'shana. We can't get him from here; it's too far. It'd just waste a perfectly good arrow.'

For a moment, she hesitated, scowling at Mercer's retreating back, then she relented and replaced her weapons. 'I guess you're right. It's just that he's being so…' Her voice trailed off.

'Arrogant,' Brynjolf finished.

I nodded. 'He's toying with us,' I told them bitterly. 'He wants us to follow.'

'Aye, lass,' Brynjolf agreed, 'and we'll be ready for him.'

I tore my eyes away from the sight of my hated enemy disappearing into the murk of the chamber. At least we knew now that we were close behind him. Soon, we would find him, and then, he would be ours.

As we walked on, through another door and down the next passageway, I noticed piles of Chaurus eggs lining the walls, a sure sign the Falmer were near. I shuddered, secretly hoping that Mercer would deal with most of them for us. Not only would it slow him down, it might save me from having to face them again.

My hopes were dashed instantly as we emerged into another chamber. Again, we found ourselves overlooking the chamber from a ledge, and I could see clearly that it was crawling with Falmer.

'There's a gate,' Brynjolf pointed out. 'Shut, though.'

J'shana cast her eyes around. 'Lever!' she hissed, dashing over to it. She yanked on it with all her strength, but the gate didn't budge.

'Do you remember this from before?' she asked me, turning to me with a confused expression.

I shook my head. 'The gate was open when Gallus and I came through here. Mercer must have shut it behind him.' I frowned. 'Maybe the mechanism's broken.'

Brynjolf was looking down into the cavern, examining the gate closely. 'I don't think so, lass. There's a set of cogs on either side of it, and only one of them's turning. Maybe we need to find another lever and pull that before it'll open.'

'Bryn, you're a genius.' J'shana spun around and sprinted across the ledge. A moment later, she gave a shout of triumph. 'He's right. There's another one here.'

She tugged at it, but with a sharp gasp of frustration I realised that the gate still wouldn't stir. J'shana spat something in Ta'agra that would probably have been discernible as an oath in any language.

'The other set of cogs just stopped,' Brynjolf told her helpfully.

She cursed again and placed her hand on the lever. 'Okay, let's try this another way. Karliah, you get that one, and I'll pull this one. If it doesn't open then, I'll have to resort to drastic measures.'

'What sort of drastic measures?'

She didn't answer. I shrugged and pulled the lever. J'shana tugged on the other, and to my delight and relief the gate slid downwards and out of sight.

'Damned Dwemer,' J'shana muttered, drawing her bow. 'Now, let's go deal with those Falmer.'

To my relief, only a few of them were awake, and those that were not sleeping seemed absorbed in smearing mud over their skin, as if trying to camouflage themselves. A well-aimed arrows felled them quickly, and we moved onwards, down yet another corridor, and into a vast cavern I recognised instantly.

I stopped dead.

'This was as far as we got,' I murmured. 'Gallus and I never made it through this cave.'

Brynjolf and J'shana glanced uneasily at each other. Then, as one, they drew their weapons.

'Nocturnal is with us,' J'shana said firmly. 'She will guide us. We will find Mercer. And we will bring him to justice. We will.'

We stood in silence for a moment; then Brynjolf looked around the cave. 'Looks like we can take the high road or the low road through this chamber,' he commented, gesturing to the walkways and paths that wound across it. 'Your choice,' he added, glancing at us.

I smiled behind my mask. Much as I liked the loyal, friendly Nord, he had been right when he said that he wasn't one to lead.

J'shana shrugged. 'I'd prefer high, myself. Might give us more range to fire.'

I nodded. 'Gallus and I went the low way, and it nearly killed us both. I'm with J'shana.'

Brynjolf nodded. 'High road it is, then.'

We started slinking towards the foot of the nearest walkway. Three dark, shadowy figures, we started to move up it, smoothly, stealthily, almost seeming to glide as if our feet were not even touching the floor. Even Meeko was hardly making a sound. As we neared the top, I began to hope that we might be able to make it across without being detected.

It was a vain hope, of course.

Meeko suddenly gave a bark to alert us, and a moment later a flash of bluish white caught my eye. I reeled back just in time to dodge an ice spike that narrowly missed my head. J'shana fired instantly at the Falmer that had cast it, striking it in the side. It let out a savage, twisted roar and started to run towards us. J'shana fired again, but it jumped to the side in time to avoid her shot. I nocked an arrow of my own to my bow and pulled back the strong. 'Dodge this!' I shouted, letting my shaft fly. It struck the Falmer in the back of the neck, felling him instantly. But even as he crumpled to the ground, I knew that the damage had been done. Alerted by the spellcaster's cry, Falmer were beginning to emerge from their huts, bounding towards us, their eyes gleaming with malice.

'There's too many!' J'shana yelled, taking out one that was instantly replaced by three more. She was right. There were as many as had attacked Gallus and I as we had ventured through his cavern- maybe even more. However many our arrows took down, the rest kept coming in a relentless wave of pale-skinned, red-eyed rage.

I saw them closing in, and without thinking, I shouted at the top of my voice. 'Nocturnal, help us!'

And the entire cavern shook to its foundations.

A growling sound like thunder rang through the air, followed by an ear-splitting smash. Without warning, the walkway collapsed beneath us and we all tumbled to the ground. Brynjolf and I landed awkwardly, with sharp gasps of pain. Meeko was lucky enough to fall onto a patch of soft mud. J'shana twisted in mid-air with the feline grace that only her race could boast and landed perfectly on her feet.

'What the Oblivion was that?' she shouted, her fur bristling with a mixture of anger and fear.

The Falmer had stopped their dash towards us, and were looking about them in stark terror. For a moment, they dithered- then they turned and ran, screeching and clambering over each other in their mad panic to get away. Brynjolf threw a dagger, slaying one, and J'shana and I fired several more times. Within seconds, all of them were either dead or fled.

We all stared at each other.

'What _was_ that?' J'shana repeated. 'An earthquake?'

I shook my head. 'I don't know.'

'Not sure I want to know,' Brynjolf muttered edgily.

For a moment, we kept looking at each other, then J'shana flicked the tip of her tail. 'We'd better keep moving. I don't know why those Falmer ran, but I'm not hanging around for them to come back.'

On we went through the gloom of the chamber, until suddenly we were met with an astonishing and terrifying sight. Ahead of us, one of the turrets had fallen, smashing into the ground and shattering into rubble- and blocking the doorway ahead of us. I could see the mangled, twisted limbs of Falmer poking out from underneath it, and they were stained with fresh blood. The air was still thick with dust, and the piles of smashed stone were still shifting.

'So this is what we heard,' Brynjolf breathed, staring with wide eyes. 'The entire tower collapsed!'

I shook my head in amazement. 'The only reason to do that would be to block pursuit. It must be Mercer.' I swallowed. 'We'll have to find another way around.'

I saw Brynjolf's face pale, even behind his visor. 'Mercer was able to knock this thing down? Gods…'

I shook my head bleakly. 'It's the Key, Brynjolf. With it in his hands, there's no telling what he's capable of.'

There was silence for a moment.

'Well,' J'shana said with a wry grin, 'that's a comforting thought.'

I smiled slightly, and Brynjolf let out a quiet snort.

With the doorway blocked by the fallen turret, we had no choice but to take the only other way out of the chamber- another raised walkway, leading up to a doorway. It opened onto another passageway, leading down into inky darkness.

'Careful,' J'shana called warningly, as she started to descend the steps. 'There's a whole load of-'

There was a sharp snap of metal, and Brynjolf let out a roar of mingled pain and shock.

'… bear traps,' J'shana finished.

'I noticed that, lass,' Brynjolf hissed through gritted teeth. 'Don't suppose you'd like to try and get me out of this?'

'Keep still.' J'shana knelt down beside him. He had had the misfortune to step directly onto the trap, and it had snapped shut around his ankle. His armoured boots had protected him from the worst of the damage, but in a few places it had managed to pierce the metal, and his face was drawn with pain.

J'shana pulled out a lockpick and started to fiddle with the mechanism keeping it shut. 'I know how to deal with these. Been held in a few of them myself. Don't move, Bryn. I'll have you out of this in a heartbeat.'

She slid her lockpick into the right position and tugged it sharply. The jaws of the trap sprang open, and Brynjolf wrenched his leg from their grasp.

'Are you all right?' I asked him.

'I'll live,' he muttered, gingerly testing out his injured foot.

'I've got healing potions,' J'shana told him, passing him one.

He downed it quickly. 'Shor's blood. Why'd anyone leave bear traps in a place like this? There's no bloody bears to trap.'

'No, but there's us,' I pointed out. 'I'd bet my bow that Mercer left these here to slow us down.'

Brynjolf swore under his breath. 'Well, it worked.'

He carefully placed his weight on his wounded leg. He winced a little, but nodded at us. 'I'm ready to move on when you are.'

On we went, paying careful attention to where we placed our feet. A smaller chamber awaited us at the end of the corridor, one with a small ante-chamber leading off it. There was a gate directly ahead of us, and it was clearly the way forwards, my eyes caught sight of something in the ante-chamber. It looked like… words. Written on the wall in untidy writing I knew only too well.

I ran into the smaller room without a second's thought. I had been right. There on the wall, painted onto it in a messy scrawl, were four words. They had been written backwards, but it was simple to work out what they said.

'One step ahead. Mercer.' I snarled the words, my fists clenched with fury.

J'shana's ears flattened against her head. 'He's forgotten one thing,' she murmured. 'He may be one step ahead. But we're one step behind, and we're closing in.'

I nodded. 'Quickly. We've no time to lose.'

A few more sets of doors led us into another wide, open cavern. J'shana stopped in the doorway with a low hiss, and I stepped up beside her and saw what she had seen.

'Shor's bones!' Brynjolf breathed, his voice filled with both fear and awe. 'Look at that monstrosity!'

I peered through the gloom into the centre of the cave. A large golden archway was fixed to the floor, and filling it was an enormous, hulking figure, more than twice the size and width of a man. The watery light glinted on its metal armour plating.

'It's a Dwarven Centurion,' I told him. I'd never seen one myself, but I'd heard rumours of them. 'Very tough, and _very _deadly.'

'And an Oblivion of a lot quicker than they look,' J'shana added.

'Well, looks like we can take the beast on or sneak around. Your call, lass. We're right behind you.' Brynjolf glanced at J'shana.

The young Khajiit laughed mirthlessly. 'You're kidding, Bryn. There's no way we're sneaking through this place. Look.'

She pointed with her bow, and I noticed with a cold shiver of dread that there was a crowd of Falmer in the chamber as well. 'Perfect,' I growled. 'We can't take on all of them and the Centurion as well.'

'No,' J'shana said slowly, her eyes thoughtful. 'But we might be able to use them as weapons against each other.'

She carefully reached into her quiver and fitted an arrow to her bow. 'Alkosh, guide us through this battle,' she muttered, and fired.

The shot whipped through the air and struck the Centurion in the chest. The arrow did not pierce the metal casing, but I could see that J'shana had not intended it to. It bounced off the machine with a loud ping, and instantly, the Centurion came to life. Steam billowed from it as it stepped out from its archway, its massive head scanning the room for danger. Its gaze- if it had one- fell instantly upon the Falmer that surrounded it. Its mighty arms swung through the air, and there was a loud smack as they collided with the chest of the nearest Falmer. It was thrown backwards into one of the massive columns holding up the roof. There was a snapping sound as its bones shattered on impact. It slid down the column to the floor and lay still.

The other Falmer shrieked, snatching up their weapons and dashing towards their attacker, but they were no match for its fury and strength. One by one, they all fell- burned to death by scorching steam, torn apart by its blades, or pounded into the ground by its feet and fists. I watched it in disbelief as Falmer after Falmer was slain. How three of us and a dog hope to defeat such a thing?

There was a deathly silence as the last Falmer was crushed beneath the monster's foot. 'Dammit,' J'shana snarled. 'I'd hoped they might take it out for us.'

Brynjolf twirled his daggers around in his hands. 'We'll just have to give it everything we've got, lass.'

She nodded. 'That we will.'

As one, we strode forwards, our weapons shining in the pale light. Our battle cries mingled in the cold, misty air.

'Alkosh strike you down!'

'My blade thirsts for your blood!'

'Nocturnal, guide my hand!'

The Centurion turned instantly, with a screech of metal that sounded eerily like a bellow of rage. Brynjolf and Meeko ran towards it, and J'shana and I stood side by side at the top of the stairs, arrows quivering on our bowstrings.

One arrow- I wasn't sure whose it was- fell off its armour, but one struck home between its head and neck. It did little damage, little more than a gnat bite to the enormous creature, but for a moment, it made it stop long enough for Brynjolf to dart in, slashing at its legs with both knives. The Centurion swung its arm at him, but the Nord leaped back just in time. Meeko jumped forwards and made a futile effort to bite its foot. His teeth made no impression on the thick metal, but it was distracted for a second, allowing me to send another arrow into its head.

It stopped short and leaned towards us, exhaling a thick cloud of steam. Knowing that it would boil us alive in our armour if it caught us, both J'shana and I launched ourselves from the platform. I landed with a splash in the shallow water on the floor of the cave. I realised I was unable to get a clear shot from where I was standing- the stairs blocked my view. Quickly, I dashed around the side of them, and instantly regretted it as the Centurion's arm swung towards me out of nowhere. I yelled in surprise and tried to pull back. Too late. The blow did not hit me full-on – I would have been dead for sure if it had done- but it struck me a glancing blow that, light as it was, was enough to knock me off my feet and onto the floor. I scrabbled to stand, but the Centurion's foot came down towards me, and I'd had the bad luck to fall between two boulders that stopped me from rolling aside. I had only one option. As the Centurion lowered its foot, ready to crush me into the earth, I reached up and grabbed hold of it, straining against it with all my strength. I had hoped to buy myself enough time to move, but I knew instantly that it would be impossible. It was too strong. I would only be able to keep it away from me for a second more, and then my strength would fail and I would be dead. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Brynjolf desperately stab at the monster's leg, but to no avail. Meeko tried again to bite, but his teeth glanced uselessly off the Centurion's armour. This was it. This was the end. This was when I died.

I closed my eyes.

And then the Centurion suddenly staggered backwards away from me. Gasping with relief, I staggered to my feet, and my eyes widened as I took in the incredible sight.

J'shana was clinging to its head with one hand, gripping onto it as if her life depended on it. With the other hand, she was raising Gallus's sword high above her head. Her eyes glinted with battle-fire as she brought down the blade with a savage roar, some sort of battle cry in Ta'agra. The shining metal ripped right through the Centurion's metal skull. Its arms flailed, trying to dislodge the Khajiit from its back, but she held firm. Keeping a tight hold on the hilt of Gallus's sword, embedded deeply in the metal, she reached into its head. For a few seconds, she groped around, eyes narrowed with concentration, then suddenly she wrenched her hand back out with a yell of triumph, clutching a soul gem tightly in her palm.

The effect was instantaneous. One moment, the Centurion was a mighty, massive, unstoppable monster, as ferocious as a cornered sabre cat. The next, it was as if all the power it had possessed had been wiped from its body. It simply crumpled and fell to the ground with a crash of splintering metal, like a giant man who had been transfixed through the heart with an arrow. J'shana leaped gracefully from its head and replaced Gallus's sword in its sheath, smiling broadly.

'I wasn't sure that was going to work,' she said breathlessly, 'but it sure looks like it did.'

Brynjolf stared at her in amazement. 'What did you do, lass?'

She held out the soul gem. 'Dwemer animunculi are powered by these things. Remove them, and you wipe out its power source, render it helpless. Kill it dead.' She shrugged. 'Not that it was ever alive to kill.'

'J'shana,' I said quietly, taking a step towards her. 'You just saved my life.'

She smiled, shrugging again. 'I couldn't let it kill you, could I?'

I lowered my head and closed my eyes. 'After Snow Veil Sanctum, you said you owed me a debt you could never repay.' I raised my head again and met her exhilarated amber gaze. 'You've just repaid that debt.'

Her smile widened. 'I didn't do it because of that.'

I looked from J'shana, to Brynjolf, to Meeko, and back to J'shana. And I knew that the young Khajiit was right. She had not saved me because we would be even then, and she had not saved me because her Oath bound her to. She had saved me, I thought, and thinking it made my heart swell with warmth, because we were friends.

And that was why I would save her, or Brynjolf, or even Meeko, if I had to. Because I cared for them. It was such a small thing, but to me, to someone who had not known the meaning of friendship for so, so long, it meant the entire world. And more.

* * *

We were nearing our goal.

We had been in Irkgnthand for hours now. If it weren't for the handful of stamina potions I'd had the foresight to bring along, we would have been dead on our feet from exhaustion. I wasn't sure exactly how long we had been in the darkness of the ruin, but if I were to hazard a guess, I would have said that it was somewhere between midnight and one o'clock in the morning. Twenty five years ago today, Gallus had died. And now, vengeance was finally close at hand.

We knew for certain now that the Eyes were in the ruin. In one of the Dwemer slave pens, we had found a long-dead man tied down to a metal rack, a hastily scrawled note in the pocket of his torn tunic. The words made my skin prickle when I thought of them.

_Nobody thought they were real, but I've seen them. The Eyes of the Snow Elves! _

_The Dwarves thought they took them from the Falmer, but they themselves were fooled. A statue, build in secrecy by the slaves, the eyes burn into you, and I see them even now. S'raffa escaped through the collapsing tunnel, but he'll never escape what we've seen. Men will never believe him, and he'll be driven mad by the knowledge that he'll never see them again. But I may yet see them again before I die._

It made me shudder. I was not here for the Eyes; I was here to take revenge, to stop Mercer, to retrieve the Skeleton Key. And these jewels, these legendary Eyes that held so much value… the knowledge of what they had done to the thief who had died, his only thoughts to see them once more, to lay eyes one them one final time, was enough to make me want to turn back without a moment of hesitation. I did not care for these Eyes. All I cared about was finding Mercer. The Eyes could remain in the statue forever for all I cared. As far as I was concerned, they were far more trouble than they were worth. The only reason I might care about our finding them was to use their value to rebuild the Guild.

But they had driven Mercer down here. I wondered whether he, too, had been driven to insanity by the thought of finding them.

It wouldn't have taken much. Mercer Frey was mad enough already.

J'shana stopped suddenly, glancing up a the wide golden pipes that ran along the walls. 'Do you hear that?'

I stopped walking and listened too, straining my ears. I was just able to detect a rushing, whispering sound. 'Yes. Sounds like water rushing through those pipes. Perhaps we're beneath a lake,' I suggested.

We had just battled our way through an entire hive of Falmer, and something in me told me that we were nearly there. Some tiny whisper inside my mind, guiding me towards the vengeance I had waited for, for so, so long.

The corridor we were walking through sloped downwards sharply, revealing a tall door at the end. J'shana's ears flicked. 'We must be nearly at the heart of the ruins now.'

'And the statue's at the heart of the ruins,' Brynjolf said, with a mixture of anxiety and anticipation.

'Then he's close,' I muttered, subconsciously starting to walk faster. 'I'm certain of it. We must prepare ourselves.'

J'shana ran on ahead and pressed her ear to the door. She frowned in concentration.

'Anything ahead, lass?' Brynjolf's hands tightened around the hilts of his daggers.

She breathed in, deep and long. 'I… I'm not sure. But I think I can smell him.' She swallowed. 'I'm not sure. It's hard to tell. But I think it's him.'

I pulled out my bow, as did J'shana. Meeko let out a soft growl. Brynjolf nodded determinedly.

'Then this is it,' he announced, his voice ringing through the quiet of the cavern. 'We do this for Gallus, and for the Guild.'

J'shana reached out for the handle of the door. This time, she did not hesitate before pushing it open.

I closed my eyes. It was time at last. I could feel it. Finally, the time had come for me to face my foe, to make him face justice.

Vengeance was coming upon Mercer Frey. Vengeance for what he had done to me. Vengeance for what he had done to my Guild. Vengeance for what he had done to the Nightingales, and to Nocturnal. And most of all, vengeance for the man I had loved more than the entire world, more than the Guild that was my family; more even than life itself.

I would have my vengeance. Or I would die in the attempt.

* * *

**Cliffhanger time! Sorry, people!**

**Sorry for omitting a large part of the quest, but seriously, once you've been writing about cave after cave after cave for hours, it gets dead boring. So I kind of gave up after a while.**

**If anyone was wondering, Alkosh and S'rendarr are the Khajiit names for Akatosh and Stendarr.**

**What happened to Karliah, Bryn and J'shana in Irknghtand was pretty much what happened to me. Karliah was a great help. She took out about ten Falmer with shots I could never have done, saved me from being pounded to bits by that stupid Centurion, and basically was her usual awesome self. Bryn, on the other hand… well, much as I love the guy, there's no denying that he was a complete and utter nuisance. He stepped in all the bear traps, he kept alerting the Falmer that we were there, and he kept on saying things like, 'And that's why I'm the best!' after I spent ages bringing down enemies with absolutely zero help from him. Ah, well, I still loved this quest, so I hope I did a good job describing it here.**

**I was able to get this chapter up sooner than expected, and with luck, the next one will be up quickly. Thanks for reading!**


	38. Vengeance

CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN

The scene before me came to me in pieces, one by one by one.

The sounds were the first. The soft, almost silent swish of the door swinging open. The quiet, eager breathing of myself and my companions. The gentle whisper of water, rushing through the pipes above our heads. A steady, metallic clinking sound, like someone hitting two pieces of flint together to start a fire.

Then came the scents. Blood was the first. Fresh, new blood, thick and menacing in the air. The second was a musky, mossy smell, perhaps that of the giant fungi that covered the walls. Then there was the scent of dust, dry dust and wet dust and new dust and old dust. Dust that had lain in this chamber for years upon centuries upon millennia, dust that had lain unchanged and undisturbed since the days when the Snow Elves still walked Tamriel.

And finally, as my ears and my nose managed to make sense of what they were detecting, I managed to finally decipher the sight that lay before my eyes.

It was like nothing I had ever seen before. I had to look at it several times before I truly understood what it was that I was seeing. I swallowed, sweeping my eyes up and down the incredible scene before me. I had heard the stories; I had listened to the rumours, but the reality…

The reality was beyond imagination.

I was looking at a statue. An enormous statue, so vast that I had to crane my neck backwards in order to see the top. It was at least twenty times the height of a man, made from stone with a bronze-coloured tint. A statue of an elf- an elf very much like me, and yet so different in so many ways. Its face was strong, proud, commanding, looking out over us as if daring us to defy his will. In one hand, it gripped a torch that was somehow burning with light, and in the other, it clasped a book- a book so big that a house could have been built on its surface. I knew what I was looking at. I was looking at the great Irkngthand statue. I was looking at the last remaining representation of a Snow Elf. This was what the Falmer, the vile, hated creatures that had nearly killed us all, had once been.

I looked at that face, so noble, so stern, so majestic. I thought of the sightless, twisted creatures filled with loathing and bitterness that had sought to kill us on our way to this chamber, and something within me wept for all the splendour and knowledge that had been lost.

I looked at J'shana and Brynjolf, standing on my right, and from their wide eyes and awe-filled faced I knew that they felt the same as me.

'By the twin moons…' J'shana murmured, a world of amazement in her voice.

Brynjolf shook his head. 'By the Gods, what a sight!'

His words stirred something within me. _Sight_, I thought, and looked up at the statue's face again.

And I saw that just as the Falmer had been turned blind, so had their statue.

One of the eye sockets was empty, leaving only a gaping hole. The proud gaze, one that must once have shone like a thousand suns, was dim and black. And the other eye…

My fingers tightened around my bow.

It was impossible to see the other eye, though it was still in place. It was blocked from view. Blocked from view by the man who was holding onto it, tugging at it, slowly but surely wrenching it from its socket.

Mercer.

We had found him.

I suddenly realised that I could put an end to this now, send an arrow flying into his back. I could wipe out his life in an instant. I could take vengeance before he even knew I was there.

But that was what he would have done to me.

And I was not Mercer Frey.

I was Karliah. Daughter of Dralsi and Elrandor. Guild member and Agent of Nocturnal. Gallus's little Nightingale.

And I would prove that to Mercer now.

I saw the eyes of my friends narrow as they managed to pull themselves out of their reverie, and saw him too. J'shana's tail started to whip back and forth, and Brynjolf's daggers glinted in the reflection of the torchlight.

'He's here,' I hissed, hoping that he would not be able to hear me over the sound of his struggle to wrench the Eye from the statue, 'and he hasn't seen us yet. Brynjolf, watch the door.'

The Nord dropped into a fighting stance, nodding determinedly. 'Aye, lass. Nothing's getting by me.'

I turned to J'shana. 'Climb down that ledge, and see if you can-'

A voice broke across me, echoing around the cavern louder than the howl of a wolf. A sarcastic, sneering voice, filled with scorn and contempt. 'Karliah, _when _will you learn you can't get the drop on me?'

He gave the gemstone a final tug, and it slipped from its socket. For a moment, I caught the tiniest glimpse of a flash of bright white stone- then Mercer was tucking it away out of sight, and turning to face us, smiling the smile of a wolf about to leap on its prey.

He held up his hand, and it glowed as brightly as a star. A reddish mist surrounded him for a moment, and with a sound like a crash of thunder, a shockwave burst out from him, rending the air of the whole cave and making us all stagger back.

The cavern started to shake, trembling as if it was being pushed back and forth by an unseen hand. Rubble began to fall from the ceiling. The pipes above our heads shook and splintered. Water began to pour through them, into the cavern, with a thunderous roar. For a moment, I thought that Mercer's spell was bringing down the entire cave, crushing us all. Just as I thought that this was surely the end, that the roof was to collapse any moment, killing each and every one of us, the shaking stopped without warning. But the ledge on which we were standing was split- and it was coming apart.

I grasped at the wall in a desperate attempt to steady myself. Brynjolf reeled back, only just managing to keep his footing. I grabbed hold of him and as the ledge shook, splintered and collapsed, we remained standing on what was left of it, shaky, but safe. But J'shana uttered a desperate cry, teetered on the brink for a moment- and fell.

Brynjolf and I yelled her name together, and Meeko let out a terrified howl.

The young Khajiit fell along with the remains of the ledge, down to the rocks below. But before she hit the ground, she made an agile twist in mid-air. A cloud of dust rose up as the stones hit the ground, but as it faded, I saw my fellow Nightingale land lightly on her feet, unharmed. Her feline agility had saved her.

She was alive, and we were alive. But we were trapped. There was no way of reaching her.

And I had no way of reaching Mercer.

J'shana looked up at us and met my eyes. There was fear in them, but also rage, and I knew that the battle-blood was already rising within her. She gazed at me for a moment, then she drew her bow and took a step forwards, her fur bristling so much that she seemed to be twice her normal size.

'Mercer!' she roared.

The Breton smirked and leaped down from the statue's head, down the staircase that was built around it and along its arm. He marched forwards onto the huge stone book, gazing down at J'shana with cold grey eyes.

'Well, what have we got here?' he jeered, looking from J'shana, to me, to Brynjolf, and back to J'shana again. 'Is this Nightingale armour I see before me?'

None of us replied. J'shana let out a long, low hiss, and the air thrummed with the deadly threat of the sound.

Mercer laughed. 'You idiots took the Oath to that Daedric fool? Were you really that desperate, Karliah?'

'Not desperate, Mercer,' J'shana snarled. 'Angry.'

He looked back at her, a cruel smile playing over his lips. 'When Brynjolf brought you before me, I could feel a sudden shift in the wind,' he told her, his voice dripping with scorn. 'And at that moment, I knew it would end with one of us at the end of a blade.'

J'shana bared her sharp white teeth. 'Give me the Key, Mercer.' Her voice burned through the air like fire, and I could feel that strange, unworldly power emanating from her in waves, stronger than ever before.

Gallus's murderer threw back his head and laughed. 'The Key? What have you been filling her head with, Karliah? Tales of thieves with honour? Oaths rife with falsehoods and broken promises?' He swept his derisive gaze over all three of us. 'When will you open your eyes and see the truth? Nocturnal doesn't care about you, the Key, or anything having to do with the Guild!'

J'shana met his stare fearlessly. 'You're wrong, Mercer,' she said, very calmly. 'Nocturnal guides me. Nocturnal guides us all.'

I gasped. For a moment, the scene around me flickered and changed. Changed to another underground ruin, another innocent, another Nightingale, standing calmly in the face of Mercer's rage. Those words were the same words that Gallus had said as he, too, looked death in the face, twenty five years ago.

Mercer snorted with scorn. 'Then it appears the shadows shroud more than your presence. They blind your wisdom as well.' He spat onto the stone. 'Our actions have always been one and the same- all of us lie, cheat and steal to further our own end.'

'There's a difference, Mercer.' There was a faraway look in J'shana's amber eyes, and I knew that her world had shrunk to contain just her and her foe. Brynjolf and I could have been worlds away. 'The difference is that we still have honour.'

'It's clear that you'll never see the Skeleton Key as I do- as an instrument of limitless wealth!' Mercer's fists were clenched, and there was a look of insanity dancing in his eyes. 'Instead, you've chosen to fall over your own foolish code!'

J'shana reached into her quiver, selected an arrow, and fitted it to her bow. 'If anyone falls,' she snarled, 'it will be you.'

Mercer laughed again, a manic, mad sound that reverberated around the entire chamber. 'Then the die is cast, and once again my blade will taste Nightingale blood!'

He looked up at me, and I saw cold hatred in his gaze. 'Karliah, I'll deal with you once I've rid myself of your irksome companions. I'll be killing them quickly. You won't have that privilege.' He smiled, a smile I can only describe as pure evil. 'In the meantime, perhaps you and Brynjolf should get better acquainted.'

He drew back his hand, and I saw an orb of red light glowing there. I gasped as I recognised it, and I reached for an arrow- but too late. Mercer fired the spell, and it cut through the air like a glowing red streak of lightning, sailing across the chamber and striking Brynjolf directly in the chest.

My former pupil staggered back instantly with a gasp of pain. For a second, he stood stock still. Then he tightened his grip on his blades and lunged directly at me.

I threw myself to the side, barely able to avoid his strike on the narrow confines of the ledge. He pulled back, his eyes wide with horror. 'What's… what's happening? I can't stop myself…' He stabbed at me again, and I threw aside my bow, grabbing my dagger and parrying his strike just in time. I knew this spell. Elandine had used it on occasion when we needed to cause a distraction, creating chaos as she turned the guards against each other. But she had never used it like this. Not in such a terrible, powerful way. Mercer had never been a mage, but every Breton possessed some magical talent, and now his had been unlocked by the power of the Key. There was no standing against it. Brynjolf could not break free, and how could I raise my blade against my friend?

'Damn you, Mercer!' I roared, and I had never meant it more in my entire life. I took a step backwards, trying to give myself more room to manoeuvre. 'Fight it, Brynjolf- he's taken control of you!'

'I'm sorry, lass.' He was trying, I could see it in his eyes, but Mercer held the Key, and its power could not be withstood. 'I- I can't…'

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Meeko take a flying leap from the platform and land in the steadily-growing pool of water that was forming on the floor of the chamber. He bounded over to J'shana's side. The young Khajiit was staring at us, with wide, horrified eyes, while Mercer looked on, cruel delight on his face.

And in that moment I knew that I would never avenge Gallus. Mercer had been one step ahead of us, yet again. He had trapped me here, and made certain that I could not fight him. And now J'shana and Meeko would have to face him. Alone. And I could not help them.

My heart felt as if it would snap in two. But my desire to end Mercer's life was nothing compared to the need to see the Key returned and the Guild saved. If I could not kill him myself, then so be it. But he had to die. No matter how or at whose hand, he had to die.

'J'shana!' I shouted. 'Stop him!'

She stared at us for a moment longer, then her eyes narrowed, and a look of grim determination crept over her face. She whirled around to face Mercer, still leering at her from where he stood above her.

'Still so eager to fight me, cat?' He drew his sword.

She raised her bow, aiming her arrow straight at him. 'Yes. Because I fight for my family, my honour, and my friends. I fight for what is right.'

Meeko growled and bared her teeth, and J'shana took a step towards her foe. 'Come, coward! Let us fight, and let the Gods decide upon who falls!'

Mercer smiled viciously at her. 'You've just written your own epitaph,' he jeered.

J'shana shook her head. 'You fool,' she snarled. 'You have no idea who you're facing.'

She released her arrow, but Mercer brought up his sword to block it. 'I'm facing an insolent whelp whose blood is about to adorn my blade!'

He laughed again- and vanished.

I didn't know how he did it- perhaps some sort of invisibility spell, or perhaps he still retained the power of the Agent of Stealth- but suddenly he blinked out of sight, as if he had never been there.

As I stared in amazement, I felt a sudden, sharp pain in my side and realised that I had allowed myself to lose concentration. Brynjolf was still coming at me, his attacks growing more and more difficult to dodge. I gritted my teeth, trying to block out the pain, and let the world fall away around me as it always did in battle, until it contained just me, my weapon, and my foe. Except Brynjolf was not my foe, and never would be my foe, and I could not fight back. Not properly. There could be only one end to the fight.

And it came a moment later. I suddenly found myself unable to back away any further. I had been forced up against the wall. And now I was trapped. I could see the horror in Brynjolf's eyes as he struck out, but he could not throw off the spell that held him. His fist caught me in the side of the head, sending me sprawling onto the ground. Stars exploded inside my mind. My dagger slipped form my grasp and clattered away over the stone. I reached out for it, but Brynjolf's foot came down on my hand, crushing it into the stone. I screamed out loud before I could stop myself, pain blinding me for a second. Then I felt cold metal slice through the base of my hood and touch my throat, and knew that it was over.

I closed my eyes, just as I had as the Centurion had raised its foot to crush me, and waited helplessly for the end.

It didn't come.

I summoned up the courage to open my eyes slightly. The tip of Brynjolf's dagger was pressed against my neck, but he wasn't driving it into me. He was pinning my to the ground, preventing me from moving an inch- but he wasn't killing me.

Mercer wasn't killing me.

I nearly wept then. Because I knew what his plan was. He would kill Meeko and Brynjolf and J'shana, kill them quickly and efficiently, to get them out of the way. And then I would be at his mercy. He could torture me for as long as he liked, and as painfully as he liked. He could take revenge for all the pain I had caused him. He could, and would, make sure I suffered a lingering death.

We would die, all of us. Me, and all of my friends, here in the darkness of this evil ruin. Our bodies would lie here among those of the Falmer, and no one would ever find them. Our Guild would die. Nocturnal's power would be gone. The Key would forever be lost. Mercer would have won.

Unless J'shana stopped him.

I turned my head towards the chamber- and what I saw was a battle that I shall never, never forget.

J'shana was standing on the statue's left shoulder, her bow in her hands. Mercer was nowhere to be seen. Yet as I watched, J'shana's lips moved, whispering words too quiet for me to here. The air around her seemed to warp slightly, just for a single second. The Khajiit's eyes snapped from side to side, and suddenly she let out a shout of triumph and fired. To me, it seemed that her arrow had hit the middle of the air, but a roar of pain came from nowhere, and I knew that somehow, she had hit her enemy.

But how in the name of Oblivion had she known where he was?

I saw a greyish blur racing across the stone book, and suddenly Meeko was leaping at the patch of air that J'shana's arrow had hit. Mercer appeared without warning, pinned to the ground, Meeko's teeth clamped on his arm. The Breton struggled to break free. Suddenly, his free hand held a dagger, and though I could not see him strike, there was no way I could have missed the agonised howl that tore through the air. Meeko drew back, his fur stained bright crimson with his own blood. Mercer got to his feet and raised his blade high, ready to finish him off.

And then J'shana was there. She leaped from the statue's shoulder and cannoned into Mercer, slamming him into the ground. They rolled over, a screeching tangle of blades and fur and curses, and then suddenly they were on their feet again, and Mercer was striking out, his sword swinging towards J'shana, ready to slice her in half. The Khajiit held up her bow to block the strike, and Mercer's sword sunk into the wood. J'shana tore her weapon free and leaped back out of range, staring in horror. Mercer's blade had almost sliced right through it. It would never fire another arrow again.

J'shana's shock lasted no more than an instant. With a wordless, screeching cry of pure rage, she flung the broken weapon aside and drew her sword. There, on the stone platform, she and Mercer began to circle each other, their eyes locked together, amber burning into grey, their swords gleaming in their hands.

'You fight well for a milk-drinking kit,' Mercer taunted, twirling his sword around in a circle.

J'shana didn't even blink. 'And you fight well for a murdering, traitorous piece of smooth-skin filth.'

Mercer's eyes narrowed. 'Looks like you've got more fire in you than I realised. Maybe this kitten's actually a sabre cat.'

'Oh, she's far more than that,' J'shana hissed. 'I do not fear you, Mercer Frey. I know that this is a battle I can win. I know that it is a battle I will win, if the Gods choose for that to be so.'

'You think they care? You think they'll stop me from spitting on your corpse?'

'I know they will.'

Mercer cackled. 'I've slain a Nightingale before. One more will be easy.'

'You slew an innocent man who was once your friend. You slew a man who was not ready for you. You slew Gallus in the way of the coward.' J'shana stopped circling him, and crouched down in readiness. 'Now is the chance for you to prove your worth. If you have any honour at all, then face me! Face me not a as a coward, but as a warrior, and maybe the Divines will show you some pity!'

'Honour?' Mercer's eyes glinted. 'Honour is nothing but another name for weakness.'

'No, Mercer.' J'shana's teeth were bared, shining white and deadly. 'Honour is the knowledge of right and wrong. Honour is defending any who need defending. Honour is fighting for anything that needs fighting for. Honour is taking up your weapons to fight, not for yourself and your own greed, but for what is right, and for what you love!'

Mercer froze, staring at her. 'I already lost what I loved,' he snarled. 'I don't have anything left to fight for except myself.'

J'shana blinked. 'Then I pity you,' she said, very, very quietly.

'Hah!' Mercer snorted scornfully. 'You pity me? That's a good one. The honourable warrior pities the traitorous fiend.'

'Yes,' J'shana replied simply. 'Because I cannot help but pity anyone who no longer knows the meaning of love.'

Mercer raised his sword. 'Is that so? Then if you pity me that much, come and put me out of my misery, if you can!' He smiled that wolf-like smile. 'And we'll see if Nocturnal and your precious Gods help you!'

'Maybe they will. Maybe they won't,' J'shana told him, fire dancing in her eyes. 'But one of us will live. One of us will die. This is life, or it is death- and I am ready to face whichever comes to me.'

They stared at each other for a moment more, then they both struck together. Two swords clashed together with an ear-splitting clang, silver against gold.

I watched, unable to help, unable to move, and unable to look away, as the blades of the Khajiit and the Breton met each other again and again. With movements almost too fast for the eye to follow, they ducked, weaved, slashed and parried, shone like stars in the light and vanished into darkness. Mercer fought like a wolf, lashing out, drawing back, driving forwards again, snarling, raging, roaring. J'shana fought like a tongue of flame, impossible to hit, impossible to be caught, burning into her foe, unstoppable and deadly.

Neither would back away, but neither could gain the upper hand. Mercer was fighting with all his strength, pouring out all his anger into the battle. J'shana seemed to radiate power and dominance, striking again and again like a flash of ash-coloured sunlight. As the fight moved, up the stairs, onto the statue's head, it was impossible to say which was driving back the other. It appeared that neither was winning and neither was losing. Time seemed to lose meaning, and I felt that I could have been watching them fight forever. It could have been only a few minutes, and yet it was as if a thousand years had passed since my friend and fellow Nightingale had leaped into battle with my enemy.

They did not speak or shout or roar their battle cries. They did not mock each other or shout out their fury. I knew that for them, the rest of the world was gone. The battle was all that existed, all that ever had existed, all that ever would exist.

But every fight must end.

Mercer lunged, a desperate swipe, filled with rage and hatred. J'shana raised her blade to block it. She parried his blow, but the force of his strike knocked her off balance. It was only for a second, a fraction of a second, but it was a single instant too long. That tiny moment was all it took for Mercer to kick, to strike her full in the chest, to knock her to the ground, to swipe her sword out her reach, to press the end of his blade against her throat.

And all my hopes were suddenly gone, wiped out like a candle flung into a pool of icy water, like the one still growing on the chamber floor. J'shana was a true warrior, a fierce fighter, but Mercer was stronger, and now he had won. She would die, my fearless, selfless friend would die, and then Meeko would die, and Brynjolf would die, and I would die. The Key would be lost forever, Gallus would never be avenged, and the Nightingales would be gone. The Thieves Guild would be destroyed. All was lost. All hope was gone. Everything was at an end.

Mercer and J'shana looked at each other as if seeing each other truly for the first time since their fight began. As if each had only just realised that the other was there. As if suddenly they had been thrust back into reality.

'I do so hate to be cliché,' Mercer sneered, victory and triumph shining in his eyes. 'But any last words?'

And to my utter amazement, J'shana smiled. It was a calm smile, but there was a tone of relief to it, as if she had made a choice, a choice that it had been paining her to make. It was a secretive smile, as if there was something that she knew that her foe did not know. It was a smile that suddenly made me feel that all was not lost, that there might still be hope, after all.

'Last words?' she asked, with a small chuckle. 'Yes. I have three.'

And suddenly the air of power around her grew so strong that it filled the entire chamber. My skin prickled, and my breath caught in my throat. I did not know what was about to happen, but something in my knew that I had never seen anything like what I was about to see before, and that I would never see anything like it again-

J'shana breathed in deeply, sucking in air, filling her lungs. Her fur stood on end, her talons dug into the stone, and her eyes shone, as she opened her mouth wide-

And roared in a voice like thunder-

Roared three words, thee words in a language I did not know-

Three words that made the whole cavern shake-

Three words that seemed to shatter the air before them-

'_Fus RO DAH!'_

And in that moment I knew that we had won. Because there was still hope. Because J'shana was not who she seemed. Because those ancient legends, the ones I had loved so much, the ones Thjon had told us as we sat around the heart, the ones that no one had ever believed could be real-

They were every one of them true.

A blueish shockwave burst from J'shana's body, ripping through the air along with her words. It tore into Mercer, ripping him from his feet, hurling him into the air, throwing him from the statue's head, and sending him falling, down, down, down, onto the rocks below.

I do not know whether Nocturnal and the Divines were truly watching over that battle, as J'shana so faithfully believed they were. But I do know that Mercer could easily have been unhurt by that fall. He could have fallen into the pool, into the water, could have recovered to fight again.

But he did not. Whether by the will of the Gods, or whether by some supreme luck, he did not. He fell, and he landed with a sickening crack on the vast stone book.

And he did not move.

J'shana got to her feet and picked up her sword. Meeko, lying limply at the edge of the book, lifted his head and let out a soft bark. Brynjolf cried out and staggered back, as if he, too, had been knocked away by the force of J'shana's roar. He grabbed hold of the wall with a gasp, and I knew that he was himself again.

Somehow, my numb hands found a healing potion. Somehow, I managed to tip it down my throat. Somehow, I found myself able to pull myself up, to take my weapons from the ground, to leap down from the ledge into the pool, to swim over to the stairs and make my way up them. Brynjolf followed me, and soon we all stood there together, gazing at our fallen foe.

J'shana was holding her sword over him, gazing calmly down at him as he glared back in rage. He was not dead, but there was blood painted all over the stones around him, and I knew that soon he would be gone.

'Well? What are you waiting for?' His face twisted scornfully, but his voice was taut with pain. 'Kill me now, cat, unless you're afraid to take a life.'

J'shana shook her head. She sheathed her sword and stepped backwards, a strange sorrow in her eyes.

'No,' she said softly. 'This is not for me to do.'

She turned to me, and held out a hand, gesturing to the man who had destroyed everything I had ever loved. 'Karliah,' she murmured. 'Finish it.'

I nocked an arrow to my bow and pulled back the string. The action felt vaguely unreal, as if it were someone else who were doing it. I looked into Mercer's eyes, into those two dark pits of hatred and rage and pain-

And fear.

Fear. I could see it. In those two chips of grey ice, there was fear. Along with all that fury and agony and loathing, there was fear.

Fear of my anger? Fear of J'shana's terrifying power? Fear of death? Fear of what awaited him?

I did not know. I cannot know. I never will know.

All I knew was that it was time. After all the running and hiding, the lies and the betrayal, the tears and the blood, it was time. Far, far away, Gallus's spirit was lost and alone, and right here, right now, I had the chance to bring him peace at last.

And I also knew that I did not want to kill Mercer as he laughed in defiance, as he glared in hatred. I wanted to kill him as he realised what he had done.

And alongside that fear, I suddenly saw it-

Only for an instant-

So tiny it was barely there-

But there was sorrow. There was sadness in those cruel eyes.

And I knew that at last, he understood.

He saw what he had done.

He saw what he had become.

And I knew in that tiny flicker of sorrow that he hated it-

That he was glad to be free of it-

That it welcomed the chance to leave it behind-

And as I looked into the eyes of the man I was just about to kill, I saw his plea. Not a plea for forgiveness or mercy, because he knew that there could be none.

A plea to be set free.

And so I answered that plea. I released my arrow, sent it flying into his throat.

I set him free.

I watched as he stiffened, as his fingers reached up to the shaft that had pierced his neck, seeking out his life. He blinked, gasped, shuddered, and suddenly went limp. Just as Gallus had, twenty five years before.

And three more words hung in the air, choked out with anger and pain and hatred and fear and desperation and sorrow.

'Shadows take me…'

And Mercer Frey, the man who had torn my life apart, slumped onto the cold, hard stone, his life wiped from his body.

And in the space of a single second, in as much time as it took me to blink, he was gone.

One moment, there was life, there was soul, there was greed, there was ambition, there was cruelty. One moment, there was rage and anger and loathing and guilt and grief and terror. One moment, there was Mercer Frey.

And the next...

There was not.

* * *

**Well. I'm not sure exactly what to say. I just wrote my heart out there. I hope I did well, because I tried so hard to get this right. Thanks for reading, everyone. Next chapter will be up soon.**


	39. Over

CHAPTER THIRTY EIGHT

Every thief treasures silence, and the Nightingale treasures it still more.

Silence has always been my friend, just as much as the shadows have been. Silence allows me to hear those sounds that every thief listens for above all others- the click of a pick nudging a lock into place, the sound of breathing or footsteps that heralds the approach of a foe, the song of a pine thrush that signals that danger is past, that no one is near.

And often, silence means night-time, and night-time means darkness, and darkness means shadows, and shadows mean safety.

But this… this was a new kind of silence. It was the silence of a final breath fading away into nothingness. It was the silence of a life slipping away into the hands of the Divines. It was the silence of a mortal, a mortal who only moments ago had been gazing into my eyes, falling away from this world forever. It was the silence of death.

The death of Mercer Frey. The death of the man who I had thought that I had hated more than anything or anyone else in the world. The man who I had thought I had hated enough to rip apart all Nirn simply to get my hands on him. The man who I had thought I had hated enough to kill him as slowly and as painfully as it was within my power to do.

But as I stared at that body, at the Guild armour that was torn and streaked with blood, the fists clenched with a pain he could no longer feel, those grey eyes that had once gleamed with ambition glazed over, staring at us, his killers, without seeing us, I could feel no hatred. I knew that somewhere, perhaps in some deep, shadowy pit of the Void, his soul still lived. But it would never set foot on Nirn again.

Mercer was dead. We had killed him, all of us together. I had struck the final blow, set his spirit free with that arrow, but J'shana had sent him flying from the ledge, and Brynjolf had made it possible for us to kill him by believing us when we came to him with our story, and even Meeko had fought as fiercely as a bear. Each and every one of us had killed him. I finally had the vengeance I had waited for and wished for and dreamed for and hoped for and prayed for and sought for, for so long.

And yet…

And yet even when I thought of Gallus, falling to the ground in that ancient tomb-

Even when I thought of Mercer driving his sword into J'shana's chest, J'shana, who had trusted him and had done him no wrong-

Even when I thought of Elandine and Thjon and Ahsla and Dar'zha and Ma'rhaz and Elruen, my friends, my sisters and brothers, _Mercer's _sisters and brothers and friends, who he had condemned to death by taking the Key-

Even when I thought of those years of exile, the years when I had forgotten who I was-

Even when I thought of Nocturnal's cold indifference as she cast me aside and broke me apart forever-

Even when I thought of all those times I had waited for this, and dreamed about this, and longed for this, and _burned _for this, burned with my hatred for him and my desire, my n_eed _to see him lie dead at my feet, slain by my hand-

Even after everything-

- I could not feel triumph.

I could not, and I knew I never would. All I felt was grief.

Grief for all that had been lost. For Mercer as much as for me.

He could have been so much more than this. He could have become a warrior whose name was whispered in stories in the Flagon, someone whose name was spoken with reverence by generations of Guild members. He could have gone to Evergloam on his death, and he and Gallus and I would have become one with the shadows together, and in doing so, we would have become one with each other.

But that had not been. Because I did not see, and Gallus did not see, and I think that even he himself did not realise what Mercer was becoming until it was too late.

I closed my eyes and thought of what had been. What had been lost and destroyed.

_Mercer, in the Flagon, on the day I joined the Guild. He sits with Gallus and Thjon, and they sing _Ragnar the Red_ together, laughter in their eyes and contentment in their faces. And I know that they are my brothers, my family. I have come home._

_Mercer, by my side as we creep through the shadows. I toss him a lockpick. He nods at me and turns to the door, teasing it open in a matter of seconds. We sneak forwards, and together we pass unnoticed through the house, slipping anything valuable into our pockets as we go._

_Mercer, on the far left of the chamber as I swear my Oath. His eyes burn into me. He swears to defend me with all his strength, with his honour, with his blood… with his life._

_Mercer, his face covered in fury as he raises his blade and runs forwards, tearing into our foes. My bow sings its deadly song, and Gallus's sword shines in the pale torchlight. The mercenaries turn, running, screaming, desperate to escape our fury, but we fight as one, standing together, the three Nightingales of Nocturnal defending our mistress's treasure against all and any who would seek to take it for themselves._

_Mercer, on all those days we talked and laughed and sang and worked together. A brother in arms. A warrior. A friend._

_Mercer, in the darkness of the tomb, his golden blade catching the light as he strikes, and rips my life apart._

_Mercer, lost forever. Lost to Nocturnal, to me and Gallus… to himself._

He had once been my friend. My friend, until he knew that I would only ever love Gallus, that I would never be his. My friend, until that knowledge stopped him from caring. My friend, until his loyalty was lost and his heart was turned cold. My friend, until jealously and ambition set his feet on the path of evil. A path from which he had never returned.

Not until the last second. Not until I had pointed my arrow at his throat had he turned back, had he felt any remorse. But by then, it was far too late.

And so he had come to this.

We had all come to this.

Everything had come to this.

All of the lies, all of the deceit. All the hatred and cruelty and suffering. All the greed and the envy. All of the hope and despair.

It had come to this silence.

We stood there together, none of us moving, none of us speaking, staring down at the limp, bloodstained body, as if the rest of the world had vanished. As if we had been transported to some far away land, some different dimension, and we had left Nirn behind.

We stood in silence.

And then that silence was shattered by a thundering roar of water and a crash of falling rubble and the whole cavern shook and I gasped as we were jolted back into reality-

The reality that we were not out of danger yet.

Because the pipes were still gushing water, water that was steadily filling up the chamber, bit by bit, inching up the walls slowly but surely. If we had been standing on the floor, it would have already been almost knee-deep.

The cave shook again and I wrenched from all my thoughts of sorrow as fear gripped me. 'Damn, this place is coming down!' I struggled to keep my footing, but still went stumbling backwards, almost falling over the edge of the book. I looked at J'shana, who was still standing by Mercer's body. 'Quick- get the Skeleton Key and the Eyes, and let's get out of here!'

I would have got them myself. But I could not touch the Skeleton Key. I never wanted to. Not after what it had done to Mercer. Not after what it had done to Gallus.

J'shana nodded and bent down, rummaging desperately in the dead man's pockets. 'Here,' she gasped, yanking out the Eyes. They flashed like stars in the light reflected by the water. 'And the Key…' She reached down and yanked at something strung around Mercer's neck. The string snapped, and J'shana held it up. Small, bronze-coloured, a greenish stone set at the top. The reason we were here. The reason Gallus and Mercer were both dead. Nocturnal's sacred treasure, the treasure I failed to protect. The Skeleton Key.

It was so small, so insignificant-looking. And yet that tiny object held the fates of us all, and the power of the Divines, within it.

'No luck there, lass.' I turned around to see that Brynjolf had managed to scale a pile of newly-fallen rubble and climb back onto the ledge, and was straining at the door with all his strength. 'Something must have fallen on the other side of the door, because it isn't moving!'

Dread stole through me, and I fought to keep it down. 'We have to find another way out of here before the place fills with water!'

'Easier said than done,' J'shana said breathlessly. 'That was the only way in. Or out.' She looked up at the water pipes. They was still spewing water from the holes Mercer had torn in them, and worse still, the largest of them all was trembling, splitting, coming away from the ceiling. If it were to fall, then the water would pour through relentlessly. We would have no time to find another way out.

J'shana followed my gaze, and I could see that she was thinking the same as me. 'If that thing gives way, we're doomed!'

'It's giving way!'

'We're doomed.'

The pipe gave way.

Water burst from the hole in an unstoppable torrent, drenching us all instantly. The cavern shook yet another time, and Mercer's body slipped from the ledge on which we stood and fell with a splash into the water below. Water which was already chest- deep, because Brynjolf was having to wade through it to reach us again.

I felt myself shaking. Surely, we couldn't have come this far, been through so much, only to die now? Surely Nocturnal wouldn't let us? Surely the Divines wouldn't be so cruel?

All thoughts of pity or grief were forgotten as we began to desperately search the chamber, looking for any door or tunnel or passage through which we might escape. The water had reached the stone book. Now it was rising still further, moving up as fast as a walking man, up to the statue's chest, its arms, its shoulders, its neck.

We all huddled together on the collar of the Snow Elf's robes, its head behind us, still gazing calmly out into the room. Meeko whined as the water came up towards us, and I saw J'shana shaking. 'Did I mention that I hate water?' she said shakily, trying to grin, but letting her terror show through.

'Once or twice, lass,' Brynjolf replied, with a chuckle that did not hide his own fear.

J'shana backed away from the edge until her back was pressed up against the statue's chin. 'Now I wish I was an Argonian.'

'I think we all do,' I said quietly.

I looked at the still-rising pool, and something within me resigned myself to my fate. To my death. It was not how I had imagined it, but I had always known it would come.

My fear was not for myself. I would die a Nightingale. I would go to the Sepulchre. I would go to join Gallus.

But the Key would lie here in the darkness. It would sink to the bottom of our watery grave. And it would never be returned. And our Guild, our family, would die.

'Brynjolf. J'shana.' I swallowed hard as I said the words. 'It's been an honour to fight beside you. Thank you for everything you've done.'

'Thank you, lass,' Brynjolf replied, and I knew that it was a thank you not just for revealing Mercer's treachery, but for giving him the chance to join the Guild, for training him and teaching him, for being his friend.

'The honour was mine, Karliah,' J'shana said softly, and a tear fell from those fire-coloured eyes into the cruel, cold water.

The water crept over the edge of the neck and started inching towards us. J'shana reached up to her neck, her hand closing around an amulet hidden in the folds of her cloak. Meeko huddled against her, his fur on end.

The water reached us and started creeping up us slowly. It was cold. Cold as ice, cold as death.

And suddenly we found that we had to swim.

I looked up. The water did not have to rise much further now. We had perhaps a few more minutes to live before we all drowned. Me and J'shana and Brynjolf and even Meeko. We all would die, here in this evil cave.

And then J'shana gasped. Her eyes widened, and I saw a flash of hope in them. And I felt a flash of hope within myself.

'Get behind me!' she yelled, and I hastened to obey, because whatever plan she had was the only plan we had and I was sure as Oblivion going along with it-

Her fur bushed up as she faced the ceiling, and I saw what she had seen. A patch of stone that was actually many stones, rocks bunched up loosely together, rocks that might just hide a tunnel, or a passage, or a way out-

Rocks that no mortal could ever hope to move-

But I knew that J'shana was no ordinary mortal.

Her voice tore through the sound of the thundering falling water, clear and fearless and filled with fiery rage.

'_Fus RO DAH!'_

For a second time, the blue shockwave ripped out from her. I was nearer this time than before, and even though I was behind her I felt the terrible power of the words she had shouted. The rocks shivered, trembled, split-

And fell-

And fell with a chorus of splashes into the water-

And I looked past them and saw-

Saw the most beautiful sight I had ever seen in my life-

I saw a tunnel.

Brynjolf let out a jubilant roar and kicked out for the gap. J'shana's face broke into the biggest of grins. And my heart rose up inside me, as if carried on the wings of a bird-

_The wings of a bird._

The thought hit me like a blow from a sword.

I had almost forgoteen.

I spun around in the water. Mercer's body was a little way behind me. I glanced up at the ceiling. There might still be time.

'Karliah!' J'shana had pulled herself up onto the edge of the passage that was our salvation, and was reaching up to pull Brynjolf up as well. 'Hurry!'

I looked from her, to Mercer, and back. And I made my decision.

I turned away from the tunnel, and splashed and floundered my way through the water to where Mercer still floated on the surface. Ignoring the cries of my fellow Nightingales, I thrashed my way over to him and grabbed hold of the top of his tunic, pulling it down.

It had to be there. It must be there. I would be there.

It was there.

The amulet. A black bird and a white bird, their wings touching as they danced together. The amulet that I had given Gallus.

The amulet that Mercer had taken from Gallus's body.

And he hadn't sold it. He had worn it. Because it was a gift of my love, the love he had wanted and never had, and this was the closest he could come to having it for himself.

I looked at him, and I felt guilt wash over me. And I said three words I had never thought I would say in my life.

'Forgive me, Mercer.'

I could not forgive him for what he had done. But he had done it because of me. Because I had hurt him, cast him aside without even knowing that I was doing it. I had killed him, not just with my arrow, but with my heart.

'Karliah!' J'shana was screeching my name again. 'Karliah, _come on!'_

I tightened my hand around the amulet, and ripped it away from Mercer's neck. I turned and started to swim back towards them, but the water was still rising, and it had reached the roof of the cave, and there was no air for me left to breathe, and I was too late-

The water closed over my head.

From a million miles away, I heard J'shana's howl, heard Brynjolf crying my name. I fought for air, but there was none, only water, water that wanted to drag me down into its depths and never let me go.

My senses were leaving me. The world was fading away bit by bit. I was falling, falling into the fathomless darkness of Oblivion…

_I'm sorry, _I thought. _Nocturnal, Brynjolf, J'shana, Gallus, I'm sorry. I tried, I tried so hard, but… I couldn't do it._

Darkness took me.

_Nocturnal, save the others, _I prayed silently. _Let them escape. Please, look after the Guild. And… send me back to Gallus._

I let the world fall away.

And then suddenly I was being pulled up, up to the light and the air, the beautiful, blessed air, and then I was in that air and gasping for it and swallowing it down as if I wanted to breathe in all the air in the world. I felt hands grab me, and then J'shana was pulling me with strength I would never have given her credit for, into the tunnel, out of the water, and into the light.

Meeko dropped the hem of my cape and shook water from his fur, barking delightedly, and suddenly I realised who my saviour was, who had braved the water to pull me back to the surface. The dog ran over to me and pushed his nose into my chest, as if asking if I was all right. Without hesitation, I threw my arms around his neck, gasping as I realised how close I had come to death, and how fearlessly and selflessly Meeko had saved me.

'That was too close, lass,' Brynjolf said from behind me, his voice shaky with relief.

'You don't have to tell me,' I replied, releasing Meeko and coughing up water.

'We're not out of the woods yet,' J'shana reminded us, looking at the water, which was beginning to creep into the tunnel. 'Once you've finished regurgitating the lake, we should go. Quickly.'

I nodded and used the wall of pull myself to my feet. 'I'm all right. Let's get out of here.'

We turned and ran, away from the murky water, away from that chamber of death. The passage wound and twisted, and though I could not know where it would lead, I somehow knew in my heart that we were safe now, that we had escaped the jaws of death, that fortune had smiled upon us this once.

We finally emerged into a small cave, a cave filled with a soft glow that could only be moonlight. As one, we stopped and stood still, breathing hard, looking at each other in sheer disbelief that we had all survived.

I opened my fist. I had been clutching the amulet so hard that it had become painful. I held it up in front of me, and the light glimmered on the birds, making them almost look as if they were alive and about to take flight.

'Well,' Brynjolf said suddenly, 'It looks like we made it after all.'

J'shana laughed. 'We should have known. Remember what that thief's note said, about that friend of his who escaped down the tunnel?'

Yes, I remembered it. But it was J'shana, and not me, who had found that tunnel, and who had opened the way for us.

'You saved us all, J'shana,' I said quietly, looking at her intently.

She smiled slightly, shrugging. 'Maybe.'

'I can't believe it's over,' I whispered, running my fingers over the smooth stone surface of the amulet. 'Twenty-five years in exile, and just like that, it's done.'

'At least it is over,' J'shana said bitterly. 'It's lasted long enough.'

I nodded, determined not to let myself get lost in thoughts of Gallus and Mercer and Nocturnal again. 'All that remains now is to ensure the safe return of the Skeleton Key.'

'Finally, something relatively easy,' Brynjolf said, with a wry smile.

'Actually,' I said slowly.

He held a hand to his face. 'That doesn't sound promising, lass.'

'Actually, I'm afraid it's not that simple,' I told him uneasily.

'I had a feeling it wouldn't be,' J'shana sighed.

I had been thinking about this on the way through Irkngthand, and I had come to a grim conclusion. 'When the Skeleton Key was stolen from the Twilight Sepulchre, our access to the inner sanctum was removed,' I explained. 'Usually, we could get in through Nightingale Hall. But with the Key gone, and the portal closed, the only way to bring it back will be through the Pilgrim's Path.'

I swallowed, remembering what Gallus had told me, when I had asked him all those years ago. The day about a week after the death of my mother and my initiation into the Nightingales. The day he took me into the Twilight Sepulchre, to help me take on my Nightingale Agent role.

'_And if you ever feel the need to change role, you can come back here and simply step onto a different circle. Bear in mind that it's best if we maintain a balance, with each of us a different Agent.'_

'_I don't think I'll need to change it. But I can come back any time?'_

'_Once a day, if you need to.'_

'_And I can get in through the portal?'_

'_Yes. The Key keeps the portal open for us to pass through.'_

'_What if the Key was gone?'_

I remembered how his face grew grim. _'With luck, it never will be. If it was, the portal would close. Access to the sanctum would be cut off.'_

'_But if removing the Key means we can't access the Sepulchre, how could it be returned?'_

He had shifted his feet uneasily. _'With difficulty. Apart from the Nightingale Hall portal, the only way to access the Sepulchre is through the Pilgrim's Path. Its entrance is located on the western border of Falkreath Hold, quite a way away from any civilisation. It leads directly to the inner sanctum- but it is perilous. I've never been down it, and I never want to. It wasn't built for the Nightingales to use. With luck, we'll never have to use it…'_

But we had not had that luck.

'The Pilgrim's Path?' J'shana was frowning.

'A path leading through the Sepulchre, into the inner sanctum,' I told her. 'The entrance is on Falkreath's western border.'

'I take it you never used it.' The Khajiit raised her eyebrows slightly.

I shook my head. 'No, it wasn't created for the Nightingales. It was built to test those who wished to serve Nocturnal in other ways.'

'What sort of other ways?' Brynjolf's voice was wary.

'I don't know. I'd tell you more if I knew more, but I only know what Gallus told me. And even he knew little of the Path and its dangers.'

J'shana sighed. 'There's always dangers.' A look of determination crept into her eyes. 'But I'm ready to face them. We need to return the Key to Nocturnal, and I'm not letting anything stop me.'

To Nocturnal.

I shivered, and suddenly I felt myself consumed with fear. If the Key was returned, then Nocturnal would almost certainly come to us face to face. It was her way. She would come- perhaps not to congratulate us, but to make sure we knew that our task was over. And I would have to face her.

Suddenly, I realised that I couldn't. Not now. Not yet. I knew that we would have to call upon her many times in the future, but by then, I would have had time to cope with what I had been through, to come to terms with my failure and maybe my redemption. But right here, right now, I could not do it. It was almost a physical impossibility.

_Coward, _I snarled mentally.

_No, _I replied to myself. _I'm just not ready._

'We've been gone for ages.' Brynjolf's voice was tense with anxiety. 'The Guild's going to be wondering what happened to us.'

J'shana frowned again. 'One of us should be there. Keeping order.'

I almost told them that I would go back, that I would return to them and keep them in check. And then I remembered that keeping the Guild together was something I could not do. Brynjolf could do it, J'shana could do it, but I could not. They still did not trust me. And I did not know them well enough to trust them.

Brynjolf looked awkward. 'If you mean me, I don't think I should leave you-'

'It's all right, Bryn.' J'shana smiled at him. 'You should go. You're still shaken up from what Mercer did.'

He was, too, I realised suddenly. His face was paler than usual, and he looked as exhausted as I'd ever seen him. _I should have noticed that before, _I thought guiltily.

'And by the way, Karliah,' J'shana added suddenly, turning to me, 'you can go with him, since clearly want to.'

Brynjolf looked confused, but I simply stared. How had she been able to tell what I was thinking?

'How did you-'

J'shana shrugged. 'I could see it on your face. It was pretty obvious. And I understand.'

I could tell from the warmth and sympathy in her voice that she did, but it didn't stop me from feeling a wave of shame crash over me. 'I'm sorry. It's just that I… I can't bear to face Nocturnal after my failure to protect the Key.' I looked down. 'I'm afraid you'll have to face the end of your journey alone.'

'I understand,' J'shana repeated. 'And in your place, I think I'd feel the same.' She smiled at me, a smile that was half kindness and half eager anticipation for what was to come. 'Don't worry. I'll see the Key back safely.'

'Well, now we've sorted that out, I have a question, lass' Brynjolf interrupted abruptly, fixing J'shana with a hard stare. 'Who are you?'

Uncertainty flickered across J'shana's face. 'You know who I am,' she replied evenly. 'I'm J'shana.'

Brynjolf's eyes narrowed. 'You're her,' he announced.

Hurt flashed in J'shana's eyes. 'I'm not her,' she hissed, the end of her tail twitching. 'I'm me.'

Shaking his head, Brynjolf raised his hands, as if trying to calm her. 'I'm sorry, lass, I didn't mean…' He swallowed. 'I mean, you're…'

His voice trailed off, but I finished the sentence for him.

'The Dragonborn.'

J'shana looked at the ground, sorrow in her eyes. 'I knew I couldn't keep it hidden forever,' she murmured. 'I knew it was too big a secret for me to keep. But still, I hoped…'

She sat down on one of the broad golden pipes that lined the walls. 'I was the _Dovahkiin,' _she began softly, her gaze fixed on her feet. 'The Dragonborn. And I still am, I suppose. But I left it behind. All of it. The name, the responsibility, everything. It wasn't the life I wanted to live.'

'Why not?' There was bafflement in Brynjolf's eyes.

She looked up at us sharply. 'You've seen me fight,' she said. 'You've seen how I… rage. I don't choose to do that. But all a dragon knows is rage and fury and fire. The will to dominate is in their blood. And as I carry their blood, I feel it within myself.' She closed her eyes. 'You can't imagine it unless you've been through it.'

She clasped her hands together. 'I came to Skyrim about two years ago. I found out who I was within a week. The Nords were… difficult. They didn't want a Khajiit Dragonborn. They wanted their saviour to be one of them, and I'm about as different from them as you can get. Most of them refused to believe it. Some of them believed it and hated it, and that was worse.'

I swallowed, thinking of the legends I had read back in the Guild. 'So you gave it up?'

She nodded. 'I never told anyone my name. I never stayed anywhere long. Because I never intended to stay as Dragonborn. I didn't choose it. It chose me. And maybe once, I would have welcomed it, but then... it was a burden.' Her whiskers twitched. 'Don't think I hated it, and don't think I still do hate it, because that's not true. I loved it. And I still do. The power of the Voice, the things I did, the battles I fought, the lives I saved…'

Her eyes glowed with exhilaration. 'By the twin moons, I rode on the back of a dragon. I found an Elder Scroll. I ventured into Sovngarde itself. Yes, I was honoured to be chosen as _Dovahkiin, _and I still am. I never wished it had been different. I don't think I ever will.' She frowned. 'I just never felt like myself. As if… as if there was something else, some other destiny, waiting for me.' She shrugged, smiling. 'I think maybe it was this one.'

_It was, _I thought. _Nocturnal chose you long ago._

'But lass, it doesn't make sense.' Brynjolf shook his head. 'Isn't the Dragonborn bound to Sovngarde?'

'Nocturnal would have known,' I said quietly. 'She wouldn't have let you become a Nightingale if it made a difference to her.'

'I'm glad it didn't.' J'shana sighed. 'I've felt more at home with the Guild than I have anywhere else. This is where I belong. This is who I am now. The person I used to be doesn't matter. What matters is who I am here, today. The Dragonborn is a part of me, but she's not who I want to be.' She nodded slowly, as if confirming something to herself. 'I want to be J'shana. I am J'shana. And nothing anyone does or says can ever change that.'

I stared at her in amazement. So here was someone else who did not know their true identity, someone else who struggled to make sense of who they were.

I had thought I was alone in that respect. But I was not.

J'shana suddenly grinned. 'And if either of you two starts making jokes about the feline Nightingale with the soul of a dragon who owns a dog, I swear to Alkosh I'll kill you.'

Brynjolf chuckled. 'I'll try not to, lass.'

I looked at J'shana for a second more. I thought about who readily she had accepted - and understood - that Brynjolf and I wanted to return to Riften. I thought about how she had felt nothing but pity for Mercer, even as he was ready to kill her. I thought about how akin to Gallus she was, how like myself she was. And I made a decision.

'J'shana,' I said slowly. 'If you're braving the Path alone, then take this with you.'

As I lifted my bow from my back, I remembered my mother's words to me. '_This bow has been passed down through our family for years. One day the time will come when you too will pass it on, perhaps to a daughter or son of your own. But for now, it belongs in your hands.'_

But it belonged in my hands no longer. The final arrow I had fired from it, the one that had claimed the life of Mercer Frey- that had been the last shot I would fire from it. It had served me well and faithfully, and I had been proud to carry it. But I no longer needed it.

And J'shana did. Perhaps it was symbolic that her bow had broken as she fought Mercer. Perhaps it had been a sign to me.

I had no daughter, no son. Perhaps if Gallus had lived, it might have been different. But he had not lived. And though I could not pass on this bow to someone who carried my blood, I could pass it on to someone who might as well have been. Because I knew in that moment that if I had ever been blessed with a daughter, then I would have wanted her to be like J'shana.

And so I held out my bow, and pressed it into her hands.

Her eyes widened. 'Are… are you sure?'

I nodded. 'I'm not certain if it'll help within the walls of the Sepulchre, but I certainly don't need it as much as you do.'

She carefully took it from my hands and ran her fingers along its surface. She bent the string back a little way, testing it, and smiled.

'It's beautiful,' she murmured. 'Thank you.'

'I've had it almost my entire life,' I told her, my throat growing tight, 'and it's never let me down.' I looked into those amber eyes, so serious, so fiery, and yet so innocent as well. 'I hope it brings you the same luck.'

She gazed at it for a moment longer, then nodded. 'I hope so too.'

She turned towards the entrance to the cave. 'I should go. The quicker the Key is returned, the better.'

'Good luck, lass,' Brynjolf told her.

'Eyes open, J'shana,' I called after her. 'Walk with the shadows.'

I heard her shout, 'And you!' before she vanished into the moonlight.

Brynjolf turned and looked at me.

'Well,' he said. 'That's that.'

I smiled sadly. Yes, for now, that was that. There was nothing more to be done except to return to the Guild. To wait. And pray.

To pray that J'shana returned the Key safely. To pray that she survived.

But it was almost at an end. The battle I had fought for twenty five years was nearly finished. And I had nearly won.

After all that I had been through. After all the losses I had suffered and the pain I had endured.

It was over, over at last.

* * *

**That's what you think, Karliah…**

**Sorry if anyone thinks there was a bit of a lack of action in this chapter. I felt that the characters needed a break after the events of the last one, and to be honest, I did too. **

**Not much longer to go now, just two or so chapters and the epilogue. But we all know who's going to show up again next chapter, don't we? I'll try to write it as fast as I can! **

**Thanks for reading!**


	40. Reunion

CHAPTER THIRTY NINE

Dawn was breaking on a pale grey horizon.

The road back to Riften was long and hard- especially since we had to search for the entrance to Irkngthand to collect our horses, as well as J'shana's, before we could leave. Brynjolf was half asleep in the saddle for most of the journey, and at one point he actually started snoring. I didn't blame him. It must have been awful for him, to lose complete control over himself, to be forced to fight against a friend. I couldn't imagine what he had been through- and I didn't want to imagine it.

But then, I was exhausted too, so much so that all I wanted to do was to collapse into the first bed I laid eyes on and sleep for an entire week. I hadn't slept since I had waited for J'shana in the Frozen Hearth, and even then only fitfully. It amazed me that J'shana was still on her feet- she couldn't have been able to rest since before Mercer took her to Snow Veil Sanctum. Either she had been drinking stamina potions without my noticing, or the souls of the dragons within her lent her their strength.

Her revelation had left me stunned. Dragonborn. J'shana, quiet, innocent, J'shana, so fiercely loyal and so mysterious and brave, was the Dragonborn, the hero chosen by Akatosh to save Skyrim. The Gods couldn't have made a stranger choice. They had made the right choice, there was no doubt about that. I could well see my fellow Nightingale having the courage and spirit to defend a land of strangers against the World Eater himself. But 'Dragonborn' was a word I connected more with a huge Nord warrior than with a shy young Khajiit thief.

But in my heart I knew it did not matter. It did not matter why she was Dragonborn, nor that she was Dragonborn. Her power over the Voice had saved us all, there was no doubt- but I respected her wish that she allow that part of her to be set aside. I knew how it felt to not know who you were. And I could well understand why she had chosen the life of a thief and a Nightingale, one where she could have a family and friends, one where strangers did not know who she was and where she could live happy and carefree, over a life of responsibility and unwanted fame, one where she would be forever set apart from others, one where her name was known by every man, elf and beast in Skyrim and where she had to live plagued by the knowledge that many hated her for who she was. Had it been me, I knew that I would have made the same choice.

And to me, it made no difference. Dragonborn or not, she was still J'shana, still the Khajiit who had saved my life and become my friend. I owed so much to her- not only my life, but my freedom too. She was the one who had brought me back to the Guild. She was the one who had trusted me and made sure that the Guild listened to my story. She had stood by me, taking the Oath, following me into Irkngthand. Whatever destiny the Divines had set out for her in the stars, she had a new one now. Just as Gallus and my mother had always told me that we decided our fates, so J'shana had taken her own life into her hands. She had changed the path of her destiny, and now she walked a different road. That was her choice, and nobody could make her change her mind.

She had chosen the path of the Nightingale. She had chosen to walk alongside Brynjolf and I. She had chosen to pass into Evergloam when the time came.

And as far as I was concerned, she had made the right choice.

And as for me…

I hadn't expected things to be this way. I had dreamed so many times of firing that final arrow, of seeing it pierce Mercer's throat, his heart, any place where it would end his life. I had cursed his name a thousand and one times, I had chanted my oath of vengeance in my mind whenever I found myself giving up. _'I will avenge you. I swear on my bow, and on my honour, and on all the love I have for you, Gallus, I will not rest until I have avenged your death. I don't care how long it takes, or how far I have to go, or what the cost might be. I. Will. Avenge. You.'_

I had meant it, every word. And I had fulfilled that oath. I had slain Mercer. The one who murdered my love had died at my hand.

But I hadn't expected this to be how it ended.

I had expected to feel… I wasn't sure, but some sort of triumph, at least. A sense of victory. Joy and pride at having put the betrayal to an end. Satisfaction that it was done. But I felt none of that. All I felt was a bitter, burning sorrow, a sadness that consumed everything. That, and a deep, profound relief that it was over, over at last.

I reached a hand to my neck and fingered the cold stone of the bird amulet that hung there. I had never expected to feel anything bur hatred for Mercer Frey. And I had certainly never expected to feel sorry for him.

But J'shana was right. How could I not pity- how could anyone not pity- someone who had forgotten what love and friendship meant? Gallus's death had been my fault, as much as Mercer's. And I suddenly found that I could no longer hate him for it. I could not forgive him- I could never forgive him, never- but I could no longer hate him. I could do nothing but pity him.

Perhaps it was foolish. Mercer had been driven mad by the end. I had seen it in his eyes. He had stopped caring about anything, or anyone, except himself. He had fallen into evil. Harsh as it was, it was the truth.

And yet I could not forget the look in his eyes as he breathed his last, as he gazed at the arrow that was about to snatch away his life. So much pain. In those final moments, he had regretted what he had done. He had felt remorse. He had understood my rage. He had seen the monster that had been made of him, and he had hated himself for allowing himself to become that monster.

And when I fired that final arrow, I think I did not fire out of rage or hatred or vengeance, but out of pity.

I hated what he had done. I hated how he had killed my Gallus and cast me out and destroyed the Guild and stolen the Key. But I no longer hated Mercer himself.

Perhaps no mortal can be evil. Perhaps only their actions can be evil. Perhaps, at heart, all mortals are good.

I know that Mercer was good once. Perhaps he still had been, even as he drove his blade through Gallus's heart. Perhaps that goodness had simply lost its way and become buried under cruelty and hatred. Perhaps it had resurfaced, right at the very end.

There was no perhaps. I had known Mercer once. I had been his friend, and he had been mine. He had once been a good man.

I felt desperately guilty for not seeing how he felt before. If I had seen, I could have spoken to him, helped him cope, healed the wound I had made in his heart, at least partially. If I had, then I might have saved him, saved Gallus, saved the Key, saved everything.

But I had not. And now there was no changing what had happened. It was in the past now, and I had to focus on the present.

And so now it had come to this. Brynjolf and I were returning home. And J'shana was facing the Pilgrim's Path, facing Nocturnal, by herself.

The knowledge that I had let her walk into unknown danger with no one to help her made me loathe myself. I had never felt so ashamed. But I couldn't- I _couldn't- _face Nocturnal yet.

But maybe there was something that I could do. Maybe… maybe I could go to Nightingale Hall. Maybe I could wait for J'shana there. I would know instantly when the portal opened. I could wait for her to return. Even if I could not bear to stand under Nocturnal's gaze, I could at least stand by my fellow Nightingale. I could await her return, and welcome her home.

And suddenly I knew that I had to. Even if I was too cowardly to return the Key myself, J'shana should have someone there to honour her success.

'Brynjolf,' I called.

The Nord raised his head and turned to me. 'Aye, lass?'

I looked at the woods surrounding us. They were starting to merge into the golden-leaved woods of the Rift, and I realised only then how much I had missed wandering under their shade. 'Brynjolf, I'm going to Nightingale Hall.'

He looked confused for a moment, then understanding dawned on his face. 'To wait for J'shana?'

I nodded. 'I was too much of a coward to have gone with her,' I said bitterly. 'I should make up for that by at least going to meet her.'

He smiled. 'You're no coward, Karliah.'

I said nothing.

'Listen, lass, you're many things, but a coward's not one of them. No coward could have stayed alive with the whole Guild hunting her down for a quarter century. No coward could have returned to us after we'd sworn to kill them. No coward could have gone into Irkngthand, even after nearly dying there before.' There was warmth in his green gaze. 'As far as I'm concerned, the one thing no one can ever call you is a coward. And 'no one' includes yourself.'

I remembered what my mother had told me about self-belief, and found myself able to return his smile. 'Thank you, Brynjolf,' I said quietly.

He frowned. 'If you don't mind my saying, though, I don't think I get why you're afraid to face Nocturnal. Surely she wouldn't have even come to us if she was that angry.'

He was right, in a way. But the thing about courage is that you seldom notice yourself being courageous. Courage is not the absence of fear; it is looking your fears in the face and withstanding them. When you are showing courage, all you feel is terror. I had never considered myself to be brave as I did the things that Brynjolf said I had done. And those things had been done out of necessity. I had had no choice.

I could understand what he meant. And in my heart I knew he was right. But suddenly I found myself able to voice the knowledge that I had been carrying around with my like a stone in my stomach since the day that Gallus died.

'I've been a Nightingale for a long time,' I told him heavily. 'I sold my allegiance to Nocturnal the night my mother died. And in exchange I received many profitable years of thieving. But I allowed myself to make my dedication to Nocturnal the second most important thing in my life, and that was what allowed all this to happen.'

'How'd you do that?'

I looked right into his eyes. 'By falling in love with Gallus.'

His eyes widened. 'Shor's mercy…' He shook his head, as if trying to clear it. 'Gods, lass, I'm sorry. I didn't know.'

'We didn't want anyone to know,' I replied.

'But how-?'

'It was wrong,' I interrupted bitterly. Pain was coursing through me, pain I had been trying to supress for years. Pain I had been trying to ignore, to pretend wasn't there. 'It was a distraction that allowed the Sepulcher to be desecrated and it likely cost him his life. Until the Key is returned, I will never set foot inside that place again. Never.' I swallowed back tears. 'Gallus died because of what was between the two of us. And Nocturnal knows it. I can't face her, Brynjolf. I can't.'

And it was true. It was a truth so painful it nearly tore me apart. Nocturnal had demanded loyalty to her above all else, and we had allowed our first loyalty to become to each other.

Brynjolf looked at me with undisguised sorrow and anguish. 'Lass, I-'

His voice faded away, and we went on in silence.

As we reached the foot of the mountain, I said farewell to Brynjolf and turned Ebony towards the cliffs. I had hoped that voicing my pain to Brynjolf might ease it. But all it had done was to make it far, far worse. As if there had been a dagger sunk into my chest for all these years, and I had just driven it further in.

Nocturnal knew that Gallus had died and the Key had been stolen because I had fallen in love with Gallus and both Gallus and Mercer had fallen in love with me. Through our own foolishness, we had brought about our downfall. Love was a concept that the Dark Lady could not understand. I doubted any of the Daedra could. She would not, could not understand what I had been through, what any of us had been through. She expected undying loyalty to her, and that I could so utterly give myself to another mortal was a concept beyond her comprehension.

No. I could not face her.

The sun was still rising as I reached the hall. The white sky was beginning to be washed with gold, and the clouds were shining red. Red as fire. Red as blood. As if the Divines themselves were mourning for all the blood that had been spilled since that fateful day twenty five years ago, when my life was torn apart.

I tied Ebony to a tree outside and pushed open the door. The light of the dawn shone into the tunnel, illuminating it for a moment before I pulled the door shut after me. The silence was deep and solemn, broken only by the soft whispering of the stream and the echoing sound of my footsteps. The wooden bridge creaked underneath my feet as I crossed it.

_We need to do something about this place, _I thought, The Nightingales had long since stopped caring for the Hall, but it must once have been a beautiful place. Perhaps later, Brynjolf and J'shana would hep me repair it; to restore it to its former glory and dignity.

The portal was still closed. I hadn't expected it to be open. I made my way back to the main chamber and sat down at one of the worn-down tables, resting my head on my hands.

I'd come so far since I had last been here. And I'd come even further since the time before that. And I did not doubt that the next time I came here, I would have come farther still.

It was strange, almost unnerving, how much I had changed over the years. From a wide-eyed, innocent child, to a carefree Guild member, content among my home and family. And then I had become a Nightingale, set apart from my Guild brothers and sisters, hiding and protecting the mysteries of Nocturnal. And then Mercer had murdered Gallus, and I had become an exile, an outcast, a runaway. I had forgotten everything, forgotten the Guild, forgotten Gallus, forgotten the Nightingales, forgotten myself. And suddenly I had remembered everything and I had returned to the Guild and to Nocturnal. And now I had become… whoever I was now.

But who was I now? I was no longer the woman I had been once. But I could not say who I was now.

I sighed. If only Gallus had lived. He would be able to tell me who I was. He had always known who I was- perhaps better than I had.

But Gallus had not lived. He had died. And now there was no one to tell me who I was.

I suddenly remembered something. Something I had forgotten until now.

I got to my feet and ran back through the tunnel to the entrance, back to where I had left Ebony, who was quietly grazing the dew-coated grass. I threw open her saddlebag and reached inside. There, tucked into the bottom, was Gallus's journal.

I made my way back inside the Hall, gazing at the book clutched in my hands. The cover was worn , cracked and hard after years in the Sanctum, and several of the pages were worn enough to fall apart as I turned them. But the writing on them was still there- faded, but there. Perhaps it was written in a language I could not read, but it had been written by him, every word. Pages and pages of his neat, careful writing, His words, Gallus's words. His thoughts and emotions, his mind, his heart, all hidden within this book.

I turned the pages slowly as I sat down again, running my hand over them, gazing at them as if hoping that they would suddenly translate for me as I stared at them. I wasn't sure whether I wished I were able to read them or not. It seemed like I would e invading his privacy if I did. And yet, I longed so much for his voice, his gentle words. Even if it was only writing, they were still his words, words that Gallus had written down, and they were one of the last and only links I had with him.

But I could not read them. Maybe some day, I would take Enthir's notes and translate it. But not today.

I turned to the final page, the page where the writing stopped abruptly. And then I noticed something.

I lifted the corner of the next page. It was heavier than it should be. And thicker.

It was stuck to the next page.

My heart racing, I tried to pull them apart, but they would not move. I drew my dagger and slipped it between the two pages, piercing whatever it was that was keeping them stuck together and gently prising them apart. They fell open, revealing the pages between them, filled with careful writing.

Writing in Dunmeris. In the language of my own people.

Writing in Gallus's flawless, tidy hand.

Dunmeris had been my mother's first language, as she had grown up in Morrowind, and it had been the language I had first learned to speak. I had hardly spoken it since I joined the Guild, seeing as I had been the only Dark Elf there. But I had not forgotten how to read it.

And there could only be one reason why Gallus, an Imperial, would write these pages in the Dunmer tongue.

It was clear who he had intended to read this.

I drew in a deep breath, looked at the beginning of the page, and began to read. I could almost hear that mellow, rich voice sounding in my ear as I drank in the words.

_Karliah,_

_This is for your eyes, my little Nightingale, and for your eyes only. I hope with all my heart that you never read this; that you never have to read this. But if you are reading this, then I am almost certainly dead._

_And if I am dead, then it means that the suspicions I've had for some time now have been confirmed. I don't know how much you've found out, Karliah, because I have no telling when you'll read this, if you'll ever read it at all. But I cannot bear the thought of you, sometime in the future, not knowing the truth about how I died. And so I will do my best to explain._

_I have had my doubts about Mercer's loyalty to our Guild for a while now. It isn't his fault. I know why he has turned from us, and it is my fault, in truth, that he has. I have little time, my love, so I cannot explain anywhere near as thoroughly as I would like. But you must know, because if I am gone then only you can stop him from destroying both the Guild and the Nightingales, that he has stolen the Skeleton Key, and he has stolen from the Guild, and he has shattered his Nightingale Oath, and- it pains me to say it- he wishes to see me dead. In fact, I believe that he wishes to see both of us dead._

_You have no idea how hard it is for me to write this, Karliah. But the thought that your life may be in danger is enough to make me do this._

_I wish now that I had told you all this long ago, but now it is too late. Please do not think I did not trust you. I did this- oh, you will hate me for saying this- but I hid the truth from you to protect you. I know that you can look after yourself, my love, I learned that long ago, but I simply could not put you in danger. If you were to learn too much, then Mercer would see you as another threat to be eliminated. And I could not bear it if anything happened to you. I am almost certain that he has asked me to go to Snow Veil Sanctum so that he can kill me there, away from prying eyes. I expect you're wondering now why I went. I had to give him a chance. I cannot forget that he is my friend. And yes, I say that he is still my friend, despite what he has done._

_I promised to return to you, Karliah. You know that I always keep my promises. But that may have been one promise I will not be able to keep. Forgive me._

_And forgive me for leaving you._

_There is so much more I have to say. But I cannot say all the things that I want to say. They were things that were meant to be said as I held you in my arms and ran my hands through your hair and gazed into the depths of your beautiful eyes. They weren't meant to be said here. I can never say what is in my heart in this way, hidden in this book, a book that you can only be reading long, long after I am gone._

_But I will do my best, for your sake._

_I love you, Karliah. You know that. Please, please, never forget it. You mean more to me than anything else in the world. I am sorry, more sorry than I can ever say, for leaving you like this. But if it is any consolation at all, I will not be lost on my death. Even if I cannot pass to Evergloam with the Key gone, then I shall stay in the Sepulchre until it is returned. And it will be returned, I know that. And when it is, then when you too leave this world behind, we can see each other once again in the shadows._

_Do not blame yourself for what happened to me. Please, do not blame yourself. I am to blame, if anyone is. I should never have allowed any of this to happen. But the truth is that I do not regret it. If I am to die in the Sanctum then my only regret is that I am to leave you behind. I would far rather have lived a short life where I could know your love than a long one where we would never be anything more than partners in crime._

_And please do not allow yourself to live the rest of your life mourning what has happened. This does not change the fact that you have your life to live. If you wish to honour my memory, my little Nightingale, then the best thing you can do is to live the rest of your life to the full, until we meet again. Please, try to keep going with strength and happiness. For my sake, if not for your own._

_I must keep going. I must reach the Sanctum soon. I know you well enough to be sure that you will almost certainly have followed me, and I cannot risk your life by letting you arrive while Mercer and I are still there. And… if I am to die, then I do not want you to have to see it._

_Stay strong, my love. One day, we will have an eternity to spend together._

_Nocturnal watch over you, Karliah, my little Nightingale. Eyes open. Walk with the shadows._

_- Gallus_

I held the book in my hands, staring at it without really seeing it. My heart was pounding, and I could feel tears coming unbidden to my eyes.

I did not try to stop them.

'Gallus,' I half whispered, half sobbed, clutching the book to my chest. 'Gallus, Gallus, Gallus.'

I did not know what else to think, let alone say. His words washed around in my head, words I could so nearly hear him saying. They were so different from the thoughts I had held in my heart for all this time that for a few minutes I could do nothing but repeat his name again and again, desperately trying to make sense of what I had just read.

_Do not blame yourself. _That was what he had said. But how could I not blame myself? I had not saved him, I had let him die, I had watched him die right in front of me and I'd done nothing to stop Mercer, nothing to save Gallus, not until it was too late-

But he did not blame me. And… I drew in a long, shuddering breath. _I would far rather have lived a short life where I could know your love than a long one where we would never be anything more than partners in crime. _That was what hit me the hardest. I had said to Brynjolf that Gallus and I should never have allowed our love for each other to have overcome our loyalty to the Nightingales.

But as I read and re-read Gallus's words, I realised he was right. Wasn't he always right? I would have chosen this life, a life of pain and hardship and blood and tears, and yet a life where, for however brief a time, I had had Gallus's love, over a life without Gallus where I had lived safe and content.

I remembered what I had told him all that time ago, on the day we had snatched alone in the golden forests. _'I wouldn't exchange you for anything.'_

And it was true. I swallowed back my tears and raised my head, allowing what was not quite a smile but was halfway there to come over my face. I wouldn't have exchanged the times we had shared for anything, anything at all. Not even after all that I had been through.

As I gazed at the worn pages that contained so much of Gallus's heart, I heard a sound. A warping, distorted sound, as if the fabric of reality was being torn apart and repaired in a single second.

I dropped Gallus's journal, and it fell with a thump onto the table. Was that truly what I thought it was?

I turned and ran, over the bridge, through the passages, into the armour room. And there it was, just as it had been before.

The portal.

It was open.

The Key had been returned.

J'shana had succeeded.

For a moment, I hesitated. And then suddenly I moved without realising I was moving. Somehow, as I had read Gallus's words, they had lent me strength. And I no longer feared Nocturnal.

Because I knew that I had not been wrong to love Gallus.

Even if it had destroyed the Nightingales, I would never, never, regret it again.

And so I ran forwards and hurled myself through the portal.

A strange feeling washed over me, as if I were rising and falling at the same time. It was as if a strong gust of wind had taken hold of me in invisible hands and was rushing forwards with me in its grasp.

It only lasted for less than a second. By the time I had finished my stride, I had passed through the portal, and into the darkness of the Twilight Sepulchre.

J'shana stood a little way away from me, Meeko beside her. Her pelt was flecked with blood in several paces, and her face was worn and exhausted, but there was a gleam of triumphant joy in her fiery eyes. Meeko, too, looked dead on his paws, but if it was possible for a dog to look victorious, that was how he looked.

In front of the two of them was a sight more incredible than any I had, or have, seen before or since.

The Ebonmere had reopened. I had only seen it a few times before, but the sight of it still took my breath away. The only way I can describe it to one who has never seen it is as a pool of liquid twilight. A tiny lake of shadow and darkness, a rift between worlds. The conduit to Evergloam, the way for the spirits of Nightingales to pass into the shadows. The theft of the Key had wrenched it shut. But now, with the Key returned, the spirits could pass through once more, and Nocturnal's power could reach us again.

And if I had doubted that for a second, the proof was right in front of me.

I nearly died of shock as I took in the sight. Because Nocturnal, the Queen of Murk and Empress of Shadow, the Daedric Prince who I had failed and fled from and had now returned to, was hovering above the water, a flock of jet-black nightingales whirling around her, her gaze fixed on myself and J'shana.

This was her. In the flesh. Nocturnal herself, not merely a patch of shimmering purple mist. This was her in her true form.

The knowledge was enough to take my breath away. Looking at J'shana, I saw that she was equally stunned.

Nocturnal's voice sounded suddenly in my ear, as if she were speaking from nowhere and everywhere at once. _My, my... what do we have here?_

_It's been a number of years since I've set foot on your world. _Laughter echoed through the small stone chamber._ Or perhaps it's been moments. One tends to lose track._

The nightingales on her arms shrieked and flapped their wings. _So, _she said slowly, drawing out the word. _Once again the Key has been stolen and a champion returns it to the Sepulcher. _She rolled the word 'champion' around in the air, as if mocking it. Her cold gaze turned away from J'shana, and onto me. _And her fellow Nightingale is able to summon the nerve to come and greet her._

I swallowed hard, unable to understand how I had dared to.

_Now that the Ebonmere has been restored, _Nocturnal went on, almost carelessly, _You stand before me awaiting your accolades, a pat on your back... a kiss on your cheek. _She smiled mirthlessly._ What you fail to realize is your actions were expected and represent nothing more than the fulfillment of your agreement._

J'shana glanced at me, and I could see her wondering whether or not she should speak. I shook my head at her.

_Don't mistake my tone for displeasure; after all, you've obediently performed your duties to the letter. _Nocturnal chuckled, her eyes on the Khajiit again. _But we both know this has little to do with honor and oaths and loyalty. It's about the reward, the prize._

My fellow Nightingale opened her mouth, looking indignant, and I could see that she was about to protest. Again, I gestured for her to remain silent, and she closed her mouth again, her eyes glinting with outrage and annoyance. I smiled secretly to myself. Nocturnal knew full well that J'shana had done none of this through any thoughts of personal benefit. She would never have chosen a mortal who valued themselves over their Oaths.

_Which was exactly what you did, _a voice hissed in the back of my mind. I pushed it away.

_Fear not. _Nocturnal's voice was heavy with a mixture of disdain and what might have been amusement. _You'll have your trinkets, your desire for power, your hunger for wealth. You shall become my Agent; you will receive your share in my power. Reward enough for any mortal, don't you think?_

J'shana bowed her head. 'Yes, my Lady, but I have a question.'

_Ask not, mortal. I know your question already, and your answer is this. That some dragon God chose you as his champion is of little concern to me. Your allegiance to me is all that I care about._

'But when I die-'

_When you die, you shall serve your time in the Sepulchre until your debt to me is repaid. And then you may move freely between Sovngarde and Evergloam. _Nocturnal's eyes narrowed. _Remain loyal, and you shall receive your reward._

J'shana frowned. 'You knew I am Dragonborn. Did you choose me despite or because of that?'

No reply. I had to force myself not to flinch as the unblinking gaze of my Lady turned to me.

_And you, Karliah. I notice that you did not brave the Path yourself._

There was no lying to her. She knew all there was to know anyway.

'I was afraid to face you, my Lady,' I said simply.

_And yet, despite your fear, here you are. _Nocturnal raised her arms slightly. _Your loyalty is… acknowledged. You have repaired the damage done to your Oath, Karliah. I suggest that you make sure things remain that way._

I stared at her in utter shock. Had I truly heard those words? Had she really said that, or had I just been imagining it? Because I knew that this was the closest Nocturnal could ever or would ever come to an apology.

Nocturnal rose a little higher above the shimmering pool of shadows. _The Oath has been struck, the die has been cast and your fates awaits you in the Evergloam, _she announced, her voice ringing clear and loud through the rose higher still, streaks of purple mist swirling around her. The flock of nightingales appeared again, spiraling down into the waters of the Ebonmere in a shrieking cloud of ebony-coloured sank down into the pool along with them, her final words echoing off the walls.

_Farewell, Nightingales. See to it the Key stays this time, won't you?_

And she was gone.

We were silent for a few moments, gazing down into the pool where she had disappeared. Then Meeko barked joyfully and bounded over to me, his tail wagging manically.

'I thought you weren't coming,' J'shana said, sounding surprised but pleased.

I shrugged. 'I found something that changed my mind.' Unwilling and unable to tell her about it now, I quickly changed the subject. 'I'm glad that you were able to bring the Key back safely.'

'Safely?' J'shana laughed. 'Those Nightingale sentinels nearly killed me. I'll be sure to never again underestimate how much damage can be done by a sword that's only half there.'

My heart clenched. Gallus might well have been one of those spirits. The thought that we might have been too late to save him, that he might have already forgotten everything about who he was… it was unbearable.

'Mind you,' J'shana added suddenly, 'I do think _she_ might have been a little more considerate.' She nodded to the pool. 'I didn't do any of it for a reward. And she sounded indifferent.'

'I wouldn't take that to heart,' I assured her. 'It's her way.' I smiled as I remembered what Gallus had once told me. 'Think of her as a scolding mother continually pushing you harder to be successful; outwardly sounding angry but silently content. I assure you, had she been displeased with you, we wouldn't be having this conversation.'

J'shana smiled back. 'Glad to hear it. So, what's all this about becoming an Agent of Nocturnal?'

I indicated the three circles at the base of the Ebonmere pool. 'The circles at the base of the Ebonmere imbue you with powers befitting a Nightingale Agent. The crescent moon represents the Agent of Shadow, the half moon for the Agent of Subterfuge and the full moon for the Agent of Strife.' Seeing J'shana's confusion, I explained. 'The Agent of Stealth is the master of remaining unseen. They are able to manipulate the darkness and use it to their advantage. In moonlit nights or in darkened rooms, this agent literally becomes invisible.'

'That was what Mercer did, in Irkgnthand.' J'shana's eyes narrowed. 'He was Stealth.'

I shook my head. 'No, Mercer used the Key's power to steal all three abilities. I was Stealth, before the loss of my position.' I swallowed, unwilling to think about that shame, and about my failure which had caused it. 'Mercer was Strife.' I nodded to the full moon. 'He could send forth a tendril of pure darkness into the heart of another, causing great injury to them. At the same time, this tether bolstered his own life force, making him stronger.'

'And the third?' J'shana asked, tipping her head on one side.

'The third is the Agent of Subterfuge, who utilises shadow to cloud the judgement of those around him. By weaving the darkness to their will, this agent can manipulate others into fighting for the Nightingale for a limited time.'

J'shana whistled softly. 'That's pretty powerful.'

I nodded. 'That was Gallus, before. He was forever using it to make a distraction when the guards were looking our way.' I folded my arms. 'So what do you choose?'

J'shana frowned, considering. 'Strife,' she said finally, stepping onto the full moon, allowing its power to take her. 'I suppose it's impossible to be all three.'

I inclined my head. 'Yes. This is Nocturnal's way of maintaining balance. If you ever feel the need to change your abilities, you can return to the Sepulcher and step onto a different circle. Be warned that once you've chosen, you can't reselect for at least a day.'

J'shana dipped her head seriously. 'That makes sense.' She turned back to me, eyebrows raised inquisitively. 'So… what now?'

I looked at the Key, resting calmly and snugly in its lock, as if it had never been removed, as if it had never caused all the heartbreak it had. My journey was finally at an end. There was no bringing Gallus back to life, but the truth had been revealed, the Nightingales had been restored, the Key had been returned, Mercer was dead, and the Guild was safe. Deep within me, I felt the wound in my heart close a little.

'Now,' I told J'shana, a smile beginning to creep over my face, 'your life as a Nightingale begins. Should the need arise, you'll be summoned to the Sepulcher in order to defend it.'

'And you?'

I closed my eyes for a moment. 'Gallus's death had been avenged, and his memory has been laid to rest,' I said quietly. Opening my eyes, I saw J'shana's eyes suddenly widen, as if there was something she wished to say, but I went on before she could. 'I feel like a void in my life has finally been filled. I only hope that this isn't an ending to things, but actually the beginning.'

J'shana's whiskers twitched slightly. 'The beginning of what?'

Again, I glanced at the Key, and I realized that J'shana had opened far more than the Ebonmere when she brought it back to its lock. She had opened up a new life for all of us, a life bursting with opportunity and new ways forward.

'Why, perhaps the greatest crime spree Skyrim's ever known.' I felt my smile widening, and saw J'shana's eyes beginning to glow with excitement. 'There are pockets brimming with coin,' I continued, 'and coffers overflowing with riches ripe for the picking. We may be Nightingales, but in our hearts we're still thieves- and we're damn good at what we do

J'shana's bright laugh filled the room. 'You never said a truer word.' She grinned from ear to ear. 'And I for one can't wait.'

Silence fell for a moment, as we stood there together in the darkness. I felt as if I had just come to the edge of a cliff, and I was looking out over the edge. I had a choice, now. I could leap off and fall, and be smashed to pieces on the ground below. Or I could open my wings and fly up, towards the stars and the sun.

I intended to fly. Was I a Nightingale or not?

It was time to return. We had a Guild waiting for us. We had places to go, things to see, gold to steal, a Skeleton Key to protect… and town guards to infuriate. _Live the rest of your life to the full, until we meet again. _That was what Gallus had said. And I would.

'There's one more thing you should know.' J'shana's voice jolted me out of my thoughts. 'Back at the beginning of the Path, at the entrance to the Sepulchre, I met-'

She snapped of the sentence abruptly, gasping, her amber eyes growing wide. I frowned with confusion, and was about to turn around, to see whatever it was that had surprised her, when a voice echoed around the chamber. A smooth, rich, careful sounding voice. A voice that made me freeze as if I had been locked in ice, that made my heart begin to race again, a voice that I had not heard for twenty five years, and that I had never expected to hear again in this world.

A voice that said a single word.

'Karliah?'

Slowly, infinitely slowly, hardly daring to breathe, I turned around. My whole body was trembling and there were a million conflicting emotions rising up within me and I could only just summon the courage to look around. Disbelief was coursing through me, and I was afraid to turn, in case I had merely imagined it, in case it would stop it from being true-

But I knew that voice-

I could never forget that voice-

But it couldn't be him-

It couldn't be-

But it was.

His name dropped from my mouth, a gasp of amazement. '_Gallus?'_

He took a step forwards, those eyes I remembered so well shining out at me from the darkness.

It was him. I could have died from sheer joy then and there. It was him, really him. He was here, he was still himself, and he was here-

_Gallus was here-_

He was hard to make out in the darkness, surrounded shimmering patch of blueish mist, his whole body translucent and wreathed in a soft glow. But it was him, and as he pushed back the hood of his armour and half walked, half drifted across the room to stand in front of me, I saw that his smile was unchanged.

After all this time-

After all the pain-

After twenty five years or torture-

_He was here._

'I feared I would never see you again!' The words tumbled unstoppably from my mouth like water freed from ice. 'I was afraid you'd become… like the others…'

I reached out for him, desperate to feel the warmth of his hand in mine, to touch him and know that this was real. But my hand passed through him as if I had been trying to take hold of a wisp of smoke or a gust of wind. There was sorrow in his eyes and in his smile as he spoke, his voice resonating from the walls of the chamber. 'If it were not for the actions of this Nightingale,' he murmured, shooting a glance at J'shana, 'your fears would have come true. She honours us all.'

J'shana smiled bashfully, and I felt a wave of gratitude overwhelm me. The Khajiit had ventured alone into the darkness to return the Key. She had made this possible. She had brought him back to me…

'Gallus, I'm sorry.' I felt the burning joy inside me falter slightly as all my guilt and shame came flooding back.

He looked at me with concern and confusion. 'Why? What is there for you to be sorry for?'

'I didn't save you.' My voice was barely audible. 'And I forgot you. I should have done this long ago-'

'No, Karliah. It is I that must ask forgiveness of you.' He sighed, the way a dying angel might sigh, a sigh that was the saddest and most beautiful sound I had ever heard in my life. 'I broke my promise to you.'

'It wasn't your fault.' My throat was so tight that I had to struggle to force the words out.

'Neither was it yours.'

I shook my head. 'I should have saved you…'

'No. There was nothing you could have done.' He bowed his head. 'You cannot- you must not- blame yourself for what happened to me.'

Silence fell, broken only by the sound of Meeko's still-wagging tail thumping against J'shana's leg.

I looked into those eyes, eyes that still contained that glimmer of mischief and excitement, even after all this time. 'What will you do now, my love?'

His head turned towards the midnight pool, and his voice was heavy with sorrow as he replied. 'Nocturnal calls me to the Evergloam. My contract has been fulfilled.'

I gasped, horror flooding through me. I couldn't lose him now, not after all this time, not after I had found him again. 'You're… you're leaving?'

'No, Karliah.' His smile was brighter than the rising run. 'I will never leave you again.'

Again, there were tears threatening my eyes, and I did not try to hold them back. 'Will I ever see you again?' I whispered, and I felt as if my heart was being broken for yet another time.

There was a world of warmth and love in those beautiful eyes, those eyes that I had missed so much. 'When your debt to Nocturnal is repaid, and you join me in the Evergloam, we'll embrace one again.'

I swallowed. 'That time might be years away.'

'A single second, a thousand lifetimes- it makes no difference to me, Karliah.' His gaze burned into mine. 'For you, I can wait. I will wait for as long as it takes.'

'Gallus…'

He swallowed back tears of his own. 'I will watch over you from the shadows, no matter where you go. I will protect you in death just as I once did in life. Do not grieve for me, my love, for I will be with you always.'

The waters of the Ebonmere swirled, as if calling him to them. He let out a long, slow breath, his eyes burning with grief and love. 'I cannot stay in this world any longer,' he murmured. 'But I will never leave you.'

I closed my eyes. It was too short. We needed more time, more time to say everything that was in our hearts.

But that time would come.

'Farewell, Gallus.' My voice was choked with tears. 'Eyes open… walk with the shadows.'

His smile returned to his face, more dazzling than ever before. 'Goodbye, Karliah.'

We gazed into each other's eyes for a moment longer. Then he turned and slowly made his way over to the Ebonmere pool. He stared into its dark depths, and I realized that this was the last moment we could share together until I died, until I served my time in the Sepulchre and joined him in the shadows. I could not let it pass without saying the thing I most needed to say.

'Gallus,' I cried, and I heard my desperation ringing through the air. 'I love you.'

His smile widened as stepped into the liquid twilight and began to fade, his body drifting apart and swirling down into the darkness of the Ebonmere, until all that was left was the sound of his soft chuckle, and his final words, echoing through the shadows.

'I love you too, my little Nightingale.'

* * *

**I came so close to crying when I watched the cutscene between Gallus and Karliah. I tried my best to get it right here, but I don't think it's even possible to do a scene that beautiful proper justice. I hope I did OK anyway.**

**According to the Elder Scrolls lore wiki, Dunmeris is the traditional language of the Dunmer, but is very seldom spoken. I may be wrong of course, but while writing this story I learned that it is extremely difficult to get a straight answer on anything concerning Elder Scrolls lore. The other thing I had trouble with was what would happen to J'shana when she died. Since in the game, your soul can end up being promised to Nocturnal, Akatosh, Sithis, Hircine and probably some other Divines and Daedric Princes too, I naturally had to come up with my own theory. Also, I've no idea how Gallus, Mercer and Karliah divided up their Nightingale Agent roles. I picked the ones I felt suited their personalities best.**

**So, next chapter will be the final one before the epilogue. I'm considering including a little bit of J'shana's past, and why she came to Skyrim, if you guys are interested. And Karliah will have to make a difficult decision... but I've told you too much already! Everything else will be revealed in the final chapter.**


	41. Peace

**By the Divines. I am finding this hard to believe. Chapter Forty- the final one before the epilogue. I've been writing this for what seems like forever and now it's nearly over.**

**Apparently you guys wanted to know a little more about J'shana's past, so I revealed the rest of her backstory in this chapter. Hope you like it, I spent ages working it all out. Also, her husband will finally be making an appearance, by request of the awesome ShoutFinder! **

**If anyone's wondering about the time gap halfway through the chapter, I thought Karliah would need a bit of time to settle back into the Guild, and the the Guild would need some time to get used to Mercer being gone.**

**And so, at last, Karliah's journey has nearly reached its end. Mind you, emphasis on the 'nearly' there, because we've still got the epilogue. So here we go. Thank you to everyone who's read the story!**

* * *

CHAPTER FORTY

'_I love you too, my little Nightingale.'_

For a few seconds more, the words hung in the air, as if the Divines were showing pity on me for once in my life, letting the moment last instead of snatching it away. Those words, a final pledge of love, whispered in a voice I remembered so well, a voice I had dreamed of hearing again for so many years, echoed softly around the chamber, ringing in my ears, as if the whole world was trying to reassure me, to convince me that he still loved me, even after I had failed him. I stood still and silent, not daring to move or speak for fear of shattering the magic of the moment. Then the sound of his voice faded away into silence, and he was gone.

Forever.

No, not forever. I was a Nightingale again. When my time came, and I died, and left Nirn behind, I would go to the Sepulchre. I would serve my time there, repaying Nocturnal for what she had done for me. And then I would go to Evergloam. I would become one with the shadows. I would join Gallus. And then nothing- _nothing- _would be able to keep us apart.

But who could say when that time would come, apart from Nocturnal herself? My kind lived long lives, and aged slowly. If disease or battle did not claim us, we had the potential to live for thousands of years. In the eyes of a few of my fellow elves, those that had managed to avoid death, I was nothing but a child. My entire life was but a single second to them. I could live to see the mountains of Skyrim collapse. It might be a hundred lifetimes before I saw Gallus again.

And yet I knew it would not come to that. Even if the Dark Elves could live for many hundreds of years, few did. Not in a world as turbulent and dangerous as ours. And with the life I led, I would fall in battle long before I could see the turning of even a single century. I was a thief and a Nightingale. I had lived all my life with a weapon by my side, and I knew that one day I would die by one. Perhaps tomorrow, perhaps in many years' time. But one day, my death would come.

But even if that day was only short time away, as I listened to the last of Gallus's words dying in the silence, I suddenly could not bear to wait. To have found him again, the man I had loved more than life itself, to have looked into his eyes and seen his smile once more, after all those years of bitter hatred and wrenching grief, only to lose him again so quickly-

I could not bear it. I would not bear it. I couldn't lose him again so soon-

The rest of the world dropped away, and all I had eyes for was that pool of twilight, the swirling waters of liquid shadow where the man I had given my soul to had vanished. That was where he had gone, where he had passed into the shadows. I could not let him leave me again, I couldn't-

Not now-

Not after I had found him again-

A strange sort of madness took me, clouding my mind, snapping the link between my brain and my body so that my limbs moved of their own accord. Without thinking, I lurched forwards, my gaze fixed on the Ebonmere. If I could just reach it, just step into its depths, I might find him again, might be with him once more-

But suddenly I found myself being held back by a strong, firm grip. I struggled against whoever or whatever was holding me, desperate to reach that pool, to somehow find Gallus within its depths, but I could not break free.

'Let me go!' The words came out as a twisted sob. My mind was whirling, as was the world around me.

The reply was calm and quiet. 'No.'

I didn't care that my tears ran freely down my face without my even trying to hold them back, nor that it was the voice of a friend and a sister that had said the word. 'Please! I can't lose him again- not so soon-'

'You haven't lost him.' J'shana's voice was gentle, yet commanding, and I felt myself stop fighting against her grip. 'He's here now. He hasn't left you. He's with the shadows. He's free.'

_He's free. _Dimly, the words registered in my mind. I slowly felt the mad desperation fading from me, felt myself coming to my senses again. The hysteria raging within me died down, as if my emotions were a pot of boiling water that had been bubbling over a fire, but had suddenly been moved away from the heat and was cooling in the cold air.

'Free,' I repeated softly.

Free. No longer bound to Nirn. No longer imprisoned in the Sepulchre. He was one with the shadows. He was safe. He was free.

Nobody could hurt him. Never again. No false friend could betray him. Gallus, my Gallus, the man who was the reason I had survived and fought on despite all that I had been through, was finally free, safe from pain and betrayal.

J'shana released me, and stepped back, looking at me with sorrow and sympathy in her eyes. 'I'm sorry,' she said quietly. 'I'm sorry that he died. I'm sorry that you were banished for a crime you did not commit. I'm sorry that you had to wait this long for vengeance. And I'm sorry that he was returned to you, only to be snatched away again so soon.' She swallowed, and I could see that she was speaking the truth. She understood my pain.

'But you have to go on, Karliah.' The Khajiit's voice was firm now, allowing no argument. 'Maybe it will be many years before you can be with him again. But he is at peace now, and he'd want you to be too.'

Her gentle words calmed the storm raging within me, but all I could do was shake my head. 'How can I be at peace, J'shana?' I whispered. 'I love him. He is the world to me He's my life. When I made sure that I survived, I was surviving for him. When I fought, I fought for him. Everything I've done since the day I realised that I love him, I did it for him.' I shook my head. 'How can I go on now? The Guild doesn't trust me anymore. What future do I have with them? I can't go on, J'shana. I can't.'

I did not say _I loved him. _That would imply that I no longer did, or that he was no longer there to love. And he was still there, and I did still love him. I always would.

J'shana dipped her head slowly. 'I know. Believe me, I know. But he is not lost to you. And you have the rest of your life. The best thing you can do for him now is to try to be happy. For his sake, if not for your own.' She smiled sadly. 'We can't tell what life will bring our way. The Divines give and take what they will from us. We make and shape our futures and our world, and sometimes the world will make and shape us. And sometimes things will happen that you can't choose and that you'll wish had never happened. You have no choice about that. But you do have a choice about whether you will let the world beat you down, or whether you will get to your feet and fight on. We, the mortal folk of Nirn, decide where our destinies take us, and we will always have that choice. The great warrior isn't the one who never falls, but the one who falls time after time, and yet always picks themselves up.'

I stared at her, stared into those amber eyes. Young eyes, but eyes that shone with wisdom and understanding. I listened to her words as they died in the darkness, and realised that they were words that my mother might have spoken. Words that Gallus might have spoken. Words that made me realise something.

'You understand, don't you?' I half asked, half demanded, looking intently at her. 'You've been through this too.'

She stiffened, every muscle in her body tensing. For a moment, rage and raw pain flashed in those fire-coloured eyes. Then, infinitely slowly, she nodded. 'Yes,' she said heavily. 'You guessed. I thought you might.'

'You lost someone,' I said quietly, 'and you've had to put your life back together, just as I've had to.' _Just as I've tried to, _I added silently.

J'shana shook her head. 'No. I didn't lose someone. I lost everyone.'

She gazed into the waters of the Ebonmere, letting out a long sigh. 'I was born in Elsweyr, under the shadow of the sun,' she murmured, ghosts of the past swimming in her eyes. 'On the eve of midsummer, on a night where stormclouds hid the stars, in the heart of the deep, untamed rainforests of my homeland, I was born to Ri'khan and S'rala, born as the heir to the Tygra tribe.'

She closed her eyes. 'We were one of the many roving tribes of the rainforest. Perhaps we were the greatest of them all. The other tribes stayed away from our territory, fearing our strength and our skill. We were hunters and gatherers, but most of all, we were warriors, daughters of the moons and sons of the stars. Our children learned to fight as soon as they were old enough to hold a weapon. We stayed away from civilisation, living wild and free.' She sighed again. 'And my father, Ri'khan, was our leader. He was the mightiest warrior in all Elsweyr. Nobody crossed blades with him and lived. He was fierce and fearless, yet he knew what was best for our tribe. He never led us into unnecessary battles, yet when we went to war, he always ran at our head. Nobody challenged him, and everybody loved him. Especially me.'

She shook her head slowly. 'He was the one who taught me to use a bow and a blade, how to hide in the shadows, how to hunt and fight and stay hidden. I worshipped him. Completely. I always wanted to be like him. Back then, my life was perfect. I could never have foreseen what was to come.'

'What was to come?'

Her eyes narrowed and her voice grew bitter. 'The Thalmor.'

I closed my eyes, thinking of Elandine's death, and knowing what was coming.

'We thought they'd never trouble us,' J'shana growled, her talons glinting in the glow of the Ebonmere. 'We thought that we were small enough and far away enough from the rest of the world to be safe. We hated that they were in charge of Elsweyr, but it was nothing to do with us. The Tygra lived alone. Safe. Free. Untamed, unbound, uncontrolled. We were the Tygra, and we were free!'

Her voice was filled with rage and ferocity as she went on. 'But we were wrong. Seven days after I witnessed the turning of my sixteenth year on Nirn, they came. Their robes were torn from crawling through the undergrowth and their armour was streaked with mud, but their arrogance was undaunted. A small army of them. Twice as many as were in our tribe. Their leader stepped forwards and told us…' She shivered. 'I can tell you the exact words. "We come here in the name of the Aldmeri Dominion, to take census of all the primitive tribes of Elsweyr. You are our subjects, and we are your masters. You need only to allow us to number and record you all, and none of you will be harmed."'

J'shana clenched her fists. 'My father stepped forwards, and his words, too, I will never forget. "I am Ri'khan, chieftain of the Tygra," he told them, calmly, as if he were talking about the weather. "And you are wrong. We are not your subjects, nor your slaves. The Tygra obey no master but the Divines. Leave now, for you are not welcome here."'

'And what did they say to that?' I asked, fearing that I already knew the answer.

'My father said that he would consult with his most trusted warriors,' J'shana continued quietly, 'and he did, and they came to a decision. He faced the Thalmor again and told them, "We have made our choice, and if we die because of it, then so be it. We are Khajiit, children of Elsweyr, from the smallest Alfiq to the greatest Senche-Raht. There is moonlight in our blood and fire in our hearts. We walk alone, through fire and blood and shadow. We obey no master. And we do not fear the mighty. We will not bow to your Dominion. For we are the Tygra, and we are the free."

'The Thalmor leader drew his sword. "That is a perilous decision, cat," he announced. "A decision that will see all of your kinsmen fall. Bow down before us, and we may yet let you live." My father looked him in the eyes. "Then let us fight. For I would rather die on my feet than live on my knees. If my people cannot live wild and free, then we will not live at all." And we drew our weapons as one.'

I bit my lip. 'And so you fought?'

J'shana raised her head, fire dancing in her eyes. 'Yes, we fought. We fought and we died. The old and the young, the men and the women, from the Ohmnes to the Pahmar to the Senche to the Cathay, like myself. They fought and they fell, each and every one. I saw my mother and father cut down right in front of my eyes. And yet we fought on, with tooth, talon and tail as well as blade and bow. No mercy, no quarter, no surrender. We were fighting for our freedom. For if we could not be free in life, then a freedom in death was what all of us chose.' Her tail lashed. 'Skilled warriors though we were, we could not stand against them, outnumbered as we were. One by one, the warriors of the Tygra went to join the Gods. All but one.'

I nodded. 'You.'

She snarled, as if one of her tribe's murderers were standing right in front of her. 'I should have died!' she hissed, her fur bristling. 'I would have died. I was ready to die. I was willing to die. For my people, for my freedom, for the Gods, I was proud to die.' She shook her head sorrowfully. 'I _wanted_ to die. But they did not even allow me that honour. They knew, somehow, that I was the heir to the leadership of the tribe. And they didn't want any other Khajiit following in our footsteps.' She spat onto the ground. 'So their leader sought me out, and he and his men knocked me down and snapped my bow and broke my sword and bound me hand and foot. And after they had murdered my and my kinsmen and burned our home, they took me away with them. They told me that they were taking me to Senchal, the nearest city, where they would execute me in front of all those who lived there. My death would show them what happened to those who opposed the might of the Aldmeri Dominion.' A mirthless smile crossed her face. 'But they had forgotten who I was. I was the daughter of Ri'khan, I was a Tygra, and I was a Khajiit. No Tygra dies bound. No Tygra lets an injury go unavenged. And no Tygra lets a cage hold them.'

She didn't wait for me to ask how she escaped. 'I was guarded day and night, never allowed near a weapon, and never let out of my bonds. But they forgot that a Khajiit doesn't always need a knife to be able to cut.' She held up her hands, letting her talons shine in the dark light. 'They thought that their battle was won, that a primitive savage like myself would never be able to escape them. So they dropped their guard, let themselves become lazy, even fell asleep as the guarded me. Oh, it took me many nights of struggle, but finally I was able to free my hands. And as soon as the rest of me was untied, I slipped my guard's knife from his belt. And I cut his throat.'

She bowed her head. 'Death visited them that night. In those forests, there are many plants that look safe and harmless, but are pure death on the inside. All it took was to slip a few of them unnoticed into their water supply. I knew that all who drunk it would be dead by the next morning. And then I ran.'

She laughed bitterly. 'I can't say where I was running to, or why. All I wanted was to die, to go and join my father and mother and brothers and sisters with the Gods. But every time I held my knife to my heart, I never found the courage to drive it in. Perhaps I was a coward, or perhaps the Gods were trying to warn me that I still had many more paths to walk before I could join my kinsmen. But somehow, I managed to drag myself away from the forests I'd always known. I wandered without purpose or intention, telling no one my name, hardly even noticing where I was going. My life had been torn apart. I did not care about anything any longer. But somehow I managed to walk all across Elsweyr and Cyrodiil, and finally to Skyrim. And it was here that I discovered my destiny.'

J'shana stroked Meeko as she went on, her gaze still fixed on the floor. 'But perhaps because my life had been so utterly ripped to pieces, I couldn't feel right as Dragonborn. I already told you that. I couldn't help but feel… resentful… that the reason I had not died along with my tribesmen was that the Gods had decided to use me for some other, greater destiny. And so after it was over, when Alduin was dead, I went to find Brynjolf. He helped me once, on my quest to defeat the dragons, and he had offered me a place in the Guild then, one that I had not been able to accept then. But since I had nowhere else to go, I accepted then.'

Her face suddenly broke into a smile. 'And before I knew it, I had a home and a family again. Some of them didn't trust me at first, and some of them openly disliked me. But I gained their trust, their approval, and their friendship. They rebuilt my life. Being with them, helping them, having a purpose again, and living with people who actually accepted me and liked me…' Her ears flicked. 'It gave me hope that I could start again. And so I left behind the daughter of Ri'khan, and I left behind the Dragonborn. I became who I am now, and if I could relive my life, I don't think I'd change one thing.'

She looked me in the eye. 'I know why you think you can't go on, Karliah. You saw your life destroyed, just as I did. Don't think I'm trying to say that I understand what you've been through, because I know that I can't possibly begin to imagine your pain. But you've lost all sense of who you are, in the same way that I did for a time. But even if there's no bringing Gallus back to life, you can still return to the Guild. They'll learn to trust you again. They'll be your family and friends, just as they were before.' She reached out and took hold of my hand, and despite her youth I felt then that she was far, far older than I.

'Don't try to work out who you are. You already know. You're Karliah. You're the women who saved my life even though it endangered your own to do so. You're the woman who returned to the Guild despite the fact that they might well have killed you on sight. You're the woman who braved the Daedric Prince who cast you out in order to restore the Trinity. You're the woman who fought her way through Oblivion on Nirn to find Mercer Frey and bring him to justice. You're the woman who Gallus loved enough to die for, and who loved him enough to risk everything for him.' She clasped my hand tighter. 'And if that doesn't tell you who you are, then stop trying to find you who you are. Because who we are doesn't matter. What matters is-'

'The person we aspire to be,' I finished, and I could almost hear Gallus's voice repeating the words he had said to me so long ago.

I looked at J'shana. J'shana, who had turned from a complete stranger to the greatest friend I had in only a matter of days. J'shana, who had fought at my side without flinching or hesitating. J'shana, who had experienced just as much pain and suffering and heartbreak as I had. Maybe even more. J'shana, who had never seemed more like Gallus as she had as she spoke those words. J'shana, who might just have made me believe in myself once more.

J'shana, who, if she had, had just achieved the impossible.

J'shana, who was perhaps the only mortal on Nirn who could even come close to feeling my pain.

I looked down at our clasped hands. 'J'shana,' I said quietly, 'along with Gallus, I think you might be the wisest person I've ever known.' I raised my head, gazing into the depths of those fire-coloured eyes. 'I think you know me better than I do. Perhaps as well as he did.'

I swallowed. 'Tell me. Do you truly believe that I can find happiness again? Do you really think that there can be a future for me with the Guild? Do you honestly think that…' My voice trailed off.

J'shana smiled, her expression infinitely kind. 'That there's still hope?'

Wordlessly, I nodded.

My fellow Nightingale closed her eyes for a moment. Then she opened them again, lifted her head, and met my gaze. And told me.

* * *

The Cistern was deathly silent. Every head was turned to the centre of the room. Men, elves and beastfolk alike had eyes for only one person, and the atmosphere was filled with their excitement and anticipation, so thick in the air that it could have been cut with a knife. The chamber was filled with lantern light, bathing us all in a soft orange glow. But no lantern could possible have shone as brightly as the fiery eyes of the one who stood in the very centre of the cistern, her pelt groomed to perfection until it shone like silver, her bow polished, her head and tail raised high.

Brynjolf stepped forwards with an awkward cough. 'Look, I've never been good at these things, so I'm just going to keep it short.' He fixed his gaze on J'shana. 'Being Guildmaster means more than getting a cut of all the loot. It's about being our leader and keeping this rabble in order.'

A few people laughed audibly, and I grinned. _Like you have to tell J'shana that, Bryn?_

'With that in mind,' Brynjolf continued, 'I propose that the position of Guildmaster should be yours.' He smiled at the young Khajiit. 'Fairly new to our ranks though you are, you've shown talent and skill beyond any of us, and without you, we'd never have brought Mercer to justice. As far as I'm concerned, there's only one person for the job, and that's you.'

J'shana's smile grew a little wider. Meeko, at her side, barked happily, as if he understood what was happening.

Brynjolf glanced to his left. 'Delvin?'

The Breton nodded, smirking. 'Agreed.'

'Vex?'

'Sure. Why not?' The Imperial shrugged, and I didn't miss the slight trace of resentment on her face. It was no secret that Vex felt that J'shana had taken her place as the Guild's best infiltrator.

With a curt nod, Brynjolf turned to me. 'Karliah?'

I met J'shana's eyes for a moment before dipping my head to Brynjolf. 'Absolutely. There's no one better.'

Folding his arms, Brynjolf turned back to J'shana. 'Well, everyone is in agreement, so all I can do now is name you Guildmaster, and wish you good fortune and long life.'

I smiled secretly. I hadn't expected any great ceremony, and none had happened. That was the way the Guild did things. Short and simple.

Brynjolf turned around, looking at the assembled Guild members. 'Well, lads and lasses, if anyone's got any protests, say 'em now. They won't be listened to, though.' He raised his arms a little. 'Take a good look around you! Have any of you ever seen the Guild in such a prosperous state? With Mercer Frey gone and our influence spreading across Skyrim, the Guild's earned a new level of respect it hasn't seen in decades. Myself, I couldn't be more proud to be part of the Guild, or to be serving under its new Guildmaster.'

Shouts of agreement came from the Guild members, and J'shana smiled in a mixture of pride and embarrassment.

'Thank you,' she said, stepping forwards. 'I never expected to be chosen for this honour but… I'm proud to have been chosen. I'll never be able to thank you all eno0ugh for becoming my family, for accepting me. And I swear to you now, on my honour, that I shall give everything I have in me to making this Guild great once more.' She shrugged slightly, as if uncertain of what else to say. 'I'm not much of a one for speeches, so all I'll say is this.' She raised her head high. 'Here's to the future of the Guild. May it last another thousand years!'

Cheering broke out, and a few of the Guild members clapped. I smiled, knowing that Brynjolf had made a wise choice, not to mention a popular one. J'shana was the leader that the Guild needed, She was the new Gallus, a leader to bring together these shattered people and shape them into a family once again. And no matter what happened, I would be here, at her side. Her sister and her friend.

Because she had been right, and Gallus had been right. No matter what had happened in the past, no matter how much these people had cursed my name, no matter how much hatred for me had burned in their hearts, this would always be my home, and these people my family.

J'shana's tail flicked. 'But before you all get back to work, there's still things that needs to be said.'

She looked at me, and nodded in my direction. I took a step forwards, cleared my throat, and faced the inquisitive gazes of the Guild.

'It's only been three months since Mercer Frey died,' I said, my voice echoing around the Cistern. 'But already we've come so far. I've seldom seen so much wealth down here. We've got a new Guildmaster, and a new future, new hope. But we can't forget that there are still people who died to bring us here. There are deaths that have gone unremembered, and sacrifices that have gone unhonoured. And it's time to amend that now.'

I was dimly aware of the eyes of them all fixed on me as I continued. 'The problem is that most of you never knew the people whose sacrifices we need to honour. No matter how much we tell you about them, no matter how much they sacrificed, they will only ever be names to you. And you cannot feel grief for the death of someone you never knew.' I swallowed. 'So I'm going to begin by asking you all to mourn the death of some who all of you knew, yet who I expect none of you ever mourned for a moment. I'd like all of you to take a moment to remember Mercer Frey.'

A bewildered murmur rose up from the ranks of dark-armoured men and women, and I raised my voice above it. 'I'm not talking about the man who murdered Gallus, stole from the Guild and nearly brought us all to ruin.' I looked around at them all. 'I'm talking about the man who brought Vex into the Guild and taught her how to pick a lock and break into a house. I'm talking about the man who fought by my side more times than I can count. I'm talking about the man who served as this Guild's loyal deputy for so many years.' My heart twisted with grief. 'He turned to evil, and he became the man I hated more than anything else on Nirn. But there was a time when he was good man, a brave man, a man of courage and nobility and integrity.' I bowed my head. 'If we cannot mourn his death, then we can at least mourn the fact that there was a time when he was our friend.'

Brynjolf, Delvin, Tonilia and Vex all nodded in agreement, and I could see that they were remembering those times. Brynjolf stepped up to my side. 'Mercer Frey,' he said, loudly and clearly, and the Guild echoed the name in sombre tones.

'Secondly,' I continued, 'We need to remember the man who was the reason that we have come to this, even if most of you never knew him.' I felt my voice cracking and I wanted nothing more than to stop, but I had to say these things, for Gallus's sake. 'I could stand here for years, telling you about Gallus Desidenius, and I could never hope to make you imagine what kind of a man he was. So I will say simply this. He was a great leader, a courageous warrior and a true friend. He was the best and wisest man I have ever known.' I blinked back tears. 'Gallus Desidenius,' I called out, and the Guild repeated his name together.

Of course that did not even begin to say it all. That was only a tiny slice of him, and those of them who had never known him could never begin to know him from that. But I knew that they at least knew all that had been lost with his death, and that they did at least feel some grief for his passing. Not just because his death had plunged them into ruin, but because a man who should not have died had been murdered. A good man, an honourable man, a man who had been like a brother to all who knew him.

'But there were others too.' Brynjolf took over now, clearly seeing my grief. 'And some of you did know them. Some of you were their friends.'

'My mother.' Tonilia broke in suddenly, making everyone turn to her. 'She should be here with us. She shouldn't have died.'

'Elandine,' Vex added. 'Those damned Thalmor called her a traitor, but she worth ten times as much as the best of them.'

'And Thjon.' Delvin's voice was heavy as he called out the name of his former protégé. 'Clumsy as a three-legged elk, and the smarts of a mudcrab. But brave as a bear and loyal as they come.'

Amid the murmurs of assent, Niruin, a Wood Elf who I had come to know fairly well from hours shared together at the archery targets, spoke up. 'Elruen. I guess we'll never know what happened to him, nor whether he's dead or alive. I didn't know him for long as some of you, but he was a good friend, while he was here.'

'The twins.' To my surprise, it was J'shana who spoke. 'I never met them. They died long before I came here. But when I first arrived here, people used to say to me, 'It's good to have a Khajiit here again. We've not had any since the twins.' I've heard so many stories about them that I feel as if I did know them. I wish I had.'

'My mother,' I added quietly. 'I owe her so much.'

In the silence that followed, J'shana stepped forwards. 'The dead cannot be returned to us,' she called out. 'But they will join the Gods, and one day, we shall see them again. Until that day, let us give thanks to them for their sacrifice, and honour their memories.' She drew her sword and held it above her head. 'Hail the dead of our family!'

Thieves and criminals though we were, coarse, uncivilized and uncouth as we often could be, there was not one of us who did not respond. As one, blades were drawn and lifted into the air. 'Hail!' we roared together, loud enough for the air to shake at the sound, and I wondered if somewhere, they were watching us. Gallus, Mercer, my mother, my father, the twins, Elandine, Ahsla, Elruen, Thjon, Dusk, and all the others whose names we did not know, whose names we could not know, whose names we would never know, who had been lost. From the bandits, slaughtered so callously in Irkngthand, to the Nightingale Sentinels who had turned feral without the Key. All of them, every one.

As the sound of our shout faded away into silence, I felt J'shana tap my shoulder, and saw her point to the ground nearby. 'Karliah. Look.'

I followed her gaze, and gasped. Only a few metres away from me, a patch of shadow clustered on the stone floor of the Cistern. There was nothing so remarkable about that, except for the fact that nothing was casting it. And it was deeper and blacker than any normal shadow.

Because it was no normal shadow.

'Gallus,' I breathed. 'Is that you?'

There was no reply. I had been expecting no reply. The patch of darkness swirled, and suddenly withdrew into the natural shadows at the base of the wall of the Cistern, vanishing among them.

A smile spread across my face, a smile of the sort that had not come to me in years. A smile of pure happiness.

It didn't matter to me that he had only stayed for long enough for me to know that he was there, that he was unable to speak to me, that there was a universe between us. He was still with me, staying by my side, watching over me, just as he had promised he would.

One day, I would join him in Evergloam.

But until then, I had a live to live. And I intended to live it to the full.

Because J'shana had been right. This was my home. These people had learned to trust me. They had become my family.

And I had found peace at last.

* * *

In the months that has passed since my return, I had noticed something. The Guild had stopped singing.

Almost every evening, in Gallus's day, we had gathered together in the Flagon, sharing songs, tales and laughter. But no longer. Perhaps they had lost the spirit for it. It seemed strange to me, to sleep to the sound of a silent Cistern in the evenings.

It must have seemed even stranger to the Guild, then, when J'shana suddenly began to sing.

Night had fallen, and we had all gathered in the Flagon, to drink to the future of the Guild. It had been far from silent. The Guild members had clearly not lost their love of boasting of their exploits and telling tales of their endevours. But not a song was heard. Not until J'shana got to her feet and began her song.

It was in Ta'agra, so I could not understand a single word. But occasionally I picked out her name, or her father's name, or the name of her tribe, and I knew from her silent tears that she was singing for her lost kin, murdered for the greed of an army of tyrants. The Guild members watched her with a mixture of confusion and interest, their conversation slowly fading away into silence. I closed my eyes, letting her words wash over me, and thanked the Divines that J'shana's heart, like mine, had been healed.

Of course, the Guild were not the only people responsible. I shot a quick glance at the man who sat beside J'shana, watching her sing with kindness and love shining in his eyes. Derkeethus had been one of the first to welcome me into the Guild- partly because of his natural good nature, but mostly out of gratitude for saving his wife. I had never expected J'shana to be married. Few thieves were- my mother had been unique in that. But nobody who saw the Khajiit and the Argonian together could doubt that they were made for each other, could question the depth of their love. I knew full well that J'shana had not mentioned to me before that she was married out of sympathy, knowing that the only man I had ever loved was long gone. But I felt no resentment towards her in the slightest. On the contrary. I was overjoyed that J'shana had found such happiness. It was no less than she deserved.

The final notes of J'shana's song snapped me out of my thoughts. There was a smattering of applause that quickly grew, and suddenly, as if the Khajiit's tune had been an invitation, the others found their voices. Before I knew it, the whole Flagon was filled with a loud chorus of _Ragnar the Red, _and though it pained me to know that Thjon, Mercer, Elruen and all of my old friends who had so loved the song were not here to join in, the grief was overcome by my joy that it was at least being sung again.

'What about you, Karliah?' Brynjolf turned his head as we finished, looking quizzically at me. 'You've not sang for us since you came back. It's been a long time since your voice filled the Flagon.'

Delvin glanced up with sudden interest, and Tonilia nudged Vex. I smiled, knowing that they must remember the times we had shared long ago. Times I had never thought would come again.

But they had come.

And there was only one song I could sing to honour that.

I got to my feet, shook my hair out of my face, raised my head, and began to sing.

'_Here amid the summer silence_

_Let me stand and close my eyes_

_As the golden strands of sunlight_

_Far above the hills do rise.'_

I saw the other Guild member staring at me, eyes wide, and felt my heart lift, as if it were being borne upwards on a Nightingale's wings. It felt so good, to be doing this again.

And then I heard a sound that almost made me stop singing from disbelief.

A new voice. Joining in on the song. A light, free voice, strong and young and clear.

J'shana.

'_Here I stand among the meadows_

_Dreaming of days long ago_

_In my mind I see their faces_

_All those friends I used to know.'_

She knew the song. It was enough to make my eyes fill with tears. Even when I was banished from the Guild, branded a traitor and a murderer, they had continued to sing my song, my mother's song. Even after twenty five years, they had remembered it, loved it enough to teach it to J'shana.

Perhaps I had not been so far cast out after all.

And then Brynjolf joined in. His deeper, rougher voice contrasted sharply with my higher, more melodic tones and J'shana's mid-pitched, smooth ones, but it only acted to add to the magic. All three of us, singing together, as if we had the voices of Nightingales as well as the blessings of them.

'_I recall when we were children_

_How we dreamed of going forth_

_To where battles raged like thunder_

_In the mountains of the north.'_

One by one, they all added their voices to ask. Derkeethus was first, his hand on his wife's shoulder. The Tonilia, her eyes sparkling with tears. Perhaps she, too, was dreaming of days gone by, the days when her mother would have been here to sing along with us. Then Delvin and Vex, and even though neither of them could carry a tune in a bucket, the gesture made my tears of joy come even stronger. Then all of the others.

'_Then the call to war came sounding_

_One that we could not deny_

_Off we marched, beneath the moonlight_

_Answering the battle's cry_

_There upon the field of bloodshed_

_Entered we a living hell_

_Screams and roars, they shook the mountains_

_Comrades all around me fell.'_

All of them. Each and every one of them knew the song. I looked around at them. Faces that had belonged to strangers, and now belonged to friends. Etienne Rarnis, whose life J'shana had saved when she freed him from the Thalmor Embassy. Niruin, whose skill with the bow came close to rivalling mine. Cynric Endell, a master jailbreaker. Sapphire, who refused to tell anyone her true name, but was nonetheless spirited and loyal. Thrynn, a former bandit. Vipir the Fleet, who had gained his name after running from Windhelm to Riften in order to escape the town guard, only to find that he had forgotten that he had left his horse outside the gates. Garthar, who Vex had invited into the Guild after a difficult start where they tried to kill each other. Vekel the Man, the barkeeper of the Ragged Flagon, whose relationship with Tonilia was clearly more than friendship. Ravyn Imyan, formerly of the Morag Tong assassins, who had fled Morrowind after the eruption of Red Mountain. Dirge, the Flagon's none-too-intelligent bouncer, who even now continued to tell J'shana 'I don't care if you're best buddies with the Guild Master, I'll still smash in your skull if you try anything,' much to the amusement of us all.

I knew them. I trusted them. They were my friends, my brothers and sisters.

And they all knew my song.

'_Love and mercy fled forever _

_Men and women beasts became_

_Oh, I turned and fled the fury_

_Weeping tears of grief and shame_

_Now I dream of that dark nightmare_

_For those days of peace I yearn_

_And I pray for my lost comrades_

_Warriors who'll not return.__'_

I looked around at them as the final notes faded away. Men, elves and beastfolk alike, they had welcomed me back with open arms. An aching void in my life had been filled. And never again would I be alone.

My battle was over. I had come home. Mercer was dead. The Nightingales were restored. Gallus was at peace.

And so was I.

* * *

END OF BOOK FOUR


	42. Epilogue

**So this is my final author's note. I've got a lot to say, so please bear with me, and I'll try to make it as quick as I can.**

**Firstly, and most importantly: Thank you. Thank you ALL of you so much! That goes for anyone who's reading this- whether you, reviewed, followed, favourited, or just read it. I appreciate it a huge amount, you honestly have no idea how happy it makes me that so many people enjoyed my story. ****In particular, I'd like to thank my lovely reviewers: kiwipixel77, NvonHelvete, ay1234, yoyocrazy3, Itchy-rat, writeitandsmiteit, Moojuice Nne of the Mayonnaise, The Storm-Mist account, RukiaoftheBloodMoon, Chris The Cat, Elisabeth Hollow, Tribute-Trials, jeff7761, luck5, Noodle12, DeLyse, Trapinchh, Daos88, SimonStormcloak, Crystal Kingston, BrunetteAuthorette99, Blaxconiox, ShoutFinder, Drakilian Black, OneOfShadows, Sara Mackken, Noxae, MEleeSmasher, Chelta, Knotted, and a few guests. I am so grateful to all of you. I apologise to anyone I missed out! **

**Secondly, I think this chapter might need a tiny bit of explanation. For the first half, we're still reading Karliah's story. For the second, we're inside her mind. Hope that makes sense. If it doesn't now, it probably will once you read it.**

**Since I cannot possibly stop writing about Karliah and Gallus yet (I just love them too much) the first chapter of the sequel/accompaniment, which will be called 'A Nightingale's Song,' and will be Gallus's side of the story, should be up shortly. I've already written it, and will be posting it as soon as possible.**

**I have absoloutley loved writing this story. It's been really rewarding. I hope all of you guys enjoyed it just as much!**

**Thanks again. Eyes open. Walk with the shadows.**

**-Sky**

* * *

_They shall have stars at elbow and foot_

_Though they go mad they shall be sane,_

_Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again._

_Though lovers be lost, love shall not;_

_And death shall have no dominion._

- From _And Death Shall Have No Dominion _by Dylan Thomas

* * *

EPILOGUE

My name is Karliah.

But that tells you nothing about who I am.

Nobody knows who I am. Not really. Not even myself.

But I have long since stopped caring about who I am.

Because Gallus was right, all those years ago, and J'shana was right too. I think perhaps they were always right. There is no need for me to search for who I am. Because even if I have not quite become the person I have dreamed of being, then I have come close. And that is all I care about now. Becoming the best person I can be.

Long ago, a girl called Karliah grew up with her mother. She was young and innocent, learning the ways of the world with wide eyes and a bright smile. But all too soon, that innocence was lost, and the child became a woman, and the woman became a thief. And that thief became a Nightingale.

She was blessed with skill and talent and luck, and more than that. She was given a family, a home, the friendship of many. Her life lay ahead of her, and all she could see was happiness and joy, light and hope. She could never have foreseen what was to come.

A thief knows how to steal, and they know how to prevent another from stealing from then. And yet she did not notice as something was stolen from her, quite unexpectedly. The theft came from the last place she expected to see a thief's hand reaching towards her, and it stole the last thing she would expect to be stolen from her.

Her own Guildmaster crept up behind her from the shadows, and stole her heart. Stole it with such a light and gentle hand that for a long time, she did not even notice.

But as time passed, she came to see that she had stolen his heart from him. And neither of them was willing to give back what they had stolen.

But neither of them wanted back what was stolen from them.

And so they walked onwards, down the path of life, side by side, hand in hand, heart to heart. And neither of them had ever been happier in their entire lives. The future seemed even brighter than before, and neither of them so much as dreamed of the darkness that was rising just out of sight. They thought that their love would last forever.

They were wrong.

Because they were being watched by cold, rage-filled eyes, eyes that gleamed with envy and hatred and madness. And that loathing and insanity and jealousy grew and festered, and finally it grew strong enough to pick up a sword. It struck from the shadows, as mercilessly and as suddenly as a viper strikes. And they were ripped apart, torn away from each other. One was trapped in the darkness of a forgotten temple, lost and alone, knowing nothing of what had happened to his lover. And the other was banished from her home, exiled from her family. Her friends bayed for her blood and cursed her name and hunted her down. And she ran from them, from their hatred, from their fury, ran so far and so fast and so desperately that she forgot who she was.

And then she remembered.

And she returned.

She returned, despite all the danger, despite the knowledge that it might well be her death. She returned, because she had hope once more, hope that the traitor might be slain, her honour restored, and her lover put to rest. She returned, because her love still burned on, brighter than the stars that shine in the ocean of the night. And that love gave her strength.

Strength enough to restore the Trinity. Strength enough to kill the killer, to murder the murderer, to bring death to the one who had brought death to her love. Strength enough to return to the one who had cast her out and beg for forgiveness.

And it gave her the strength to stop fighting.

When your life becomes a battle, laying down your weapons seems like the strangest thing on Nirn to do. But she knew that she did not need to fight any longer.

And so her story ended.

Or perhaps it did not.

It was J'shana who told me that I should write this tale, that I should record my life for the future. So that it might never be forgotten. So that it might always be honoured. So that it would live on, in the hearts and minds of those who read it, so that the dead might never be lost to us, that the battle might be remembered, that the message of hope and faith and courage and love might always survive.

She also told me that it might help me, help me to pour out all the pain that has burned within me for so long. For too long. And she was right. I feel somehow lighter than I did before, as if I have been carrying a burden on my back that has suddenly been lifted. I feel a sense of contentment and calm and joy now that I have not felt for years.

Perhaps this is the time to end with a moral, a message, a lesson. But I do not think so. The message has been woven into the words I have already written, and those who have not found it are blind.

There is little more to say. Only that I pray for you, stranger. I pray that you may never have to know that pain that I felt, the suffering I went through, the grief that a traitor who was once my friend brought upon me.

I pray that you might find a Gallus of your own. Someone to love. Someone who can love you back. If you do, cherish them. Cherish every moment you spend with them and pray to the Divines that your time together never ends. For you never know what is coming. You never know when your happiness might be snatched away from you. That was a lesson I learned the harshest possible way.

And yet…

Of course I am sorry that he died. His death still haunts me in my nightmares, and I cannot escape the sound of his final cry, whether I am waking or sleeping. There is not a single day when it is not in my thoughts. Almost every tear I have shed over the years since it happened is for him.

But if it had not happened…

Then I would never have met J'shana, perhaps the greatest friend I have ever had, after Gallus. I would never have gained the inner strength I have now. And I think perhaps that losing Gallus has only made me love him all the more.

I cannot know what might have happened had he lived, for he did not live. But what I do know is that I have been strengthened by my pain. And when I see him again- and I feel that the time for us to be brought back together is close now- it shall be a reunion made all the more joyful by the years we have both spent waiting.

I love Gallus Desidenius, far more than words can possibly even begin to say. And I know that soon, my time will come. I will join him in the shadows. And nothing will ever be able to keep us apart again.

Some nights, I dream of the darkness of Evergloam. I dream of a world of shadow and safety. I dream of Gallus, waiting for me there.

He is calling to me. And I will answer.

I will return to him one more.

So now turn the final page of this tome, stranger, and make your decision.

Who am I?

Am I the innocent child? The Thieves Guild sister? The Nightingale agent? The contented lover? The exiled runaway? The avenging warrior?

Or am I all of them? Are they all parts of me still?

That is for you to decide.

But I have already made my decision. For I know who I am.

I am the daughter of Dralsi and Elrandor. I am the granddaughter of Barenziah and Drayven. I am a Nightingale of Nocturnal and an agent of the Thieves Guild. I am the slayer of Mercer Frey, the rebuilder of the Nightingale Trinity. I am the woman who is waited for in Evergloam by the man who she loved more than life itself, and who loved her in return just as fiercely.

I am the one who resists the curse of Azura, and who carries the blood of Indoril Nerevar.

I am the one who chose to make her destiny one of the greatest in the history of Nirn.

I am the one whose eyes are open, and who walks with the shadows.

I am the Indigo Nightingale.

I am Karliah.

* * *

Shadows cluster around me, hiding me in their gentle, welcoming embrace. I smile to myself as I draw back my bowstring, feeling the tense, quivering power of my arrow as it trembles slightly in my grip, hungry to be released. I am only too happy to answer its plea, and it shoots through the dry, musty stillness, the sound of the air whipping through its fletching a song that heralds death on the wind. I lower my bow a little, watching it cut the air, watching it sail through the darkness, watching as it buries itself in my foe's throat.

He falls with an agonised moan. His companions stare in shock at his body for a moment, their eyes wide. Then the realisation dawns on them, and they draw their weapons and run forwards.

Another arrow slices the air before it. My target is their leader, but he sees it coming and throws himself to one side, allowing the spectral shaft to strike the man standing behind him. Their heads turn frantically from side to side, seeking out their attacker, but finding nothing. My smile widens as I call out, my voice ringing through the Sepulchre like the sound of a bell, a bell sounding at a funeral. 'Come, taste darkness's embrace!'

The bandits, the fools who would dare to desecrate the temple of my lady, look more frantically still for me, but the shadows hide me still, guarding me in death just as they did for me in life. Some of them falter, uncertain. Others back away. Others turn tail and flee. But most run forwards, towards the sound of my voice, weapons glinting in their hands.

An arrow rebounds off the floor in front of me. I laugh as I take out its firer with a single shot to the neck. I step out of the darkness, revealing myself to them, the battle-blood pounding in my veins. 'Enough games,' I taunt them. 'Let's end this!'

For a moment they stare at me in confusion and shock; then they dash forwards again, their roars shattering the air.

'You won't leave here alive!'

'I'll have your head!'

'You're dead! Dead!'

I laugh again at their stupidity, coolly felling yet another. 'I am indeed. But I am a Sentinel of the Nightingales, sworn to guard this Sepulchre in the name of the Queen of Shadows, and I claim your souls for Nocturnal!'

I may be a spirit, but I am still a warrior, a fighter. And bandits are just as easy to slay, whether you are slaying them alive or from beyond the grave. One by one, they fall, my arrows in their hearts or throats. An Orc thunders towards me, his battleaxe lifted high above his head. I drop my aim and fire. He staggers back with a scream, my arrow piercing his knee. He drops to the ground, his teeth bared in pain. He tries to raise his weapons once more, but I calmly fire again, and he slumps motionless as my shaft takes him through the neck.

Not many are left now. Some are fled, but most lie dead or dying on the ground. Not one has reached me. A ball of fire burns its way towards me, but I simply duck and take aim at the Breton man whose arm is still outstretched from casting it, his body exposed to me. A hiss of air, a _thunk_, and my arrow cuts through his thin hide armour and sends him spinning away. I see one of them duck away behind a pillar, and snort in derision. 'Hiding only prolongs the inevitable!'

She breaks cover and runs for the temple entrance. She never makes more than three paces before she, too, joins her fallen comrades.

A Nord man, their leader, hurdles her body and storms towards me, his steel plate armour shimmering in the pale light. 'Die, damn you!' he bellows, the horns on his helmet making him look like some strange, feral beast.

'You would attempt to kill one of the dead?' My challenge echoes around the chamber. 'Then come and give it all you can.'

He readies his greatsword. 'You can be damned sure I will!'

Another arrow sees the last of his companions twist in mid-stride and collapse. 'Come, coward!' I shout, every muscle in my body tense and taut as the string of my bow. 'Now we fight!'

He lets out a guttural, beastlike roar, and rages towards me. I stand still and firm, and our battle cries mingle in the air.

'I'll tear you to pieces, you half-dead filth!'

'I bring death from the shadows!'

I fire once, twice. The first arrow deflects off his armour; the second strikes him on his unarmoured hand. He gives a grunt of pain, but keeps coming, his face twisted with fury. His mighty blade cleaves the air, and I know that I must use all of my speed and skill to match his strength now. I throw my bow aside and draw my dagger, ducking and weaving around him. We circle each other, two warriors, one living and one dead, both thieves but only one an honourable thief. Only one Nightingale.

He strikes, fast as a bolt of lightning. Too fast for me to dodge. The blade passes clean through my spectral form, but I feel pain shoot through me, and I stagger backwards, my teeth clenched. The bandit gives a triumphant shout and swings his sword again, but this time I am quicker. My dagger bites into his lower arm, through his thin bracers. His involuntary yell of pain deafens me for a moment, and I see his grip on his weapon loosen. Another swipe is all it takes, one that cuts across his hand, and his sword is clattering to the bloodstained ground. He reels backwards, his eyes wide with shock, and I need no more opportunity than this. 'Darkness consume you!' I roar, and I punch my blade into his heart.

His eyes meet mine, filled with perplexity and agony. His mouth moves, forming ragged, rasping words. 'Who… are… you?'

I withdraw my knife and stare calmly at him, and I answer his question with the only answer it could ever receive. 'I am Karliah.'

The hate-filled eyes burn into mine for a second more. Then suddenly they mist over and the rage leaves them, leaves along with his life. He thumps to the floor, and I stand triumphant over his body, over the bodies of all of the fools who had the nerve to come here, to seek the Skeleton Key. I failed to protect it once, while I lived. But I shall never fail in that duty again.

I tuck my dagger away into my belt and bow my head. 'Bless you, Lady of Shadows,' I murmur. 'I live another day.'

_Karliah._

The voice sounds from the shadows without warning, a smooth, calm voice. I raise my head. 'My Lady?'

_Come to me, Nightingale._

My vision grows dark, and blackness overcomes everything. I wait, lost in a world of shadow, knowing that Nocturnal has summoned me to her, knowing that I am safe, that there is no reason to be afraid. All is darkness now. Though it holds me tight in its embrace, refusing to let me go, it is a welcoming darkness, a peaceful darkness, and I allow it to take hold of me and carry me away, like a boat on a gentle sea.

I let it take me. Both as a mortal on Nirn, and as a spirit in the Sepulchre, I have lived long enough.

I open my eyes.

I am standing in the inner sanctum of the Sepulchre.

And I see her. She is floating above a pool of indigo water, her black nightingales perched on her arm and her eyes fixed upon me. I fall down on one knee, head bowed. 'My lady.'

_Karliah. _I expect her to greet me with her usual aloofness, and the warmth in her voice takes me by surprise. _You have done well, my child. Arise._

Hesitantly, I get to my feet, being careful not to meet her piercing gaze. 'You called me here, you grace.'

Nocturnal smiles. She actually smiles.

_Daughter of Dralsi, who was daughter of Drayven. A Nightingale, born of a Nightingale, who was born of a Nightingale. After many years of loyal service to me, both in life and in death, your time has come._

My mouth drops open, and my eyes grow wide. 'Already?' I gasp, unable to believe what I am hearing. Of course, it has been many years since I first passed to the Sepulchre, but it seems like a single moment.

_Karliah, out of all the Nightingales who have ever given up their lives in my service, few have ever given more to me than you. _I have never in my life heard the Lady of Darkness sound so… so understanding, so appraising. _Though you failed to protect the Skeleton Key, it was you who rebuilt the Nightingales and ensured its return. Your debt to me is already repaid. _

She raises her arms, and her nightingales spread their wings. _The eternal peace of Evergloam awaits you. None has ever deserved it more._

I stare at her in amazement, hardly able to take in what I am hearing. All my life, Nocturnal has been so distant from me, so scathing. She cast me out when I most needed her aid, and even when she took me back, it was with warnings and veiled threats. But now she is treating me… I frown, trying to find the words, and then they come to me.

Like a daughter. It is as if she is that scolding mother I told J'shana she was, finally content with my achievements, maybe even proud.

Nocturnal starts to sink downwards into the Ebonmere, her flock of nightingales screeching around her. _Step into the Ebonmere. Follow your fate, Nightingale._

She vanishes, and her last words to me echo through the silence. _Eyes open. Walk with the shadows._

I smile to myself, because I know that it is time for me to obey her command completely. I shall not merely walk with the shadows.

I shall become them.

And so I step into the Ebonmere.

Instantly I am both rising and falling, sinking and sailing upwards through a sea of shadows and purple light. I feel myself slipping through the fabric of reality, into another world, into another dimension. Strength burns through me, and suddenly my eyesight seems sharper, my body more agile, my senses quickened and honed to perfection. The sea of shadows swirls me around in its embrace, and suddenly it throws me aside, and I burst from the conduit between Nocturnal and Nirn-

And fall into Evergloam.

I am standing in a cloud of mist, a dark twilight sky above me, stars twinkling through the breaks in the thick blanket of cloud. I feel younger and stronger than I have in many years. My bow and quiver are on my back, my dagger is tucked into my belt, and my Nightingale armour gleams like polished ebony. I am alone, yet somehow I feel safe and protected, and I do not fear to walk into the mist, letting it envelop me in its white folds.

I break through the cloud after only a few paces, and my eyes widen.

It is Nirn. But it is a Nirn like no other I have seen before.

Every shadow seems deeper, blacker, darker. The light is paler and weaker. The night air seems fresher and cleaner than it ever did when I was alive, and it carries whispers on it, whispers from the creatures of the night, from the people who walk with the shadows, from the darkness itself. I feel so sheltered, so protected… so free.

Because I am not just among the shadows.

I am a part of them.

It is a knowledge, not something I can see or feel, but something I know. I know it in the same way as I know that fire burns and the sun sets. I am shadow, pure darkness, _living _darkness, wild and untamed and unbound. For this is Evergloam. The hidden realm of Nirn. Gallus told me that I would become one with the shadows, but what I never understood was that the shadows were another world, a world for the chosen of Nocturnal.

I can go anywhere. Wherever there is darkness, I can go. To the bottom of the ocean, or the depths of the night sky. To the peak of the highest mountain, or the heart of the deepest forest. I can simply flow through the shadows, through the beautiful darkness, free as free can be…

I laugh, laugh with pure exhilarated joy.

And then I hear a voice from behind me.

'Karliah.'

A voice I have not heart for more years than I care to count.

A voice that I thought never to hear again.

A voice that has all but faded from my memory.

I stiffen with shock, then slowly turn. And there she stands. A part of the shadows, just as I am. Invisible to the living.

But visible to me.

'Mother?'

She smiles, and her crimson eyes glow with warmth through the dark.

She steps forwards and wraps her arms around me, and I allow myself to relax into her embrace. I nearly weep with joy there and then. I have missed this so much. Missed her so much. It is impossible to measure the love of a daughter for her mother, as impossible as it is to capture the wind on the water, or count every star in the endless, ebony-coloured sky.

She breathes my name into my ear, and I rest my head against her shoulder. It suddenly strikes me that she seems far younger than she was when I knew her, stronger and somehow fresher. And I am as tall as she is. But then here in this realm, age is meaningless. And it does not matter to me. She is my mother, my mentor and my teacher, and I am her daughter. She was the mortal who, for many, many years, I thought would be the only person I would, or could, ever love. Perhaps I was proven wrong, but it does not mean that I loved her any the less, nor that any of that love has been weakened within me now.

'I'm so proud of you,' she whispers, her hand stroking my hair. 'So proud.'

Her praise makes a warm glow build up inside me, just as it always did when I was alive and she was alive and we were together, hunting, gathering, creating potions, stealing from the unsuspecting villagers. I search for the words to reply but can find none, so I simply close my eyes and let her voice wash over me.

'I've been watching you,' she murmurs. 'I've watched you grow from a child to a woman, and a strong, brave woman at that. I've seen you learn and change and grow wiser, and I've seen you find an inner strength within your heart that I don't think either of us ever knew you had.' Her smile widens. 'I always knew that you had a great future, but I could never have imagined just how much you would achieve.'

Again, I try to find something to say, but cannot. She understands; I can see it in her eyes. 'And he's been with you too,' she tells me softly, and I do not need to ask who she means. 'He hardly left your side from the day he came here to the day you left Nirn behind to guard the Sepulchre. He's been waiting for you'

I smile. 'I know. He promised he would. And he never broke his promises.' _Except for one, _I think, but for once the thought does not sadden me.

She chuckles, stepping back and surveying me with eyes filled with love. 'I'm glad you found such happiness with him, even if it was for too short a time,' she says, her voice low and serious. 'And I'm sorry that you had to go through such pain.' She rests her hands on my shoulders. 'But you came through everything like a true warrior, with courage and perseverance and wisdom. You saved the Nightingale Trinity. You saved all of the sentinels who were lost. You might well have saved Nirn. You have done things that many lesser mortals could never have done in a thousand years. You should be proud of yourself, Karliah, because I know that I am as proud of you as I could possibly be.'

In all the time that has passed since I returned the Key, I have never once considered being proud of myself. I merely did what I had to do. But now she says it, I realise that I do have every right to be proud. And suddenly, I am.

'Thank you, mother,' I say quietly. 'Thank you for everything.'

She looks at me fondly. 'No, Karliah. Thank you.'

She gestures towards the land around us, and I see for the first time where I am. I am beside the lake near Riften. The water is jet black, and the reflections of the stars shine in its depths, as if you could reach out into the water and touch them, hold the lights of the sky in your hands.

'Go, Karliah,' my mother tells me, her voice filled with kindness. 'Go now. He's waiting for you.'

My smile grows wider still, and with the sound of her farewell echoing in my ears I turn and allow the shadows to take me. I flow through them, as if I am a drop of water in a river, allowing them to take hold of me and carry me towards where I know he will be.

I see the golden leafed tree. I see the waves breaking against the shore. I see the twin moons, bathing the place in light.

And I see him standing beneath the gently stirring branches, waiting for me.

I see him. Standing tall and proud, his cloak flowing behind him in the light night-time breeze. I see him raise his head, and I see him smile. A smile I have not seen for so long and have missed so much. He takes a step forwards, shaking his tawny hair out of his deep brown eyes, eyes that still sparkle with warmth and mischief and wisdom and love.

Gallus.

He calls my name. And I begin to run.

I run, faster than I have ever run before. I run towards him, the breeze whipping my hair into my eyes and rushing in my ears. I run, run as fast as it is in my power to run, because I have to reach him-

We've been apart for too long-

And I have missed him so much-

Missed him so much that there has been a yawning emptiness inside me since the day he was stolen away from me-

But even as I listen to the sound of my feet pounding, I can feel that emptiness beginning to close-

And then I hear his laugh-

A laugh of pure joy-

And I feel something within me explode with happiness-

And I cover the final distance and I hurl myself into embrace, with such force that I nearly knock him clean off his feet.

The rest of the world drops away, leaving just the two of us, and with it, my sorrow and anger and pain. It all fades from my heart, leaving nothing but open, burning delight-

Because at last-

After so, so long-

I have found him again.

And never again will we be parted.

Never.

Gallus gently takes my face in his hands and gazes into my eyes for a moment, his smile so dazzling I could almost be blinded by it. I open my mouth, words gushing up inside me, words that I so badly need to say to him, all my apologies and thanks and my pleas for forgiveness-

But they are never said, because he gives me no time. I know that he sees my words beginning to form, and I know that he knows what I am trying to say, because nobody knows me as well as Gallus does. But I know him, too, and I know that he does not want me to say them. And so his lips find mine, and I am more than happy to simply relax, and let us both float away into a blissful eternity, a secret heavenly paradise made just for him and me.

And suddenly it as if all the wounds Mercer and Nocturnal made on my soul have been mended. As he caresses my face with those warm, gentle hands, it is as if he is pure life, flowing into me and pulling together all the pieces of my shattered life. As I lose myself in his kiss, grief and rage and hurt become foreign concepts to me, merely words, words without meaning.

So a broken heart can be healed, after all.

We finally break apart, and brown meets indigo again. I have waited so long to stare into the depths of these eyes once more, these eyes that are a doorway to the soul of the man I love. And I look past his tears of joy and through those eyes and right down into the depths of his soul.

And I see his own wounds healed. I see his own suffering ended. I see his own broken heart repaired at last.

I see his love for me, burning a thousand times brighter than the stars above us.

And I know that he is looking into the depths of my soul, and I know that he can see how much I love him.

I forget all that I was going to say. What more is there to say? How can words possibly being to say all that is in my heart?

And so I simply let him hold me to him, hold me as if he would never let me go.

I hope that he never does. I hope that we can stay here in this heaven for all eternity.

Because this is where I belong. In his arms.

'Karliah,' he murmurs, almost reverently, and the sound of that beloved voice makes my heart burst with joy.

I see his eyes shining with tears and with bliss. 'Gallus,' I whisper, my voice shaking.

That soft, gentle chuckle echoes through the dark, and he gazes into my eyes, as he says the words that make the future shine out with light and hope and love.

'I've been waiting for you, my little Nightingale.'

~ THE END ~


End file.
